A-spec Lingo 101 | Asexual & Aromantic Vocabulary
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ค. 2024
- Hello, lovely humans! Here is a one-stop to learn vocabulary relevant to the a-spec (asexual and aromantic spectrums) community. Words are important. Language is important. It is important that we, as queer people, and more specifically, we as a-spec people, have the words we need to articulate our experiences. This is how we find community. This is how we express our successes, as well as our struggles. We can educate and increase awareness using words. Also, some words (see: Lush) are just straight up fun and adorable, and a delight to have normalized to the point of usage.
Also, ask us questions for an upcoming Q&A video! You can do so in the comments of this video, on our latest community post (found on our Community page on our TH-cam Channel), or on our Instagram! Make sure you pipe up, particularly when it comes to questions related to asexuality, aromanticism, queerness, gender, the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, mental health, neurodivergence/ autism/ disability, lifestyle, and anything you're curious about!
0:00 Introduction + Q&A
3:14 Basic Vocabulary
5:35 Vocab for A-spec Issues
7:57 Attraction-related words
11:55 Queer Vocabulary
15:30 New & Niche Vocab
17:31 Love You All!
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Welcome, lovely humans and aliens! We are a trio consisting of an asexual, a greysexual, and a demisexual. On our channel we talk about queer things in addition to our other nerdy interests.
Go check out our TikTok & Instagram, too! Links are below.
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My name is Elle (they/she/he) and I'm an enby and aro-space ace doing my queer thing here in the internet universe. Join me and let's be gay nerds. I'd really like that. Love you!!
![[ไฮไลต์] ฟุตบอลหญิง เยอรมนี vs ออสเตรเลีย รอบแบ่งกลุ่ม | โอลิมปิก 2024](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/i_8UO61YqO8/mqdefault.jpg)
About phobia being used - a lot of people try to claim that you shouldn't use (x)phobia because it's ableist against people with phobias or whatever and this REALLY bothers me as someone WITH a phobia. this is just blatant misinformation. there is the word phobia which means (taken straight from Google) "an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something." and there is the SUFFIX -phobia which means "extreme or irrational fear or dislike of a specified thing or group."
it really annoys me that people try to pain using the terms homophobia, transphobia, etc. as bad ableist things purely because of the association with phobias. i promise you we literally do not care, there are better things we want people to focus on like people taking phobias more seriously and not dumbing them down as just small fears and more awareness about phobias we literally struggle with, for some people on a day-to-day life. phobia is not an ableist or wrong or bad term. it has always had these two different meanings and people have always used the words homophobia/transphobia/etc. to describe prejudice, hatred, etc. towards people like us.
Thank you for clarifying this. I think I might try to pin this comment so people can find it easily.
as someone from a latin language this concept is hilarious. someone so confused by the concept of greek ethimology they can't handle the Greek word phobia being in different kinds of words. you just know whoever made this up never studied a language beside their own or language at all. it sounds like when people say they don't have pronouns 😂
You missed a kind of tertiary attraction called Amical Attraction, which is similar to platonic attraction but rather than friends it's a desire to be like best friends, or like siblings/family.
is this like queerplatonic?
@@chithiradiasseneviratne3562 I would sort of guess in a way, but I don’t think most people cuddle their siblings as adults. I think qpl tends to include handholding, cuddling, kissing-but that totally depends on individuals. For me, each term would apply differently. I haven’t actually looked into this particular term tho
literally shut up that is ME
You have described every "crush" l've ever had, thank you
I read that as Animal Attraction 😭😭
But good point!
to give an example of what aesthetic attraction may feel like, I was at the airport the other day and a bit behind me in line there was a really pretty girl - really tall, straight blonde hair to her shoulders, blue eyes, just really pretty facial features....my first thought when I saw her was "wow, I really wanna draw you"
noo pls cause why am I the same way ahahha
I’m aromantic, I have never felt romantic attraction nor been in a romantic relationship, which is why people always think I’m gay or something. However, I have felt that platonic attraction (which could also be alterous attraction now that I’ve learned the term), there are certain people that I want to be close with, like live together or marry them but not romantically, more like in a Queerplatonic relationship
Me and my best friend use the term platonic soulmates for each other (so it's nice to know theres an established term for it)
and i really encourage others to not feel like emotional intimatcy is something limited to romance; cause maybe your other half is your good bud and thats great to show 💛
I am so thankful for this video, I am so glad that people are talking more often about terminology from the aromantic and polyamorous communities:
But here is a note that I think a lot of people get wrong:
Monoamorous, nonamorous, ambiamorous, and polyamorous are relationship orientation (also known as lovestyles) IDENTITIES, which are NOT a choice at all and mirror the romantic and sexual orientations hetero-, a-, pan-, and homo-, respectively.
Relationship Anarchy (RA), for example, is a lovestyle PRACTICE and therefore is a choice about how to approach your social life, just like many non-monogamous and monogamous lovestyle practices in the relationship spectrum that goes from traditional monogamous romantic and sexual relationships all the way down in commitment to romantic and sexual exclusivity towards non-monogamous aromantic and asexual relationships (also known as friendships) on the other extreme of the spectrum.
That is to say that a monoamorous person can find happiness into non-monogamous lovestyle practices of socially relating, like mono/poly relationships or relationship anarchy, while ambiamorous people like me can find happiness in both monogamous and non-monogamous lovestyle practices of socially relating.
I HIGHLY recommend whoever is interested in learning about alternative ways to socially relating in a simple manner to go watch the "Relationship Anarchy" channel by Kale right here at "TH-cam".
I don't identify as being on the a-spec, but the term 'varioriented' describes me so well; i'm romantically/aesthetically attracted to multiple genders, but when it comes to sexual attraction i'm only attracted to the same gender (so i guess you could say i'm biromantic/homosexual?). i'm so glad i came across this term as i was really confused about my identity for a while lol and the fact that there's a term for it is really validating.
I'm aro and straight and one of my love languages is touch but I don't feel comfortable telling my friends I want to express it and I don't wanna sound like a creep for asking for a hug so I just deal with it I'm used to it tho
Hug is a very neutral thing, totally a friend thing
Hope everyone here are having a wonderful times whether that be with your significant others, love ones or just by yourself. And I just want to add that how I personally think it is so beautiful with being AroAce, like all you need are your family, significant others and maybe some pets. Love to every single one y'all.
If someone is my friend they are either someone that I like, get along with or whatever and then there's the "best friend" type where you're like my family and I have a few people like this and I love them with all my heart
I identify as asexual and aromantic, because I find the terms best describe me, but I often feel that I don't relate at all to most other aromantic people, especially when they talk about what exactly they aren't experiencing. It makes me wonder if I just have a weird idea about what romance is.
It probably doesn't help that, deep within my soul, I am actually a tiny post-modern opossum and I rebel against the very concept of language. I can't wrap my head around "types" of attraction, "types" of relationships, gender and sex categories, innate orientation. I'm like, people are just a collection of experience and weird squishy bits. I can respect using labels to describe feelings, and I'm partial to a few microlabels myself, but as soon as the conversation becomes about what gender or sexuality someone "truly" is, I completely check out.
I don't wanna use words. I want to kiss my friends and bite rich people. I want to be naked on a hot day and for it to not mean anything. I want to listen to synth music, smoke weed, and be as intimate as I want to be in the moment.
Preach sib!
Oo, neat! I do need some vocabulary for the a-spectrum! (GARLIC BREAD AND CAKEEEEE, what is your fave cake??? Is that okay to ask for the q&a) I saw the instagram post! I’m excited for the q&a! We had lifeskills and the topic of sexuality came up, I became the factopedia. Our substitute called asexual and aromantic the same thing, which they are not, tho they are in the a-spec. He told me that aromanticism was a few grades higher in difficulty, it had me baffled. He also basically said that people call themselves pan or bi and switch with age. I did tell him they were different and talked about it, he told me I was right. I know a lot, it kind of shocked my class. I guess you know a lot when you’re one of them. I think they should teach us this earlier in school, it’d help young people to figure themselves out or atleast be help on the way. Touch aversion? I kind of feel that, if I do not trust the person or do not know them, I easily feel uncomfortable if they come in physical contact with me. Basically, I only feel good/okay with my friends touching me. And even then, it’s nothing sexual, just huggs and stuff. I might flinch at sudden touch, both because of my touch aversion and because I am very flinchy and easily scared / startled. This was a very good and informative video, thank you so much! Have a lovely day you three! 💜✌️🦑🐙
My best friend is Ace and I’m still figuring out my sexuality so I thought I’d do some research on it. Thank you so much for explaining what these all mean 💖💖💖
I got a ridiculous amount of happiness hearing the oriented aroace explanation. I was hoping you'd cover it as someone who recently realized that's what I am!
Yes! Hamilton! I saw that play in person on Sunday and it was awesome!!!
This video was very informative! I knew most of the terms but there were definitely a few that I was unfamiliar with.
Me and my brother or both on the Aroace spec (I’m grey romantic and ace and my brother is aroace) and this was really nice to see Ty for making this ^^
THE GARLIC BREAD AND CAKE REFRENCES 🤌 MAMMA MIA
Great video! I was surprised that there were quite a few terms I didn't know
I'm so happy I found your channel, it's so comforting to see other aspec people making cool and educational content :')
It’s lingo for the AA-battery spectrum
Is there something wrong with me when I identify myself as a heteroromantic asexual but do not think of myself as queer?
Nope, absolutely nothing wrong with you. How you identify is up to you.
No
Being aspec makes you queer. There is nothing wrong with identifying as such.
This is such a lovely video. I love your calming voice and espcially appreciated how you talked about tertiary attraction, relationship anarchy, being varioriented, and chosen family
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.
Questions:
What advice do you have for people new to the a-spec community?
And, where can new aros or aces go to find communities for them?
Asking as a new aro desperate to meet more people like them
Tumbler and Reddit have communities. I'm not actually part of either, but I browse them.
Hello fellow new aro!
Yeah, Reddit would definitely be a good place, although I’m not sure of a specific community. There are usually large main ones in reference to sexualities and identities, and there are plenty of friendly people to meet. Good luck!!
I'm in an aro/ace Discord server! Let me know if you're interested 😉
@@evarinagarmguardian113 I'm very interested!!
My sister and I have these two friends who we treat like family. We all want to move to Wales, buy ourselves a huge house (with all those incomes), and decorate it with all the niche things we like. We are a chosen family. Three of us are aro, two of us are ace, and we wouldn't have it any other way (although as one of us who is both, it would be nice to have a QPR).
Thank you for talking about touch aversion! It’s something that I have struggled with for a bit. Like yes, I love my family and friends, but the idea of touching them sometimes makes my skin crawl. The worst part is sometimes I really want to, but then when it comes right down to it I can’t do it, not even a high five, or a fist bump. Luckily most of them understand my boundaries and offer alternatives, like I have a coworker who offers air-fives or hand symbols, though I’m not sure what those mean half the time, she’s very much a teenager 😂
For my fellow touch averse aros and/or aces - the people who love you will meet you where you are ❤
I’m glad to have learned of aplatonic. Because I resonate with arospec and acespec on all levels except squishes are rather rare to me. I’m just overall okay with the fact I’ll never get a significant other. If I do have a squish, I admire a person and the things they do so much I really want to be friends with them. Usually I have this only with rather unreachable people, so I never actually fulfill the squish, at most they’ll acknowledge me and it will make my entire week. I guess I’ll be the first to coin the term greyplatonic. But it’s definitely not as common to me as it is to others on the aro and ace spectrum.
Воу, это было очень интересно, спасибо)
Thank you for this!
I hope your mouth feels better soon
❤💛🧡💚💙💜
Aww, thank you! 🌈
I have had quite a hard time working out my romantic/sexuality identity and at the moment identify as aroace but I have also recently realised I’m probably autistic and sometimes I feel like it’s hard to tell the difference between aroace things and autistic things. I don’t know whether this is partly because both of those identities are quite new for me or because they are somehow connected
is that iron widow I see in the back????
Absolutely! Part of my mini book haul, haha.
Is there a specific term for the aesthetic attraction equivalent of a crush or does that fall under squishes or one of the others you mentioned
An aesthetic crush is called a swish
@@gvendurst Thanksss💚
Is there a catagory for being pan but also aroace spec?
Here's how I describe aesthetic attraction. You walk into an art museum. You see a painting. You want to just stare at it for a long while. You think it's beautiful and you love the look of the painting. Maybe it's the style (let's say pointillism). You love pointillism. Now swap "walk into an art museum" for "go somewhere with people", "painting" for "person" and "style (let's say pointillism)" for "how they dress/style/subculture they're in (like being a punk dressed in plaid with patches and safety pins)".
I identify as grayasexual and cupioromantic but I also identify as pansexual and panromantic because gender don't matter when I'm attracted to them. I call myself fox pan which is the pan version of bambi lesbian
this isnt really relevant to the video but do you remember where you got that sweater? its super cute!
I think I got it from Aritzia. I don’t actually wear it much because it’s quite tight and itchy, though, so be warned, haha.
I'm pan-alterous ^^
Hi I am very new to Asexuality and I feel a little overwhelmed by all of these definitions if I’m being honest. I don’t know where I fall of this spectrum and I keep saying to myself “Well I have experienced that in the past. So I know I can experience attraction but my issue is should I be comparing my past self or my current self…
I’ve had 1 relationship and a couple of crushes in college which was about 8 years ago at this point. Since then I haven’t really been interested in being romantic with anyone. But I don’t necessarily want to “close the door” if the right person comes along… Again should I be comparing these definitions to 32 year old me who is way different than 20 year old me…
you look like a TH-camr Claire Saffitz.
Just looked them up, and all I see is a person posing on backgrounds of bread and pastries and other yummy things, and that’s awesome, haha.
@@SpaceyAces yeah I was watching your videos and I kept thinking 🧐🤨I seen you before then I realized your vibe🔮 remind me of Claire. She👩🏻🍳 makes cool cooking video🍩.
I personally think we should stop using phobia as the bigots will just use it to say "I'm not scared of you!" and mock it ... I think it makes more sence to use misia
homomisia, acemisia, aromisia, bimisia
I mean we don't say gender/sexphobic, racephobic, disabledphobic etc we say sexist, racist, ableist
I thought the Aspec included agender identities
I don’t think it’d be wrong to say so; the way I’ve most often heard it used is to describe the aro and ace spectrums, so that’s what I talk about in this video. 💕
@@SpaceyAces my definition of aspec is like everything related to labels with the a- prefix
Guys about this "acephobia" terminology ... I don't think this is the best word to describe negative or confused attitudes towards the ace community. We understand the suffix "phobia" to be irrational fear of dislike, and it makes linguistic, psychological and emotional sense when used in terms like homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, biphobia etc.
But I thought that opposed to the sometimes outright hate those other groups get, it's that aces aren't really acknowledged/recognised? Not out of deliberate malice but literally unintentional ignorance? In that case I think we need the Greek suffix for "to forget" or "unknown". I don't even think it's entirely close to bi-erasure, because that's a deliberate thing done to diminish bi+ peoples orientation.
I don’t care. I’m going to airport soon on my own 👩🦳🪸✨🧝♀️ Im feeling pretty thats all ✨ I don’t know what to say except that am a girl 👩🦳✨ love soo important 🌺🌴🪷🪸✨
Good Information, Thank you and GOOD LUCK😊🥰