Lisa (l) and David (r) are sitting side by side in front of a window with striped curtains, signing their story. Lisa is wearing a red necklace and long-sleeved top. David is wearing glasses and long-sleeved top. Lisa: Hello, I’m Lisa Hubble and I’m Deaf. David: Hello, I’m her husband, David, and I’m hearing. Lisa: I come from a Deaf family -my parents are Deaf and so are my two brothers and nephews. David: I grew up in a hearing family and environment. I’m not a Coda or anything, but I did grow up in Fremont, right near the California School for the Deaf (CSD). So, I grew up being exposed to Deaf people. My school always competed against CSD in sporting events. I remember playing high school football against CSD and they always crushed us because they had some kind of secret count that threw us off. I also remember going with my hearing classmates to watch Deaf plays at CSD, so I did have some familiarity with the Deaf community before Lisa and I met. Lisa: Now, imagine this. He was in California and I was in New York. My intuition told me to move to California for some reason, which I finally did when I was 20. I met him in Fremont in 1993. He told me that he had just married a Deaf woman and that he had a thing for Deaf women (laughing). So, he was married and I was dating another Deaf man. That was the end of our interaction - nothing happened. Then much later, in 2001, I went to Gallaudet and bumped into him there and we greeted each other with a hug. (turns to David) Explain about you joining the army. David: Sure. My first wife was also Deaf, but things didn’t work out. I joined the army and my first duty station was in Washington, DC. Lisa was attending Gallaudet at that time. I was a soldier in the Honor Guard at the Arlington National Cemetary. So, we met again in Washington, DC. Lisa: When we met at that time, 9/11 had just happened and everything was in chaos. We had just started dating. He was working in the Pentagon dealing with the fall-out, so I baked cookies and brought them for everyone to share because I was touched by what had happened. David: Yes, and I also remember that when we started dating, I would go to the Gallaudet campus in uniform and see Gallaudet students passing by in different directions, signing and talking with each other. I’d sometimes see them nudge each other and look at me while signing “what’s that soldier doing here?” I’d sign back, “Hi! What’s up? How are you doing?” They’d do a double-take because they weren’t expecting a soldier to sign. Lisa: (laughing) Yes. We are considered a military family. We’ve been married for almost 18 years now. During that this time, we’ve moved around a lot. When we moved to Washington state, he was deployed to Iraq. We were long-distance for what….almost 15 months? David: No, the first time was 6 months, then the second time was 15 months. Lisa: First, 6 months, then 15 months. Back in 2004-2005, communication was tough. We made do with texting using Wyndtell, which was barely good enough. Then - explain about your Iraq experience. David: Yes, back during my first deployment, I had a boss who was a three-star general, Petraeus. Being a very important person, his office had a big TV for VPN (virtual private network) that allowed him to communicate with the president or - Lisa: --that was a really nice and fancy big screen - David: --yes. Or he would use it to communicate with the Pentagon to discuss war issues. When he learned that my wife was Deaf, he let me use his office once a week to call her using an IP address. I’d call her and she’d show up on the big screen and we’d chat every week. Lisa: That was nice. We’d keep in touch that way. We moved around some more after that, then we settled here in Maryland. One of the benefits - I never thought I would marry a hearing soldier - but he signed and we were able to have conversations with each other. He was involved in the Deaf world, familiar with Deaf culture, which made it easy for us to get along. It’s important that I trust him and that we have open communication. I let him do his own thing - like, what do you do? (turns to David) David: I play the piano and listen to music. That’s nice because I don’t have to worry about whether she likes it or not. I just turn it on and it doesn’t bother her at all. Lisa: That’s a benefit for him (both laughing)! One benefit for me is that I can check with him about certain “hearing” cultural things and what they mean - he can interpret or clarify them for me. He adds a different perspective. David: At the same time, if I’m about to do something that would be considered unacceptable in the Deaf community, she will give me a heads up in advance. Lisa: Yes, that. That’s how we’ve made it through the years. David: Yes, and I would say that it was important for me back in the beginning of our relationship, that I knew I couldn’t change her into a hearing person. She’s Deaf - that’s who she is, as well as her family, her community, her life. When I married her, I knew I was embracing all of that. For me, it was important to adapt to that. Even though I already knew how to sign when we met, my signing wasn’t all that great. It has improved a lot since then. It was important for me to learn more about Deaf culture and to get involved. It was also important that I allowed Deaf culture to be part of our family. So, I think that is what really helped. Lisa: Yes, he’s really unique. For those of you in Deaf-hearing relationships, it’s important to compromise, have open communication and accept who each person is. If you have disagreements or conflicts, it’s important to compromise and your relationship will succeed. David: (nodding, thumbs up) Lisa: (two hands ILY) David: (ILY) Disclaimer: The videos featured by Deaf Counseling Center (DCC) are contributed on a purely voluntary basis by community members. DCC is not responsible for the content or accuracy of the videos. Our sharing the video does not imply our view or endorsement. Deaf Counseling Center www.deafcounseling.com
Lisa (l) and David (r) are sitting side by side in front of a window with striped curtains, signing their story. Lisa is wearing a red necklace and long-sleeved top. David is wearing glasses and long-sleeved top.
Lisa: Hello, I’m Lisa Hubble and I’m Deaf.
David: Hello, I’m her husband, David, and I’m hearing.
Lisa: I come from a Deaf family -my parents are Deaf and so are my two brothers and nephews.
David: I grew up in a hearing family and environment. I’m not a Coda or anything, but I did grow up in Fremont, right near the California School for the Deaf (CSD). So, I grew up being exposed to Deaf people. My school always competed against CSD in sporting events. I remember playing high school football against CSD and they always crushed us because they had some kind of secret count that threw us off. I also remember going with my hearing classmates to watch Deaf plays at CSD, so I did have some familiarity with the Deaf community before Lisa and I met.
Lisa: Now, imagine this. He was in California and I was in New York. My intuition told me to move to California for some reason, which I finally did when I was 20. I met him in Fremont in 1993. He told me that he had just married a Deaf woman and that he had a thing for Deaf women (laughing). So, he was married and I was dating another Deaf man. That was the end of our interaction - nothing happened. Then much later, in 2001, I went to Gallaudet and bumped into him there and we greeted each other with a hug. (turns to David) Explain about you joining the army.
David: Sure. My first wife was also Deaf, but things didn’t work out. I joined the army and my first duty station was in Washington, DC. Lisa was attending Gallaudet at that time. I was a soldier in the Honor Guard at the Arlington National Cemetary. So, we met again in Washington, DC.
Lisa: When we met at that time, 9/11 had just happened and everything was in chaos. We had just started dating. He was working in the Pentagon dealing with the fall-out, so I baked cookies and brought them for everyone to share because I was touched by what had happened.
David: Yes, and I also remember that when we started dating, I would go to the Gallaudet campus in uniform and see Gallaudet students passing by in different directions, signing and talking with each other. I’d sometimes see them nudge each other and look at me while signing “what’s that soldier doing here?” I’d sign back, “Hi! What’s up? How are you doing?” They’d do a double-take because they weren’t expecting a soldier to sign.
Lisa: (laughing) Yes. We are considered a military family. We’ve been married for almost 18 years now. During that this time, we’ve moved around a lot. When we moved to Washington state, he was deployed to Iraq. We were long-distance for what….almost 15 months?
David: No, the first time was 6 months, then the second time was 15 months.
Lisa: First, 6 months, then 15 months. Back in 2004-2005, communication was tough. We made do with texting using Wyndtell, which was barely good enough. Then - explain about your Iraq experience.
David: Yes, back during my first deployment, I had a boss who was a three-star general, Petraeus. Being a very important person, his office had a big TV for VPN (virtual private network) that allowed him to communicate with the president or -
Lisa: --that was a really nice and fancy big screen -
David: --yes. Or he would use it to communicate with the Pentagon to discuss war issues. When he learned that my wife was Deaf, he let me use his office once a week to call her using an IP address. I’d call her and she’d show up on the big screen and we’d chat every week.
Lisa: That was nice. We’d keep in touch that way. We moved around some more after that, then we settled here in Maryland. One of the benefits - I never thought I would marry a hearing soldier - but he signed and we were able to have conversations with each other. He was involved in the Deaf world, familiar with Deaf culture, which made it easy for us to get along. It’s important that I trust him and that we have open communication. I let him do his own thing - like, what do you do? (turns to David)
David: I play the piano and listen to music. That’s nice because I don’t have to worry about whether she likes it or not. I just turn it on and it doesn’t bother her at all.
Lisa: That’s a benefit for him (both laughing)! One benefit for me is that I can check with him about certain “hearing” cultural things and what they mean - he can interpret or clarify them for me. He adds a different perspective.
David: At the same time, if I’m about to do something that would be considered unacceptable in the Deaf community, she will give me a heads up in advance.
Lisa: Yes, that. That’s how we’ve made it through the years.
David: Yes, and I would say that it was important for me back in the beginning of our relationship, that I knew I couldn’t change her into a hearing person. She’s Deaf - that’s who she is, as well as her family, her community, her life. When I married her, I knew I was embracing all of that. For me, it was important to adapt to that. Even though I already knew how to sign when we met, my signing wasn’t all that great. It has improved a lot since then. It was important for me to learn more about Deaf culture and to get involved. It was also important that I allowed Deaf culture to be part of our family. So, I think that is what really helped.
Lisa: Yes, he’s really unique. For those of you in Deaf-hearing relationships, it’s important to compromise, have open communication and accept who each person is. If you have disagreements or conflicts, it’s important to compromise and your relationship will succeed.
David: (nodding, thumbs up)
Lisa: (two hands ILY)
David: (ILY)
Disclaimer: The videos featured by Deaf Counseling Center (DCC) are contributed on a purely voluntary basis by community members. DCC is not responsible for the content or accuracy of the videos. Our sharing the video does not imply our view or endorsement. Deaf Counseling Center www.deafcounseling.com