Tactics Covert Narcissists Use to Draw You In and Keep You Hooked

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ม.ค. 2025

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  • @OGRocker1
    @OGRocker1 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +68

    Spot on... 44 yrs later.... never changes or get's better, just gets worse with age... Our intimacy, sadly has anniversaries', just her lacky now a days... Favorite and her only enemy !!!
    To leave is to be homeless at nearly 70 and with health issues myself, not that she cares... Thanks Lisa, it helps to know; I am not alone... The internet is all the support I have... sorry if I vent Y'all ! 🥲 hugs...

    • @heyoldman2003
      @heyoldman2003 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      run my friend. i did 40 years like that but finally walked away.. i accepted financial ruin … but after going no contact… i feel great . this gal Lise knows her stuff .. listen to her ..

    • @derekazyan9942
      @derekazyan9942 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Poor guy…

    • @adrianlane76
      @adrianlane76 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      The strength required to deal with these demons is emense. Hope you find some peace.

    • @mdc-ps6pl
      @mdc-ps6pl 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      I feel for you I am in a very similar situation same age and she has destroyed me financially and emotionally, stay strong.

    • @OGRocker1
      @OGRocker1 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      @@mdc-ps6pl I hear Ya ... stay strong and take care !

  • @jcnlaw
    @jcnlaw 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Experienced divorce lawyer here (Pennsylvania and New Jersey). I see this every day in divorce court. Stay safe. Stay single! Set firm boundaries or suffer like you have never suffered before.

  • @TroyDeFrates-jh8fc
    @TroyDeFrates-jh8fc 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +74

    It all changes for the better in your life after you finally figure out YOU are the one attracting them. Once you figure this out, you stop inviting them and they move on to easier prey really quickly. That sure was a hard lesson to learn....I was the one sending the signals that called them in on me....I invited them....more than once....sigh....never again now that I understand. Hope this helps someone.

    • @poemsjones4184
      @poemsjones4184 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Saving the screen shot thank you

    • @kengaroo5170
      @kengaroo5170 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Yeap.

    • @jermainewiggins9517
      @jermainewiggins9517 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Me too!! All my doing!

    • @PsychedToknow-qw7cb
      @PsychedToknow-qw7cb 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I'm sceptical that we can ever truly stop attracting them, though. I think the best that we can hope for is to find a woman within our pattern who's undergone extensive shadow work and has attempted to convert to a secure attachment style. Great comment, though. Cheers!

    • @michaelgarrow3239
      @michaelgarrow3239 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I blame mom…

  • @drahusz
    @drahusz 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +161

    My 4 month relationship of THIS was harder then my divorce after 5 years of marriage, but you cant explain this to anyone around you .

    • @brianrossiter6427
      @brianrossiter6427 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +37

      Absolutely. A divorce after 13 years was NOTHING like a 10 month entanglement with a narcissist. It’s unspeakable abuse and horror.

    • @mukesh.dhimar
      @mukesh.dhimar 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

      I haven't been married but I totally understand you as I was in a relationship for over six years and my one year relationship with the narcissist was a million times worse.

    • @RansomeDavis
      @RansomeDavis 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

      I totally understand you, i had a 3 month relationship with one, we both know all about the mind games and gas lighting and the love bombing dont we.

    • @LuizMirandaLMT
      @LuizMirandaLMT 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      No one, no one, that did not experience a relationship with a cluster B disorder, can understand what is be in a relationship with someone that has a cluster B disorder. Do not even try to explain to someone, what you have been through, they just can get it, it is just impossible ! Unfortunatelly, the only way to understand is going on that rollercoster !

    • @derekazyan9942
      @derekazyan9942 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Try 7 years….

  • @dhd-00
    @dhd-00 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

    You will be treated like gold for months. Everything is hot and heavy - you found the perfect partner who is attentive, affectionate and passionate. The first red flag is they keep sharing their own stories (non stop blabbing from their aide) and don’t seem to be too interested in what’s going on in your life. The convos always switch back to what’s going on with them. Suddenly there is a switch and they are indifferent. For NO reason. There was no argument, no fight - in fact, the night before might have been one of your best nights together. After that switch, they will never ever come back to normal. You will be faced with constant silent treatment. You will be walking on eggshells. The minute you corner them and ask them what the hell is going on - you will be stonewalled. They gain power this way. You will be CONFUSED af. You will do everything you can to have the “old” them back, because you don’t like this new version. What you need to realize is the “old” version never existed. It was a complete lie and act - learned from friends, movies etc. It was a character made just for you - it’s no surprise you had a lot in common and now suddenly you don’t. The person you fell in love with completely disappeared, they are ghost. It is absolutely heartbreaking and devastating. All you see is the same body without the same soul. The more frustrated they see you - the more the run and push you away because they don’t want you to see that it was all a mask. Affection is out the window at this point. They can barely kiss or hold hands, but when earlier you were on their lap 247. The real them came out and the mask is off - they hate any from of emotion or love because they are not capable of it. You will be faced with constant gaslighting and they will try to distort your reality so you don’t see them for who they really are. You need to run like the wind - this relationship only makes you destroyed. Their friends don’t know.. for the covert ones - only their romantic relationship partners can figure it out. Because they are so careful with their image, it’s all about perception management. And one day… after all the cognitive dissonance and sleepless nights and feeling sick to your stomach.. you open TH-cam and it’s a door to all your answers. You are well with a narcissistic psychopath that has no feelings. Leave and never look back. Additionally, If you need to uncover the truth about a cheating narcissist, send your request to *MetaspyHub@gmail.com* for discreet and effective assistance.

  • @ErnieHerrera-c9r
    @ErnieHerrera-c9r 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    Man this women is a God sent person. No one has nailed it as perfect as this.

  • @ThePurplePillPerspective
    @ThePurplePillPerspective 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +30

    Any relationship with. Covert narcissist always starts off great! This is why you move slow and understand them psychologically. Be safe out there!

    • @sand0077
      @sand0077 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      It's like test driving and inspecting a car prior to purchase.

  • @radicleman
    @radicleman 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +55

    Its uncanny how spot on these videos are! Incredible and ever so helpful to help get out of these awful situations

    • @FoxSleeping
      @FoxSleeping 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Listen to her cheating video. It’s so real it is haunting. You can feel the demons. It honestly chilling.

    • @Christopher-t9p
      @Christopher-t9p 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      As a man who's recently left a marriage, im so grateful the lady who creates these videos gives them in context from the males perspective. Her videos really REALLY helped me to make some very difficult decisions which, in all honesty, I'd have convinced myself otherwise and lived a life in a marriage that identified with every...single trait she discusses in a multitude of this lady's very helpful, informed and constructed uploads in a way that helps a man like me to identify with ACTUAL instances (with a long history of those traits present in retrospect)
      Thankyou, you've helped me to save my own sanity.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  14 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      Thank you!

    • @DConnectEmpire
      @DConnectEmpire 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      And if you are in denial about how your relationship is somehow "special" and different than all the other Cluster B relationship, listening to Lise for 5 minutes removes any doubt and you find out there is whole blueprint to how these people operate. There is absolutely nothing special about your circumstances save a few irrelevant details.

  • @Cassiemom-1234
    @Cassiemom-1234 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +25

    Excellent video. This isn’t just about female narcissist relationships, but sisters, mothers, friends (minus the withholding sex part). You just described what I’ve experienced with a narc sibling.

    • @anonymousprivate6814
      @anonymousprivate6814 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Yes. Good comment. I was thinking the same. I can really relate this to my relationship with my mother.

    • @jtg1465
      @jtg1465 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Really wish there was more content about female covert narc siblings who triangulate their elderly parent(s) into the equation as a way to abuse you.

    • @Cassiemom-1234
      @Cassiemom-1234 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I agree. I know relationship narcissism is horrible, but it’s just as much when it’s a family member. Maybe worse in some ways because these people are supposed to be your support system. When a narc family member has control of any situation it’s a nightmare. In my case, a sibling having power of attorney of elderly parent… 3 years of hell

    • @maryannleighton
      @maryannleighton 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      So on point

    • @youtubesurfer1533
      @youtubesurfer1533 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      This is about a true evil of feminism

  • @davidhuffman9182
    @davidhuffman9182 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    You just explained step by step 200% Exactly what my recently divorced (34) yr old son went through for 8yrs from 2014-2022 . We are thankful he dint take his own life , if it handt been for his saving grace ( two small children) whom adored him IDK what would of happened. SHE is the one who left & just had a child with another man whom is now snared!! We seen the many red flags for years, but his love for her & children kept him trying Harder to his constant state of exhaustion. Once she completed grad school( HE paid for) 30 days after graduation she left. (Thank god) Mentally it almost destroyed him because of his deep love & commitment to her. Thank God 2yrs later he is in a better place. By the way she is lic PMHNP who is now making 3 times more than him & is on meds & seeing a therapist herself for last 2yrs and has taken HIM to court twice so far trying to get soul custody of their small children. We pray nonstop for him & grandchildren. Thank you for telling his story!

  • @baldersn4474
    @baldersn4474 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Once you get out or are disgarded and after months the trauma bond starts to lift and the cognitive dissodence starts too fade..And your in no contact beware of the hoover , direct or indirect, ignore or block..Doesnt matter what she last said too you and how it ended , they'll be back...Do not give supply , positive or negative...AND DO NOT REACH OUT, block if you can...

  • @derekazyan9942
    @derekazyan9942 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

    I was in a relationship with one for 7 years. She discarded me twice, cheated, triangulation…. Everything said in this video. They are mentally ill but can fake it for quite awhile

    • @supportthejerseymob
      @supportthejerseymob 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Yup me also, yet I’m still
      Screwed up over her discarding me so cruelly and somehow I still miss her.. I have a horrible trauma bond. like a drug addiction.

    • @thismarxtheendforjoo2298
      @thismarxtheendforjoo2298 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Discarded twice, triangulation throughout most of the relationship almost 10 years worth…. Been separated for 5 months and she is in the past week trying to get back in and hook me.
      Good luck my brothers and keep your head on right and see through the BS!

    • @supportthejerseymob
      @supportthejerseymob 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@thismarxtheendforjoo2298 make her sweat it out … she’s seeing if she still has power over you.. these people are sick

  • @FoxSleeping
    @FoxSleeping 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

    “God brought you into my life to save me, protect me”.
    While she is cheating with multiple married men.
    She looked, sounded and dressed so pure, and sweet, and innocent that the Virgin Mary (which she wore on her neck every day) seemed like a Kardashian in comparison.

    • @joseluisalvarez3325
      @joseluisalvarez3325 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Shiiiiiiiit😢

    • @sangueblu4588
      @sangueblu4588 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I was sent to her by her deceased father

  • @MrEverybody-v9v
    @MrEverybody-v9v 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +18

    I'm always blown away by how spot on you are. I cannot believe that you could describe my wife's behaviors so closely that I feel as if you know her and have observed her behaviors directly. I moved out recently and am wrestling with many emotions right now. Your videos helped me to understand the manipulation and brainwashing I had undergone for the last 18 years with her. The first video I watched was "Tactics and Mind Games of the Female Covert Narcissist". You could have literally read the book of my entire relationship with my wife back to me. I was floored by the realization that she acted exactly as described in that video. I appreciated that video greatly and it helped me gain the confidence and strength to get away from her abuse. Thank you.

    • @jamesmcginn8874
      @jamesmcginn8874 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I got put also

    • @clintonnagy1662
      @clintonnagy1662 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Hang in there soldier. I know its hard. You're NOT alone.

    • @MrEverybody-v9v
      @MrEverybody-v9v 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@clintonnagy1662 Thank you

    • @sliferx77
      @sliferx77 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Same here. It's like she reached into my soul and literally described my life for the past 10 years. It's unbelievable.

  • @ImaginThat
    @ImaginThat 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

    This is the exact description of my X wife and now my grown Daughter. My X did it to me for 10 years and my Daughter is doing it in her many failed relationships and with her 3 children by different fathers. She try's to use it on me but I really try to put a stop to it, mostly by creating a distance, and confronting her with her perpetual victimhood!
    Oh my God it is so disturbing and controlling, there is always more drama that someone else has created....

  • @Kmack840
    @Kmack840 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

    Lise, you nailed it again!
    I got out of my narcissistic relationship 12 years ago, and i feel that you just narrated it to a "T".
    20 months in it. Got out but was trauma bonded into 12 more months of trying to get back together and breaking up again. Cycle after cycle. Highs & lows rapidly cycling faster and faster. Almost proposed to her during a cycle then we were broken up 7 days later... insane!
    Then after a year of intermittent contact (big mistake) and dating others, I finally met the most stable, caring woman of my life and we married 3 years later.
    10 years later happy, and wish Strength to others walking this road. Go with your gut. Reclaim your true self. Peace!

  • @BeNice524
    @BeNice524 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Sleeping with the Enemy. She feels like a constant threat in the house. Even with the silent treatment.

  • @greenbrain8725
    @greenbrain8725 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    Good advice about “the more you give, the more secure they feel, the more demanding they become”. Yes indeed. And then the babies came and I was in a gilded cage of dependence. My story is about a husband. Be very careful before you have babies!

  • @mukesh.dhimar
    @mukesh.dhimar 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    I know I've said it so many times but these videos are just incredible. So helpful and all absolutely spot on. It actually gets me through knowing that it's not just one person that tried to ruin my life. Which makes her bit special. It just means there are more demons out there that we have to all fight together.

    • @mukesh.dhimar
      @mukesh.dhimar 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @10greenbottles1-o9q
      Hello. Please read this.
      It was the same with me. I helped people all the time and I feel that The Demon she is, took away every good quality I had and didn't even know I had. Kindness, caring, generous, empathetic... people told me this. And that's who I am and I'm eventually getting back to it.
      As well as working, I do lots of voluntary work which has helped me find all this again.
      She did take all the good things away about you. That's what they do. It's all by design.
      The important thing you have to do first is to forgive yourself.

  • @jean-pierrep6844
    @jean-pierrep6844 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    No, I've had these experiences more than once when I was young. I couldn't see reality clearly in the first couple of months.

  • @Green89_
    @Green89_ 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    One of the last things my narc said to me was “I realize I don’t NEED you anymore.”

    • @Lucitaur
      @Lucitaur วันที่ผ่านมา

      Bro, similar thing happened to me not so long ago.
      I was talking to her over the phone while on a trip, was exhausted both mentally and physically because of everything I went trough because of her to the point I LITERALLY WASN'T CAPABLE OF MAKING SENSIBLE SENTENCES WHILE TALKING!
      Do you know what she said to that?
      'Hmmm... seems I won't be getting the talk I came here for' with an extremely condescending tone, as if I was a pair of unusable dirty socks.
      Needless to say, she dumped me few weeks after and got together with her abusive ex.

  • @Christopher-t9p
    @Christopher-t9p 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    As a man who's recently left a marriage, im so grateful the lady who creates these videos gives them in context from the males perspective. Her videos really REALLY helped me to make some very difficult decisions which, in all honesty, I'd have convinced myself otherwise and lived a life in a marriage that identified with every...single trait she discusses in a multitude of this lady's very helpful, informed and constructed uploads in a way that helps a man like me to identify with ACTUAL instances (with a long history of those traits present in retrospect)
    Thankyou, you've helped me to save my own sanity.

  • @tlee3454
    @tlee3454 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I went through this with my ex wife. I left after 4 years with her. I took 2 years off from dating to be heal and grow. I started dating another woman about 2 months ago and after a month she started acting the same way as my ex. I told her that we were done and she went through all the blaming and name calling. I responded by saying I wish you the best.

  • @freemandavy9868
    @freemandavy9868 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    Wow. So accurate. The biggest Hoodwink of my life.
    Thank you so much for this vital information

  • @themaster408
    @themaster408 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    god it's like my ex watched this video 20 years ago and went "oooo, I need to write this down and do all of these steps". The line of you're willing to do anything to get even a scrap of affection is so true. A year after I left her and dated someone, it was shocking how much intimacy I got and love I received.

  • @Lkingfwdnevabkwds
    @Lkingfwdnevabkwds 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    The mask dropped once we got married. Dated 1.5 years, six months into the marriage I remember thinking "I feel like I am hear to just take care of her and her two kids". This is a very accurate video. Blessing in disguise, she left me for another narc

  • @jori2k
    @jori2k 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Thanks for opening up my eyes to the toxicity I was submitted into. It's been two years that I was able to walk out--sometimes I feel the need to get in touch again but one of your videos pops up to remind me to keep moving forward. You saved me in many ways Lise ❤

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Thank you for sharing your experience!

  • @Xenaphone1
    @Xenaphone1 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    It's been two years since her "mask" came off. I'm over it and happy. When she comes around every now and then to take me off the shelf, it's entertaining... and kind of funny.

  • @brian32151867
    @brian32151867 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    This is exactly how my 22 year marriage began. As you said, I rushed in to be the hero. Then the switch flipped and I'm the bad guy and she is the victim. She initiated the divorce last year and it's dragging on with amplified darker versions of the behaviors described here. Her issues and feelings are always more important than mine.
    Thank you for articulating these concepts in such a direct fashion. I felt like I was losing my mind so it's helpful to get the reassurance that I'm not alone in this experience.

    • @TravelGirl-b6b
      @TravelGirl-b6b 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Brian, did you have a support network? My son married one of these women 4 years ago. He cut off all of our family and his friends. How did you make the break? I miss my son, but he thinks he is protecting her and has become enmeshed with her family. I have been searching for answers since it happened.

    • @brian32151867
      @brian32151867 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@TravelGirl-b6b I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your family. My parents were in a tough position because they were worried about how I'd react if they tried to share their concerns. I probably would have been hurt and it's only now I can appreciate how hard it was for them. A lot of guilty feelings for me knowing I put them through that (but that's all me and nothing they ever did or said).
      I wish there was an easy answer I could give you. Be present for him as best as you can, be patient with him as best as you can. It may take a long time, but I'm hopeful you'll find your way back to each other. He's lucky to have you. I'm wishing you all the best.

  • @fahimshahriyar2494
    @fahimshahriyar2494 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    Make one about how to heal from female covert narc.

    • @nyptblueone7734
      @nyptblueone7734 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Or if you can’t how to best cope so you can survive with the least amount of injury.

    • @Aggress1vegg
      @Aggress1vegg 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      there are many on the subject in her channel - one of them th-cam.com/video/cnMdYr-1Zbg/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=LiseLeblanc

    • @kengaroo5170
      @kengaroo5170 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@nyptblueone7734
      They are very concerned about their reputation. If you have dirt on them, use it to negotiate. Let them win some stupid battles while you win the war. Never let the enemy know when they are making a mistake.

    • @blerimmuka6025
      @blerimmuka6025 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      You have to understand that this person is evil. Go no contact, find a new partner and after 2-3 months you gonna feel better.

    • @fahimshahriyar2494
      @fahimshahriyar2494 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@blerimmuka6025 she was so pretty & attractive, I mean there might be prettier girls but I feel like I Won't be attracted to anyone like I was attracted to her. Can this feeling of mine change?

  • @apersonontheinternet-p6y
    @apersonontheinternet-p6y 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I now often think that after surviving 18 years and 6 months of Narc abuse, if she feels like you found your soulmate, she's probably got serious mental health problems. My narc ex started out as a covert narc, she then got better, there was a good section of that 18 years she was fine and normal, then weirdness returned after the CV19 lockdowns, then out came the overt narc and finally even worse the malignant narcissist.

  • @ebuddha5
    @ebuddha5 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    100% right in my case. She was wonderful in many ways but the passive aggressive sabotage was our doom.

  • @dazhatz
    @dazhatz 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    This is absolutely spot on... It's a shock to hear someone you've never met describe perfectly what you've had to deal with. Thankyou Lise these descriptions really do provide strength and understanding.

  • @Sublette217
    @Sublette217 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    The final straw in my relationship with my ex-fiancée came when my father was in his last few days three states away. My ex showed up looking for sex and when I didn’t respond and told her my Dad was DYING there was zero empathy - none. I wrote her the Dear Jane letter the following month. She never spoke civilly to me again.

  • @PsychedToknow-qw7cb
    @PsychedToknow-qw7cb 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    That was almost *exactly* how it was; there were only a few differences, perhaps because she had BPD too. The day after I'd had an operation, she sent me texts, and in each one of them, she went on and on about herself. Even after I sent her a text that read "I've just had an operation!", she still kept going on about herself. I'm far from perfect, but it's hard to believe that anybody could be that selfish. Another highly accurate, informative video, Lise -- thanks once again! ❤

  • @adrianlane76
    @adrianlane76 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    30 years in. These videos are amazing, the relief! Spent years thinking it was a series of separate weird toxic traits never thought that they could be grouped together as one personality type. Everything is on the button. Knowledge is power. Best way to win is not to play their game!

    • @Cassiemom-1234
      @Cassiemom-1234 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I did the same… projection, anger disorder, low self esteem, pathological liar, control issues … I had no idea they were parts of one psychological condition. So glad for these videos.

  • @A_n_y_t_i_m_e
    @A_n_y_t_i_m_e 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    If it looks like it's something you ever wanted - it's not real.

  • @johnhamilton4677
    @johnhamilton4677 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    My wife of 12 years fits the description of the CN to a T. Looking back, I can see that she exhibited some of these symptoms at the beginning that continued all the way through. In 2020, a brain anyrism was discovered and she had to have brain surgery. After this, she suffered 4 strokes--the last of which damaged the frontal lobe of her brain. This occurred on mother's day of 2022 and my life has been hell ever since. The stroke seems to have exacerbated the behaviors that she already had under some control. I really do miss her.

  • @sawit_b4u
    @sawit_b4u 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Spot on! Love coming back to your videos for a reminder of what was, and what wasn't! I feel sorry for her next victim.

  • @mitch28894
    @mitch28894 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Lise! Where were you when I was 20 years old? 10
    And 25, and 35 and 45 and .... Well, I finally learned my lesson. Thanks for your great work. I still struggle with this, so your clear message is so helpful in seeing the reality and getting away quickly. Younger guys ... Save yourselves from a lot of suffering and Pay attention! Lise knows her stuff!

  • @sand0077
    @sand0077 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    It's a no win situation and best avoided to preserve one's dignity and sanity.

  • @MaestroMaxim
    @MaestroMaxim 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    The video you created is truly appreciated, as your tutorials continue to shed light on many unanswered questions and alleviate feelings of cognitive dissonance. I found it particularly helpful to hear your insights again, as you delved deeper into the complexities of reactive abuse. You addressed the pattern of on-and-off interactions, along with the smear campaigns and false accusations that often accompany them.
    Your explanation of circular argumentation really resonated with me, especially how it illustrates the tendency to shift blame when someone refuses to take accountability. It’s frustrating how they change the parameters of the conversation, moving the goalpost whenever it suits them. This behavior can lead to a profound questioning of one’s self-worth, making it clear that the only thing that sustains us is our own sense of self-worth.
    No matter how wrong they might be, they will twist the conversation to make it seem as though they are right, unable to accept any form of being wrong. This reflects the power struggle they engage in, where reasoning fails to penetrate their defenses. Ultimately, their lack of empathy only exacerbates the situation, making it difficult to find common ground. Thank you for articulating these experiences so effectively; it truly helps to make sense of our own feelings in these situations.

  • @AgapeTeoforado
    @AgapeTeoforado 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Losing a relationship with a narcissist Is The solution, The moment One finds out someone Is a narc, anathema Maranatha. God Bless and Take care of You All, and deliver US from evil and narcs. Amén 🙏

  • @steini4354
    @steini4354 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Spot on, clear-cut description of covert narcissistic abuse. Great channel!

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you!

  • @DannyBurch-bo5mn
    @DannyBurch-bo5mn 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I was with Covert Narc 5 years,I left 6 mo ago it's tuff, thanks Lisa you are wonderful,so many of us men are not understood about how this vicious behavior is very traumatic most men try to remain strong and tough but I myself have a very sensitive side and she prayed on it thanks again for all you do.

  • @jotabe1984
    @jotabe1984 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    man... i can't even tell how deep this video hits inside of me...
    everything the video says its basically true... i have experienced this behavior and even the withdraw (Narcissist discard) from my ex...
    it hurts deep inside but this vids in a way shows to me that this has an explanation and that i have a way to heal (zero contact). So therefore i really hope i can make it

  • @MAV511
    @MAV511 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I caught her cheating on me, and I was trying to explain to her friend, and now I’m the bad guy in her flying monkeys

  • @upsidedown4734
    @upsidedown4734 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    This is her. Now, I have to co parent with her. What a mess!

  • @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw
    @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    It was pointless to talk to my X, who wasn't open to discussion to work out the relationship. She used controlling, manipulation, and gaslighting to control the relationship. I was walking on eggshells. After a while, my X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. She thought that the grass was greener on the other side. Now, my X is cashing in her regrets and choices she has made. Yet, she has to much pride to admit to it. There is no coming back for my X. Karma is a biach. I have leveled up, and I am recovering from my X trama bonding.

  • @professorx4588
    @professorx4588 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    I’ve been w my wife for 24 years and only recently discovered what NPD is. I feel like a dummy but i also understand how it happened. I had her arrested Saturday night for domestic violence and will be reclaiming my freedom and sanity at 53 years of age.

  • @mdc-ps6pl
    @mdc-ps6pl 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Excuse me....have you been tracking my relationship for the past 22 years? You have just 100% described my 22 year relationship. I suppose I am still stuck in a trauma bond but with the knowledge I have now I am breaking free, sadly it is a little late in life ,I am 70 soon and she has devastated my confidence to start again with another relationship so I face my remaining days on my own, if only I had known then what I know now, the only positive is our daughter although she is working on distancing her from me . Thank you for your brilliant , insightful and supportive videos .

  • @meteokatar7857
    @meteokatar7857 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thank you very much for adding Turkish to the subtitles, you helped me a lot in a very difficult period.

  • @nyptblueone7734
    @nyptblueone7734 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Once again thank you for the advice! You are right on target. Hearing all this helps me cope.

  • @gregkirk1842
    @gregkirk1842 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    As someone who had a child with one of the narcissists, I don't get why anybody wouldn't just leave if they are just dating. I absolutely CANT abandon the kid with this monster. My whole life is nothing but passifying this demon of women so our daughter isn't traumatized daily. Its hell.

  • @brandonreccejitsninja6076
    @brandonreccejitsninja6076 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

    Im stuck, 😢.
    I want it to be real and my brain just lulls me in. I know i need to leave. Just can't yet.

    • @jaythizzle01
      @jaythizzle01 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I, truly, hope, you feel better, soon.

    • @nyptblueone7734
      @nyptblueone7734 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Brother, I feel your pain. I’m 72 years old and no way out.

    • @radicleman
      @radicleman 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      No contact is the way out - detox just like an addiction

    • @OGRocker1
      @OGRocker1 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Me too... hope you get resolve soon.

    • @joseluisalvarez3325
      @joseluisalvarez3325 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Run, no shame in running.

  • @richardalonzo4717
    @richardalonzo4717 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Why would somebody who is so talented at reading people and pleasing them use these powers to enslave and torture them?

  • @christophergrundy4424
    @christophergrundy4424 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    A truly accurate analysis that captures the process I went through towards the end of my relationship when I started asserting my boundaries. Thank you so much for sharing this content as it has been vital to my recovery and self-awareness. X

  • @davydavy5300
    @davydavy5300 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I know a lot of lesbians, and bisexual women who have also found these videos helpful. They've found themselves in relationships with a female covert narcissist. Caught in the same type of toxic web. The relationships can be romantic, family, friends, colleagues.

  • @franksimmons9242
    @franksimmons9242 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    It's good to be armed with this kind of information it helped me spot a situation in progress recently. Still not easy because there's nothing else you just feel sorry for them. And oh yes every hobby every goal every project they get all excited and love talking until you start showing proof like a project you're working on and why the hell did you do that you can see the jealousy and shock and suddenly you get a Vibe like you're bragging! Now it's a competition? Run!

  • @alexcika9906
    @alexcika9906 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I sat there with my mouth open like you started this video out saying my name and actually KNOWING this was my marriage , Wow

  • @robertreed3095
    @robertreed3095 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Been there. Done that. If only I had known ! But I did my best to protect our children. . . Sigh!

  • @JohnSmith-wo7ns
    @JohnSmith-wo7ns 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Totally my experience. I love these Monday night reminders of who she really is, as my mind still tries to convince me otherwise.
    From the beginning she would finish things if there was anything she wasn't happy about, at first I just said fine, go then. But like you say after a while it used to devastate me so I would always give in and grovel to get her back. Looking back it was pathetic, but in the midst of it, it felt like life or death. Thanks again for the reminder of the monster she was.

  • @Cougs2894
    @Cougs2894 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Wow! It’s like you have a mirror into my 27 year marriage. Glad it’s over. I have not felt this at peace in a very long time.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you for sharing your experience, and I'm so glad you've found peace.

  • @ATTENUATOR28
    @ATTENUATOR28 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Quality content again Lise 100% accuracy 👌

  • @malbinalmonte5029
    @malbinalmonte5029 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Wow, what a video to start the year!, simply the exact information that I needed to know. Thank you, Lise, for always taking care of us.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I'm so glad that this video resonated with you.

  • @wadewixom7029
    @wadewixom7029 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Nailed it!

  • @andredparadis
    @andredparadis 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Giving simple attention to my 10yo son, that is not her's, frightened me every time. Her reactions were random, I never knew where to stand. Stomachache and hands trembling.
    Thank you so much for helping me realize that I was not the problem.

  • @abderrahim2168
    @abderrahim2168 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Maaan, I thought I was intelligent, took me 9 years to understand!!

  • @Ketobodybuilderajb
    @Ketobodybuilderajb 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I'm terrified right now of re entering the cycle.

  • @rogerbartlet5720
    @rogerbartlet5720 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    As bad as what Lise is describing, throw a child into the mix. It’s orders of magnitude worse.

    • @adrianlane76
      @adrianlane76 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      😂 I’ll raise you 2 kids and a enabling Mother in law. Triangulation ago-go!!

  • @dnbpimaz2dnbpimaz227
    @dnbpimaz2dnbpimaz227 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    so true!!this is so true. I had a relationship with her for a year and a half and I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with her, however as soon as I finished I missed this vicious cycle and her charms, dangerous, manipulative and super narcissistic! Today she blocked me and I don't think she would ever talk to me again even though I gave my life for her, I did everything for her, we went on vacation together, we lived side by side so many unique moments but none of that matters because her ego is huge

  • @SecretMarsupial
    @SecretMarsupial 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Every time tried to address the obvious cheating the threats to end the relationship started. Or flipping the script: “why dont you trust me?” Is the starting move

  • @michaelking4578
    @michaelking4578 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    This is exactly what happened to me 100%. Now she's probably doing the same thing to someone else. Thankfully it's not me anymore.

  • @mmondt9440
    @mmondt9440 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    She was passionate about literally everything. She always started by saying "we need to talk". She talked a lot on the phone to her sisters or coworkers. For me those moments were bliss. Fortunately I lost my job and she reconnected with an old college boyfriend going through a divorce. I told her, no, go on ahead and chat. I'll send him a fruit basket or something. I'd buy him a beer but he's in AA. And as far as I can tell he's a decent step dad. The divorce was quick and easy. But me losing a job... And oh yeah, not asking permission to do projects around the house, and having no opinion on anything... That was the recipe to freedom.

  • @eisajv
    @eisajv 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thanks for this!

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You're welcome! I hope you found it helpful.

  • @buildfireforchrist
    @buildfireforchrist 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    This was my life till my savings were gone.. and then she found her new soulmate.

  • @RansomeDavis
    @RansomeDavis 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    My narcissist ex did absolutely all those things BUT i was too much a challenge for her, you see im pretty much a sigma male that will notice such behavior very quickly and i confronted her and called her out alot, she really took the wrong road trying to use me as her supply. when we finished within days she was already posting pics of her and her new relationship on social media. but i wasnt too surprised, narcissist are hunting for and dating new supply while still with you , they always need new going on before their time with you is up. needless to say replacing men on average every 3 - 4 months will mean they will have had sex with many, men indeed , EWWW" LISA really knows her stuff, her description of their behavior is spot on.

  • @Rocneymar
    @Rocneymar วันที่ผ่านมา

    The switch flip always were out the blue. This is all true.

  • @NarcissistHex-nf9eq
    @NarcissistHex-nf9eq 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist, Its uncanny how spot on these videos are! Incredible and ever so helpful to help get out of these awful situations asap, I'm sure Johnny Depp is nodding his head in agreement right now lol

  • @CJ_Pharaoh
    @CJ_Pharaoh 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you, Lise 🙏

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You're welcome! I'm so glad you found it helpful!

  • @gozitan5
    @gozitan5 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Right on the money. Thanks Lise.

  • @meteokatar7857
    @meteokatar7857 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Alt yazılılara türkçe eklediğiniz için çok teşekkür ederim, çok zor bir dönemde bana çok yardımcı oldunuz.

  • @jeffreyhill4705
    @jeffreyhill4705 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    She moved into the guest bedroom last Father’s Day. I am staying for the daughters at this point. She loves the house and status. She can be really nice, and each night heads to the guest room and locks the door. I think her goal, was to have me beg. I think I will read a book instead. There is a lot more going on. She put family over morality, and never wanted a family with me.

    • @randallcrawford4141
      @randallcrawford4141 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Wow I too was used but never moved in together Thank You God ... Take this time to pause Think why or how the things in your character was manipulated into letting Her use you to get what she wants , when you get ready to ask her to leave you should consult a lawyer like Rebecca,prepare for the worst and Hope for the best maybe a protective order ?
      My ex wife went so far as plotting to collect on my life insurance policy threaten me not to drop it or else etc .
      They will not leave without starting WW3 in your life ,your Home ... Don't tell Her What you are Going to do document everything argument or threat demand ... That they do evidence for court. Then do not take the bait of arguing with them stay calm nothing to say that they will use against you later...or twist the true... Your life and what you do is no longer include them in conversation or tell them what you are thinking or feeling . Emotionally detach from them they do not have your best interest in what they are doing in your life only what they want...

    • @randallcrawford4141
      @randallcrawford4141 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Still be kind to the children they are being use as you are flowers and things that add value to their lives drawing ,coloring educational ...so they are not involved in the arguments and have a distraction from the chaos they will see how you treat them that you hold nothing against them ... Silence but our actions speak louder than words , God Bless and Protect You 😊

  • @markcombs968
    @markcombs968 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Right on the money!!! Thank you for getting these videos out.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you for watching!

  • @benlager710
    @benlager710 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Need to listen to this daily to remind why I can't be with her!!!!!!

  • @antdiggitychevy3291
    @antdiggitychevy3291 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    8 almost 9 years i was married to one . I didn't realize the hold she had on me until it was time to heal and rebuild myself. My experience was the ex wife loved playing victim and everything was always my fault in some way . Best thing to do is no contact and working on yourself. over time you will see it was nothing you could do . Co parenting is the complicating point I'm at now because my 11 year old son is the one suffering.

  • @michaellogan7507
    @michaellogan7507 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you, Lise.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You're welcome! I'm so glad you found it helpful!

  • @FreeMan-h3f
    @FreeMan-h3f 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Ma’am, you are like a god to me. You saved me from dying. I was in a very miserable state, not even knowing what had happened to me in my relationship, which made me feel like I was in hell. In such a state, I would have died, but you helped me understand my condition, and you gave me hope to live again.
    Thank you so much, ma’am, for saving my life. You gave me a reason to live for my mom, dad, brother, and family.
    Ma’am, a lot of blessings to you."✨
    I am from India a 27yr male.

  • @steenkristensen6351
    @steenkristensen6351 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thanks for your information 🙂👍

  • @penkuland8325
    @penkuland8325 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    That is exactly how it is! Template?

    • @Tokolos
      @Tokolos 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It’s made me check out completely.
      Any semblance of interest is met with suspicion))

  • @constantinhaller4391
    @constantinhaller4391 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    i had this 3 years its like a black hole

  • @ramoneregal8317
    @ramoneregal8317 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Insanity sounds spot on to my X

  • @kidjeff4304
    @kidjeff4304 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Going through a complicated 5 year divorce. This sucks. Thank you for your advice. Why do you choose to assist men in a bad spot?

  • @SMITHJOHNSON-e8g
    @SMITHJOHNSON-e8g 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Great video! Unfortunately, my 2 year relationship ended a month ago. The person I believed was the love of my life chose to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. No matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about him. Despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. He’s always on my mind, and I miss him more than words can express.

    • @SMITHJOHNSON-e8g
      @SMITHJOHNSON-e8g 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you so much for the suggestion; it means more to me than you know.

  • @MonsieurMajestic
    @MonsieurMajestic 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Very helpful thank you 👍🏻

  • @mattb4461
    @mattb4461 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love her shes leaving me, says im a covert narc, maybe i am

  • @mrjboyd45
    @mrjboyd45 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Omg soo true. You nailed it!!! Wow I wish I would of found this over $10,000 ago

  • @ConsiderationFarm
    @ConsiderationFarm 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I am terrified that she will do it to my daughter. I love her with all my heart and give her constant love. I am gonna keep the girl loved and actively explain empathy and help her practice empathy with me.

  • @Arrtists
    @Arrtists 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you 🙏

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You're welcome! I'm glad you found it helpful.

  • @garyharris4366
    @garyharris4366 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    To me, once you are able to see through their projection, that is when you can begin to break the trauma bond. One of the ways that I knew she was a perpetual liar was how she would always rub her nose, which is a sign of deception. Narcissists think they are clever with their manipulation tactics, but they actually are not; they are actually dumb.