Hi! This is something different. It's not music, but I am entering the video essay game now. It's a video about horror stories created by trans people, such as the recently released film I Saw the TV Glow, among others. I hope you enjoy it! I intend to make more of these, and I'm always open to hearing suggestions on what I should talk about next. Tell me your thoughts and please give me feedback so I can make the next one better! (My mic pops a lot, but I couldn't really fix the audio during editing. That's definitely something I'll be working on next time)
Great video! I haven't seen I Saw the TV Glow but I'm fascinated by that specific fear because I relate but also kinda feel the opposite from how you suggest the character from the movie does. I hate stagnation, I want things to change all the time, but identifying *what has to be done* is the struggle. The difference between me before and after starting transition was only the info I had; basically I'd never looked into transness deeply enough to realize it was something that I should have known more about, and once I did I started transition right away. I have a lot of lament over the "lateness" (I started going-on 29 years old, only really been doing estrogen for a bit over a year and I'm freshly 33 now), and regrets and fantasies about what could've been had I started earlier, and I also remember fears when I started that things might not work out; but I felt so much astronomically better just from even deciding to start transition that there was nothing which could hold me back after that point except for my own hangups about making calls, organizing meetings and everything needed to "do the thing properly" so to speak. If I were you though I'd be way more terrified of not starting than I would be of starting "too late." It will always just be even more "too late."
Thank you Trixie!!! Your videos are a big influence on how I write my scripts :D Yeah that's always the thing, you will regret not starting way more than starting too late, and that fear will keep making you start even more late, and there is no escape from that feedback loop outside of just starting it out. Im in South Korea, I know my steps to transition but they just cost so much that it's not feasible to me, to the point where DIY might be a better option for me. (That is a topic for another day). It's a whole different kind of horror to know the process but also knowing that the state will go out of its every way to stop you from pursuing them. (Again, those themes about the House are kind of relevant here)
@@CecilyRenns All I can say on that is, when I was moving constantly last year I had no idea how I was going to get back on HRT until I met a girl who knew how to synthesize estrogen with rubbing alcohol and make it into a skin rub, and a year later I've got nice tits.
thanks so much for the shoutout :) we are currently planning on dropping i went home for valentines on halloween! looking forward to seeing how people react to it :D
Great essay! Good to watch at 2:30 in the morning after having a trans horror IRL experience. Thanks for teaching me about more trans media! Excited to see what you do from here!
@weranoutofgoodusernames3105 thank you!!! Yeah whenever I write analytic content I slip in a bit of my personal life in there... Gonzo journalism yknow hehe
@@CecilyRenns homestuck is just inherently interesting to discuss and analyze, everyone has a different takeaway from it and everyone is mad at andrew hussie for a different reason
I'm definately trans, but I don't think I could ever tell anyone in person. Born male, I always knew I was supposed to be a girl. Coming out as a gay male in highschool didn't help as much as I thought it would. I've realized I was not a gay man as much as I am a trans woman. I've been told stories that even as young as 3 or 4 years old, I would say "When I was a girl/ when I get to be a girl" and tell these wild stories of my fantasies of my other true gender. Even in my head, the voice is female. I just don't feel like I could ever go through with it. I would be so ugly... my parents were always supportive about the gay thing, but the "trans thing" and "drag thing" made them literally sick. When I dressed up for an amateur drag show years ago...I felt such extreme gender euphoria. I only know now that's what it was. My parents are now dead and my MAGA sister is all I have left. Love, A 36 year old thing (this is the first time I've said this in a public forum).
Hey thank you so much! I can't remember exactly but i'm 80% sure I saw your Infinity Train video because I was obsessed with that show a year back. It was really good!!!
@@jasonseacord Book 4 rules! Really good breather/chiller season after 2 and 3. I just wished it didn't end up being the last season, which is just unfortunate. The Korean representation was cool too lol, IIRC all the Korean they spoke was accurate
Hi! This is something different. It's not music, but I am entering the video essay game now. It's a video about horror stories created by trans people, such as the recently released film I Saw the TV Glow, among others. I hope you enjoy it! I intend to make more of these, and I'm always open to hearing suggestions on what I should talk about next. Tell me your thoughts and please give me feedback so I can make the next one better! (My mic pops a lot, but I couldn't really fix the audio during editing. That's definitely something I'll be working on next time)
ive been looking for more queer horror as its my favorite genre so thank you for this!!
@@leitnerpiper69 you're welcome!!! i recommend the other videos in the description too for that
a really well done essay, and on a personal note, never think it's too late, I didn't transition MTF til I was 56, and I have never been happier
thank you so much and you're so fucking awesome for that!!!!!! :D
@@CecilyRenns thank you so much, and you take care
I agree, people should wait u til they’re at least 25 before transitioning
@@jogiff and you are wrong
Great video! I haven't seen I Saw the TV Glow but I'm fascinated by that specific fear because I relate but also kinda feel the opposite from how you suggest the character from the movie does. I hate stagnation, I want things to change all the time, but identifying *what has to be done* is the struggle. The difference between me before and after starting transition was only the info I had; basically I'd never looked into transness deeply enough to realize it was something that I should have known more about, and once I did I started transition right away. I have a lot of lament over the "lateness" (I started going-on 29 years old, only really been doing estrogen for a bit over a year and I'm freshly 33 now), and regrets and fantasies about what could've been had I started earlier, and I also remember fears when I started that things might not work out; but I felt so much astronomically better just from even deciding to start transition that there was nothing which could hold me back after that point except for my own hangups about making calls, organizing meetings and everything needed to "do the thing properly" so to speak. If I were you though I'd be way more terrified of not starting than I would be of starting "too late." It will always just be even more "too late."
Thank you Trixie!!! Your videos are a big influence on how I write my scripts :D
Yeah that's always the thing, you will regret not starting way more than starting too late, and that fear will keep making you start even more late, and there is no escape from that feedback loop outside of just starting it out.
Im in South Korea, I know my steps to transition but they just cost so much that it's not feasible to me, to the point where DIY might be a better option for me. (That is a topic for another day). It's a whole different kind of horror to know the process but also knowing that the state will go out of its every way to stop you from pursuing them. (Again, those themes about the House are kind of relevant here)
@@CecilyRenns All I can say on that is, when I was moving constantly last year I had no idea how I was going to get back on HRT until I met a girl who knew how to synthesize estrogen with rubbing alcohol and make it into a skin rub, and a year later I've got nice tits.
thanks so much for the shoutout :) we are currently planning on dropping i went home for valentines on halloween! looking forward to seeing how people react to it :D
Great essay! Good to watch at 2:30 in the morning after having a trans horror IRL experience. Thanks for teaching me about more trans media! Excited to see what you do from here!
i found your channel through this, and id say it was a great essay! hope to see more, and in the mean time, ill check out ur tunes ^^
thank you so much! :D
gettem cec!! been seeing u talk abt this on twitter for a while and been excited to see it come to fruition :D
don't worry at all about this being "too heavy," it had the right amount of personal insight and engagement with the horror media!!
@weranoutofgoodusernames3105 thank you!!! Yeah whenever I write analytic content I slip in a bit of my personal life in there... Gonzo journalism yknow hehe
amazing video with very good thoughts! the emphasis on solidarity is much needed
thank you so much! it is so important and especially now more than ever before
Make more video essays please!
I know what you're thinking and yes I should probably make one about Homestuck I'm just scared of it...
@@CecilyRenns homestuck is just inherently interesting to discuss and analyze, everyone has a different takeaway from it and everyone is mad at andrew hussie for a different reason
흥미로운 얘기네요 아예 몰랐던 쪽의 이야기...
감사합니다 한국어 자막도 달아야할까 생각나네요...
I'm definately trans, but I don't think I could ever tell anyone in person. Born male, I always knew I was supposed to be a girl. Coming out as a gay male in highschool didn't help as much as I thought it would. I've realized I was not a gay man as much as I am a trans woman. I've been told stories that even as young as 3 or 4 years old, I would say "When I was a girl/ when I get to be a girl" and tell these wild stories of my fantasies of my other true gender. Even in my head, the voice is female. I just don't feel like I could ever go through with it. I would be so ugly... my parents were always supportive about the gay thing, but the "trans thing" and "drag thing" made them literally sick. When I dressed up for an amateur drag show years ago...I felt such extreme gender euphoria. I only know now that's what it was. My parents are now dead and my MAGA sister is all I have left.
Love,
A 36 year old thing
(this is the first time I've said this in a public forum).
It's never too late! I promise you it's always worth it, you can find joy and feel proud and feel loved in yourself.
There is still time 🩷
I just watched this movie and it was really interesting hearing what you had to say about it.
Hey thank you so much! I can't remember exactly but i'm 80% sure I saw your Infinity Train video because I was obsessed with that show a year back. It was really good!!!
@@CecilyRennsoh wow! Thank you! Yes I did an Infinity train video.
@@CecilyRennsoh actually mind if I ask you what you think of the fourth season of Infinity Train since its about Korean punk rockers (sort of).
@@jasonseacord Book 4 rules! Really good breather/chiller season after 2 and 3. I just wished it didn't end up being the last season, which is just unfortunate. The Korean representation was cool too lol, IIRC all the Korean they spoke was accurate
I loved this video! Im bisexual and a demi girl who uses they/ them and she/ her pronouns, i just recently started to face my gender identify
@saw_luver hell yeah good luck!!!!!!! you got this :D
@CecilyRenns thank you so much :P
Thank you so much! :D
Ohnononononononono vidyaessaycacas...
This video is a bit of a horror story. In a good way.
my life is like a horror movie in a way!