Rolando Cueva | no our religion is about peace. Our goal in life isn’t to work for our husbands. Please educate yourself before you you comment something disrespectful. Have a wonderful day love ❤️
You are absolutely right! He has to contribute to your happiness, in many ways, and should be ONE of the main sources of your happiness, but nothing replaces God. I love Phil. 2, especially the first half describing Jesus selfless sacrifice, but my fav verse for relationships is Phil. 2: 3. I'm still single and I used it on my roommate, and he transformed from a very selfish self-centered person to being much more inclusive. Of course, all the time being prayerful as well.
I just want to point out that being independent, doesn't necessarily meen that you are selfish and only focussed on yourself. It means being able to look after youself. That's not the same as being selffocussed
Before I got married,years before, I was kinda obsessed with marriage, learning how to be a good wife and I listened to so many sermons and I read a lot of christian books. My happiness was based on the person that would be my husband. And I got married,I have the most loving husband, and now I understand that he's not the source of my happiness. I think that even cristian books can mess you up, because you expect your husband to be the perfect christian and if he's not, you start comparing him with what you read. It's really a tricky thing to do, so be careful.
@@blessedbythebest1003 no one no matter your gender should be the sole course of your happiness. It’s an internal thing not something you can get externally
my husband will be doing 50/50 of house keeping. I want children, so it’ll be 50/50 taking care of them as well. He can work, but I’ll be working too. I’ll be a lawyer, and I won’t be some stay at home mom. If that’s right for you, to stay home and take care of the kids and house, then great. But for me, I’ll be a strong, independent, woman who loves her husband, kids, AND work. ✨
Men need to help out with the household stuff too btw!!!!! Women work these days just like men!!!!! Its a team effort as u said. ;) oh and since when girls dream so hard on getting married?! Tell girls have bigger dream than marriage. Marriage YES but have career aspirations!
Just like not ALL woman have to dream of marriage, not ALL women have to dream of career aspirations. Some women want to be wives and mothers and there's nothing wrong with that. Take your own advice.
@Judihatemmoharram Judihatemmoharram of course I could have a daughter grow up to be a career woman.... I'm quite aware of the current year. Edit: i read that back and it reads quite sharp but I don't intend to come across as rude ❤️
nope. I'm Israeli, she does not belong here. she belongs to the 50s p.s., she's Christian, so maybe here in Israel she'll be safe, but in countries like Iran being Christian is a death wish.
Pretty much every Christian book or source on marriage/relationships say that we shouldn't look to one person to fulfil us, that only God can fulfil us but...if you look at the creation story, the Garden of Eden. Everything was perfect. And yet God doesn't expect Adam's relationship with Himself to be sufficient, he sees that something is lacking, even though no sin had entered the world at that time and everything was beautiful and you would expect that everything, including man and God, to be in perfect unison. Surely if there was ever a time when a person didn't need anyone or anything other than God, it was in the Garden of Eden? And yet with just Adam, things weren't complete. I think that says a lot. I get that people fail and human relationships aren't perfect and that they let us down sometimes. I get that God fulfils us but I think He also created us for relationships, and acknowledging that is OK and shouldn't be frowned on. You could be living on a tropical island and living in deep dependence and communion with God, but if you were all alone, you would still be lonely.
You should know that spiritual abuse happens and you need to make sure you know the person you are marrying can and could be an abuser in disguise. The number one time domestic violence happens is on the wedding night! Domestic Violence includes physical, emotional, psychological, verbal and SPIRITUAL abuse. There are men and women who use scripture, coercion and control and demanding to abuse the spouse or children. These are all great points, but the 4th point need to be careful of men who use the Bible to demand control from their wife. Please understand Boundaries are important. Know your love languages and if you have fears of getting married, but can’t put your finger on it, the Holy Spirit is telling you something. Please be careful of abuse. You never think it can happen to you, but it could. Lord willing it doesn’t and I want to make sure women and young ladies realize that there are men in the church, who use abuse in a spiritual way. Be careful.
I want to encourage all of you not just to "be more Godly," but to ask the Holy Spirit to work in you! We CANNOT make ourselves more like God on our own strength--in fact, that pride comes before the fall. We can ONNLLLYYY be "better" through His power. I love these women's call to be counter-cultural, but let's make sure we're not just submitting to worldly Christian culture but submitting to the power of the Lord that lives inside us! Rely on Him. :)
Isabelle Mccauley thank you girl 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I love this sister and a lot of what she says hits home but when she talked about striving to serve your spouse and so on my fear is that we get in that mentality and forget to seek God first and let him lead us into those things which he will if we are surrendered to his will! ❤️
I got married only last year and I really find so many of your points in my marriage. Especially what you said about being competitive instead of a team. I also found that the harsh way in which I often teat myself and how I expect so much of myself I now project onto my husband as well which is really not fair and godlike. I pray that god helps me to become a better wife. Thank god god's good ;)
amoral combat I think that where this person is coming from is that your partner is not a complete source of happiness, and you shouldn’t expect everything to be insanely happy. But I agree that when you marry someone, you should marry someone when the love you have is ...right? Like, you love them romantically but you are also friends, you know? Relationships do take work, and they take two sides of the coin to work.
@@andreabritton7415 no it's not wrong to love someone, people can make each other happy but don't let your happiness depend on that person alone. What if things aren't so well between you and them, would you go to someone else to be happy? I wouldn't, I took the time to find things that can make me laugh or smile.
I agree about selflessness and sacrificial hearts... but, domestic skills? I know they would help, but I think guys should not just help but really do part of housework! And if the husband is better at cooking it can be his job! I come from Asia, I know that would be very difficult to be true in my future marriage if I marry a fellow Korean... but I don't think women should take the whole responsibility of house management, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, while giving up her career. In my country, it's almost impossible to do both... MEN SHOULD NOT JUST HELP BUT BE PART OF HOUSEWORK!
The point I'm trying to make is, most women don't check this out in a man before they say YES, I Do. So u expect ur guy who have always believed he only needs to provide for the house to now automatically understands he needs to do house chores too. If you want that in him, you should make that your criteria for choosing a husband in the first place.
So are you going to fix the roof or faucet? Hook up a light fixture? Fix lawnmower? Fix the car to save $$$ Do repairs? Do any renovations? What about tools ? Do you know how to use any? Most men do and are expected to in "holy matrimony".
Such great advice, until we hit the speed bumps of real life often our attitude is we think we 'know it all'. I'd add 'expectations' as another key issue in relationships. Communication is so vital, never think "I'll tell him/her about this issue someday" or "I'll fix this in their life once we're married", instead talk about the issues openly as they surface along the journey and commit to dealing with your own issues rather than trying to 'fix' your spouse's struggles. Remember you owe it to your spouse and others to deal with your own plank before you tackle the speck! (Matt 7:1-5) Great vid thanks GD!
Russell Hamlet amen amen amen so true! This is def a vital great important key to know and remember!!! I had this problem too and I unfortunately learned the hard way , but we serve an Awesome God and I'm so blessed. He's so faithful to His promises and I'm so grateful that He's still keeping me and most importantly keeping me from my(inner wicked self lol) Praises Go all To Him and my wonderful amazing husband!
Thanks for the encouragement and confirmation Jamie! You are 100% correct, we do serve an awesome God, one that knows us intimately, even our deepest darkest struggles, and he loves us anyway - Jesus is proof of that! All glory to him, He is worthy to be praised!
i am 18 and not married but my dad is a pastor, so growing up i knew all those things to look out for. And for me it still was heard to not think my husband would be the one to make me feel fulfilled. but now i know by praying a LOT, that my husband is going to be a gift from the Lord, and seeing his service, detication, light and love to the Lord is going to make me happy and love the Lord for blessing me with that Man. And know that my husband will point me back to the Lord if i ever stray.
Throughout college I went through a formation program that strove to teach & encourage how to live a radical christian lifestyle, both in college and as a post-grad. Among the many things I was taught & encouraged to grow in, all 6 if your points were mentioned at somepoint throughout my time in the program (probably in a discernment talk). While I greatly appreciated the fruits of this program, I often felt sad for the numerous other young men & women who didn't have the opportunity to hear the same message and coming across your channel today just gave me so much encouragement and hope. Keep it up!!!
ive been through an abusive relationship that lasted for 3 years and its only been 7 months since i left it, and this allowed me to break free from the sin cycle and know God more. This video is a reminder for me:) thank you.
Amber Dennis when I turned 21 I thought I was never going to find happiness but little did I know God had a plan. He knew the desire in my heart to share my life with someone and within 3 months I was found by an amazing man who has been my husband now for over 3 years. He has made me so happy and to top it we just found out were expecting our first child. I advice you to tell your Father God your desire for marriage and prepare yourself mentally, spiritually, etc. Focusing on finding a husband will never bring him about God wants your focus first. He already knows your desire and when he sees you're ready he will surprise you. God bless you and I wish you the best
Helpful tips that were unexpected but I can really agree with! Especially Number 3, I see my sister-in-law, she is younger than me, but she looks so mature and responsible. Yes she has more responsibility, her husband's family (my family) and her baby... but that does not make her suddenly mature, she has had that patient, wise character all the time... I really need to work on it, because one day, when I get married there will be so much more responsibilities... new house, new roles, etc.
Could you share your pre marriage life. You guys talk a lot about single advice and life and about marriage but could you make a video about your boyfriend experience and tips please! Love you girls❤️
Kate davies in the Bible you were single until you were married, so your life before marriage is your single life. Then after you get married you aren't single, so you should do the same things up until your married.
I found Jesus around 15 by 18 I left, later that year I had my first child and started to raise him as a single parent at 2 I met my husband I had my daughter when my son was 5 and I was 24 last year we got married I was 26 it has been so hard and up to march this year I haven't enjoyed my marriage but I started to go back to church and reading my bible daily. The last 2 months my marriage has been great we have really bonded and I feel like we are dating again. I'm lucky he didn't always but he does help out alot round the house yesterday while me and our youngest was at church he tidyed and did a bunch of laundry. Even though it's just me and the little going to church I know he listens to what I've told him about what has gone on in church today or the pod casts that are on in the background.
Yes yes yes! I've been married 3 years now and thankfully the things I fall short in, my husband balances out very well. But I would've definitely benefited from knowing more domestic skills and managing money going into marriage rather than my husband teaching me as we go along. Another thing would be to talk to your fiancé before you get married about expectations of household duties and either do a chore rotation or just over communicate on what you'd like each other to do. Do NOT expect them to just do the dishes without asking- that would've saved a lot of frustration and arguments 😂
But unity doesn't have to mean to give up your independence but more make compromises in my opinion. You can be independent and selfless at the same time! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, we always have to work on our selflessness anyways.
I have to admit that I've heard youtubers talking about you and that discauraged me to come to your channel, but then this video was in my recomendations and I'm really glad I gave it a chance, you're an amazing person, hope you have a nice day and a nice life.
It's seems like the people who offended at this video are not actually offended at THIS video. That is, they are offended at what they THINK these ladies are saying, not at what these ladies are actually saying. It also kind of seems like those same offended people came into this video expecting to be offended. But, you ladies keep doing what you're doing! What you said in this video is 100% correct!
I wish you girls were around before I got married. My wife went to church and she left me for some other guy from church when I was in the hospital She and the guy came up to the hospital one day and said Guess what I'm leaving you for Michael. Because you being in the hospital is making me unhappy Them she left with the church member . After the divorce she married the guy. Now she is happy with him till he has to go to the hospital.
I honestly thought that this was a meme video, but no. These ladies are serious as a heart attack. They need to read the Bible. I don't know if Yahweh is laughing or crying at this video.
You point on selflessness made me think of this question- How do you cultivate a selfless and others minded heart without becoming a pushover or passive and voiceless?
These things are so true! I have been married almost 4 years now and got married when I was 18 years old. These things are so hard to figure out after your married, even if you have been told these things before marriage it's is different living them.
Isn't it amazing how God uses marriage and motherhood to expose the sin/weaknesses in our hearts? He doesn't leave us as we are but is graciously sanctifying and refining us. If we embrace those opportunities to be molded and grow we can learn so much! ❤️
I get that God is the only one who can fulfill me, but I feel like since I don't have a boyfriend and no one asks me out that something is wrong with me. I feel unwanted and disgusting, do you have any tips for that?
Kayli K hey I completely understand what you're going through about the guy situtation. There have been days where's I felt terrible about myself. How I dealt with it was just focusing on the relationships that God has already blessed me with such as family and friends. Another major thing that has helped is just looking in the mirror saying nice things about myself. Remember God made us all beautiful and he wants us to love ourselves just as much as he loves us.
Everything is in the Lord's time and in His way and according to His will. For now, just follow God and seek the kingdom and a boy will come along when you least expect it. God should have the first place in our hearts always and just pray for your future husband from a young age.
I've encountered the same thing. I honestly think that this is our Father protecting us. Hopefully this makes sense but it's almost like He's "blinded" people to me because I'm looking to them for satisfaction and purpose. Its actually another way of showing His goodness and grace because it drives us to Him. No man or woman will ever fulfill us or always be there. Earthly relationships are fleeting. Only our union with the Lord will last. Now I'm thankful for this protection because now that I'm growing in the Lord I'm encountering more men that are sold out for God, and a godly character is the most attractive thing ever. I honestly think that if someone after God's heart were to notice me and pursue me, I'd fall head over heels straight away, because the flesh is flaky and doesn't think straight LOL. God has created a mate specifically for you that He will reveal in His time. We don't want to settle for the first guy that gives us attention, but we want God's BEST right? He has a best for you. I hope this made sense. It's late and I'm sleepy, so this may be an incoherent jumble LOL
I know that can be really hard...when I was in high school I was never the girl that got asked out all the time. But now I'm married and so happy and I'm so glad that I didn't just date a lot of people when I was in school. God has such a great plan for you!! He will lead your life perfectly! 💗 - Est X
I think it's a natural desire to want a man to love you. After all God did design for man to have a wife.. But then again, we should be completely satisfied with just God's love, but trust me I've struggled with this too and it makes me feel better that someone else has felt that way as well.
Thank you for this, i was struggling feeling alone at 27. This made me feel that i had to prepare and use this time to invest on learning more before actually date again.
Liza David I disagree. Saying what you've said above only brings peer pressure for teenagers who are still getting to know God and that are still developing their relationships with God. To the teenagers out there who think I need to find my husband or wife now don't rush. I'm nearly 28, and I have been engaged to my future husband for nearly 3 years. You have so much ahead of you. God has a plan for you. Trust in Him. Don't rush into big decisions now, just enjoy God's purposes for you.
Lily, let me tell you something just because you're 28 and engaged now doesn't mean young girls can't start thinking of marriage and preparing for it. I know when I was 15, I was totally in love with my now fiance. Never did I think I would marry him but even then I still thought of myself as a girl who wanted to be ready to know what to look for in a husband for when the time came. It does not mean you're rushing into something. Because in life we prepare for a lot of things. School, jobs, when you buy a house, get a car, get your first salary, etc but NEVER especially in this generation...we prepare for marriage. We let everyone dictate our lives with what they say about not rushing and instead study, get a job, get money then you get married. Turns out that day will never come because a job, and money aren't permanent. You can quit, get fired, lose and gain money, buy a new house, sell it, get evicted, etc. But a marriage. That's forever. That's why you see girls crying over boys even at your age. They never really knew what to expect, how to prepare for the things are more important in life. And btw. even after marriage there's a lot of people (20+, 30+, 40+) that are still getting to know God. Some don't even know their purpose in life yet and the age don't matter. Because 2 is better than 1 and 3 is even better. The third person would be Jesus, that guides them. I'm getting married at 19 and I'm PROUD to tell the world. I know that's what God intended my life to be. Young marriage is awesome. I encourage all girls of ANY age to prepare yourselves. Because money, a job, or school don't make up a wife. That's Jesus. Only Him.
stanzygarcia I agree 100%! thanks for sharing your story it really encouraged me:) congratulations I am so happy for you! God bless you, your fiance and your marriage♥can you tell me your "love story"? ;) ♥
Thank you for this video! Listen up, Ladies! If any video is important for newly married or even dating....this info is soooooooooooo important. Coming from a girl who has been married once!
ok even as an equalist, the one about being too independent does make sense. if you view ur partner as a competitor, marriage won’t work. u do have to work together
That’s a very culture influenced idea. If you’ve ever read proverbs 31 you’ll see that the wife is both a care take of her family and a business women. She is multifaceted. But the church lets culture influence them too much sometimes
Because the man is out working to support the family financially. So the women takes care of the home. That's the partnership. You're welcome for explaining.
oh my gosh thank you so much for your Christian videos I'm so happy I found you! it's so encoraging to see a TH-camr giving golden advice for so many Christian girls out there that can identify 💖💖💖
I'm a Muslim, and I loved and agreed with every single tip. Thanks for these awesome tips, cuz honestly I've been thinking about most these things, and this helps a lot.
You are so right. When I first was married, I had to set aside my "independent and self focused" thinking. Marriage is about compromise, being a team, and working together. If you keep focusing on yourself (and this applies to both parties), marriage will be very challenging.
i love this channel as it is so helpful and answers all my questions! i just wish it was also in podcast form as i could listen to it when traveling when there is no wifi
I think you so much for speaking the truth. There are not many videos out here explaining the truth of marriage. Everyone likes to paint it into a fairytale and it can’t be a fairytale or so many people wouldn’t be divorced. So I think you for setting realistic expectations because when I hear your videos I know I will be OK.
hi, I am not a Christian Girl but I strongly agree with what you say, and I would like to add that these points are for each girl despite of here religion. we are all the same from One source (GOD, ALLAH, JESUS, BUDHA...ect) just different names, we share the same hummanity. I really enjoyed watching your video may GOD bless you and give you a happy wonderful marriage life full of love and harmony. Reham
Thank you for this video, im getting married next summer, ive only just come to God 3 years ago, im a new Christian so im learning both. God bless you sister in Christ
Helpful video. It’s actually astonishing that so many people are bashing this video. I can’t believe being selfish, only being in something if it’s filling to you, and putting so much weight on someone else to make you happy is celebrated. No wonder so many people get divorced 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for this video. The comment section is very toxic, but I appreciate your videos. They are biblical truths to your videos which is what we as Christians need. We live in the world, but are not of the world. Criticism is bound to be around when we challenge people’s sinful worldly view, when we are supposed to have a biblical worldview. Thank you!
All adults should have domestic skills, not just married women.
All adults should have accountability, not just men.
@@BalboaBaggins What is that supposed to mean?
@@BalboaBaggins All people do.
??????????????????
@@BalboaBaggins pff
Women have
currently a bored Muslim girl watching this
AYE SAME🙌
Yo me too
I bet you agree with everything she says lol
@@Rolando_Cueva I am a muslim and no we don't :) stop hating
Islam is equality!
Rolando Cueva | no our religion is about peace. Our goal in life isn’t to work for our husbands. Please educate yourself before you you comment something disrespectful. Have a wonderful day love ❤️
You can still be strong and independent and be selfless, I don't know how that line got blurred.
Good
Correct
I agree with the part saying that your husband is NOT the main source of happiness/satisfaction. Yes, he is ONE of the reasons!! Not the only source
You are absolutely right! He has to contribute to your happiness, in many ways, and should be ONE of the main sources of your happiness, but nothing replaces God. I love Phil. 2, especially the first half describing Jesus selfless sacrifice, but my fav verse for relationships is Phil. 2: 3. I'm still single and I used it on my roommate, and he transformed from a very selfish self-centered person to being much more inclusive. Of course, all the time being prayerful as well.
I just want to point out that being independent, doesn't necessarily meen that you are selfish and only focussed on yourself. It means being able to look after youself. That's not the same as being selffocussed
I'm just replying so you can see how much likes you got. How did no one reply for 5 years?
@@afellowpotato 😅😅
🥔 🥔
As a married woman, she’s wrong af
😂😂😂😂
You're lucky there's no dislike button anymore.
I wish it was still there
return youtube dislikes back - it's an add-on that you can download install on basically any browser
Before I got married,years before, I was kinda obsessed with marriage, learning how to be a good wife and I listened to so many sermons and I read a lot of christian books. My happiness was based on the person that would be my husband. And I got married,I have the most loving husband, and now I understand that he's not the source of my happiness. I think that even cristian books can mess you up, because you expect your husband to be the perfect christian and if he's not, you start comparing him with what you read. It's really a tricky thing to do, so be careful.
silvia magda
Thanks for the warning/advice.
As a single woman I'm intrigued of you ladies saying the man you marry is not the "source of your happiness" wowwww....thanks for the heads up.
Yes, true!
.-.
@@blessedbythebest1003 no one no matter your gender should be the sole course of your happiness. It’s an internal thing not something you can get externally
my husband will be doing 50/50 of house keeping. I want children, so it’ll be 50/50 taking care of them as well. He can work, but I’ll be working too. I’ll be a lawyer, and I won’t be some stay at home mom. If that’s right for you, to stay home and take care of the kids and house, then great. But for me, I’ll be a strong, independent, woman who loves her husband, kids, AND work. ✨
Both working parents will only create unloved children when you both did it starting from when they're still so young. One got to stay at home.
@@salsabilaf.372 that's your opinion
Men need to help out with the household stuff too btw!!!!! Women work these days just like men!!!!! Its a team effort as u said. ;) oh and since when girls dream so hard on getting married?! Tell girls have bigger dream than marriage. Marriage YES but have career aspirations!
Gabrielle Angel-Valentine my ‘career’ aspirations are to be the best stay at home mum I can be ❤️
Just like not ALL woman have to dream of marriage, not ALL women have to dream of career aspirations. Some women want to be wives and mothers and there's nothing wrong with that. Take your own advice.
@Judihatemmoharram Judihatemmoharram of course I could have a daughter grow up to be a career woman.... I'm quite aware of the current year.
Edit: i read that back and it reads quite sharp but I don't intend to come across as rude ❤️
@@toni5543 Lord bless you and your family!
Much Respect and ❤️ in the SPIRIT!
@@НатанаилСталев-ф2р thank you! Hope you are well ❤️
You fit in the middle east perfectly
Even in Israel we have more advanced gender roles than this, and we're in the Middle of the Holy land.
I'm from iran and believe me when i say She doesn't.
lol as an Egyptian I agree with Jasmine she wouldn't at ALL
Christianity still exists in America, contrary to popular belief Gina
nope. I'm Israeli, she does not belong here. she belongs to the 50s
p.s., she's Christian, so maybe here in Israel she'll be safe, but in countries like Iran being Christian is a death wish.
not gonna lie i was with her until she was like dOmEstIc skiLLz
foreal🥂
Is it bad to have domestic skills? That's honestly something everyone should have!
Paige Mitchell no it’s great and a nice thing to have but you shouldn’t HAVE to do anything unless you want to
@@paigemitchell7066 yes but she’s acting like she’s her husbands slave
@@hadley20 how so being a house wife is a slave🤔
Pretty much every Christian book or source on marriage/relationships say that we shouldn't look to one person to fulfil us, that only God can fulfil us but...if you look at the creation story, the Garden of Eden. Everything was perfect. And yet God doesn't expect Adam's relationship with Himself to be sufficient, he sees that something is lacking, even though no sin had entered the world at that time and everything was beautiful and you would expect that everything, including man and God, to be in perfect unison. Surely if there was ever a time when a person didn't need anyone or anything other than God, it was in the Garden of Eden? And yet with just Adam, things weren't complete. I think that says a lot.
I get that people fail and human relationships aren't perfect and that they let us down sometimes. I get that God fulfils us but I think He also created us for relationships, and acknowledging that is OK and shouldn't be frowned on. You could be living on a tropical island and living in deep dependence and communion with God, but if you were all alone, you would still be lonely.
sawyerlovesfreckles I agree.
GREAT POINT
Yes,but when the woman comes into place to fulfill his so called loneliness,look what happens.
Love this!!
Loved this! Perfect explanation!
Domestic skills😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 happy 1950 everyone
You should know that spiritual abuse happens and you need to make sure you know the person you are marrying can and could be an abuser in disguise. The number one time domestic violence happens is on the wedding night! Domestic Violence includes physical, emotional, psychological, verbal and SPIRITUAL abuse. There are men and women who use scripture, coercion and control and demanding to abuse the spouse or children. These are all great points, but the 4th point need to be careful of men who use the Bible to demand control from their wife. Please understand Boundaries are important. Know your love languages and if you have fears of getting married, but can’t put your finger on it, the Holy Spirit is telling you something. Please be careful of abuse. You never think it can happen to you, but it could. Lord willing it doesn’t and I want to make sure women and young ladies realize that there are men in the church, who use abuse in a spiritual way. Be careful.
I feel fulfilled when I cuddle kittens.
I want to encourage all of you not just to "be more Godly," but to ask the Holy Spirit to work in you! We CANNOT make ourselves more like God on our own strength--in fact, that pride comes before the fall. We can ONNLLLYYY be "better" through His power. I love these women's call to be counter-cultural, but let's make sure we're not just submitting to worldly Christian culture but submitting to the power of the Lord that lives inside us! Rely on Him. :)
Isabelle Mccauley thank you girl 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I love this sister and a lot of what she says hits home but when she talked about striving to serve your spouse and so on my fear is that we get in that mentality and forget to seek God first and let him lead us into those things which he will if we are surrendered to his will! ❤️
“God is the only source of lasting fulfillment”
Girl has never had a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a bottle of wine, or slept with her *husband*
I got married only last year and I really find so many of your points in my marriage. Especially what you said about being competitive instead of a team. I also found that the harsh way in which I often teat myself and how I expect so much of myself I now project onto my husband as well which is really not fair and godlike. I pray that god helps me to become a better wife. Thank god god's good ;)
Loene May God help you. Thanks for sharing
Ana Vigil I'm pretty sure god doesn't care about how you type lol
Ana Vigil lol
Loene hi
“Your husband isn’t the answer to your happiness”
PREACHHHH
I'm an atheist and I think this is pretty solid advice, selflessness and not making your partner your source of happiness especially!
I know right its completely wrong to love someone
amoral combat I think that where this person is coming from is that your partner is not a complete source of happiness, and you shouldn’t expect everything to be insanely happy. But I agree that when you marry someone, you should marry someone when the love you have is ...right? Like, you love them romantically but you are also friends, you know? Relationships do take work, and they take two sides of the coin to work.
@@andreabritton7415 no it's not wrong to love someone, people can make each other happy but don't let your happiness depend on that person alone. What if things aren't so well between you and them, would you go to someone else to be happy? I wouldn't, I took the time to find things that can make me laugh or smile.
I agree about selflessness and sacrificial hearts... but, domestic skills? I know they would help, but I think guys should not just help but really do part of housework! And if the husband is better at cooking it can be his job! I come from Asia, I know that would be very difficult to be true in my future marriage if I marry a fellow Korean... but I don't think women should take the whole responsibility of house management, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, while giving up her career. In my country, it's almost impossible to do both... MEN SHOULD NOT JUST HELP BUT BE PART OF HOUSEWORK!
annabelle7123 yes exactly what i believe :)
YES
The point I'm trying to make is, most women don't check this out in a man before they say YES, I Do. So u expect ur guy who have always believed he only needs to provide for the house to now automatically understands he needs to do house chores too. If you want that in him, you should make that your criteria for choosing a husband in the first place.
So are you going to fix the roof or faucet? Hook up a light fixture? Fix lawnmower? Fix the car to save $$$ Do repairs? Do any renovations? What about tools ? Do you know how to use any? Most men do and are expected to in "holy matrimony".
Just being is not a sin.... You may have internalized that you are wrong and need to try to work constantly to fix it but don't pass it on....
Bless you for leaving the comment section open. So many people would close the discussion to defeat trolls.
Such great advice, until we hit the speed bumps of real life often our attitude is we think we 'know it all'. I'd add 'expectations' as another key issue in relationships. Communication is so vital, never think "I'll tell him/her about this issue someday" or "I'll fix this in their life once we're married", instead talk about the issues openly as they surface along the journey and commit to dealing with your own issues rather than trying to 'fix' your spouse's struggles. Remember you owe it to your spouse and others to deal with your own plank before you tackle the speck! (Matt 7:1-5) Great vid thanks GD!
Russell Hamlet amen amen amen so true! This is def a vital great important key to know and remember!!! I had this problem too and I unfortunately learned the hard way , but we serve an Awesome God and I'm so blessed. He's so faithful to His promises and I'm so grateful that He's still keeping me and most importantly keeping me from my(inner wicked self lol) Praises Go all To Him and my wonderful amazing husband!
Thanks for the encouragement and confirmation Jamie! You are 100% correct, we do serve an awesome God, one that knows us intimately, even our deepest darkest struggles, and he loves us anyway - Jesus is proof of that! All glory to him, He is worthy to be praised!
Russell Hamlet amen to the fullest!!! I thank God for His merciful And unconditional Love daily❤️🙏🏽
Can you please do a video on domestic skills/managing your time/running efficiently?! I really need this!!
Thank you! These comments are so mean. “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first.” John 15:18 🙏🏻keep going
Love how most ppl in the comments don't even like them
Great video ❤️ the one I loved the most is “working on yourself and your relationship with with others” very important.
So Glad I found your channel. Love everything you are sharing and doing.
no
@@airqx2808 yes
@@rachelnkemokoro2004_ well actually, no
i am 18 and not married but my dad is a pastor, so growing up i knew all those things to look out for. And for me it still was heard to not think my husband would be the one to make me feel fulfilled. but now i know by praying a LOT, that my husband is going to be a gift from the Lord, and seeing his service, detication, light and love to the Lord is going to make me happy and love the Lord for blessing me with that Man. And know that my husband will point me back to the Lord if i ever stray.
Already loving this channel! Thank you! God bless youu!
Throughout college I went through a formation program that strove to teach & encourage how to live a radical christian lifestyle, both in college and as a post-grad. Among the many things I was taught & encouraged to grow in, all 6 if your points were mentioned at somepoint throughout my time in the program (probably in a discernment talk). While I greatly appreciated the fruits of this program, I often felt sad for the numerous other young men & women who didn't have the opportunity to hear the same message and coming across your channel today just gave me so much encouragement and hope. Keep it up!!!
Praying for your happy life and more happier life every day!!
Oh my gosh, how have I never found your channel before?! I'm going to binge watch all your videos right now
"aLL tHe cHriSTiAn ReCOuRCeS" girl i-
Oh my jesus ❤ thank you! Please keep making and uploading videos!
So encouraged! Thank you 😍 I'm watching this 5 days before my Wedding day and I wish I watched a year ago Lols
ive been through an abusive relationship that lasted for 3 years and its only been 7 months since i left it, and this allowed me to break free from the sin cycle and know God more. This video is a reminder for me:) thank you.
These tips were so helpful! I got married 7 months ago and it is super important to make sure that you are still Christ focused! Loved this 💗 - Est X
Exactly! It's perfect!!! So informative for i'm still in my preparation season!!
Mat & Est I am 22 and hope I am not old when I walk down the aisle
Amber Dennis It's better than being married to the wrong person. That is the worst thing in the world.
Amber Dennis when I turned 21 I thought I was never going to find happiness but little did I know God had a plan. He knew the desire in my heart to share my life with someone and within 3 months I was found by an amazing man who has been my husband now for over 3 years. He has made me so happy and to top it we just found out were expecting our first child. I advice you to tell your Father God your desire for marriage and prepare yourself mentally, spiritually, etc. Focusing on finding a husband will never bring him about God wants your focus first. He already knows your desire and when he sees you're ready he will surprise you. God bless you and I wish you the best
Yeah, you just gotta get down on your knees and please jeesus. You gotta make him fulfilled, then he'll fill you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Helpful tips that were unexpected but I can really agree with! Especially Number 3, I see my sister-in-law, she is younger than me, but she looks so mature and responsible. Yes she has more responsibility, her husband's family (my family) and her baby... but that does not make her suddenly mature, she has had that patient, wise character all the time... I really need to work on it, because one day, when I get married there will be so much more responsibilities... new house, new roles, etc.
Could you share your pre marriage life. You guys talk a lot about single advice and life and about marriage but could you make a video about your boyfriend experience and tips please! Love you girls❤️
YES! i agree.
Kate davies in the Bible you were single until you were married, so your life before marriage is your single life. Then after you get married you aren't single, so you should do the same things up until your married.
yes thats my request too :D
Girl Defined I LOVE YOU !!!!
I am only a first born so I can not offer much advice
I found Jesus around 15 by 18 I left, later that year I had my first child and started to raise him as a single parent at 2 I met my husband I had my daughter when my son was 5 and I was 24 last year we got married I was 26 it has been so hard and up to march this year I haven't enjoyed my marriage but I started to go back to church and reading my bible daily. The last 2 months my marriage has been great we have really bonded and I feel like we are dating again. I'm lucky he didn't always but he does help out alot round the house yesterday while me and our youngest was at church he tidyed and did a bunch of laundry. Even though it's just me and the little going to church I know he listens to what I've told him about what has gone on in church today or the pod casts that are on in the background.
I needed this message and reminder!! Thank you!
I love all these tips for us single girls!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Love your channel! C
Yes yes yes! I've been married 3 years now and thankfully the things I fall short in, my husband balances out very well. But I would've definitely benefited from knowing more domestic skills and managing money going into marriage rather than my husband teaching me as we go along. Another thing would be to talk to your fiancé before you get married about expectations of household duties and either do a chore rotation or just over communicate on what you'd like each other to do. Do NOT expect them to just do the dishes without asking- that would've saved a lot of frustration and arguments 😂
But unity doesn't have to mean to give up your independence but more make compromises in my opinion. You can be independent and selfless at the same time! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, we always have to work on our selflessness anyways.
theshiputopia I agree
She is definitely on POINT!! This needs to go viral!!
no
Very true words!
It'll take a long time to become a couple. W e're married for 27 years. Still learning...
Blessings from Germany
I have to admit that I've heard youtubers talking about you and that discauraged me to come to your channel, but then this video was in my recomendations and I'm really glad I gave it a chance, you're an amazing person, hope you have a nice day and a nice life.
THIS REALLY HELPED ME TO IDENTIFY IF I AM A MUSLIM OR A CHRISTIAN THANK YOU. TURNS OUT IM MUSLIM
YES ME TOO
WHOLE CRAPPY YOU TOO???????????????
PREACH THE اله
العقبة
✈️🏢🏢
It's seems like the people who offended at this video are not actually offended at THIS video. That is, they are offended at what they THINK these ladies are saying, not at what these ladies are actually saying. It also kind of seems like those same offended people came into this video expecting to be offended.
But, you ladies keep doing what you're doing! What you said in this video is 100% correct!
THANK YOU 👏👏
AMEN.
Yes sir!
Valerie Linares preach!
..but,,, they are actually saying it
You have a beautiful heart. Thank you. Many blessings are on the way to your home. Much love from Africa.
I wish you girls were around before I got married. My wife went to church and she left me for some other guy from church when I was in the hospital
She and the guy came up to the hospital one day and said
Guess what I'm leaving you for Michael. Because you being in the hospital is making me unhappy
Them she left with the church member . After the divorce she married the guy. Now she is happy with him till he has to go to the hospital.
So sorry that happened to you.
I honestly thought that this was a meme video, but no. These ladies are serious as a heart attack. They need to read the Bible. I don't know if Yahweh is laughing or crying at this video.
lol bible is product of 1st century what do u expect
You point on selflessness made me think of this question- How do you cultivate a selfless and others minded heart without becoming a pushover or passive and voiceless?
Well... maybe study the ministry of Jesus? He was selfless, gentle, and nonviolent, and definitely not a pushover
You can be selfless and still have self respect. Your love and compassion doesn't go away because you stand up for yourself.
Ive been bingewatching this channel...as a pansexual genderfluid agnostic I'm just absolutely amazed by these videos...
"If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you”
8:34... don’t let a selfless heart be confused with becoming a doormat to your significant other or even platonic relationships
Awesome! Thanks for being transparent! So glad I didn't rush into marriage like I originally planned!
Wow what you said about how society views a strong woman and how God views a strong woman really hit home, and it's so true! Thanks so much Kristen
God will always be our true happiness
Yay! Thank you so much! It's so great to have a video about this subject
Girl, your make up… 😮
These things are so true!
I have been married almost 4 years now and got married when I was 18 years old. These things are so hard to figure out after your married, even if you have been told these things before marriage it's is different living them.
Thank you for telling us this Biblical Advise full of truth and wisdom from God 😄 God bless you! ❤️
Isn't it amazing how God uses marriage and motherhood to expose the sin/weaknesses in our hearts? He doesn't leave us as we are but is graciously sanctifying and refining us. If we embrace those opportunities to be molded and grow we can learn so much! ❤️
I get that God is the only one who can fulfill me, but I feel like since I don't have a boyfriend and no one asks me out that something is wrong with me. I feel unwanted and disgusting, do you have any tips for that?
Kayli K hey I completely understand what you're going through about the guy situtation. There have been days where's I felt terrible about myself. How I dealt with it was just focusing on the relationships that God has already blessed me with such as family and friends. Another major thing that has helped is just looking in the mirror saying nice things about myself. Remember God made us all beautiful and he wants us to love ourselves just as much as he loves us.
Everything is in the Lord's time and in His way and according to His will. For now, just follow God and seek the kingdom and a boy will come along when you least expect it. God should have the first place in our hearts always and just pray for your future husband from a young age.
I've encountered the same thing. I honestly think that this is our Father protecting us. Hopefully this makes sense but it's almost like He's "blinded" people to me because I'm looking to them for satisfaction and purpose. Its actually another way of showing His goodness and grace because it drives us to Him. No man or woman will ever fulfill us or always be there. Earthly relationships are fleeting. Only our union with the Lord will last. Now I'm thankful for this protection because now that I'm growing in the Lord I'm encountering more men that are sold out for God, and a godly character is the most attractive thing ever. I honestly think that if someone after God's heart were to notice me and pursue me, I'd fall head over heels straight away, because the flesh is flaky and doesn't think straight LOL. God has created a mate specifically for you that He will reveal in His time. We don't want to settle for the first guy that gives us attention, but we want God's BEST right? He has a best for you. I hope this made sense. It's late and I'm sleepy, so this may be an incoherent jumble LOL
I know that can be really hard...when I was in high school I was never the girl that got asked out all the time. But now I'm married and so happy and I'm so glad that I didn't just date a lot of people when I was in school. God has such a great plan for you!! He will lead your life perfectly! 💗 - Est X
I think it's a natural desire to want a man to love you. After all God did design for man to have a wife.. But then again, we should be completely satisfied with just God's love, but trust me I've struggled with this too and it makes me feel better that someone else has felt that way as well.
Thank you for this, i was struggling feeling alone at 27. This made me feel that i had to prepare and use this time to invest on learning more before actually date again.
Thanks so much this really helped me as a 15 year old girl
Cheyenne Akins yep! You can never be too young to get ready for marriage.
Cheyenne Akins sameeee
Liza David I disagree. Saying what you've said above only brings peer pressure for teenagers who are still getting to know God and that are still developing their relationships with God. To the teenagers out there who think I need to find my husband or wife now don't rush. I'm nearly 28, and I have been engaged to my future husband for nearly 3 years. You have so much ahead of you. God has a plan for you. Trust in Him. Don't rush into big decisions now, just enjoy God's purposes for you.
Lily, let me tell you something just because you're 28 and engaged now doesn't mean young girls can't start thinking of marriage and preparing for it. I know when I was 15, I was totally in love with my now fiance. Never did I think I would marry him but even then I still thought of myself as a girl who wanted to be ready to know what to look for in a husband for when the time came. It does not mean you're rushing into something. Because in life we prepare for a lot of things. School, jobs, when you buy a house, get a car, get your first salary, etc but NEVER especially in this generation...we prepare for marriage. We let everyone dictate our lives with what they say about not rushing and instead study, get a job, get money then you get married. Turns out that day will never come because a job, and money aren't permanent. You can quit, get fired, lose and gain money, buy a new house, sell it, get evicted, etc. But a marriage. That's forever. That's why you see girls crying over boys even at your age. They never really knew what to expect, how to prepare for the things are more important in life. And btw. even after marriage there's a lot of people (20+, 30+, 40+) that are still getting to know God. Some don't even know their purpose in life yet and the age don't matter. Because 2 is better than 1 and 3 is even better. The third person would be Jesus, that guides them. I'm getting married at 19 and I'm PROUD to tell the world. I know that's what God intended my life to be. Young marriage is awesome. I encourage all girls of ANY age to prepare yourselves. Because money, a job, or school don't make up a wife. That's Jesus. Only Him.
stanzygarcia I agree 100%! thanks for sharing your story it really encouraged me:) congratulations I am so happy for you! God bless you, your fiance and your marriage♥can you tell me your "love story"? ;) ♥
Thank you for this video! Listen up, Ladies! If any video is important for newly married or even dating....this info is soooooooooooo important. Coming from a girl who has been married once!
I'll apply this and I'm not even Christian
ok even as an equalist, the one about being too independent does make sense. if you view ur partner as a competitor, marriage won’t work. u do have to work together
Although I'm a muslim, I think it is so helpful... like!
yeah :)
❤️❤️❤️
Same here, i am glad i found this blog. Our values are so similar.
Sweet :)
I dissagree I'm Christian but I think you should not live for someone else.
This was such a nice video to watch!Thank for making it, I'm glad I found your channel!
This video was recommended for me but I am so glad I watched this video. Great message . Praise God.
This was an answer to prayer, thank you for posting! And you are so sweet 😊
If marriage is a partnership then why are women the keepers of the home? That doesnt sound very partner like to me.
That’s a very culture influenced idea. If you’ve ever read proverbs 31 you’ll see that the wife is both a care take of her family and a business women. She is multifaceted. But the church lets culture influence them too much sometimes
Because the man is out working to support the family financially. So the women takes care of the home. That's the partnership. You're welcome for explaining.
@wnc817 what if you never want kids and your partner's okay with being childless and doesn't mind doing chores so I can work?
oh my gosh thank you so much for your Christian videos I'm so happy I found you! it's so encoraging to see a TH-camr giving golden advice for so many Christian girls out there that can identify 💖💖💖
Very good reminder!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom for us girls out of the goodness of your heart!! Bless you for it!!
I must say this video was extremely eye opening especially the first point. Thank you. 💜
This was actually extremely useful. Especially the first two. I had been wondering about some of those things already.
I'm a Muslim, and I loved and agreed with every single tip. Thanks for these awesome tips, cuz honestly I've been thinking about most these things, and this helps a lot.
You are so right. When I first was married, I had to set aside my "independent and self focused" thinking. Marriage is about compromise, being a team, and working together. If you keep focusing on yourself (and this applies to both parties), marriage will be very challenging.
PLEASE! do a video on how to cultivate domestic skills :D
i love this channel as it is so helpful and answers all my questions! i just wish it was also in podcast form as i could listen to it when traveling when there is no wifi
I don't think this is limited to Christian girls. This applies to all women regardless of religion!!
Michelle Ross well she talks A LOT about God from a Christian perspective so it's Juan Luis directed at other Christians
Michelle Ross I'm Jewish and it applies to me too :)
Esther Neissany Of course it does! We have the same Holy Scriptures!
Michelle Ross no it’s not for all women. Not all women want to be second class citizens in their own home.
Loved what you said on being selfless
Loved these tips! Thank you!💕
I think you so much for speaking the truth. There are not many videos out here explaining the truth of marriage. Everyone likes to paint it into a fairytale and it can’t be a fairytale or so many people wouldn’t be divorced. So I think you for setting realistic expectations because when I hear your videos I know I will be OK.
yeeeeesssss!!!
But not only CHRISTIAN GIRLS, but also EVERYONE!
EVERY GIRL& BOY of ANY RELIGION!
Yes! The independence thing was like put into words what I couldn't but knew there was something there!! THANK YOU!
hi, I am not a Christian Girl but I strongly agree with what you say, and I would like to add that these points are for each girl despite of here religion. we are all the same from One source (GOD, ALLAH, JESUS, BUDHA...ect) just different names, we share the same hummanity. I really enjoyed watching your video may GOD bless you and give you a happy wonderful marriage life full of love and harmony.
Reham
I. Love. This. Thank you!!!!!!!! You are such a light.
Thank you so much for this! God bless you ❤
Love this! Thanks for sharing your heart :)
Literally watched 1 minute and subscribed. Love your channel
answer me thusly,,who is the Tribe of Dan?
Love this video thank you I really needed to hear this video 🙌🏾
Thank you for this video, im getting married next summer, ive only just come to God 3 years ago, im a new Christian so im learning both. God bless you sister in Christ
Your not actually liking this?
Helpful video. It’s actually astonishing that so many people are bashing this video. I can’t believe being selfish, only being in something if it’s filling to you, and putting so much weight on someone else to make you happy is celebrated. No wonder so many people get divorced 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you so much for talking about this. It's something I've definitely struggled a lot with. And I needed to hear this. Thanks again.
Thank you for this video. The comment section is very toxic, but I appreciate your videos. They are biblical truths to your videos which is what we as Christians need. We live in the world, but are not of the world. Criticism is bound to be around when we challenge people’s sinful worldly view, when we are supposed to have a biblical worldview. Thank you!
renata bliss How so? I’m still not understanding that.