💯 After a LOT of soul-searching, I realised one important thing: I'm not a repairman; it was never my obligation to fix something that I didn't break. She is a locked room in my memory palace - every now & then I'll quickly peek inside & remember some of the rare good things, but I'm always quick to lock the door again. I've accepted that she probably never loved me, but in her defence, deep down I don't think she even liked herself .....
Got that right!!! They were damaged goods when we met and will be with the next victim...not my issue tho...I got my war wounds from battle and earned my place in this world to be at peace for once.......Blood + Sweat + Tears baby 😢
Yep. I remember looking at his Facebook page and seeing how much he posted about his exes and seemed so in love with them. He posted romantic lyrics, pictures, and lots of posts saying how happy he was with them. He proposed to them and bought them a nice ring, commented on all them pics and showed them off to the world. I felt jealous and wondered why he didn't treat me that great. He never made the relationship official, never introduced me to friends or family, hit me up every now and then, left me on read a lot, didn't want to spend money on me but bought his exes Gucci and expensive jewelry, didn't chase me when I walked away but chased and begged for his exes when they left. I ended up talking to his exes and they said he was way worse to them than he was to me. He cheated on them, mooched off them and lived with them rent free, used them any way he could, beat them, choked them, broke their legs, cheated on them multiple times, stalked them, harassed them, belittled them, etc. I'm so glad he never did that shit to me. I never spent a dime on him and the worst he did was ignore me and call me crazy when I called him out on his lies. I realized my angels must have been protecting me from him and I seem to be the only former lover that made it out unscathed. Be grateful if the narcissist isn't hoovering, ignores you and has moved on from you so quickly..
Is this just me or do thee do this with everyone they hear song on radio and he said thats you the song was marti pellow love is all around lol ha ha crazy
I was maried to malignsnt narc i exposed him to omg his flying monkey he beat me up he was f.....g her started bringing her in house when i was there speeki g to each other like i was not there i was bedriden 2 weeks he tried to kill me i couldnt walk he went out morning till night with other supplys hes got babys to. Never bought food never paid bills never worked robbed my money jewlery. I could not look after my child left like this how low can you go shiting on your own door step with neighbour ugly at that pure down grade i left as soon as i could walk.there evil.
Oh, dear, have we been with the same person? Because these are the exact same things my narcissistic ex was doing to me for almost three years. Constantly ignoring me, leaving me on read or on delivered for hours or even days, I guess he wanted me to chase and beg him and make me feel unimportant. He even ignored me on a Valentine's Day in 2022, all I got was a silent treatment, but the irony is that his new girlfriend's name is Valentina who is, by the way, underage and her dumb parents approve of that relationship. He also never bought me any gift, never took me out anywhere, never spent a dime on me, never did anything nice for me, never took me to any public place, he was constantly hiding me, never introduced me to his family or friends and the only place he wanted us to meet was a park. I believe that one of the reasons is that I am considerably older than him, but look way younger than him and his narcissistic ego couldn't stand it, so he rather went for the underage girl. Now he is shamelessly flaunting his new supply, posts pictures with her on social media how they ride horses together and he even posted on facebook that he is in a relationship with her from the date he was still with me and he did it all with her behind my back until he secured that new supply, then he ghosted me and eventually blocked me everywhere.
This is SO true! Thank you. It’s a facade and they’re trying to make the target jealous. Triangulation from a distance. It seems to crush the narcissist even more when the target/former supply REALLY doesn’t care!
I did that with husband he bought her in her an him ignored me yalking i let it see i didnt care i left 2 weeks later hes at my mothers 70 mile away i got police to get rid
It’s funny cause I remember feeling this way whenever I was finally done with my ex and she moved on. I was down and out cause I still had to see her cause we have small child together, long story short I witnessed all this in 4k. Her new relationship didn’t even last 6months. Fast fwd. now she’s on her third supply and doing all of this all over again. It’s wild it’s almost like a condition they have or something lol
@@PoyTroyI’m currently going through this now, I have to watch her with her new bf and it sucks, I know she’s putting on a show but still i feel some type of way
I think as long as the narc is getting what they want, be it money, sex, power, or control ( or ALL 4 ) that they seek, it's a temporary superficial supply need and they will only continue to look or be happy until that supply gets sick, catches on to their shenanigans or stops the fulfilling a need, then the new person will see a different side of the narc...They are always playing a part to get what they want. Nothing is ever what it really seems. Social media allows people to distort the truth.
@@FLdancer00 By reading book about the subject and knowing that i can only change one human on this planet and it is me. My thinking changes the day that everything about her it is her story no mine so everything in her book i do not care. I do care what is in my book of life. i would love to help the next man and saying don't go with her that is what the future as for you. But i learn it is not my place. She can destroy herself alone she doesn't need help from me and in the end i prefer to use my energy elsewhere, like on me and my 2 boys. I do feel sorry for the next man, i am human after all.
@@FLdancer00 Taken from a book i read about telling someone the other is a narc "Here is the typical reality: The psychopath will use your words to prove to the world how obsessed, bitter, and crazy you are. You have to keep in mind that very few people know or care about psychopathy. So instead, they’ll see someone who’s still in love and can’t handle rejection. Your frantic messages will be used to triangulate the new target, making them feel even more special and desired, using your “craziness” as a bonding mechanism."
You know what hirts me the most? Is knowing that he is intimate with the new supply the way he was with me. Idk why this is bothering me so much. I thought he was my forever person. Just hurts..💔
I feel the same. I always said the thought of you being with another the way you are with me and what does he go and do cheats on me I now know for at least 8 mths I was with him just under 14 yrs, suspected he was cheating by his behaviour towards me, including a rage after I asked him calmly why he was 6 hrs late when he msg me at 10pm to say he was on his way home, (I was staying at his whilst he alledgely went to a family party I wasn't invited to looking after his dog as well ) going to the bathroom with his phone even the last time I saw him 2 hrs later he was with her I later found out. I started sticking up for myself and said no to sex his reply was fine ill find someone else to have sex with which I guess he did with her 36 hrs later I broke up with him he had the cheek to cry begging me even got msgs saying you've broke my heart an hr later I'm sorry I hurt you goodbye my love, 3 wks later he's got a new fb 6th Sept saying he's in a new relationship yep with the girl he cheated on me with, all his family and some friends made up for him little do they know he's talked badly about them all and saying exactly the same things he said to me when we met even putting up the same songs she's also the same age as me but looks much older, he's 10 yrs younger than us all his exes have been younger , we shared the same Google account and still has our photo of us yet 21st July he told me he was saying to his mum how much he loved me over and over, 😊a wk later he's looking for a new home for his dog proberbly to move in with her she doesn't know he tried phoning me 29th August off his new no I never answered we have had no contact since. I just think he's vile and I suspect he's cheated a few times, he told me all his exes cheated on him he even accused me which was proven I hadn't.
The most haunting question LOL. No, they will put up the facade as long as the supply isn't aware of it, but eventually, the mask will slip, it's a matter of time. They will act like they are changed and they are different person, loving and caring until one day the switch will flip.
The best thing I ever done is block him. He posted on social media that he has a new supply. But who cares if he treats her better. I just want to stay far away from that monster they can have him 🙃 He got mad I no longer wanted to take care of him and said he would find someone else who will. I been at peace ❤
The supply might be the women they told you not to worry about when you were married, “just a friend”. And, as my therapist reminded me many times before I filed for divorce, “It is a cycle!” The way they treat you is a cycle. She would remind me when he would randomly be nice that it was just a part of the cycle and if I stayed I would be accepting the entire cycle.
Sometimes we blame ourselves for the mess or the problems because if we believe we made it, when we actually didn't, we can try to fix it. We want to fix it because we know the narcissist never will. Sept 30th will mark 3 years NO CONTACT! The peace has been incredible! ❤
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They.get less with time. If you’ve been with someone half your life as I did it’s hard to reset. But I’ve found peace and things I always wanted to do and had good experiences. I wouldn’t have got if still with him. Remember that.
I'm surprised so many commenters have not gone no contact. Within 30 seconds of being discarded by the narc, I BLOCKED and went NO CONTACT for LIFE. He wanted to be gone ~ he can stay gone. Galatians 6:7 KJV "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." I pray the narc is blessed with a PLENTIFUL harvest.
Ok???? And everyone is not like you! So hopefully, you can understand & respect that....And maybe be a little more encouraging instead of judgemental.....Everyone has to navigate their own journey at their own pace. But thanks for sharing
Yes, they ARE meant for each other. He treats her way better than he treated me, and gives her way more than he ever gave me. She's his queen and beloved and he's given her the luxurious, pampered life that he flat out refused to give me. But what confuses me is, he pursues me as well, calling me his "True queen and soulmate....the one that got away....the one he misses every day." I established No Contact once again, this time forever.
My kids father was just with me during the Christmas holiday and then 2 days later I found out he got engaged. When I asked him if it was true he responded with "you know I just be doing shit" I spiraled and laid with him a week later and he told me " I'm his heart and who he truly wants" and that he's only marrying her because of logic 🤦🏿 I have been ignoring him since. I sometimes get sad but I catch myself quickly and remind myself of the truth that he's no good.
Thank you, Ben. This video is so helpful. I'm really struggling with the fact that ex narc is treating new supply like I wanted to be treated. It is hard to not think that it was me. 😢 Appreciate all you do for us survivors!
@@RawMotivations Thank you so much, Ben. I appreciate it. He is like a drug addiction that I cannot shake or get over. He got me so hooked to just throw me away like I was never anything.
Your not treated any diffrent than the one befor you or the one after you they love no one its about supply and when you leave they have well dont the smear campaighn befor devalung started. Even the love bombing is abuse to hook us in my god we get trauma bond i married the prick we were togeather for 18 months then married ilong story
The worst part is when you ask yourself why i was not enough I’ve been struggling with that not being enough for her she made me feel that way But the worst part is seeing her married to e guy who looks just like me And it hurts realizing how foolish I was But my question is How can someone gets married to e person who looks like her Ex who does that? After all the lies the hurt that she caused on me the Gaslighting the flying monkeys the blame shift she blamed me for everything she accused me for things i didn’t do and didn’t say And what she does ? She gets married to a Guy who looks just like me and about that guy she told me not to worry about Who does that ?
Disordered sadistic evil narcissist does that. Ive been there too. You loved alien and predator in sheeps clothing - not a human being. You are enough and married guy is screwed, he just dont know that yet.
A covert narc does exactly that. You will have several ah ha moments in the near future. Normal people take time to heal their wounds, self reflect and grow from hardships. Those that have npd won't do that. They live their whole lives as a lie and Not take accountability for their actions on purpose. That is why they act that way during/ after discard. As for the part as to him looking like you, there is no rhyme or reason to what they do, they have no limits to (their narc madness)The goal is to punish and destroy (all about control, envey and them getting their self serving needs met). Nothing or no one is ever enough for them. Love to them is what they want and how they " feel in the moment". They think in terms of black and white/ joy or hatred. Everything and everyone is transitional to them. It's like being in a play and suddenly being scripted out. The lies, blameshifting, gaslighting, ect...are premeditated to put the next character in place to fit the role they play (leading victim role) that is. Continue to research Narcissist abuse from several different sources. It helps in the healing process to understand what and why they do things and their repeated cycles of abuse. If she has it in her heart to treat you with malice and no remorse be certain that she'll do it again and again. They don't change they may tweek their role play of manipulation/ control to temporarily suit the new character/ supply as they learn what works to get their way. Still the darkness doesn't leave them, they feel off others. Enjoy your own company, trust your instincts and uphold your boundries knowing that not everyone deserves a seat at your table of life.
I appreciate this video. It’s been difficult for me lately. I still wrestle with whether or not I believe my ex was a narcissist. Sometimes I even wonder if she was as manipulative as I remember . Worst part is I wonder if I might have been the abuser. Anytime I would confront her about gaslighting or suggest that shes a narcissist, she would very calmly and confidently deny it. Then she would turn and accuse me of being those things. Even after I broke down crying and shaking on the floor one night, she still didn’t apologize. She’d never admit to anything being her fault. Sure she would give me the textbook “I’m sorry you feel that way”, but that’s it. She never admitted any actual wrongdoing. I even made us a counseling appointment but she wouldn’t go with me. It didn’t help any that I began turning to alcohol more and more to cope. Not only was it unhealthy, but she would use it to her advantage. When we would have an argument, the next day she would always say “That’s not how it REALLY happened”. And I wouldn’t have a good case to claim otherwise because I had been drunk. It started making me question my own sanity. Since then I’ve quit drinking and focused on healing. I hadn’t thought about her much until recently. I had to go to family court with her because we have a son. It was there that I learned that she has not only met a new guy, but also got married and pregnant! The news has stirred up old memories and grief. I wasn’t expecting her to have gotten into such a serious commitment so fast. It doesn’t surprise me though. When we first met she love bombed me very hard the first couple months. The marriage topic came up pretty early on. I was absolutely made to feel like I was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. She let everyone know how wonderful I was. I wasn’t in a hurry to get married though. I didn’t know if I even wanted to ever get married again. I had just gotten divorced when we started dating. I’m thankful I didn’t want to rush into another marriage. We could have very well have gotten married so soon just like she’s done with this new guy. If she’s loved bombed this new guy half as much as she did to me, then I’m not surprised why he already married her. Like the video says though, I do wonder if she’s different with him than she was with me. I can’t help but secretly kinda hope she’ll eventually treat him just as bad as she treated me.
Yes once you get out you will have peace. You will doubt your choice and remember when they seemed nice. Just remember the long weekly silences to make you feel insecure. The unexpected nasty comments spat out, the way they made you feel self hate. You did lots for them yet when you did something YOU liked it was ignored. They have no ability to say ‘’I’m happy /proud for you’. Or thanks that was a great dinner even. After he got his new supply (I did suspect, look and you will find evidence) he told me he was now in love. I actually laughed. He didn’t move in with her or marry her for YEARS. They can’t look you in the eyes. They can’t embrace the fun to be had, laugh at themselves. My child now grown said, ‘why did dad never hug me or you mom?’ Too busy loving self. Always told me he was getting compliments from Co workers. Apparently he’s now been diagnosed with a long term disease. I’m human I feel sorry for him. He should be grateful he’s got a nurse for a partner. She’ll be run off her feet. No fun to be had for her.
A mutual friend of my narc ex posted a picture of him and his new supply (the woman he cheated on me with). Admittedly I spiraled. I went on a burner FB account and saw that he’s pretty much moved her and her children in what was our home. Sitting on the furniture that I purchased. Now wishing that I would’ve not seen all of this. I know that I’m better not being with him but it’s hurts to see him and her act all in love on social media when they were deceitful and hurtful towards me.
I am so sorry you experienced this. I was discarded too after new supply popped in , I have my kids & starting over and grateful for my blessings. Go no contact 💯 it’s tough but it will help you heal. Don’t go shopping for pain. Trust me
I been here. Trust. It doesn’t last. My ex did this, her and my child moved in with her new supply just weeks of knowing him. Not even 6 months later did it fail. Fast forward now. She’s on her third relationship, repeating everything she does, in moving fast. The mask will eventually slip and they run and attach on to someone else. Just gotta accept it. And be happy it’s not you their attaching on to anymore.
like I am sitting here, feeling all devasted as my husband left me for someone else, second time !! people :( But when he started and kept saying "BLOCKED, GHOST, NO CONTACT. BLOCKED, GHOST, NO CONTACT " I just started cracking up, laughing so hard for the first time in a very long time. So I thank you so much for this supporting video
it happens to the best of us....truly a cycle took mine back 3 times until I learned about narcissists, this last time I finally see how sick these evil monsters are. Its them not us friend.
@@ladyvirgo013 It is the worst pain ever :( I am looking for a supporting friend here, so we can support one another if you're open. My family doesn't understand...
Thank you Mr Ben.. You have a very calming way for me to understand this disorder. I appreciate it more than I could make you understand with my words. I hope your platform and teachings continue for a long long time 😊
Everybody is happy at the beginning of a new relationship. After a few months is when things start to come out. A narcissist can’t go but a few months without something happening and then the real them starts to reveal their self. Wasn’t it the same way in your relationship ? I know mine didn’t last but 3-4 months.
I'd second that. Good information. You will never win with them. You have to block them and go no contact. 7 months out (though it was on and off for years due to hoovering) and now I feel so much better. It's hard to explain but be strong and block them if you can. There is a better world out of it. I don't care what he's doing or with who now though I worry about who will get hurt next. There is a brighter future waiting after getting caught in their web. Get out! it wasn't love anyway on their part. Empty words. You know it inside.
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My ex constantly blames me for why we aren’t together. It’s all my fault and I’m toxic and crazy and a miserable c**t. He hurt me so badly and I turned into a monster when we were together. It’s hard to not think it’s your fault when it’s been repeatedly told to you.
Struggled with these exact sentiments. We were together for 3years & 6months after I discarded him after growing tired of the cycle of abuse, manipulation & love bombing. He's now engaged to his "new supply" & it hurts because she looks so happy. Crazy part is, 2weeks prior to his proposal announcement on social media he reached out to me and said he want to get back together. ( Suspected he had another woman) but I feel so stupid because a part of me wanted him back & wanted it to work out. I feel physically sick
Look up "Reactive Abuse" It's nothing more than projection & gas lighting to make you feel guilty about your reactions to their abuse. The narc sets it up to where you can look like the villian and they play will play the victim.
Amanda it isn't your fault he is the monster not you!! Mine Cas me cunt little girl bitch and pressured me to gave sex years ago as he was y first boyfriend now he is not having sex with new gir And says he is taking it slow . But my hopes are he will.not find her perfect cause all people have flaws and if he is cruel to me what makes her get better treatment?
This has been the best answer on the internet. Straightforward and to the point. I didn’t want details just basics and common sense, bare rational. My issue is I have kids and I hear things through my younger son then I end up asking. I know I shouldn’t do it but I do. His new wife also interfears, even drafted his emails about contact arrangements. I told him I would stop contact if it carried on. The email drafts stopped but she still tries. They had an affair and he discarded me and married her. (She was another mum at my children’s school). The irony is she is a counsellor on self esteem, confidence building, and abuse lol I’m interested to see how this will pan out. And god works in mysterious ways 😂
Her new supply is clearly not a first choice. Hes 20 years older than me. I'm sure shes only with him because her powers are fading and he would never leave her. At first i was jealous but now im just disgusted.
As time goes on, and I remain alone for years…….. I think I’d rather be the narcissists. I hate having a heart. I’d rather be ruthless and heartless. I just move right along
Same happening with me… even i curse myself for having a heart… being an empath my life is just hell… my heart and mind not even ready to get married… I can’t tolerate all those gaslighting and lies again.. i just want to be alone all my life… i have been there for 12 years…. I am on that stage where I don’t even know what still hurts me… I understand everything the cheating, narcissism, but after every three months i just can’t handle myself since 3 years. I just can’t believe that i loved a cheater this much… how i was not able to identify him… how i wasted my 12 years…
@@preetiishrrmaDamn, 12 years is a hell lot of time, for me it was just 4 years of hell and 3 breakups and 2 hoovers. The woman I loved more than my life, even came to my home, met my mom (Indian here) and even agreed fo marry me and promised my mom that we will be married in next 6 months. She broke up with me 7 days after meeting my mom and got her new supply from her office whom I think was already lined up before she left me. Now they're living together in a house they rented. She seems so happy, feels like I was the one who made her unhappy.... Its worst. I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD and have been on meds since 6 months. While that bi*ch is enjoying and living her life to the fullest. She gave me hope and took that exact thing away from me. I am moving past these memories by watching YT, Dr ramani and many more people to educate myself and move on. Look, I know it might be hurting as hell for you, I know what it feels like, I tried to end myself twice last nov, but my mom saved me the second time.... Please, Please seek therapy, it helps, not as much as you want it to help but it really does make a difference and helps you cope up with the pain...
Trying to so hard not to blame myself…he committed to her instantly after taking her on a trip I was begging for for 2 years. Posting her on social media and everything. Never did that for me. Makes me wonder if he just never really loved/took me serious now he’s found someone who really got his heart. Even though I know normal healthy people would ever lead someone on for two years, I can’t help but wonder.
Mine took his new supply on the same exact romantic getaway he took me, in the lovebombing days! It took me 9 years to get discarded/wise up; if it takes her that long he’s got it made in the shade. She’s his gravy train - she’ll probably be loyally holding his hand on his deathbed 😢 I wanted to be there for him til the end. He didn’t want me. I wasn’t rich enough. (Plus my kids were onto him. He was so judgemental. She doesn’t have kids. So I guess she’s a lot easier).
Thank you for this…..I needed the reminder. I appreciate that you put yourself out there. I’m sure that’s not always so easy! Praying for you and your wife as you navigate your own healing in all of this as well 🥰🙏🏼🥰
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There's a glitch in their brains that keeps them on Wash-Rinse-Repeat mode mentally.. I really think there is a link between npd disorder and add/adhd and/or the autism spectrum.
Like the tale of Narcissus. If they actually see who they are really it will be a death to them. They create such a carefully constructed illusion of themselves that they believe is real and they believe others believe it too. When we don't they discard and look for a new supply. To keep the illusion going.
The narc has a sign up that says best dad … in reality his son starves every day until he gets home …. And he told his son lies about me …. Good parenting is keeping your children out of the personal details of your relationship…..
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OMG, he has been blowing me up with all her glowing attributes. The problem is she is in prison for the next 5 1/2 yrs. They had a Bill before the legislature here to allow prisoners to get out after serving 65% of their time but it failed do it's back to 85% and will no longer be heard so there is ur Karma one more time! That's for betrayal. I told him she was coming for him was just sharpening her nails. Good Luck with that!
Thanks for this information. I'm one month discarded by my husband of 12 years,he's now shacked up with the secretary at his work. I have so much healing to do. In some bizarre way,thus helps me
@chelseakal-q2b I'm healing but let me be honest, the level of betrayal is so painful. Just keep reminding yourself that we aren't Losing anything!! Just chaos and deception
I pushed for the discard after taking the abuse so I’m relieved that he’s with someone else, it doesn’t matter anymore. There’s another narcissist in my life who’s triangulating with his female friends in regards to me, it’s unfortunate because he’s abusing them and not me because I grey rock and stonewall this guy. I’m taking care of myself. I’m aware of what they are doing but I’m not using social media or anything else in order to find out as I just know who they are, end of story 👍
I just broke an old no contact and saw he's engaged and I think... maybe it's because I rejected him last time he came back 🤣 idk I can't see him giving up the merry go round for marriage but I think he wants to make me and all women jealous LMAOO
Thank you so much and yeah this is so true I happen to me you know the dark the value me for someone in church that I used to go and a person and a woman I know her is crazy and the dark and you know how they started seeing each other she knew everyone else knew and so are his sister so you know what and I say to myself I walk away and it's best and I'm glad that he did and now he's trying to contact me male text and call not block all
My ex husband married the other woman , they’ve been together for 8 years and they are happy and successful.. 8 years is a long time to love bomb someone so their happiness must be real
Yes I've had the same thought! What if its me. I thought it was just me. If i just would of tried enough. Prayed enough and been a peaceful wife. Ive been thinking all that!😢😢😢
You are a blessing to so many people. Thank you for what you do. I always feel so much better after listening to your videos. God bless you and your family. ❤️ 🙏🏻
I will not look at his life I know she will suffer, he is almost 50 and can’t stop lying for anything. I never told anybody how nasty he was when we were young! So yeah it’s not real happiness. She will fake it but not for long . He will be highly jealous, nasty and I will be here living my simple life.
She told me she would be ALONE after the discard but went back to dating her ex boyfriend. Its the lies that hurt. I believed her. Now, she is much happier because she has a better chance at a marriage in the future and being a wife. I know thats what she wants, but dont say one thing and do another.
He discarded me when I was in a coma and move on to the new supply took her to Turkey 🇹🇷 whilst I was in a coma. Now they are buying a house together. When during our divorce, this guy said he couldn't afford to pay his bills, yet he bought a house with her. Unbelievable
He lives 2 houses from me!!!!!! So damn painful what he is doing with the new supply who he immediately started seeing her and she moved in ASAP!!! I have to drive in the opposite direction to go anywhere to avoid going by his house. He continues to drive by MY house every day to/from work. He even bought the same truck that I bought earlier this year-same color!!!!
I needed this. You was spot on!! I never knew about this!!! I’m experiencing this at this moment!! He was cheating I asked him he said no but things that were happening made me assume. He said he loved me it was no one else we had sex and the next day… he text me saying I got u on my camera busting out my windows!!!??? I’m like what are u talking about… he blocked me wouldn’t talk to me. He finally unblocked me and when I called he was with some girl that he’s been cheating on me with for months I found out and he had b en so mean to me in the last month or 2. He was tired of me accusing him of cheating it’s no one else and I’m getting on his nerves. We had just had sex he said he loved me and it was no one else. The next day he called accuse me that he has me on camera busting out his windows and has blocked me ever since. I begged and begged on vm I cried left 20 messages. I still have not talked to him so I have been just crying. I ran across this and it’s exactly what I needed
Its easy to go no contact when you dont have a young child together. Im at the point now where i feel like its probably best i just wait until my daughter is old enough to want to get to know me on her own.
My ex isn’t flaunting his new woman on social media. When we broke up he changed his Facebook to public. Which he never did before and was very private. He changed his tagging settings to private though! We have been broken up 6 months now. I only have information of him from social media. Mutual friends have been quiet and I eventually blocked them anyhow. Is he ashamed of her, not wanting to make it social media official or he just doesn’t want me knowing about his new life?!
@@rdixon9557 I also found an old Facebook account of his about 2 months ago. I’d never seen it before. It had single on it 😆 He wasn’t posting on it, but I thought it was so random! He’s seemed to have deleted it only a couple of weeks back. I’m just waiting to see/hear things fail with the new chick so I can say, that’s a shame 😆🍻
Narcs will tell the new person you're crazy, insecure, and was doing them so wrong, so the new person will think your this horrible person and you were dumb for dumping a really great person, and blah blah blah, that's why I refuse to engage or meet the new supply, if you wanna think he's all that, you go right ahead ma'am, you should have the same privilege as I did of experiencing EVERYTHING, Good bad & ugly he has to offer without any warning or heads up from me! People gotta understand the narc told them everything they needed to say to make you look like a monster, them the victim, so the new supply honestly thinks they are doing a good thing and loving someone you or I just did so bad. But narcs can only hide their dark side for so long, it will show up and if they wanna stay & deal with it, then they get whatever they get..Good luck with that! Not my issue anymore
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I can answer you that you're ABSOLUTELY NOT! because a narcissistic wouldn't even think that question on his own.. so no worry's surviver and good luck on you healing ❣️
No you are not. Why? Because a big character flaw narcissist have is that they live their lives in denial/ lies and lack accountability. Although, if you stay with one, especially a covert narc long enough their toxicity may temporarily rub off on you, but that's your minds defense system fighting off reactive abuse and all the cognitive dissonance and gaslighting. Trust your instincts and uphold your boundries as not everyone deserves a seat at your table of life".
The fact that you've ask yourself that question, means you're not a narcissist...narcs don't have to ability to self reflect or question themselves or the behavior, they justify it.
The thing is is mine has been with his new supply for 2 years and they’ve just moved abroad together, like how we had planned. I feel he’s not future faking with her as they’ve actually moved, it wasn’t fake. I don’t think for a second they have a rosey great relationship, I can see certain things that look like he’s still the same, but the fact he’s moved with her makes me thing maybe he has calmed down and isn’t a complete psycho now
@@RedRose01289 thank you so much for your reply x Yeah I have to keep telling myself that she isn’t getting it better, she might just be more compliant and easier to control, he hoodwinked me, my mum, everyone we worked with with his charm so it stands to reason he’s done the same with her, hope you’re healing x
What if he doesn't post their pictures online....he got marriage 6 months after the divorce and i asked him did he love her and he said nothing. I said yeah i know you don’t because its too soon after a 27 year marriage to me. He hated me because i stood up for myself and i didn't fear him
I almost last one year. That not means nothing, thr relationship excepting first two months was not good at all. Just he is being more permissive, a yes person, people pleasing or afraid of abandonment.
Blocking gosh no contact lol I ran after being forced into geting we'd omg then I got away then harrased via post ect gosh like a bad penny he got go away. Rang a support system gosh I tried not contact hom but the letters. Gifts must kerp coming
Mine is f Dating a new woman and is having sex with another whom he has broke up with and is now dating again. He said he isn't having sex with the new girl he is dating. He said he is taking it slow. He didn't take it slow with me. He pressured me for sex. As crazy as it is he definitely is vengeful to me.
Nah that's the point. It isn't exactly the same. Sometimes with new supply they do everything they never did but promised or were asked to do. That's what I heard many times. It's like those clowns can't make spontaneous gesture they learn it from previous supply to use it on new
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.15 (2/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qbHbshrA1f0/mqdefault.jpg)
Remember we were all new supply at one point.
Very true ❤
This fact keeps me grounded.
@@KBQuick81 it’s not the same he’s treating her really well actually their married
Not true as there always has to be a first supply. That was me, I was my now ex husband’s first supply.
If they loved you, they wouldn't have abused you.
We didn’t cause their behaviour
We can’t change their behaviour
We can’t cure their behaviour
💯 After a LOT of soul-searching, I realised one important thing: I'm not a repairman; it was never my obligation to fix something that I didn't break. She is a locked room in my memory palace - every now & then I'll quickly peek inside & remember some of the rare good things, but I'm always quick to lock the door again. I've accepted that she probably never loved me, but in her defence, deep down I don't think she even liked herself .....
Got that right!!! They were damaged goods when we met and will be with the next victim...not my issue tho...I got my war wounds from battle and earned my place in this world to be at peace for once.......Blood + Sweat + Tears baby 😢
@@hellas_crater
True facts 💯
We ( I ) don't Care any longer, about their behavior.
Block ... Ghost ... No Contact
Yep. I remember looking at his Facebook page and seeing how much he posted about his exes and seemed so in love with them. He posted romantic lyrics, pictures, and lots of posts saying how happy he was with them. He proposed to them and bought them a nice ring, commented on all them pics and showed them off to the world. I felt jealous and wondered why he didn't treat me that great. He never made the relationship official, never introduced me to friends or family, hit me up every now and then, left me on read a lot, didn't want to spend money on me but bought his exes Gucci and expensive jewelry, didn't chase me when I walked away but chased and begged for his exes when they left.
I ended up talking to his exes and they said he was way worse to them than he was to me. He cheated on them, mooched off them and lived with them rent free, used them any way he could, beat them, choked them, broke their legs, cheated on them multiple times, stalked them, harassed them, belittled them, etc. I'm so glad he never did that shit to me. I never spent a dime on him and the worst he did was ignore me and call me crazy when I called him out on his lies. I realized my angels must have been protecting me from him and I seem to be the only former lover that made it out unscathed. Be grateful if the narcissist isn't hoovering, ignores you and has moved on from you so quickly..
Is this just me or do thee do this with everyone they hear song on radio and he said thats you the song was marti pellow love is all around lol ha ha crazy
I was maried to malignsnt narc i exposed him to omg his flying monkey he beat me up he was f.....g her started bringing her in house when i was there speeki g to each other like i was not there i was bedriden 2 weeks he tried to kill me i couldnt walk he went out morning till night with other supplys hes got babys to. Never bought food never paid bills never worked robbed my money jewlery. I could not look after my child left like this how low can you go shiting on your own door step with neighbour ugly at that pure down grade i left as soon as i could walk.there evil.
Oh, dear, have we been with the same person? Because these are the exact same things my narcissistic ex was doing to me for almost three years. Constantly ignoring me, leaving me on read or on delivered for hours or even days, I guess he wanted me to chase and beg him and make me feel unimportant. He even ignored me on a Valentine's Day in 2022, all I got was a silent treatment, but the irony is that his new girlfriend's name is Valentina who is, by the way, underage and her dumb parents approve of that relationship. He also never bought me any gift, never took me out anywhere, never spent a dime on me, never did anything nice for me, never took me to any public place, he was constantly hiding me, never introduced me to his family or friends and the only place he wanted us to meet was a park. I believe that one of the reasons is that I am considerably older than him, but look way younger than him and his narcissistic ego couldn't stand it, so he rather went for the underage girl. Now he is shamelessly flaunting his new supply, posts pictures with her on social media how they ride horses together and he even posted on facebook that he is in a relationship with her from the date he was still with me and he did it all with her behind my back until he secured that new supply, then he ghosted me and eventually blocked me everywhere.
@@snjezanakristo6048thankyou for reminding me
Thank you. I got out quick as well. His own sister warned me and I listened!
This is SO true! Thank you. It’s a facade and they’re trying to make the target jealous. Triangulation from a distance. It seems to crush the narcissist even more when the target/former supply REALLY doesn’t care!
So agree
More over then not the new supply will be kept hidden and the narc will go AWOL..
It drove himself and the new supply to a small town just 15 minutes away from mine. They live a whole hour away….
Word!!
I did that with husband he bought her in her an him ignored me yalking i let it see i didnt care i left 2 weeks later hes at my mothers 70 mile away i got police to get rid
Remember how wonderful she was with you in the beginning.
Same for this guy.
Just wait. It's coming
There is no forever person to a narcissist.
It does hurt though
It’s funny cause I remember feeling this way whenever I was finally done with my ex and she moved on. I was down and out cause I still had to see her cause we have small child together, long story short I witnessed all this in 4k. Her new relationship didn’t even last 6months. Fast fwd. now she’s on her third supply and doing all of this all over again. It’s wild it’s almost like a condition they have or something lol
@@PoyTroyI’m currently going through this now, I have to watch her with her new bf and it sucks, I know she’s putting on a show but still i feel some type of way
I think as long as the narc is getting what they want, be it money, sex, power, or control ( or ALL 4 ) that they seek, it's a temporary superficial supply need and they will only continue to look or be happy until that supply gets sick, catches on to their shenanigans or stops the fulfilling a need, then the new person will see a different side of the narc...They are always playing a part to get what they want. Nothing is ever what it really seems. Social media allows people to distort the truth.
"It's never going to stop"
That's what terrifies me, all these women who don't know what they're about to get into. I wish I could warn them.
I used to feel that way but for me it was all the man she going to wreak havoc on.
They are pathetic human.
@@denisguay4315 Used to? How did you change your thinking?
@@FLdancer00 By reading book about the subject and knowing that i can only change one human on this planet and it is me. My thinking changes the day that everything about her it is her story no mine so everything in her book i do not care. I do care what is in my book of life. i would love to help the next man and saying don't go with her that is what the future as for you. But i learn it is not my place. She can destroy herself alone she doesn't need help from me and in the end i prefer to use my energy elsewhere, like on me and my 2 boys. I do feel sorry for the next man, i am human after all.
@@denisguay4315 I suppose that's true, I'm not responsible for anyone else's future except my own.
I'm still going to warn any who asks.
@@FLdancer00 Taken from a book i read about telling someone the other is a narc "Here is the typical reality: The psychopath will use your words to prove to the world how obsessed, bitter, and crazy you are. You have to keep in mind that very few people know or care about psychopathy. So instead, they’ll see someone who’s still in love and can’t handle rejection. Your frantic messages will be used to triangulate the new target, making them feel even more special and desired, using your “craziness” as a bonding mechanism."
You know what hirts me the most? Is knowing that he is intimate with the new supply the way he was with me. Idk why this is bothering me so much. I thought he was my forever person. Just hurts..💔
I feel the same. I always said the thought of you being with another the way you are with me and what does he go and do cheats on me I now know for at least 8 mths I was with him just under 14 yrs, suspected he was cheating by his behaviour towards me, including a rage after I asked him calmly why he was 6 hrs late when he msg me at 10pm to say he was on his way home, (I was staying at his whilst he alledgely went to a family party I wasn't invited to looking after his dog as well ) going to the bathroom with his phone even the last time I saw him 2 hrs later he was with her I later found out. I started sticking up for myself and said no to sex his reply was fine ill find someone else to have sex with which I guess he did with her 36 hrs later I broke up with him he had the cheek to cry begging me even got msgs saying you've broke my heart an hr later I'm sorry I hurt you goodbye my love, 3 wks later he's got a new fb 6th Sept saying he's in a new relationship yep with the girl he cheated on me with, all his family and some friends made up for him little do they know he's talked badly about them all and saying exactly the same things he said to me when we met even putting up the same songs she's also the same age as me but looks much older, he's 10 yrs younger than us all his exes have been younger , we shared the same Google account and still has our photo of us yet 21st July he told me he was saying to his mum how much he loved me over and over, 😊a wk later he's looking for a new home for his dog proberbly to move in with her she doesn't know he tried phoning me 29th August off his new no I never answered we have had no contact since. I just think he's vile and I suspect he's cheated a few times, he told me all his exes cheated on him he even accused me which was proven I hadn't.
He wasn’t, you were just an opportunity to them… one wrong move and you were out ! That’s not love !
The most haunting question LOL. No, they will put up the facade as long as the supply isn't aware of it, but eventually, the mask will slip, it's a matter of time. They will act like they are changed and they are different person, loving and caring until one day the switch will flip.
The best thing I ever done is block him. He posted on social media that he has a new supply. But who cares if he treats her better. I just want to stay far away from that monster they can have him 🙃 He got mad I no longer wanted to take care of him and said he would find someone else who will. I been at peace ❤
Good for you! Your peace of mind comes first!
I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS NOT ME....THANK YOU!
The supply might be the women they told you not to worry about when you were married, “just a friend”. And, as my therapist reminded me many times before I filed for divorce, “It is a cycle!” The way they treat you is a cycle. She would remind me when he would randomly be nice that it was just a part of the cycle and if I stayed I would be accepting the entire cycle.
Sometimes we blame ourselves for the mess or the problems because if we believe we made it, when we actually didn't, we can try to fix it. We want to fix it because we know the narcissist never will. Sept 30th will mark 3 years NO CONTACT! The peace has been incredible! ❤
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Thank you for the validation. I left 2 years ago but now and then I get an anxiety attack like today. Thank you for putting me back on track.
They.get less with time. If you’ve been with someone half your life as I did it’s hard to reset. But I’ve found peace and things I always wanted to do and had good experiences. I wouldn’t have got if still with him. Remember that.
I'm surprised so many commenters have not gone no contact. Within 30 seconds of being discarded by the narc, I BLOCKED and went NO CONTACT for LIFE. He wanted to be gone ~ he can stay gone. Galatians 6:7 KJV "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." I pray the narc is blessed with a PLENTIFUL harvest.
Ok???? And everyone is not like you! So hopefully, you can understand & respect that....And maybe be a little more encouraging instead of judgemental.....Everyone has to navigate their own journey at their own pace. But thanks for sharing
Amen 🙏🏾 Thank you
I am so glad I'm free from this sick baby 🙏🙏🙏🙏Thank you
Yes, they ARE meant for each other. He treats her way better than he treated me, and gives her way more than he ever gave me. She's his queen and beloved and he's given her the luxurious, pampered life that he flat out refused to give me. But what confuses me is, he pursues me as well, calling me his "True queen and soulmate....the one that got away....the one he misses every day."
I established No Contact once again, this time forever.
2 narcs together = a disaster waiting to happen....time will reveal all things
My kids father was just with me during the Christmas holiday and then 2 days later I found out he got engaged. When I asked him if it was true he responded with "you know I just be doing shit" I spiraled and laid with him a week later and he told me " I'm his heart and who he truly wants" and that he's only marrying her because of logic 🤦🏿 I have been ignoring him since. I sometimes get sad but I catch myself quickly and remind myself of the truth that he's no good.
Thank you, Ben. This video is so helpful. I'm really struggling with the fact that ex narc is treating new supply like I wanted to be treated. It is hard to not think that it was me. 😢
Appreciate all you do for us survivors!
Totally get that. I would encourage you to check out rawmotivations.com and start learning from there. How are you can work through those triggers.
@@RawMotivations Thank you so much, Ben. I appreciate it. He is like a drug addiction that I cannot shake or get over. He got me so hooked to just throw me away like I was never anything.
Your not treated any diffrent than the one befor you or the one after you they love no one its about supply and when you leave they have well dont the smear campaighn befor devalung started. Even the love bombing is abuse to hook us in my god we get trauma bond i married the prick we were togeather for 18 months then married ilong story
@@daniellemorse6929me too ❤
@@daniellemorse6929I am in the same boat. How are you now a year later?
The worst part is when you ask yourself why i was not enough
I’ve been struggling with that not being enough for her she made me feel that way
But the worst part is seeing her married to e guy who looks just like me
And it hurts realizing how foolish I was
But my question is
How can someone gets married to e person who looks like her Ex who does that?
After all the lies the hurt that she caused on me the Gaslighting the flying monkeys the blame shift she blamed me for everything she accused me for things i didn’t do and didn’t say
And what she does ?
She gets married to a Guy who looks just like me and about that guy she told me not to worry about
Who does that ?
Disordered sadistic evil narcissist does that. Ive been there too.
You loved alien and predator in sheeps clothing - not a human being.
You are enough and married guy is screwed, he just dont know that yet.
A Narc does that my friend!
That’s definitely a NARC! She’s tormented by A Jezebel spirit
A covert narc does exactly that. You will have several ah ha moments in the near future.
Normal people take time to heal their wounds, self reflect and grow from hardships. Those that have npd won't do that. They live their whole lives as a lie and Not take accountability for their actions on purpose. That is why they act that way during/ after discard. As for the part as to him looking like you, there is no rhyme or reason to what they do, they have no limits to (their narc madness)The goal is to punish and destroy (all about control, envey and them getting their self serving needs met). Nothing or no one is ever enough for them.
Love to them is what they want and how they " feel in the moment". They think in terms of black and white/ joy or hatred. Everything and everyone is transitional to them.
It's like being in a play and suddenly being scripted out. The lies, blameshifting, gaslighting, ect...are premeditated to put the next character in place to fit the role they play (leading victim role) that is.
Continue to research Narcissist abuse from several different sources. It helps in the healing process to understand what and why they do things and their repeated cycles of abuse.
If she has it in her heart to treat you with malice and no remorse be certain that she'll do it again and again. They don't change they may tweek their role play of manipulation/ control to temporarily suit the new character/ supply as they learn what works to get their way. Still the darkness doesn't leave them, they feel off others.
Enjoy your own company, trust your instincts and uphold your boundries knowing that not everyone deserves a seat at your table of life.
My current narc of 10 years...I look similar to his ex wife!!! She had it better tho! Or she was just dumb!!!
I appreciate this video. It’s been difficult for me lately. I still wrestle with whether or not I believe my ex was a narcissist. Sometimes I even wonder if she was as manipulative as I remember . Worst part is I wonder if I might have been the abuser. Anytime I would confront her about gaslighting or suggest that shes a narcissist, she would very calmly and confidently deny it. Then she would turn and accuse me of being those things. Even after I broke down crying and shaking on the floor one night, she still didn’t apologize. She’d never admit to anything being her fault. Sure she would give me the textbook “I’m sorry you feel that way”, but that’s it. She never admitted any actual wrongdoing. I even made us a counseling appointment but she wouldn’t go with me. It didn’t help any that I began turning to alcohol more and more to cope. Not only was it unhealthy, but she would use it to her advantage. When we would have an argument, the next day she would always say “That’s not how it REALLY happened”. And I wouldn’t have a good case to claim otherwise because I had been drunk. It started making me question my own sanity.
Since then I’ve quit drinking and focused on healing. I hadn’t thought about her much until recently. I had to go to family court with her because we have a son. It was there that I learned that she has not only met a new guy, but also got married and pregnant! The news has stirred up old memories and grief. I wasn’t expecting her to have gotten into such a serious commitment so fast. It doesn’t surprise me though. When we first met she love bombed me very hard the first couple months. The marriage topic came up pretty early on. I was absolutely made to feel like I was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. She let everyone know how wonderful I was. I wasn’t in a hurry to get married though. I didn’t know if I even wanted to ever get married again. I had just gotten divorced when we started dating. I’m thankful I didn’t want to rush into another marriage. We could have very well have gotten married so soon just like she’s done with this new guy. If she’s loved bombed this new guy half as much as she did to me, then I’m not surprised why he already married her. Like the video says though, I do wonder if she’s different with him than she was with me. I can’t help but secretly kinda hope she’ll eventually treat him just as bad as she treated me.
Because she is clueless about who he really is
They Get off on Fooling women, Other's who
don't know them .
Yep he used to tell me how much he hated women and how stupid they are.
Yes once you get out you will have peace. You will doubt your choice and remember when they seemed nice. Just remember the long weekly silences to make you feel insecure. The unexpected nasty comments spat out, the way they made you feel self hate. You did lots for them yet when you did something YOU liked it was ignored. They have no ability to say ‘’I’m happy /proud for you’. Or thanks that was a great dinner even. After he got his new supply (I did suspect, look and you will find evidence) he told me he was now in love. I actually laughed. He didn’t move in with her or marry her for YEARS. They can’t look you in the eyes. They can’t embrace the fun to be had, laugh at themselves. My child now grown said, ‘why did dad never hug me or you mom?’ Too busy loving self. Always told me he was getting compliments from Co workers. Apparently he’s now been diagnosed with a long term disease. I’m human I feel sorry for him. He should be grateful he’s got a nurse for a partner. She’ll be run off her feet. No fun to be had for her.
I love the tone of your voice I can understand you very clearly block no contact ghost😂
Thank you. Would love to help you on your healing journey. Check out this video to see if you connect: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
So true. The fact that someone who once loved you devalued and discarded you feels harder to accept than even accepting guilt. But why?
A mutual friend of my narc ex posted a picture of him and his new supply (the woman he cheated on me with). Admittedly I spiraled. I went on a burner FB account and saw that he’s pretty much moved her and her children in what was our home. Sitting on the furniture that I purchased. Now wishing that I would’ve not seen all of this. I know that I’m better not being with him but it’s hurts to see him and her act all in love on social media when they were deceitful and hurtful towards me.
I am so sorry you experienced this. I was discarded too after new supply popped in , I have my kids & starting over and grateful for my blessings.
Go no contact 💯 it’s tough but it will help you heal. Don’t go shopping for pain. Trust me
I been here. Trust. It doesn’t last. My ex did this, her and my child moved in with her new supply just weeks of knowing him. Not even 6 months later did it fail. Fast forward now. She’s on her third relationship, repeating everything she does, in moving fast. The mask will eventually slip and they run and attach on to someone else. Just gotta accept it. And be happy it’s not you their attaching on to anymore.
Yes I agree...it takes time but after all we have to focus on ourselves becoz already we wasted so much time,energy...I know he will get his karma..
Do u know did karma hitted him?
like I am sitting here, feeling all devasted as my husband left me for someone else, second time !! people :( But when he started and kept saying "BLOCKED, GHOST, NO CONTACT. BLOCKED, GHOST, NO CONTACT " I just started cracking up, laughing so hard for the first time in a very long time. So I thank you so much for this supporting video
I'm going through this right now too,my husband discarded me a month ago for the secretary at his work. I'm trying to gather my guts off the floor
it happens to the best of us....truly a cycle took mine back 3 times until I learned about narcissists, this last time I finally see how sick these evil monsters are. Its them not us friend.
@@ladyvirgo013 It is the worst pain ever :( I am looking for a supporting friend here, so we can support one another if you're open. My family doesn't understand...
Thank you Mr Ben..
You have a very calming way for me to understand this disorder.
I appreciate it more than I could make you understand with my words.
I hope your platform and teachings continue for a long long time 😊
Thank you for the video and always taking the time out to help us narc survivors.
Everybody is happy at the beginning of a new relationship. After a few months is when things start to come out. A narcissist can’t go but a few months without something happening and then the real them starts to reveal their self.
Wasn’t it the same way in your relationship ? I know mine didn’t last but 3-4 months.
Yes every 3-4 months and he starts a new cycle. Sick mf!
They moving in after 3 months
I'd second that. Good information. You will never win with them. You have to block them and go no contact. 7 months out (though it was on and off for years due to hoovering) and now I feel so much better. It's hard to explain but be strong and block them if you can. There is a better world out of it. I don't care what he's doing or with who now though I worry about who will get hurt next. There is a brighter future waiting after getting caught in their web. Get out! it wasn't love anyway on their part. Empty words. You know it inside.
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I see him and his new supply almost every Sunday at church!!!!
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Thank you. I needed to hear this today before starting my day.
Have a good day ahead!
Very good explained !
Thank you!
My ex constantly blames me for why we aren’t together. It’s all my fault and I’m toxic and crazy and a miserable c**t. He hurt me so badly and I turned into a monster when we were together. It’s hard to not think it’s your fault when it’s been repeatedly told to you.
"Crazy and Lazy". That's what all Narcissists call their Empath. But it is actually a description of them.
Struggled with these exact sentiments. We were together for 3years & 6months after I discarded him after growing tired of the cycle of abuse, manipulation & love bombing. He's now engaged to his "new supply" & it hurts because she looks so happy. Crazy part is, 2weeks prior to his proposal announcement on social media he reached out to me and said he want to get back together. ( Suspected he had another woman) but I feel so stupid because a part of me wanted him back & wanted it to work out. I feel physically sick
Look up "Reactive Abuse"
It's nothing more than projection & gas lighting to make you feel guilty about your reactions to their abuse. The narc sets it up to where you can look like the villian and they play will play the victim.
@@mr.serendipiti5294 well I bet they aren't happy
Amanda it isn't your fault he is the monster not you!! Mine Cas me cunt little girl bitch and pressured me to gave sex years ago as he was y first boyfriend now he is not having sex with new gir
And says he is taking it slow . But my hopes are he will.not find her perfect cause all people have flaws and if he is cruel to me what makes her get better treatment?
This has been the best answer on the internet. Straightforward and to the point. I didn’t want details just basics and common sense, bare rational. My issue is I have kids and I hear things through my younger son then I end up asking. I know I shouldn’t do it but I do. His new wife also interfears, even drafted his emails about contact arrangements. I told him I would stop contact if it carried on. The email drafts stopped but she still tries. They had an affair and he discarded me and married her. (She was another mum at my children’s school). The irony is she is a counsellor on self esteem, confidence building, and abuse lol I’m interested to see how this will pan out. And god works in mysterious ways 😂
Her new supply is clearly not a first choice. Hes 20 years older than me. I'm sure shes only with him because her powers are fading and he would never leave her. At first i was jealous but now im just disgusted.
Excellent video, thank you very much.
You are welcome!
As time goes on, and I remain alone for years…….. I think I’d rather be the narcissists. I hate having a heart. I’d rather be ruthless and heartless. I just move right along
I feel this.
Let me know if i can be of help on your healing journey
Same happening with me… even i curse myself for having a heart… being an empath my life is just hell… my heart and mind not even ready to get married… I can’t tolerate all those gaslighting and lies again.. i just want to be alone all my life… i have been there for 12 years…. I am on that stage where I don’t even know what still hurts me… I understand everything the cheating, narcissism, but after every three months i just can’t handle myself since 3 years. I just can’t believe that i loved a cheater this much… how i was not able to identify him… how i wasted my 12 years…
@@preetiishrrmaDamn, 12 years is a hell lot of time, for me it was just 4 years of hell and 3 breakups and 2 hoovers. The woman I loved more than my life, even came to my home, met my mom (Indian here) and even agreed fo marry me and promised my mom that we will be married in next 6 months. She broke up with me 7 days after meeting my mom and got her new supply from her office whom I think was already lined up before she left me. Now they're living together in a house they rented. She seems so happy, feels like I was the one who made her unhappy.... Its worst. I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD and have been on meds since 6 months. While that bi*ch is enjoying and living her life to the fullest. She gave me hope and took that exact thing away from me. I am moving past these memories by watching YT, Dr ramani and many more people to educate myself and move on.
Look, I know it might be hurting as hell for you, I know what it feels like, I tried to end myself twice last nov, but my mom saved me the second time.... Please, Please seek therapy, it helps, not as much as you want it to help but it really does make a difference and helps you cope up with the pain...
Trying to so hard not to blame myself…he committed to her instantly after taking her on a trip I was begging for for 2 years. Posting her on social media and everything. Never did that for me. Makes me wonder if he just never really loved/took me serious now he’s found someone who really got his heart. Even though I know normal healthy people would ever lead someone on for two years, I can’t help but wonder.
It’s all a scam to make you down and project what isn’t real
Mine took his new supply on the same exact romantic getaway he took me, in the lovebombing days! It took me 9 years to get discarded/wise up; if it takes her that long he’s got it made in the shade. She’s his gravy train - she’ll probably be loyally holding his hand on his deathbed 😢 I wanted to be there for him til the end. He didn’t want me. I wasn’t rich enough. (Plus my kids were onto him. He was so judgemental. She doesn’t have kids. So I guess she’s a lot easier).
Thank you for this…..I needed the reminder. I appreciate that you put yourself out there. I’m sure that’s not always so easy! Praying for you and your wife as you navigate your own healing in all of this as well 🥰🙏🏼🥰
Now that,,,,,,,,,, was real
They just up the ante with the next person more intense, they need to trap that person and not let them get away from their clutches
Are you wondering what steps to take next in your healing journey? Join us to learn the right tools to break free from toxic relationships and empower yourself with clarity, certainty, and confidence here: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough.
What about if my ex narcs new supply is also a narcissist how does that work?
Like karma
Yep....my ex wife hooked up with a twice divorced dude and I am just gonna sit back and watch the train wreck.
Great video! Thanks
Why does a narcissist keep shooting themselves in the foot with this cycle?
Let me get that into a video. Thanks for your comment. stay tuned!
Great question
There's a glitch in their brains that keeps them on Wash-Rinse-Repeat mode mentally..
I really think there is a link between npd disorder and add/adhd and/or the autism spectrum.
Like the tale of Narcissus. If they actually see who they are really it will be a death to them. They create such a carefully constructed illusion of themselves that they believe is real and they believe others believe it too. When we don't they discard and look for a new supply. To keep the illusion going.
The narc has a sign up that says best dad … in reality his son starves every day until he gets home …. And he told his son lies about me …. Good parenting is keeping your children out of the personal details of your relationship…..
This made me cry. Today, he projected and blamed shift. He then told me, "You think I don't have options?" But I choose you! So I blocked.😢
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OMG, he has been blowing me up with all her glowing attributes. The problem is she is in prison for the next 5 1/2 yrs. They had a Bill before the legislature here to allow prisoners to get out after serving 65% of their time but it failed do it's back to 85% and will no longer be heard so there is ur Karma one more time! That's for betrayal. I told him she was coming for him was just sharpening her nails. Good Luck with that!
Thanks!
Thank you so much for your support!
Thanks for this information. I'm one month discarded by my husband of 12 years,he's now shacked up with the secretary at his work.
I have so much healing to do.
In some bizarre way,thus helps me
That relationship will not last.
@pythonpatrol1110 I believe you are correct and hopefully I will finally be divorced from that mess next week
@@ladyvirgo013 for your own emotional health, I hope so also.
How are you now??❤ I’m a month in being discarded and I’m hurting so bad
@chelseakal-q2b I'm healing but let me be honest, the level of betrayal is so painful. Just keep reminding yourself that we aren't Losing anything!! Just chaos and deception
I pushed for the discard after taking the abuse so I’m relieved that he’s with someone else, it doesn’t matter anymore. There’s another narcissist in my life who’s triangulating with his female friends in regards to me, it’s unfortunate because he’s abusing them and not me because I grey rock and stonewall this guy. I’m taking care of myself. I’m aware of what they are doing but I’m not using social media or anything else in order to find out as I just know who they are, end of story 👍
I just broke an old no contact and saw he's engaged and I think... maybe it's because I rejected him last time he came back 🤣 idk I can't see him giving up the merry go round for marriage but I think he wants to make me and all women jealous LMAOO
You have helped me so much
Check out a presentation I put together and see if it would help you where you are at: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
My ex narc moved on to another narc and they have been together for over 20 yrs. They deserve each other😊. Better her then me.😅
Lol I saw this happen during my relationship that even in my broken state of recovering, I never looked what she was doing, I saw through that demon
Thank you so much and yeah this is so true I happen to me you know the dark the value me for someone in church that I used to go and a person and a woman I know her is crazy and the dark and you know how they started seeing each other she knew everyone else knew and so are his sister so you know what and I say to myself I walk away and it's best and I'm glad that he did and now he's trying to contact me male text and call not block all
My ex husband married the other woman , they’ve been together for 8 years and they are happy and successful.. 8 years is a long time to love bomb someone so their happiness must be real
You don't know what goes on behind closed doors ? if he did it to you he will do it again.....
No contact !
Others 🙏🏻 MANIPULATION. Be KIND SAFE with BLESSED other people ✌🏼🌎.
THEY ARE HAPPY...TRUST ME. THEY ARE HAPPY
She is happy because she gets a new tool between her legs or maybe a few new ones?
Block ghost no contact!!! Check
Yes I've had the same thought! What if its me. I thought it was just me. If i just would of tried enough. Prayed enough and been a peaceful wife. Ive been thinking all that!😢😢😢
Thank you
exactly it is who they are
You are a blessing to so many people. Thank you for what you do. I always feel so much better after listening to your videos. God bless you and your family. ❤️ 🙏🏻
Your support means the world to me, thank you!
@@RawMotivations You are so welcome! ❤️ 🙏🏻
Thank you so much!!!!!
I was a new supply - he stood me up for Starbucks for our first date !
I will not look at his life
I know she will suffer, he is almost 50 and can’t stop lying for anything.
I never told anybody how nasty he was when we were young! So yeah it’s not real happiness. She will fake it but not for long .
He will be highly jealous, nasty and I will be here living my simple life.
She told me she would be ALONE after the discard but went back to dating her ex boyfriend. Its the lies that hurt. I believed her. Now, she is much happier because she has a better chance at a marriage in the future and being a wife. I know thats what she wants, but dont say one thing and do another.
Block ghost run lol thank man
He discarded me when I was in a coma and move on to the new supply took her to Turkey 🇹🇷 whilst I was in a coma. Now they are buying a house together. When during our divorce, this guy said he couldn't afford to pay his bills, yet he bought a house with her. Unbelievable
A "cordial breakup" with a narcissist. 😂
He lives 2 houses from me!!!!!! So damn painful what he is doing with the new supply who he immediately started seeing her and she moved in ASAP!!! I have to drive in the opposite direction to go anywhere to avoid going by his house. He continues to drive by MY house every day to/from work. He even bought the same truck that I bought earlier this year-same color!!!!
Similar situation but they both live on the same block and see third constantly. I'm preparing to move because I can't handle it and I can't heal
I needed this. You was spot on!! I never knew about this!!! I’m experiencing this at this moment!! He was cheating I asked him he said no but things that were happening made me assume. He said he loved me it was no one else we had sex and the next day… he text me saying I got u on my camera busting out my windows!!!??? I’m like what are u talking about… he blocked me wouldn’t talk to me. He finally unblocked me and when I called he was with some girl that he’s been cheating on me with for months I found out and he had b en so mean to me in the last month or 2. He was tired of me accusing him of cheating it’s no one else and I’m getting on his nerves. We had just had sex he said he loved me and it was no one else. The next day he called accuse me that he has me on camera busting out his windows and has blocked me ever since. I begged and begged on vm I cried left 20 messages. I still have not talked to him so I have been just crying. I ran across this and it’s exactly what I needed
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Its easy to go no contact when you dont have a young child together. Im at the point now where i feel like its probably best i just wait until my daughter is old enough to want to get to know me on her own.
There are a lot of ppl that still do. It’s not impossible
You Should be So Blessed to have them leave.
And not come back
My ex isn’t flaunting his new woman on social media. When we broke up he changed his Facebook to public. Which he never did before and was very private. He changed his tagging settings to private though!
We have been broken up 6 months now. I only have information of him from social media. Mutual friends have been quiet and I eventually blocked them anyhow.
Is he ashamed of her, not wanting to make it social media official or he just doesn’t want me knowing about his new life?!
@@rdixon9557 I also found an old Facebook account of his about 2 months ago. I’d never seen it before. It had single on it 😆
He wasn’t posting on it, but I thought it was so random! He’s seemed to have deleted it only a couple of weeks back.
I’m just waiting to see/hear things fail with the new chick so I can say, that’s a shame 😆🍻
@@rdixon9557 pathetic 🙄🙄
She is still keeping the new guy a secret. She told me there were many issues, naming them but yet we were together for 3 years
Good video, spot on!
They even ganged up against me. I'm getting threats from the new supply coz I exposed him.
This is what happens when u try to warn the other person, you'll be the crazy one!
Narcs will tell the new person you're crazy, insecure, and was doing them so wrong, so the new person will think your this horrible person and you were dumb for dumping a really great person, and blah blah blah, that's why I refuse to engage or meet the new supply, if you wanna think he's all that, you go right ahead ma'am, you should have the same privilege as I did of experiencing EVERYTHING, Good bad & ugly he has to offer without any warning or heads up from me! People gotta understand the narc told them everything they needed to say to make you look like a monster, them the victim, so the new supply honestly thinks they are doing a good thing and loving someone you or I just did so bad. But narcs can only hide their dark side for so long, it will show up and if they wanna stay & deal with it, then they get whatever they get..Good luck with that! Not my issue anymore
Okay so why be in the way of me meeting someone else
I am dealing with one thank you
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What am l suppose to do he ask me to Merry him.
@@tisaprice2020 say no and run
Am I the narcissist is what I ask myself every day now …
I can answer you that you're ABSOLUTELY NOT! because a narcissistic wouldn't even think that question on his own.. so no worry's surviver and good luck on you healing ❣️
No you are not. Why? Because a big character flaw narcissist have is that they live their lives in denial/ lies and lack accountability.
Although, if you stay with one, especially a covert narc long enough their toxicity may temporarily rub off on you, but that's your minds defense system fighting off reactive abuse and all the cognitive dissonance and gaslighting.
Trust your instincts and uphold your boundries as not everyone deserves a seat at your table of life".
The fact that you've ask yourself that question, means you're not a narcissist...narcs don't have to ability to self reflect or question themselves or the behavior, they justify it.
Best advice 🙌🙌🙌
Glad it was helpful!
The thing is is mine has been with his new supply for 2 years and they’ve just moved abroad together, like how we had planned. I feel he’s not future faking with her as they’ve actually moved, it wasn’t fake.
I don’t think for a second they have a rosey great relationship, I can see certain things that look like he’s still the same, but the fact he’s moved with her makes me thing maybe he has calmed down and isn’t a complete psycho now
This resonates with my situation too. The new supply genuinely seems happy too and has been posting about it for just over two years.
Its all fake trust me!
@@RedRose01289 thank you so much for your reply x
Yeah I have to keep telling myself that she isn’t getting it better, she might just be more compliant and easier to control, he hoodwinked me, my mum, everyone we worked with with his charm so it stands to reason he’s done the same with her, hope you’re healing x
They don't change. I'm his fourth wife. And my sister in law and step sons stated he did everyone of us the same..
Im very concerned because my ex has a very inappropriate relationship with his daughter. As though she is his girlfriend. Weird sick shit.
What if he doesn't post their pictures online....he got marriage 6 months after the divorce and i asked him did he love her and he said nothing. I said yeah i know you don’t because its too soon after a 27 year marriage to me. He hated me because i stood up for myself and i didn't fear him
Could the lovebombing stage last longer than a few months? The narc ex has been with the new person for a year now.
I almost last one year. That not means nothing, thr relationship excepting first two months was not good at all. Just he is being more permissive, a yes person, people pleasing or afraid of abandonment.
But when they don’t fancy you and they tell you then it is you!!!!!
Blocking gosh no contact lol I ran after being forced into geting we'd omg then I got away then harrased via post ect gosh like a bad penny he got go away. Rang a support system gosh I tried not contact hom but the letters. Gifts must kerp coming
Mine is f
Dating a new woman and is having sex with another whom he has broke up with and is now dating again. He said he isn't having sex with the new girl he is dating. He said he is taking it slow. He didn't take it slow with me. He pressured me for sex. As crazy as it is he definitely is vengeful to me.
Sure for a minute
Nah that's the point. It isn't exactly the same. Sometimes with new supply they do everything they never did but promised or were asked to do. That's what I heard many times. It's like those clowns can't make spontaneous gesture they learn it from previous supply to use it on new
What is it with Americans and church ?
th-cam.com/video/BnDvRZ5Cv3g/w-d-xo.html
They are mental 😂
Organize your garage dude