People are so quick to blame her for the deaths of her co workers and all she did was repeatedly tell this nut case she had no interest in him whatsoever even if he was the last man on earth
I like that, “I have decided that I don’t want to have a relationship with you and I am certain I will not change my mind.” I have said something like that to this guy I knew back in high school who wouldn’t take no for an answer and it worked a little but I still had to take further measures to get rid of all means of communication and he no longer bothers me anymore nor has any way to contact me whatsoever.
after reading DeBeckers book, It's interesting to have watched Shoshana Roberts 10 hour walk through New York, while being catcalled, even though so many men have complained about it, while also making their own remarks about Shoshana's body, etc. but if you have read deBeckers books, you can spot all sorts of attempts at manipulating her into conversation..."I'm too ugly, for you to talk to?"
"I'm not interested. No means no. I'm not ever interested in you, Richard Farley. Read my lips. NO. What part do you not understand? The "N" or the "O"? They spell "NO".
I wish people would stop victim blaming Laura, she said NO on multiple occasions. He stalked her for FOUR YEARS! no one at her job did anything about this . Richard is to blame, he is the one who committed the crime, he is the one who couldn't take no for an answer, he is the one who took lives, he is the one who had the unhealthy obsession.What do you want Laura to do? It was 1988, there were NO stalking laws back then in California!!!!! - Also we don't need a man to mansplain what stalking and harassment is, most women have experienced it
I watched the movie about this when he made threats he should not have been allowed to purchase guns when he bought all those guns that should have showed up the police should have came to his house and took all his guns away and regularly checked to see if he bought any in the meantime the police never do anything to it's all over with
ShadowbirdX24 She did everything she was supposed to. You didn't miss anything. In fact, after this horrible shooting, the court commissioner said at the time she made the restraining order permanent, 'Pieces of paper, sadly, do NOT stop bullets'. How true.
NoPCsHere I have the same question she said she wouldn’t have gotten the restraining order but what other course of action could she have taken because this man was not going to leave her alone
I think I have to tell my father "I've decided that I don't want you in my life and I am 100% certain the decision won't change". He keeps texting me occasionally (after 10 years of no contact), and I keep repeating "Do not text or call me". WTF?!
In "The Gift of Fear", DeBecker discussed that if you tell someone you don't want to talk to them 10 times, you ARE talking to them - 9 more times than you wanted to. That is why he says make the rejection explicit as you cited above, and then after that, do not respond.
Come on! Just go out with me please? No Please No Please No Please No Please No Please I said NO I don't want to go out with you. Just leave me alone Hey! I'm not taking No for an answer
Seems like things have not changed much. I've been stalked 3 times by men, and I told them to get lost, behalf to nicely the first time. Certainly not been polite the second time, I've been quite harsh. Not to forget that women stalk to.
We now know their are women stalkers and abusers. Statistically not as many, obviously, but now there's a problem of not taking men seriously when it happens.
Umm this woman told me to get lost if you was the last man on earth I wouldn't date you 3 months later I married her had two kids well the eyes never lie I could tell she like me by looking into her eyes like I said the eyes never lie
What I feel she should of stopped it early on. How does she feel 7 people died because of her and I blame the company too. When he gave her that toy she should have thrown it and called police. Their was a little girl that lost her mommy. She should have stopped it from day one
Are you serious? You're going to victim blame her and wonder how she feels about 7 people getting killed? It wasn't HER fault at all. It was Richard Farley's fault. Period. She tried her best, the company was at fault, yes, but you try stopping a sick maniac like Farley from day one. Give me a freaking break.
You've got serious mental problems if you think it's her fault that some psychopath decided to go on a shooting spree. Maybe you should do some research, stalking wasn't against the law at the time this happened and the reason she waited so long to get a restraining order is fear of what he would do. The police and the company failed Laura BIG TIME by not reporting him to the police when he threatened to kill people if he was fired. THEY are the ones responsible and so is the NRA for making it too easy for nutcases like this to get guns and he had a ridiculous amount. I sure hope you never find yourself in a position like Laura's, but if you do, maybe people will blame you and you'll see how it feels.
@michellerothenbusch2914 7 people lost their lives because Richard Farley chose to act as he did. Laura Black had nothing to do with their deaths. Person A (Richard Farley in this context) is _not_ owed Person B's (Laura Black in this context) attention just because Person A is interested in/attracted to/ _obsessed with_ Person B. Not. Owed. _Anything._
The Gift of Fear is one of my favorite books, ever.
Great information.
We're probably the only species to override our intuition.
Laura Black needs to have her own episode of Obsession: Dark Desires.
Most definitely!!!!! Hopefully season 6 or season 7!!!!!!!???!!
People are so quick to blame her for the deaths of her co workers and all she did was repeatedly tell this nut case she had no interest in him whatsoever even if he was the last man on earth
I like that, “I have decided that I don’t want to have a relationship with you and I am certain I will not change my mind.” I have said something like that to this guy I knew back in high school who wouldn’t take no for an answer and it worked a little but I still had to take further measures to get rid of all means of communication and he no longer bothers me anymore nor has any way to contact me whatsoever.
after reading DeBeckers book, It's interesting to have watched Shoshana Roberts 10 hour walk through New York, while being catcalled, even though so many men have complained about it, while also making their own remarks about Shoshana's body, etc. but if you have read deBeckers books, you can spot all sorts of attempts at manipulating her into conversation..."I'm too ugly, for you to talk to?"
DeBecker is the realest 💯
"I'm not interested. No means no. I'm not ever interested in you, Richard Farley. Read my lips. NO. What part do you not understand? The "N" or the "O"? They spell "NO".
And that wouldn’t have stopped him. She told him “no” repeatedly and he was relentless.
I wish people would stop victim blaming Laura, she said NO on multiple occasions. He stalked her for FOUR YEARS! no one at her job did anything about this . Richard is to blame, he is the one who committed the crime, he is the one who couldn't take no for an answer, he is the one who took lives, he is the one who had the unhealthy obsession.What do you want Laura to do? It was 1988, there were NO stalking laws back then in California!!!!! - Also we don't need a man to mansplain what stalking and harassment is, most women have experienced it
So glad I'm not easily tamed
I watched the movie about this when he made threats he should not have been allowed to purchase guns when he bought all those guns that should have showed up the police should have came to his house and took all his guns away and regularly checked to see if he bought any in the meantime the police never do anything to it's all over with
i dont understand,how would Laura have done things differently without the TRO,did i miss something
ShadowbirdX24 She did everything she was supposed to. You didn't miss anything. In fact, after this horrible shooting, the court commissioner said at the time she made the restraining order permanent, 'Pieces of paper, sadly, do NOT stop bullets'. How true.
NoPCsHere I have the same question she said she wouldn’t have gotten the restraining order but what other course of action could she have taken because this man was not going to leave her alone
I think I have to tell my father "I've decided that I don't want you in my life and I am 100% certain the decision won't change". He keeps texting me occasionally (after 10 years of no contact), and I keep repeating "Do not text or call me". WTF?!
In "The Gift of Fear", DeBecker discussed that if you tell someone you don't want to talk to them 10 times, you ARE talking to them - 9 more times than you wanted to. That is why he says make the rejection explicit as you cited above, and then after that, do not respond.
Come on! Just go out with me please?
No
Please
No
Please
No
Please
No
Please
No
Please
I said NO
I don't want to go out with you. Just leave me alone
Hey! I'm not taking No for an answer
Women are permitted to do whatever the hell they want. They don't call you forty times or stalk men because they just don't want to.
Seems like things have not changed much. I've been stalked 3 times by men, and I told them to get lost, behalf to nicely the first time. Certainly not been polite the second time, I've been quite harsh. Not to forget that women stalk to.
Gavin de becker would have been my dad. He was born in 1954.
Thats right
Is there anything women could do to combat kidnapers/rapists/killers just like few trust worthy tips suggested to avoid men stalking?
We now know their are women stalkers and abusers. Statistically not as many, obviously, but now there's a problem of not taking men seriously when it happens.
Awful audio - not worth listening to.
Umm this woman told me to get lost if you was the last man on earth I wouldn't date you 3 months later I married her had two kids well the eyes never lie I could tell she like me by looking into her eyes like I said the eyes never lie
What a terrible patronizing interviewer.
What I feel she should of stopped it early on. How does she feel 7 people died because of her and I blame the company too. When he gave her that toy she should have thrown it and called police. Their was a little girl that lost her mommy. She should have stopped it from day one
Are you serious? You're going to victim blame her and wonder how she feels about 7 people getting killed? It wasn't HER fault at all. It was Richard Farley's fault. Period. She tried her best, the company was at fault, yes, but you try stopping a sick maniac like Farley from day one. Give me a freaking break.
You've got serious mental problems if you think it's her fault that some psychopath decided to go on a shooting spree. Maybe you should do some research, stalking wasn't against the law at the time this happened and the reason she waited so long to get a restraining order is fear of what he would do. The police and the company failed Laura BIG TIME by not reporting him to the police when he threatened to kill people if he was fired. THEY are the ones responsible and so is the NRA for making it too easy for nutcases like this to get guns and he had a ridiculous amount. I sure hope you never find yourself in a position like Laura's, but if you do, maybe people will blame you and you'll see how it feels.
@michellerothenbusch2914
7 people lost their lives because Richard Farley chose to act as he did. Laura Black had nothing to do with their deaths. Person A (Richard Farley in this context) is _not_ owed Person B's (Laura Black in this context) attention just because Person A is interested in/attracted to/ _obsessed with_ Person B.
Not. Owed. _Anything._
What a disgusting comment. I can't believe you are blaming Laura Black. Are you willfully stupid?