The biggest problem with the narcissist is no one is home. I mean there is no basic agreement that everyone deserves respect. So you can’t assume your thoughts and beliefs about people will be shared by the narcissist it will not. So you’re dealing with a very sick person who constructs relationships by their personal feelings in the moment and don’t have that basic commonality of being just another human being. They lack that. And you cannot have a close relationship with such a selfish minded person.
according to me ex "respect is earned not given" so she can treat anyone badly until she decides they deserve some respect. where i respect everyone i speak to i dont know you but i respect you already its up to you how you spend that respect if that makes sense? a narc cant do that you gotta earn their respect theres a difference.
@ I had a teenager pull that on me in a foods class when I was working at a high school. She was rude and snotty to everyone and didn’t like being called on it I looked at her and said oh cool …so who goes first??? I noticed a little shift after that day
You perfectly described my mother. No matter what she’s always right…facts, reasoning and logic really piss her off, and her next actions and words are ones aimed to make me feel bad about myself.
This absolutely nails the experiences I've had in my recent 4-year relationship. I'm 73 and the lady is 74. This condition knows no age boundaries. Thank you, Lise. Now I understand. Fortunately, the relationship just ended!!
@danielepp3113 indeed I do like his work too. Just a bit long and you have to be in the right zone to properly absorb it. I find her work much easier to digest. Also for the relationship side it's more geared for what I need to hear honestly. I have a pattern of PD partners and I'm on my 3rd. She was very covert and even with teacher her and both identified as victims of this kind of abuse she fooled me. So it's a difficult situation anytime we deal with a person who is dysfunctional. Peace and love to all, God grace and mercy upon us all.
Lise - you literally hit the nail on the head, using words that we feel, but cannot transfer from thoughts and feelings into speech, or articulate - you read our minds - keep up the incredible work - you have no idea how much you help us
Thank you so much Lise, i can not remember a single day with my npd/bpd ex gf without a fight , almost everyday walking on eggshells and at the end of the day there was a thing or two that she brought up to fight and argue. When i was about to leave she would have begged like a child to give her another chance and then .... Silent treatment for a week or two till she get a pass to resume her bad behaviors 😂😂😂. Now I'm free for 11 months went fully nc but her damage was so huge to bear that it took me so long to heal. Am still healing but im happier than thee time being with her. Your vids helped a lot , thx from the bottom of my heart ❤
Nothing worse than going home after a long day knowing 100% there is going to be a fight, you don’t know what it’ll be about that night, but you know there will be one, and you will have to apologize. Sometimes they’ll start during the day before you even get home, but will be livid if you didn’t hurry home as soon as possible. Damned if you do damned if you don’t, literally damned no matter what you do or say, there is no winning and no resolution for you.
Congrats on NC with her. These energy vampires are brought into our lives to mirror back the parts of us that need healing ❤️🩹 and raises our consciousness 💗💯✨
Over time, you gradually become numb-losing every sense. Paralyzed by the venom, consumed by anxiety, trapped, furious... And does she take any accountability? Not a chance. I feel you, bro. ♥️ 100%
@ good discription.. i too became numb. i lived under blind compliance . i just did whatever i was told … that was the only way i could have any sense of peace .. if you can even call it that .. best plan ? RUN !! and never look back
Narcissists hate themselves. Which is why you're always the brunt of their hatred. Because you have told them "it's okay to hate me because I'll love you anyway" Those who understand unconditional love are always a narcissist prime target
well when its ones mother and if one is a child, they have no chiice but to love the mother... they guna run away and die homeless? Nope. Its really bad and cruel of nature.
oh Lise . spot on right down the line . i thank God daily i am out of her web.. you guys that may be in this spot …RUN. !!! you can’t be good enough to fix her . nice enough to keep her happy . believe me i tried for 40 years.. but thankfully i reconnected with a Lady i have known since we were 5 years old and has ALWAYS been good to me . we married a year ago and we are both very happy together.. dont settle for less . thank you again Lise 🙏🏼. you are helping so many guys ! and happy New Year
Dad passed away, got hit by a car on Citibike, had a GI surgery, but I didn’t spend enough time with her and she always felt lonely. All of this despite me seeing her twice a month, planning every date, cooking 5 course meals, pleasing her in every way. “You don’t care about me”, “I felt lonely the entire time dating you”, “I want to date other people” (even though I already am). Good riddance. This video was so accurate it’s scary.
That sounds like my mom. Made my dad miserable with those same things, for 30 years. My mom has borderline personality disorder. They are narcissistic, cluster b.
I would use every angle imaginable, and it was always me belittling her. When I learned how to not react to her, she just escalated the fight. And she was always in the right. And always about her needs. The biggest red flag was when my mom passed away. She didn’t have any empathy at all. She didn’t sit down to comfort myself or my kids. She just complained about what was wrong with her.
Dude this is what the creature behaves like with me. Divorced her after years of trauma, and she continues. Because I can't get away from communicating with her due to child
@josmclove4426 That's not fair. I'm empty inside, and it's very damaging to my relationships. I have to consciously plan out my reactions and choose my words in situations like death or illness. It's from being raised by a narcissist. I learned early that my feelings don't matter, so at some point I stopped having them. I think narcissists have a lot of feelings, just not for anyone else. I don't even have them for myself. I just long to be alone, but you gotta make a living.
20 years in what I like to call "Dante's 2nd level of domestic Hell" with a vulnerable narc, trying to hold on to my relationship with our two autistic kids. We finally arrived at the inevitable when she thought she found a new source for narcissistic supply. Completely destroyed in the break-up, I lost or gave up my home and everything I own, even my dog. It got bad enough that I had to call our State Troopers, then fled the house, busted down to just my truck and some clothes. It goes without saying she's doing the parental alienation thing, of course. Her new "supply" didn't sign up to take over payments, so she's gone even further over the mental edge. This is what pathology looks like - When my dearly beloved realized our state court system wont abide parental alienation because they see it as a form of child abuse, she balked! Her need to impose pain and suffering is so great, she can't proceed with the divorce she demanded. Because of that, she's not getting the alimony and child support she had been threatening me with for years. Since I know damned well she's hurting financially, probably facing bankruptcy, I reached out to her via text message and offered to pay the mortgage, heating fuel, electricity and groceries, no questions asked, no strings attached, just "Here's the money. Please take it." SHE'S FIGHTING ME ON IT! She's refusing to cooperate and blaming me! I'm also "guilty" of failing to provide her the money I haven't given her before this, and haven't yet given her in the future. Imagine going to court, facing an avalanche of insults and accusations and then trying to explain something like this to the judge.
The weather, unexpectedly needing eggs on a day off, and therefore, "accidentally" sleeping with her ex. I should have made it sunny, I guess. But wait... she's vegan???
Brilliantly accurate. If you do manage to please somebody like this their gratitude lasts minutes then your on the back foot again. She could look like a supermodel but the mental torture is not worth the relationship. I became more and more depleted until I was a wreck. They choose chaos and aggravation over peace and love. Get away quickly if possible and keep them out of your life. They're very persuasive but it's all lies.
This is how my ex with BPD was... The most up and down 8 months of my life ... The sex was other worldly... I'm glad I got out. Took me over a year to get over it and heal.
@@MasterandMargarita01from watching my mom and dad go through it it really just depends on her. You will always be at the mercy of how she feels, there will be no shared respect, a lifetime of begging for forgiveness for any perceived grievance.
Lise, You’re great! You’re already the most profund specialist in that issue… But even so, you go deeper. This vídeo is absolutely acurrate! My experience of 10 years support it. Plus 1,5 years beeing apart… very dificult that It’s impossible, for those reasons, to help that woman to deal with her disorder. It’s also a pain for me.
You described my wife to a tee. All 10 traits between this video and the last are things she does regularly. And thank you for describing the splitting part. I knew it was a characteristic of covert narcissists, but I never knew the term for it.
It’s so crazy when almost ALL of these things like 99% of these are spot on with my ex gf. Incredible when you get away and finally heal, took me years. Please disconnect completely, the more you identify this with this personality disorder and believe it, you’ll accept and get away. Believe me when you go no contact they will be back, be prepared to ignore or grey rock, you’ll feel better
I am very thankful for videos like these. I really started to understand people so much more. Being gas-lit can really mess with your mind. It is good hear the truth from a professional. Now I am better how to deal with a narcissists. When you choose to be a more person, some people may see it as an opportunity to take advantage. That's very sad.
You nailed it again. Took 20 years have this marriage end but thank goodness. Better late than never! I can't recall a single time she EVER admitted she was wrong about ANYTHING or apologize for anything. Yet I stuck with it for wayyyyy toooo long.
I was foolish enough to return to the clutches of my narcissist. After everything, I convinced myself it might be easier since we share a home and a life full of tangled possessions. She dangled just enough empty promises, little hints of change, to pull me back in. I wanted to believe them. But barely a week after I returned-after being forced out of my own home for 30 days on the back of her false accusations-the truth slammed into me. It was all just another twisted trap. I knew, deep down, that I was walking into it. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could flip the script, take control, and fix things while I was on the inside. I should have known better. Instead, I’ve handed her and her enablers even more ammunition, a fresh vein of chaos for them to exploit. It’s sickening to find myself here again, but I can’t even blame anyone else this time. I knew what I was dealing with. This is the price I pay for trying to salvage something from the ashes of a fire that’s long since burned me alive. I hate myself for being so blind, so desperate to believe in something better. Now, all that’s left is to untangle myself again, piece by piece, and crawl out of this mess. I don’t know how yet, but I have to. There’s no other way forward.
I and many others were as hopeful as you and have done the same thing. Try to forgive yourself. You are faithful, Forgiving, Loyal and hopeful. Those are good traits. Sadly, traits that she saw in you early in your relationship that caused her to pray upon you. Being a good person is not a bad thing, Praying upon a good person is! Good health to you!
Wishing you the best on your escape and recovery🙏🏼 It’s painful. I’m now watching my 23 yo son enter back into yet another highly toxic relationship, this time with a narcissist. Last yrs hell was a borderline. How, why, HOW he can walk into this firestorm again, after all he (and we as his family) went through last yr, I cannot wrap my head around. These disordered women must have some kind of strange power to be able to do this to such incredible men. Our son is kind, so loving, forgiving, thoughtful, patient, affectionate, handsome, athletic, creative, and high performing in his giftings. Why choose bottom of the barrel?? I’m not y’all, so don’t understand. I sure wish each of you a successful escape, and I pray a strong and healthy recovery of yourselves that LASTS.🙏🏼
You can do it man. You have to do it for your own sake. I have done similar to what you described and I am pulling myself back up as well. I have faith that you can because you must. 🙏
Lil reflective to end 2024. This is exactly how my ex gf was/is. She thankfully discarded me 12mos ago for a guy she monkeybranched to but am sure she will cycle out of that trying return to me again...no thanks. Im a 👻
I don't know why this video was presented to me today, but I needed it. God...? Maybe... dealing with a female narcissistic partner at work, this was invigorating.
Most videos are geared towards narcissist partners and only some towards parents and even less so those towards coworkers but the job market is full of them. They often have their little cliques and play a convincing game of the office friendly, knowledgeable person but in the background they chose one person to unleash their insecurities at when nobody suspected them...good luck to you, now there are more videos with helpful advice than ever before. It's possible to defend yourself but it isn't an easy battle especially if you have to work with them and can't ignore them and only do your own work. Practice grey rocking, indifference, growing your own confidence, keeping to yourself and evaluating real well who you can trust at work.
Absolutely my ex wife and ex gf. And they project all these exact issues on you. Rigid thinking (often shows up in need for order), splitting, black and white thinking. Ex disconnected as soon as she moved to Belgium & I said I couldn't spend as much time supporting her. Why oh why is this condition so common, especially in women imo?
Society has allowed women to run rampant with virtually no consequences for bad choices and bad behavior. To a large extent civilization has been gas lighter by feminism movements. Instead of an individual being gaslit by a narcissist we are getting massively gaslit by feminist ideology. Happy wife happy life! 😂 Old school rules for women existed to protect them from themselves. Those rules are gone and they can take half your money and get the house anytime they choose to do so. As long as this is allowed civilization will continue to erode. It's literally that simple. Very few women have the mental capabilities to understand the world on the same level as a mature sober man. Even lower level girls still end up with lots of govt benefits for the kids and child support etc. Revoke female suffrage and it all goes back to normal.
Imagine your child accidentally dropping a $3 plate from Target and your wife, the mother of that child, going into a two hour nuclear meltdown about how horrible her life is 😢
Deal with it. Everyone has problems and nobody is perfect. Give support, give it your all, GOD IS THE ONE THAT WILL SEE YOUR KINDNESS AND GOOD FORGIVING HEART
I am done with her. I am going to start 2025 with a fresh mindset and the lessons learnt. I tried to help her out of this chaos, what I got is silent treatment, cold corners of her heart, illusion of lies and a black whole that consumes all my energy without giving anything back. You can't turn them around if they don't wish to. I don't want to weigh myself down with hurt or negative emotions, my heart is too pure for that, I let her go with grace, cause I did learn valuable lessons that will stay with me for life. I see her future and feel so helpless cause it is dark if she does not work on herself. But I don't want to stay in the barren land where the river of emotions and love does not flow. I tried a sow the seed of a beautiful relationship, but she destroyed it like a flood. I have to find myself again, love myself again and begin a new journey weaved in the beauty of life untethered to anything that can destroy my peace, joy, love and everything else. I let her go with grace to find me again.
When i finally separated from my ex-wife, who is a narcissist, in my opinion, I never felt better. After the initial anger, resentment, grief and frstration from all the abuse I put myself through trying to make it work, I finally became indifferent. I was so content and happy almost all the time. It was a high that I rode for many years afterward. I just felt free. It was liek waking up from a nightmare. I couldn't believe I was capable of feeling this good. I havent talk to or seen my ex wife since we separated and I never plan on it. She will get nothing but silence and absence from me. Shes tried to hoover here and there and its not happening. I want nothing to do with her.
Spot on timing. Im struggling with the brain fog of a post narcissistic relationship. This validated that Im not crazy, I saw these patterns. I wasn't overreacting. Although I did overreact at the end when I finally broke. Because of this I question myself despite overwhelming evidence.
This is how I feel. I went on two dates with the same girl after my ex. I saw all the old patterns right away. Now I have zero interest. Likes and messages go unanswered. Just thinking about a relationship makes me aggitated and frustrated. It's my expectation through experience that a relationship will always be difficult. I have no interest.
Lise. Your videos genrally have been unbelievably helpful. I like hearing your explanations. But man. I was off watching narc explanation videos for a couple.of months. I thought i was ok. Then my ex wife and then my sister have been hitting me.non stop. You can ask them what do you want from me, so I can fix it.or apologize if i am wrong? These bloody people cannot tell you. They want.to punish because you refuse to continue to be used by them emotionally. Ita disgusting.im so angry with myself for having a child with such a person. But my sister? I cant believe how she changed. My nasty narc father and codependent mother caused this. And then.we are now.adults and having to take.full responsibility for our "choices" after being raised in that hellhole of physical emotional and psychological abuse. Ive worked on myself a lot.
Thank you for articulating these traits and behaviors. I really need to find some healthy place to at least take long breaks from this dynamic. Work, the gym, exercise only go so far. The bar can quickly become its own problem, obviously, but there are people there. Church only lasts so long. Healthy hobbies and volunteer work, friends, right?
ln 2025 l highly recommend everyone to read keezano’s book Your Life Your Game. It beautifully shows how connecting with God and focusing on your family can lead to spiritual growth, stronger relationships, and success in both your personal and professional life. This book truly changed my life… A must-read. God bless!💟
Damn this is sad because I just realized my ex was a covert narcissist… I tried to work everything even when I was wrong and I held myself accountable 💯
This is more common than I thought, but it helps a lot to understand what's going on, I've been dealing with this for 29 years. It's not hard to know if you've done something wrong or not. So I take it with a grain of salt now.
So glad I no longer have to deal with any of this.. My ex wife was/is just a flat out pathological narcissist, just a horrible, horrible person and mother. Several professionals also felt she had/has borderline personality disorder, ..but she would never go for counseling, even when ordered by the court. Mix in alcohol and substance ab use which was her family's hobby, and you get nothing but absolute misery.
Yikes. That's my mom. When I was a kid, I never really understood why my mom's "friends" wouldn't answer the door sometimes when they were obviously home. I was uncomfortable about it even as a little kid. By my early teens, I knew something was wrong with her and I started to not like her either, but was also emotionally crippled and scared to be without her. It's a horrible paradox. She's 95 and lives with me now and she hasn't changed a bit. If anything she is worse. She displays all of these traits mentioned. Then she gets on her phone, that *I* pay for, and talk shit to her old co-workers to whom she never showed her crazy side. They were the control group. If they only knew how she talks about them and tells their personal business.
you can - reach out to good friends who you know are on your side - seek professional help to heal potential codependency issues - keep learning about personality disorders to know what you are dealing with - take a recovery course (Lise has one on her website, Kenny Weiss or Les Carter and many others do to) - treat yourself as your best friend and talk to yourself as you would to your best friend (voice messages to yourself giving yourself compassion and understanding, hugging yourself) - RAIN meditation by Tara Brach to learn to connect to and process your emotions instead if pushing them away - take it slow so you don't overwhelm yourself, one thing at a time, if you feel you are losing yourself in your head try to turn back to reality by naming what you see in front of you, going out to meet people, call a friend etc. and when you are reregulated you can gently get back to touch your pain with compassion and understanding - say no to everything and everyone that bothers you and is not immediately necessary - if possible no porn no social media no news, the world happens without you losing energy by processing useless information - write down what helps you and what you are thankful for in your life those are some things that helped me in the last 14 months after being discarded, hope one or two ideas are helpful all the best for you
These people live an alternate reality that they've mentally created and expect everyone else to adapt to. She thinks the world revolves around her and will climb anyone's back to get her way. Any request she makes must be satisfied. Otherwise, she will gossip and backstab anyone who tells her no. Anyone who she perceives to surpass her success will be spoken negatively about. A discussion won't work to resolve the issue. Eventually, a misunderstanding will arise with her that forces you to reexamine the relationship altogether, and an emotionally mature person soon finds that they have more to lose than gain by remaining tethered to this person.
i experienced a lot of these behaviours with someone who has bpd. are these common traits there as well? it was more like ghosting, disappearing, defending, victim mentality, crying, blame shifting to others, work etc and passive aggressive behaviour, - not direct confrontation or anger outbursts
Basically if you’re calm you are condescending, fake, patronizing, pedantic, lecturing. If you show emotion you are “making it about you “ you being a drama queen , too sensitive, needy, wanting a fight. You literally can’t win. They only want you to follow them step for step not be an actual living sentient being.
As I told my ex there were 2 ways to do everything - her way and the wrong way. She said I was intolerant because I didn’t think just like her. I suggested she look up the meaning of the word, which went over well as you might guess.
The most prominent traits on this list with the covert type woman I had in my life was: Extreme Jealousy - anything that could be viewed as sexual competition (working with female customers, getting support from female administrators at work, past relationships, and famous people. It was completely out of the order to make a positive comment about a female superhero (such as Wonder-woman) as any of these things would trigger her insecurities and create a meltdown. Passive Aggression: Every time she got a "no" or even a "not now, later" she would go into passive aggressive tactics to try to manipulate me to do what she wanted. She would be catty and mean for weeks on the end. The game ended after the fact that what she wanted me to change no longer was possible. Then suddenly she was a peach and loving again. Distrust: she never believed anything I said and claimed that she always had to check what I said. It could be a claim about politics or an event in the world and she never would trust a word. That makes conversations about anything quite pointless I think. When I say the end started to stand up for my claims and not accept that she is not the arbiter of truth, she would predictably go into another meltdown of crying, cattiness and mean spirited slights. Insane... I realized at the end that it is ok to leave a relationship that makes you feel bad. You don't need a diagnosis on the partner and you don't need their permission. What makes it hard is however that you don't want to hurt them. And they are very good at ostentatiously displaying vulnerability to get you to do what they want.
I've had women like that, sadly more than twice. It's mind blowing, disgusting, horrible...no words. Can't stand toxic behaviour, especially narcisist type. I am an empath, it literally kills me, that kind of emotional stress & damage, you have with that kind of women type.
My ex was like this. We could not have a calm discussion. She would just scream even if i said "please don't yell at me." Once she became violent that was it for me.
I lived this for 30 years. I took those vows way too seriously. It's ending in divorce anyway. Gents, just walk away as soon as you can if you're attached to a women like this.
Instead of labelling people with disorders written in the DSM by the patriarchy I look at astrology and human design aspects and practice astrotherapy and people don’t feel as defeated, broken and ashamed
Hello Lise - thank you for sharing your expertise! Could you provide your thought on FCN night life obsession? I feel like even if the house is on fire, she has to attend…
My ex went out of her way to irritate me.She knew I was sensitive to too much garlic she would load up food with heaps of of garlic .Another classic I am also lactose intolerant she just loved cooking rich cream dishes .she went out of her way to piss me off.
This explained a lot about my wife, sadly she will never seek help, she is too perfect for that and we have 2 kids, they are 8 and 5, so leaving her is not an option for me, is there anything i as a husband could do?
@@Ppsy_777 basically, except bpd women never really discard you, just push you away until you’re about to leave then Hoover you back in with guilt, fake “apologies” and false promises.
@@Ppsy_777 they are more than likely covert narcs then in my opinion/experience. BPDs will not leave and will not let you go, even when you tell them to, even when you physically leave, even if they find someone else that has more than you to offer and is willing to give it all to her, they’re to insecure to believe someone else will take them until they have for a period of time already, even then they don’t believe they’ll stay. Narcs believe they have or will find someone better. To me a severe BPD is worse than a narc, because not only do they have many narcissistic traits, nearly all of them, they also have all the BPD traits. Ive had both in my life my whole life, the BPDs messed me up way more than any of the NPDs. I wish I would have been discarded
Hi Lise, thank you for all the information you provide. I would like to ask one question: is it possible to have one parent covert narcissist and another parent with narcissist personality disorder? Thank you in advance
They were called "femme fatale" but my problem comes from my mother... and my sisters... I didn't lived a life but a nightmare 😢 I'm the scapegoat btw. Most channels about narcissistic women are about couples but few about mothers. The taboo about narcissistic mothers seems unbreakable.
Right in a time of a boys crisis we need help! We are dealing with uncontrolled unconcious mothers. I love her, but the avoidant dismissive sht is so destructive. Point things out, you’re the problem.
Just right now,i was heating up some fpod in my toaster oven,this Narc takes a frozen chicken patty and decided to cook it in my food while im using my toaster oven in my house with my food,i live alone,She wanted to tell me something instead of talk about the tactic she just performed
Sounds like my wife. In my opinion, for men in relationships with low EQ wives, it really doesn’t matter if she is a covert narcissist or not, the effects are the same.
Dear Mrs. Lise, You are describing my biological mother, actually a monster. Her words: "Your child will be insulting me". Or reporting me to the police (with a pile of lies) for being against a war criminal Slobodan Milošević. Or calling the company I worked with...Or holding the grudge against my father even after 60 years...Or repeating: "You were afraid to be born...You didn't want to be born...". Or telling literally unknown people how she "believes in god", while atavistically cursing people who don't share her political views...
Wow my ex…still have a broken heart but interesting. She’d try to tell me I was the crazy person and I almost started second guessing a lot of what she was saying.
The biggest problem with the narcissist is no one is home. I mean there is no basic agreement that everyone deserves respect. So you can’t assume your thoughts and beliefs about people will be shared by the narcissist it will not. So you’re dealing with a very sick person who constructs relationships by their personal feelings in the moment and don’t have that basic commonality of being just another human being. They lack that. And you cannot have a close relationship with such a selfish minded person.
100%
Spot on!
Well said!! ⚡️
according to me ex "respect is earned not given" so she can treat anyone badly until she decides they deserve some respect. where i respect everyone i speak to i dont know you but i respect you already its up to you how you spend that respect if that makes sense? a narc cant do that you gotta earn their respect theres a difference.
@ I had a teenager pull that on me in a foods class when I was working at a high school. She was rude and snotty to everyone and didn’t like being called on it
I looked at her and said oh cool …so who goes first??? I noticed a little shift after that day
You perfectly described my mother. No matter what she’s always right…facts, reasoning and logic really piss her off, and her next actions and words are ones aimed to make me feel bad about myself.
This absolutely nails the experiences I've had in my recent 4-year relationship. I'm 73 and the lady is 74. This condition knows no age boundaries. Thank you, Lise. Now I understand. Fortunately, the relationship just ended!!
😂😂74 and still in the game, bravo. I've checked out at 46.
A gem among the murky waters online. Thank you very much. 😢
Do You follow Sam Vaknin?
@danielepp3113 indeed I do like his work too. Just a bit long and you have to be in the right zone to properly absorb it. I find her work much easier to digest. Also for the relationship side it's more geared for what I need to hear honestly. I have a pattern of PD partners and I'm on my 3rd. She was very covert and even with teacher her and both identified as victims of this kind of abuse she fooled me. So it's a difficult situation anytime we deal with a person who is dysfunctional. Peace and love to all, God grace and mercy upon us all.
Lise - you literally hit the nail on the head, using words that we feel, but cannot transfer from thoughts and feelings into speech, or articulate - you read our minds - keep up the incredible work - you have no idea how much you help us
I second that.
100%
Thank you so much Lise, i can not remember a single day with my npd/bpd ex gf without a fight , almost everyday walking on eggshells and at the end of the day there was a thing or two that she brought up to fight and argue. When i was about to leave she would have begged like a child to give her another chance and then .... Silent treatment for a week or two till she get a pass to resume her bad behaviors 😂😂😂. Now I'm free for 11 months went fully nc but her damage was so huge to bear that it took me so long to heal.
Am still healing but im happier than thee time being with her.
Your vids helped a lot , thx from the bottom of my heart ❤
Nothing worse than going home after a long day knowing 100% there is going to be a fight, you don’t know what it’ll be about that night, but you know there will be one, and you will have to apologize. Sometimes they’ll start during the day before you even get home, but will be livid if you didn’t hurry home as soon as possible. Damned if you do damned if you don’t, literally damned no matter what you do or say, there is no winning and no resolution for you.
@@stevennelson2055 like living in a mine field 😞
Congrats on NC with her. These energy vampires are brought into our lives to mirror back the parts of us that need healing ❤️🩹 and raises our consciousness 💗💯✨
Over time, you gradually become numb-losing every sense. Paralyzed by the venom, consumed by anxiety, trapped, furious... And does she take any accountability? Not a chance. I feel you, bro. ♥️ 100%
@ good discription.. i too became numb. i lived under blind compliance . i just did whatever i was told … that was the only way i could have any sense of peace .. if you can even call it that .. best plan ? RUN !! and never look back
Narcissists hate themselves. Which is why you're always the brunt of their hatred. Because you have told them "it's okay to hate me because I'll love you anyway"
Those who understand unconditional love are always a narcissist prime target
Well said!🔥👌🏾
and those that want to see good in others and to "rescue" them...
@@AA-iy4gmouch that hurts! Ever seen a strong man try to rescue a woman that doesn't want to be rescued? I'm lucky I escaped with my life.
well when its ones mother and if one is a child, they have no chiice but to love the mother... they guna run away and die homeless? Nope. Its really bad and cruel of nature.
For those of us who miss the person, these videos are crucial and an excellent reminder of what we'd go back to.
Sad stuff
@@histreasure3189 very.
It might be you missed the love bombing stage, everything else was an illusion
oh Lise . spot on right down the line . i thank God daily i am out of her web.. you guys that may be in this spot …RUN. !!! you can’t be good enough to fix her . nice enough to keep her happy . believe me i tried for 40 years.. but thankfully i reconnected with a Lady i have known since we were 5 years old and has ALWAYS been good to me . we married a year ago and we are both very happy together.. dont settle for less . thank you again Lise 🙏🏼. you are helping so many guys ! and happy New Year
blessings and you are right 100%. Lise is the best too!
Dad passed away, got hit by a car on Citibike, had a GI surgery, but I didn’t spend enough time with her and she always felt lonely. All of this despite me seeing her twice a month, planning every date, cooking 5 course meals, pleasing her in every way. “You don’t care about me”, “I felt lonely the entire time dating you”, “I want to date other people” (even though I already am).
Good riddance. This video was so accurate it’s scary.
Sorry for your loss man.
@ thank you. Wish you healing and peace as well.
That sounds like my mom. Made my dad miserable with those same things, for 30 years. My mom has borderline personality disorder. They are narcissistic, cluster b.
I would use every angle imaginable, and it was always me belittling her. When I learned how to not react to her, she just escalated the fight. And she was always in the right. And always about her needs. The biggest red flag was when my mom passed away. She didn’t have any empathy at all. She didn’t sit down to comfort myself or my kids. She just complained about what was wrong with her.
They are like androids.Empty inside!
@@josmclove4426They are evil!!!!😢
Dude this is what the creature behaves like with me. Divorced her after years of trauma, and she continues. Because I can't get away from communicating with her due to child
@josmclove4426
That's not fair. I'm empty inside, and it's very damaging to my relationships. I have to consciously plan out my reactions and choose my words in situations like death or illness. It's from being raised by a narcissist. I learned early that my feelings don't matter, so at some point I stopped having them. I think narcissists have a lot of feelings, just not for anyone else. I don't even have them for myself. I just long to be alone, but you gotta make a living.
When did you meet my mom? 😂
😂😂😂
Same day she met my wife.
Hey long lost brother! 😂
😂
😂
Even small issues, become a federal case.
lol so true!
Exactly
lol great analogy
20 years in what I like to call "Dante's 2nd level of domestic Hell" with a vulnerable narc, trying to hold on to my relationship with our two autistic kids. We finally arrived at the inevitable when she thought she found a new source for narcissistic supply.
Completely destroyed in the break-up, I lost or gave up my home and everything I own, even my dog. It got bad enough that I had to call our State Troopers, then fled the house, busted down to just my truck and some clothes. It goes without saying she's doing the parental alienation thing, of course.
Her new "supply" didn't sign up to take over payments, so she's gone even further over the mental edge.
This is what pathology looks like - When my dearly beloved realized our state court system wont abide parental alienation because they see it as a form of child abuse, she balked!
Her need to impose pain and suffering is so great, she can't proceed with the divorce she demanded. Because of that, she's not getting the alimony and child support she had been threatening me with for years. Since I know damned well she's hurting financially, probably facing bankruptcy, I reached out to her via text message and offered to pay the mortgage, heating fuel, electricity and groceries, no questions asked, no strings attached, just "Here's the money. Please take it."
SHE'S FIGHTING ME ON IT!
She's refusing to cooperate and blaming me! I'm also "guilty" of failing to provide her the money I haven't given her before this, and haven't yet given her in the future.
Imagine going to court, facing an avalanche of insults and accusations and then trying to explain something like this to the judge.
didn't you notice at beginning of relationship, a triage? "do not put your d### in crazy" , are fun but tainted and contagious.
It wasn’t almost everything, I was blamed for everything that went wrong, including the weather! Yes, I’m in charge of the weather.
Lol, I feel you!
Makes sense ..
I was also in charge of the injuries she suffered while exercising ,
her low calcium levels etc
I get blamed for the things the dog and cats do. I get blamed for anything bad the kids do.
I feel your pain.
The weather, unexpectedly needing eggs on a day off, and therefore, "accidentally" sleeping with her ex. I should have made it sunny, I guess. But wait... she's vegan???
Brilliantly accurate. If you do manage to please somebody like this their gratitude lasts minutes then your on the back foot again. She could look like a supermodel but the mental torture is not worth the relationship. I became more and more depleted until I was a wreck. They choose chaos and aggravation over peace and love. Get away quickly if possible and keep them out of your life. They're very persuasive but it's all lies.
This is how my ex with BPD was... The most up and down 8 months of my life ... The sex was other worldly... I'm glad I got out. Took me over a year to get over it and heal.
Thats why crazy girls are soo much fun. If ur into that (and I am) you have to know how to deal manage her.
5 months of healing and still have more to go but growing everyday 🤙
how were these 8 months for you? how long did the idealization phase last before the first conflicts started?
@@MasterandMargarita01from watching my mom and dad go through it it really just depends on her. You will always be at the mercy of how she feels, there will be no shared respect, a lifetime of begging for forgiveness for any perceived grievance.
@@lavenderkisses9461 and how frequently these situation occur? like on average
Lise, You’re great! You’re already the most profund specialist in that issue… But even so, you go deeper. This vídeo is absolutely acurrate! My experience of 10 years support it. Plus 1,5 years beeing apart… very dificult that It’s impossible, for those reasons, to help that woman to deal with her disorder. It’s also a pain for me.
Lise: a blessing in the field, her specificity is unmatched on line
Hello Lise! 👋 Thank you for taking the time to help us all understand best. Have a Happy New Year!
You described my wife to a tee. All 10 traits between this video and the last are things she does regularly.
And thank you for describing the splitting part. I knew it was a characteristic of covert narcissists, but I never knew the term for it.
It’s so crazy when almost ALL of these things like 99% of these are spot on with my ex gf. Incredible when you get away and finally heal, took me years. Please disconnect completely, the more you identify this with this personality disorder and believe it, you’ll accept and get away. Believe me when you go no contact they will be back, be prepared to ignore or grey rock, you’ll feel better
Lise you are amazing. #9 described my passed situation 100%.
I am very thankful for videos like these. I really started to understand people so much more. Being gas-lit can really mess with your mind. It is good hear the truth from a professional. Now I am better how to deal with a narcissists. When you choose to be a more person, some people may see it as an opportunity to take advantage. That's very sad.
You nailed it again. Took 20 years have this marriage end but thank goodness. Better late than never! I can't recall a single time she EVER admitted she was wrong about ANYTHING or apologize for anything. Yet I stuck with it for wayyyyy toooo long.
You hit the nail on the head with this!
I was foolish enough to return to the clutches of my narcissist. After everything, I convinced myself it might be easier since we share a home and a life full of tangled possessions. She dangled just enough empty promises, little hints of change, to pull me back in. I wanted to believe them. But barely a week after I returned-after being forced out of my own home for 30 days on the back of her false accusations-the truth slammed into me. It was all just another twisted trap.
I knew, deep down, that I was walking into it. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could flip the script, take control, and fix things while I was on the inside. I should have known better. Instead, I’ve handed her and her enablers even more ammunition, a fresh vein of chaos for them to exploit.
It’s sickening to find myself here again, but I can’t even blame anyone else this time. I knew what I was dealing with. This is the price I pay for trying to salvage something from the ashes of a fire that’s long since burned me alive. I hate myself for being so blind, so desperate to believe in something better.
Now, all that’s left is to untangle myself again, piece by piece, and crawl out of this mess. I don’t know how yet, but I have to. There’s no other way forward.
I’m just in the process of leaving my narcissitic wife… and your story definitely serves as an important warning sign. Thanks for sharing it!
I and many others were as hopeful as you and have done the same thing. Try to forgive yourself. You are faithful, Forgiving, Loyal and hopeful. Those are good traits. Sadly, traits that she saw in you early in your relationship that caused her to pray upon you.
Being a good person is not a bad thing, Praying upon a good person is! Good health to you!
Wishing you the best on your escape and recovery🙏🏼 It’s painful. I’m now watching my 23 yo son enter back into yet another highly toxic relationship, this time with a narcissist. Last yrs hell was a borderline. How, why, HOW he can walk into this firestorm again, after all he (and we as his family) went through last yr, I cannot wrap my head around. These disordered women must have some kind of strange power to be able to do this to such incredible men. Our son is kind, so loving, forgiving, thoughtful, patient, affectionate, handsome, athletic, creative, and high performing in his giftings. Why choose bottom of the barrel?? I’m not y’all, so don’t understand. I sure wish each of you a successful escape, and I pray a strong and healthy recovery of yourselves that LASTS.🙏🏼
❤@@kingsladegaming9347
You can do it man. You have to do it for your own sake. I have done similar to what you described and I am pulling myself back up as well. I have faith that you can because you must. 🙏
Lil reflective to end 2024. This is exactly how my ex gf was/is. She thankfully discarded me 12mos ago for a guy she monkeybranched to but am sure she will cycle out of that trying return to me again...no thanks. Im a 👻
It's like you have been taking copious field notes on my last relationship.
I don't know why this video was presented to me today, but I needed it. God...? Maybe... dealing with a female narcissistic partner at work, this was invigorating.
Most videos are geared towards narcissist partners and only some towards parents and even less so those towards coworkers but the job market is full of them. They often have their little cliques and play a convincing game of the office friendly, knowledgeable person but in the background they chose one person to unleash their insecurities at when nobody suspected them...good luck to you, now there are more videos with helpful advice than ever before. It's possible to defend yourself but it isn't an easy battle especially if you have to work with them and can't ignore them and only do your own work.
Practice grey rocking, indifference, growing your own confidence, keeping to yourself and evaluating real well who you can trust at work.
Thank you Lise Leblanc
Thank you very much Lise 🙏
Absolutely my ex wife and ex gf. And they project all these exact issues on you. Rigid thinking (often shows up in need for order), splitting, black and white thinking. Ex disconnected as soon as she moved to Belgium & I said I couldn't spend as much time supporting her. Why oh why is this condition so common, especially in women imo?
Good question @why does it appear that the condition is so common? I also wonder.
Society has allowed women to run rampant with virtually no consequences for bad choices and bad behavior. To a large extent civilization has been gas lighter by feminism movements. Instead of an individual being gaslit by a narcissist we are getting massively gaslit by feminist ideology. Happy wife happy life! 😂 Old school rules for women existed to protect them from themselves. Those rules are gone and they can take half your money and get the house anytime they choose to do so. As long as this is allowed civilization will continue to erode. It's literally that simple. Very few women have the mental capabilities to understand the world on the same level as a mature sober man. Even lower level girls still end up with lots of govt benefits for the kids and child support etc. Revoke female suffrage and it all goes back to normal.
Imagine your child accidentally dropping a $3 plate from Target and your wife, the mother of that child, going into a two hour nuclear meltdown about how horrible her life is 😢
🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🙆🏿♀️
Deal with it. Everyone has problems and nobody is perfect. Give support, give it your all, GOD IS THE ONE THAT WILL SEE YOUR KINDNESS AND GOOD FORGIVING HEART
I've seen that movie before. My wife went into a meltdown because I lit a candle that was given to her as a gift. One small example.
@Rick40years it wasn't your candle to light! I guess I'm well trained after enduring 15 years with a narc
Yep! Every single one of these is true and being on the receiving end of this is absolutely horrible!
I see you met my x wife 😮
You too huh?
Sounds exactly like my (almost) ex wife
My x. He was a Histrionic covert malignant and overt. It was like a narc male and female. Lots of demons in there. 😢
Oh man. To a frickin T
You know my ex, too!? Lol this girl gets around
I am done with her. I am going to start 2025 with a fresh mindset and the lessons learnt. I tried to help her out of this chaos, what I got is silent treatment, cold corners of her heart, illusion of lies and a black whole that consumes all my energy without giving anything back. You can't turn them around if they don't wish to. I don't want to weigh myself down with hurt or negative emotions, my heart is too pure for that, I let her go with grace, cause I did learn valuable lessons that will stay with me for life.
I see her future and feel so helpless cause it is dark if she does not work on herself. But I don't want to stay in the barren land where the river of emotions and love does not flow. I tried a sow the seed of a beautiful relationship, but she destroyed it like a flood. I have to find myself again, love myself again and begin a new journey weaved in the beauty of life untethered to anything that can destroy my peace, joy, love and everything else. I let her go with grace to find me again.
When i finally separated from my ex-wife, who is a narcissist, in my opinion, I never felt better. After the initial anger, resentment, grief and frstration from all the abuse I put myself through trying to make it work, I finally became indifferent. I was so content and happy almost all the time. It was a high that I rode for many years afterward. I just felt free. It was liek waking up from a nightmare. I couldn't believe I was capable of feeling this good. I havent talk to or seen my ex wife since we separated and I never plan on it. She will get nothing but silence and absence from me. Shes tried to hoover here and there and its not happening. I want nothing to do with her.
Spot on timing. Im struggling with the brain fog of a post narcissistic relationship. This validated that Im not crazy, I saw these patterns. I wasn't overreacting. Although I did overreact at the end when I finally broke. Because of this I question myself despite overwhelming evidence.
Yep, I am afraid I am DONE - even with the idea of a relationship. I just do solo, now.
This is how I feel. I went on two dates with the same girl after my ex. I saw all the old patterns right away. Now I have zero interest. Likes and messages go unanswered.
Just thinking about a relationship makes me aggitated and frustrated. It's my expectation through experience that a relationship will always be difficult. I have no interest.
Lise. Your videos genrally have been unbelievably helpful. I like hearing your explanations. But man. I was off watching narc explanation videos for a couple.of months. I thought i was ok. Then my ex wife and then my sister have been hitting me.non stop.
You can ask them what do you want from me, so I can fix it.or apologize if i am wrong? These bloody people cannot tell you. They want.to punish because you refuse to continue to be used by them emotionally.
Ita disgusting.im so angry with myself for having a child with such a person. But my sister? I cant believe how she changed. My nasty narc father and codependent mother caused this. And then.we are now.adults and having to take.full responsibility for our "choices" after being raised in that hellhole of physical emotional and psychological abuse.
Ive worked on myself a lot.
How I wish these were not true, but….. they are: these are all accurate descriptions.
It's her way or there's hell to pay.
Even if you give them their way, you did it wrong
Oh, there will be some hell to pay.
Explained perfectly. Thank you.
Thank you for articulating these traits and behaviors. I really need to find some healthy place to at least take long breaks from this dynamic. Work, the gym, exercise only go so far. The bar can quickly become its own problem, obviously, but there are people there. Church only lasts so long. Healthy hobbies and volunteer work, friends, right?
ln 2025 l highly recommend everyone to read keezano’s book Your Life Your Game. It beautifully shows how connecting with God and focusing on your family can lead to spiritual growth, stronger relationships, and success in both your personal and professional life. This book truly changed my life… A must-read. God bless!💟
That book helped my sister who was a narcissist
All true. I think this applies to both men and women. Stay away from these people if you can..............
I wish you a happy new year 🎉with respect and love, yours thoroughly Johnny.
Thank you, Lise
Damn this is sad because I just realized my ex was a covert narcissist… I tried to work everything even when I was wrong and I held myself accountable 💯
This is more common than I thought, but it helps a lot to understand what's going on, I've been dealing with this for 29 years. It's not hard to know if you've done something wrong or not. So I take it with a grain of salt now.
Quality content Lise. Thank you.. Happy new year 😊
Thank you, Happy new year!
So glad I no longer have to deal with any of this..
My ex wife was/is just a flat out pathological narcissist, just a horrible, horrible person and mother.
Several professionals also felt she had/has borderline personality disorder, ..but she would never go for counseling, even when ordered by the court.
Mix in alcohol and substance ab use which was her family's hobby, and you get nothing but absolute misery.
I think splitting was the hardest part as I felt like there were two people in her head and she could flip on a coin toss between the two.
Thanks Lisa 🙏🏼💝you absolutely nailed this!!!
Thank you so much!
@ your very welcome. Happy New Year’s Eve🎉🌟🌏 May 2025 be filled with inner peace✌🏼, good health, and good fortune from doing what we love 💝
Yikes. That's my mom. When I was a kid, I never really understood why my mom's "friends" wouldn't answer the door sometimes when they were obviously home. I was uncomfortable about it even as a little kid. By my early teens, I knew something was wrong with her and I started to not like her either, but was also emotionally crippled and scared to be without her. It's a horrible paradox. She's 95 and lives with me now and she hasn't changed a bit. If anything she is worse. She displays all of these traits mentioned. Then she gets on her phone, that *I* pay for, and talk shit to her old co-workers to whom she never showed her crazy side. They were the control group. If they only knew how she talks about them and tells their personal business.
i experienced all of this
You just described my mom
Now that im a discarded trainwreck. How do i recover?
I’m taking it day by day, sometimes even hour by hour. I moved out of our home one year ago, I’m still struggling.
Get back with the old parts of yourself that was lost when with that person. Your sense of self will return slowly but surely gl yall
@@graduatedpinksnowball668 i met my person in highschool i was a kid then with no proper sense of self or identity how do i cleanse off her energy?
you can
- reach out to good friends who you know are on your side
- seek professional help to heal potential codependency issues
- keep learning about personality disorders to know what you are dealing with
- take a recovery course (Lise has one on her website, Kenny Weiss or Les Carter and many others do to)
- treat yourself as your best friend and talk to yourself as you would to your best friend (voice messages to yourself giving yourself compassion and understanding, hugging yourself)
- RAIN meditation by Tara Brach to learn to connect to and process your emotions instead if pushing them away
- take it slow so you don't overwhelm yourself, one thing at a time, if you feel you are losing yourself in your head try to turn back to reality by naming what you see in front of you, going out to meet people, call a friend etc. and when you are reregulated you can gently get back to touch your pain with compassion and understanding
- say no to everything and everyone that bothers you and is not immediately necessary
- if possible no porn no social media no news, the world happens without you losing energy by processing useless information
- write down what helps you and what you are thankful for in your life
those are some things that helped me in the last 14 months after being discarded, hope one or two ideas are helpful
all the best for you
Thank you!
conflict... to me they just draw you into their world..
i would say that they are emotionally disconnected..
Everything you say and do can and will be misconstrued and used against you, to make you look like a fool and her like a victim.
These people live an alternate reality that they've mentally created and expect everyone else to adapt to. She thinks the world revolves around her and will climb anyone's back to get her way. Any request she makes must be satisfied. Otherwise, she will gossip and backstab anyone who tells her no. Anyone who she perceives to surpass her success will be spoken negatively about. A discussion won't work to resolve the issue. Eventually, a misunderstanding will arise with her that forces you to reexamine the relationship altogether, and an emotionally mature person soon finds that they have more to lose than gain by remaining tethered to this person.
i experienced a lot of these behaviours with someone who has bpd. are these common traits there as well? it was more like ghosting, disappearing, defending, victim mentality, crying, blame shifting to others, work etc and passive aggressive behaviour, - not direct confrontation or anger outbursts
I’ve had to go no contact with my mom she is exactly like this. I don’t understand how they end up in any relationships. I only wish her peace.
That is EXACTLY HER
Basically if you’re calm you are condescending, fake, patronizing, pedantic, lecturing. If you show emotion you are “making it about you “ you being a drama queen , too sensitive, needy, wanting a fight. You literally can’t win. They only want you to follow them step for step not be an actual living sentient being.
As I told my ex there were 2 ways to do everything - her way and the wrong way. She said I was intolerant because I didn’t think just like her. I suggested she look up the meaning of the word, which went over well as you might guess.
"it's not wrong, it's my opinion!" ...?
The most prominent traits on this list with the covert type woman I had in my life was:
Extreme Jealousy - anything that could be viewed as sexual competition (working with female customers, getting support from female administrators at work, past relationships, and famous people. It was completely out of the order to make a positive comment about a female superhero (such as Wonder-woman) as any of these things would trigger her insecurities and create a meltdown.
Passive Aggression: Every time she got a "no" or even a "not now, later" she would go into passive aggressive tactics to try to manipulate me to do what she wanted. She would be catty and mean for weeks on the end. The game ended after the fact that what she wanted me to change no longer was possible. Then suddenly she was a peach and loving again.
Distrust: she never believed anything I said and claimed that she always had to check what I said. It could be a claim about politics or an event in the world and she never would trust a word. That makes conversations about anything quite pointless I think. When I say the end started to stand up for my claims and not accept that she is not the arbiter of truth, she would predictably go into another meltdown of crying, cattiness and mean spirited slights.
Insane... I realized at the end that it is ok to leave a relationship that makes you feel bad. You don't need a diagnosis on the partner and you don't need their permission. What makes it hard is however that you don't want to hurt them. And they are very good at ostentatiously displaying vulnerability to get you to do what they want.
I’m tired of arguing and just walk away or leave
I've had women like that, sadly more than twice. It's mind blowing, disgusting, horrible...no words. Can't stand toxic behaviour, especially narcisist type. I am an empath, it literally kills me, that kind of emotional stress & damage, you have with that kind of women type.
My ex was like this. We could not have a calm discussion. She would just scream even if i said "please don't yell at me." Once she became violent that was it for me.
THE BEST SOURCE FOR ANALYSIS --->
Wow. It was one month ago I broke free with a female Covert Narcissist. All check the above of what you stated. On to a new life in 2025
Yea… one response I got when I said I am not a mind reader and she says “Maybe you should be!” So yea.. she asks me to do the impossible.
Do you have information for men with this or is it about the same as women who have it?
I lived this for 30 years. I took those vows way too seriously. It's ending in divorce anyway. Gents, just walk away as soon as you can if you're attached to a women like this.
How do we prevent our children from developing NPD?
Is it just me or are these indicators overlaping with bpd? I recognise alot of this behaviours in my bpd ex.
Yes they overlap, in psychiatry they both fall under the umbrella of cluster B traits/ personality disorders
It's my way or nothing 😊
Instead of labelling people with disorders written in the DSM by the patriarchy I look at astrology and human design aspects and practice astrotherapy and people don’t feel as defeated, broken and ashamed
My ex is self righteous narcissist but she has all these traits.
every thing is true ,,,u say ,,,i go trooo it alll
Hello Lise - thank you for sharing your expertise! Could you provide your thought on FCN night life obsession? I feel like even if the house is on fire, she has to attend…
Hi, where can I find part 1 ?
My ex went out of her way to irritate me.She knew I was sensitive to too much garlic she would load up food with heaps of
of garlic .Another classic I am also lactose intolerant she just loved cooking rich cream dishes .she went out of her way to piss me off.
This explained a lot about my wife, sadly she will never seek help, she is too perfect for that and we have 2 kids, they are 8 and 5, so leaving her is not an option for me, is there anything i as a husband could do?
Is it possible to improve her emotional intelligence?
Do all these points apply to borderline women ?
@@Ppsy_777 basically, except bpd women never really discard you, just push you away until you’re about to leave then Hoover you back in with guilt, fake “apologies” and false promises.
@@stevennelson2055 Except that the bpd woman in question did. Total split.
@@Ppsy_777 they are more than likely covert narcs then in my opinion/experience. BPDs will not leave and will not let you go, even when you tell them to, even when you physically leave, even if they find someone else that has more than you to offer and is willing to give it all to her, they’re to insecure to believe someone else will take them until they have for a period of time already, even then they don’t believe they’ll stay.
Narcs believe they have or will find someone better.
To me a severe BPD is worse than a narc, because not only do they have many narcissistic traits, nearly all of them, they also have all the BPD traits.
Ive had both in my life my whole life, the BPDs messed me up way more than any of the NPDs. I wish I would have been discarded
My curious because your title inverted implies the existence of an Emotionally Mature Covert Narcissist. What would that person act like?
Hi Lise, thank you for all the information you provide. I would like to ask one question: is it possible to have one parent covert narcissist and another parent with narcissist personality disorder? Thank you in advance
Thank god my spouse isn’t like this.. but damn there’s this lady at work that sounds EXACTLY like this 😬
They were called "femme fatale" but my problem comes from my mother... and my sisters... I didn't lived a life but a nightmare 😢
I'm the scapegoat btw.
Most channels about narcissistic women are about couples but few about mothers. The taboo about narcissistic mothers seems unbreakable.
Even fewer about sisters. I'm the scapegoat too, largely due to a covert narc sister. She has all the traits described in this video.
Right in a time of a boys crisis we need help! We are dealing with uncontrolled unconcious mothers.
I love her, but the avoidant dismissive sht is so destructive. Point things out, you’re the problem.
Just right now,i was heating up some fpod in my toaster oven,this Narc takes a frozen chicken patty and decided to cook it in my food while im using my toaster oven in my house with my food,i live alone,She wanted to tell me something instead of talk about the tactic she just performed
Lise, when are You going to do a video about Yourself and life experiences?
Sounds like my wife.
In my opinion, for men in relationships with low EQ wives, it really doesn’t matter if she is a covert narcissist or not, the effects are the same.
Dear Mrs. Lise, You are describing my biological mother, actually a monster. Her words: "Your child will be insulting me". Or reporting me to the police (with a pile of lies) for being against a war criminal Slobodan Milošević. Or calling the company I worked with...Or holding the grudge against my father even after 60 years...Or repeating: "You were afraid to be born...You didn't want to be born...". Or telling literally unknown people how she "believes in god", while atavistically cursing people who don't share her political views...
Splitting is every employee
Wow my ex…still have a broken heart but interesting. She’d try to tell me I was the crazy person and I almost started second guessing a lot of what she was saying.
My ex fiance was like that,i was 25 and she was 41 when we met.
Why they love to fight and provoke conflict