From the 45-minute TMI backstory of the training lady, to the obligatory diocesan video which simultaneously tells you nothing but lasts an hour... laura you never miss!
Thankfully you've never been in the situation where an annulment was needed. Enjoy. The fact that this was a joke, in the video, that you made this comment, and that Laura loved it, are all very disappointing.
I have PTSD from this video bringing back memories of prior safe trainings. When my recertifications come up, I often have to receive MULTIPLE SETs. For my parish, for my Knights of Columbus, for my legal field, for my work as a volunteer with a vulnerable adults group, for volunteering for my local school, and for my volunteering with my son's school. As an attorney, I know they require all of these different ones because it's not really about learning anything. It's about the liability and being able to say "see, required him to take OUR program."
I was a catechist and parish volunteer for many decades. God bless you and your patience. I don't have it. It's the evil priests and corrupt bishops that need recurrent training. And the bishops who conspired to cover up the rapes of children and homosexual rapes of young men should be in prison.
@@saram3156the joke, I would think, is that they do get sex offenders to talk about what they look for on the videos but nobody should think they have pure motives of trying to actually help you recognize bad behaviors and help kids. They're probably bribed to talk with time off their sentence
😂😂😂 I LITERALLY just did this training last weekend (I'm the newest Confirmation instructor for the kiddies 😊), and I thought I was going to just DIIIIIEEEEE the whole time. 😂😂😂 It's the 90s style video in 2023 for me. 😂
Here's an idea for a video if you think its funny enough The 10 Catholics you meet at Adoration in the middle of the night. You sleepily get up out of bed as it’s dark trying not to wake the kids as you make your way over to Church for Adoration in the dark night. “Who signs up for overnight Adoration anyway?” you say to yourself. You punch the code in to unlock the door to reveal…… ”The 10 Catholics you meet at Adoration in the middle of the night.” 1) The Church mouse a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there kneeling in the corner is the Church Mouse. Eyes closed, hands closed tightly in prayer. They peek one eye open to look at you. You wave politely but the mere wave scares them as if they were a wounded animal, they shudder and close up in to an even tighter ball eyes closed even tighter. You kneel down and glance over at the side altar and look back. They’ve vanished. You look around but they have disappeared as if they’ve crawled into their hole in the wall. 2) The coffee lover a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there lounging in the pew is the coffee lover. Legs crossed, arm flung over the back of the pew sipping on a coffee he quickly winks and shoots you with his finger gun. There are empty coffee cups littering the pew around him. 3) The student a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there sitting in the pew is the student. They have numerous books (the Bible, CCC, Augustine’s Confessions, maybe Why We’re Catholic) and pamphlets strewn about the pews. There are highlighters and pens and pencils all over and in their hair/behind their ear. They write feverishly in their journal going back and forth from book to book to writing in their journal. 4) The prostrate power player a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there laying face down on the floor is an older person. You quickly run over to them to see if they are ok. After you shake them and say, “Mister, mister are you OK?” (just like in the CPR/First Aid class videos) They look up at you and say, “Of course I’m ok, who wouldn’t be ok showing proper respect for Our Lord and Savior laying prostrate before the Almighty.” They look you up and down. Sheepishly you say, “Oh….oh right…. Gotcha” and awkwardly you lay prostrate down next to them. “Boy this marble tile is cold.” 5) The word savor a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there holding his Bible is the word savor. He traces his finger under the words to keep his place. but he reads one word then tilts his head to the side and contemplates it’s cosmic meaning (voice over of the thoughts in his head. T H E this must symbolize the trinity because it start with the letter T and has 3 letters) 6) The space invader (#too close for comfort) a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there is ……..no one. You look around again just to make sure. You are relieved to have some quiet prayer time to yourself. You kneel down and out of nowhere he slides in like Cris Collinsworth. (Sports meme reference you can search it, it is even a gif on your phone.) Right up next to you, shoulder to shoulder, even though there is no one else in the chapel. You move over to the next kneeler but they just stay attached at your shoulder. 7) The chainsaw Rosary massacre a. You are kneeling there quietly in prayer and then in walks the way too busy scheduled person. They hurriedly kneel down and whip out their Rosary and you just hear this low rumble that resembles the hum of a chainsaw (maybe use actual chainsaw noise) as they quickly mumble through the prayers. Punctuated every so often for a breath of air and what appears to be a Glory be and Our Father. They quickly finish the Rosary and are gone in a flash. 8) The moved by the Spirit swaying tree a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there standing front and center is the swaying tree. Both hands raised up as if at a Baptist revival, just swaying to beat of the music in their head with the spotlight that is supposed to be on the altar lighting up their face. 9) The pace car a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there with Rosary in hand is the pace car. As you kneel down he just keeps making laps walking around the small adoration chapel. Rosary swinging side to side as he walks sometimes it even hits you as he passes by. 10) The First timer a. You are kneeling there quietly in prayer your time is almost up, so you check the schedule to see who is coming in next. You see it’s Trent and you say, “Oh I know him from Bible study.” Then you hear the door trying to get jerked open you walk to the door and through the window you see Trent waving and mouths I forgot the code. You let him in and he says, ”Sorry, this my first time.” You say, “That’s ok, it happens to all of us.” Trent says, “So…… what do you do in Adoration?” You respond, “You pray.” Trent shocked replies, “For a whole hour????” “Yes.” You respond politely. Trent smiling says, “ Can you do it for me?” Your head drops and you just turn and say “I’m going back to bed!”
Really, I thought the same. You capture the Laura Horn vibe and she and her “adoring” followers, might benefit from Laura partnering with a writer such as yourself 😄✨🕊️
Not in the middle of the night or I would have died of a heart attack, but...I walked into the empty chapel and started to pray, when up popped a sister who had been prostrating in the other aisle without my knowing it. Yikes! It really gave me a start!
I'll never forget when I attended a VIRTUS training. Boomer presenter: "Myth #2: Gays are no more likely to molest children than straight people. Any questions?" Me: Boomer presenter: "Y-yes?" Me: Welllll.....
All of my children have had Mongolian spots. It's actually terrifying to think about some well intentioned person seeing us change a diaper and calling cps to have our kids hauled away for months over a birthmark
I didn't realize that 'Mongolian Spots ' are a thing prior to watching this video. Apparently they're relatively common among more ethnicities than just people from Mongolia. Learn something new every day.
My daughter has mongolian spots, they are common in mixed race children, you don't have to be mongolian. I did have the threat of CPS being called on me once. It was a whole issue that eventually got resolved once we found someone knowledgeable, other then me, that could explain what they are. This was pre-internet so I couldn't just search it to prove what I was saying.
NZ Maori here 🙋 and my four children (and I assume myself) have them. Definitely a mixed race thing not just Mongolian ethnicity. My kids are actually pale for part Maori kids but still have the spot, it's just not very dark, you'd barely notice it but when they were babies the midwife pointed them out to me ❤️
I could see the scene more like, “Ma’am, sir; it’s not a bruise, it’s something known as a “Mongolian birthmark.” “Wow, I didn’t know the baby was from Mongolia!”
“Ok everyone we’re almost done! Just raise your hand if you need a certificate of completion that proves you attended this training. Ok great. I’m passing out a blank piece of paper and just write something like ‘I completed Protecting Jesus’ Babies training’ and then sign your name or something. Great thanks for coming!”
You are so funny!! usually “funny” TH-cam videos just make me slightly smile with that weird breath thing but you actually make me laugh out loud! Literally woke up my baby from laughing at this video. Worth it.
My youngest has a Mongolian mark on her bottom and back. When she was born I thought she was all bruised up until the nurse told us what it was 😂 but she’s Mexican, not Mongolian. Just so everyone is aware. 😉
I have been taking these courses for 20 years. One year I had the pleasure of sitting through essentially the same training 3 times in as many months. Good times!
I remember the day that the « catholic connect » required that training to play board games at a family event. This stirs so much anger. So much time wasted. I took the training in North Carolina once and it s like they rebelled in telling you about all the ways to abuse a child. I don’t have the stomach to ever take that training again. I might check halo for the patience thing lol.
The training I took two years ago in Denver was pretty good albeit a bit long. The participants did have questions and comments like the ones in Laura’s video, though. Great job, Laura!
I just don't volunteer for anything ever to avoid this nightmare. If I show up at an event I just ask if I can help with something. If they really need me they will give me a task.
When I was teaching CCD at my parish they called it the "Circle of Grace" training. This is obviously a very important topic to teach, but the training was SO weird I told them I couldn't teach it in my classroom and asked the Director of Religious Education to do it. I feel a little vindicated by this video!
To volunteer at a Catholic school in my diocese, you have to watch safe environment training videos and then take quizzes. Luckily you can do it online. If I ever go back to volunteering, I’ll have to update my certificate because Covid kind of messed all my volunteering up.
In my diocese, everyone who did safe environment training before COVID needs to renew. How awesome. I wonder if it means they updated the video to include COVID related stuff.
I remembered what I turned 18 and gave away a ton of stuff I outgrow. Then I took the Pervert Awareness training I started freaking out because it said look for people giving gifts and spending a lot of time with the youth. I was 18 and the only volunteer under 40. So I was spending all my down time with the kids.
I feel ya on that one. My birthday is in September so I was always one of the oldest kids in my grade. My senior year I turned 18 and was still part of my church’s youth organizations and doing things like serving and sacristan. I remember asking my adults leaders and priests if I needed to take anything even though I was still a student in high school. Their responses pretty much boiled down to “Just say you’re still in high school if anyone asks. If they don’t ask, don’t say anything.” Helps that my family had been a that parish for years and I was involved since I was little, so didn’t have issues with anyone actually wondering about me. Not saying young people can’t be abusers as that can be a thing, but it is awkward for us on that edge of legality who have good friends aged and graded below us.
Pretty glad I got to do the online version 😬 also Mongolian spots are a real thing! My husband spent our son's entire first year repeatedly asking why he had a bruise
I'm happy to say that the Virtus training I've attended has actually been pretty solid (unlike the Boy Scouts). But this was certainly darkly humourous.
Yes, I’m fourteen and am an assistant teacher to the youth group I had to attend this and it was SO long and than we had to teach a lesson to the kids about this
I loathed the yearly safe environment training. I am so happy to not be working for the diocese anymore. Now I just go to work, do my job, and return home without ever being suggested that I could be a pervert.
I. Love. You. Lady!❤❤❤ content is spot on. I check every day for a new video and I smile before I even view it!!!!! You remind me of my bestie back home. She and I worked labor and delivery together. Just one of the best nurses I’ve ever worked with. Oh. Boy. How we howled. I think you two are twins! Keep it up. Our Catholic community is richer because of you. 😊
As a DRE I can confirm at least in my diocese that all Virtus training is online and takes 90 minutes. Haha, I remember I had to do the training for three hours on a Sunday afternoon when it was in person.
@@2horse167 well, hopefully your diocese is like mine where the training is a once in a lifetime and done…I do believe they run background checks every ten years for volunteers which shouldn’t be a problem for people who have nothing to hide.
@@AdamZ84 Nope! Renewal every 2 years :/ and those background checks, sure, they're fine for the volunteers, but the parishes have to pay for them. So every time someone says they want to Anything around the parish, it costs $15 or thereabouts. Then that person might not even volunteer. It's a lovely system.
Sadly, it's the opposite, I've heard stories of the seminaries kicking out the straight, orthodox young men who would make fabulous priests. They want lukewarm or gay....
The priest who assaulted me was straight (at least, I assume so, given that I'm a woman). (I was in college, it was in a confessional, he was my spiritual director, NO I DID NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. Sorry, you wouldn't believe the assumptions people have made about me. Yes I reported it to the proper authorities). Just saying. I agree homosexual abuse is a problem in the church, but abuse isn't primarily a homosexual problem.
@@JP2GiannaT I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I hope justice was served in your case. However, I'm pretty sure that statistically about 80% of the abuse of minors was homosexual in nature (boys were victims).
@@JP2GiannaT it's a both and. However the studies that have been done about this have shown that it has been primarily a homosexual issue. In your situation were you in confession face-to-face ? That should be abolished. You said there was a confessional but I don't know how a priest would touch someone if it is a proper confessional.
I remember taking an online class when I volunteered to help the church lady with the Confirmation group for a retreat. I didn't think the material itself wasn't that bad, but those videos always drag the whole thing out . They just have that overly polished look that makes me drift off and sometimes the acting causes me to burst out laughing (happened once at my work for an HR video about sexual harassment. A lady walked out of the office of a superior (who I honestly didn't think was being unreasonable) and a passing employee deadpanned "shake it, baby" in the most robotic way. HR videos should be their own genre). Our new priest caused a big stir in my parish when he required EVERY organization and person who wanted to be involved with any church event to take the training. Those who didn't, even if they had been volunteering for years, weren't allowed to help with ANYTHING that could involve having children around. I went back and forth on my feelings about it, but eventually I decided it wasn't worth being angry over. Our church has growing families and a school, so I can understand him wanting to mitigate any liabilities even if I don't agree with his strong arm methods. At this point, everything is pretty mellow so either people also came to the same conclusion as me that the fuss wasn't worth the hassle or they (like some people know) just up and left for other parishes.
That 1 person who puts up their hand to tell an irrelevant story (such as butterfly birthmarks!!) which holds up everyone from leaving early 😄. There is always 1!
I literally had one of these videos straight up say that DAMAGE TO THE ANUS is a sign of sexual abuse. WTF like when am I ever seeing my CCD students THERE and NO DUH
Could also happen with toddlers and youngsters still potty training or that have accidents. Most of the time you probably won’t have to actually help them get out of soiled clothing, but sometimes there is a bit of clean up required or the kid is so distraught they need help. Had a friend who teaches pre-K have a kid stand on their chair and…. yeah it was not pleasant. Thankfully the nurse took care of that so my friend didn’t have to, but kids are definitely unpredictable at that age.
I went to Catholic School and it was an art form to make fun of the corny video that we’d be showed. One of the videos had Remember the Name by Fort Minor playing in the background.
@@laurahorn come to North Carolina sometime if you love it. Mine was born and bred right here. You wouldn’t hear it too often in our parishes because NC Catholicism is the Diocese of Everywhere North of the Mason Dixon Line. You’d love it here. Just look us up and see how cra cra we are.
Ah, crap. Time to shave my moustache, work on my tan, and stop sitting in quiet reverence by myself at Mass. No wonder all the parents give me strange looks when I smile at their families as they enter the pew near me.
When the Dallas Charter of the USCCB met in 2002, they voted to exempt themselves from any background checks. A few bishops agreed to not go along with this and voted against it
The premier See the Archdiocese of Baltimore had a video class for teens titled "Worthy of the Call" in which one of the presenters (a Bishop BTW) was later credibility accused of abuse. This video was used for 10 years AFTER the credible allegation. But every year we HAD to use this training with our high schoolers. Grrr.
ugh. This correlates with my wife's chef complaint that Everybody has to take this class except, you guessed it, the bishop. Pretty sure there isn't a bishop out there that has taken the course.
I can do you one better. The clergyman who sexually assaulted me in college was the guy who did my safe environment training for that diocese. "Do as I say and not as I do", amiright? (Yes, I reported it to law enforcement and that diocese).
I was traumatized after leaving this training. I am a therapist and have training in working with clients who have PTSD. My defenses were low and I wasn't expecting the explicitness of the content. Terrible training. Also they kept emphasizing that children's families would be the most likelihood of where a child would be sexually abused.
In Australia too. Child protection Sunday 😩. Where they put up some prayer we all recite together at the end of Mass. And now the “safeguarding “ paperwork and usb we are given to traumatise the already traumatised…just to get a key for adoration? So exactly what children am I safeguarding when I’m at a church alone with Jesus and one other adult in adoration… for goodness sake. Such a joke
Hey, does this count? Am I up to date one my "protecting the little 'uns" training now? If you have a certificate you could sign, that'd be great, thanks ahead of time!
![🎤 จับฉลากร้องเพลง x P’ #XXSIVK [EP.1] (2/2) เพื่อนจับได้คำไหน..ต้องร้องคำนั้น เริ่ม! 💓🎶 #MXFRUIT](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1bJvMJXmeS4/mqdefault.jpg)
This captured all the subtle absurdities of protecting Jesus's babies perfectly.
Brian, I’m surprised Laura hasn’t done an impression of you yet. Love your channel!
@@RyanCalbert-hx5jyyou've been seen... there's a chance 😁
From the 45-minute TMI backstory of the training lady, to the obligatory diocesan video which simultaneously tells you nothing but lasts an hour... laura you never miss!
This isn't even an exaggeration. Every "Protecting God's Children" training I have ever attended goes just like this.
This why people need to stop attending them and working for the Church. We need to stop feeding the beast.
100% and my training was at an evangelical church
I love the "annulled" part… This is also classic in marriage prep. Always annulled and on the second or third marriage!
Judge much? So glad you haven’t been in that situation. Remove the log from your own eye. 🤡
Thankfully you've never been in the situation where an annulment was needed. Enjoy. The fact that this was a joke, in the video, that you made this comment, and that Laura loved it, are all very disappointing.
@@saintmatthew956 yeah well I have been in that situation and have been twice annulled. Your lack of empathy for a rude comment is disappointing.
@@Maryismymom2did you not learn your lesson the first time. Essentially you are still committing adultery.
@@saintmatthew956annulments should not be allowed. We lost a whole country over this issue.
I have PTSD from this video bringing back memories of prior safe trainings.
When my recertifications come up, I often have to receive MULTIPLE SETs. For my parish, for my Knights of Columbus, for my legal field, for my work as a volunteer with a vulnerable adults group, for volunteering for my local school, and for my volunteering with my son's school. As an attorney, I know they require all of these different ones because it's not really about learning anything. It's about the liability and being able to say "see, required him to take OUR program."
May the lord give you strength to endure the trial
I was a catechist and parish volunteer for many decades. God bless you and your patience. I don't have it. It's the evil priests and corrupt bishops that need recurrent training. And the bishops who conspired to cover up the rapes of children and homosexual rapes of young men should be in prison.
Perhaps you need to stop volunteering. These programs do nothing to protect people.
Agreed.
As a Seminarian who has to sit through one of these every year… this was the laugh I needed. 😂 Spot on, and almost therapeutic.
This is easily the darkest video you've ever done.
I loved every second of it.
0:52 Can we all appreciate Laura’s voice acting capabilities. What can she not do?
I think that was Trent 😂😂😂😂
"I wanted that Subway gift card. Jared's a good guy." 😬
@@saram3156the joke, I would think, is that they do get sex offenders to talk about what they look for on the videos but nobody should think they have pure motives of trying to actually help you recognize bad behaviors and help kids.
They're probably bribed to talk with time off their sentence
😂😂😂 I LITERALLY just did this training last weekend (I'm the newest Confirmation instructor for the kiddies 😊), and I thought I was going to just DIIIIIEEEEE the whole time. 😂😂😂
It's the 90s style video in 2023 for me. 😂
Here's an idea for a video if you think its funny enough
The 10 Catholics you meet at Adoration in the middle of the night.
You sleepily get up out of bed as it’s dark trying not to wake the kids as you make your way over to Church for Adoration in the dark night. “Who signs up for overnight Adoration anyway?” you say to yourself. You punch the code in to unlock the door to reveal…… ”The 10 Catholics you meet at Adoration in the middle of the night.”
1) The Church mouse
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there kneeling in the corner is the Church Mouse. Eyes closed, hands closed tightly in prayer. They peek one eye open to look at you. You wave politely but the mere wave scares them as if they were a wounded animal, they shudder and close up in to an even tighter ball eyes closed even tighter. You kneel down and glance over at the side altar and look back. They’ve vanished. You look around but they have disappeared as if they’ve crawled into their hole in the wall.
2) The coffee lover
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there lounging in the pew is the coffee lover. Legs crossed, arm flung over the back of the pew sipping on a coffee he quickly winks and shoots you with his finger gun. There are empty coffee cups littering the pew around him.
3) The student
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there sitting in the pew is the student. They have numerous books (the Bible, CCC, Augustine’s Confessions, maybe Why We’re Catholic) and pamphlets strewn about the pews. There are highlighters and pens and pencils all over and in their hair/behind their ear. They write feverishly in their journal going back and forth from book to book to writing in their journal.
4) The prostrate power player
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there laying face down on the floor is an older person. You quickly run over to them to see if they are ok. After you shake them and say, “Mister, mister are you OK?” (just like in the CPR/First Aid class videos) They look up at you and say, “Of course I’m ok, who wouldn’t be ok showing proper respect for Our Lord and Savior laying prostrate before the Almighty.” They look you up and down. Sheepishly you say, “Oh….oh right…. Gotcha” and awkwardly you lay prostrate down next to them. “Boy this marble tile is cold.”
5) The word savor
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there holding his Bible is the word savor. He traces his finger under the words to keep his place. but he reads one word then tilts his head to the side and contemplates it’s cosmic meaning (voice over of the thoughts in his head. T H E this must symbolize the trinity because it start with the letter T and has 3 letters)
6) The space invader (#too close for comfort)
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there is ……..no one. You look around again just to make sure. You are relieved to have some quiet prayer time to yourself. You kneel down and out of nowhere he slides in like Cris Collinsworth. (Sports meme reference you can search it, it is even a gif on your phone.) Right up next to you, shoulder to shoulder, even though there is no one else in the chapel. You move over to the next kneeler but they just stay attached at your shoulder.
7) The chainsaw Rosary massacre
a. You are kneeling there quietly in prayer and then in walks the way too busy scheduled person. They hurriedly kneel down and whip out their Rosary and you just hear this low rumble that resembles the hum of a chainsaw (maybe use actual chainsaw noise) as they quickly mumble through the prayers. Punctuated every so often for a breath of air and what appears to be a Glory be and Our Father. They quickly finish the Rosary and are gone in a flash.
8) The moved by the Spirit swaying tree
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there standing front and center is the swaying tree. Both hands raised up as if at a Baptist revival, just swaying to beat of the music in their head with the spotlight that is supposed to be on the altar lighting up their face.
9) The pace car
a. You walk in, quietly make the Sign of the Cross and there with Rosary in hand is the pace car. As you kneel down he just keeps making laps walking around the small adoration chapel. Rosary swinging side to side as he walks sometimes it even hits you as he passes by.
10) The First timer
a. You are kneeling there quietly in prayer your time is almost up, so you check the schedule to see who is coming in next. You see it’s Trent and you say, “Oh I know him from Bible study.” Then you hear the door trying to get jerked open you walk to the door and through the window you see Trent waving and mouths I forgot the code. You let him in and he says, ”Sorry, this my first time.” You say, “That’s ok, it happens to all of us.” Trent says, “So…… what do you do in Adoration?” You respond, “You pray.” Trent shocked replies, “For a whole hour????” “Yes.” You respond politely. Trent smiling says, “ Can you do it for me?” Your head drops and you just turn and say “I’m going back to bed!”
😂 great skit. She should pay you for it. 😅
I liked it.
This is solid
Really, I thought the same. You capture the Laura Horn vibe and she and her “adoring” followers, might benefit from Laura partnering with a writer such as yourself 😄✨🕊️
Not in the middle of the night or I would have died of a heart attack, but...I walked into the empty chapel and started to pray, when up popped a sister who had been prostrating in the other aisle without my knowing it. Yikes! It really gave me a start!
I'll never forget when I attended a VIRTUS training.
Boomer presenter: "Myth #2: Gays are no more likely to molest children than straight people. Any questions?"
Me:
Boomer presenter: "Y-yes?"
Me: Welllll.....
That actually was in my original video, but a lot got cut for time!
@@laurahorndarn
Would've loved to have seen it. It couldn't have been any more awkward than what I went through haha@@laurahorn
Cut parts? That smells like a "director's cut" for future Patreon supporters.
Yes and it was emphasized all through the training.
All of my children have had Mongolian spots. It's actually terrifying to think about some well intentioned person seeing us change a diaper and calling cps to have our kids hauled away for months over a birthmark
I didn't realize that 'Mongolian Spots ' are a thing prior to watching this video. Apparently they're relatively common among more ethnicities than just people from Mongolia. Learn something new every day.
One of our sons had a large one (he’s not Mongolian). I’d never heard of the blue spots before bringing him home, and the mark faded as he got older.
My daughter has mongolian spots, they are common in mixed race children, you don't have to be mongolian. I did have the threat of CPS being called on me once. It was a whole issue that eventually got resolved once we found someone knowledgeable, other then me, that could explain what they are. This was pre-internet so I couldn't just search it to prove what I was saying.
NZ Maori here 🙋 and my four children (and I assume myself) have them. Definitely a mixed race thing not just Mongolian ethnicity. My kids are actually pale for part Maori kids but still have the spot, it's just not very dark, you'd barely notice it but when they were babies the midwife pointed them out to me ❤️
I could see the scene more like, “Ma’am, sir; it’s not a bruise, it’s something known as a “Mongolian birthmark.”
“Wow, I didn’t know the baby was from Mongolia!”
Now we need follow-ups for EVERY kind of re-certification video.
“Ok everyone we’re almost done! Just raise your hand if you need a certificate of completion that proves you attended this training. Ok great. I’m passing out a blank piece of paper and just write something like ‘I completed Protecting Jesus’ Babies training’ and then sign your name or something. Great thanks for coming!”
That class is brutal. I cried. A lot. For days. Don’t judge me.
I had a hard time getting through it too.
It's absolutely terrible.
They need to strike a better balance between child protection and stealing everyone's innocence/peace
I get it. And every person who walked by for weeks I judged to be a perp. It's a tough class
I just went through one of these training sessions a few days ago. This is painfully accurate 😂
The Mongolian birthmark had me silent laughing so hard while my 7 month is napping nearby😂🤣
You are so funny!! usually “funny” TH-cam videos just make me slightly smile with that weird breath thing but you actually make me laugh out loud! Literally woke up my baby from laughing at this video. Worth it.
My youngest has a Mongolian mark on her bottom and back. When she was born I thought she was all bruised up until the nurse told us what it was 😂 but she’s Mexican, not Mongolian. Just so everyone is aware. 😉
I have been taking these courses for 20 years. One year I had the pleasure of sitting through essentially the same training 3 times in as many months. Good times!
I wish Laura was the trainer for my recent safe environment training. Would have been way better!
I remember the day that the « catholic connect » required that training to play board games at a family event. This stirs so much anger. So much time wasted. I took the training in North Carolina once and it s like they rebelled in telling you about all the ways to abuse a child. I don’t have the stomach to ever take that training again. I might check halo for the patience thing lol.
The training I took two years ago in Denver was pretty good albeit a bit long. The participants did have questions and comments like the ones in Laura’s video, though. Great job, Laura!
I just don't volunteer for anything ever to avoid this nightmare. If I show up at an event I just ask if I can help with something. If they really need me they will give me a task.
I had a Trent Horn Catholic Answers video and a Laura Horn video both pop up this morning. Guess which one I watched first.
The shorter one...?
When I was teaching CCD at my parish they called it the "Circle of Grace" training. This is obviously a very important topic to teach, but the training was SO weird I told them I couldn't teach it in my classroom and asked the Director of Religious Education to do it. I feel a little vindicated by this video!
I have to do circle of grace training tomorrow... it's so cringy to read the lesson plan 😣
To volunteer at a Catholic school in my diocese, you have to watch safe environment training videos and then take quizzes. Luckily you can do it online. If I ever go back to volunteering, I’ll have to update my certificate because Covid kind of messed all my volunteering up.
In my diocese, everyone who did safe environment training before COVID needs to renew. How awesome. I wonder if it means they updated the video to include COVID related stuff.
The evil smirk on the child molester's face sends chills up my spine.
I just finished telling my husband about one of the disturbing testimonials from the "Protecting Jesus' Babies" class I took.
I know the Mongolian spots thing sounds weird but a similar scenario happened to my sister so I knew exactly what she was talking about 😂
Did this pop up because I literally just did the 90 minute online safe environment training literally at 2:00am…
"You're worst! You're worst than the molester!" 🤣☠️🤣
I remembered what I turned 18 and gave away a ton of stuff I outgrow. Then I took the Pervert Awareness training I started freaking out because it said look for people giving gifts and spending a lot of time with the youth. I was 18 and the only volunteer under 40. So I was spending all my down time with the kids.
I feel ya on that one.
My birthday is in September so I was always one of the oldest kids in my grade. My senior year I turned 18 and was still part of my church’s youth organizations and doing things like serving and sacristan. I remember asking my adults leaders and priests if I needed to take anything even though I was still a student in high school.
Their responses pretty much boiled down to “Just say you’re still in high school if anyone asks. If they don’t ask, don’t say anything.” Helps that my family had been a that parish for years and I was involved since I was little, so didn’t have issues with anyone actually wondering about me.
Not saying young people can’t be abusers as that can be a thing, but it is awkward for us on that edge of legality who have good friends aged and graded below us.
This was hysterical--I'm dyin' 🤣🤣🤣😂
"Subway gift card." Took me a minute.
What the world needs now is a Laura Horn/Freedom Tunes - Hallow Ad Battle.
Great documentary Laura!
Oh my goodness this is my favorite channel.
Pretty glad I got to do the online version 😬 also Mongolian spots are a real thing! My husband spent our son's entire first year repeatedly asking why he had a bruise
Good morning from Albuquerque!☀️
I'm happy to say that the Virtus training I've attended has actually been pretty solid (unlike the Boy Scouts). But this was certainly darkly humourous.
Yass! This is something I didn’t know I wanted until I saw it.
that music from 2004 bit got me, though it sounded like the beginning of dcTalk's cover of Jesus is Just All Right. Which would be more like 1994.
Should be music from the 70s
This is too accurate
I just finished my virtus training. This is a bit eerie
This is outdated. Cops, craft cocktail bartenders, craft beer brewers and programmers who wear flannel are also allowed to have mustaches.
you have to suffer through this too 😭
This is so great. Your Hallow ad is hilarious
I just did this training. I think there should be a trigger warning and food since our training went through lunch time.
Thanks be to God that our Diocese lets us take online training.
I've always felt uncomfortable as it clearly became a "how to groom children from experts" video >_
Yes, I’m fourteen and am an assistant teacher to the youth group I had to attend this and it was SO long and than we had to teach a lesson to the kids about this
I loathed the yearly safe environment training. I am so happy to not be working for the diocese anymore. Now I just go to work, do my job, and return home without ever being suggested that I could be a pervert.
Laura! Were at my training last week?! Nailed it!
I. Love. You. Lady!❤❤❤ content is spot on. I check every day for a new video and I smile before I even view it!!!!! You remind me of my bestie back home. She and I worked labor and delivery together. Just one of the best nurses I’ve ever worked with. Oh. Boy. How we howled. I think you two are twins! Keep it up. Our Catholic community is richer because of you. 😊
As a DRE I can confirm at least in my diocese that all Virtus training is online and takes 90 minutes. Haha, I remember I had to do the training for three hours on a Sunday afternoon when it was in person.
Ugh. Wish it was that way here. It was online. Then they switched to Virtus in person. Then during Covid it was online. Now it's back to in person.
@@2horse167 well, hopefully your diocese is like mine where the training is a once in a lifetime and done…I do believe they run background checks every ten years for volunteers which shouldn’t be a problem for people who have nothing to hide.
@@AdamZ84 Nope! Renewal every 2 years :/ and those background checks, sure, they're fine for the volunteers, but the parishes have to pay for them. So every time someone says they want to Anything around the parish, it costs $15 or thereabouts. Then that person might not even volunteer. It's a lovely system.
Also … never seen your vids Laura.. however I’m so glad this is my first one (came here from Matt fradds lol)
And I’m sold. The frustrations run deep.
Edgier aspects of issue hard to make funny. Hope the seminaries are finally screening out those with same-sex attraction.
Yeah right...not
Sadly, it's the opposite, I've heard stories of the seminaries kicking out the straight, orthodox young men who would make fabulous priests. They want lukewarm or gay....
The priest who assaulted me was straight (at least, I assume so, given that I'm a woman).
(I was in college, it was in a confessional, he was my spiritual director, NO I DID NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. Sorry, you wouldn't believe the assumptions people have made about me. Yes I reported it to the proper authorities).
Just saying. I agree homosexual abuse is a problem in the church, but abuse isn't primarily a homosexual problem.
@@JP2GiannaT I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I hope justice was served in your case. However, I'm pretty sure that statistically about 80% of the abuse of minors was homosexual in nature (boys were victims).
@@JP2GiannaT it's a both and. However the studies that have been done about this have shown that it has been primarily a homosexual issue.
In your situation were you in confession face-to-face ? That should be abolished. You said there was a confessional but I don't know how a priest would touch someone if it is a proper confessional.
The Mongolian birth mark bit....I 100% believe in the veracity of that anecdote 😂
This is the best one yet
I remember taking an online class when I volunteered to help the church lady with the Confirmation group for a retreat. I didn't think the material itself wasn't that bad, but those videos always drag the whole thing out . They just have that overly polished look that makes me drift off and sometimes the acting causes me to burst out laughing (happened once at my work for an HR video about sexual harassment. A lady walked out of the office of a superior (who I honestly didn't think was being unreasonable) and a passing employee deadpanned "shake it, baby" in the most robotic way. HR videos should be their own genre).
Our new priest caused a big stir in my parish when he required EVERY organization and person who wanted to be involved with any church event to take the training. Those who didn't, even if they had been volunteering for years, weren't allowed to help with ANYTHING that could involve having children around. I went back and forth on my feelings about it, but eventually I decided it wasn't worth being angry over. Our church has growing families and a school, so I can understand him wanting to mitigate any liabilities even if I don't agree with his strong arm methods.
At this point, everything is pretty mellow so either people also came to the same conclusion as me that the fuss wasn't worth the hassle or they (like some people know) just up and left for other parishes.
That 1 person who puts up their hand to tell an irrelevant story (such as butterfly birthmarks!!) which holds up everyone from leaving early 😄.
There is always 1!
LOL love the bishop's costume!!
"Jared's a good guy" had me rolling!
I'm CACKLING at how spot-on this is 😂
You’re crazy, my kind of people 👍
The truest part was at 2:21 "Why aren't the Bishops doing more about this?" "Umhmm, thanks."
1st Timothy 3:4-5, Catholics.
That poor parent was just talking about Mongolian Blue Spots- Congenital dermal melanocytosis.
Why do I feel so bad for him?
I literally had one of these videos straight up say that DAMAGE TO THE ANUS is a sign of sexual abuse. WTF like when am I ever seeing my CCD students THERE and NO DUH
If you worked in a nursery/with babies it might be relevant information.
Could also happen with toddlers and youngsters still potty training or that have accidents. Most of the time you probably won’t have to actually help them get out of soiled clothing, but sometimes there is a bit of clean up required or the kid is so distraught they need help.
Had a friend who teaches pre-K have a kid stand on their chair and…. yeah it was not pleasant. Thankfully the nurse took care of that so my friend didn’t have to, but kids are definitely unpredictable at that age.
As a white male with a moustache this hurts lmao
Or is this encouragement to join your local fire company?
I went to Catholic School and it was an art form to make fun of the corny video that we’d be showed. One of the videos had Remember the Name by Fort Minor playing in the background.
Well, I confess my accent is similar to the “man” who adopted the child from Mongolia, and I hope to the Good God that I’m not as dumb as “he” is. 😂😂😂
I have no idea why I went with that accent, but every time I hear someone with a Texan accent I automatically love them.
@@laurahorn come to North Carolina sometime if you love it. Mine was born and bred right here. You wouldn’t hear it too often in our parishes because NC Catholicism is the Diocese of Everywhere North of the Mason Dixon Line. You’d love it here. Just look us up and see how cra cra we are.
I saw this posted and thought, "you are good God, you are good."
This is so relatable.
This was really funny.
Hilarious. Too much indeed!
Excellent!
My husband works in the church office with other adults and he is required to be certified by the diocese.
Trent wanted to participate in a dunk tank and he had to be certified. I guess better safe than sorry at least on paper.
i laughed out loud multiple times
Mongolian birthmark for the win!
This really was too far with Laura 😂 💀
Ah, crap. Time to shave my moustache, work on my tan, and stop sitting in quiet reverence by myself at Mass. No wonder all the parents give me strange looks when I smile at their families as they enter the pew near me.
That had me laughing out loud. Every bit of it 😂
“Dead on balls accurate.”
Going to class next weekend! It's 8 hours long!
Nailed it again! 😂😂😂
When the Dallas Charter of the USCCB met in 2002, they voted to exempt themselves from any background checks. A few bishops agreed to not go along with this and voted against it
Who were the bishops
as a catholic mum thanks laura...
Jared's a good guy😂😂😂😂😂😂
The premier See the Archdiocese of Baltimore had a video class for teens titled "Worthy of the Call" in which one of the presenters (a Bishop BTW) was later credibility accused of abuse. This video was used for 10 years AFTER the credible allegation. But every year we HAD to use this training with our high schoolers. Grrr.
🤨😕🤢😡
ugh. This correlates with my wife's chef complaint that Everybody has to take this class except, you guessed it, the bishop. Pretty sure there isn't a bishop out there that has taken the course.
@@2horse167 well unfortunately it really wouldn't matter if they did
I can do you one better.
The clergyman who sexually assaulted me in college was the guy who did my safe environment training for that diocese. "Do as I say and not as I do", amiright?
(Yes, I reported it to law enforcement and that diocese).
@@JP2GiannaT 😧🤦🤮
I seriously need to take this training again. I wanna be a sacristan and join this club at church but can’t do it until I take the class
Trent wanted to participate as a "dunk tank" person for a festival, and he had to attend. . .
@@laurahorn HAHAHAHAHA
"Jared's a good guy" epic
There needs to be one national program
I was traumatized after leaving this training. I am a therapist and have training in working with clients who have PTSD. My defenses were low and I wasn't expecting the explicitness of the content. Terrible training. Also they kept emphasizing that children's families would be the most likelihood of where a child would be sexually abused.
In Australia too. Child protection Sunday 😩. Where they put up some prayer we all recite together at the end of Mass. And now the “safeguarding “ paperwork and usb we are given to traumatise the already traumatised…just to get a key for adoration? So exactly what children am I safeguarding when I’m at a church alone with Jesus and one other adult in adoration… for goodness sake. Such a joke
Like a dog groomer? Oh boy, my wife and I are in big trouble
pet groomer here too! I make sure I now say "pet" groomer instead of just groomer LOL
Hey, does this count? Am I up to date one my "protecting the little 'uns" training now? If you have a certificate you could sign, that'd be great, thanks ahead of time!
Diocese of tulsa !! That’s me!
Seriously i felt this joke in my pcg-trained soul
Genius 😂