Fun fact I've looked into further since filming: It Ends With Us was released in 2016, Justin Baldoni started trying to get it made into a film in 2019, in January 2023 casting started for the film, in July 2023 It Starts With Us was released. So Colleen clearly just promoted Justin's book in here because he was directing the film of her book. It makes sense but it's pretty funny.
Justin Baldoni wanted that crap to be made into a film?! I didn't even realize that. I thought this was all CoHo's idea. Thank you for the fun fact that I didn't even know about until now
@@revi6482 it says in the text that he’s a chef at a high end restaurant. A chef at a high end restaurant in Boston would probably be working 80-100 hours a week. My fiancé is a chef and he was offered a job as executive chef at a high end resort in a rich tourist town. When he was talking with the current chef, the current one admitted that working as a line cook wouldn’t be bad, but you wouldn’t want to be in charge of this place unless you want to work 16 hour days. Where my boyfriend works now, he works about 50 hours a week in the summer and 30 in the winter when they’re only open 4 days a week. Even in winter, it’s difficult for him to get a weekend off. He did take a Saturday off a few years ago so we could go to a concert. He purposely left his phone at the hotel so he wouldn’t be bothered. Of course when we did get back, he had like 20+ missed calls and I forget how many text messages about petty stuff from the restaurant (dishwasher complaining about waitstaff, bartender complaining about sous chef, a customer/friend who wanted to know why he wasn’t cooking that night, etc)
Something that I don’t think Rachel pointed out in her criticism of Rile’s parental incompetence is that it would be really bad for any dad to not know what his 11 month old can and can’t eat, but it’s especially bad that Rule doesn’t because HES A DOCTOR. Like I know he’s not a pediatrician, but all doctors have to do a pediatrics rotation. He should know the basics of infant nutrition needs. But no, his florist ex-wife knows basic human nutritional needs better than he, an a M.D. does. Which tells me that Rile is a terrible doctor as well as father and husband, or he’s such a rabid misogynist that his brain somehow filtered out all the medical knowledge that might be something a mom would know.
@@the-first-of-her-name girl, I’ve been familiar with this book and the characters for over two years and I still laugh audible whenever I think “boy, that Rile sure gets riled up easy.” I chuckled when I read this reply.
Oh God why did I not notice this? Oh well CoHo has not written anything to show that he's a doctor other than just reminding us from time to time like "oh, btw he's a neurosurgeon. Remember?"
THANK YOU!!!! I was literally about to comment this because fucking hell that shit makes me so mad. Has the author forgotten the occupation of her own characters, has she not spent a lick of time even googling how anything works or is he truly just an imposter, because he now is not only way too young to be a neurosurgeon (as opposed to like a surgical resident?) he is now also utterly incompetent. Please I beg this can’t be real lmfao
Amazing that the MC just *hopes* her ex is not going to abuse their vulnerable daughter. She is also awfully unbothered by the ex feeding junk food to an infant. That man is supposed to be a doctor so he knows better. As much as Hoover wants us to believe she broke the cycle, Lily is just an enabler.
That's such a good point. It has just hit me that could be from Lily's own experience with abuse in her family. Her dad was abusive to her mum but he never hurt her. Maybe in her head that means that aslong as there is no woman/ significant other for Ryle to abuse, then her daughter won't experience or witness abuse. Which is crazy because the first book tries to play off Ryle's abuse as fits of rage where he blacks out and it's out of his control, but if he can act that way only with romantic or sexual partners, that suggests a significant amount of control and intention.
Huh? This is a matter of individual development. Not every baby is the same when it comes to how readily they adjust from soft to hard foods. I understand he should know this because it's _his daughter_ but being a doctor can't tell you about the individual needs of every child unless you're a pediatrician.
@@theflyingspaget he should be able to recognise when the child is ready to eat a certain food. If he's that blind to developmental cues I would be concerned about his ability to practise medicine in general. And even general medical education teaches at least basic child development.
@@ArinellSnap seriously. They have pamphlets about this at the health department. I’m pretty sure his waiting room has copies of parenting magazines regardless of what his specialty is.
14:32 why is she giving her child, unsupervised to a man who goes into violent blackout rages and has hit her and pushed her down the stairs before? In what world is that safe? What if the baby cries too long and he shakes it? I would never feel safe leaving a defenceless baby who cant even talk to tell me what happened with someone who treats other people like that.
Honestly unfortunately it's not uncommon. If you didn't document the abuse, you don't have a leg to stand on in court, especially if the other parent is in a wealthy, well-respected profession such as a doctor. Happened to my sister who ultimately left her husband with a baby after he physically abused her long-term. Unfortunately, she hadn't documented the abuse (as a lot of women don't) and so she had no evidence. When she brought it up in court, since she had no evidence, it was viewed as "parental alienation" which is where you try to turn your child against the other parent. As a result he was afforded more custody time than he would've had if she'd kept quiet. And he wasn't even a doctor lol, he was a builder. In that case, you don't have many options. You can 1. Run away with your child. This is considered kidnapping and you will be caught, you will be sent to prison or fined, you will lose custody, and your child will be given fully to the other parent. 2. You can refuse to leave the child unsupervised with the other parent. This would be considered a breach of the custody agreement where each parent is expected to have unsupervised time with the child. Your partner can very easily go back to court (especially if he's rich af) and tell them what you're doing. The court would usually consider whether the supervision is warranted or not, and as you have zero evidence of abuse, it's not warranted. Further, the court could again consider you as committing parental alienation by making the child view their other parent in a certain light (that they're unsafe to be around ...even if they are). Engaging in 'parental alienation' leads to you getting reduced custody. 3. You leave the child unsupervised with the other parent, hope and pray nothing happens, try to pacify your ex-partner, and document any behaviour that could back up your proof of abuse. That's it. That's really your only option. The men who say the courts are always biased in favour of the mother are generally wrong. It can happen but these guys often haven't even been to court and are taking anecdotal evidence from bitter friends. All a father needs to do is have an interest in his child, attend court, and not be a _documented_ scumbag to get joint custody.
I still can't believe that these books got a film out of it. Wow, this makes Christian Grey look like a decent boyfriend! I really don't love how these books glamorise abusive relationships, child abuse and statutory rape, Stockholm syndrome is not cute and not being able to see the red flags isn't love. There's no care, no tact and no thought in Colleen's writing. Why the hell did a publisher think that this was a good idea to publish?
Because this shit sells. I’m an author and my books don’t portray abuse as romance. I’ve gotten a lot of praise for how I write and how genuine the relationships seem, but the criticism I get the most is that the male love interests aren’t mean enough. FFS, I write people who kill people, but because they aren’t hitting the women, they’re too nice?! I have quite a few acquaintances who write that abuse bullshit, and write it so badly in general that it’s hard to read, romanticization of abuse aside (jumps from person to person so often that there’s no time for pronouns to be used, tagging dialog for one person with the actions of another, characters all sounding the same, absolutely weak plots, plots that make no sense, have they ever heard of dictionaries, etc), yet they sell like crazy because most readers want abuse. It’s not even the stuff that’s so over-the-top that it can’t be aspirational, like Italian mafia billionaires in Spain or something. It’s everyday people who are obtainable, everyday people that many of us have been with. Those are the abusers, and readers eat that shit up. That’s why publishers publish this shit. I’ll languish in obscurity with my much fewer sales before selling out to that.
@@NoelleTakestheSkythanks so much for that. That stuff makes me so upset and makes me stay away from women as well as males. It is ridiculous how much too many women buy in to this and like it. It is refreshing when I hear and read women who speak the truth! Thanks 🙏🏻 again.
Honestly I think Christian still comes out worse IMO, like Rile is a controlling POS but Christin had the money and clout to do a fuckton of damage with his controlling POS nature ... and Ana still stays with him at the end
Miles Archer takes the cake for me. He’s a pilot who flies a lot of miles, and an Archer is a plane by Piper. Only way Miles’s name could be worse was if he was a she, and she was named Piper Archer. I’d actually credit her for being a bit clever on that one since Piper is a subtle aviation reference.
Just spotted on Colleen's Wiki entry: "As of October 2022, Hoover has sold approximately 10 books. She was named one of the 100 dumbest people in the world by Time magazine in 2023." I'm guessing whoever wrote that is... not a fan.
59:42 I feel like this bit here is the perfect example of why these books don't work as a cautionary tale about abuse. Atlas does the exact same thing Ryle does in the first book, read Lily's journal without her consent and invade her privacy, but this time its played off as okay and kind of cute. Colleen seems to have this juvenile view of the world where only bad people do bad things, so if a "good" person like Atlas does a bad thing, it's actually not bad at all. It just furthers the point Rachel makes that Ryle actually isn't any different than any of Colleen's other leading men, the only difference is his abusive behavior is accurately described as abusive and not sexy.
This "brainwashing" can be seen in her fans. You can see them be like "yeah he is a8u$ive..... But..... 😬" Like they're genuinely confused because all they've read before are the main male character doing the same things Ryle did except those were shown in a romantic or empathetic light. The ones who have successfully gotten "brainwashed" are those who justifies what Ryle did by blaming Lily for not tolerating him till he changed or just changing him herself like the female characters of other CoHo books did. Smh
I actually liked the way Atlas wrote about his childhood abuse. its such a painfully detached tone, that mimics the way i tend to narrate my abuse. stripping basically all the emotions out of it. now, this is ONLY applicable if it was ATLAS's voice causing it. but it beeing coleens does undercut it
Honestly, it's not that common for people to treat homeless folks with even that much empathy, at least where I live in Canada. Our neighbors regularly call the police on the folks that use our side yard for overnight shelter, even though WE don't have a problem with it and have asked them to stop calling. We actually have a specialized team in my city that helps folks with substance issues and unhoused people specifically and we've asked them to please at least call them instead of the cops but they refuse. It's very discouraging.
Fun fact: that kid isn’t the only gay character in the Hooververse. In Without Merit there’s a gay and a bisexual character and they’re both awful. The gay character (Utah) forcefully kissed his sister when he was 13 because he was confused about his sexuality, and the bisexual character (Luck) is their step uncle who gets with both Utah and Merit. Luck is also 20 while he tries to get with his step-niblings, both of whom are in high school Also worth noting that Luck ultimately refuses to sleep with Merit because she reminds him of their (shared) baby brother (Moby), but happily sleeps with Utah who is specifically said to look more like the brother than anybody So yeah that’s her only other queer rep, and I’m not kidding about the names in the slightest (shoutout Nikki Carreon for her service, she’s stronger than any marine)
@@lovers807 that isn’t even all of it, Merit’s sister is called Honor and her sort of boyfriend is called Sagan. Basically the only normal name in the book is Victoria and there are two of them. Her mother is called Victoria but she’s mentally ill so her father cheated on her with her nurse, also called Victoria, and got married to her instead. Throughout the book the father cheats on nurse Victoria with original Victoria, who lives in the basement, whenever original Victoria is lucid But yeah Quartz is a weird enough name to be notable ok
@@tyler-df3wyTWO Victorias???? This woman is actually insufferable idk how anyone is gobbling these books up to the point that she got a movie deal 😭😭😭
@@Tues48 very true. On one hand it feels homophobic that all the queer characters are enablers and/or abusers, but also so are all her other characters
I make a point to always have at least a couple women characters in my books not even want to have babies, even though I write 1920s/1930s stuff. And…they don’t get pregnant. I love babies, and becoming a mom was the best thing I ever did, but how much Colleen Hoover and so many others outright fetishize pregnancy, it starts to feel like they’re getting off on the presence of a baby, albeit unborn. That’s disturbing.
@@NoelleTakestheSky I'm pretty sure she has a breeding kink and she thinks everyone else has one too. I also think that's why she brings up breastfeeding in s3xual context... Cause it's a part of her breeding kink
The only props I can give to the movie creators is that they don’t seem to be making the abuse a plot twist. Like it’s absolutely gonna be an awful movie but at least they actually put the violence in the trailers so people don’t get blindsided Edit: Just got another trailer for it and fucking hell yeah I take this back. Absolutely no sign that it’s about abuse, it just looked like a romance about a lady owning a flower shop. Whoever was in charge of this marketing needs to be fired
I’ve seen soooooo many fans who are PISSED that the trailers are actually very clear about abuse. Those fuckwits seriously want people who aren’t familiar with the books to have abuse thrown in their faces with no warning. When your plot twist is “He’s abusive,” that needs to be disclosed as a content warning that this story has abuse.
The shorter trailer (or maybe it's the PG trailer? I think I saw it when I was watching the Olympics on Peacock) doesn't actually make it that clear that it's all about abuse. They have one screen of him throwing something but for the most part it's not super clear. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the longer one makes it clearer because yeah that is absolutely not a thing you just surprise people with, especially in visual form.
The credit belongs to Justin Baldoni, and Justin Baldoni only. He has done everything he could to make the movie serious and not a cute romance. Look at the way he promotes the movie "Yes domestic violence is insanely important, I am donating to a women's shelter" etc etc meanwhile Blake Lively "grab your girl friends, wear your florals watch this romantic movie 😍😍😍"
@@hashtagmate yeah if he wasn’t in charge of this movie I wouldn’t be surprised if it had been made into a fullon romcom where the abuse is a footnote. I genuinely think it could have outshadowed the book and been an actually great movie if Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds hadn’t allegedly tried to take over
Was at work and saw a kid reading "it ends with us" and when I was talking to my mum at home that it didn't seem very age appropriate for a 12 year old she started acting like I was being crazy. Wish I'd known so I didnt have to hide all the smut I was reading on Ao3 XD
In defense of the whole mistrusting CPS thing, that’s unfortunately a reflection of the actual state of child protective services in the US. It’s super, super broken and many kids get left with their very abusive parents because they’re parents. Happened to me, happened to my sister, again and again. They don’t tend to pull kids unless the abuse is extreme. Also technically Atlas may or may not have committed statutory rape because of something known as Romeo and Juliet laws, though I’m unsure about this specific case. Whether it’s morally right is a different question, though.
I’m genuinely saddened at the enduring popularity of abuse-as-romance books. These aren’t even the stories so over-the-too that they can’t be aspirational, like the dark mafia romances. The love, I mean, abuse interests are normal everyday people that many of us have been with. And now teen girls and young women are being told that these books are romance. Not thrillers (which Verity VERY much was) or general lit, but ROMANCE. I write books that have actual romance and love, but since there’s no romanticization of abuse, they will languish. Yet abuse being seen as romantic will endure. It fucking sucks.
I didn't realize Verity was listed as a romance-- I "read" it via Audible who listed it as a psychological thriller at the time I downloaded it. I read a lot of crime fiction and it was a recommend based on those reads. So weird because it isn't romantic in the slightest.
It bothers me because these guys are so fucking basic level of the human understanding of a person that adding trauma on top of it without the language is also giving the idea that this is the type of man you may want everyman in her book is like this not just ryile the other ones just don't hit the women they just get so angry they might and that's suppose to be sexy
Favourite conspiracy theory? Uneducated: 5G Me, a gentleman and a scholar: Colleen Hoover has never been to and does not know what happens at a wedding.
I think the "Dear Lily" letter is a reference to her journal being written as "Dear Ellen" letters. She gave her kid the middle name Dory, because that is the character that Ellen played. I don't think Colleen really believes that adults read her work and that is why her writing comes off as immature.
@@AK-rx8gp I agree, I think there are going to be a lot of young girls who end up in abusive relationships, because of these books and she is not the only one writing like this.
I just learned of the "It Ends With Us" film, and I believe I could hear my entire soul scream. WTF, Hollywood? Side note: You're looking especially gorgeous today, Rachel! Your outfit is so fun, and your hair and lip color play off all the colors so nicely!
I think while in a sense, I totally understand Rachel’s point about ‘why is the man being praised for the bare minimum of human decency’, I think the other part of me is like ‘well in her world of men being abusive irredeemable assholes who throw their partners down stairs as their status quo, somehow the former statutory rapist comes out looking like a saint in comparison.’ -The kicker being they both suck but still in the CH universe, that’s an act of male kindness.
I agree with you and I feel that Rachel realised this as the video progressed, because she goes from "why are we praising men for doing bare minimum?" To "wow 😐 he leaves the room for her to change alone. The bar is low guys" 😂
I feel the idea that ryle would be on his best behavior because he knows she can report him is very....suburban fairytale Because he would be nice with the baby now because its a baby. Theyre not gonna argue with u and test ur values and whatnot. Plus their divorce was recentish What about whe he becomes tired of having a kid? Or he begins testing lilys boundaries? I would not drop off my child with the harmful parent....
Babies don’t argue, but they do scream and cry and poop and vomit. Ryle could easily go over the edge because “i have an important surgery tomorrow and i need to sleep” or whatever. Many a child has been killed for crying.
(Edit to add that Maine is where Atlas and Lily were when they were teens in a relationship) About the age gap between Atlas and Lily: while what happened when they were teens was questionable at best and reprehensible at worst, I don’t think Atlas could have ever been persecuted because of Romeo and Juliet protections. Romeo and Juliet exceptions are basically "minors can have intimate relations with those close enough in age." I looked up the laws in Maine: The age of consent there is sixteen, and someone 14-15 years old having "relations" with an older person is only illegal if that person is 5 years older or more. Since the Atlas-Lily age gap was only 2.5 years, I don’t believe that their relationship was actually illegal. But morally I agree it's pretty gross.
you’re right but i think what makes it so immediately questionable is that was a specific CHOICE colleen made to put it in…. for no reason there’s never any call back to the age gap there’s no inciting incident that comes from it, if Lily was aged up to the same age as Atlas it literally changes nothing about the book…. so why do it ?
@@alyssajewell8402 Oh I 100% agree it was unnecessary and weird. Just commenting on Rachel calling him a criminal, which he technically isn't. Is it fucked up that Colleen didn't just make Lily 17 while Atlas was 18? Yes. She 100% could have done that without changing anything about the story. But it's important to acknowledge that anyone doing this in real life is not a criminal. Both for people who want to change the law to make it illegal and also for those living under it to understand their local laws and what legal options they have if they ever come across a legal situation involving young people with age gaps.
@@alisaurus4224 I said it was gross in my comment, I was just specifying it wasn’t illegal. I just wanted to talk about laws like this that technically ALLOW creepy behavior. It's a gray area, but I think there needs to be more discussion so that we can potentially change these laws.
Oh my goodness, I am extremely early! Rachel, I have to say, your videos bring such joy and light to my life. I've been struggling mentally recently and haven't been able to function properly, and then I sprained my ankle and since I'm disabled that means it's even more difficult for my mom (and sole caregiver) to take care of me. Anyway, everything kinda sucks right now but your videos always manage to make me feel better so thank you! Take care of yourself!
A window screen is literally a fabric mesh screen for home windows. They allow us to open our windows without having a plague of bugs fly in lol I learned this is an american thing and a lot of other countries dont have them.
I'm from India and people here use them, especially those living in places with a lot of mosquitoes. But we call them mosquito net doors or just mosquito nets. I too came to know through these videos that they're called window screens in the US.
I’ve lost all respect for Blake Lively because I cannot understand how she believes taking part in a motion picture production of a Colleen Hoover book tht romanticizes abuse is an okay thing to do. It’s like how Jennifer Lawrence starred in a movie playing an adult who is desperately trying to get a barely of age teenager to sleep with her. They must really need the money because wow.
IKR!!! Not only that - she, the rest of the cast except Justin and even CoHo are promoting the movie like it's some rom-com. Meanwhile Justin is trying his best to spread awareness against DV and parental a8u$e in all his promotional appearances. Even if the rest of the cast want to promote the movie separately due to some alleged internal conflicts with Justin, at least don't misrepresent the basic plot of the movie.
One time I grabbed a Nicholas Sparks book to read and got maybe a chapter at most in before I gave up. Colleen’s writing reminds me a lot of his: so, so, so many words to say absolutely nothing. That takes real talent (derogatory).
36:10 i’m glad you pointed this out!! it’s such a shame, as someone who rlly wants a kid i love them so so much at that age, my baby cousin is almost 2 now and i love her SO dearly!! she’s beyond adorable, and so bossy yet compassionate. she loves to share, to sing & dance, to garden, & make friends! she actually loves chappell roan LMAO, yes she’s a whole human!!!
I‘m at 1:37:00 and maybe it’s me, but so far this book doesn‘t seem to have a plot? Just people being mentioned, no suspense, no real interactions, even when the characters are intimate and/or abusive, it doesn‘t seem like there is content. It‘s supposed to be romance, but I don‘t see any feelings happening, just maybe the book tells us that there are feelings sometimes, but wow. I did not expect it to actually be this badly written.
I have an exam in 5.5hrs and need to sleep. I am very anxious. Rachel has such a soothing voice, she helps me calm down when trying to sleep. This is perfect 💜
@@kayahancey8095 I don’t live in Utah but I work in public education. We keep joking that we need to have “How to name your baby” classes for parents. Class 1: Vowels are not interchangeable Class 2: Q is not an acceptable replacement for K Class 3: Zander is a type of fish, avoiding names that mean things in other languages Class 4: Apostrophes and hyphens don’t work like that Class 5: Choosing normal-ish names from mythology Class 6: So you want to add a random H Class 7: Classic names, from acceptable to awful Class 8: Unique names that don’t sound like registered horse names Class 9: Ethnic names. How to avoid cultural appropriation Class 10: Why celebrity and literary names age poorly
If it's any consolation, it looks AWFUL. And not just for the reasons the book is bad, I mean just bad in general. Just google the flower shop clip of the film that's been released - the dialogue is so stilted and awkward, the actors just have nothing to work with and seem so flat.
Atlas' expectations for Lily actually fucking insane. She's a young, freshly divorced domestic abuse victim with the abuser still in her life, a single parent to a baby she needs to take care of, dealing with postpartum by herself, AND a small business owner; but she needs to put ALL THAT on hold to...text him Adding to that the misogyny, we have a man and a woman (Atlas and Lily) in similar situations (young single business owners taking care of kids by themselves), the man's situations is presented as him being a hard worker, open minded guy, busy but makes time for loved ones but also devoted to his work, but the woman needs to finish all her work in 1.5 hours so she can devote the rest of her day to a man?
And ffs Ryle is a fucking doctor but he doesn't know if a baby can eat soft potatoes? He's not even "just a doctor" he's a very rich and successful one! She could have had him ask something like "What brand of diapers does she use?" or "Does she have any appointments during the days she's supposed to spend with me?" like, anything but she chooses the question a doctor should already have an answer to? bffr
Rachel, I think you are too hard on yourself!! I often find myself marveling at your audio quality/general quality of your videos! This one was no exception
Thank you! I am sick of social media acting like she's the Jesus of romance writing! Have loved your reviews on Colleen's books. Not looking forward to the world obsessing over her again now the film is coming out uGH
on my school bus i overheard two girls (both around 14 or 15) discussing It Ends With Us and how emotional it made them. they even asked one of our teachers on the bus with us if she had seen the movie and they all had a very weird bonding experience over all liking the movie. honestly terrifying because its these types of books that make young girls not realise what abuse actually looks like and could lead to very scary scenarios that id rather not think about :(
I fell asleep while watching this video and woke on the part where you were reading a Jacqueline wilson scene without realizing and thought "wow this acutallly doesn’t sound that bad maybe collen has improved" I guess I spoke to quickly....
I have argued against Rachel's angle on some series, but Colleen Hoover definitely romanticizes abuse and its insane that shes that popular. Ive only started the video, but cant wait for the take down.
1:03:52 - You know I'd never considered that a window screen wasn't a common thing everywhere, or maybe we just call it differently - curious if that's the case. A window screen is the mesh screen in between a window and the outside, so if you open the window for fresh air, stuff like bugs or leaves can't slip through. Most homes around here have them, it's one of those things you don't really think about because it's just an assumed thing. Is it not common other places?
They are not common here in Germany and I think throughout most of europe. I always considered them a fancy/luxury thing even though they're not expensive, idk why. However I think they are becoming more common as we all get sick of the bugs in summer lol.
I saw an ad about It Ends With Us the movie this morning and I came in here planning to just have some fun listening to you take this apart. There's always serious stuff in there and it's always informative, but that sort of seriousness is stuff I am prepared for and it's all great content. I didn't expect to get absolutely WRECKED by Jacqueline Wilson in the middle there. Absolutely destroyed by that writing. I think a part of why some people will write as one-dimensional abusive parents as Colleen Hoover does about Atlas's parents is because society tries to pretend no person with any redeeming qualities would ever be abusive. For someone who hasn't experienced abuse -- or for someone who has experienced abuse but hasn't accepted that fact -- it's much easier to imagine people who are abusers as uniformly monstrous and people who are abused as unreasonable, because it's hard to accept any positive traits in an irredeemable person. I imagine it ends up working both ways: people who are acknowledged as abusers are written as if they are not human, and people who are acknowledged as humans are written as if they are not abusers, even though some of the latter are. And these messages end up echoing around the culture so that people believe this: abusers who don't think they are because they are just doing what the things these stories excuse, and victims who think they're safe because their abuser isn't the inhuman monster that they are shown as the only examples of "actual abusers." I'm sure even most of these kinds of stories, with Colleen Hoover and "dark" romance, aren't a case of someone who will not believe that they are a victim trying to escape the conclusion that they were abused. I imagine a lot of them are from people unthinkingly forwarding the culture and some of the messages are from abusers who believe their actions justified -- or at least want others to think so. But I do wonder if there are such stories out there written by someone who is trying to escape a conclusion looming over them that the things that happened to them were bad. I probably grew up in an abusive environment, even if thank everything that it wasn't as extreme as any of the examples either from Jacqueline Wilson's excerpts or your own experiences, and it's been good for me to get to hear your thoughtful commentary on these things. But golly I'm going to have to take the other half of this video later, because those excerpts ABSOLUTELY RUINED ME what good writing indeed.
About the whole needing a man to show you what love is thing. I think there's some merit to it. I went through hell with an abusive friend group and bf at the same time, and then immediately got locked in my house for covid and have struggled making good social connections since then. It's been about four years. I recently started dating someone who is incredibly loving. Ive been doing a lot of work in therapy, and I've grown a lot on my own, but it was being shown how people should've treated me that helped me understand that I actually was treated horribly. I literally did not know ppl could be nice. Being loved has genuinely changed my entire outlook on the world because I finally feel secure in my needs now that I know they can be met. However, like I said, I've done a lot of work on myself, and my reaction to my bf is gratitude and love. Not a worry its too good to be true and I'm a burden. That's because of the work I've done. It's only when you're already doing something that love is so transforming, because it makes you feel safe enough to take more risks and to ask for what you need. I don't think Colleen is wrong about the transforming power of love, but I do think showing it as inherently a hetero dating thing (it would've been the same for me if I had found a very good friend I believe), and not showing the strength and determination lily has to have to utilize love for growth and improvement is lazy and untrue in general.
So unfortunately the film version of "It Ends with Us" is coming out on Friday (which is my mom's birthday). I'm starting to feel bad for the actors who took part in this
They knew what they were getting themselves in for. The Twilight cast hadn’t had a chance to read the last book since it wasn’t out, but both of these books were out, and the cast made their choices. I’ve lost all respect for them for choosing this.
the way i’ve been binging all your colleen vidoes the last few days wishing for another one…!! rachel thank you so much for your hard work and commentary!! you’re such an amazing lovely person! i hope you have a great day ❤
0:14 flaunt it. :) I’m also rewatching the first hour because I fell asleep watching this. Doesn’t mean it was bad. I just have vague memories of being really tired and then waking up at an hour and a half.
When you read that passage out of Lola Rose out, I genuinely had tears in my eyes. It is so raw and realistic (and I'm a bit sensitive I guess lol).. I feel like one of the reasons why Hoover's books are so effective in romanticising abuse is for the lack of detail. Her inability to accurately describe the constant anxiety, the unpredictability, the mental anguish, the physical pain helps the reader to avoid the reality of abuse. All her descriptions are the dumbed down version of abuse people think of when they haven't experienced it first hand before. When they haven't given it any deeper thought than "abuse is not good!". The lack of detail and character depth makes it so much easier to pretend trauma is just another simple character flaw like being unpunctual or chewing with an open mouth.
The child services distrust is like an american thing, lots of americans hate child protective services because they 'destroy families'. Which honestly I think is just an american christian perspective that is used to let abusers keep their power over their victims.
i see where you're coming from and that may be part of it, but overall i disagree. the system really is broken. there's a concerning pattern of CPS sending foster children to abusive homes, being biased against marginalized groups, ignoring abusive homes for arbitrary reasons, etc
I had this conversation with a fellow dad at my work. We both agree that we still have no clue what's going on and that being a parent is learning on your feet 24/7
You know, Colleen Hoover and her books save me time. If anyone recommends them as great romance books, I can write off their recs as a whole. Same with Fourth Wing in fantasy. Like, if that’s the best of the genre in your opinion, I’m good 😂
@@mariammosashvili4150 it's a panel of mesh that goes outside of the glass window (or in between the two glass windows if you have double windows for insulation) to keep bugs from coming inside when you open the window. It's very standard in the US but uncommon in other places where the homes are older.
@@billcipher_wit's so common here that I didn't understand how people could jump out of windows when I was younger until very recently when I first encountered a screenless window that can open. (Also unrelated but hello fellow Gravity Falls fan, have you read the Book of Bill yet?)
1:20:37 reading things likes this makes me realise that this is why I held on to the belief that my partner was with me to ‘save me’. I’ll admit, I’ve been the toxic person in my relationship, I’ve made many mistakes, and while it’s not an excuse, and I’ve tried my hardest to learn from my mistakes, a reason why is because the stories I was reading when I was younger, stories that were my only solace in an abusive home, taught me that a partner (particularly a man) was supposed to save me from my life, and that THAT was what true love was. I’m so glad that I’ve finally taken responsibility for myself and my actions, and I can say both my partner and I are in a much better space, but it took over 5 years to realise this thought process. To think people are reading this without that context, to read this and see Atlas’ backstory and relate to it, and then to see him say that Lily ‘saved’ him, honestly terrifies me. I hope that this video opens people’s eyes to the fact that you are the only one in charge of your life, and you have to be the one to make changes and ‘save’ yourself.
Me and a friend to a bookstore today and i was literally crying to her about when is the colleen hoover obsession dying bcs im tired of her books clogging the romance section and even some thriller spots! Like even if u enjoy her stuff as guilty pleasure, its so annoying to see like 10+ colleen hoover books being promoted in whatever book selling place i go
The drama surrounding the movie is so interesting! The director also plays Ryle. He tries treating the DV theme with respect. Meanwhile Colleen, Blake Lively, and Ryan Reynolds are talking about it like a cute romcom. Madness
My brother apparently makes a decent living for a 25 year old so I'm not saying he isn't wealthy but his apartment does in fact have a walk-in. And that's in Milwaukee so while it's not New York or Chicago it's also not a small city by any means.
30:20 I can't hear any nailing sounds coming through, so while annoying for you, it didn't affect the video too badly. Also your audio is always so good and clear. I'm excited for the new mic but don't worry that your audio was bad before it's been perfectly acceptable for years
The sad truth that most abusive family situations are written how they are in Colleen books is what prevented me from realizing I was in an emotionally abusive home environment. Id think if I didn’t get a screwdriver thrown at my head I just not have had it that bad, right?
calling it now, Ellen’s gonna cameo in the movie to try to get some good publicity/salvage her reputation before she disappears. everyone forget about the toxic workplace allegations shhhhh
1:23:56, i don't think he has a point. She named her daughter after a thing she liked as a child that she also shared with an ex. My favorite show is Steven Universe. I've watched it with an ex, I've bonded over it with my husband. We had a steven universe themed wedding. Is it unfair to my husband that a thing i liked before i met my ex and my husband that i shared with both of them would still be important to me by the time i have a big event. In my case a wedding, in lily's case her child? It would one thing if the baby's middle name was Atlas or something directly related to Atlas but she liked Finding Nemo before Atlas, just because they watched it together doesn't suddenly make the event about him and the baby's middle name isn't about him, its about her comfort movie.
i haven't finished this video or read this book, but imma go out on a limb and say that ryle doesn't get another girlfriend, just bc colleen hoover's heroines have to be the only love interest. if another woman is introduced, they're either related to the main dude, they have husbands/boyfriends already, or they're a villain. and they all get pregnant.
I had to comment because of your sensory descriptions over baby smells as it really resonated with me. I don't get sensory issues with smells, but with sounds. The sound of a baby crying - that piercing wailling sound, just slices into my very core. It's awful, which I guess is the intent of the noise - to draw attention to the child, but damn is it ever awful. Painful to me, even.
I have this too! There's a particularly high-pitched wailing sound that makes me leave the room. I'm kind of okay with milky-smelling babies, tho'; usually it means that if the parent decides to change their nappy around you, the contents are relatively inoffensive, especially compared to after they start being weaned :D
Hey Rachel!! Just got to the part where you mentioned you’re bad w audio- my partner is an audio engineer and I’ve picked up a thing or two over the years! If you use premiere pro, here are settings I used with a SM7B that worked really well for me! I put them on my audio track for vocals. The order matters, these are in order top down DeEsser: -30dB threshold Highpass: 100Hz cutoff Simple Parametric EQ: 3750Hz Center Vocal Enhancer: Low Tone Single Band Compressor: 0dB gain I think we have a similar voice pitch so these may work for you!
Just to add- this will differ mic to mic and recording environment to recording environment- my office is a smaller room so that could affect things. But, usually fiddling around with settings is how you find the sweet spot haha. Also if you know all of this already I am very sorry, this isn’t meant to be condescending in any way!! I am also autistic and struggle with written tone
I’m having a difficult day but whenever u upload I use that time to care for myself and my home - THANK U FOR THE VIDEO TODAY!!! ❤❤❤ hope u are well and doggo too❤❤
I know this was mostly for the title, but according to Colleen people DID ask for it In my opinion thats worse, cause that means the readers didn't actually take it seriously. They didn't even want the second book to be a good ending, they JUST wanted to see the same thing happen with the kid because to them, that was the good ending
For anyone who may not know and be curious, a window screen is kinda like a secondary pane behind the glass that's... sorta set with a firm mesh, i guess? So, if it's warm, you can open the window to let air in without also letting, like, bugs, birds, or other various animals in. There's also screen doors that'll generally be paired with, like, glass deck/patio doors for the same general purpose. Never really occurred to me that people may not know about them! One of those neat things that it's probably geographical; UK's probably too cold/rainy for them, I suppose?
I don't know how some authors write a lot of fluff. Especially when characters are talking. Like, a character will say something such as, "You look charming." Then you get a paragraph or two of how the protagonist feels before we get their response. For me, it's distracting. I'm also someone who writes straight to the point, so. 😅
just some clarity, in a lot of places in the US its not legally statuatory rape as long as the parties within 3 years of each other. so, yes, 15 and 18 (or 17 and 20) is an uncomfortable age gap but the police dont have any reason to care
Thank you! This consensual thing can be very misconstrued! Yes it’s a law to protect us from predators but in HS You will meet people 2 yrs older and it was the PARENTS whom decided. Sadly in this day and age of we say anything we have people raging on us saying it’s assault…sure if the man was 18 or 19. Not 17. It’s a law for the reason but not this reason! And then fanatics will go it’s the law!! Omg I am a strong woman and a 17 yr old isn’t grooming me where as the teacher say at 22? Would be that’s what the law is really for not for our classmates I’m so tired of people misconstruing the law to call men rapists! I’m a feminist but see the grey damn areas again our parents had a say also in HS
@@tananario23and here we go attacking people for an old law…it’s great there are laws to protect us from adults! But not our classmates I can also make my own choices at 15 and I’m not being groomed or manipulated by someone 2 years older law yes but common sense also…
@@tananario23kinda hard when it’s literally different all over the US! I’m curious too what it is in Europe ? But 15 and 17 is very realistic and as a young woman I could take care of myself but then someone will come along and say omg that’s the law so it’s rape!! no it’s not!! there’s ambiguity with a kid within 2 yrs older and under 18 🤦♀️
I came on here to make sure Rachel knows about window screens. Lol. I didn't even know Europeans don't usually have these until I saw a video where a Brit mentioned how great US window screens are. Do they just not have mosquitoes in the UK? I imagine it's to do with not being all that hot there until recently. ...i recall living in North Dakota had many fewer bugs to screen then Texas or warmer places
@@cerin59 As a Brit living in the US, I can agree, they are great. We do get mosquitoes in the UK but no where near the amount in the US. Apparently they're getting more of them now that the temperature has gone up in recent summers. I'm not sure why we don't have window screens though 🤔
The comparison of scenes from CoHo's books vs other works was really well done by you, Rachel. When I listen to CoHo's depictions of abuse, I feel nothing; I can just take it in like a newspaper article. Meanwhile that other scene you read evoked a visceral sensation of fear and dread in me. Thank you for showing the difference, that's very helpful for all writers watching :) (My wording is not the best right now, I am a little shaken)
The wild part? The director did this whole thing about being a feminist/a “good” man, back when his series (“Jane the Virgin”) was wrapping up. You can look it up. 😂
If it means anything, your sound quality is already pretty good. I couldn't hear any noise from your upstairs neighbors, even after you pointed it out. You're doing great!!!
Re: walking closets. Maybe it's just my russian-american family but we absolutely use it as a combination of clothes closet and storage unit for appliances, unopened pantry items, etc
I personally love "one true love" idea because thats what i always wanted myself. I always dreamt of meeting a person and being together forever. Im also demisexual and demiromantic which also makes stuff harder. I never wanted to date different people and never felt attraction to someone who i didnt built a relationship with. It might be silly but thats how i feel, i just want to meet someone and be happy together forever. Idea of more of different partners throught the life tbh makes me want to just be single. I dont want different partners i wsnt "the one". I know, sounds silly. But i like learning about other ppls perspectives!
Fun fact I've looked into further since filming: It Ends With Us was released in 2016, Justin Baldoni started trying to get it made into a film in 2019, in January 2023 casting started for the film, in July 2023 It Starts With Us was released. So Colleen clearly just promoted Justin's book in here because he was directing the film of her book. It makes sense but it's pretty funny.
Justin Baldoni wanted that crap to be made into a film?! I didn't even realize that. I thought this was all CoHo's idea. Thank you for the fun fact that I didn't even know about until now
@@mikalcarruthers I've never read her books 📚 before. I just know from reviews that that are bad.
Most unrealistic part: Atlas as a chef has a weekend off and isn’t doing cocaine
😂
He's cooking sober, already suspicious
@@wiktoriakos2597 For more than just himself and the person he wants to bang.
Maybe he works at a cantine at a big company and they’re only open on weekdays. But otherwise I get what you mean.
@@revi6482 it says in the text that he’s a chef at a high end restaurant. A chef at a high end restaurant in Boston would probably be working 80-100 hours a week. My fiancé is a chef and he was offered a job as executive chef at a high end resort in a rich tourist town. When he was talking with the current chef, the current one admitted that working as a line cook wouldn’t be bad, but you wouldn’t want to be in charge of this place unless you want to work 16 hour days. Where my boyfriend works now, he works about 50 hours a week in the summer and 30 in the winter when they’re only open 4 days a week. Even in winter, it’s difficult for him to get a weekend off. He did take a Saturday off a few years ago so we could go to a concert. He purposely left his phone at the hotel so he wouldn’t be bothered. Of course when we did get back, he had like 20+ missed calls and I forget how many text messages about petty stuff from the restaurant (dishwasher complaining about waitstaff, bartender complaining about sous chef, a customer/friend who wanted to know why he wasn’t cooking that night, etc)
Ah, BookTok. Never change. Actually, please change.
But what about all the video essays we’ll lose if they become normal people ☹️
@@CesRaisonstrue, so many cc will have to find smt else to talk about😞
Something that I don’t think Rachel pointed out in her criticism of Rile’s parental incompetence is that it would be really bad for any dad to not know what his 11 month old can and can’t eat, but it’s especially bad that Rule doesn’t because HES A DOCTOR. Like I know he’s not a pediatrician, but all doctors have to do a pediatrics rotation. He should know the basics of infant nutrition needs. But no, his florist ex-wife knows basic human nutritional needs better than he, an a M.D. does. Which tells me that Rile is a terrible doctor as well as father and husband, or he’s such a rabid misogynist that his brain somehow filtered out all the medical knowledge that might be something a mom would know.
rile sure gets.. riled up
ahahahahahaha
i'm sorry i think i'm funny
@@the-first-of-her-name girl, I’ve been familiar with this book and the characters for over two years and I still laugh audible whenever I think “boy, that Rile sure gets riled up easy.” I chuckled when I read this reply.
Oh God why did I not notice this? Oh well CoHo has not written anything to show that he's a doctor other than just reminding us from time to time like "oh, btw he's a neurosurgeon. Remember?"
THANK YOU!!!! I was literally about to comment this because fucking hell that shit makes me so mad. Has the author forgotten the occupation of her own characters, has she not spent a lick of time even googling how anything works or is he truly just an imposter, because he now is not only way too young to be a neurosurgeon (as opposed to like a surgical resident?) he is now also utterly incompetent. Please I beg this can’t be real lmfao
it really does feel like rile was just made a neurosurgeon only so that lily could be like "omg I love his scrubs"
Colleen "we both laughed at our sons huge balls" hoover threatens to publish yet another book
_and the world cowers in horror_
I still think she should've been banned from writing books as soon as she wrote that line unironically
Amazing that the MC just *hopes* her ex is not going to abuse their vulnerable daughter. She is also awfully unbothered by the ex feeding junk food to an infant. That man is supposed to be a doctor so he knows better. As much as Hoover wants us to believe she broke the cycle, Lily is just an enabler.
That's such a good point. It has just hit me that could be from Lily's own experience with abuse in her family. Her dad was abusive to her mum but he never hurt her. Maybe in her head that means that aslong as there is no woman/ significant other for Ryle to abuse, then her daughter won't experience or witness abuse. Which is crazy because the first book tries to play off Ryle's abuse as fits of rage where he blacks out and it's out of his control, but if he can act that way only with romantic or sexual partners, that suggests a significant amount of control and intention.
The fact that u kept accidentally saying Ryle and Atlas’s names interchangeably is so real. All her characters are the same people.
Also, about the French fries thing. He. Is. A. Doctor. He should know how to easily get a hold of this information if he doesn’t already know
Huh? This is a matter of individual development. Not every baby is the same when it comes to how readily they adjust from soft to hard foods. I understand he should know this because it's _his daughter_ but being a doctor can't tell you about the individual needs of every child unless you're a pediatrician.
@@theflyingspaget he should be able to recognise when the child is ready to eat a certain food. If he's that blind to developmental cues I would be concerned about his ability to practise medicine in general. And even general medical education teaches at least basic child development.
@@ArinellSnap seriously. They have pamphlets about this at the health department. I’m pretty sure his waiting room has copies of parenting magazines regardless of what his specialty is.
14:32 why is she giving her child, unsupervised to a man who goes into violent blackout rages and has hit her and pushed her down the stairs before? In what world is that safe? What if the baby cries too long and he shakes it? I would never feel safe leaving a defenceless baby who cant even talk to tell me what happened with someone who treats other people like that.
She legally has too. It explains well in the book.
Honestly unfortunately it's not uncommon. If you didn't document the abuse, you don't have a leg to stand on in court, especially if the other parent is in a wealthy, well-respected profession such as a doctor. Happened to my sister who ultimately left her husband with a baby after he physically abused her long-term. Unfortunately, she hadn't documented the abuse (as a lot of women don't) and so she had no evidence. When she brought it up in court, since she had no evidence, it was viewed as "parental alienation" which is where you try to turn your child against the other parent. As a result he was afforded more custody time than he would've had if she'd kept quiet. And he wasn't even a doctor lol, he was a builder.
In that case, you don't have many options. You can 1. Run away with your child. This is considered kidnapping and you will be caught, you will be sent to prison or fined, you will lose custody, and your child will be given fully to the other parent.
2. You can refuse to leave the child unsupervised with the other parent. This would be considered a breach of the custody agreement where each parent is expected to have unsupervised time with the child. Your partner can very easily go back to court (especially if he's rich af) and tell them what you're doing. The court would usually consider whether the supervision is warranted or not, and as you have zero evidence of abuse, it's not warranted. Further, the court could again consider you as committing parental alienation by making the child view their other parent in a certain light (that they're unsafe to be around ...even if they are). Engaging in 'parental alienation' leads to you getting reduced custody.
3. You leave the child unsupervised with the other parent, hope and pray nothing happens, try to pacify your ex-partner, and document any behaviour that could back up your proof of abuse. That's it. That's really your only option.
The men who say the courts are always biased in favour of the mother are generally wrong. It can happen but these guys often haven't even been to court and are taking anecdotal evidence from bitter friends. All a father needs to do is have an interest in his child, attend court, and not be a _documented_ scumbag to get joint custody.
"Are we sure Colleen Hoover isn't being paid by the word?" LOL facts
I still can't believe that these books got a film out of it. Wow, this makes Christian Grey look like a decent boyfriend! I really don't love how these books glamorise abusive relationships, child abuse and statutory rape, Stockholm syndrome is not cute and not being able to see the red flags isn't love. There's no care, no tact and no thought in Colleen's writing. Why the hell did a publisher think that this was a good idea to publish?
Because this shit sells. I’m an author and my books don’t portray abuse as romance. I’ve gotten a lot of praise for how I write and how genuine the relationships seem, but the criticism I get the most is that the male love interests aren’t mean enough. FFS, I write people who kill people, but because they aren’t hitting the women, they’re too nice?! I have quite a few acquaintances who write that abuse bullshit, and write it so badly in general that it’s hard to read, romanticization of abuse aside (jumps from person to person so often that there’s no time for pronouns to be used, tagging dialog for one person with the actions of another, characters all sounding the same, absolutely weak plots, plots that make no sense, have they ever heard of dictionaries, etc), yet they sell like crazy because most readers want abuse. It’s not even the stuff that’s so over-the-top that it can’t be aspirational, like Italian mafia billionaires in Spain or something. It’s everyday people who are obtainable, everyday people that many of us have been with. Those are the abusers, and readers eat that shit up. That’s why publishers publish this shit.
I’ll languish in obscurity with my much fewer sales before selling out to that.
@@NoelleTakestheSkythanks so much for that. That stuff makes me so upset and makes me stay away from women as well as males. It is ridiculous how much too many women buy in to this and like it. It is refreshing when I hear and read women who speak the truth! Thanks 🙏🏻 again.
Thanks 🙏🏻 so much for this! It is so gross how many women are in to this!
Honestly I think Christian still comes out worse IMO, like Rile is a controlling POS but Christin had the money and clout to do a fuckton of damage with his controlling POS nature ... and Ana still stays with him at the end
would love to read your books ❤@@NoelleTakestheSky
Ryle? Romanticized abuse aside, not sure if I could get through a book who’s author seems to be having a Most Unique Name Contest with herself.
Miles Archer takes the cake for me. He’s a pilot who flies a lot of miles, and an Archer is a plane by Piper. Only way Miles’s name could be worse was if he was a she, and she was named Piper Archer. I’d actually credit her for being a bit clever on that one since Piper is a subtle aviation reference.
I think Allysa might be my favorite. Double L's and one s? Colleen was really on the Mykayieghla train with that one
@@Ceruleansquid-lo3ivI read that as "all aiza" bls
just a little bit of r/Tragedeigh. But then again, the protag's name is literally "Lily Blossom Bloom"..... ahem.
@@hexonyou"I write Synnes not Tragedeighs" - Colleen Hoover, probably 🥲
Just spotted on Colleen's Wiki entry: "As of October 2022, Hoover has sold approximately 10 books. She was named one of the 100 dumbest people in the world by Time magazine in 2023." I'm guessing whoever wrote that is... not a fan.
💀💀💀
59:42 I feel like this bit here is the perfect example of why these books don't work as a cautionary tale about abuse. Atlas does the exact same thing Ryle does in the first book, read Lily's journal without her consent and invade her privacy, but this time its played off as okay and kind of cute. Colleen seems to have this juvenile view of the world where only bad people do bad things, so if a "good" person like Atlas does a bad thing, it's actually not bad at all. It just furthers the point Rachel makes that Ryle actually isn't any different than any of Colleen's other leading men, the only difference is his abusive behavior is accurately described as abusive and not sexy.
seems like she just wanted to rewrite the first book but tone it down so she could make him the good guy this time
This "brainwashing" can be seen in her fans. You can see them be like "yeah he is a8u$ive..... But..... 😬" Like they're genuinely confused because all they've read before are the main male character doing the same things Ryle did except those were shown in a romantic or empathetic light. The ones who have successfully gotten "brainwashed" are those who justifies what Ryle did by blaming Lily for not tolerating him till he changed or just changing him herself like the female characters of other CoHo books did. Smh
I actually liked the way Atlas wrote about his childhood abuse.
its such a painfully detached tone, that mimics the way i tend to narrate my abuse.
stripping basically all the emotions out of it.
now, this is ONLY applicable if it was ATLAS's voice causing it. but it beeing coleens does undercut it
Honestly, it's not that common for people to treat homeless folks with even that much empathy, at least where I live in Canada. Our neighbors regularly call the police on the folks that use our side yard for overnight shelter, even though WE don't have a problem with it and have asked them to stop calling. We actually have a specialized team in my city that helps folks with substance issues and unhoused people specifically and we've asked them to please at least call them instead of the cops but they refuse. It's very discouraging.
That's awful :(
Fun fact: that kid isn’t the only gay character in the Hooververse. In Without Merit there’s a gay and a bisexual character and they’re both awful. The gay character (Utah) forcefully kissed his sister when he was 13 because he was confused about his sexuality, and the bisexual character (Luck) is their step uncle who gets with both Utah and Merit. Luck is also 20 while he tries to get with his step-niblings, both of whom are in high school
Also worth noting that Luck ultimately refuses to sleep with Merit because she reminds him of their (shared) baby brother (Moby), but happily sleeps with Utah who is specifically said to look more like the brother than anybody
So yeah that’s her only other queer rep, and I’m not kidding about the names in the slightest (shoutout Nikki Carreon for her service, she’s stronger than any marine)
These names are absolutely ridiculous how can she even write a full novel with characters named like this it’s actually awful to look at
@@lovers807 that isn’t even all of it, Merit’s sister is called Honor and her sort of boyfriend is called Sagan. Basically the only normal name in the book is Victoria and there are two of them. Her mother is called Victoria but she’s mentally ill so her father cheated on her with her nurse, also called Victoria, and got married to her instead. Throughout the book the father cheats on nurse Victoria with original Victoria, who lives in the basement, whenever original Victoria is lucid
But yeah Quartz is a weird enough name to be notable ok
@@tyler-df3wyTWO Victorias???? This woman is actually insufferable idk how anyone is gobbling these books up to the point that she got a movie deal 😭😭😭
Can't forgot about Devin from It ends with us. Lily goes to a party with him and Devin lets Ryle kidnap Lily from the party.
@@Tues48 very true. On one hand it feels homophobic that all the queer characters are enablers and/or abusers, but also so are all her other characters
Colleen Hoover probably:
No womb left behind!
I make a point to always have at least a couple women characters in my books not even want to have babies, even though I write 1920s/1930s stuff. And…they don’t get pregnant. I love babies, and becoming a mom was the best thing I ever did, but how much Colleen Hoover and so many others outright fetishize pregnancy, it starts to feel like they’re getting off on the presence of a baby, albeit unborn. That’s disturbing.
@@NoelleTakestheSky I'm pretty sure she has a breeding kink and she thinks everyone else has one too. I also think that's why she brings up breastfeeding in s3xual context... Cause it's a part of her breeding kink
@@NoelleTakestheSky Breeding kink 😭
The only props I can give to the movie creators is that they don’t seem to be making the abuse a plot twist. Like it’s absolutely gonna be an awful movie but at least they actually put the violence in the trailers so people don’t get blindsided
Edit: Just got another trailer for it and fucking hell yeah I take this back. Absolutely no sign that it’s about abuse, it just looked like a romance about a lady owning a flower shop. Whoever was in charge of this marketing needs to be fired
I’ve seen soooooo many fans who are PISSED that the trailers are actually very clear about abuse. Those fuckwits seriously want people who aren’t familiar with the books to have abuse thrown in their faces with no warning. When your plot twist is “He’s abusive,” that needs to be disclosed as a content warning that this story has abuse.
The shorter trailer (or maybe it's the PG trailer? I think I saw it when I was watching the Olympics on Peacock) doesn't actually make it that clear that it's all about abuse. They have one screen of him throwing something but for the most part it's not super clear. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the longer one makes it clearer because yeah that is absolutely not a thing you just surprise people with, especially in visual form.
The credit belongs to Justin Baldoni, and Justin Baldoni only. He has done everything he could to make the movie serious and not a cute romance. Look at the way he promotes the movie "Yes domestic violence is insanely important, I am donating to a women's shelter" etc etc meanwhile Blake Lively "grab your girl friends, wear your florals watch this romantic movie 😍😍😍"
@@hashtagmate yeah if he wasn’t in charge of this movie I wouldn’t be surprised if it had been made into a fullon romcom where the abuse is a footnote. I genuinely think it could have outshadowed the book and been an actually great movie if Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds hadn’t allegedly tried to take over
“You can’t compromise with an active abuser”
Yes! I actually clapped my hands at this
Oh she’s FEEDING us today ❤ thank you for your unending service Rachel!
I need Rachel merch that just says “Stop it.”
Also, how are THESE the books that become famous and get movies? 😭
Was at work and saw a kid reading "it ends with us" and when I was talking to my mum at home that it didn't seem very age appropriate for a 12 year old she started acting like I was being crazy. Wish I'd known so I didnt have to hide all the smut I was reading on Ao3 XD
In defense of the whole mistrusting CPS thing, that’s unfortunately a reflection of the actual state of child protective services in the US. It’s super, super broken and many kids get left with their very abusive parents because they’re parents. Happened to me, happened to my sister, again and again. They don’t tend to pull kids unless the abuse is extreme.
Also technically Atlas may or may not have committed statutory rape because of something known as Romeo and Juliet laws, though I’m unsure about this specific case. Whether it’s morally right is a different question, though.
I’m genuinely saddened at the enduring popularity of abuse-as-romance books. These aren’t even the stories so over-the-too that they can’t be aspirational, like the dark mafia romances. The love, I mean, abuse interests are normal everyday people that many of us have been with. And now teen girls and young women are being told that these books are romance. Not thrillers (which Verity VERY much was) or general lit, but ROMANCE. I write books that have actual romance and love, but since there’s no romanticization of abuse, they will languish. Yet abuse being seen as romantic will endure. It fucking sucks.
THANK YOU! You said exactly what I needed to hear. Don't worry. Not all young people have taken the bait.
I didn't realize Verity was listed as a romance-- I "read" it via Audible who listed it as a psychological thriller at the time I downloaded it. I read a lot of crime fiction and it was a recommend based on those reads. So weird because it isn't romantic in the slightest.
It bothers me because these guys are so fucking basic level of the human understanding of a person that adding trauma on top of it without the language is also giving the idea that this is the type of man you may want everyman in her book is like this not just ryile the other ones just don't hit the women they just get so angry they might and that's suppose to be sexy
That quip at the beginning about it being her childhood love but not his was so good lol
Ironically, this video got interrupted by an ad for the It Ends With Us movie.
Favourite conspiracy theory?
Uneducated: 5G
Me, a gentleman and a scholar: Colleen Hoover has never been to and does not know what happens at a wedding.
I think the "Dear Lily" letter is a reference to her journal being written as "Dear Ellen" letters.
She gave her kid the middle name Dory, because that is the character that Ellen played.
I don't think Colleen really believes that adults read her work and that is why her writing comes off as immature.
Her knowing that kids read her books makes her even worse
@@AK-rx8gp I agree, I think there are going to be a lot of young girls who end up in abusive relationships, because of these books and she is not the only one writing like this.
I just learned of the "It Ends With Us" film, and I believe I could hear my entire soul scream. WTF, Hollywood?
Side note: You're looking especially gorgeous today, Rachel! Your outfit is so fun, and your hair and lip color play off all the colors so nicely!
I think while in a sense, I totally understand Rachel’s point about ‘why is the man being praised for the bare minimum of human decency’, I think the other part of me is like ‘well in her world of men being abusive irredeemable assholes who throw their partners down stairs as their status quo, somehow the former statutory rapist comes out looking like a saint in comparison.’ -The kicker being they both suck but still in the CH universe, that’s an act of male kindness.
I agree with you and I feel that Rachel realised this as the video progressed, because she goes from "why are we praising men for doing bare minimum?" To "wow 😐 he leaves the room for her to change alone. The bar is low guys" 😂
@@OopsIDidItAgainUh
The bar is so low it’s headed into the 9th circle of hell
@@my_girl_seraphine5294
It's so low that it created its own circle.
And that is *exactly* why rachel is criticizing it. Some people need to be reminded that this is not praiseworthy, he's still shitty and abusive
2:01 I met someone whose parents named her Raven Mourningdove. Lily blossom bloom is ALMOST as heavy handed as that.
"By one year old they're starting to show some personality." Right? I'm a new aunt and I was surprised at how much personality a 6 month old has!
I'm also a new aunt. It's true! My sister in law said the baby is "not a potato anymore"
I feel the idea that ryle would be on his best behavior because he knows she can report him is very....suburban fairytale
Because he would be nice with the baby now because its a baby. Theyre not gonna argue with u and test ur values and whatnot. Plus their divorce was recentish
What about whe he becomes tired of having a kid? Or he begins testing lilys boundaries?
I would not drop off my child with the harmful parent....
Babies don’t argue, but they do scream and cry and poop and vomit. Ryle could easily go over the edge because “i have an important surgery tomorrow and i need to sleep” or whatever. Many a child has been killed for crying.
(Edit to add that Maine is where Atlas and Lily were when they were teens in a relationship)
About the age gap between Atlas and Lily: while what happened when they were teens was questionable at best and reprehensible at worst, I don’t think Atlas could have ever been persecuted because of Romeo and Juliet protections. Romeo and Juliet exceptions are basically "minors can have intimate relations with those close enough in age." I looked up the laws in Maine: The age of consent there is sixteen, and someone 14-15 years old having "relations" with an older person is only illegal if that person is 5 years older or more. Since the Atlas-Lily age gap was only 2.5 years, I don’t believe that their relationship was actually illegal. But morally I agree it's pretty gross.
you’re right but i think what makes it so immediately questionable is that was a specific CHOICE colleen made to put it in…. for no reason
there’s never any call back to the age gap there’s no inciting incident that comes from it, if Lily was aged up to the same age as Atlas it literally changes nothing about the book…. so why do it ?
@@alyssajewell8402 Oh I 100% agree it was unnecessary and weird. Just commenting on Rachel calling him a criminal, which he technically isn't. Is it fucked up that Colleen didn't just make Lily 17 while Atlas was 18? Yes. She 100% could have done that without changing anything about the story. But it's important to acknowledge that anyone doing this in real life is not a criminal. Both for people who want to change the law to make it illegal and also for those living under it to understand their local laws and what legal options they have if they ever come across a legal situation involving young people with age gaps.
Atlas specifically waited until Lily turned 16 to sleep with her, on that same day. He knew it was creepy
@@alisaurus4224 I said it was gross in my comment, I was just specifying it wasn’t illegal. I just wanted to talk about laws like this that technically ALLOW creepy behavior. It's a gray area, but I think there needs to be more discussion so that we can potentially change these laws.
Oh my goodness, I am extremely early! Rachel, I have to say, your videos bring such joy and light to my life. I've been struggling mentally recently and haven't been able to function properly, and then I sprained my ankle and since I'm disabled that means it's even more difficult for my mom (and sole caregiver) to take care of me. Anyway, everything kinda sucks right now but your videos always manage to make me feel better so thank you! Take care of yourself!
Thank you! Hope you're doing ok too ❤
A window screen is literally a fabric mesh screen for home windows. They allow us to open our windows without having a plague of bugs fly in lol
I learned this is an american thing and a lot of other countries dont have them.
I'm from India and people here use them, especially those living in places with a lot of mosquitoes. But we call them mosquito net doors or just mosquito nets. I too came to know through these videos that they're called window screens in the US.
I’ve lost all respect for Blake Lively because I cannot understand how she believes taking part in a motion picture production of a Colleen Hoover book tht romanticizes abuse is an okay thing to do. It’s like how Jennifer Lawrence starred in a movie playing an adult who is desperately trying to get a barely of age teenager to sleep with her. They must really need the money because wow.
IKR!!! Not only that - she, the rest of the cast except Justin and even CoHo are promoting the movie like it's some rom-com. Meanwhile Justin is trying his best to spread awareness against DV and parental a8u$e in all his promotional appearances. Even if the rest of the cast want to promote the movie separately due to some alleged internal conflicts with Justin, at least don't misrepresent the basic plot of the movie.
One time I grabbed a Nicholas Sparks book to read and got maybe a chapter at most in before I gave up. Colleen’s writing reminds me a lot of his: so, so, so many words to say absolutely nothing. That takes real talent (derogatory).
This 😂
36:10 i’m glad you pointed this out!! it’s such a shame, as someone who rlly wants a kid i love them so so much at that age, my baby cousin is almost 2 now and i love her SO dearly!! she’s beyond adorable, and so bossy yet compassionate. she loves to share, to sing & dance, to garden, & make friends! she actually loves chappell roan LMAO, yes she’s a whole human!!!
She sounds so cute!!
I‘m at 1:37:00 and maybe it’s me, but so far this book doesn‘t seem to have a plot? Just people being mentioned, no suspense, no real interactions, even when the characters are intimate and/or abusive, it doesn‘t seem like there is content. It‘s supposed to be romance, but I don‘t see any feelings happening, just maybe the book tells us that there are feelings sometimes, but wow. I did not expect it to actually be this badly written.
Hope you have many Kyra cuddles after having to suffer through more Colleen Hoover content
I have an exam in 5.5hrs and need to sleep. I am very anxious. Rachel has such a soothing voice, she helps me calm down when trying to sleep. This is perfect 💜
honestly we should all dress to the nines after dealing with horrible nonsense
I live in Utah and I'm so desensitized to weird names that these names don't even faze me
@@kayahancey8095 I don’t live in Utah but I work in public education. We keep joking that we need to have “How to name your baby” classes for parents.
Class 1: Vowels are not interchangeable
Class 2: Q is not an acceptable replacement for K
Class 3: Zander is a type of fish, avoiding names that mean things in other languages
Class 4: Apostrophes and hyphens don’t work like that
Class 5: Choosing normal-ish names from mythology
Class 6: So you want to add a random H
Class 7: Classic names, from acceptable to awful
Class 8: Unique names that don’t sound like registered horse names
Class 9: Ethnic names. How to avoid cultural appropriation
Class 10: Why celebrity and literary names age poorly
@@michiganscythian2445 haha I live in Utah and work in public education and I completely agree 😂
this is ridiculous.. A MOVIE???? They’re making of movie of this bs? I genuinely am at a loss of words.
If it's any consolation, it looks AWFUL. And not just for the reasons the book is bad, I mean just bad in general. Just google the flower shop clip of the film that's been released - the dialogue is so stilted and awkward, the actors just have nothing to work with and seem so flat.
Atlas' expectations for Lily actually fucking insane. She's a young, freshly divorced domestic abuse victim with the abuser still in her life, a single parent to a baby she needs to take care of, dealing with postpartum by herself, AND a small business owner; but she needs to put ALL THAT on hold to...text him
Adding to that the misogyny, we have a man and a woman (Atlas and Lily) in similar situations (young single business owners taking care of kids by themselves), the man's situations is presented as him being a hard worker, open minded guy, busy but makes time for loved ones but also devoted to his work, but the woman needs to finish all her work in 1.5 hours so she can devote the rest of her day to a man?
And ffs Ryle is a fucking doctor but he doesn't know if a baby can eat soft potatoes? He's not even "just a doctor" he's a very rich and successful one! She could have had him ask something like "What brand of diapers does she use?" or "Does she have any appointments during the days she's supposed to spend with me?" like, anything but she chooses the question a doctor should already have an answer to? bffr
so glad we’re being spoiled with bad book reviews!
Rachel, I think you are too hard on yourself!! I often find myself marveling at your audio quality/general quality of your videos! This one was no exception
Thank you! I am sick of social media acting like she's the Jesus of romance writing! Have loved your reviews on Colleen's books. Not looking forward to the world obsessing over her again now the film is coming out uGH
so excited I got here 33 seconds after posting
on my school bus i overheard two girls (both around 14 or 15) discussing It Ends With Us and how emotional it made them. they even asked one of our teachers on the bus with us if she had seen the movie and they all had a very weird bonding experience over all liking the movie. honestly terrifying because its these types of books that make young girls not realise what abuse actually looks like and could lead to very scary scenarios that id rather not think about :(
I fell asleep while watching this video and woke on the part where you were reading a Jacqueline wilson scene without realizing and thought "wow this acutallly doesn’t sound that bad maybe collen has improved" I guess I spoke to quickly....
I have argued against Rachel's angle on some series, but Colleen Hoover definitely romanticizes abuse and its insane that shes that popular. Ive only started the video, but cant wait for the take down.
1:03:52 - You know I'd never considered that a window screen wasn't a common thing everywhere, or maybe we just call it differently - curious if that's the case. A window screen is the mesh screen in between a window and the outside, so if you open the window for fresh air, stuff like bugs or leaves can't slip through. Most homes around here have them, it's one of those things you don't really think about because it's just an assumed thing. Is it not common other places?
It think in Britain, particularly older homes it's not common! Less bugs overall maybe?
It's very common in Africa, and if your window screen is damaged in any way, you get a scorpion in your shower sponge. Ask me how I know...
They are not common here in Germany and I think throughout most of europe. I always considered them a fancy/luxury thing even though they're not expensive, idk why. However I think they are becoming more common as we all get sick of the bugs in summer lol.
@@kodamaspirit9298 hi, fellow African ;)
They don’t seem to be common in Europe based on the places I’ve been. See also: sheets. Drives me crazy!
I saw an ad about It Ends With Us the movie this morning and I came in here planning to just have some fun listening to you take this apart. There's always serious stuff in there and it's always informative, but that sort of seriousness is stuff I am prepared for and it's all great content.
I didn't expect to get absolutely WRECKED by Jacqueline Wilson in the middle there. Absolutely destroyed by that writing.
I think a part of why some people will write as one-dimensional abusive parents as Colleen Hoover does about Atlas's parents is because society tries to pretend no person with any redeeming qualities would ever be abusive. For someone who hasn't experienced abuse -- or for someone who has experienced abuse but hasn't accepted that fact -- it's much easier to imagine people who are abusers as uniformly monstrous and people who are abused as unreasonable, because it's hard to accept any positive traits in an irredeemable person.
I imagine it ends up working both ways: people who are acknowledged as abusers are written as if they are not human, and people who are acknowledged as humans are written as if they are not abusers, even though some of the latter are. And these messages end up echoing around the culture so that people believe this: abusers who don't think they are because they are just doing what the things these stories excuse, and victims who think they're safe because their abuser isn't the inhuman monster that they are shown as the only examples of "actual abusers."
I'm sure even most of these kinds of stories, with Colleen Hoover and "dark" romance, aren't a case of someone who will not believe that they are a victim trying to escape the conclusion that they were abused. I imagine a lot of them are from people unthinkingly forwarding the culture and some of the messages are from abusers who believe their actions justified -- or at least want others to think so. But I do wonder if there are such stories out there written by someone who is trying to escape a conclusion looming over them that the things that happened to them were bad.
I probably grew up in an abusive environment, even if thank everything that it wasn't as extreme as any of the examples either from Jacqueline Wilson's excerpts or your own experiences, and it's been good for me to get to hear your thoughtful commentary on these things.
But golly I'm going to have to take the other half of this video later, because those excerpts ABSOLUTELY RUINED ME what good writing indeed.
About the whole needing a man to show you what love is thing. I think there's some merit to it. I went through hell with an abusive friend group and bf at the same time, and then immediately got locked in my house for covid and have struggled making good social connections since then. It's been about four years. I recently started dating someone who is incredibly loving. Ive been doing a lot of work in therapy, and I've grown a lot on my own, but it was being shown how people should've treated me that helped me understand that I actually was treated horribly. I literally did not know ppl could be nice. Being loved has genuinely changed my entire outlook on the world because I finally feel secure in my needs now that I know they can be met.
However, like I said, I've done a lot of work on myself, and my reaction to my bf is gratitude and love. Not a worry its too good to be true and I'm a burden. That's because of the work I've done. It's only when you're already doing something that love is so transforming, because it makes you feel safe enough to take more risks and to ask for what you need. I don't think Colleen is wrong about the transforming power of love, but I do think showing it as inherently a hetero dating thing (it would've been the same for me if I had found a very good friend I believe), and not showing the strength and determination lily has to have to utilize love for growth and improvement is lazy and untrue in general.
So unfortunately the film version of "It Ends with Us" is coming out on Friday (which is my mom's birthday). I'm starting to feel bad for the actors who took part in this
They knew what they were getting themselves in for. The Twilight cast hadn’t had a chance to read the last book since it wasn’t out, but both of these books were out, and the cast made their choices. I’ve lost all respect for them for choosing this.
@@NoelleTakestheSkyMaybe you're right on that point as well
the way i’ve been binging all your colleen vidoes the last few days wishing for another one…!! rachel thank you so much for your hard work and commentary!! you’re such an amazing lovely person! i hope you have a great day ❤
0:14 flaunt it. :) I’m also rewatching the first hour because I fell asleep watching this. Doesn’t mean it was bad. I just have vague memories of being really tired and then waking up at an hour and a half.
When you read that passage out of Lola Rose out, I genuinely had tears in my eyes. It is so raw and realistic (and I'm a bit sensitive I guess lol)..
I feel like one of the reasons why Hoover's books are so effective in romanticising abuse is for the lack of detail. Her inability to accurately describe the constant anxiety, the unpredictability, the mental anguish, the physical pain helps the reader to avoid the reality of abuse.
All her descriptions are the dumbed down version of abuse people think of when they haven't experienced it first hand before. When they haven't given it any deeper thought than "abuse is not good!".
The lack of detail and character depth makes it so much easier to pretend trauma is just another simple character flaw like being unpunctual or chewing with an open mouth.
The child services distrust is like an american thing, lots of americans hate child protective services because they 'destroy families'. Which honestly I think is just an american christian perspective that is used to let abusers keep their power over their victims.
i see where you're coming from and that may be part of it, but overall i disagree. the system really is broken. there's a concerning pattern of CPS sending foster children to abusive homes, being biased against marginalized groups, ignoring abusive homes for arbitrary reasons, etc
@@craighound That's actually an excellent point that i didn't even consider. Thank you for pointing it out.
I had this conversation with a fellow dad at my work. We both agree that we still have no clue what's going on and that being a parent is learning on your feet 24/7
You know, Colleen Hoover and her books save me time. If anyone recommends them as great romance books, I can write off their recs as a whole. Same with Fourth Wing in fantasy. Like, if that’s the best of the genre in your opinion, I’m good 😂
And not to mention, Ryle is a doctor, he should have at least an idea of what HIS baby eats 😭😭😭
"Idk what a window screen is" oh you poor brit 😂
I also don't know what it is, what is it?
@@mariammosashvili4150 it's a panel of mesh that goes outside of the glass window (or in between the two glass windows if you have double windows for insulation) to keep bugs from coming inside when you open the window. It's very standard in the US but uncommon in other places where the homes are older.
@@billcipher_wit's so common here that I didn't understand how people could jump out of windows when I was younger until very recently when I first encountered a screenless window that can open.
(Also unrelated but hello fellow Gravity Falls fan, have you read the Book of Bill yet?)
@@theflyingspaget i used to wonder the same thing! & my copy arrives tomorrow i'm very excited to read it lol
1:20:37 reading things likes this makes me realise that this is why I held on to the belief that my partner was with me to ‘save me’. I’ll admit, I’ve been the toxic person in my relationship, I’ve made many mistakes, and while it’s not an excuse, and I’ve tried my hardest to learn from my mistakes, a reason why is because the stories I was reading when I was younger, stories that were my only solace in an abusive home, taught me that a partner (particularly a man) was supposed to save me from my life, and that THAT was what true love was. I’m so glad that I’ve finally taken responsibility for myself and my actions, and I can say both my partner and I are in a much better space, but it took over 5 years to realise this thought process. To think people are reading this without that context, to read this and see Atlas’ backstory and relate to it, and then to see him say that Lily ‘saved’ him, honestly terrifies me. I hope that this video opens people’s eyes to the fact that you are the only one in charge of your life, and you have to be the one to make changes and ‘save’ yourself.
I wanna write romance in the future but when I tell people that they always think I'm talking about this kind of "romance"
Me and a friend to a bookstore today and i was literally crying to her about when is the colleen hoover obsession dying bcs im tired of her books clogging the romance section and even some thriller spots!
Like even if u enjoy her stuff as guilty pleasure, its so annoying to see like 10+ colleen hoover books being promoted in whatever book selling place i go
The drama surrounding the movie is so interesting! The director also plays Ryle. He tries treating the DV theme with respect. Meanwhile Colleen, Blake Lively, and Ryan Reynolds are talking about it like a cute romcom. Madness
i have to say you look absolutely stunning like always, color is your color
Coleen Hoover is a genius... of focus testing. She found a niche in the market and went full throttle into it.
"I dont care about generic baby" is my new favorite quote
As an American, walk in closets are also a mystery to me. Only wealthy people get those, and certainly not in an apartment
My brother apparently makes a decent living for a 25 year old so I'm not saying he isn't wealthy but his apartment does in fact have a walk-in. And that's in Milwaukee so while it's not New York or Chicago it's also not a small city by any means.
@@ImSoTired-ws6ee oh interesting! There aren't any like that in my area, but maybe it depends on where you live
@@MoonBoy317that's prob true as the 1B apartment I had in IN over 20yrs ago had a walk-in closet.
YES BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
30:20 I can't hear any nailing sounds coming through, so while annoying for you, it didn't affect the video too badly. Also your audio is always so good and clear. I'm excited for the new mic but don't worry that your audio was bad before it's been perfectly acceptable for years
Whenever youtubers are complaining about sounds in the background I can never hear them
I need to know how they convinced Blake Lively to be in this movie.
The sad truth that most abusive family situations are written how they are in Colleen books is what prevented me from realizing I was in an emotionally abusive home environment. Id think if I didn’t get a screwdriver thrown at my head I just not have had it that bad, right?
calling it now, Ellen’s gonna cameo in the movie to try to get some good publicity/salvage her reputation before she disappears. everyone forget about the toxic workplace allegations shhhhh
1:23:56, i don't think he has a point. She named her daughter after a thing she liked as a child that she also shared with an ex.
My favorite show is Steven Universe. I've watched it with an ex, I've bonded over it with my husband. We had a steven universe themed wedding. Is it unfair to my husband that a thing i liked before i met my ex and my husband that i shared with both of them would still be important to me by the time i have a big event. In my case a wedding, in lily's case her child?
It would one thing if the baby's middle name was Atlas or something directly related to Atlas but she liked Finding Nemo before Atlas, just because they watched it together doesn't suddenly make the event about him and the baby's middle name isn't about him, its about her comfort movie.
"Is the clever in the room with us right now?" 😂
i haven't finished this video or read this book, but imma go out on a limb and say that ryle doesn't get another girlfriend, just bc colleen hoover's heroines have to be the only love interest. if another woman is introduced, they're either related to the main dude, they have husbands/boyfriends already, or they're a villain. and they all get pregnant.
I had to comment because of your sensory descriptions over baby smells as it really resonated with me.
I don't get sensory issues with smells, but with sounds. The sound of a baby crying - that piercing wailling sound, just slices into my very core. It's awful, which I guess is the intent of the noise - to draw attention to the child, but damn is it ever awful. Painful to me, even.
OMG and you mentioned feeling icky at messy children eating, getting food everywhere! I thought I was the only one grossed out by this.
I have this too! There's a particularly high-pitched wailing sound that makes me leave the room.
I'm kind of okay with milky-smelling babies, tho'; usually it means that if the parent decides to change their nappy around you, the contents are relatively inoffensive, especially compared to after they start being weaned :D
Hey Rachel!! Just got to the part where you mentioned you’re bad w audio- my partner is an audio engineer and I’ve picked up a thing or two over the years!
If you use premiere pro, here are settings I used with a SM7B that worked really well for me! I put them on my audio track for vocals. The order matters, these are in order top down
DeEsser: -30dB threshold
Highpass: 100Hz cutoff
Simple Parametric EQ: 3750Hz Center
Vocal Enhancer: Low Tone
Single Band Compressor: 0dB gain
I think we have a similar voice pitch so these may work for you!
Just to add- this will differ mic to mic and recording environment to recording environment- my office is a smaller room so that could affect things. But, usually fiddling around with settings is how you find the sweet spot haha. Also if you know all of this already I am very sorry, this isn’t meant to be condescending in any way!! I am also autistic and struggle with written tone
I’m having a difficult day but whenever u upload I use that time to care for myself and my home - THANK U FOR THE VIDEO TODAY!!! ❤❤❤ hope u are well and doggo too❤❤
I know this was mostly for the title, but according to Colleen people DID ask for it
In my opinion thats worse, cause that means the readers didn't actually take it seriously. They didn't even want the second book to be a good ending, they JUST wanted to see the same thing happen with the kid because to them, that was the good ending
This was extremely painful how anyone finds these books good baffles me. Also Rachel that top is fabulous where did you get it?!??
For anyone who may not know and be curious, a window screen is kinda like a secondary pane behind the glass that's... sorta set with a firm mesh, i guess? So, if it's warm, you can open the window to let air in without also letting, like, bugs, birds, or other various animals in. There's also screen doors that'll generally be paired with, like, glass deck/patio doors for the same general purpose.
Never really occurred to me that people may not know about them! One of those neat things that it's probably geographical; UK's probably too cold/rainy for them, I suppose?
Also not as many harmful bugs as there are elsewhere!
I don't know how some authors write a lot of fluff. Especially when characters are talking. Like, a character will say something such as, "You look charming." Then you get a paragraph or two of how the protagonist feels before we get their response. For me, it's distracting. I'm also someone who writes straight to the point, so. 😅
You need to watch Alizee’s video on The Spanish Love Deception - that book is 90% flufffffff.
@@RachelOates Oh, I already have. She's how I found you, actually. Love you both! 💜🫂
just some clarity, in a lot of places in the US its not legally statuatory rape as long as the parties within 3 years of each other. so, yes, 15 and 18 (or 17 and 20) is an uncomfortable age gap but the police dont have any reason to care
Then that needed to be made clear, doesn’t it?
@@tananario23 oh I FULLY believe that CoHo doesn't know this and just thinks that 15 and 18 is a-ok
Thank you! This consensual thing can be very misconstrued! Yes it’s a law to protect us from predators but in HS You will meet people 2 yrs older and it was the PARENTS whom decided. Sadly in this day and age of we say anything we have people raging on us saying it’s assault…sure if the man was 18 or 19. Not 17. It’s a law for the reason but not this reason! And then fanatics will go it’s the law!! Omg I am a strong woman and a 17 yr old isn’t grooming me where as the teacher say at 22? Would be that’s what the law is really for not for our classmates I’m so tired of people misconstruing the law to call men rapists! I’m a feminist but see the grey damn areas again our parents had a say also in HS
@@tananario23and here we go attacking people for an old law…it’s great there are laws to protect us from adults! But not our classmates I can also make my own choices at 15 and I’m not being groomed or manipulated by someone 2 years older law yes but common sense also…
@@tananario23kinda hard when it’s literally different all over the US! I’m curious too what it is in Europe ? But 15 and 17 is very realistic and as a young woman I could take care of myself but then someone will come along and say omg that’s the law so it’s rape!! no it’s not!! there’s ambiguity with a kid within 2 yrs older and under 18 🤦♀️
Window screens in the US are mesh screens that go in front of a window so you can open a window and bugs can't get in :>
I came on here to make sure Rachel knows about window screens. Lol. I didn't even know Europeans don't usually have these until I saw a video where a Brit mentioned how great US window screens are. Do they just not have mosquitoes in the UK? I imagine it's to do with not being all that hot there until recently. ...i recall living in North Dakota had many fewer bugs to screen then Texas or warmer places
@@cerin59 As a Brit living in the US, I can agree, they are great. We do get mosquitoes in the UK but no where near the amount in the US. Apparently they're getting more of them now that the temperature has gone up in recent summers. I'm not sure why we don't have window screens though 🤔
Not so fun fact: I recently saw the Swedish translation of "It ends with us" in my local library in Helsingborg, Sweden. 😑😒
The comparison of scenes from CoHo's books vs other works was really well done by you, Rachel. When I listen to CoHo's depictions of abuse, I feel nothing; I can just take it in like a newspaper article. Meanwhile that other scene you read evoked a visceral sensation of fear and dread in me. Thank you for showing the difference, that's very helpful for all writers watching :)
(My wording is not the best right now, I am a little shaken)
The wild part? The director did this whole thing about being a feminist/a “good” man, back when his series (“Jane the Virgin”) was wrapping up. You can look it up. 😂
If it means anything, your sound quality is already pretty good. I couldn't hear any noise from your upstairs neighbors, even after you pointed it out. You're doing great!!!
Re: walking closets. Maybe it's just my russian-american family but we absolutely use it as a combination of clothes closet and storage unit for appliances, unopened pantry items, etc
"...write so much, say so little" reminded me of MLM huns.They manage to say so little while talking so much
I personally love "one true love" idea because thats what i always wanted myself. I always dreamt of meeting a person and being together forever. Im also demisexual and demiromantic which also makes stuff harder. I never wanted to date different people and never felt attraction to someone who i didnt built a relationship with. It might be silly but thats how i feel, i just want to meet someone and be happy together forever. Idea of more of different partners throught the life tbh makes me want to just be single. I dont want different partners i wsnt "the one". I know, sounds silly.
But i like learning about other ppls perspectives!
CoHo: making the straights less okay since 2012
You just know people out there are going to have "it is my wish for you to be my fish" written on their wedding cakes