How to handle breadcrumbing
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ก.ค. 2024
- Here’s everything you need to know about breadcrumbing; from early detection to masterful escape. Eliminate the lure of false hope and meaningless promises by turning the tables on your date.
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Relationship Expert and Bestselling Author (Allowing Magnificence, and Older Women/Younger Men) Susan Winter, writes, speaks and coaches on evolutionary forms of loving partnership and higher thinking. Media credits include: THE OPRAH SHOW, THE TODAY SHOW, GOOD MORNING AMERICA, ABC/CBS/NBC EVENING NEWS, CNN, BBC, COSMO, HARPERS BAZAAR, PEOPLE, FORTUNE, BUSINESS INSIDER, NEW YORK MAGAZINE, THE LONDON TIMES, and THE NEW YORK TIMES. In radio, Susan is a frequent guest on NPR, ABC, BBC, PLAYBOY RADIO (Sirius), and CBS NEWS RADIO. HerPodcast, 'The Susan Winter Show', can be heard on iHeart Radio and iTunes. www.susanwinter.net
Breadcrumbing is simply getting enough of them to survive, but not enough to thrive... If you except breadcrumbs, you will always be starving💯
"accept"
This is soooo true been in love with him for 10yrs and still wont commit but cant seem to pull away from him I get breadcrumbs sending you love and many blessings ❤🤗🌹
The person who is least invested controls the relationship. The trick is to recognize this early on so you don't waste your time.
Exactly!, that's what I've learned.
Well regarding guys, my dad told me .
",less is more with guys" .
We don't have to give a ton of info
In order for it to be quality toward them.
😼
Bam 💥
@@Mushroom321- well I'm a guy and regarding the "less is more" investment theory; nonsense. Games nothing more. Give everything and you just might get everything back.
R G Wow, I never thought of it like this. I’m going to watch out for it, but you’re so right.
@@troycarpenter3675 Bull. Gave everything many times and looking back, the other person doesn't appreciate your efforts.
It became more apparent when his lack of effort was excused by him being tired and working a lot..when he works no more than he used to. I feel better being alone than being with someone who makes me feel alone.
This is a very wise and self loving affirmation. They don't have time to meet. It's OK, you have made a choice to move on, it's wise.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I didn't know it was breadcrumbing because this is how I felt my whole childhood with my parents. They were never available for me, never wanting to spend time with me one-on-one. And I was so used to missing my own mom and dad - so much that it always hurt me. But they told me they loved me. So, I learned that missing someone (so much that it hurts) is what love feels like because I truly loved my parents and thought they truly loved me too. But only in my late 30's I realized that loving my parents actually was a very painful experience. When, already as a teen, I had implied to my mom that I felt like she didn't love me enough and that I felt like I couldn't get any of her attention, she raged at me and screamed wildly, making me feel guilty, spoiled, entitled and crazy. So, I learned that having needs meant I was selfish.
Later when my two boyfriends started breadcrumbing me, I felt it would be selfish of me to complain about that and I just continued to miss them more and more, never bringing up the issue. My first boyfriend eventually ghosted me.
The second boyfriend didn't ghost but discarded me. I was so emotionally devastated. Indeed, my heartbreak was brutally painful. Fortunately, youtube videos, like yours, taught me more about love than my own parents could teach. Thank you so much for your tools. I'm getting better now.
And I still love my parents, but I do so from a distance and never get too close or too attached to them. I won't allow myself anymore to get attached to anyone who isn't available for me, whether it's a friend, family member\blood relative or a partner/boyfriend.
Look up Dylan James’ TH-cam channel and listen to his nightly tapes. It’s made a world of difference in my life over all the therapy I have tried. I experienced similar to you.
Sorry you had to go through that with your parents. I can totally relate, my parents were also emotionally immature and unavailable to me too. So my last relationship brought me so much joy because it was the first time I ever felt such unconditional love from my anyone. My heart definitely ripped into two near the end as he slowly drifted away from me and the talks we had on the phone became less and less. When it ended it hurt even more with him breadcrumbs me and I didn't realize it until I learned about it on the internet too.
It really sucks how our relationships with our parents also affect us in our own personal relationships, but I'm grateful for the internet for helping us with these topics and seeing others also going through similar experiences gives some comfort too.
I hope you're doing well and continuing to thrive 💗
I felt like I was reading my own words in this post..
@@lifeaccordingtosally same here
Your empathy about emotional pain is so appreciated.
My Breadcrumber replied to my snap story and guess what I did?? LEFT HIM ON READ!!!!
G O O HAHAHA...GOOD TO LAUGH THIS WEEK, THANKS! A😎
Another bread crumb:
Me: we should meet up.
Them: sounds good.
And then it never happens lol
Lets not txt back and forth for weeks why not meet up for a coffee? oh yes that sounds great ....... they fall off earth!! 🤣🤣🤣
@@pam164 On a positive note he you did you a favour... life is too short for time wasters like that. You deserve better. :)
Thats why u shouldn’t suggest to meet - thats their job
I'm glad you're advertising - you deserve and earned it. You are elegant, intelligent and a class act.
thank you Diana. I waited a long time as I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. But when I calculated what I'm leaving on the table with 400K views a month.... I pulled the trigger.
Great reply, this lady is the tops.
I’m finally aware and onto Bread Crumbing . It’s just enough to keep you hanging in . A relationship that is going somewhere has a natural pattern of moving forward with consistent actions . If it doesn’t move forward or stops and starts then time to cut ties . Agree they think you are on their back burner . They will gladly lead you on .
And they will lead you on with breadcrumbing as long as you allow it.
Yes ma’am!
Just thank you Susan. Listening to you helps me go to sleep a little easier at night knowing that I am good enough and that rejection is..... just another disliked word.
Another good breadcrumbing to keep you is,”I honestly care about you” then you don’t hear from them for a month
I've been through 3 years of breadcrumbing to the point of severe physical illness from the stress and can say the guy who said "Its not about you -Its them" is completely right. There is always an issue with a breadcrumber being it depression or whatever but there is a reason theyre doing this and it's with them. I am not saying this to make those who have been treated this way feel better but this is experience and turning the issue inside out over 3 years. The problem is with them, they have something big in their life thats wrong and thats why they cant invest in a relationship. So when someone does this my advice is to end the contact and do NOT under any circumstance look back.
I hope you are feeling better. I too got deathly ill being and tolerating abuse in a relationship and it’s taken me the better part of 3 1/2 years to regain about 60% of my health. I learned a very hard lesson to never allow someone to treat me poorly ever again. I almost died.
@@madeinhisimage3447 Ooooh my poor friend! Same here! Im still recouperating and its been 2 years, they say it takes 3 years to recover after an episode. He's still in my life, confusing me as hell and now my hearts so trashed, I cant get out of it. I had my chance yesterday when we talked but started bawling. He's told me time and time again he's just using me for cuddles and that Im to iritating to have a relationship with so I told him "Then you have no right to my body anymore" and rejected him physically when he tried to seduce me. Then he switched to "Listen to my actions and not my words, I wouldnt come here like this if I didnt like you" I've told all my friends and now even they're confused aswell. But they all beg me to leave once and for all.
@@madeinhisimage3447 ohhhh so sorry. Me too and it hurts so so badly. Bless you we will heal 🙏
Ladies, I've been blessed with great healthy long term relationships. When a man adores you authentically, he will bookup your calendar months in advance. Become healthy friends first... men who want to use you can't sustain a real non sexual friendship.
“Good Morning Gorgeous, how was your night/weekend”. When I would respond with thoughtful replies with some detail he would ask no further questions/ show no interest in conversation. It was annoying as hell.
I noticed a guy at my gym keep making eye contact with me. Naturally, I would look back. I wasn't sure why he kept initiating eye contact. I felt that I should just go over and introduce myself. Did that. Learned his name and felt a connection. He waved at me from across the gym more than once. More brief conversations led me to believe he was attracted to me and wanted to keep getting to know me. I began to get excited and feel it was the start of a new relationship. Began to develop feelings for him. I made steps to actually go on a date with him. He said it would be a couple of weeks. I asked about his weekend and he mentioned spending time with his daughter and his wife's family. I decided to friend zone him just as a protective measure for me.
Guy is a loser, so immature. I think I would switch gyms.
Hi fromTasmania, Australia. Breadcrumbing is the worst! So emotionally draining 😔
Rather than blaming another for our experiences, we must accept our inability to move out of a dilapidated relationship which is failing to provide support. If we are accepting this behavior it means we are short changing our emotions. Let's take the challenge to move forward with a new focus and attract the right relationship. Spoilt milk is never useful for preparing porridge & Rotten people can't participate in fulfilling relationships.
I'm afraid that a lot of people are afraid to face the fact that the breadcrumber is just playing games. They themselves so want to believe the excuses, delays, etc because they want to feel the other is truly interested and has plans with them someday. It is quite adult and grown up to read between the lines and lies and deceit and move on with your disappointed heart and soul. I have found that many young victims cannot be shown the truth and will defend these stupid games and selfish behaviors. It's a shame but I guess it takes what it takes to mature and get gut level honest. A twice divorcee and 52 year old female like myself ain't got no time for no foolishness! Lol
Thank you and keep up your awesome guidance and support.
I think you hit it perfect. You want someone who wants what you want and they want to go with you💯
I have spent the whole day watching your videos and I could cry from gratitude. Thank you sooo much for making these videos. I feel exponentially better right now at 9:40pm than i felt when I woke up at 8am . Thank you. I feel my healing happening from the inside out. Thank you! 🤗
She helped me too was so down too, but felt better as i was binge watching susan... angel on earth.
Thank you, Susan! I like this format--your educating us, then answering questions. Your honesty and wisdom are such a gift...very much appreciated!
Thank You Susan for this thorough examination of Bread crumbing. Just recently went through this, and didn't know that there was a "profile" on this type of behaviour. Thanks to you, I can clearly see that my " being around", close to her orbit as you put it, fulfilled all of her needs that she had from me. I, of course, wanted more. Already knew enough these past few months to stay completely away, and that having created hat space, along with my continually trying to figure out this whacky world of interpersonal relationships, and along with truly helpful people like you, will end up being my salvation in the gut~churning endeavour. Thank you again!
Steven, Charlotte, NC
Susan you are helping so many people around the world with your wisdom, empathy and kindness. You are brilliant because you've experienced pain first hand, have sought the counselling, done the work and research to be able to deliver your guidance and support to help us all get a better understanding of how to communicate and understand our wants and needs. I am only just awakening to what I want and what I will accept from others. I am becoming more empowered and speak up more. We as people appear to all need some sort of guidance as we are all complex creatures due to our life experiences, and you are just the right fit to teach this stuff. Love what you're doing and appreciate your work and empathetic nature. 💕🤗👍xx
Susan, you're so kind and wise. I love everything you said and stand for.
If a guy starts reducing or giving his attention to me, and no good reason for it, giving bits & pieces or just calling you up when he is lonely or his friends ditched him so he now thinks about you. They say "it be nice to see you today" and I say "maybe next time" over & over.
Stringing you along! I see that now with a man he is out.
Susan, thank you so much for your program! I just discovered it today and you are so real! I love the way you state you have the same issues as everyone else. It makes you more relatable.
And your logic and the way you express your thoughts are amazing!
I LITERALLY BROKE DOWN HEARING THIS IYS IS SO TRUE....IM DEVESTATED BUT I THANK GOD I FOUND YOUR CHANNEL PLEASE PRAY FOR MY HEALING..
I was literally in tears when you said the right person will say, tell me more. Thanks for your videos
Susan, We love your authenticity and generosity! We love you. ❤️😘
Yeah..it's called GAME....I burst out laughing...😂😂😂...brilliant Susan ❤
Susan...superb content. Intelligent, wise and in high contrast with so many relationship 'experts.' Some in this life are doing precisely what they were designed to do. You are are clearly numbered among them. You are deeply appreciated. May your life be richly rewarded for the truth and wisdom you sow.
I so appreciate you and your generosity, Susan. Thank you, thank you, thank you. These videos really help in these hard and confusing times. Makes isolation seem less strenuous.
You are welcome!!
Thank you Susan, thank you for helping us in our confused state and sharing us the tools and analysis we need. I love your passionate vibe and tone when you make videos. We, as the viewers, can feel your authentic self and it's easy to understand the information you share.
That is so sweet of you to write. Thank you so much Charle.
I wish I learned this at the beggining of dating again. I am emotionally exausted and it has been really hard to get over a person I liked. He is really emotionally unstable and just needed attantion and my admiration.
Hello Susan! I’m from Perth Western Australia. I love watching your videos full of wisdom and passion about relationships. I have grown so much just by listening to you. Thank you so much! 🙏🏼💗🌻🦋
Irena, you're amazing! Thank you for your support.
I can't believe I've never come across your page. I absolutely love your advice. Much love from Memphis, TN.
Thank you so much for the information!!!! I just ended a bread crumbing experience that lasted over two months. I’m disappointed but this video is helping me understand the necessity of moving forward. New Sub!!!!!
Hi Susan sending Love from Philippines! 🇵🇭
I love seeing how happy you are having interaction thru super chat your reaction is purely genuine happiness 🤗 keep inspiring us! 😊
I'm from Cape Town, South Africa. I enjoy listening to you.
Thank you so much Susan. Your words have a huge impact and know that you change worlds
Man, this is dead on, Susan; you nailed it.
thank you!
Dear Susan -you have helped me so much in different areas of relationships and self value. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ,insight and advice! p.s. I'm from New Jersey
You are too sweet, Cristina! Thank you for your support.
Just want to say that I'm grateful that I found your channel. You're GODsend...🙏🏻
You're a true angel Susan. Thank you. From Paris with love💜
Love your videos Susan! You always have the best advice!
Hi Susan, I watch all of your videos, and I must say this one is exceptional from beginning to end. Thank you, as always for sharing your advice!
You're so awesome! Thank you, Mike!
I have been mentally and verbally abused very recently by a horrible man who was deeply wounded as a child, physically abused and neglected and did jail time. He wielded it over me with power, making me feel stupid for wanting a deeper relationship with him. He only meets at night, only wants sex and then he'd reveal his deepest darkest secrets to me and then push me away and cycle back and forth telling me he wants me then treating me like shit. i walked. Never going back. i have cried bitter tears over him. He will never get to do that to me again. I fell in love with him and i know my brain and heart will heal with time. None of my friends understand how i feel. it is isolating and lonely but it is what it is. i am an adult and i must pick up the pieces and move on. he (symbolically)threw scraps at me on the floor like a homeless dog begging for food. It is still playing with my psyche.
Susan always nails it, another fantastic live!
Thanks Thais
You have such a big heart, Susan. I love your videos.
Sending you electronic hugs!
I REALLY NEEDED THIS SUSAN THANK YOU SOOO MUCH 😢😢☹💜❤💜💐💐💐❤💜❤💐💐💖💖
Thank you! This Is essential stuff Susan..wish I knew this a decade ago. Seriously, most folks are messed up.
Hello dear Susan! Thank you for your video's full of wisdom and kindness. I love these series about bad bahaviour. I try to watch it live everytime. This time I missed your live video by an hour, so sad. Keep doing this. Love it! Judith from The Netherlands
thanks Judith
Hi Susan! Thank you so much for such great and supportive information. I appreciate you, your knowledge, experience and perspective. I'm from the PNW, in Washington State. 💙🌲🌲🌲💚
Thank you!
Love you Susan. Your advices are very helpful.
You're wonderful, Susan. Happy to see you get rewarded :)
This is happening be to me right now thank you Susan this is what I needed to hear.
This couldn't have come at a better time. I've been talking to a guy for the last month and he has started doing this this week! He went from texting/calling me often to just a quick "How's your day?" now. So irritating! The good news: I know to move right on!
D D Good for you!
@Sapphire Sky Yes, I'm on Match now and it seems to be a "thing". They chat you up and are so excited initially, only to breadcrumb you later.
@@dinadavies6153 men are hurt and the sad thing is, they have no real interest in healing. So they look for 'the blood of young virgins' to drain, metaphorically speaking.
That is actually right.
Thanks for the tips on bread crumbing
Everything make sense
Absolutely ..predialogue ..Terms and Conditions -Yes!! same situation for me At 60+ i have very little time not to be specific regarding what I am looking for in a potential partner! Love your work /information/guidance -Thank You so so very much Blessings Keep safe,
You're so calming!!😌❤
What a lovely compliment! Thank you, dear Courtney.
I played myself - I shadow boxed with my animus for years, and years... with the same man. It was always emotional. Waiting and waiting... because he always came to me to prove our connection. Now, up to this very moment - Covid has exacerbated the need for physical touch, you know, warmth from and with a good friend.
But it’s always just enough. I feel it. He never comes fully through. The bottom line is I have to accept responsibility for my choices that built this deserted Castle. I wake up daily by degrees - to my own strength, or lack of it...
Thanks SUSAN! You are such a GEM
Awww... love the love Trannyglitter
Perfect timing Susan , with a guy who calls me his partner and girlfriend yet haven’t had a phone call in two weeks just the usual miss you so much texts and plan to see you as soon as possible .I’ve sat back and observed but have made the decision to cut him funny thing is there’s nothing to cut 😆 he’s a very busy with huge responsibility in his work which I’m understanding of but no one is too busy to have a phone call . It’s so confusing I’m done
Branford CT. He denied his other relationship. I was breadcrumbed after love bombing. I handled it!
I wanted him to know I knew, so I sent him an email with just subject line filled in. “I DESERVE SO MUCH MORE, STICK WITH YOUR CLEANING LADY” then I blocked him on my phone. I’m so done! Thank you. Stay safe. 🌹
Sapphire Sky Thanks. That’s not how I roll. She’s been with his sorry narcissistic ass a long time. I’m sure she knows. ( I don’t think she IS the Cleaning Lady, that’s how he referred to her.) I’m sure he’ll show up one of these days. I’m ready to tell him where to go!
I love your channel and advice Susan👏❤️❤️
Susan you are an amazing woman! I was settled for breadcrumb for over10 years. Your video helped me so much. I hope to arrange a private session with you, my story is so different and I need your insight. Hope to talk to you soon.
Susan how do I get in contact with you? Michelle - Australia
And you need to advertise! You’re worth it!
Just found this. I really enjoyed it! Loved the interaction and questions. Also loved the dialogue expressed for us! Really, really loved!
Wh'atsapp him for heIp
I got "I'll be in touch" this week! LOL I was able to chuckle to myself b/c I had already watched this video once...
I'm from England And just want to say in this lockdown you are helping soooo much as I'm going through a really hard time 😢😢😢 With someone I'm in love with but he just wants fwb now in lockdown he is been really cool pulling away keep telling him I love him 😢😢😢 xxx
great call Susan. Thanks xxx
I want to thank you Susan. I finally expressed my feelings for a woman who was breadcrumbing me from last 6 months. I recently came to know about it. Asked her not to talk to me as we are not on the same page....
Loving all your advice very helpful, empowering and a lot of ahuh moments 💕👌 thanks for all of your vids everytime i fail on my dating life im always counting on these💯👍
Susan how did you know I needed this video right now? Love you!!
Toronto, Canada
Oh i love this!! So happy to read your note
Great conversation thank you for honesty
I am a very direct person. I asked for a video call to discuss this revolving door he thinks is on my life. So I texted the break up bc he left me no other choice because I want to move on. I told him if he couldn't call not to call me at all.
I've just found you. Thank you. Ps; ''They give you just enough air to breath, not enough Oxygen to survive!'' So, True. Besides, they suffocate you at times!
Hello from Texas!... new to the channel thank you for all ur time~n~energy!..:)
Love this.. Hello from Malaysia ❤️
Hi Susan from Brisbane Australia 🥰. Sorry I cannot be in live chat but always love watching the replay. Dont change a thing..your videos are so helpful and you deliver advice in such a beautiful way. Maybe instead of only reading questions from live chat you could have a list of questions from viewers that you collected prior..and when oh when are you coming to Australia to do some live get togethers????? Wouldn't that be super!!! Thanks for all you do xo
Hi Annette. I love AUS! Been there several times. As for q&a: the only way to get the questions in advance has been the Community page
Wow, thank you, Susan. Me and my ex are separated for a 6 months now and I was all in this "no contact to get them back" videos. Couple of days ago I found your channel and now I understand much more. They were "grey rocking", "breadcrumbing" me for the whole year of our relationship. F**k them 👌🏻
Hi Susan. I’m from Scotland. Luv the advice & Guidance.
Thank you Scotland!
Total presence… I love that!
You're so sweet and intelligent Susan. I love your videos!
Susan- Enjoyed the video! Thank You
Thank you, Cynthia!
Hello Susan Im From Nova Scotia, 🇨🇦
This is gold
Susan, love you and your videos! Bread crumbers: Off with their heads!🤣
Awesome video as always:-D
Susan, your colors are GREAT! Lips nails blouse!
Susan I am from South Carolina. Just subscribed and I love your videos!
"We should meet SOON" always soon ha
Yes be direct and call them out asap! I sent my ex a long text on Christmas day for breadcrumbing for two years, while he is engaged and after cheating on me. I felt good by doing that and I wish I've done it sooner. I haven't heard back from him since then and gosh, I'm so happy!
learn detachment 🙃 then breadcrumbing is powerless to impact you .... but if you genuinely love someone don't bother about yourself ...... love is only and all about giving ..... Sans calculating 🙃 losses and / or gains ..... love is love is all
Protect yourself regardless of how you love. Know your boundaries and live by them. Walk your talk. Or some ‘loving’ person will come along - and drain the very sun from your name.
I thought so too. Love is all about giving giving giving and not caring to receive anything back. Well, I was giving and giving and then, I somehow ended up feeling like a doormat. Honestly, it is impossible to genuinely care about someone and totally be detached. If you truly loved someone and deeply cared about someone and was completely detached at the same time, you'd never miss them and you would not care if they suddenly disappear from your life, or worse, die in a car crash - you would not even have to grieve their death because you were never deeply attached to them in the first place. I don't think it's possible or realistic to deeply care about someone and not be attached to them in way at all. Attachment is natural and there must a healthy level of attachment, and it should be mutual, I think.
Yes I have just gone NC with a breadcrumber. I think I will say "this isn't working for me" when he next gets in touch!
Hello Susan!! New York here!! ♥️🍎♥️
Hi , I am in NJ, and I definitely have been given the breadcrumbing treatment.
Hi from West Palm Beach FL...Love your program ..✌😊
we all looking for the love we never got enough of from our childhood - if we learn to love accept and honour ourselves we got more chance to find love !
Susan when are you writing a book about all this? I really enjoy your videos and you are such a positive influence in the lives of all the lonely hearts of this world. Take care!
You're too sweet!