One of my takeaways surrounding the word omission as the failure to do what is right. Knowing that when a person is eager to make repair to a relationship they will voluntarily seek out and correct the wrong. The absence of that (leaving things where they left them) is a clear sign that they are really comfortable in their lie or that self preservation is a higher priority than the repair of the relationship, or both. The absence of humility, or godly sorrow, and a desire to make things right is very clarifying.
I definitely lie when I'm in fear of the other person and their reaction the truth will create. Because I'm in a marriage with a narcissist and I know he never forgive and always go to maximum punishment even for the smallest and most innocent issue, I feel that because of my survival emotionally, mentally and physically I need to lie even though I don't want to. I even will omit things about myself so that he won't have a "stick to hit" me with...this is terrible but what else should I do?
When you are dealing with a manipulative, destructive and abusive relationship, what it comes down to is, can I trust them with the truth. Omitting or sometimes "fluffing" truth becomes a survival thing, for sure! Sadly, normal relationship rhetoric doesn't so neatly fit in these situations.😢
Rather than bald faced lying, omitting, and gaslighting, I believe the categories of overt lying, distortion (twisting the words or actions of others negatively), and white washing (sanitizing my own track record) are perhaps more incisive. We could throw in misconception and delusion as well. “Omitting“ is a tricky one, because we need to be discerning about how much we say to others about a particular situation, and just because someone believes they have a right to know all the details, does not necessarily mean it is the right thing to share all the details. The bigger issue is does that person have a legitimate right to know, and yet we are keeping the truth from them. Interestingly enough in the Scriptures there are about 365 commands and warnings about truthfulness, falsehoods, deception, and promise breaking - enough for one each day of the year. That serves as a reminder of how important truthfulness is in godly character.
I really enjoyed this. It brings out for me the deceptive nature of myself and how by not facing it causes more of my own stress and anxiety. The truth shall really set you free!
I ran into someone a few days ago, I hadn't seen in awhile. I've been through a lot of stress ( my husbands unfaithfulness) because of the trauma, my health has declined and I have dark circles, lost 50 pounds etc. and she ask "how is your health"? "Good" I said. I just didn't have it in me to go into it, plus who in the world says that to someone that they are not close to? Anyway, Lord forgive me, I hate that. I like to be 100% honest.
That's completely understandable why you wouldn't want to reveal that kind of pain to someone you are not comfortable with. These situations can be so tricky to navigate. Maybe these statements can be helpful: "I'm experiencing an increase of stress", "I'm currently experiencing some health challenges", or "my health has taken a toll due to increased stress-- I'm unable to get into it or share but thanks for asking" (if they are praying persons, ask them to pray for you) That way you are being emotionally honest while keeping privacy.
What do you do with omissions from before a new relationship started? Do they need to know things that will have no impact on them or our relationship?
What is the likelihood of someone changing after 18 years of marriage and actually stopping telling lies about the opposite sex phone calls/seeing them in secret?
😔 so very sorry you are experiencing the same. I have also been married for nearly 18 years and this has been a continual thing. You are likely dealing with a sociopathic narcissist, like me.
@user-friendly36 I just got out of 30 years of marriage to a narcissist. I am so broken down from the physical and emotional abuse I barely survived. I'm not lying!! Find a way OUT! You will heal with God's help. Have you read Lysa's book Good Boundaries and Goodbyes? If not please read it. She will help you escape this relationship. Please don't wait until your emotionally hurting so deeply and barely able to go on with your life. Leave Him!! You are Strong and you can do it! You are a Child of God and your body is a Temple of God. God doesn't want you to suffer. If your husband doesn't treat you like Christ loved the Church then he doesn't deserve you! Run! And don't look back. This is becoming an epidemic problem in Our society. 💛🙏
@@mamad21706 Why are you staying? It's not what God wants for you. If you're not being loved and respected by your husband as Christ loved the Church is how a husband is supposed to treat his wife and kids. Don't wait until you are destroyed emotionally and physically and barely alive to leave. I didn't know what a narcissist was until about a year ago. I wasted 30 years of My life being married to a narcissist who literally almost killed Me. Not lying. Please get help from a professional or just get out and Run! I lost the best years of My life for what? To end up Alone and so broken inside I don't know if I will ever heal. Please leave him!! You owe it to yourself and your family if you're staying due to them. If so, this is damaging your kids too. I'm so sorry your hurting and going through this difficult situation. Talk to your Pastor if you can trust him/her. I did and got the support I needed to leave after 30 years. God Bless you and be with you 🙏 ❤️
One of my takeaways surrounding the word omission as the failure to do what is right. Knowing that when a person is eager to make repair to a relationship they will voluntarily seek out and correct the wrong. The absence of that (leaving things where they left them) is a clear sign that they are really comfortable in their lie or that self preservation is a higher priority than the repair of the relationship, or both. The absence of humility, or godly sorrow, and a desire to make things right is very clarifying.
Very good. I know I lie when it appears it’ll save the other person’s feelings or help me avoid confrontation. But I don’t want to help the enemy!!!
I laughed so hard when Jim Cress got the game wrong. Poor, innocent Jim. 🙌🙌🙌 👀 😂
I definitely lie when I'm in fear of the other person and their reaction the truth will create. Because I'm in a marriage with a narcissist and I know he never forgive and always go to maximum punishment even for the smallest and most innocent issue, I feel that because of my survival emotionally, mentally and physically I need to lie even though I don't want to. I even will omit things about myself so that he won't have a "stick to hit" me with...this is terrible but what else should I do?
Divorce?
When you are dealing with a manipulative, destructive and abusive relationship, what it comes down to is, can I trust them with the truth. Omitting or sometimes "fluffing" truth becomes a survival thing, for sure! Sadly, normal relationship rhetoric doesn't so neatly fit in these situations.😢
I did the same and therapists have told me that in those situations it's a survival mechanism
Rather than bald faced lying, omitting, and gaslighting, I believe the categories of overt lying, distortion (twisting the words or actions of others negatively), and white washing (sanitizing my own track record) are perhaps more incisive. We could throw in misconception and delusion as well.
“Omitting“ is a tricky one, because we need to be discerning about how much we say to others about a particular situation, and just because someone believes they have a right to know all the details, does not necessarily mean it is the right thing to share all the details. The bigger issue is does that person have a legitimate right to know, and yet we are keeping the truth from them.
Interestingly enough in the Scriptures there are about 365 commands and warnings about truthfulness, falsehoods, deception, and promise breaking - enough for one each day of the year. That serves as a reminder of how important truthfulness is in godly character.
I really enjoyed this. It brings out for me the deceptive nature of myself and how by not facing it causes more of my own stress and anxiety. The truth shall really set you free!
I ran into someone a few days ago, I hadn't seen in awhile. I've been through a lot of stress ( my husbands unfaithfulness) because of the trauma, my health has declined and I have dark circles, lost 50 pounds etc. and she ask "how is your health"? "Good" I said. I just didn't have it in me to go into it, plus who in the world says that to someone that they are not close to? Anyway, Lord forgive me, I hate that. I like to be 100% honest.
That's completely understandable why you wouldn't want to reveal that kind of pain to someone you are not comfortable with. These situations can be so tricky to navigate. Maybe these statements can be helpful: "I'm experiencing an increase of stress", "I'm currently experiencing some health challenges", or "my health has taken a toll due to increased stress-- I'm unable to get into it or share but thanks for asking" (if they are praying persons, ask them to pray for you)
That way you are being emotionally honest while keeping privacy.
@@lamenina24Excellent advice! 🙌🙏💛
I’d really like to learn more about Jim’s mention of repairing rips in relationships using F.A.N.O.R.O.S.S.S.
I told one lie whispered to me byvthe enemy and it has cost me everything. The consequences are unimaginable.
So sorry to hear that. I totally get it. I have seen God use these kind of things for good. Hang in there. He's got you.
@@loripirollo7177 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
What do you do with omissions from before a new relationship started? Do they need to know things that will have no impact on them or our relationship?
Love this‼️Thank you all ❤️🙏
Thanks for watching!
Of course I have lied about my weight !!!
omg funny but true. 😂
What is the likelihood of someone changing after 18 years of marriage and actually stopping telling lies about the opposite sex phone calls/seeing them in secret?
😔 so very sorry you are experiencing the same. I have also been married for nearly 18 years and this has been a continual thing. You are likely dealing with a sociopathic narcissist, like me.
Praying for you. It's a hard thing. Thank you
@user-friendly36 praying for you too! It is a very hard thing that not many get or can help with.
@user-friendly36
I just got out of 30 years of marriage to a narcissist. I am so broken down from the physical and emotional abuse I barely survived. I'm not lying!! Find a way OUT! You will heal with God's help.
Have you read Lysa's book Good Boundaries and Goodbyes? If not please read it. She will help you escape this relationship. Please don't wait until your emotionally hurting so deeply and barely able to go on with your life. Leave Him!! You are Strong and you can do it!
You are a Child of God and your body is a Temple of God. God doesn't want you to suffer. If your husband doesn't treat you like Christ loved the Church then he doesn't deserve you! Run! And don't look back.
This is becoming an epidemic problem in Our society.
💛🙏
@@mamad21706
Why are you staying? It's not what God wants for you. If you're not being loved and respected by your husband as Christ loved the Church is how a husband is supposed to treat his wife and kids. Don't wait until you are destroyed emotionally and physically and barely alive to leave. I didn't know what a narcissist was until about a year ago. I wasted 30 years of My life being married to a narcissist who literally almost killed Me. Not lying. Please get help from a professional or just get out and Run! I lost the best years of My life for what? To end up Alone and so broken inside I don't know if I will ever heal. Please leave him!! You owe it to yourself and your family if you're staying due to them. If so, this is damaging your kids too.
I'm so sorry your hurting and going through this difficult situation.
Talk to your Pastor if you can trust him/her. I did and got the support I needed to leave after 30 years.
God Bless you and be with you 🙏 ❤️
This is excellent!
We're glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for your work! You are the best!!❤❤
Thanks for watching!
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