They can make you miss so many big opportunities in life because of their own paranoia. If you tell them your dreams, they'll flat out tell you you'll never attain them! Smh
Sorry about all the troubles you went through when you were a kid. But none the less you grown up to be a good and well rounded man. You took your past trials and used your exsperience to help people who are hurting. You've become a blessing to many. Your a success, and never forget it!!!!
I can relate. My dad was also a selfish beta. I remember when I was a kid, some other kid was bullying me in elementary school. I told my dad, and I told him I wanted to beat that kid's butt and my dad's first words were "you better not do anything, I don't wanna get sued by that kid's parents". There was no "oh my god, are you ok?" or anything sense of concern AT ALL. I still think about that, and that was like 23 years ago and I still get angry about it. Really showed me exactly how little my dad thought of me... But, guess what? My dad's still a dead-end janitor in his 60s.
@@TruthTiger Yeah man, I'm in my 30s and I feel like I'm where I should've been in my early 20s. Having a father like that set me back by about 10 years in life. But no big deal, it is what it is. Just gotta keep moving forwards and shake that stuff off.
My father was afraid like that, but he's dealt with many insecurities, overt or not. There were times he'd act so headstrong and controlling, and yet other times be fearful and spread his fears----irrational or not---onto others in the family. It was a little a subtle ghost/horror film that was dragged out . .. and you didn't know how to solve the problem(s). He was also saying when I was younger I would go to jail if I fought someone, no matter what the situation/circumstances. Even self-defense. Plus he often wanted to be to still be a "nice little boy" even though I grew to be 6'3"---and I've become a gym rat and get into both traditional and mixed martial arts, which I still do the latter. It's little wonder I became what I became. While I don't blame him wholesale for everything, there was some resentment at him for not being my own person in general when I was younger. And I'm not the only one.
Spot on. My dad is like this. I only got to know him once I turned 19 and I thought he was at least on my side. Turns out he was destroying my reputation to the rest of my relatives in order to scapegoat me away from his own drinking. They thought the bottles were mine and stuff like that. They speak Spanish but I don't and he was using that to his advantage. I never thought he was like that so I was none the wiser. The final blowup was when I hung out with some friends drinking, I came home and he started pressing me, got my aunt and uncle to come over and they were already against me (they see their kids doing better than me as a competition.) So I had no one on my side. I left right away to go to my mom's that I hadn't seen for 6 years. The weird thing is God has them as such similar people but my eyes are now open that her behaviors aren't malicious or purposeful, she just accidentally does stuff that seeems narcissistic, she just truly loves herself and is eccentric. She still loves my sister and I, she is also a truly selfless person. My dad on the other hand is the dark narcissistic version of everything she is, and I'm the same as her so I projected that onto him thinking "we're related so it makes sense". Meanwhile he was this totally different person. When I realized "covert narcissist" immediately entered my mind and I didn't even know what that was, I only ever considered it was some kind of lowkey narcissist.
My dad used to punch me in the head and throw me against the wall stomp on me from the age of 5 to thesge of 13 when i started fighting back i would watch my mom throw kitchen knives at him and he would chase her down and beat her against a wall. If i ever got bullied at school he would take me after school to find the kids that bullied me and said if you dont destroy them in a fight i will destroy you when we get home. I had my head slammed against a glass table once and had my forehead gashed open pouring warm blood all over my face and table. He also would threaten to murder us if we ever told the cops.
@@TruthTiger appreciate it bro but not looking for any sympathy it was back in the 90s long time ago just know im right there with you when it comes to messed up dads
Don't apologize for getting personal. These kinds of personal stories are what help me the most, because I can relate to so much. You're so strong to be able to have dealt with that and still make videos talking about it. I can tell that you've come so far.
Can I add something? It breaks my heart to hear of your parenting Sigh. As you already know I have 4 kids thru 26 to 32... my husband and I cherished raising our kids... despite our failures for we came out of horrible homes. Your dad was likely raised by bad parents.. your parents are my age. Im so sorry you father was so horrible! I was raised by an alcoholic undiagnosed bi polar mom and my dad died infront of me at 3 yrs old of pancreatic cancer... and cirrhois of liver.. ( he was a tobacco famer) . My mom died when I was your age ..32. One thing my hubby and I tried so HARD to do was be better than our parents. My husband was adopted by crazy yet rich physically abusive adopted parents. In hindsight... i see all the flaws of my parents and their generation. it breaks my soul that you went thru this cuz Paul and I really did try ... I did my kids first resumes! My hubby taught our kids to rides their bikes...he taught the kids all we could.. so did I! We tried so hard... we made alot of mistakes cuz our parents fucked us big time and we are gen Xers... the one good thing I personally had was my grandparents who were solid wise ppl who came thru the depression and ww2 .. my grandma was a young teen in Ireland and survived the Spanish flu. We were a generation ... like YOUR parents.. who werent parented at all.. the post ww2 kids just left their kids ( gen X.. me and your parents ) to fend for themselves! Society changed.. women had to leave the home go to work ... I want you to know that what me and hubby did is we wanted to be parents we didnt have and that is what you all youngins need to do. Dont plop your children in front of a screen all day.. spend the time you would have liked your dad to! ( he didnt even teach you to ride a bike.. so YOU teach yours!! BREAK THE CYCLE . ) I knew I had to with my kids.. and yes Im no perfect parent.. but our kids are raised with morals and values.. and we always apologized to our kids when we fucked up. Most parents never did that nor do that. I really sincerely hope you will forgive your parents for their shitty parenting.... they came from a generation of us... but its not an excuse.. its just we were left to our OWN. The best thing I ever did was forgive my mother.. for the horrific mental abuse she put me thru til I was 16 and then thru me on the streets at 16 in 1986 ( Remember the TOUGH LOVE of the 80s.. yeah that shit)... she came to me at 30 and apologized sincerely for all her fuck ups ( she had been very abused sexually and more.. which i hadnt known.. which led to her drinking in my youth etc) . At that point I had 3 kids and knew my own fuck ups in life and my own personal struggles and forgave her. Hey We are told to Honor your father and mother and ALL will be well with you and you will a live a long blessed life. ( It doesnt say if they were perfect.. cuz who the fuck can even in this crazy world... but I took that as a cue where I could let her go of the guilt she carried and be free for she didnt understand either.. and I could start a new family tradition. ) My husband wasnt able to forgive his adopted parents ( nor could he find his birth) but he chose to forgive his adopteds for all the physical and emotional abuse.. like my god they kicked him and his yr old 16 yr old adopted sis out when he was 15 and never talked to them since.. cuz they found out they could actually have kids of their own. ) He decided to forgive and move on and be the father he always wished he had.. there is POWER In forgiveness. NOT for the offender.. but for US. It sets US free...so that pain cant keep draggin us down... but we can strive to create a better family tree. I hope this helps you or others. WE all are imperfect but we are the change.. if we want and let the pain n past go once for all. Grace and Peace to you!!
you're a great soul beloved. my mom abandoned me at 17 because my step dad had a cactus up the butt about me smoking weed.. we never really talked again, i cant talk to her now because she knows she is wrong but still amazingly gas lights me about absolutely everything negative that happened. im never right about anything imagine that haah. she is also a witch same with my sister into the occult for over a decade. moved in with my dad and i never had to live close to an alcoholic overt narcissist. i never saw it only coming over twice a month but once i lived there i saw that demon in excess. my grandma was a bat shit crazy catholic type who would beat her kids so they all didnt like her. whatever reason i was her golden goose and the only one in the fam to go over. but you are so right it starts with their crappy parents. my dad watched me self destruct for years and never once asked to go do anything to get me out of the house. despite being agorophobic he would just come home from work and go "Did you look for a job, i know you didnt i dont even know why i asked" haha. nobody cared about me after 17 aside from my long term gf and a handful of buds for life. i know i need to forgive them. it feels like forgiveness can only be granted by God in his divine timing. trust me i tried to over ride the emotions and pretend i forgave them but to be real i couldnt. its not in my strength!! much love and God bless
I worked in a Jewish ladies house she made some Jew 🍲 soup. She played cards and went to mind over matter meetings. She and her husband were doctors. Her husband self deleted his brains out. ...My boss was a Russian Jew..Zoli ..had a knife scar down his eye/face. We worked for a lot of wealthy Jews.
alot of jewish people come into the place i work at and its a widely known fact that they're some of the most rude inconsiderate person especially to someone wearing a Jesus saves hat haha! Obviously not all but you see the fruit of denying NT and their foretold messiah king Jesus.. they are cursed. my best friend was jewish and his parents funneled him into the mental health hospitals at 16 for being mad that they moved to a new town. he's been on every med in the book since then, plenty of times got locked in the mental ward. i was his best bud and i know for a fact he wasnt mentally ill, just dealing with stress of going to a new school for the first time in your life. Now he is completely dead inside i dont even recognize him. his family is wealthy beyond comprehension and all of them are living like a chicken with their head cut off no joy in life. gotta say though, jewish women in their 20's are a weakness for me haha
i feel for you brother. just know this is all part of the perfect plan Jesus has for us all. you are way more deadly having experienced this the way you did. people get persuaded by narcs all the time especially if they come from a functional home. you can smell that stank from jupiter. shall the clay say to the potter Why have you made me thus?? God is totally sovereign whether we like that or not. brothers like you are helping others to come to this realization and thats a blessing beyond measure. it might not feel that way for you, just know everything happens for a reason
I disowned my alcoholic "father" when I was a four-year-old. I was smarter, wiser, more intuitive, empathic, mature and brave than ALL the "adults" around me by at least 8 years old. Yet their age gave them artificial control over me. They were all ignorant and still people expect that children aren't capable of maturity.
They can make you miss so many big opportunities in life because of their own paranoia. If you tell them your dreams, they'll flat out tell you you'll never attain them! Smh
100%, you gotta keep that stuff to yourself when you're around narcs
Sorry about all the troubles you went through when you were a kid. But none the less you grown up to be a good and well rounded man. You took your past trials and used your exsperience to help people who are hurting. You've become a blessing to many. Your a success, and never forget it!!!!
Thanks Tommy, that means a lot to me. It really does. Everything is through God
Why do they do the backhanded stuff 😂😂 it’s hilariously pathetic
It's so stupid, it's pretty jealousy
I can relate. My dad was also a selfish beta. I remember when I was a kid, some other kid was bullying me in elementary school. I told my dad, and I told him I wanted to beat that kid's butt and my dad's first words were "you better not do anything, I don't wanna get sued by that kid's parents". There was no "oh my god, are you ok?" or anything sense of concern AT ALL. I still think about that, and that was like 23 years ago and I still get angry about it. Really showed me exactly how little my dad thought of me... But, guess what? My dad's still a dead-end janitor in his 60s.
Yep, they didn't care about us at all and they did nothing to give us the confidence we needed
@@TruthTiger Yeah man, I'm in my 30s and I feel like I'm where I should've been in my early 20s. Having a father like that set me back by about 10 years in life. But no big deal, it is what it is. Just gotta keep moving forwards and shake that stuff off.
My father was afraid like that, but he's dealt with many insecurities, overt or not. There were times he'd act so headstrong and controlling, and yet other times be fearful and spread his fears----irrational or not---onto others in the family. It was a little a subtle ghost/horror film that was dragged out . .. and you didn't know how to solve the problem(s). He was also saying when I was younger I would go to jail if I fought someone, no matter what the situation/circumstances. Even self-defense. Plus he often wanted to be to still be a "nice little boy" even though I grew to be 6'3"---and I've become a gym rat and get into both traditional and mixed martial arts, which I still do the latter. It's little wonder I became what I became. While I don't blame him wholesale for everything, there was some resentment at him for not being my own person in general when I was younger. And I'm not the only one.
Spot on. My dad is like this. I only got to know him once I turned 19 and I thought he was at least on my side. Turns out he was destroying my reputation to the rest of my relatives in order to scapegoat me away from his own drinking. They thought the bottles were mine and stuff like that. They speak Spanish but I don't and he was using that to his advantage. I never thought he was like that so I was none the wiser. The final blowup was when I hung out with some friends drinking, I came home and he started pressing me, got my aunt and uncle to come over and they were already against me (they see their kids doing better than me as a competition.) So I had no one on my side. I left right away to go to my mom's that I hadn't seen for 6 years.
The weird thing is God has them as such similar people but my eyes are now open that her behaviors aren't malicious or purposeful, she just accidentally does stuff that seeems narcissistic, she just truly loves herself and is eccentric. She still loves my sister and I, she is also a truly selfless person.
My dad on the other hand is the dark narcissistic version of everything she is, and I'm the same as her so I projected that onto him thinking "we're related so it makes sense". Meanwhile he was this totally different person. When I realized "covert narcissist" immediately entered my mind and I didn't even know what that was, I only ever considered it was some kind of lowkey narcissist.
The Covert narcs are some of the worst, they act like nice, harmless, safe people, but really it's a campaign of sabotage against you
Exactly my Dad. Covert narcissisist and super manipulative. Recovery from his abuse is hard, but possible with God's help.
My dad used to punch me in the head and throw me against the wall stomp on me from the age of 5 to thesge of 13 when i started fighting back i would watch my mom throw kitchen knives at him and he would chase her down and beat her against a wall. If i ever got bullied at school he would take me after school to find the kids that bullied me and said if you dont destroy them in a fight i will destroy you when we get home. I had my head slammed against a glass table once and had my forehead gashed open pouring warm blood all over my face and table. He also would threaten to murder us if we ever told the cops.
Dang bro, I'm sorry to hear that, my prayers are with you ❤
@@TruthTiger appreciate it bro but not looking for any sympathy it was back in the 90s long time ago just know im right there with you when it comes to messed up dads
Excellent Messages and Confirmations☝️
I've seen alot of this S...
Passive aggressive is the Weakest and it seem to be a competitive sport in society.
truth. yep the long suffering mother act
Yep, except it was dad doing it, oh brother lol
Don't apologize for getting personal. These kinds of personal stories are what help me the most, because I can relate to so much. You're so strong to be able to have dealt with that and still make videos talking about it. I can tell that you've come so far.
Thank you so much ❤ I'm glad to have your support
Sorry you had to go through that bro I know the struggle
yep, our families fcked us up
Thank you for sharing this video, the same thing happened to me son and me. Thank you so much ❤.
You're welcome ❤
I had a similar experience. The only good thing is that it shaped me into being the opposite of my dad, its still very painful though
It's tough man, I'm in the same boat I don't want to end up like him
True.
Can I add something? It breaks my heart to hear of your parenting Sigh. As you already know I have 4 kids thru 26 to 32... my husband and I cherished raising our kids... despite our failures for we came out of horrible homes. Your dad was likely raised by bad parents.. your parents are my age. Im so sorry you father was so horrible! I was raised by an alcoholic undiagnosed bi polar mom and my dad died infront of me at 3 yrs old of pancreatic cancer... and cirrhois of liver.. ( he was a tobacco famer) . My mom died when I was your age ..32. One thing my hubby and I tried so HARD to do was be better than our parents. My husband was adopted by crazy yet rich physically abusive adopted parents.
In hindsight... i see all the flaws of my parents and their generation. it breaks my soul that you went thru this cuz Paul and I really did try ... I did my kids first resumes! My hubby taught our kids to rides their bikes...he taught the kids all we could.. so did I! We tried so hard... we made alot of mistakes cuz our parents fucked us big time and we are gen Xers... the one good thing I personally had was my grandparents who were solid wise ppl who came thru the depression and ww2 .. my grandma was a young teen in Ireland and survived the Spanish flu. We were a generation ... like YOUR parents.. who werent parented at all.. the post ww2 kids just left their kids ( gen X.. me and your parents ) to fend for themselves! Society changed.. women had to leave the home go to work ...
I want you to know that what me and hubby did is we wanted to be parents we didnt have and that is what you all youngins need to do. Dont plop your children in front of a screen all day.. spend the time you would have liked your dad to! ( he didnt even teach you to ride a bike.. so YOU teach yours!! BREAK THE CYCLE . ) I knew I had to with my kids.. and yes Im no perfect parent.. but our kids are raised with morals and values.. and we always apologized to our kids when we fucked up. Most parents never did that nor do that. I really sincerely hope you will forgive your parents for their shitty parenting.... they came from a generation of us... but its not an excuse.. its just we were left to our OWN. The best thing I ever did was forgive my mother.. for the horrific mental abuse she put me thru til I was 16 and then thru me on the streets at 16 in 1986 ( Remember the TOUGH LOVE of the 80s.. yeah that shit)... she came to me at 30 and apologized sincerely for all her fuck ups ( she had been very abused sexually and more.. which i hadnt known.. which led to her drinking in my youth etc) . At that point I had 3 kids and knew my own fuck ups in life and my own personal struggles and forgave her. Hey We are told to Honor your father and mother and ALL will be well with you and you will a live a long blessed life. ( It doesnt say if they were perfect.. cuz who the fuck can even in this crazy world... but I took that as a cue where I could let her go of the guilt she carried and be free for she didnt understand either.. and I could start a new family tradition. ) My husband wasnt able to forgive his adopted parents ( nor could he find his birth) but he chose to forgive his adopteds for all the physical and emotional abuse.. like my god they kicked him and his yr old 16 yr old adopted sis out when he was 15 and never talked to them since.. cuz they found out they could actually have kids of their own. ) He decided to forgive and move on and be the father he always wished he had.. there is POWER In forgiveness. NOT for the offender.. but for US. It sets US free...so that pain cant keep draggin us down... but we can strive to create a better family tree. I hope this helps you or others. WE all are imperfect but we are the change.. if we want and let the pain n past go once for all. Grace and Peace to you!!
you're a great soul beloved. my mom abandoned me at 17 because my step dad had a cactus up the butt about me smoking weed.. we never really talked again, i cant talk to her now because she knows she is wrong but still amazingly gas lights me about absolutely everything negative that happened. im never right about anything imagine that haah. she is also a witch same with my sister into the occult for over a decade. moved in with my dad and i never had to live close to an alcoholic overt narcissist. i never saw it only coming over twice a month but once i lived there i saw that demon in excess. my grandma was a bat shit crazy catholic type who would beat her kids so they all didnt like her. whatever reason i was her golden goose and the only one in the fam to go over. but you are so right it starts with their crappy parents. my dad watched me self destruct for years and never once asked to go do anything to get me out of the house. despite being agorophobic he would just come home from work and go "Did you look for a job, i know you didnt i dont even know why i asked" haha. nobody cared about me after 17 aside from my long term gf and a handful of buds for life. i know i need to forgive them. it feels like forgiveness can only be granted by God in his divine timing. trust me i tried to over ride the emotions and pretend i forgave them but to be real i couldnt. its not in my strength!!
much love and God bless
We've all been through a lot, forgiveness is important, it's a tough process
I worked in a Jewish ladies house she made some Jew 🍲 soup. She played cards and went to mind over matter meetings. She and her husband were doctors. Her husband self deleted his brains out. ...My boss was a Russian Jew..Zoli ..had a knife scar down his eye/face. We worked for a lot of wealthy Jews.
alot of jewish people come into the place i work at and its a widely known fact that they're some of the most rude inconsiderate person especially to someone wearing a Jesus saves hat haha! Obviously not all but you see the fruit of denying NT and their foretold messiah king Jesus.. they are cursed. my best friend was jewish and his parents funneled him into the mental health hospitals at 16 for being mad that they moved to a new town. he's been on every med in the book since then, plenty of times got locked in the mental ward. i was his best bud and i know for a fact he wasnt mentally ill, just dealing with stress of going to a new school for the first time in your life. Now he is completely dead inside i dont even recognize him. his family is wealthy beyond comprehension and all of them are living like a chicken with their head cut off no joy in life. gotta say though, jewish women in their 20's are a weakness for me haha
growing up that way was not good for me, it was bad for my self-esteem and so many entitled, manipulative people. It really screwed with me
@@TruthTiger the real world
@@TruthTiger good will hunting .
Meatballmagoo --- I like your handle name! It sounds very New York City to me.
That's the worse part maybe, the cherry on top.. When everybody around you praises the sob
i feel for you brother. just know this is all part of the perfect plan Jesus has for us all. you are way more deadly having experienced this the way you did. people get persuaded by narcs all the time especially if they come from a functional home. you can smell that stank from jupiter. shall the clay say to the potter Why have you made me thus?? God is totally sovereign whether we like that or not. brothers like you are helping others to come to this realization and thats a blessing beyond measure. it might not feel that way for you, just know everything happens for a reason
Thank you bro, God has plan for us all 🙏
Another reason why antinatalism exists.
🧢🧢
I disowned my alcoholic "father" when I was a four-year-old. I was smarter, wiser, more intuitive, empathic, mature and brave than ALL the "adults" around me by at least 8 years old. Yet their age gave them artificial control over me. They were all ignorant and still people expect that children aren't capable of maturity.
understand you, we were raised by very immature adults
Keep doing your thing, I been listening to a lot of your videos while I do my household chores.
U get the message out so people can relate
❤
I completely understand Tiger…💯🫡
thanks bro