I am a daughter of my mom (came to Vancouver to study alone @16) and a mom of my daughter (she’s 19). I can relate to both you & your mom completely. 如果Elis 媽咪有睇comments, my suggestion is 就算仔女喺自己身邊，一樣可以有危險，一樣有人生問題要面對，你想佢成日窩心同你FaceTime, 同你分享日常，還是同你住埋同一間屋而乜都唔同你講。我好明白呢份擔心係關心，但係做父母都係想仔女開心，如果佢哋大個要面對問題，as long as they know you will always be there for them, grow with them, 大家一齊成長啦！睇得出Elis 係一個醒目女，如果喺外國生活係佢想嘅，俾佢做佢想做嘅，be supportive 。 Elis, 媽咪係關心你同愛你先會nag 你 (我自己都試過俾奪命追魂call俾我個女），如果你媽咪嘅性格係噤，你都改變唔到，我好明白嗰句，第時到你做媽咪你就知😂😂。大家都試吓喺對方嘅角度諗吓啦。All the best to you and your family ❤
Parents will always be parents regardless how old you are. I was in the exact same situation when I was in my 20s and now that I’m almost 40, everything remains the same even though I’m married. At this age I still hear the most ridiculous comments and it’s definitely stressful. 99% of the time it’s “叫你做少少嘢都唔做”. I guess the only good thing is I don’t live with them anymore, so less arguments. I hope after they watch this video, it doesnt make them annoy you even more :)
你係我嘅嚴重版啦哈哈哈。我媽媽都管得嚴不過而家我都係加拿大佢都冇乜得點理我㗎啦。以前去過英國生活六個月佢都唔可以成日搵到我咁跟住佢慣咗囉知道我唔會有咩事就自然都冇成日搵我間中我哋都仲會視像。佢都係同我分享正面嘅事情雖然佢個人好鍾意擔心緊張。佢又係會send新聞俾我哈哈好懷疑係同一種人格因為我係study mbti ! 情緒勒索其實都好常見係屋企人之間嘅奉旨態度呢就係應該聽我講聽我抱怨諸如此類 我都同媽咪一齊住嘅時候成日有磨擦。但係講得多佢真係有改善。你要繼續加油同佢抗議。佢係好唔接受㗎當初。例如會講乜嘢我有虐待你咩。咁當然唔係咁解但係佢嘅方法我唔係好受用。咁後來佢都會明你唔係針對佢。同埋鼓勵佢搵返自己嘅重心。搵自己嘅興趣諸如此類啦。 My mom is istj 佢就係屋企嘅主管照顧巨細無遺。你參考吓可能你媽媽都係哈哈。根據mbti, 最弱功能為 ne , 能夠看到無限可能性（九萬幾種可能性）但係因為inferior position , 造成鍾意擔心嘅性格 所以我都係鍾意痴住我爸爸多啲佢比較同我係朋友關係
Newsflash - like you commented about that you are not alone in this dept. Your mom, I am just speculating here but true in most cases, most likely has no hobbies, interests with her own life outside of her own immediate family. Thus, she spends the majority of her time daily expanding her energy, untamed brain power on silly stuff that she can't control over. The most accessible items will be focusing on her one and only daughter who is now living in Canada. Don't ever expect you can change others. This applies to your parents as well. You are a grown woman now. You have your own life to live. So don't worry about what your mom thinks, says to you or what she worries about you daily. All you can do is do the best you know how. You can't control what others think. Just do what you think is best for yourself. You can try to help your parents to see it from your perspective. That's all. At the end of the day, every decision should be done to minimize risks, not totally eliminate risks. That's not how the world works. Good luck to your new life in Canada. You will learn. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and wiser as a person who is battle tested. Anyway, you come across as a bit over dramatic in the few videos of yours I watched. Maybe that's a youth thingy. Remember, do what you think is best for yourself. Just be prepared for the consequences of your decisions. That's it. Who cares what your parents worry about as long as you love them and respect them right? They are NOT U. The STRONG PLOWS THROUGH OBSTACLES with Faith In God of Abraham. The WEAK LOVES NON-STOP HANDHOLDING, EMOTIONAL PAMPERING and ASTROLOGY.
I think you must have someone you wants to take care of. If one day, after you have taken care of he; she; it for over a decade and tell you get a message that he; she ; it has to leave you, how’s your feeling? Try to get the feeling imagining stepping into their shoes to feel it. Human being is not alone but have to taken care of others who not even you know him or her. Hope one day when you really grow up and have your family and child, you will know and fully understood why your mum is like that nowadays. Voicing out your feeling is good as can take a rest but don’t just complain or grumbling. Figuring out a solution to live together in a mutual trust situations is the point.
I am here just to share my feelings. I am not trying to get away from the problem. What I do is trying to let her understand the situation and we talked it through after. Luckily, she understood all and admit that she was over reacted in most of the time and she promised to change. We are all good now
明白你既感受，過份既擔心同關心會形成壓力，始終你父母得你一個佢地留係香港擔心係正常，仲要你出佐國更嚴重，傳統父母既諗法就係成日覺得你出佐國會出事佢地就吾知點算，你唔係佢控制嘅範圍就好不安～做佐父母就會明白，俾d時間大家
要改變父母的想法很難，所以請好好過好生活，顧好自己，保持距離才有美感。
你識得理性分享，証明你已經長大。努力吧！
我們都是這樣長大的！支持妳！
家庭對一個人的成長影響很深🙁
父母擔心子女是正常的
但是過度擔心真的會讓子女很大壓力
好欣賞你能夠勇敢說出來💛💛
女兒唔喺身邊後，媽媽情感上應該出現個好大嘅缺口，而令情緒唔太穩定，希望用盡所有說話可以回到過去，女兒時刻在身邊嘅時候。但每個人都有自己嘅思想，亦要尊重女兒真心想做嘅事。希望Elis媽媽可以勇敢面對，或者搵個新寄託令情緒唔再咁繃緊，放開心情對自己同Elis都好❣
看見你這個片我就想起自己，我的是媽媽不願意聽我的心事總覺得全都是我的錯，話沒說完就說是我的錯了，所以那個時候的我幾年來都不怎麼聯繫家人也沒有朋友好可以聊心事，短短幾年而已突然爆發了，爆發後真的真的很痛苦，感覺自己不是自己那樣，從那個時候開始就看一些正能量的書才開始慢慢的放的下，看的開，原來自己爆發也是自己拿來的，自己會爆發不是別人造成的而是自己造成的，真的很希望你可以對自己放鬆點不要給自己壓力不要逃避看信息那些，很不希望你會爆發像我這樣，人生沒多少個十年，到時候你要人擔心你都沒有這個機會了，我現在想回家都回不到😢有時候不是家人不好而是年代不一樣所以想法不一樣而已，真心祝福你天天開開心心的❤
經歷中。已經幾年。故事背景唔一樣。但係一樣都會成日打電話嚟提着同一件事。不停放負。情緒勒索。再加道德綁架。問你死未😂😂原來我唔係孤單的一個。你都唔會係孤單的一個❤️
鼓勵媽咪擴闊生活圈子，學新事物、識新朋友，做以前冇時間做的事，焦點轉移😂
正正是我跟她說的，她的世界不應只有我….
@@elislamm 我得女兒一個.亦係我的心頭肉
@@elislamm 同你呀媽ㄧ樣呀
無用 佢性格係咁就咁 如果可以擴闊生活圈子佢後生時就已經做到了
完全同我一樣，講中哂我心聲😭
一直成長都好大壓力，有困住左做唔到自己想做既事既感覺
同父母好有隔膜
睇呢條片先知咁多人既家庭都係一樣
呢個世界你係改變唔到任何人的,可以改變既係得你自己,其實佢地又唔係何嘗想改變你,如果你係想改變你父母既諗法,你同佢地係理論上係無分別,所以你係要佢地明白你已經大個女,其實佢地係改變唔到你,你要佢地明白呢一點,換個角度相處希望會有改善.
不知怎的，聽到你講，覺得你同班朋友好幸福，擁有很多，就在默默流淚⋯⋯
媽媽重心全副精神係你到
更係擔心啦
又係獨女
正常既
試下不妨用返傳統既方式回覆佢，例如親手寫一封信或者明信片寄俾媽媽(?)對方收到個種感覺會更真實同深刻♥
獨自一個係新地方適應絕對唔係易事，仲要兼顧家人既情緒
希望你地關係會有好既轉機🥰加油💪
I am a daughter of my mom (came to Vancouver to study alone @16) and a mom of my daughter (she’s 19). I can relate to both you & your mom completely. 如果Elis 媽咪有睇comments, my suggestion is 就算仔女喺自己身邊，一樣可以有危險，一樣有人生問題要面對，你想佢成日窩心同你FaceTime, 同你分享日常，還是同你住埋同一間屋而乜都唔同你講。我好明白呢份擔心係關心，但係做父母都係想仔女開心，如果佢哋大個要面對問題，as long as they know you will always be there for them, grow with them, 大家一齊成長啦！睇得出Elis 係一個醒目女，如果喺外國生活係佢想嘅，俾佢做佢想做嘅，be supportive 。 Elis, 媽咪係關心你同愛你先會nag 你 (我自己都試過俾奪命追魂call俾我個女），如果你媽咪嘅性格係噤，你都改變唔到，我好明白嗰句，第時到你做媽咪你就知😂😂。大家都試吓喺對方嘅角度諗吓啦。All the best to you and your family ❤
我以為呢個世界得我係禁，終於搵到同路人❤❤加油❤
呢到有好多個同路人🤧
@@elislamm 心裡面個種無奈父母未必明白…☹️某程度上因為距地嘅過份保護，我嘅成長放棄左…錯過左…應該要去經歷嘅野🥲而呢d經歷過左就追唔番…
我好明白你嘅感受。我媽媽都係一個乜都擔心嘅人，每次講野都好負面。佢散播嘅負能量令我唔想聽佢講野，同佢溝通會令我個人好負，好大壓力。而且佢乜都管住曬，唔肯放手。我想搬出去住，佢就情緒勒索我。我發現少d留係屋企對住阿媽，我情緒會好d。但好可悲，為左逃避阿媽要出多d街
我完全明你感受，sis,我同你一模一樣
聽完你咁講你真係好叻女
Elis請你要分享你嘅感受比大家知 大家係你嘅聆聽者 可以忽略嘅就忽略 你要好好加油過自己想過嘅生活 加油🫶🏻
我都係獨生女，好明白你嘅感受，當年我大學唔喺香港讀書，出發去讀書嘅第一日呀媽打左六次電話俾我😂 。
直到我而家29歲，就算夜返，我呀媽都會同你類似嘅情況，會等門（前提我十一點左右就會同佢哋講我係邊😂）。
相信你係獨生女，媽媽嘅生活咁多年都係圍繞住你，你去移民對佢嚟講係一個好大嘅轉變，佢嘅重心一下子冇左，就只好不斷去send 信息俾你抒發情緒。你成長嘅過程遠遠超於佢嘅想像，佢需要較長嘅時間去接受，唔洗tune 佢嘅expectations。佢要send 就由佢，俾啲時間大家❤
🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
是因為彼此關心和在乎, 我女兒比你少好幾年, 17歲出外讀書沒有親人我很憂心但我仍然支持她還親身送她到國外, 我有時睡到半夜便醒來擔心她一個女孩的安全, 莫說7條錄音, 10多條我都傳過, 但她很多時不太理會很多時只回覆我一兩個字, 所以你已經唔錯, 會在乎媽媽寫什麼, 你錄這條片相信你媽媽會明白, 亦會邊看邊流淚, 她會明白過於關懷會變成珈鎖, 塔羅牌不能幫你, 你和媽媽都需要基督教信仰, 嘗試在溫哥華搵教會,同牧者傾談, 很欣賞你的獨立和勇敢出國嘗試, 其實你有朋友在加拿大及你定時拍TH-cam已經非常好, 加油! 以下給ELIS 媽媽:{你不用擔心, 你漂亮的女兒很有分處, 隨著時間你會慢慢習慣孩子離開自己身邊, 你的心情作為大部份母親完全理解, 你可以返教會, 多祈禱在遠方祝福她, 亦可以閒時親身飛過去看看她的生活狀況, 孩子有勇氣出外闖你耍給予鼓勵, 若干年後她會感恩你的放手讓她放眼世界, 活出不一樣的人生
解鈴還須繫鈴人，你可以從你媽媽入手，想下點樣可以開導區，多溝通關於你的想法和你以後的打算。講多啲正面的points。其實你來尼度係為你以後將來的打算，同區講思考問題要從長遠出發，人無遠慮，必有近憂。咁樣可能會令到佢放心一點點。同埋要俾多d時間區去適應。相信區一定會想通的。
加油 一個人係異地 自己要適應 面對 好多野， 坐個巴士都會坐錯，好多時令人好沮喪， 你咁講出黎其實已經係理解屋企人 但真係無辦法自己又會好抆 但又改變唔到 變成愈來愈怕 又想逃避 但距又會更加追趕你 沒完沒了
無野可以做 做自己想做既野 繼續生活 嘗試過濾或者無視距 ，係唔岩時間/心情 都唔好睇 等舒服d先睇同回應
同時 如果可以 咪上網買小禮物，湯包呀之類，送比屋企人 比距地feel到你存在感 可能有幫助 為距為自己個心都舒服少少
抱歉，真心覺得：
妳媽咪可能需要看精神身心科，
這樣下去，
不只她痛苦😣
妳會更痛苦😖
心理諮商或藥物控制
或許能讓她情緒好轉或穩定下來；
不管是因為更年期，
抑或是憂鬱症，
都需要讓彼此得到喘息的空間。
PS:妳真的很堅強，也很無奈，我聽了，滿滿的心疼；非常能同理妳的感受，也祝福妳。
我都系移民後同屋企人積落黎既問題就爆 所以好明白個種無力感 加油啊 適當抒發負面情緒唔系壞事！
其實係要心平氣靜同你媽咪好好地解開個心結.....
同埋係一早要好好解決，唔好等到個雪球越嚟越大要爆先嚟解決.....
佢係情感勒索，其實可能要睇一睇心理醫生......
可能由第三者去幫手.....
明白你心很累，壓力很大，不斷被抑壓的感覺！我曾經都經歷過！
雖然會被別人說自己不孝，但其實到某個情況下，你唯一可以做的真的只有~冷處理~
我曾經都試過唔聽電話不看，我只會回一個~我現在很好~因為她每日都這樣，根本沒有辦法，唯有冷處理！
你每一次嘅回應，就是她所需要的反應，當佢發現得唔到佢想要的回應，她可能會有點發瘋的騷擾你！
但真的，挨過三個月就好一點！
我幾個月後，我媽發神經次數比較變得少｡
其實你去加拿大是對的選擇！一來自己可以獨立生活自我成長，另一方面真的可以脫離她！
你終有一日都會結婚生子，如果你繼續留在香港，連下一代都會繼續被控制！
🙄🙄🙄🙄長輩很喜歡所謂照顧孫兒，控制一切！
其實當父母年老，生病的時候及離開後。你會好懷念他們的長氣他們的囉嗦長氣
你媽媽唔應該以愛之名綁架你，特別是你已經做到好足，有乖乖報備。老一輩經常話後生一代唔捱得，但到有機會外闖時，又唔願意放手，或者諸多批評。
唔係一句「為你好」就可以操控別人嘅人生…
落地已經有朋友大屋可以暫住，一大班人等住幫你，萬千寵愛在一身。你阿媽唔係擔心你，只係想用愛綁住你唔好離開自己身邊去滿足自己
我同你嘅處境一樣,完全明白你嘅感受！都試過用寫信形式講出心底話, 亦試過一齊坐低講出自己嘅感受。講完之後有段時間係關係好番啲，都少咗壓迫嘅感覺, 然後又故態復萌。
仲會不時用情感勒索呢一招。心很累🫠結婚後另一半都試過幫我出聲(都係過多一排又失效)。
父母始終都係唔明白，總係覺得用佢哋認為啱嘅方法去對你,就代表你應該感恩地接納。你唔聽或你同佢哋講出自己嘅見解就覺得你受到其他人嘅影響,會覺得個女都咁大個人仲處於反叛期😅更癲嘅係覺得你好無情or絕情.😪😪😪
好奇當初你決定去加拿大OWP,你父母嘅反應係點？
(我仲未諗到要點講我同另一半下年會離開, 好難想像佢哋知道後嘅情緒&反應.。試過同父母暗示過,然後時不時遭到單打,畀說話我哋聽. )
Anyway~ 一齊加油💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻😌
我明😮💨 I know how it feels…..最大個問題就係佢地以為咁係對你最好/咁樣係擔心你嘅表現，佢地習慣只係用佢哋角度去諗，從來都無上次企喺我哋角度出發🥲 大家個距離就越嚟越遠!!
同佢哋講去加拿大個時，都係啲負面說話，唔想我去，都係例牌嘢~
我都係😭😭😭
關心說成給予壓力，現代孩子祗會覺長輩給她關心換成壓力！從沒倒轉來想，沒有父母從少的關心與愛心，她們怎樣成長，試問有沒有從父母角度去想呢！日後自己成父母，就能感受！！！😭😭😭😭😭😭
睇完你的心底話，我都要提醒自己，對自己小朋友要多點信心，多點信任
我和你父母是同一階段的人 担心原因可能是父母接触层面比較少 亦可能受身邊其他人的影响 當然一剎那要父母改變不容易 但作為你可以主動一些 主動將你在加拿大人和事告訴父母知 假若往後你發展不錯 我亦相信你這批年青人來到這裏一定可以創出一片天 用實際行動証明給父母知 你是得 父母憂慮不要成為自己的絆腳石 父母不能陪伴你一世 漫長的路還是靠自己 盡自己能力做好 讓父母早日惜懷便是 不要顧慮太多 加油
我屋企人都係咁，所有野都係唸左負面，最差個面先，傾親計永遠都係會話我呢樣吾好個樣吾好，所以自自然然都吾鐘意同佢哋傾計，就尼30歲去男朋友屋企都吾鐘意，心唸好多同年甚至比我細既人結埋婚生埋仔tim，真係吾知要管到幾多歲🥲由細到大都咩點鼓勵同讚過我，正正因為係呢個原生家庭長大，由細到大都係接收負能量多，搞到自己個人都係偏向負面同無咩自信，大個左之後都用左一段時間去改變自己個人先正面返少少，佢哋做左幾廿年人用左呢套思想幾廿年真係好難變，我好明白要成日接收負能量係好心累，唯有自己搵多啲做多啲會令到自己開心既事去平衡返❤️
好有同感😮💨我真的明白!!
好明白你嘅感受，你講嘅每一句說話我都有講過，肯放手嘅父母同唔肯放手嘅父母真係好大分別，每次出夜街10點就開始奪命追魂call，講緊我一年都喺出5次夜街左右，唔明點解身邊所有人嘅父母都冇咁樣做，我就只能不斷出去聽電話，不過喺我身上呢個問題喺我中學時期已經好嚴重，我喺中學時期已經爆得好緊要，去到year1嘅時候我地冷戰左成年，用一年時間俾佢意識到佢冇可能再控制到我，之後先慢慢改善到呢個問題
同你好似🤧🤧🤧
吸引力法則。凡事都向最壞方面諗，往往就會得到最唔想要嘅結果。人有負面情緒同憂慮係人之常情，但如果採用過度同繁複嘅錯誤方式去表達關心/擔心就會弄巧反拙。
仔女隨著面對人生唔同嘅經歷慢慢地成長，但係父母都要成長。關係係雙向嘅，亦離不開溝通。換個表達方式，多d用正面思維去表達彼此嘅關懷同愛可能效果會事半功倍呢。
當刻女兒還肯容忍您嘅破壞性行為，同內心華人固有儒家孝道思想掙扎緊。但係孝順唔係必然嘅。請您透過呢段影片好好聆聽佢嘅心聲。當你肯稍為放低父母嘅身段，拉近大家嘅身份打開心窗，隔膜就會迎刃而解。
衷心希望你哋有一日會感受到真正親情嘅愛所帶來嘅幸福同快樂。🙏🏻
-過來人
要父母改變很難。改變自己也不容易，所以怎能期望父母幾十年的習慣一時一刻改變到。「路不轉 人轉」所以只好你自己好好消化過濾 💪💪💪💪💪
完全明白你感受， 雖然本身我自己原生家庭就係好開放願意接受新事物形式， 但自從我男朋友佢屋企媽媽就係咁 情緒勒索 ，完全明白 ， 呢個位 唔係媽寶 ，而係一句你父母就好似大哂咁 我 好明白 分別係邊 ，因為我由天跌落個地到
越大壓力，就越想離開，更加唔想返去
因為愛所以先想佢哋理解同支持
雖然唔係過來人，但完全感受到你所講嘅無奈同”有型壓力”想講嘅係你真係好堅強 因為如果係我嘅話相信應該一早爆咗煲😌加油！有朝一日你哋一定可以和解的！仲有有一本書正正叫情緒勒索你可以睇吓作者係周慕姿 書裏面都有好多情緒勒索嘅真實例子不論係職場上、親子、伴侶都有,書裏面仲有講情緒勒索嘅成因、同擺脫情緒勒索嘅方法本書介紹得幾詳盡的！希望對你有幫助🫂
父母心好難改變 你講出尼等我地同你分擔下都係好事 畢竟我地都支持你鼓勵你 我地好多人都移民知道唔容易同經歷左好多困難 我覺得你join溫哥華街坊會真係好好 我都係上個月先知有依個會 希望下次撞到你同你打個招呼
加油加油💪🏻💪🏻🌈
感恩😢
完全明白，但對方係我奶奶，比起係我父母，我個位置更尷尬。。。😅
佢雖然真係好錫我，會將佢認為最好既野俾我，但就經常情緒勒索我老公同我，講黎講去都係嗰幾句。但佢知我係有脾氣，同埋始終唔係佢個女，所以佢唔敢對我太過份，但錄音嗰度勁有同感🙈段段都一分鐘，我有時全部都唔聽，有時我都會唔聽佢電話。我老公就唔洗講，佢地見三次就會有一次嘈交🙈 夾喺中間既係我😂
你媽媽係唔係家庭主婦同好少朋友？
因為我奶奶就係咁，香港無朋友、無親人，性格仲好孤僻，除左佢視為「親人」既人之外，全部都係外人，一有咩事就認定全世界都蝦佢一個。佢個世界只有老公同仔女，佢既付岀人地必定要接受，否則就係無良心，然後就係喊同發脾氣😅唔係無試過用唔同方法溝通，但對方只係一味指摘自己。但我認為的確係改變唔到，尤其係對方唔知道自己個問題，把口話明，下次都會一樣的。佢話知自己好負面，但控制唔到😅我諗上一代好多都見識比較少，如果係家庭主婦社會歷練更少。佢地個年代談何夢想。夢想都係生活安定，身體健康，有飽飯食，家人齊整，其他既野對佢地黎講係難以理解既概念。有時佢唔係唔願意理解，而係佢地其實一直用另一個價值觀生活，代代相傳，理解唔到我地係正常。所以有時候我會諗，忍到就盡量忍，到忍唔到就要嚴正啲講一句stop，然後大家過下冷河就算。
見到有啲留言話唔應該過份抱怨，有人關心已經好幸福，呢啲道理個個都識講
其實只係針唔拮到肉唔知痛，而且每個人對同一件既感受都唔同，忍受能力都唔一樣，人同人之間最重要係尊重+同理心，唔會有一方係絕對啱同錯
講得很好🤧 你都辛苦了~對象是奶奶，這一個角色更加尷尬…. 很認同每個人接受能力都不一樣，如果你的好意，別人不接受，就要選擇另一個方式去表達
總有辦法既, 不要太唔開心, 加油!
非常之明白你既感受，雖然我未到移民既階段，但我係晚晚夜返屋企佢就會打黎，本身都好反叛繼續做我想做既事，但佢就可能開始習慣，但有時都會講下，我以前真係會上心好嬲，但可能我大過啲睇開左，決定我開心就好了，所以會聽左就算，意見接受態度照舊😂😂可能有人覺得有啲不孝，但我就覺得講過傾過都冇共識，而件事令到自己咁煩心，不如睇開啲，自己有衡量過件事afford到既咁就去做啦！👊🏻💪
其實我之前都有聽過類似既事，有過來人話你係屋企人面前表現到自己夠成熟處理就可以。不過我覺得就不大作用，而且好難做到屋企人心目中既成熟，或者可能你可以試吓聽到佢第一句錄音/feel到要講呢類topic就唔好再聽或者轉移話題/冷淡/唔理扮唔知/deadair等等，咁對自己都冇咁大負擔，而佢亦都可能意識到再講都冇用🤔🤔加油！
多謝你!! 你做到睇下啲好勁🤧 我覺得我再選擇唔同佢傾清楚，我怕呢段關係只會越嚟越差，因為我不斷成長，佢不斷留喺原地，個距離越嚟越遠，所以我先會選擇表達出嚟，希望佢明白
我完全理解，我媽媽以前連番工都唔想俾我番，希望我24小時都響屋企，佢需要我既時候我隨時都可以出現響佢身邊。只要我唔順佢意，佢就會情感勒索我。最後唯有番加拿大先有機會展開自己既人生，擁有自己既事業同物業。
傳統思想又為人母親，係無甘快諗通同真接受事實改變，唯有你堅持同好好照顧自己，時間耐左應該無依家甘執著！
可能我媽年紀開始大，佢好情緒化...好多時岩聽米聽，吾岩聽就即時轉話題或收線下次再講，強行自己聽佢重覆負面野，對大家都負能量又傷感情💬
支持你Elis ❤️
我覺得好多父母經常站在道德高地去指責自己嘅小朋友 一句概括就係 行父母安排嘅路佢地就會收聲
父母過度擔心真的會讓子女很大壓力😢
人既性格係好難改變，仲要係關於最緊張最重視既仔女就難上難！
其實雙方都有情感勒索問題，父母和你都想對方改變，送你二字（羈絆）,希望能夠幫到你
分享下我處理情緒勒索嘅唯一方法- 「set your boundary」
Parents will always be parents regardless how old you are. I was in the exact same situation when I was in my 20s and now that I’m almost 40, everything remains the same even though I’m married. At this age I still hear the most ridiculous comments and it’s definitely stressful. 99% of the time it’s “叫你做少少嘢都唔做”. I guess the only good thing is I don’t live with them anymore, so less arguments.
I hope after they watch this video, it doesnt make them annoy you even more :)
就咁睇完條片，感覺上你對父母嘅擔心或者言語會有大壓力係因為你對自己其實都唔夠信任😢你驚你自己真係會好似父母講咁會最bad case，未來一定會唔順遂，所以先會因為佢哋而搞到自己咁大壓力。我覺得其實都冇辦法改變佢哋諗法，正如佢哋都改變唔到你決定一樣。與其無奈改變唔到父母諗法，不如自己都首先將佢哋啊意見唔好睇得咁重要先？你嘅人生你自己㗎，父母再擔心都好，其實未來都你自己行㗎，對自己有信心啲。唔鐘意見到佢哋啲負能量咪拉開下話題囉，講下今日返工點，有咩得意發生，等佢哋唔好覺得你受苦受難緊😂再真係唔想覆，唔想睇咪講句知道啦，會小心咁樣😂父母講到尾咪就係驚自己粒寶貝女係出面受苦受難。你對你未來有信心嘅話佢哋一定會有一日會感受到。一定唔係話一下子就接受到嘅，所以大家要溝通。互相理解唔代表一定要妥協。你都大個女啦，唔好將人哋意見睇得咁重先，唔好咁容易被影響先得嘅㗎嘛！！！❤
Btw,其實我媽媽都係咁，呢番說話對你講之餘，都係同緊自己講！加油🫶🏻
yes, my mom is the same, always over worries about what could happen, need to teach them to live in the moment
有唔開心真係要搵人傾訴 由其是喺外國仲有好多其他野要面對
令我諗起有d人對男朋友或老公都係咁樣，無論對仔女還是男女朋友都千奇唔好"過分關心", 否則令對方造成壓力，結果只會遠離你，離開你才抖到自由的空氣
你試下睇下情緒勒索呢本書，同埋唔好強迫自己適應，知道自己的界線，下次睇到類似的MESSAGE，你可以選擇唔回應，唔好入歌個漩渦，你改變你的回應，對佢來講都可以反思自己，然後改變溝通模式。
我個人提議你自己一個女人在外國,不要出post 揭露自己的私生活. 始終世界有很多變態的人,所以要萬分小心. 一個post出,會將自己暴露於很多不同的人面前,如有人立心不良,你會很危險. 你要保護自己,低調生活. 我很明白你媽媽為何擔心,因為你太開放自己的私生活,她很怕你招惹到心懷不軌的人.
真心明!!!
但我反而覺得，你命很好呢！
有媽的孩子像個寶🎶
對於自小失去母親的我！
我卻想要這份愛！🥺
其實真係應該一段時間唔好同佢聯絡，俾自己遠離呢d負能量
永遠改變自己，總會快過改變父母
Take Care & Support you!
我想講 我完全同你情況係一模一樣 我媽媽又係咁樣！ 佢不斷pass 佢d負能量俾我， 我聽完我就更加負。 本來都唔係一個好正面噶人，身邊d朋友都話我個人好負面唔明白點解，我覺得同我媽媽咁樣對我 都好有關係咯。佢勒索完一番之後 更加心很累 我又係見到佢d message就下意識想逃避， 佢越approach 我 我就越想避開佢。 我都好希望我噶父母可以放手多d 。我唔知點樣適應佢咁樣， 我覺得大家都好攰好辛苦。
如果有解決到 可唔可以都出片同我地分享下🥺
同你一樣 我唔只呀媽 連老豆都咁
過分關注擔憂 搞到自己自細情緒都有問題
連自己響間房靜下都話點解會無聲
Plan緊自己搬出去住
你要加油💕🫰🏻
You have to train them, be proactive
一個家庭最需要溝通，有啲時候溝通要慢慢黎，唔好成日諗住一晚可以講清講楚 anyway Think positive, and be happy is the most important
最衰係佢地唔會想溝通，嘗試過無數次佢哋都係覺得自己冇問題，佢哋一步都唔會讓，只係覺得自己係為你好。最後唯有放棄同佢地溝通，改變自己諗法。
Sorry, 你是我第一次，看完片會留言的。為人子女 希望可以多些從 父母角度出發和他們相處。我覺得父母從小到大對你的關愛是沒有改變。改變的是你的現況 及要求。你現在面對的問題是耐心的跟父母好好相處溝通，不要讓他們感到孤單 （你有冇想過其實最不適應沒有你在身邊的會是父母 而不是你一個人在新環境生活呢？）。希望不要在 大眾頻道 說父母的不是。 如果 伯母有看此片，會有多難過？其實 人與人的關係 及溝通 沒有天書 可給你答案。每個家庭都是獨一無二的。要珍惜你現在擁有的所有愛。
明白你出於孝道，但其實長此下去，女兒亦會得到情緒病！相信這亦不是大家想看到的結果｡
十分有同感 仲比你更加嚴重 所以14歲就自己走咗去澳洲 極少番香港
做咗咁多年人其中一樣學識嘅就係唔好諗住改變到其他人，同埋唔需要同其他家庭比較，家家有本難念的經，你睇我好我睇你好，不過已經覺得你好叻，自己一個去到外國需要好大勇氣，已經好多嘢要處理，可能自己都容易有負能量，再要比佢啲負能量影響真係好難頂😖😖
身同感受 同是獨生 一個過分保護控制狂 一個滿滿負能量
My parents given me freedom and also overprotective at the same time!!
媽媽一定無諗過呢種過份關心會令你覺得辛苦，希望你同媽咪將自己嘅感受同對方講完會有所改變。不過掉轉角色去諗，你有無諗過你係呢個平台講嘅嘢媽咪睇到佢嘅心情如何😲
我同佢傾完解決完先出片🙌🏻 我亦都有同佢講咗有呢條片嘅存在
你係我嘅嚴重版啦哈哈哈。我媽媽都管得嚴不過而家我都係加拿大佢都冇乜得點理我㗎啦。以前去過英國生活六個月佢都唔可以成日搵到我咁跟住佢慣咗囉知道我唔會有咩事就自然都冇成日搵我間中我哋都仲會視像。佢都係同我分享正面嘅事情雖然佢個人好鍾意擔心緊張。佢又係會send新聞俾我哈哈好懷疑係同一種人格因為我係study mbti !
情緒勒索其實都好常見係屋企人之間嘅奉旨態度呢就係應該聽我講聽我抱怨諸如此類
我都同媽咪一齊住嘅時候成日有磨擦。但係講得多佢真係有改善。你要繼續加油同佢抗議。佢係好唔接受㗎當初。例如會講乜嘢我有虐待你咩。咁當然唔係咁解但係佢嘅方法我唔係好受用。咁後來佢都會明你唔係針對佢。同埋鼓勵佢搵返自己嘅重心。搵自己嘅興趣諸如此類啦。
My mom is istj 佢就係屋企嘅主管照顧巨細無遺。你參考吓可能你媽媽都係哈哈。根據mbti, 最弱功能為 ne , 能夠看到無限可能性（九萬幾種可能性）但係因為inferior position , 造成鍾意擔心嘅性格
所以我都係鍾意痴住我爸爸多啲佢比較同我係朋友關係
希望妳咁樣抒發咗出嚟會好啲
Newsflash - like you commented about that you are not alone in this dept.
Your mom, I am just speculating here but true in most cases, most likely has no hobbies, interests with her own life outside of her own immediate family. Thus, she spends the majority of her time daily expanding her energy, untamed brain power on silly stuff that she can't control over. The most accessible items will be focusing on her one and only daughter who is now living in Canada.
Don't ever expect you can change others. This applies to your parents as well.
You are a grown woman now. You have your own life to live. So don't worry about what your mom thinks, says to you or what she worries about you daily. All you can do is do the best you know how.
You can't control what others think. Just do what you think is best for yourself. You can try to help your parents to see it from your perspective. That's all. At the end of the day, every decision should be done to minimize risks, not totally eliminate risks. That's not how the world works.
Good luck to your new life in Canada. You will learn. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and wiser as a person who is battle tested.
Anyway, you come across as a bit over dramatic in the few videos of yours I watched. Maybe that's a youth thingy.
Remember, do what you think is best for yourself. Just be prepared for the consequences of your decisions. That's it. Who cares what your parents worry about as long as you love them and respect them right? They are NOT U.
The STRONG PLOWS THROUGH OBSTACLES with Faith In God of Abraham. The WEAK LOVES NON-STOP HANDHOLDING, EMOTIONAL PAMPERING and ASTROLOGY.
I think you must have someone you wants to take care of. If one day, after you have taken care of he; she; it for over a decade and tell you get a message that he; she ; it has to leave you, how’s your feeling? Try to get the feeling imagining stepping into their shoes to feel it. Human being is not alone but have to taken care of others who not even you know him or her.
Hope one day when you really grow up and have your family and child, you will know and fully understood why your mum is like that nowadays.
Voicing out your feeling is good as can take a rest but don’t just complain or grumbling. Figuring out a solution to live together in a mutual trust situations is the point.
I am here just to share my feelings. I am not trying to get away from the problem. What I do is trying to let her understand the situation and we talked it through after. Luckily, she understood all and admit that she was over reacted in most of the time and she promised to change. We are all good now
Support Support !!!
或者可以试试不要每段录音都听 父母无法过滤自己的情绪 但是你可以选择听哪段录音 希望这样可以好点 加油！
家庭成長嘅過程真係會影響人一世
不要想改變一個人，因為佢自己會覺得你無立在佢立場想
的而且确改变一个人的思想系好难的。曾经都经历过，或者宜家都仲经历紧，只不过自己在度逃避紧。呢种无形的压力真系会令你透唔到气，但又唔知道可以点解决。有时候会唔想翻屋企，有时候又觉得甘样会不会好不孝。可能时间太耐就会演变成抑郁症，总之就头痛了。
可能 Auntie 空虛， 寂寞，凍 即， 想要個機洞，好多 家長長憂 99
盡可能陪得就陪就算架啦。另一方面，
佢同你念經， 你又同佢念下經
下次你要講個D愛心經，
多謝你，媽媽。。掛著你，媽媽。。
我唸佢應該ok🤭🤭🤭
如果可以，嘗試學習Acceptance and commitment therapy，搵返自己既values先
💪💪💪
你已經好好彩 已經走左
💪💪
可能媽媽要去見一見精神科醫生，睇下可唔可以幫到媽媽，驚佢嘅擔心變左焦慮症。
解決方法多啲同媽咪傾電話，間唔中打電話俾佢,當你失去了你想要都沒有😢
為人父母真係要「化」，我個女幾歲 我都唔會煩佢
個女要去外國適應新生活已不容易 為人父母應該幫助子女 而不是再 添加子女壓力😢⋯你好叻 係咁嘅環境下成長 仍然咁努力去外邊探索
你本身同媽媽關係係點？會唔會分享一下日常生活俾媽媽知？如果佢感受到你係外國係生活係開心，佢應該會無咁擔心…或者多d facetime、佢有時間飛過來探你都可以架～😊
我已經有做所有令她安心的事🤧
其實佢擔心D乜，一個人喺外國好危險？驚好似東南亞綁架案咁？咁你拍拖嗰時係點，12 點前要回家？你信我啦，我真係好明白你，最明白嗰様嘢係我本身已經唔係一個諗嘢好正面嘅人，重要加多句大大力壓落嚟，好辛苦好攰，我其實都好想搬出去住，但諗到父母年紀唔少，對多一陣得一陣，就係咁一日過一日，慚慚你會發覺時間過得好快，好快得自己或伴侶在身邊，我係咁諗！
擔心我安全/一個人孤伶伶/人生路不熟/同男朋友感情生活/$$，你所有諗得到嘅嘢都係佢擔心嘅範圍內🤧 我會努力