accidentally ruined my barista's life (w/ Geoffrey James & Reilly Anspaugh) | Perfect Person Ep. 113
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Geoff and Reilly join the show to ascend to perfection, & take calls about roommate hair in your bed, a flippant BCC to the whole company, and a nightmare misunderstanding with a local barista.
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A flawless call-in advice show in which Miles Bonsignore answers your calls, solves your problems, and helps you achieve perfection.
MILES BONSIGNORE
Miles is an internet creator, comedian, and podcast producer, known for his work at The Try Guys, on The TryPod, as a commentator on Pretty Much It, and for being real cool
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Thanks for promoting Alma in lieu of Better Help :) Hopefully available in Canada soon!
miles. the way to a woman's heart is NOT clogging a toilet that she probably has to clean. team cash all the way.
That’s exactly what I said
miles I love you but when you suggested that he clog the toilet I started yelling at my tv. deranged suggestion. never change
I actually think Stoop should somehow tip the barista off about this episode. Get her to listen to it - then there's no need to clog the toilet! 😂 granted, Stoop & co. might still be too embarrassed to go back to the coffee shop since if that poor girl knew her bathroom visit was under discussion for a good 15-20min, she might want to crawl under a rock and die 😅. But at least Stoop would be exonerated and she'd know the truth!
RE: chocolate vs. candy, the word ur looking for is ~confectionary~ 10:48
Geoff and Reilly episodes are truly the best and I’m so happy the misogyny alert made an appearance with the creator
First story: I've been on the other end of that situation. One of my roommates asked if I was in her bed because she found a hair. Best I can figure out is that a piece of my hair was on the floor (I have thyroid problems and hair loss), and it stuck to my roommates sock with her bringing it into her own bed.
Static is crazy w hair. If she was being snoopy or weird otherwise id be worried but it comes off like caller hasnt lived with hair shedders before. I had a roommate who was barely home and never entered my room and id find long blonde hairs on all my shit by week 2 or 3 of living in a shared apartment
10000% what happened lol
Yeah once I started living with straight haired people I started finding their hair everywhere. I was in a different state for months and found their hair in my ass crack in the shower. It’s kind of nasty but just apart of living with others ig.
If you share a living space with another person you’re going to find their hair in your space. If it was a crazy amount of hair maybe it’d be a concern, but stressing about 1 hair is a bit of an over reaction. My college roommate and I both had long thick hair, we found each other’s hair all the time.
My partner has found my hair in some strange places. lol
i’m waiting for the day two opposite sides of a story both call into the show. like can you imagine if landrin hung up and then the next voicemail was, “hey miles, i slept in my roommate’s bed and i’m worried she’s gonna find out because of my bright red hair”
Advice to third caller, I would just start convo casually like "omg I'm so embarrassed, the other day I wanted to leave concert but I was so anxious that I decided to try to leave to bathroom to see how that would feel, isn't that silly" and then you go like "and after I returned to my friends I felt so bad about leaving that I told them how bad I felt" so you're just kinda explaining without apologizing and then it will click in her head without you needing to make it a whole deal
He should just give her a link to this podcast. Easy peasy, explains and resolves the whole damn thing.
@txo_txo8972 true, but then it's like "why are you talking about me and my massive shit on random podcast" lol idk
@katarinakorlat8707 that is an excellent point hahaha
All good thoughts here, this is one of the more difficult situations we have seen 😂
Up vote this. Then it's just a cute little anecdotal conversation no confessions if she didn't hear or pressure on her to acknowledge the situation or clean a toilet 😂
Miles: Well your name is Tomb so it’s gotta be…
Me: Pharaoh?
Miles: WOMB!
Me: Raider
I found one of my roommates hairs in my asscrack when I was showering a couple nights ago, I feel like hair being in odd places is a nonstarter
Not me but that literally happened to one of my roommates too with our third roommate's hair lol. Hair just gets everywhere.
if he clogs who'll clean it... team cash ALL the way or maybe he can lie about clogging. a sort of metaphor for what happened initially
absolutely also team cash
You gotta be tipping 100% every time you're in that coffee shop from now on. At least then eventually she'll remember you as the good tipper instead of the mean shit guy
i would so wear a hat that says “kings also poop”
I mean... best day ever, right? Reilly and Geoff are back!
We need as PP game show with a match between Jeff and Reilly x Wll and Reinie!
i would argue that plain milk chocolate is candy but plain dark chocolate is not.
White chocolate is technically confection (candy) and not chocolate at all, so I would agree about milk chocolate because it’s the middle between white and dark chocolate. Has cocoa in it instead of just the cocoa butter, but also when something is 40% chocolate it means it’s 60% other shit, aka candy 😂
The zoom in on the two glasses of melted ice on the carpet killed me.
Do NOT make that poor woman clean your shit 😭
Team Cash just because if you clog it, she may end up being the one to then have to clean your shite/clog 🚽 And money speakssss
Team cash 100%
Nobody who has ever had to clean a bathroom would appreciate someone clogging the toilet.
I think Reilly and Geoff might be my favorite guests????
As a Canadian, I agree that maple syrup is a sauce. The perfect sauce indeed.
Yes, i use it in my coffee errrrrrrday
@@Spacespacespacewaste Mmmm coffee sauce haha
Truly two of the best podcasts guests ever, always.
5:52 how come that loops but the get real song doesn't😭
We may never know
@@PerfectPersonAnd we wouldn't have it any other way
also i gotta say im definitely team cash
Okay but didn’t the first caller just step on her roommates hair and accidentally get it in her own bed??
There’s no way that isn’t what happened
Seriously!!!! Hairs fall and travel SO easily. I’ve even found roommates’ hairs on my laundry because we shared a washing machine / drier.
@@GretaGeliz if there had been multiple/several hairs in her bed, yeah the roommate was probably in it. but it was a single hair so i don’t know about that
You say that like this an absolutely fact. Just a theory and there are far more believable theories/explanations. There’d be more than just 1single hair and they’d be closer to the foot of the bed.
I’m not team clog, nor team cash… I’m team “show up to the coffee shop with a boom box playing the portion of this podcast” & cash…
TEAM CASH WTF LMAOOO 🤣🤣🤣
I literally almost did a spit take when I heard, “Everything else is Bonus Jonas.” 😂 Idk why I thought that was the funniest thing.
Team Cash, just give the minimum wage worker money 😂
To the barista one: you have to play the long game. Start coming back to visit your friends more often. Become friends with her somehow, without mentioning the poop. Continue over time to get closer to her. Then, one day, years from now, when you have a close relationship and history as friends, you ask her "hey, remember that one time at the coffee shop concert?"
A t-shirt that says “Everyone poops 💩 “ with a $5 tip would solve this
Right? It's like Miles is giving bad advice on purpose at this point just to troll people
Reilly's "all aboard" is giving crazy train every time I hear it
I enjoy you as a guest on the show Reilly, first thing I thought when I clicked the thumbnail was "Misogyny Alert!"
I feel like at this point, caller 3 might as well take the blame for insulting the barista’s bowel movements even if he didn’t do it. Like trying to explain an already awkward situation any further at her place of work would is already an awkward place to start. Explaining this whole situation with wanting to leave during the musician’s set has the potential to be seen as wanting to find an excuse rather than wanting to apologize. (not to mention is fully throwing the musician under the bus) And if the caller is going the cash apology route, they don’t even need to apologize in person! They can just leave a card or note along with the large tip just explaining “Hey I was at the coffee shop during this musician’s set, and I made this really poor taste joke when I left the bathroom that I think you heard. It was weighing on me a lot so I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have made that joke.”
My thinking is that caller 3 really needs to bury the hatchet even if he didn’t mean to hurt her so this barista isn’t holding this massive grudge against him every time he visits. If this all fails, then I think he has no choice but to find a different coffee shop to frequent lol
PLEASE GET CALEB HEARON ON THE POD ASAP
Omg I was SCREAMING at my screen during the candy chocolate debate
I would say that it would be more of an emotional reconcile with the clogging, but then ultimately she would have to be responsible for unclogging your shit
Oh my GOD i cannot believe i forgot about the breastmilk in scone incident! Oh the places we go in the pursuit of perfection...
re: coffee shop: "Hi, I think you overheard me saying something rude at that show here, it was an inside joke with my friends and I hope you didn't think it was about you. Anyway, I'll have a coffee," provide a good but not shockingly huge tip, don't follow up further, continue just politely ordering coffee from her in the future. Don't self-flagellate, and if she says "I don't remember anything like that," or otherwise doesn't remember/care, just say, "oh good, I was embarrassed," rather than trying to remind her or explain further.
this episode intro made me think i was stoned
Just in time for my morning poop
It's 5pm somewhere
For call 3, you’re just giving the barista more work lol chances are she’s going to have to clean that up OR have to put an out of order sign on the door and have to deal with mad customers because they can’t use the bathroom
Why the fuck would stoop give a random barista $100? Even if he was talking shit about her, that’s insane to suggest LOL
I'm team leave a really nice candle in the bathroom anonymously. 🕯️🚽 And leave a nice tip.
As someone who had a harrowing trip back and forth to Tampa Florida from Sarasota Florida to see childish gambino through rain my friend who insisted on driving even though I could have driven her car, watching this is grounding me. This show is part of my mental health. It’s the gun it brings
The first call was just crazy lol if you are living somewhere hair gets everywhere. Odds are a hair got on you and you put it in the bed and it could have happened anywhere in the apartment. You probably wouldn’t have even noticed if it wasn’t bright red and caught your attention lol
Miles I'm loving you. A lot.
Is there any way that Boston can get more tickets/a larger venue? 😢
Geoff is America's most valuable asset. Protect him at all costs
I am in love with Reilly. Uh ohhh misogyny alerttt
Clogging the toilet seems less like an applogy and more like a vindictive move to get her to smell your BM, since you had to smell hers. Also to make her then unclog it, just seems like a punishment. Love the concept as a joke though
Team cash all the way.
Everybody loves cash but on some level I would feel like the cash is pity. I don’t want to feel like I’m charity especially from someone who I feel maybe doesn’t like me. So I vote for team clog. He needs to embarrass himself in return if he cares that much
team cash. she does not really care about you and cash is nice.
The whole “womb” kerfuffle had me dying (pun intended)
Like for team cash comment for team 💩
Thanks for making morning chores easier ❤
Team just drop it let her move on
Miles, the Killshot's are dope AF
SUUUPAH HEAT
Fecal matter: the great equalizer
Fequal matter
Kings also poop
Rapid succession. Trying not to laugh lmaooooo
Team cash
Cash is king!👑
Can't believe Reilly said sriracha. Poison Hoyzen(?) with hoisin was right there.
I never comment but in regards to team clog verse team cash… The real solution is go up to the counter and when she says what can I get you today you say man I would really love a coffee, but I’m going to have to order tea because when I was here the other night listening to that band I had one too many coffees and it really kicked my anxiety into overdrive I was so panicked that the band was going to feel some type of way when I left I actually had to get up and try to leave by going to the bathroom and when I came back I felt so guilty just leaving to go to the restroom, but I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving to go to dinner so I had to stick it out for the rest of the set.
Favorite sauce: honey barbecue
Favorite candy: sour Skittles 🍬
Jimmy Dean 🌭
Perfect kiss: chef's 🧑🏾🍳
Perfect murder: fire 🔥
Perfect fart excuse: dog 🐕
Perfect salad: fruit 🍓🍎🍊🫐🍇
NEIN MEIN FARGHT CANNONNN!!!
team clog 💯% money comes and goes but that emotional satisfaction and embarrassment is forever
Team Send Her This Episode So She Understands What Happened
It may backfire though because depending on the responsibilities of the barista, she may have to be the one who fixes the clog. So then the barista will not only have been accidentally insulted by the caller, but also has to fix the crazy shit he dropped in this coffee shop bathroom
@@Jayk-kz7sh Yes exactly I feel like cash would be better when baristas don't make much anyway. And clogging is gross lmao for any of them to clean up
It’s actually sick that yall think her cleaning up a strangers shit is gonna make her feel any better 🤣
geoff dressed like jerrry seinfeld
I hate watching horror movies but I want to understand pop culture so I read horror movie listicles and Wikipedia articles a lot 😂😂😂
You are seen, Reilly!
Roomate caller is the problem
the themenine urge to be barista (not mine, tweet I saw)
36:50 - this needs to be the new "fart cannon" sound effect
MY FAVESSSSSS
This is Team Caio All Grown Up, feel old yet?
Youve gotta always blame a fart on either the most vulnerable minority in the room or someone with a past history of being abused, they are used to being persecuted/victimized and will fall into the role without much pushback
Reilly is clever
Miles is wise
Geoff is present, if that
Clog + cash is the true solution
#LFGM
Team clog
Team Clog 💩
team clog AND cash
Team clog AND team cash, clog the toilet. She deserves the $100 after unclogging
team clog
I really love when the guest disagree on Miles' advice lol it's just entertaining to watch. Cause usually they're all on the same page or bouncing ideas off each other but when one guest is just straight up like, "Miles no that's horrible advice" I'm like yesss 😆
Team clog
Please do not make this poor barista unclog a toilet. Her job is hard enough as is and this seems more like a punishment than an apology. I would think "that shit I took was so bad, this guy is trying to get back at me. 😭"
Girl, exactly! I was like "No no no no" the whole time they were talking about it.
These two are my favorite to guest on the podcast, always a riot, how could we exist without the always iconic “misogyny alert!!!”
As someone who’s part of the headgum pod -> perfect person pipeline, this ep made my morning. I love this trio!
Im a PP-> headgum pod listener and I couldn’t agree more! The cold open on podcast was so good too
What's that?
@@JackHammer503 Headgum is the parent network that Perfect Person is a part of. You know the little New Zealand voice that says "this is a headgum podcast" at the beginning of every video? Geoffrey and Riley are part of that company and host the Headgum Podcast. It's basically the company's own podcast where mostly producers and staff within the network chat and play games.
@@Jayk-kz7shI believe he's quoting Geoffs famous catchphrase
It's nice to see other inmates outside of the asylum
#whatsthat #thatsdazs
This trio is right up there with the wrecking ball crew, Geoff’s chaotic and just the right amount of snark and Reilly is hilarious and she always finds new details to each caller. Miles you’re perfect and i don’t gotta say more ✋
Petition for Geoff/Reilly/Miles new podcast
i think the last caller has to return to the cafe with their friends, wait for the barista to be within earshot, then loudly recount to the friends the story about trying to leave, and really enunciate the phrase she misheard the first time
but also the barista poopgate call is literally something that would be on curb your enthusiasm. the whole time listening to it, i was just thinking that this is such a larry david situation to be in 😭😭
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Absolutely NOT team clog if she does remember the incident she’s definitely going to think you are being a jerk and trying to get back at her for her poop, this is top 10 worst miles advice betrayals 😂
laundren im gonna tell it to you straight sometimes hair just gets places
Team CASH all the way I much rather get paid than an apology from a stranger lol
STOOP! Just give the girl a link to this podcast and call it a day. Clog a toilet?! WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
When you all were silent laughing about the womb/tomb comment I scared all 3 of my animals out of the room with my cackle
TEAM CASH ALL THE WAY!! the last thing i would want is to have to unclog your shit lmaoo
Okay but the thing about the clogging idea is that you are asking her to help you unclog a toliet at minimum wage job. You are having her help clean up a toliet mess to make her feel better??? Gross. I say just give her the money.
Team Cash Miles is insane for even mentioning clogging