I learned how to love myself by immersing myself in the subject, researching online from a biblical perspective. I journaled my feelings and talked to God about it. I also spoke with a Christian counselor. I refused to stay in doubt and now I experience God's love and acceptance like never before. Be patient and don't give up. God bless everyone here 🙏
I've been put down as a child & abused as an adult. I seek love from others. I literally had to Google self love. I told God how am I supposed to know my identity in you, if I don't know who I am here. 4 days ago he showed me your videos.
The hardest part is not seeking love in marriage. When your spouse changes and turns the relationship into something you don't agree upon but you're still called to love, even if it means your hopes and dreams will never be, and you will never get your needs met, ever... that's the hardest pill to swallow...
You hit the nail on the head with, “We did what we were told - ‘go out & love ppl. Serve others...pour out.’ But self-love is about receiving [love from God].” I remember being so angry with God when all of my relationships began to break down despite my having bent over forwards & backwards to love others bc I wanted so badly to be the hands & feet of Jesus. I felt lied to by God when my life was in ruins after doing what I thought He commanded. But the hurt & anger didn’t begin to let up until I realized, I couldn’t administer a love & grace that I had not yet received from God for myself. That’s when the healing began for me once that started to sink in. It’s so comforting to hear you guys, experts on this in my mind, saying everything begins with self-love as we receive love from the Father. Again, God Bless!🙏🏽❤️
@@melisaedge6582 really difficult.. Being beaten years by my father. Everything in my family (grown ups) is okay but nobody wants contact to me no matter how Hard I try.. I live in seclusion almost 4 years now. Every visit I initiate ends up short and empty.. I am on the virge of going into the freezing forests and wait till Im frozen.
So, if we love ourselves in a healthy spiritual balance, through God's lens, I believe it can be a big step towards overcoming codependency, which is the need to be accepted by others because of a lack of self love.
Ive had a fear of man instead of the fear of God. I've always wanted to please people and try to get them to Love me. It caused so much hurt. It was the wrong motive. I tried to get running water from broken cisterns and only God can be the source of living water for my soul. I find it hard to open my heart to God and let Him Love me. I pray we all find the ability to trust God and to heal
I have been looking for over two years now for someone that had gone through what I've been through and that God has brought out, they could teach me step by step how to get back to the Lord, it took two years before I received this understanding. I'm greatful to God that He is finally going to help me.
i love it so so much ... i am now 54yrs, and I have been born-again for over 30years, a broken marriage, i have hated the self love concept that has been propagated by the selfhelp movement which is very clearly a false doctrine... yet the Love of God AGAPE is the only type of LOVE that can heal the world.. this type of love can only come from God and not from family or any other human source... i have been searching for this golden solution of Godly Love towards SELF for so so many years... i have struggled with rejection since childhood and all the associated pain and addiction etc.. Thanks for sharing... May God Bless You alot..
I have read all the Scripture verses time and time again my entire life and listened to so many sermons addressing this same topic. It is so VERY hard to truly see that love God has for you when your world is falling apart in marriage and chronic unemployment. Praying I can accept my failures and rejection and be able to love myself as God loves me. Probably doesn't help I have been a passive husband too.
Hi CJ, have you considered doing some personal session work? I have information all about that on markdejesus.com/help. Email me at mark@markdejesus.com with further questions.
These are the perfect questions of what I have been needing to Ask Holy Spirit. Why do I find it so hard to love myself to make time for me, to do the things that bring me the most joy. And in truth I don't know why? Perhaps it is so foreign and unknown to me, that it is masked in fear because life never felt safe , if I did it was only in small and inconsistent amounts. My only true hope and strength comes from commuting my way to God. In my humbleness I rest in his love to complete the good work in me. Because he promises to. We are all his vessels and when we share we all get stronger together. Thank you again for sharing as we sojourn together.
I agree that we love others like we love ourselves. That statement hit me and I can see the struggle of loving others because I don't love myself much. I've been shamed by a family member for our son's bad choices and where he is now. I have guilt for missing whatever it was that caused our son's problems. I have trouble even believing God loves me much. I hear it, read it, but its not experientially a reality. I pray for it every day.
Laura I know I am sort of where's you are....I just realized that I have abandonment and negligent issues from childhood not a . mean neglect but my mother had child hood trauma and she was almost always depressed and anxious but also very critical and stern. But at times nurturing then my dad died I felt responsible and I Married very young I was desperate for fantasy love and he was emotionally neglect full and a workaholic spent alot of time drinking and partying with buddies and I played trophy wife and hostess'with the mostest....my son suffered with ADHD and drug and alcohol issues and prison time my husband blames it all on me says because I was being our son's friend and not mother but in my mind I was trying to nurture and have balance because of his dad never being there much . I feel awful I just want to have a relationship with God love him myself and others. I take God and the screen very serious top I just filled for divorce and I am concerned about that too.
I am a Christian. My husband is a wonderful and loving husband to me and our 3 boys. We have an amazing relationship but I find that I’m not loving to myself. I don’t like the way I look and I find myself saying negative things about my body all the time. They always tell me mom you’re beautiful and my husband tells me that all the time too. I was reading Ephesians 5 and it really hit me!! I don’t love myself as I should. I’ll be praying and asking God to help me with this. Thank you for this podcast 💝
Hey sis ❤ your not the only one..... a lot of women struggle with body image issues aka self hate I'm one of them due to childhood trauma and neglect and bullying and not being affirmed as a child that my body was ok so I began to chew off those lies that I'm too skinny legs too long look weird in a bathing suit shorts or skirt sis my insecurities were so bad i literally started putting sweat pants under my jeans so that I would appear to be bigger than i was I literally hated being so skinny now I'm not because im getting older and the Lord has blessss me to have alot of kids so I've been gaining weight but the torment of those years of bullying have been replaying in my mind. I suffered badly with comparing myself to the bodies of other women and I'm confessing that I have still been doing this even as a born again follower of Jesus it's like I've trained myself to look at other woman bodies and compare myself I've done my first step confessed and now I can go to the Lord to help to heal those wounds from childhood because the result of the mistreatment has effected my adult hood. Sis❤ here is something to remember there is no one size for every woman We are all unique in size Truth is it's ok to be skinny and it's ok to be plus size But we have to learn to love the skin we are in Some women have a body structure and they are built not to be really skinny and that's ok Some women have a body structure and they are built to be slim and that is okay ❤sis we are so blessed as woman because ❤we both have been blessed by God to have a husband that accepts our body image and truly loves us ❤that was God in His goodness giving us someone that would truly love us and accept us ❤️ just as we are . Sis please let me know if this encouraged you
Wow. God lead me here. I know this for certain. One of your videos just popped in my feed tonight. Had no clue who you were, but immediately subscribed while watching the video But this video right here. I relate to every last word. This has been my life for the past several yrs. Oh how abundantly grateful I am that God lead me here tonight when I needed this most. This was so awesome. Thank you for allowing God to use you and your channel as his vessel because that is indeed what this is. I am in awe. Divine timing!
I struggle to love myself by my appearance and just every little thing about myself. I've always felt like I was never enough for anyone, and recently my past has been revealed to me and im thinking that past trauma might be the reason for my struggle to love myself. My goal for 2021 is to learn to love myself so much that when going into 2022 im a compleatly different person. The hate I have for myself is stopping me from being my best for God and for others and im striving to fix that
Im trying to love myself while my brain heals from going cold turkey off ritalin and everything I ignored is flooding back. Long history of using alcohol and behaviors and then put on adhd meds. Im in a journey of self discovery and asking God to bring the rigjt healing teachers to me. GOD IS so good.
This video randomly came up and I really needed it. Within few minutes in could already tell this is for me. I struggle with balancing being working mother while taking being wife and trying to keep the house clean and cook while believing God for healing. Thanks
Wow. Your videos have been really speaking to me. I have been going through a lot of insecurity, anxiety and depressive seasons these last few years. I have been trying to fix these problems all the while being my own worst enemy. I am so grateful to have found your videos on receiving God's love. My desire is to be able to love myself enough to love others and God selflessly, without any ulterior motive. Thank you :)
I recognise I don't love myself enough in that I stopped loving/enjoying practicing things (arts) I felt passionately about all my life. And now I realise it in the loneliness I feel despite having friends & brethren in Christ.
Pastor Mark, you were almost exactly like I am right now. You are a huge part in helping God transform me and I will never forget it. Hopefully I recognize you in heaven. God bless you.
1. I noticed loving myself was a issue that I needed to address when I realized that I am very impatient with myself and that I never realized how harsh I am with myself when I do something wrong or I don't meet the expectations I set for myself. 2. What makes it hard for me to love myself was the fact I spent my whole childhood seeking love from all the wrong things and now I am learning that all I need is receive God's love for me.
This is a hard topic for me and many others in the church. I flip flopped back and forth back and forth on this issue. I so desperately want and need love! I have been all over the place internally. I remember talking to God and just wanting to go to heaven because I did not feel very loved down here and I know that when we all get to heaven we will have God's perfect love. What some Christians will say off the top is that (We love ourselves too much.) Have you heard this? This is where is gets complicated. But somehow in my attempt to not love myself so much I have become bitter, angry, and self-abusive which is weird because that is the opposite of what I was going for! I will dive into this study and pray about it and see what happens. I am the type of Christian where scripture and doctrine matters to me. So we shall see what conclusions I arrive at. Thank you Mark.
You are such a blessing to me from God Mark DeJesus. I have been binge watching your videos about rejection mindset and loving yourself the way God loves you. I needed this so bad to understand it and it is helping me. Thank you 🙏🏼
1. I notice that loving myself is an issue I need to address when I feel deeply let down and hurt when the one person I love THE HARDEST (my boyfriend) doesn’t show his love/affection for me the way I WANT/EXPECT HIM TO but does it in his own way... so basically, it’s in my reaction to not receiving love the way I want it to look like. 2. It’s challenging because I really struggle to control my emotions. It’s the overthinking that I’m not worthy enough to be loved because I’m giving my whole authentic self to someone and they don’t love me like how I expect to be...so I then start to think that I’m not enough.
I came back to revisit a second and probably more times to allow all you teachings sink in. So far the videos that I have listened to have been so on point! And I try to take notes as much as possible! Also I find this teaching of loving yourself is one of the main teachings for me and I will definitely revisit all of your teachings they have been such a blessing! You guys are doing such a great job thank you so much! Very transparent and open which is an awesome Christian example! Love you guys! God bless you and your family and ministry♥️🔥🙏🏻
1. Body / body image. 2. I think what makes it difficult is that when I am at the weight I like I feel ok, but when I gain weight I REALLY struggle (dare I say with loving myself). (My mother had the same issues. She passed away in 2013.)
This is sooooo good . I really appreciate you two for being brave , honest and transparent with us . For me comparing myself to others . Not understanding the love God has for because I associated love with pain . Because I thought allowing God to love me will get me hurt which happened to a lot of people in the bible . I know my perspective is not good and God is helping me get a healthy perspective of him , me and others .
This is such a blessing. I’m my own worst enemy. I still hate myself. Especially how I effected my kids. This, and past series, are certainly a hug stepping stone.
Awwww is part of healing I hated myself for allowing people to treat me the way did.I shared my experience on self love I hope you find time to check it out thank you. th-cam.com/video/jKqD1dcLlVM/w-d-xo.html
During our third visit to the Christian counseler as my wife was talking to me the counselled stopped her and said there you see your doing it again - talking down to your husband as though your talking to your child - I was so grateful he could see it - unfortunately that was the last time she would attend counselling with me.
Yes I'm struggling with this been so many trials and found myself over working to love encourage others but found myself exhausted and yes want to learn to give myself permission to love me and exhausted yes see the wars in myself I'm listening
Pastor mark everytime i listen to you something new is revealed and im just shocked everything you talk about is what i went through now i acted out through drugs and alcohol..i got your book about rejection, its on its way...but i need to talk to someone about this rejection
Mark. Listening to this. First I want to thank you both for your honesty means so much to me. And I just realized I’m ready to focus. It just suddenly came to me and it’s not important that it’s takin years to realize or just able to focus on your teachings. I’m ready. Thanks so much. Mark.
Wow! This is exactly excatly what I need. My struggle with self love is like yours where I beat myself up bad when things go wrong, and blame myself- relationally and any other area. People constantly say to me "You are hard on yourself". I am so excited, to learn more about this, this podcast and topic the key I have been looking for all my life!!!
For me the way people feel about me is how I think God has always felt about me. I learned this from childhood. I tried my whole llife to be good and do good. I was trying to fit this image hoping that God would make my family and others church included love me. I have been in a performance life my whole life. I believed for ever that God was mad at me and I mist of messed up so I have to work from forgiveness. I have been in church most of my life but have learned that for me to question to much meant I was in trouble so I kept quiet and just pushed forward. I struggle for freedom. I am so confused. I have been begging God for help. Lately I have been listening to some of your message on you tube and thank you. I am trying to get this rooted so maybe one day I will be free.
I wish I could just LIKE myself. For years I depended on the world to validate me but realize that the world runs hot and cold. I have been in a very dark place for many years for several reasons. I don't feel worthy of God's love and feel like I can never measure up to what He expects of me because I feel like a failure and broken beyond repair. I have lost many loved ones, pets included of course, that were better than me and I'm still here. The kind of grief I live with can't be resolved. Illness has taken away everyone who I dearly loved. Inability to cope and living in despair leads to it's own set of problems. I know God must know my pain and He is the only one who really does but how do I ask Him to help me? He is all I have. Is my faith lukewarm or do I not have enough courage and patience? All I want is inner peace. Thank you for this video.
Wow!! So nice finding you two in my feed today. A great timely message for me, Thank you for all your sharing. So down to earth and helpful. You are opening up the scriptures in away we need to hear them at this time. You put out some questions. I need think a little bit more before I send it out thank you for your Kingdom building work.
What a great vid on an important topic!! Thank you both for your vulnerability and using scripture to verify the points you made was so effective! Pls keep this up!!
Can you do a video about references for loving yourself and others? I've been in relationships ever since middle school and now as an adult, I'm still not sure I know what it is to love someone that isn't family.
Thanks for sharing this. I heard Pastor Jimmy Evans say that one of the grounds for divorce was if the non-believer leaves the marriage. I guess if you are married to a non-believer or someone who is not focused on growing, you, as a believer, can't leave the marriage because that would mean giving up on the marriage and underestimating God's power to possibly change it. I am not advocating divorce but as you mentioned halfway through the video, being married to someone who is passive and not focused on growing together, is hard. Do you have any suggestions on how to be married in such a way?
loving myself is an issue when i dont want to be anxious around people but then Im extremely panicky and over talk myself then after that I feel this deep sense od digust
I have a hard time loving myself when I don't hear it, and when I compare myself with others. When I'm around beautiful women who are highly educated and very discipline I feel so small and insufficient. 😢
I am not angry frustrated. But I am bawling alot and wondering if I can stay long enough for him to see his need to grow. I am so tired of battling bitterness because he succumbs to rejection. Resonating with what you said at 21:25
Mark, I hope that you’ll be able to read my comment. You mentioned your reached the point when your body was manifesting psoriasis. I have it too and I believe it is the physical manifestation of self-hate. How did you get healed or did you? It is so hard to look at myself in the mirror without feeling so sorry and pityful being me. Thank you!
First off I'm physically disabled. I've been losing my vision over the past 25 years to glaucoma. It never slowed me down until I became a mother two years ago and first when I moved in with my now husband three years ago. I had to learn how to be independent without sight and accomplished significant goals but now I feel like a failure. I'm lazy, sometimes I get caught up in the past good and bad times, I'm frustrated most days, lashing out in anger and hostility. I feel depressed and think about suicide. I'm always saying that my son and husband would be better off without me because I've brought all my demons with me. They wake up happy and I'm already cranky. Before I had a family I was miserable but nobody else noticed because I was single and I lived alone. Now I have in-laws and my family always wants to get together because I have a family. I'm sarcastic and tired and I might be hormonal, too. I've been a Christian most of my life and always think about how can I serve others and I can't because 1, I can't drive anymore and 2, I'm not even a happy person, why would God use me? I admire that I don't like myself. I've practiced caring for myself physically but no, I don't love me. Please pray for me and I hope your video content helps. So far, I've realized what my problem is because my friend and sister in Christ pointed it out and then I looked up this video was first on the results.
I could not understand when you said about your skin eruption and you stopped. I too have skin eruption which doc says is emotional stress. Pls help me to understand. Thanks
I had an emotional whirlwind of stress, pressures and experiences that broke my heart. They all collided around the same time. Within that time, I develop psoriasis really bad.
Usually the way the "love your neighbor as yourself" has been taught in sermons I've heard is essentially that you already love yourself. Because we're so selfish, etc. Is it a matter of interpretation ?
I feel very uncomfortable with the words “love yourself” because I feel like a lot of Christians do that. We already love ourselves. To the degree that we are quite selfish. But I do believe that we need to not hate ourselves. Perhaps the right word is respect.we need to give ourselves the same respect and mercy that we would give others and except God’s love and believe it.
I do a lot of discussion about the difference between knowing something in the mind/head and experiencing it in your heart. I pray those talks, resources and materials can help. I know I realized that I did not love myself, which led me on a whole personal journey of discovery.
True biblical love is selfless, it’s sacrificial. Self love & self hate are both self centered. They both stem from fear & not love. Those who feel the need to love themself are fearful of lacking love. Those who hate themself are also fearful of not being good enough. God centered love does not fear but always trusts (1 Corinthians 13:7). God is love (1 John 4:7-8) & he is sufficient for our needs (Philippians 4:19). God is capable of loving us better than we could ever love ourselves, do not fear & trust Gods love is sufficient for you.
God will send me a godly husband for me and my life and dreams and faith hands his wisdom and grace of his glory by God's gifted. Lord bless me a good man for my dreams in 2021. AMEN
Mark since I don't love my self am I a narcissist? I don't want to be......I want to love and be unselfish and will God help me change and forgive me if I am please help
It can be challenging when the inner critic screams when I leaning out of perferction and performance. Its actually scary to just rest sometimes cause its foregin to me
Wow brother and sister i have watched this more than once and just now the Lord used this video to point out to me that when you said when you would make mistakes youd be so hard on yourself you would beat yourself up and say something is wrong with you i am guilty of this. With my self towards my self ....and i think that i have not responded to my children appropriately when they have made some mistakes so now i beleive the Lord is showing me the importance of reaffirming my children even when they make mistakes For ex am why did heat your food in the microwave for 6 mins your gonna mess up the microwave vs. I see you tried to reheat your food thats cool because your learning and everyone makes mistakes the first time around and sometimes some people make mistakes a few times around before getting it down pat. So next time reheating food at no more than 2 mins try that out see if it works out good if now we'll up that to 40 secs Now why response to children is important bwcause it helps them not grow up to be so harsh and over critical about making mistakes it makes them grow up with the idea of giving themselves some grace to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes They will grow up more likety to say gee ok that didnt work out too well thats cool just a mistake vs gee im suck a freaking idiot common sense is not so common and im an example of that i suck!
My Alpha husband creates a play that he lives in and writes my role. If he feels emotional pain it’s my fault and I have to take responsibility for how he feels - immediate blame game. If his button gets pushed it’s my job to never ever do anything again that would ever push that button. (Rather than his processing his feelings and healing that button). Also - how he feels is the reality - not the facts - not what is really going on. For example if he feels confused - it’s on me - I confused him and he needles me by repeating that I am not articulate over and over. He thinks he’s being powerful but actually it is the ultimate of powerlessness - when he feels bad he has to force me to change - he is not in charge of his feelings - I am. So… the point is - I realize that my lack of self love keeps me emotionally trapped in this false scenario. I understand it intellectually but my wounds keeps me emotionally stuck. My way out of being reactive is to really love myself with the grace of God so I can say - oh that’s his stuff, avoid the sink holes and shrug it off rather than be devastated. God put him in my life to show me my trauma so I can heal them. “Blessed blood of Jesus Christ please wash away my wounds…”
I learned how to love myself by immersing myself in the subject, from a biblical perspective. I journaled by feelings and talked to God about it. I also spoke with a Christian counselor. God bless you.
I think I struggle with the concept of that I'm loved by God because of the times I have sinned. For example, I lie. Usually I will lie for survival because i live with very toxic parents at this point of my life. How can he love me when I intentionally lie or put myself in situations where I know my flesh is weak and I cave into it? There's a frustration there with myself. I put distance between me and God unintentionally because I think that I'm a failure and a disapointment to him. Why would he love me when all I do is sin or don't do something to earn his love. I know I cannot earn his love, its a gift but I keep trying to. Because that's how it is with my mom. I tried to win her attention, her love with my accomplishments, and it never did anything. I couldn't earn her love, just her brief occasional praises and that was it. And i think it stems from her mother who was unloving abusive. I want to break that chain and learn.
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I learned how to love myself by immersing myself in the subject, researching online from a biblical perspective. I journaled my feelings and talked to God about it. I also spoke with a Christian counselor. I refused to stay in doubt and now I experience God's love and acceptance like never before. Be patient and don't give up. God bless everyone here 🙏
I've been put down as a child & abused as an adult. I seek love from others. I literally had to Google self love. I told God how am I supposed to know my identity in you, if I don't know who I am here. 4 days ago he showed me your videos.
Same
same here
Same
The hardest part is not seeking love in marriage. When your spouse changes and turns the relationship into something you don't agree upon but you're still called to love, even if it means your hopes and dreams will never be, and you will never get your needs met, ever... that's the hardest pill to swallow...
It's an algorithm, not a miracle. Sorry 😅
You hit the nail on the head with, “We did what we were told - ‘go out & love ppl. Serve others...pour out.’ But self-love is about receiving [love from God].” I remember being so angry with God when all of my relationships began to break down despite my having bent over forwards & backwards to love others bc I wanted so badly to be the hands & feet of Jesus. I felt lied to by God when my life was in ruins after doing what I thought He commanded. But the hurt & anger didn’t begin to let up until I realized, I couldn’t administer a love & grace that I had not yet received from God for myself. That’s when the healing began for me once that started to sink in. It’s so comforting to hear you guys, experts on this in my mind, saying everything begins with self-love as we receive love from the Father. Again, God Bless!🙏🏽❤️
So good! Glad to see this Joi! Awesome
Mark DeJesus 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I'm trying to learn this.Reading " Experiencing Gods Love as your Father."
@@melisaedge6582 that is a really great read!!
@@melisaedge6582 really difficult.. Being beaten years by my father. Everything in my family (grown ups) is okay but nobody wants contact to me no matter how Hard I try.. I live in seclusion almost 4 years now. Every visit I initiate ends up short and empty.. I am on the virge of going into the freezing forests and wait till Im frozen.
So, if we love ourselves in a healthy spiritual balance, through God's lens, I believe it can be a big step towards overcoming codependency, which is the need to be accepted by others because of a lack of self love.
Ive had a fear of man instead of the fear of God. I've always wanted to please people and try to get them to Love me. It caused so much hurt. It was the wrong motive. I tried to get running water from broken cisterns and only God can be the source of living water for my soul. I find it hard to open my heart to God and let Him Love me. I pray we all find the ability to trust God and to heal
My upbringing was if I looked in the mirror, I was selfish. I am a work in progress and at 70 years old I’m starting to love who God made
THat's so beautiful , Gina! Had a similar upbringing--feels good to know I'm not alone in it.
“Lean into the rescue”❤
I have been looking for over two years now for someone that had gone through what I've been through and that God has brought out, they could teach me step by step how to get back to the Lord, it took two years before I received this understanding. I'm greatful to God that He is finally going to help me.
i love it so so much ... i am now 54yrs, and I have been born-again for over 30years, a broken marriage, i have hated the self love concept that has been propagated by the selfhelp movement which is very clearly a false doctrine... yet the Love of God AGAPE is the only type of LOVE that can heal the world.. this type of love can only come from God and not from family or any other human source... i have been searching for this golden solution of Godly Love towards SELF for so so many years... i have struggled with rejection since childhood and all the associated pain and addiction etc.. Thanks for sharing... May God Bless You alot..
I have read all the Scripture verses time and time again my entire life and listened to so many sermons addressing this same topic. It is so VERY hard to truly see that love God has for you when your world is falling apart in marriage and chronic unemployment. Praying I can accept my failures and rejection and be able to love myself as God loves me. Probably doesn't help I have been a passive husband too.
Hi CJ, have you considered doing some personal session work? I have information all about that on markdejesus.com/help. Email me at mark@markdejesus.com with further questions.
These are the perfect questions of what I have been needing to Ask Holy Spirit. Why do I find it so hard to love myself to make time for me, to do the things that bring me the most joy. And in truth I don't know why? Perhaps it is so foreign and unknown to me, that it is masked in fear because life never felt safe , if I did it was only in small and inconsistent amounts. My only true hope and strength comes from commuting my way to God. In my humbleness I rest in his love to complete the good work in me. Because he promises to. We are all his vessels and when we share we all get stronger together. Thank you again for sharing as we sojourn together.
I agree that we love others like we love ourselves. That statement hit me and I can see the struggle of loving others because I don't love myself much. I've been shamed by a family member for our son's bad choices and where he is now. I have guilt for missing whatever it was that caused our son's problems. I have trouble even believing God loves me much. I hear it, read it, but its not experientially a reality. I pray for it every day.
Laura I know I am sort of where's you are....I just realized that I have abandonment and negligent issues from childhood not a . mean neglect but my mother had child hood trauma and she was almost always depressed and anxious but also very critical and stern. But at times nurturing then my dad died I felt responsible and I Married very young I was desperate for fantasy love and he was emotionally neglect full and a workaholic spent alot of time drinking and partying with buddies and I played trophy wife and hostess'with the mostest....my son suffered with ADHD and drug and alcohol issues and prison time my husband blames it all on me says because I was being our son's friend and not mother but in my mind I was trying to nurture and have balance because of his dad never being there much . I feel awful I just want to have a relationship with God love him myself and others. I take God and the screen very serious top
I just filled for divorce and I am concerned about that too.
Amen
Amen
I am a Christian. My husband is a wonderful and loving husband to me and our 3 boys. We have an amazing relationship but I find that I’m not loving to myself. I don’t like the way I look and I find myself saying negative things about my body all the time. They always tell me mom you’re beautiful and my husband tells me that all the time too. I was reading Ephesians 5 and it really hit me!! I don’t love myself as I should. I’ll be praying and asking God to help me with this. Thank you for this podcast 💝
Hey sis ❤
your not the only one.....
a lot of women struggle with body image issues aka self hate
I'm one of them due to childhood trauma and neglect and bullying and not being affirmed as a child that my body was ok so I began to chew off those lies that I'm too skinny legs too long look weird in a bathing suit shorts or skirt sis my insecurities were so bad i literally started putting sweat pants under my jeans so that I would appear to be bigger than i was I literally hated being so skinny now I'm not because im getting older and the Lord has blessss me to have alot of kids so I've been gaining weight but the torment of those years of bullying have been replaying in my mind.
I suffered badly with comparing myself to the bodies of other women and I'm confessing that I have still been doing this even as a born again follower of Jesus it's like I've trained myself to look at other woman bodies and compare myself
I've done my first step confessed and now I can go to the Lord to help to heal those wounds from childhood because the result of the mistreatment has effected my adult hood.
Sis❤
here is something to remember there is no one size for every woman
We are all unique in size
Truth is it's ok to be skinny and it's ok to be plus size
But we have to learn to love the skin we are in
Some women have a body structure and they are built not to be really skinny and that's ok
Some women have a body structure and they are built to be slim and that is okay
❤sis we are so blessed as woman because
❤we both have been blessed by God to have a husband that accepts our body image and truly loves us
❤that was God in His goodness giving us someone that would truly love us and accept us ❤️ just as we are .
Sis please let me know if this encouraged you
Wow. God lead me here. I know this for certain. One of your videos just popped in my feed tonight. Had no clue who you were, but immediately subscribed while watching the video
But this video right here. I relate to every last word. This has been my life for the past several yrs.
Oh how abundantly grateful I am that God lead me here tonight when I needed this most.
This was so awesome. Thank you for allowing God to use you and your channel as his vessel because that is indeed what this is. I am in awe. Divine timing!
I struggle to love myself by my appearance and just every little thing about myself. I've always felt like I was never enough for anyone, and recently my past has been revealed to me and im thinking that past trauma might be the reason for my struggle to love myself. My goal for 2021 is to learn to love myself so much that when going into 2022 im a compleatly different person. The hate I have for myself is stopping me from being my best for God and for others and im striving to fix that
Forgiving myself for toxic behavior. I'm learning to recognize this and I was mad at myself for not knowing I had this.
Yes
Im trying to love myself while my brain heals from going cold turkey off ritalin and everything I ignored is flooding back. Long history of using alcohol and behaviors and then put on adhd meds. Im in a journey of self discovery and asking God to bring the rigjt healing teachers to me. GOD IS so good.
Mark & Melissa this is sooo SO good! God Bless!
This video randomly came up and I really needed it. Within few minutes in could already tell this is for me. I struggle with balancing being working mother while taking being wife and trying to keep the house clean and cook while believing God for healing. Thanks
Wow. Your videos have been really speaking to me. I have been going through a lot of insecurity, anxiety and depressive seasons these last few years. I have been trying to fix these problems all the while being my own worst enemy. I am so grateful to have found your videos on receiving God's love. My desire is to be able to love myself enough to love others and God selflessly, without any ulterior motive. Thank you :)
I recognise I don't love myself enough in that I stopped loving/enjoying practicing things (arts) I felt passionately about all my life. And now I realise it in the loneliness I feel despite having friends & brethren in Christ.
To change the old way of thinking about myself is the hardest challenge I have.
Pastor Mark, you were almost exactly like I am right now. You are a huge part in helping God transform me and I will never forget it. Hopefully I recognize you in heaven. God bless you.
1. I noticed loving myself was a issue that I needed to address when I realized that I am very impatient with myself and that I never realized how harsh I am with myself when I do something wrong or I don't meet the expectations I set for myself.
2. What makes it hard for me to love myself was the fact I spent my whole childhood seeking love from all the wrong things and now I am learning that all I need is receive God's love for me.
This is a hard topic for me and many others in the church. I flip flopped back and forth back and forth on this issue. I so desperately want and need love! I have been all over the place internally. I remember talking to God and just wanting to go to heaven because I did not feel very loved down here and I know that when we all get to heaven we will have God's perfect love. What some Christians will say off the top is that (We love ourselves too much.) Have you heard this? This is where is gets complicated. But somehow in my attempt to not love myself so much I have become bitter, angry, and self-abusive which is weird because that is the opposite of what I was going for! I will dive into this study and pray about it and see what happens. I am the type of Christian where scripture and doctrine matters to me. So we shall see what conclusions I arrive at. Thank you Mark.
You are loved
i adore the openness of you both you are being greatly used by God and we so need to hear this saved and those who are seeking
Thankyou guys for being so honest and vulnerable. This is so refreshing and helpful in so many ways.
Thank you, this has been a confirmation in how God has been leading me into. And hearing this is very validating. Thank you and love this content!
You are such a blessing to me from God Mark DeJesus. I have been binge watching your videos about rejection mindset and loving yourself the way God loves you. I needed this so bad to understand it and it is helping me. Thank you 🙏🏼
Where im not loving is my Self talk and compasión. What makes it hard is that the neg thoughts have been my Safety.
1. I notice that loving myself is an issue I need to address when I feel deeply let down and hurt when the one person I love THE HARDEST (my boyfriend) doesn’t show his love/affection for me the way I WANT/EXPECT HIM TO but does it in his own way... so basically, it’s in my reaction to not receiving love the way I want it to look like.
2. It’s challenging because I really struggle to control my emotions. It’s the overthinking that I’m not worthy enough to be loved because I’m giving my whole authentic self to someone and they don’t love me like how I expect to be...so I then start to think that I’m not enough.
you are enough
Fantastic knowledge. Really enjoyed listening to both of you. Thank you.
I came back to revisit a second and probably more times to allow all you teachings sink in. So far the videos that I have listened to have been so on point! And I try to take notes as much as possible! Also I find this teaching of loving yourself is one of the main teachings for me and I will definitely revisit all of your teachings they have been such a blessing! You guys are doing such a great job thank you so much! Very transparent and open which is an awesome Christian example! Love you guys! God bless you and your family and ministry♥️🔥🙏🏻
1. Body / body image. 2. I think what makes it difficult is that when I am at the weight I like I feel ok, but when I gain weight I REALLY struggle (dare I say with loving myself). (My mother had the same issues. She passed away in 2013.)
Read Psalm 139
This is sooooo good . I really appreciate you two for being brave , honest and transparent with us . For me comparing myself to others . Not understanding the love God has for because I associated love with pain . Because I thought allowing God to love me will get me hurt which happened to a lot of people in the bible . I know my perspective is not good and God is helping me get a healthy perspective of him , me and others .
Never imagined this would speak to me in just this way I needed. I so relate to this. I’m grateful that you have a book.
Ordering it right now!!!
WOW !! This video really put things into perspective for me !! Thank you for the vulnerability & openness !! It showed/taught me a lot about myself !
This is such a blessing. I’m my own worst enemy. I still hate myself. Especially how I effected my kids. This, and past series, are certainly a hug stepping stone.
Awwww is part of healing I hated myself for allowing people to treat me the way did.I shared my experience on self love I hope you find time to check it out thank you.
th-cam.com/video/jKqD1dcLlVM/w-d-xo.html
During our third visit to the Christian counseler as my wife was talking to me the counselled stopped her and said there you see your doing it again - talking down to your husband as though your talking to your child - I was so grateful he could see it - unfortunately that was the last time she would attend counselling with me.
Thanks y’all for the pov and god bless
Yes I'm struggling with this been so many trials and found myself over working to love encourage others but found myself exhausted and yes want to learn to give myself permission to love me and exhausted yes see the wars in myself I'm listening
Yes Ive always had this issue thank you for this!!!
Every word I needed to hear! Thank you Jesus!🙌
Also you two as well. Thank you for sharing from your Heart!
God Bless!
Pastor mark everytime i listen to you something new is revealed and im just shocked everything you talk about is what i went through now i acted out through drugs and alcohol..i got your book about rejection, its on its way...but i need to talk to someone about this rejection
Mark. Listening to this. First I want to thank you both for your honesty means so much to me. And I just realized I’m ready to focus. It just suddenly came to me and it’s not important that it’s takin years to realize or just able to focus on your teachings. I’m ready. Thanks so much. Mark.
🙏🏾
Wow! This is exactly excatly what I need. My struggle with self love is like yours where I beat myself up bad when things go wrong, and blame myself- relationally and any other area. People constantly say to me "You are hard on yourself". I am so excited, to learn more about this, this podcast and topic the key I have been looking for all my life!!!
Please continue your program,your the only ministry that talk on these subjects.I only found you now.Sharing these talks.You are awesome! Thamk you!
For me the way people feel about me is how I think God has always felt about me. I learned this from childhood. I tried my whole llife to be good and do good. I was trying to fit this image hoping that God would make my family and others church included love me. I have been in a performance life my whole life. I believed for ever that God was mad at me and I mist of messed up so I have to work from forgiveness. I have been in church most of my life but have learned that for me to question to much meant I was in trouble so I kept quiet and just pushed forward. I struggle for freedom. I am so confused. I have been begging God for help. Lately I have been listening to some of your message on you tube and thank you. I am trying to get this rooted so maybe one day I will be free.
This is SO helpful, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I could just LIKE myself. For years I depended on the world to validate me but realize that the world runs hot and cold. I have been in a very dark place for many years for several reasons. I don't feel worthy of God's love and feel like I can never measure up to what He expects of me because I feel like a failure and broken beyond repair. I have lost many loved ones, pets included of course, that were better than me and I'm still here. The kind of grief I live with can't be resolved. Illness has taken away everyone who I dearly loved. Inability to cope and living in despair leads to it's own set of problems. I know God must know my pain and He is the only one who really does but how do I ask Him to help me? He is all I have. Is my faith lukewarm or do I not have enough courage and patience? All I want is inner peace. Thank you for this video.
Ask God ask these questions. Ask Him how to pray and how to like and love yourself. Ask Him for wisdom
Wow!! So nice finding you two in my feed today. A great timely message for me, Thank you for all your sharing. So down to earth and helpful. You are opening up the scriptures in away we need to hear them at this time. You put out some questions. I need think a little bit more before I send it out thank you for your Kingdom building work.
I am a lot like you "were". Thank you for this!
What a great vid on an important topic!! Thank you both for your vulnerability and using scripture to verify the points you made was so effective! Pls keep this up!!
Wow amazing! Yes This is my struggle so many times.
This was just what I needed to hear we don't talk about this enough :) I love how you guess broke things down and explained it
You have really helped me. Thank you.
what fantastic content, thank you
I think this is one of the most practical and realistic videos that I have come across. Thank you.
Wow thank u for showing your vulnerability! God bless you both
Wow wow …. I needed this sooooo much
I am too hard on myself a lot, but our marriage is probably the thing that is truly making it extremely tough right now.
Can you do a video about references for loving yourself and others? I've been in relationships ever since middle school and now as an adult, I'm still not sure I know what it is to love someone that isn't family.
Thanks for sharing this. I heard Pastor Jimmy Evans say that one of the grounds for divorce was if the non-believer leaves the marriage. I guess if you are married to a non-believer or someone who is not focused on growing, you, as a believer, can't leave the marriage because that would mean giving up on the marriage and underestimating God's power to possibly change it. I am not advocating divorce but as you mentioned halfway through the video, being married to someone who is passive and not focused on growing together, is hard. Do you have any suggestions on how to be married in such a way?
Wow 12 minutes in so describes my inner dialog. Do more, try harder, you aren't enough...thank you for sharing this.
Oh my, I'm dealing with psoriasis and fatigue and well. I'm so hopeful I will be delivered from this!
❤
loving myself is an issue when i dont want to be anxious around people but then Im extremely panicky and over talk myself then after that I feel this deep sense od digust
Please do more videos on loving yourself!🙏
markdejesus.com/lovingyourself/
@@marktdejesus Thank you!!🙏
Wow👏👏👏this was such a shift in my perspective. Thank you Mark and Melissa. Be blessed ❤️
I have a hard time loving myself when I don't hear it, and when I compare myself with others. When I'm around beautiful women who are highly educated and very discipline I feel so small and insufficient. 😢
Me too
I am not angry frustrated. But I am bawling alot and wondering if I can stay long enough for him to see his need to grow. I am so tired of battling bitterness because he succumbs to rejection. Resonating with what you said at 21:25
Man I need to discover Gods love
Mark, I hope that you’ll be able to read my comment. You mentioned your reached the point when your body was manifesting psoriasis. I have it too and I believe it is the physical manifestation of self-hate. How did you get healed or did you? It is so hard to look at myself in the mirror without feeling so sorry and pityful being me. Thank you!
You just described me!
First off I'm physically disabled. I've been losing my vision over the past 25 years to glaucoma. It never slowed me down until I became a mother two years ago and first when I moved in with my now husband three years ago. I had to learn how to be independent without sight and accomplished significant goals but now I feel like a failure. I'm lazy, sometimes I get caught up in the past good and bad times, I'm frustrated most days, lashing out in anger and hostility. I feel depressed and think about suicide. I'm always saying that my son and husband would be better off without me because I've brought all my demons with me. They wake up happy and I'm already cranky. Before I had a family I was miserable but nobody else noticed because I was single and I lived alone. Now I have in-laws and my family always wants to get together because I have a family. I'm sarcastic and tired and I might be hormonal, too. I've been a Christian most of my life and always think about how can I serve others and I can't because 1, I can't drive anymore and 2, I'm not even a happy person, why would God use me? I admire that I don't like myself. I've practiced caring for myself physically but no, I don't love me. Please pray for me and I hope your video content helps. So far, I've realized what my problem is because my friend and sister in Christ pointed it out and then I looked up this video was first on the results.
all i can say is WOW
Dear Mark, you mentioned the husband " covering" his wife. What does this mean? Thank you so much for your ministry⚓
I could not understand when you said about your skin eruption and you stopped. I too have skin eruption which doc says is emotional stress. Pls help me to understand. Thanks
I had an emotional whirlwind of stress, pressures and experiences that broke my heart. They all collided around the same time. Within that time, I develop psoriasis really bad.
Usually the way the "love your neighbor as yourself" has been taught in sermons I've heard is essentially that you already love yourself. Because we're so selfish, etc. Is it a matter of interpretation ?
NEW SUBSCRIBER 🎉
I feel very uncomfortable with the words “love yourself” because I feel like a lot of Christians do that. We already love ourselves. To the degree that we are quite selfish. But I do believe that we need to not hate ourselves. Perhaps the right word is respect.we need to give ourselves the same respect and mercy that we would give others and except God’s love and believe it.
Whatever word helps.
I do not love myself,I just can’t wrap my head around it.
I do a lot of discussion about the difference between knowing something in the mind/head and experiencing it in your heart. I pray those talks, resources and materials can help. I know I realized that I did not love myself, which led me on a whole personal journey of discovery.
Me too
True biblical love is selfless, it’s sacrificial. Self love & self hate are both self centered. They both stem from fear & not love. Those who feel the need to love themself are fearful of lacking love. Those who hate themself are also fearful of not being good enough. God centered love does not fear but always trusts (1 Corinthians 13:7). God is love (1 John 4:7-8) & he is sufficient for our needs (Philippians 4:19). God is capable of loving us better than we could ever love ourselves, do not fear & trust Gods love is sufficient for you.
Wow, I so can relate to this & the tentacles of rejection. My siblings stir the pot often
God will send me a godly husband for me and my life and dreams and faith hands his wisdom and grace of his glory by God's gifted. Lord bless me a good man for my dreams in 2021. AMEN
What makes it hard the slow healing process of my brain. My energy...and my bf doesn't encourage me with loving words.
Cause its hard but lets see if this is way of helping others whos like this kind of problem
Then Jesus said His to disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me
Mark since I don't love my self am I a narcissist? I don't want to be......I want to love and be unselfish and will God help me change and forgive me if I am please help
It can be challenging when the inner critic screams when I leaning out of perferction and performance. Its actually scary to just rest sometimes cause its foregin to me
Wow brother and sister i have watched this more than once and just now the Lord used this video to point out to me that when you said when you would make mistakes youd be so hard on yourself you would beat yourself up and say something is wrong with you i am guilty of this. With my self towards my self ....and i think that i have not responded to my children appropriately when they have made some mistakes so now i beleive the Lord is showing me the importance of reaffirming my children even when they make mistakes
For ex am why did heat your food in the microwave for 6 mins your gonna mess up the microwave vs.
I see you tried to reheat your food thats cool because your learning and everyone makes mistakes the first time around and sometimes some people make mistakes a few times around before getting it down pat.
So next time reheating food at no more than 2 mins try that out see if it works out good if now we'll up that to 40 secs
Now why response to children is important bwcause it helps them not grow up to be so harsh and over critical about making mistakes it makes them grow up with the idea of giving themselves some grace to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes
They will grow up more likety to say gee ok that didnt work out too well thats cool just a mistake vs gee im suck a freaking idiot common sense is not so common and im an example of that i suck!
My Alpha husband creates a play that he lives in and writes my role. If he feels emotional pain it’s my fault and I have to take responsibility for how he feels - immediate blame game. If his button gets pushed it’s my job to never ever do anything again that would ever push that button. (Rather than his processing his feelings and healing that button). Also - how he feels is the reality - not the facts - not what is really going on. For example if he feels confused - it’s on me - I confused him and he needles me by repeating that I am not articulate over and over. He thinks he’s being powerful but actually it is the ultimate of powerlessness - when he feels bad he has to force me to change - he is not in charge of his feelings - I am. So… the point is - I realize that my lack of self love keeps me emotionally trapped in this false scenario. I understand it intellectually but my wounds keeps me emotionally stuck. My way out of being reactive is to really love myself with the grace of God so I can say - oh that’s his stuff, avoid the sink holes and shrug it off rather than be devastated. God put him in my life to show me my trauma so I can heal them. “Blessed blood of Jesus Christ please wash away my wounds…”
He sounds like a narcissist. 😢I pray you discover the fullness of Gods love and healing.
I don’t love myself. That’s why I am here. My friend can say without doubt that she loves herself…. I can’t
I learned how to love myself by immersing myself in the subject, from a biblical perspective. I journaled by feelings and talked to God about it. I also spoke with a Christian counselor. God bless you.
God help me to love myself
Many people leave the church because of this issue.
Do these thoughts still try to intrude at times?
How can you ask for the answer,if you don't even know the question?
I'm starting to work on this, but it feels so unnatural. I've spent years hating myself because I have a dark past with terrible sin.
I think I struggle with the concept of that I'm loved by God because of the times I have sinned. For example, I lie. Usually I will lie for survival because i live with very toxic parents at this point of my life. How can he love me when I intentionally lie or put myself in situations where I know my flesh is weak and I cave into it? There's a frustration there with myself. I put distance between me and God unintentionally because I think that I'm a failure and a disapointment to him. Why would he love me when all I do is sin or don't do something to earn his love. I know I cannot earn his love, its a gift but I keep trying to. Because that's how it is with my mom. I tried to win her attention, her love with my accomplishments, and it never did anything. I couldn't earn her love, just her brief occasional praises and that was it. And i think it stems from her mother who was unloving abusive. I want to break that chain and learn.
God help me in this area