Ngl I like the idea of this. Too many people view dating as a way to just hookup. Idk about you guys but when I date someone it’s because I’m looking for a potential spouse
Same way with Jewish people dont do kiss or hugs or touch until get marry and some countries few are same thing but in USA is freedom nothing can do but limit policy over age 21 for go out fun restaurant and church and many places but do not kiss in public only in private but someparents are very strict rules no allow for kiss and hugs and sex underage not permission it is legally go jail for call rape if young girl get pregnant then parents force young girl to marry to young boy if girl refuse marry then parents have rights kick girl out not turn back home or parents will take girl's baby to adoption away or keep one baby but nothing more at all not until over age 21 year old is freedom then parents cant do anything
@@oceanroses View dating like they want to. You said "too many people view dating like this". That's a value judgement about other people's decisions that don't harm anyone.
My parents had an arranged marriage but they’re romeo and Juliette ...... ok more like Ernie and Bert (you dont know them ? They’re probably a popular couple somewhere on the planet who love each-other a lot) Edit : mom I’m phamous
Your parents do suicide like Romeo and Juliet?! Nah don't mind me. I'm just joking 😝. It's just that Romeo and Juliet isn't romantic at all. They met just for couple times and then decided to do suicide after their parents dislike. I mean, their love just on looks rather than personality. I bet your parents relationship is much more way better than Romeo and Juliet.❤️☺️
@Levi Ackerman ik but they spent a year together planning the wedding and I think that’s where they fell in love before I think it was just pressure ( brown especially indians and Pakistanis have humongous weddings )
This is so interesting! As a Christian, we don’t really have anything like this that I know of, so this is a really cool practice that Muslims do! Thanks for the new info!
Actually yes we do there's no sexual dating aloud only when being married you cant kiss, embrace hugs, etc especially no sex before marriage, you date to marry.
Courting is most definitely a thing in Christianity. I knew many people who chose to do this instead of dating, I was raised protestant (specifically Nazarene) and it was quite common where I grew up in California.
I’m Christian but from how I believe, you can hug and hold hands. Definitely no sex. You can be alone together. Kissing is one thing that is usually controversial.
Right! And you figure out who they are with a clear mind rather than finding out who they are after you’ve gotten attached and abused/hurt. Honestly the more I think about it the more wisdom I see in it.
Well if your mind is trained on the idea of marrying that person from the get go, you’re not gonna be able to get to know each other for who you really are cause you are trying to make a good impression. Also, never being alone with a person means you are basically going into a marriage blind, cause there are things you would only discuss in private. That’s why so many marriages like that fail cause the partners aren’t happy or they get a divorce.
I honestly like the idea of spending time with someone with their family so you get to know their family at the same time you get to know them. That way you don’t feel like an outsider to the family when you finally meet them because you’ve known them from the start
I’ve never heard of a Muslim going to a party. I assumed it was Haram since there are usually alcohol there and other Haram stuff. However, I’m glad your parents have a great relationship!
@@infiresman8800 In my country, there are no haram foods whatsoever at a party (well if we're talking about weddings, birthday parties, etc), there's only be water, juice, and stuffs like that. Eating halal won't hurt you so why not eat it, we're just there for the foods tbh lmao
@@infiresman8800 I live in a country where 90% of the population is muslim. And one of my cousin has a movie plot worthy love story. They dated for like 10 years. And they are now happily married. So yeah! Sometimes this happens...
I love how you talk about both sides without any judgement! You just tell the facts and that's it. Thank you for that! Also, thank you for the explanation. Makes it so much more clear!
I feel like the big problem with this is that you only really see how a person behaves in public this way, which can be very different than how they are in private which you wouldn't realize until marriage so you should be able to see that side of them before marrying imo.
that's way the khotoba can take few years and we ask about the person in his work place (how they act ).. we ask his friends and the people around him (go through his social media) + we discuss and share our minds on many sensitive topics of course there is people who didn't do that seriously and regret it after but in my family they are very protective 😂
we don't have to worry about that bcz we do the prayer of guidance to Allah .if the person is suitable then we will get married if not he will divert our heart from that proposal . no matter how many times you spend time with them ,you will know the future with that person will go well or not.
First you can do a prayer that is called consultation prayer . Then you might know if you should marrying it might come into a dream or a gut feeling All my friend that are married are happy and in love it might not work sometimes, but most of the times it works for everybody Than its important to ask people around him, ask the kind of reputation he got ect
but can we talk about how this can work for other people too? In my experience, I have seen non-muslims date for 2-3 years and then decide to get married, but once they are married, their spouse behaves very differently/violently.
But can u be sure that u can see the inside of that person before marriage even if u live with him before marriage? For the sake of marrying you, he will hide things that u dont like before marriage, even if u live with him. He will not show his dark side. People get ditched even after marriage. And people also get ditched even though they had live in relationship before marriage. You can be sure only be when he will take ur responsibility. And he will take ur responsibility only when u marry him. There is actually no way of being sure about it before marriage. You can only pray and depend on Allah.
Being religious myself this is very similar to how we "date", more like a courtship. It made me happy to know that we aren't the only ones who have chaperones (as we call it) and view dating as a time to get to know someone, to later be married to them. But no diss to anyone who lives differently though live your life it's not my place to judge.😊
Yes; but your marbles are lost if you date and marriage won't happen. Men got what he was there for and you don't get what you were there for. after that he walks away and you left with a baggage.
@@adamali9346 That implies that men only want sex and women only want marriage which is FAR from the truth. In fact it can also be the opposite in many cases. So to be labeling the genders like this is quite sexsist.
I just wanted to take the time to tell you that I are a very inspirational person. Always happy and upbeat. U help to educate people about ur religion. There’s so many tales that run about. Thank u ur great !
They get to know each other before actually getting married if they don't feel connected they can break it off It's like dating someone without the physical relationship I'd say
@@arwa5931 but she said that it's with the intention of marriage? Idk, I respect the religion (those who are respectful with it), but there's definitely a lot about it that I don't understand
@@unicornsandthorns3973 well yes they meet with the intention of marriage But it doesn't always work so they just break it off before actually getting married
@@unicornsandthorns3973 and it's okay it there are things you don't understand I mean there so many things I don't know about other cultures and religions being respectful to one another is all it matters
I just call it “dating” or “dates” but truthfully I want to know the person for marriage, no physical contact until after marriage, must be chaperoned dates.
serious question but what if you marry a guy and realize that his d¡ck game is trash & y'all aren't sexually compatible? that's like choosing to stick to only one ice cream flavor for the rest of your whole, entire life without even trying the ice cream first...what if you hate it??🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️😨😨
@@multipurpose6984 you know a 5 second Google search would answer that for you? "Sexual compatibility is when you are on the same page about your preferences in bed, you are in the mood at the same time and your sexual drive is also similar. You know you have sexual compatibility when both partners are willing at the same time and it doesn’t happen that one starts off with foreplay and the other says that they are too tired and would prefer to sleep."
@@multipurpose6984 "Sexual compatibility is about being on the same page about sexual expectations. You know what to expect when your partner initiates sex you have talked about your boundaries but if they spring a surprise you are eager too. You go with the flow and come out enjoying the experience."
@@multipurpose6984 "What it feels like to be sexually compatible with your partner? You have sexual compatibility if you believe in the same kind of sex (vanilla, kinky or even public sex). You know the kind of relationship you want to have (monogamous or open), you agree on the frequency and duration of sex and you enjoy the same kind of environment and the same things turn you on."
@@tfamine1 well they said that “I wish I would have done halal relationship. now I can teach my kids that” and I wondered why they wanted to do a halal courtship instead of a traditional relationship. But thank you for offering to answer my question! If I ever have any questions about Islam/ the Muslim culture I’ll come to you and ask(:
@@kpopmashup228 because in islam halal courtship is alot safer than the normal relationship you know because there is no touching or kissing or s*x so its safe like that because islam protect the women from creeps with the hijjab to not show there face or there organ like there butt for exempel I hop you anderstand now:) And btw islam is the religion and muslim is the personne who practice the religion
For those who might not know, a mahram is anyone whom a Muslim is permanently forbidden to marry, because of blood ties and breastfeeding, (and sometimes the ties of marriage) so for a woman that is such as her father, sons, uncles, nephews or brothers. And for a man, his sisters, aunts, nieces and daughters etc.
Despite what people think, It really seems like the Muslim religion is out to honor, protect and respect women. The entire system seems to be geared towards making sure women are not taken advantage of or used. It’s interesting how more people don’t understand this.
Exactly.. It protects ur mind, feeling, energy and most importantly time.. Cz u r looking for a spouse to spend whole life with and not just hanging aroing being unsure about relationship
I agree, people can be a lot different when you are alone with them, it can be dangerous. I unfortunately know of women who have been beaten throughout marriage after thinking the guy was great but they never spent time alone before hand so he put on a good act. What worries me about this type of courtship is the potential abuse from men or women to their spouse, and now they are married it's even harder to leave
@@Anaonfire it's exactly my thoughts you never know the person unless you meet them privately, moreover, most muslim couples actually meet outside and talk to each other outside I rarely ever hear of a couple meeting at homes (unless they are muslims by name only lol)
What if none of your family members like person you’re want to get to know (not because they are a bad person but because they are wanting to be controlling). Who will do the chaperoning?
in that case, even if u r dating person and want to get married, your parents may be against it and not let the marriage happen. That's why, it's very important for everyone to respect their child's likings and decisions. But if they don't, they(parents) can be adviced if the person you wanna get married too is truly a nice person and we can make dua too as dua is truly powerful.
@@BobBob-pr4eh you're talking about righteous parents who actually follow Islam and want the best for their child. But that's not always the case, there are parents who have no reason whatsoever in denying marriage, or they have some prejudices like racism and all, not to mention that there are simply abusive parents. The commentator even said, "not because they are a bad person but because they are wanting to be controlling". In these kinds of situations, if the child truly knows that the person they wanna marry is pious, the child has to seek help, find Imam, for example, who can talk to the parents and find out why they're so resistant, etc. Because becoming an obstacle to your child in marriage for no legitimate reason is also a grave sin.
@@aleatar but some kids are rebellious and dont like to listen to the parents and give all these theories. Maybe if they ask their parents maybe then they’ll know why they refuse? Can’t say much about abusive people though, the kids are probably cut from the same cloth too people should avoid the at all costs
Your hijab and abaya are so beautiful! Love your videos I have learned so much I have always wanted to learn about Islam and I’m so glad to have found your channel
That's how most of the arranged marriages in India are held and it's beautiful in it's own ways. The difference is that we are allowed to be alone with the potential suitor but the families are generally kept updated about our interactions. I myself got married like this and together since 3 years. I had dated other men before but believe me, this is way more mature, directed and amazing if you are looking to settle down!😊
if there is anyone who could "supervise" (I used quotation marks because I don't quite consider it supervising but it's the closest word I can think of) then that is allowed too
In my view dating shouldn’t involve touching at all, it should be getting to know a person nothing should be serious until you’ve dated the person for a while and are sure, but if it doesn’t work out then you still have a friend.
@@yuliya7971 then just try to marry the person as quick as you can i guess, everyone who isn’t muslim makes it bigger of a deal than it actually is like it’s not that hard to resist a hug yknow
@@nene-kusanagi1 Marry the person as quick as I can? I would never marry a stranger because to me, someone who I can't hug is a stranger, not even a friend.. I find physical contact really important in a relationship, I would feel weird and extremely uncomfortable if I had to keep a distance from the person I'm dating.
@@nene-kusanagi1This is literally the worst advice ever, and it sets people up for a lifetime of failure. Marry an essential *stranger* as quickly as you can, so you can get a friggin HUG??? That is simply absurd. Islam is absolutely incompatible with Western values; I’ll say it over and over again.
Yea as a Muslim I’m not necessarily going to go for the halal courtship because the chances of me finding someone with a deep emotional connection is going to be low. Instead id get to know someone over the course of years as a friend without physical touching.
You won’t find an emotional connection with someone who is down for a haram relationship either. Just saying. The point of the courtship is to find out what the person is like, physically and mentally, their characteristics, and if there’s chemistry. If you check all the boxes, you are compatible! Deep emotional, physical, or any other kind of connection actually starts after marriage
In Christianity, (Catholicism) we Court with the intention of marriage. Time spent together always supervised too. It’s beautiful that this practice is also in Islam!❤
For me a date does not include touching or any other physical contact. It’s just getting to know each other so I don’t necessarily agree. Maybe I interpret it differently
Anyone watching, I really recommend a lecture called 'things I wish I knew before I got married' by Clear Lake Islamic Centre. There you can see scholars of Islam and community leaders talking about the issue in depth. One of my favourite lectures on yt!
i just broke up with a muslim guy because i had to find out he was actually in the halal dating 🙄 pressure no pressure of the family, he was playing both of us. You should talk how in your community they perceive non muslim women and are prone to being emotional abused for considering being less (btw i told the girl and she broke the engagement) and also how actually men and women find this difficult because a lot of the times is a lot of social pressure!
When I hear about halal courtships I'm just like: "Hey so uhh.. how are you?" *awkward stare* "... I'm good" *meanwhile my father and his father are just starting at us* It's awkward if it like that-
It doesn't necessarily have to be like that though. It could just be as simple as getting to know each other in a group setting or at an event with mahrams
@@riotgrrrl8807 It’s definitely an option. Let’s be honest here and just say you make a choice not to practice that type of courtship. We all have a choice that God have given us rather a person believes it or not. We also all live with the rules that govern the society in which we live, and of course, if we break those rules, we deal with the consequences. ✌️
@@Khadijah_time It's not like that at all. Some people simply don't get along well with their parents. Sometimes it has nothing to do with that and it's just that they're an introvert who doesn't like being in a group.
Thank you. I wanted to clarify something, Mahram is only from the female's side. Otherwise it's not called Mahram because men don't have Mahram they are the Mahram. I don't know if that made sense 😃💗
Mahram is someone a person(male or female) is forbidden to marry. Example:a man’s Mahram is his mom, sister, daughter etc, a woman’s Mahram is her dad, brother etc. Of course a Muslim woman is forbidden to marry a non Muslim man but that doesn’t make him her Mahram. If he becomes Muslim, she can marry him, in shaa’ ALLAH
Here in the Philippines a date only means an appointment iether with a girl friend or a boyfriend or a significant other , it doesnt mean it involves a man and a woman, does not mean sexual in nature
I think this is a great practice. Too often a couple can introduce physical intimacy too early and then their whole focus becomes about the bedroom. They lose their focus on getting to know each other and they don't build that foundation that will keep them together through the hard times. In my opinion if you don't have that foundation first any intimacy is meaningless.
Your comment is not based in reality whatsoever, it's just an anecdotal opinion and very judgmental too. Avoiding intimacy is not going to help you build a strong foundation, only emotional intelligence and experience will, and it might surprise you, but that's difficult for most people on this planet because things like that are rarely ever taught in school or at home regardless of country or religion. That being said, we are no animals, we are capable of doing two things at once and your point about the bedroom becoming the whole focus is so ridiculous it hurts to read. We are capable of building a physical and a psychological bond at the same time as well as communicate our morals, problem-solve and build a strong foundation. Abstaining from intimacy has absolutely zero influence on the strength of a relationship. Just because intimacy without foundation is meaningless to you, you built a whole biased argument to make yourself feel morally superior than others and it shows. Please invest in something that would improve your logical reasoning instead, and maybe rid yourself of the bias if you want to make arguments like that
Yea that’s what I was saying. Sex clouds judgment. You won’t see red flags if you rush into the bedroom too quick and then physical attraction is strong. That’s how a lot of people end up in toxic relationships
You get to know each other while having sex, while being intimate, while being close. It's not like you have sex the whole time if you're dating someone seriously.
Honestly back to the early 1900's and before us Americans and Europeans did the exact same thing, as dating wasnt a thing back then because people were always looking for a suitable partner for marraige, not just a temporary 'hook up'.
Yes! its totally fine to text privately (sending inappropriate messages or pictures isn’t allowed) it helps them find out more about each other, and maybe open up about things they wouldn’t want other people to hear. From what i know, they are allowed to text each other before the wedding, it also makes things less awkward when they get married, so they don’t feel like they’re taking a random stranger home.
This is an interesting point. If texting is allowed then is a private phone call also allowed? Tbh these both feel like modern loopholes to the no being alone rules 🤣
I agree someone else should be watching so that one or other doesn't make the other feel uncomfortable, but the 2 that are courting have a good knowledge and respect for their religion, its something they believe and want to follow, no one is making them do it, its their own free will so they will be happy to follow the guidelines xx
As far as i know,you involve a 3rd party but they dont have to listen to their private conversations,they can sit far as just to see them(the whole purpose of the 3rd person is to make sure that nothing immoral happens to the girl) and they can regularly talk, know each other better until they feel confident/comfortable in marrying the opposite gender... I learnt this from several videos i saw by the great scholar at this time, Mufti Menk. So i guess texting appropriately is allowed....
Exactly! Idk why people are surprised 😂 Even other religions did this too. The difference is, due to secular influences, other religions don’t strongly emphasize it as much as they used to.
You are the true image of a woman. Elegant, loving, classy, wise and energetic. I'm pretty sure I'm older than you ( 30) but I look up to you so much. You are an inspiration.
Sometimes you just have to be alone with that person for a bit. No need to touch, kiss, or even stand close. It's okay to just talk, but come on.. Some people act extremely different when they are alone rather than when they're sorrounded by family/other acquaintances. You'll never get to know them well at this rate, before marriage.
But how do you start the courtship? Like, how do you decide that you want to marry each other if you haven’t met before? Or am I getting this all wrong?
I think ! I’m not really sure, but let’s imagine you meet this person, you go to her and ask for her number, to catch up because you want to get to know her, and vice versa, and I think you have to inform your family, mostly your parents, so it won’t be “haram” because you don’t have to hide it. That’s the least I know, guys correct me if I’m wrong
I’m muslim so I know exactly my parents love story and Muslim youtuber’s love stories so based of what I know I’ll tell you the steps: 1)have a crush on that person 2)tell them “I really like you as a person and I would like to be with you for the purpose of marraige if we can get our parents involved and start the proccess right away that would be great!” In your own words but same concept 3) get married And thats basically it!hop i helped💖
You are getting it all wrong!You can meet up and like someone same as other religions. Like for example,my parents met at university and had to do a group project together so they slowly started to fall for each other and y’know the other steps❤️
my parents were kinda a mix of both because they met through the phone and got to know each other with marriage in mind. however their parents were not involved at all. when they first met face to face it was their nikkah day.
I have a question, so if you start getting to know someone with an intention to marry them but you soon realize that they’re a complete psycho or that your personalities don’t blend well at all, what do you do? Do you still have to marry them? If you don’t marry them, would that still be considered dating?
no ofcourse not, there are many people that get to know people for the intention of marrying them, but then dislike them and not marry them. Courtship is getting to know them to see if you want to marry them, you dont HAVE to marry them if you dont like their personality, but should then stop talking if your not intended to marry them
Halal courtship is very different from dating, just as she explained in the video. And when one starts to know someone for the intention of marriage, without engaging in any prohibited act, it is natural that they may come across someone who's not suitable for them. In that case you don't have to marry that person. They simply move on with no hard feelings. No harm done.
@@sheislayan7167 Right, but then that still resembles dating in a way cause a girl could potentially be talking to dozens of men before she finds the right one. It never made sense to me that you would get to know someone solely for the purpose of marrying them if you don’t know anything about them cause they could potentially be a bad person or not get along with you. Another question, and sorry if I’m wasting your time, but how long should you be “getting to know” this person before it’s considered dating? I’ve personally dated people who I thought were perfect but like 3 months in I just concluded that they were not the right one and that my initial impression of them was nothing like their actual personality. So do Muslims get months or weeks or how long before deciding to marry? Cause they could still potentially be marrying the wrong person if they don’t get to know them enough, from my point of view at least.
@@user-kys673 the ones that i witnessed were like this, people talk to each other a few times if they didnt like each other they say goodbye, if they feel like they liked each other they get engaged, and usually end up marrying but some people end it during engagement. Also in dating too, you let a lot of people become very close to you, till you choose someone. İn İslamic way at least your privacy is protected and you arent used by someone that can potentially leave soon
I like that you aren't saying one is right or wrong, you are just stating the facts according to your religion. I think that is important because it brings us all closer to understanding one another and realizing that even if we have different means of practicing, we are people and we do not have divine knowledge. We just do our best and try not to judge others.
To be Muslim all you gotta do is believe that there is no God except Allah and that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was his final messenger. Like the other reply says Islam is for anyone and everyone, and it’s very logical and makes complete sense. If you have any questions you can ask me and I can try to answer 🤗
Technically the chaperones give you space to get to know each other as in they are in the same space but you can talk to them but it's mostly likes and dislikes and views of life to see whether you are compatible or not nothing too I comfortable
This is bad practice and has to be abolished. Getting to know each other (emotionally, intellectually, physically...) is very important before marriage, so we can be sure that another person is right for us because marriage is a big step. No wonder that sadly often "culture" in Islam is oppressive and unfair, that is direct consequence of some of the bad teachings of Islam, like this one you described.
Maybe according to you physically getting to know someone is important. For us intimacy holds a lot more value and it’s a special experience that we want to wait until we are married to experience it. As far as emotionally and intellectually is concerned, that’s covered. We don’t go into marriage blindly as you are assuming. And “Islam” is a religion not a culture and its not oppressive and unfair but your mindset seems extremely oppressive. Hope you get the help you need
@@NinjaMommy First of all, thank you for your answer. Second, there are scientific studies that show how physical compatibility (among other things) is important and is likely to make a marriage happier. Furthermore, I didn't say that Islam as a religion is oppressive, but that some teachings of it (like this one) can contribute to culturally oppressing people. Finally, I don't need any help, I was just stating an opinion. (based on science, logic and experiences) I was criticizing a practice, not you as a person. How would you feel if I told you "find the help you need" just because I don't agree with you?
@@HaraBoss in terms of physical compatibility, we can discuss all that during the engagement period. What our preferences are, what our limits are, if we're open to experimenting and what kind, how high or low our drive is, and even how big he is because some men are too big and the intimacy will never work. Everything you mentioned is open for discussion with clear, honest communication
@@stariehearts2366 I'm glad to hear that, at least that in theory is supposed to be like that. However, I'm still sure that prohibiting dating, sex, spending time alone etc. is causing way more harm than good. Muslims should be able to say no to that practice and still be considered Muslims. I know some modern Muslims in my area that say no to this kind of archaic rules.
I love how you normalize your culture and religion versus the radicalism that we see in American media. When I hear you speak I hear just any other person without the ideas media has. Thank you for giving me this perspective.
You can ask the Muslim community, especially elderly people around for help.... it's just that two people must not be alone in a meeting.....and maybe supervised from a distance.....so there's no awkwardness either
The local masjid may have marriage services, you should call and ask. And your friends, if you know any Muslim brothers or sisters ask if they know a morally good, practicing, Muslim who is looking to get married. A revert woman is considered an orphan Islamically. So your biological father, unless he becomes a Muslim, cannot chaperone you. An Islamic judge, Imam or a trusted Muslim man in the community can be your wali (chaperone/kind of foster dad) he will speak to a potential man or a woman wali on your behalf and chaperone your meetings with a man (if you are a woman) to see that his intentions are pure and that you are kept safe from harm. Hope this helped. May Allah reward you dear sibling in faith for your righteousness in seeking a spouse, I pray he makes it easy for you to find a good Muslim husband or wife. Ameen.
Basically you just need a third person .. so you two are not alone.. meet at some public spot and tell that person to observe from a distance.. And let's say you can't get someone to do that .. then just meet at some public place and avoid any physical contact.. I mean you can't just not marry because of not having a third person in between.. Just the person you are going to marry is supposed to be muslims for sure..
Asalamwalaikum sister, I have a question - if you are a Muslim, is it permissible to marry someone who is not a follower of Islaam? For example, if I'm muslim, can I marry someone who is Christian?
i hope you can talk about divorce/separation in islam. my mom is in an emotionally abusive relationship w my step father and i really cant stand seeing her fall apart right before my eyes. she told me she doesnt want my brothers to grow up without a father but at what cause?
Yes you can very openly talk about divorce.. marriage and even re marriage.. but in some cultures divorce is seen as something very bad .. so thats cultural
Courtship is alive and well among Christians. Just celebrated 17 years of marriage with my hubby. We chose courtship and both of our families were involved at the beginning. We were introduced to each other by a member of our church. Also, some Christian women head cover too!
Ahh that’d be so hard for me like no hugging, I’m a very touchey person it’s how I express my affection towards people regardless of relation. Why is no hugging allowed? Why would it no longer be halal if the couple did hug, also are you then allowed to hug friends or no
any form of physical touch could lead to more and more inappropriate touching. like holding hands could lead to hugging and hugging could lead to kissing and kissing could lead to sex. pre martial sex is a major sin in Islam. and ofc we are human and we have feelings and desires so it’s hard to control ourselves when we’re alone with someone we love so it’s best to avoid that whole situation. you can only hug and touch friends (appropriately ofc) of the same gender. you can’t hug or touch friends of the opposite gender
@@ursismin2463 but friends of the same sex could also fall in love with you or see physical contact as something sexual if they are homosexual or bisexuals.
This makes so much sense. I wouldn't like to involve family / friends that early but the idea of dating just because why not never made much sense for me. Almost like a waste of time isn't it? I want to date to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and maybe even marry.
How are you supposed to form a connection with someone if your never alone or dont get to kiss or even hold hands. It is a bit ridiculous. Love is about more than just liking someones personality its about physical touch and intimacy. Not that you have to have sex but a kiss or a touch can tell you a lot about hkw you feel about someone
That's how most of the Muslims marry , even if not all the marriages success (for many reasons) but sure marriages don't success bcuz they didn't kiss or touch hands before marriage lol! I hope u got it, have a nice day
@@txtgyuu holding hands and a hug and being alone with someone to get to know them is really important. No one can tell me it is a good idea to have a courtship no one personally i think it is dangerous and ultimately leads to unhappy couples and unnecessary avoidable divorce
@@txtgyuu So if you really love someone you just deal with awful, incompatible sex... No matter how much you love someone won't change if you're both submissive or both dominant or if one person has a much higher sex drive.
why would you need to know someone by kissing? it’s not like after a french kiss suddenly you know which hospital they were born at, how many strands of hair they have, no. it’s weird
So basically it’s an arranged marriage where multiple people are involved and marriage is then planned with everyone’s consent. In my religion many follow arranged marriage because they think it’s safe if something goes wrong in future.. people who were present for this type of marriage may support bride or groom in case of issues
I am not religious at all, but i love watching this channel and learning about Islam, thank you for being so informative and respectful!^^
thanks to you for being respectful 🥰
Me too
Same. I'm an atheist but I like these videos
I 100% agree! I love learning about this religion, it's so interesting to learn about their customs, and practices.
Same
*The comment section of Ninja Mommy has differently Amazing level of positive vibe.* ❣️
It's almost like it is completely separate from all other negative TH-cam comment sections!
Or that comments are deleted 😕
I was having a discussion with couple people and now all those comments are deleted.
@Raju Dokal okay, that is very islamophobic to call a niqabi woman a letter box lady.
@Raju Dokal you're on to something huh
👙👙👙👙👙🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌
Ngl I like the idea of this. Too many people view dating as a way to just hookup. Idk about you guys but when I date someone it’s because I’m looking for a potential spouse
You're comment is so true and it deserves more likes and it is the same thing for me
Same way with Jewish people dont do kiss or hugs or touch until get marry and some countries few are same thing but in USA is freedom nothing can do but limit policy over age 21 for go out fun restaurant and church and many places but do not kiss in public only in private but someparents are very strict rules no allow for kiss and hugs and sex underage not permission it is legally go jail for call rape if young girl get pregnant then parents force young girl to marry to young boy if girl refuse marry then parents have rights kick girl out not turn back home or parents will take girl's baby to adoption away or keep one baby but nothing more at all not until over age 21 year old is freedom then parents cant do anything
How about you do you and other people do them.
@@riotgrrrl8807 do what?
@@oceanroses View dating like they want to. You said "too many people view dating like this". That's a value judgement about other people's decisions that don't harm anyone.
My parents had an arranged marriage but they’re romeo and Juliette ...... ok more like Ernie and Bert (you dont know them ? They’re probably a popular couple somewhere on the planet who love each-other a lot)
Edit : mom I’m phamous
Your parents do suicide like Romeo and Juliet?! Nah don't mind me. I'm just joking 😝. It's just that Romeo and Juliet isn't romantic at all. They met just for couple times and then decided to do suicide after their parents dislike. I mean, their love just on looks rather than personality. I bet your parents relationship is much more way better than Romeo and Juliet.❤️☺️
@@saiidatul157 O.o wow then lets call them ernie and bert
@Levi Ackerman ik but they spent a year together planning the wedding and I think that’s where they fell in love before I think it was just pressure ( brown especially indians and Pakistanis have humongous weddings )
@@saiidatul157 also Juliet was only like 13 and Romeo was an adult
@@josephineddarling5051
Well that's terrifying-
This is so interesting! As a Christian, we don’t really have anything like this that I know of, so this is a really cool practice that Muslims do! Thanks for the new info!
I think it's cool another christian watches these too
Actually yes we do there's no sexual dating aloud only when being married you cant kiss, embrace hugs, etc especially no sex before marriage, you date to marry.
Courting is most definitely a thing in Christianity. I knew many people who chose to do this instead of dating, I was raised protestant (specifically Nazarene) and it was quite common where I grew up in California.
@@mcmelre oooh yeah! That’s a really good point Id forgotten about!
I’m Christian but from how I believe, you can hug and hold hands. Definitely no sex. You can be alone together. Kissing is one thing that is usually controversial.
I love that you get to know them for the purpose of marrying them. I personally don’t see the point in dating if you’re not going to marry
Right! And you figure out who they are with a clear mind rather than finding out who they are after you’ve gotten attached and abused/hurt. Honestly the more I think about it the more wisdom I see in it.
exactly what is there to talk about if its not going anywhere
dont let them waste youre time
Well if your mind is trained on the idea of marrying that person from the get go, you’re not gonna be able to get to know each other for who you really are cause you are trying to make a good impression. Also, never being alone with a person means you are basically going into a marriage blind, cause there are things you would only discuss in private. That’s why so many marriages like that fail cause the partners aren’t happy or they get a divorce.
@@nousernamefound.7 but statistically love marriages (from dating) tend to have higher divorce rates compared to halal courtship
@@ashez5584 wow really? Didnt really bother to check until now,, you have a link?
Thank you for explaining this!!! I’ve been so confused by other people saying that Muslims don’t date, but this makes way more sense
I honestly like the idea of spending time with someone with their family so you get to know their family at the same time you get to know them. That way you don’t feel like an outsider to the family when you finally meet them because you’ve known them from the start
your abaya is so pretty! 🤍
i have the same one haha, it’s very comfortable. 😅
When your parents had a love marriage and met at a party and you watch this and your a muslim.
I’ve never heard of a Muslim going to a party. I assumed it was Haram since there are usually alcohol there and other Haram stuff.
However, I’m glad your parents have a great relationship!
@@infiresman8800 well party is a very vague word. A wedding is considered a party, an eid celebration is a party, family reunions and such are parties
@@infiresman8800 In my country, there are no haram foods whatsoever at a party (well if we're talking about weddings, birthday parties, etc), there's only be water, juice, and stuffs like that. Eating halal won't hurt you so why not eat it, we're just there for the foods tbh lmao
@@infiresman8800 we have parties without any haram stuff and still call them parties 😂
@@infiresman8800 I live in a country where 90% of the population is muslim. And one of my cousin has a movie plot worthy love story. They dated for like 10 years. And they are now happily married. So yeah! Sometimes this happens...
I love how you talk about both sides without any judgement! You just tell the facts and that's it. Thank you for that! Also, thank you for the explanation. Makes it so much more clear!
I feel like the big problem with this is that you only really see how a person behaves in public this way, which can be very different than how they are in private which you wouldn't realize until marriage so you should be able to see that side of them before marrying imo.
that's way the khotoba can take few years
and we ask about the person in his work place (how they act ).. we ask his friends and the people around him (go through his social media)
+ we discuss and share our minds on many sensitive topics
of course there is people who didn't do that seriously and regret it after
but in my family they are very protective 😂
we don't have to worry about that bcz we do the prayer of guidance to Allah .if the person is suitable then we will get married if not he will divert our heart from that proposal . no matter how many times you spend time with them ,you will know the future with that person will go well or not.
First you can do a prayer that is called consultation prayer .
Then you might know if you should marrying it might come into a dream or a gut feeling
All my friend that are married are happy and in love it might not work sometimes, but most of the times it works for everybody
Than its important to ask people around him, ask the kind of reputation he got ect
but can we talk about how this can work for other people too? In my experience, I have seen non-muslims date for 2-3 years and then decide to get married, but once they are married, their spouse behaves very differently/violently.
But can u be sure that u can see the inside of that person before marriage even if u live with him before marriage? For the sake of marrying you, he will hide things that u dont like before marriage, even if u live with him. He will not show his dark side. People get ditched even after marriage. And people also get ditched even though they had live in relationship before marriage.
You can be sure only be when he will take ur responsibility. And he will take ur responsibility only when u marry him.
There is actually no way of being sure about it before marriage. You can only pray and depend on Allah.
Being religious myself this is very similar to how we "date", more like a courtship.
It made me happy to know that we aren't the only ones who have chaperones (as we call it) and view dating as a time to get to know someone, to later be married to them.
But no diss to anyone who lives differently though live your life it's not my place to judge.😊
Yes; but your marbles are lost if you date and marriage won't happen.
Men got what he was there for and you don't get what you were there for. after that he walks away and you left with a baggage.
@@adamali9346 Hmm I guess I'm confused as to what you view dating as. We have pretty similar "guidelines" as she mentioned.
@@adamali9346 That implies that men only want sex and women only want marriage which is FAR from the truth. In fact it can also be the opposite in many cases. So to be labeling the genders like this is quite sexsist.
I just wanted to take the time to tell you that I are a very inspirational person. Always happy and upbeat. U help to educate people about ur religion. There’s so many tales that run about. Thank u ur great !
The thing I never understood about this, is how do you know you want to be with that person forever before getting to know them like that?
They get to know each other before actually getting married if they don't feel connected they can break it off
It's like dating someone without the physical relationship I'd say
@@arwa5931 but she said that it's with the intention of marriage? Idk, I respect the religion (those who are respectful with it), but there's definitely a lot about it that I don't understand
@@unicornsandthorns3973 well yes they meet with the intention of marriage
But it doesn't always work so they just break it off before actually getting married
@@arwa5931 ah okay. That's what I would have thought, but it sounded like that wasn't allowed 😅 thanks for clarifying!
@@unicornsandthorns3973 and it's okay it there are things you don't understand I mean there so many things I don't know about other cultures and religions
being respectful to one another is all it matters
I just call it “dating” or “dates” but truthfully I want to know the person for marriage, no physical contact until after marriage, must be chaperoned dates.
serious question but what if you marry a guy and realize that his d¡ck game is trash & y'all aren't sexually compatible? that's like choosing to stick to only one ice cream flavor for the rest of your whole, entire life without even trying the ice cream first...what if you hate it??🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️😨😨
@@foxsox1852 aren't sexually compatible what do u mean by that? if u mean about problems u can have a test
@@multipurpose6984
you know a 5 second Google search would answer that for you?
"Sexual compatibility is when you are on the same page about your preferences in bed, you are in the mood at the same time and your sexual drive is also similar.
You know you have sexual compatibility when both partners are willing at the same time and it doesn’t happen that one starts off with foreplay and the other says that they are too tired and would prefer to sleep."
@@multipurpose6984 "Sexual compatibility is about being on the same page about sexual expectations. You know what to expect when your partner initiates sex you have talked about your boundaries but if they spring a surprise you are eager too. You go with the flow and come out enjoying the experience."
@@multipurpose6984 "What it feels like to be sexually compatible with your partner? You have sexual compatibility if you believe in the same kind of sex (vanilla, kinky or even public sex).
You know the kind of relationship you want to have (monogamous or open), you agree on the frequency and duration of sex and you enjoy the same kind of environment and the same things turn you on."
I am going to Islam when I am older
May Allah guide you to good and let you accept islam inchalah
@Levi Ackerman How on earth was this helpful? There is more to Islam than these things.
@@arsisblessed wdym
Go to it now, for we don’t know how long our lives are meant to be. May Allah make it easy fro you sister. Ameen
@@saramikil008 well, Islam isnt a place. You cant "go" there
I love this thank u
I wish i would have done halal relationship. Now I can teach my kids that.
May I ask why? Just curious 🥰
@@kpopmashup228 what is it a question about islam or somthing i can answer
@@tfamine1 well they said that “I wish I would have done halal relationship. now I can teach my kids that” and I wondered why they wanted to do a halal courtship instead of a traditional relationship.
But thank you for offering to answer my question! If I ever have any questions about Islam/ the Muslim culture I’ll come to you and ask(:
@@kpopmashup228 because in islam halal courtship is alot safer than the normal relationship you know because there is no touching or kissing or s*x so its safe like that because islam protect the women from creeps with the hijjab to not show there face or there organ like there butt for exempel
I hop you anderstand now:)
And btw islam is the religion and muslim is the personne who practice the religion
@@kpopmashup228 btw i saw on ur comment on this channel is just about islam hope you one day you join us and u will ve always welcom:)
For those who might not know, a mahram is anyone whom a Muslim is permanently forbidden to marry, because of blood ties and breastfeeding, (and sometimes the ties of marriage) so for a woman that is such as her father, sons, uncles, nephews or brothers. And for a man, his sisters, aunts, nieces and daughters etc.
When you are so early that the video isn't even on her channel yet
I have always wondered how this worked. Thank you so much for explaining it so well and clearly 💗
Despite what people think, It really seems like the Muslim religion is out to honor, protect and respect women. The entire system seems to be geared towards making sure women are not taken advantage of or used. It’s interesting how more people don’t understand this.
Exactly.. It protects ur mind, feeling, energy and most importantly time.. Cz u r looking for a spouse to spend whole life with and not just hanging aroing being unsure about relationship
I absolutely love how u explained that.
oh interesting. imo, alone time is *so* important to a new relationship.
I agree, people can be a lot different when you are alone with them, it can be dangerous. I unfortunately know of women who have been beaten throughout marriage after thinking the guy was great but they never spent time alone before hand so he put on a good act. What worries me about this type of courtship is the potential abuse from men or women to their spouse, and now they are married it's even harder to leave
@@Anaonfire it's exactly my thoughts you never know the person unless you meet them privately, moreover, most muslim couples actually meet outside and talk to each other outside I rarely ever hear of a couple meeting at homes (unless they are muslims by name only lol)
I love how positive the comment section is for every one of her videos
What if none of your family members like person you’re want to get to know (not because they are a bad person but because they are wanting to be controlling). Who will do the chaperoning?
Good question
in that case, even if u r dating person and want to get married, your parents may be against it and not let the marriage happen.
That's why, it's very important for everyone to respect their child's likings and decisions. But if they don't, they(parents) can be adviced if the person you wanna get married too is truly a nice person and we can make dua too as dua is truly powerful.
Parents are there as advisors, if they don’t like the person it may be for a good reason
@@BobBob-pr4eh you're talking about righteous parents who actually follow Islam and want the best for their child. But that's not always the case, there are parents who have no reason whatsoever in denying marriage, or they have some prejudices like racism and all, not to mention that there are simply abusive parents. The commentator even said, "not because they are a bad person but because they are wanting to be controlling". In these kinds of situations, if the child truly knows that the person they wanna marry is pious, the child has to seek help, find Imam, for example, who can talk to the parents and find out why they're so resistant, etc. Because becoming an obstacle to your child in marriage for no legitimate reason is also a grave sin.
@@aleatar but some kids are rebellious and dont like to listen to the parents and give all these theories. Maybe if they ask their parents maybe then they’ll know why they refuse? Can’t say much about abusive people though, the kids are probably cut from the same cloth too people should avoid the at all costs
Just started watching your videos and you make me so happy!!! Love women empowering women! We are beautiful and strong!🌼💖💕
Your hijab and abaya are so beautiful! Love your videos I have learned so much I have always wanted to learn about Islam and I’m so glad to have found your channel
I just realized how pretty your eyes are am I the only one?
Nope~ i think so too! I bet others too
Well that's all you can see....
They're contacts actually....she herself stated in another short video ☺️
That's how most of the arranged marriages in India are held and it's beautiful in it's own ways. The difference is that we are allowed to be alone with the potential suitor but the families are generally kept updated about our interactions.
I myself got married like this and together since 3 years. I had dated other men before but believe me, this is way more mature, directed and amazing if you are looking to settle down!😊
I LOVEEE YOUU!!! your right dating is exactly what you said!! i wanna meet you your so nice &’ sweet 🥺🥺💕
I have questions on how courtship might work in a situation with abusive parents?
Good question! I would assume that other trusted family members would be best for a courtship
if there is anyone who could "supervise" (I used quotation marks because I don't quite consider it supervising but it's the closest word I can think of) then that is allowed too
In my view dating shouldn’t involve touching at all, it should be getting to know a person nothing should be serious until you’ve dated the person for a while and are sure, but if it doesn’t work out then you still have a friend.
What if I like hugs
@@yuliya7971 then just try to marry the person as quick as you can i guess, everyone who isn’t muslim makes it bigger of a deal than it actually is like it’s not that hard to resist a hug yknow
@@nene-kusanagi1 Marry the person as quick as I can? I would never marry a stranger because to me, someone who I can't hug is a stranger, not even a friend..
I find physical contact really important in a relationship, I would feel weird and extremely uncomfortable if I had to keep a distance from the person I'm dating.
@@nene-kusanagi1This is literally the worst advice ever, and it sets people up for a lifetime of failure. Marry an essential *stranger* as quickly as you can, so you can get a friggin HUG??? That is simply absurd. Islam is absolutely incompatible with Western values; I’ll say it over and over again.
Love you sis from Bangladesh 🇧🇩
Thank you for educating people on what Islam is really about! Especially that niqab is a CHOICE 🎉
Thank you so so much for the video ❤🌹
Yea as a Muslim I’m not necessarily going to go for the halal courtship because the chances of me finding someone with a deep emotional connection is going to be low. Instead id get to know someone over the course of years as a friend without physical touching.
You won’t find an emotional connection with someone who is down for a haram relationship either. Just saying. The point of the courtship is to find out what the person is like, physically and mentally, their characteristics, and if there’s chemistry. If you check all the boxes, you are compatible! Deep emotional, physical, or any other kind of connection actually starts after marriage
Awesome thank you for this 💞
Your channel has really taught me a lot about Islam. It may not be for me, but it’s insightful.
*has family baggage*
*sweats profusely*
In Christianity, (Catholicism) we Court with the intention of marriage. Time spent together always supervised too. It’s beautiful that this practice is also in Islam!❤
For me a date does not include touching or any other physical contact. It’s just getting to know each other so I don’t necessarily agree. Maybe I interpret it differently
Anyone watching, I really recommend a lecture called 'things I wish I knew before I got married' by Clear Lake Islamic Centre. There you can see scholars of Islam and community leaders talking about the issue in depth. One of my favourite lectures on yt!
i just broke up with a muslim guy because i had to find out he was actually in the halal dating 🙄 pressure no pressure of the family, he was playing both of us. You should talk how in your community they perceive non muslim women and are prone to being emotional abused for considering being less (btw i told the girl and she broke the engagement) and also how actually men and women find this difficult because a lot of the times is a lot of social pressure!
I absolutely love this outfit!
When I hear about halal courtships I'm just like:
"Hey so uhh.. how are you?"
*awkward stare*
"... I'm good"
*meanwhile my father and his father are just starting at us*
It's awkward if it like that-
Exactly.
It doesn't necessarily have to be like that though. It could just be as simple as getting to know each other in a group setting or at an event with mahrams
@@Min-qn8sg I have a trust level with my partner that I don't have with anybody else on this earth. This is in no way an option for me.
@@riotgrrrl8807 It’s definitely an option. Let’s be honest here and just say you make a choice not to practice that type of courtship.
We all have a choice that God have given us rather a person believes it or not. We also all live with the rules that govern the society in which we live, and of course, if we break those rules, we deal with the consequences. ✌️
@@Khadijah_time It's not like that at all. Some people simply don't get along well with their parents. Sometimes it has nothing to do with that and it's just that they're an introvert who doesn't like being in a group.
Thank you for this content, I knew nothing about Islam before and I didn't know where to start. This is very informative!
Thank you. I wanted to clarify something, Mahram is only from the female's side. Otherwise it's not called Mahram because men don't have Mahram they are the Mahram. I don't know if that made sense 😃💗
Mahram is someone a person(male or female) is forbidden to marry. Example:a man’s Mahram is his mom, sister, daughter etc, a woman’s Mahram is her dad, brother etc.
Of course a Muslim woman is forbidden to marry a non Muslim man but that doesn’t make him her Mahram. If he becomes Muslim, she can marry him,
in shaa’ ALLAH
Here in the Philippines a date only means an appointment iether with a girl friend or a boyfriend or a significant other , it doesnt mean it involves a man and a woman, does not mean sexual in nature
I think this is a great practice. Too often a couple can introduce physical intimacy too early and then their whole focus becomes about the bedroom. They lose their focus on getting to know each other and they don't build that foundation that will keep them together through the hard times. In my opinion if you don't have that foundation first any intimacy is meaningless.
Your comment is not based in reality whatsoever, it's just an anecdotal opinion and very judgmental too. Avoiding intimacy is not going to help you build a strong foundation, only emotional intelligence and experience will, and it might surprise you, but that's difficult for most people on this planet because things like that are rarely ever taught in school or at home regardless of country or religion. That being said, we are no animals, we are capable of doing two things at once and your point about the bedroom becoming the whole focus is so ridiculous it hurts to read. We are capable of building a physical and a psychological bond at the same time as well as communicate our morals, problem-solve and build a strong foundation. Abstaining from intimacy has absolutely zero influence on the strength of a relationship. Just because intimacy without foundation is meaningless to you, you built a whole biased argument to make yourself feel morally superior than others and it shows. Please invest in something that would improve your logical reasoning instead, and maybe rid yourself of the bias if you want to make arguments like that
Yea that’s what I was saying. Sex clouds judgment. You won’t see red flags if you rush into the bedroom too quick and then physical attraction is strong. That’s how a lot of people end up in toxic relationships
You get to know each other while having sex, while being intimate, while being close. It's not like you have sex the whole time if you're dating someone seriously.
Honestly back to the early 1900's and before us Americans and Europeans did the exact same thing, as dating wasnt a thing back then because people were always looking for a suitable partner for marraige, not just a temporary 'hook up'.
Is it allowed for the "couple" to text eachother messages that only the other one can read? Or is there a group chat with a supervisor? 🤐
Yes! its totally fine to text privately (sending inappropriate messages or pictures isn’t allowed) it helps them find out more about each other, and maybe open up about things they wouldn’t want other people to hear. From what i know, they are allowed to text each other before the wedding, it also makes things less awkward when they get married, so they don’t feel like they’re taking a random stranger home.
This is an interesting point. If texting is allowed then is a private phone call also allowed? Tbh these both feel like modern loopholes to the no being alone rules 🤣
From what I know' you have to have a supervisor there in the group chat to avoid any inappropriate texts or situations. Hope this helps!🥰
I agree someone else should be watching so that one or other doesn't make the other feel uncomfortable, but the 2 that are courting have a good knowledge and respect for their religion, its something they believe and want to follow, no one is making them do it, its their own free will so they will be happy to follow the guidelines xx
As far as i know,you involve a 3rd party but they dont have to listen to their private conversations,they can sit far as just to see them(the whole purpose of the 3rd person is to make sure that nothing immoral happens to the girl) and they can regularly talk, know each other better until they feel confident/comfortable in marrying the opposite gender...
I learnt this from several videos i saw by the great scholar at this time, Mufti Menk.
So i guess texting appropriately is allowed....
Guys let's not treat this like something new. 150 years ago catholics used to do it as well and it was a very natural thing.
Exactly! Idk why people are surprised 😂 Even other religions did this too. The difference is, due to secular influences, other religions don’t strongly emphasize it as much as they used to.
I recently subscribed and I just want to let you know ever since I subbed I fell in love with the vids you make awsome keep up the good work =)
I absolutely love your Chanel. Thanks for spreading the word and educating people.
Gonna need to watch this again when its my age to be married lol
You are the true image of a woman. Elegant, loving, classy, wise and energetic. I'm pretty sure I'm older than you ( 30) but I look up to you so much. You are an inspiration.
Sometimes you just have to be alone with that person for a bit. No need to touch, kiss, or even stand close. It's okay to just talk, but come on.. Some people act extremely different when they are alone rather than when they're sorrounded by family/other acquaintances. You'll never get to know them well at this rate, before marriage.
It Work Perfectly In Muslim Community.
Extremely helpful thank you
But how do you start the courtship? Like, how do you decide that you want to marry each other if you haven’t met before? Or am I getting this all wrong?
I think ! I’m not really sure, but let’s imagine you meet this person, you go to her and ask for her number, to catch up because you want to get to know her, and vice versa, and I think you have to inform your family, mostly your parents, so it won’t be “haram” because you don’t have to hide it. That’s the least I know, guys correct me if I’m wrong
I’m muslim so I know exactly my parents love story and Muslim youtuber’s love stories so based of what I know I’ll tell you the steps:
1)have a crush on that person
2)tell them “I really like you as a person and I would like to be with you for the purpose of marraige if we can get our parents involved and start the proccess right away that would be great!” In your own words but same concept
3) get married
And thats basically it!hop i helped💖
You are getting it all wrong!You can meet up and like someone same as other religions. Like for example,my parents met at university and had to do a group project together so they slowly started to fall for each other and y’know the other steps❤️
@@LC-zz1ow nice explanation!
MasyaAllah..
The beauty of Islam..
#Taaruf
Thx for the information ❤😊
my parents were kinda a mix of both because they met through the phone and got to know each other with marriage in mind. however their parents were not involved at all. when they first met face to face it was their nikkah day.
Also I had another question is that in Islam. (This is not related to the video)
Is high pony allowed?
Like if we are just doing it at home
Yes
It's allowed everywhere, lol.
Oh really??
@@rameenshahbaz9773 Yes, it's allowed lol. I wear it at school sometimes! Hairstyles with your hair tied are not a problem in Islam!
Of course
I'm literally in the dead center of this. Since it's all online courting our families don't get involved very much. I live away from my family.
I have a question, so if you start getting to know someone with an intention to marry them but you soon realize that they’re a complete psycho or that your personalities don’t blend well at all, what do you do? Do you still have to marry them? If you don’t marry them, would that still be considered dating?
no ofcourse not, there are many people that get to know people for the intention of marrying them, but then dislike them and not marry them. Courtship is getting to know them to see if you want to marry them, you dont HAVE to marry them if you dont like their personality, but should then stop talking if your not intended to marry them
No because your intention was to get to know them..
And of course you didn’t do any haram stuff..
You only talked to get to know each other
Halal courtship is very different from dating, just as she explained in the video. And when one starts to know someone for the intention of marriage, without engaging in any prohibited act, it is natural that they may come across someone who's not suitable for them. In that case you don't have to marry that person. They simply move on with no hard feelings. No harm done.
@@sheislayan7167 Right, but then that still resembles dating in a way cause a girl could potentially be talking to dozens of men before she finds the right one. It never made sense to me that you would get to know someone solely for the purpose of marrying them if you don’t know anything about them cause they could potentially be a bad person or not get along with you.
Another question, and sorry if I’m wasting your time, but how long should you be “getting to know” this person before it’s considered dating? I’ve personally dated people who I thought were perfect but like 3 months in I just concluded that they were not the right one and that my initial impression of them was nothing like their actual personality. So do Muslims get months or weeks or how long before deciding to marry? Cause they could still potentially be marrying the wrong person if they don’t get to know them enough, from my point of view at least.
@@user-kys673 the ones that i witnessed were like this, people talk to each other a few times if they didnt like each other they say goodbye, if they feel like they liked each other they get engaged, and usually end up marrying but some people end it during engagement. Also in dating too, you let a lot of people become very close to you, till you choose someone. İn İslamic way at least your privacy is protected and you arent used by someone that can potentially leave soon
I like that you aren't saying one is right or wrong, you are just stating the facts according to your religion. I think that is important because it brings us all closer to understanding one another and realizing that even if we have different means of practicing, we are people and we do not have divine knowledge. We just do our best and try not to judge others.
i love your videos
Jazakallah khair for sharing
SIDRA - WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR CLOTHES?! 😍
Omg yes I want to know aswell 😍
@Meher Zubair I'm gonna go check that out! Thanks!
I'm not Muslim. But they have it ABSOLUTELY RIGHT on this!
Thank you !
I wish I were muslim, this sounds like the PERFECT way to have a relationship without getting used for my looks or my body. I just want mairrage!
Anyone can be a Muslim
To be Muslim all you gotta do is believe that there is no God except Allah and that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was his final messenger. Like the other reply says Islam is for anyone and everyone, and it’s very logical and makes complete sense. If you have any questions you can ask me and I can try to answer 🤗
@@loveyourself5642 Unfortunately I am an Atheist
Such a beautiful religion indeed. If I were born into it my life could have been so much easier from the start.
@@comradedyatlov4143 even atheists can still be muslims if u ever want to, the choice is always yours :)
May Allah reward you for educating us Ameen
So you never had a private conversation with your husband before getting married?
@@txtgyuu You can't get to truly get to know someone if you are always surrounded by other people and never have privacy.
Technically the chaperones give you space to get to know each other as in they are in the same space but you can talk to them but it's mostly likes and dislikes and views of life to see whether you are compatible or not nothing too I comfortable
Thank you for shearing this 🥺💗
I’m Muslim but I’m wondering what if they’re orphans?? I don’t get the family part?
I guess maybe their foster parent can come, the family has to be with them at all times so there won't be any physical sexual contact.
Thankyou for the Insight!
This is bad practice and has to be abolished. Getting to know each other (emotionally, intellectually, physically...) is very important before marriage, so we can be sure that another person is right for us because marriage is a big step.
No wonder that sadly often "culture" in Islam is oppressive and unfair, that is direct consequence of some of the bad teachings of Islam, like this one you described.
Maybe according to you physically getting to know someone is important. For us intimacy holds a lot more value and it’s a special experience that we want to wait until we are married to experience it. As far as emotionally and intellectually is concerned, that’s covered. We don’t go into marriage blindly as you are assuming.
And “Islam” is a religion not a culture and its not oppressive and unfair but your mindset seems extremely oppressive. Hope you get the help you need
@@NinjaMommy First of all, thank you for your answer. Second, there are scientific studies that show how physical compatibility (among other things) is important and is likely to make a marriage happier.
Furthermore, I didn't say that Islam as a religion is oppressive, but that some teachings of it (like this one) can contribute to culturally oppressing people.
Finally, I don't need any help, I was just stating an opinion. (based on science, logic and experiences) I was criticizing a practice, not you as a person. How would you feel if I told you "find the help you need" just because I don't agree with you?
@@HaraBoss in terms of physical compatibility, we can discuss all that during the engagement period. What our preferences are, what our limits are, if we're open to experimenting and what kind, how high or low our drive is, and even how big he is because some men are too big and the intimacy will never work. Everything you mentioned is open for discussion with clear, honest communication
@@stariehearts2366 I'm glad to hear that, at least that in theory is supposed to be like that. However, I'm still sure that prohibiting dating, sex, spending time alone etc. is causing way more harm than good. Muslims should be able to say no to that practice and still be considered Muslims. I know some modern Muslims in my area that say no to this kind of archaic rules.
@@HaraBoss agreed
Finally! I been wondering what the difference was. Thank you, now I know.
How can you get to know someone properly if you’re never alone with them? It’s not everything you can talk about in the presence of someone else.
That's something I wonder too. With no privacy you can't know someone or fall in love that easily.
I love how you normalize your culture and religion versus the radicalism that we see in American media. When I hear you speak I hear just any other person without the ideas media has. Thank you for giving me this perspective.
what should i do as a revert because my parents won’t help me get married the halal way so how can i meet someone and not be sinning
You can ask the Muslim community, especially elderly people around for help.... it's just that two people must not be alone in a meeting.....and maybe supervised from a distance.....so there's no awkwardness either
The local masjid may have marriage services, you should call and ask. And your friends, if you know any Muslim brothers or sisters ask if they know a morally good, practicing, Muslim who is looking to get married.
A revert woman is considered an orphan Islamically. So your biological father, unless he becomes a Muslim, cannot chaperone you. An Islamic judge, Imam or a trusted Muslim man in the community can be your wali (chaperone/kind of foster dad) he will speak to a potential man or a woman wali on your behalf and chaperone your meetings with a man (if you are a woman) to see that his intentions are pure and that you are kept safe from harm. Hope this helped.
May Allah reward you dear sibling in faith for your righteousness in seeking a spouse, I pray he makes it easy for you to find a good Muslim husband or wife. Ameen.
Basically you just need a third person .. so you two are not alone.. meet at some public spot and tell that person to observe from a distance..
And let's say you can't get someone to do that .. then just meet at some public place and avoid any physical contact..
I mean you can't just not marry because of not having a third person in between..
Just the person you are going to marry is supposed to be muslims for sure..
That niqab!!! The abaya!! OMG!! ITS SO GOOD!!! WHERE DID U BUY IT??
Me A weeb: Im kissing my pillow and hugging it to say its Deku.
Also, I love your vids so much! They help me learn so many huge steps!
i never expected to see a fellow weeb here but sure-
are you ok
@@nolol7526 i dont think they are
@@yangyang857 neither do i (if ur talking bout me sry)
I'm a kpop stan and i kisz my pillow all da time 😳😳😳😳
mom: BRING YOUR SISTER WITH YOU WHEN YOU'RE COURTING WITH HIM
Me: not like i have any choice, but sure.
Asalamwalaikum sister, I have a question - if you are a Muslim, is it permissible to marry someone who is not a follower of Islaam? For example, if I'm muslim, can I marry someone who is Christian?
If you're male yes, if not, no
Female no male yes but not encouraged
@@nousername105 its encouraged!
Not encouraged or well appreciated.....only allowed
And only muslim men can marry jew or christian girl .....not any religion other than tha
i hope you can talk about divorce/separation in islam. my mom is in an emotionally abusive relationship w my step father and i really cant stand seeing her fall apart right before my eyes. she told me she doesnt want my brothers to grow up without a father but at what cause?
Yes you can very openly talk about divorce.. marriage and even re marriage.. but in some cultures divorce is seen as something very bad .. so thats cultural
Yeah I was wondering that because of the boys and girls can’t be friends video
Courtship is alive and well among Christians. Just celebrated 17 years of marriage with my hubby. We chose courtship and both of our families were involved at the beginning. We were introduced to each other by a member of our church. Also, some Christian women head cover too!
Ahh that’d be so hard for me like no hugging, I’m a very touchey person it’s how I express my affection towards people regardless of relation. Why is no hugging allowed? Why would it no longer be halal if the couple did hug, also are you then allowed to hug friends or no
any form of physical touch could lead to more and more inappropriate touching. like holding hands could lead to hugging and hugging could lead to kissing and kissing could lead to sex. pre martial sex is a major sin in Islam. and ofc we are human and we have feelings and desires so it’s hard to control ourselves when we’re alone with someone we love so it’s best to avoid that whole situation. you can only hug and touch friends (appropriately ofc) of the same gender. you can’t hug or touch friends of the opposite gender
@@ursismin2463 but friends of the same sex could also fall in love with you or see physical contact as something sexual if they are homosexual or bisexuals.
@@Bella-uc5om yes and that’s their choice. if you see them as just a friend and hug them then it’s not your fault that they fell in love with you.
@@ursismin2463 oh okay, that makes sense. But why cant you use the same logic for friends of the opposite gender? If you also see them as friends
@@Bella-uc5om it doesn’t work bc they are the opposite gender by biology
This makes so much sense. I wouldn't like to involve family / friends that early but the idea of dating just because why not never made much sense for me. Almost like a waste of time isn't it? I want to date to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and maybe even marry.
How are you supposed to form a connection with someone if your never alone or dont get to kiss or even hold hands. It is a bit ridiculous. Love is about more than just liking someones personality its about physical touch and intimacy. Not that you have to have sex but a kiss or a touch can tell you a lot about hkw you feel about someone
That's how most of the Muslims marry , even if not all the marriages success (for many reasons) but sure marriages don't success bcuz they didn't kiss or touch hands before marriage lol! I hope u got it, have a nice day
Btw if he's the right person you will feel that trust me, so no need to kiss or touch
@@txtgyuu holding hands and a hug and being alone with someone to get to know them is really important. No one can tell me it is a good idea to have a courtship no one personally i think it is dangerous and ultimately leads to unhappy couples and unnecessary avoidable divorce
@@txtgyuu So if you really love someone you just deal with awful, incompatible sex... No matter how much you love someone won't change if you're both submissive or both dominant or if one person has a much higher sex drive.
why would you need to know someone by kissing? it’s not like after a french kiss suddenly you know which hospital they were born at, how many strands of hair they have, no. it’s weird
So basically it’s an arranged marriage where multiple people are involved and marriage is then planned with everyone’s consent. In my religion many follow arranged marriage because they think it’s safe if something goes wrong in future.. people who were present for this type of marriage may support bride or groom in case of issues
What a beautiful way to explain arrange and force marriage
my only worry would be compatibility in the bedroom. ie learning what eachother likes and dislikes, kinks, limits, etc
Jesus that sounds like hell
Sounds so much better than dating.
First! Btw love ur videos!!
Subhan Allah ..
Well explained