Enneagram 4: Healing From Envy & Jealousy

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 28

  • @FairyOfSomething
    @FairyOfSomething 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I had a lot of trouble with envy when I was a child. When my best friend would have a toy I admired I would want to buy it too. Or if she got a better grade in school I would be upset, but rarely vocalize it because when I did I was shamed for my way of thinking. So I grew up frustrated with myself, wondering why I was like this and wanting to 'purify' myself from that emotion.
    I think now I manage it better, I feel envious sometimes, but not in a spiteful way. I don't think that others don't deserve what I long for (as much) anymore. Sometimes I slip back into this, but its rarely the case. Most of the times if I see others accomplish what I want, I see it as a motivator that it is possible to reach this far. I am feeling happy for them and pull drive and motivation from it to do better myself.

    • @ErikThor
      @ErikThor  6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Envy I believe is when we project our own insecurities outwardly, or we have guilt, which is when we project others failures inwardly (it is my fault they failed or that they are unhappy), its such different emotions, well, the same emotion felt in a different place. I have always been more controlled by guilt than envy.

  • @TheBlackFenceCat
    @TheBlackFenceCat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    My dream's stolen by those I idolize, that's envy. More people should open up about feeling it. It's not an alien emotion, no matter how it is judged by the populace. Anyway, as a 4w5 I appreciate this video. Thank you for making it. Have a great day. Peace.

  • @StephanieDouglassMusic
    @StephanieDouglassMusic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The anxiety that I would be too strange to be valid, that's the story of my life. I'm a 4w3, at least that's what I've been told. I don't know that envy has been such a prominent streak in my paintbrush. But I also think that I have very supportive parents who recognized early on that I would be able to find my own way. They did what they could to nurture that quality.

  • @JonasAnandaKristiansson
    @JonasAnandaKristiansson 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    "I'm planning a new series based on healing and growing past negative emotions."
    Best idea ever! Nice that you are implementing it. This is my "main thing" right now, and since a while back! :)

  • @charlesjohnson7222
    @charlesjohnson7222 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I appreciate the honest and positive approach you take.

  • @JonasAnandaKristiansson
    @JonasAnandaKristiansson 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Legenden!!!

  • @oscarl.3563
    @oscarl.3563 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm a man getting close to my thirties, I'm swedish, I type myself an INFJ and 9w1 so you'd think that I would have a lot in common with Erik and yet we're so very different.
    4s are also very different from one another walking different paths in life. But there is something that no one tells us and that holds true for everyone and that is that we have to fight for our mental health every day. You stop doing whatever it is that you do to stay sane and you'll go plummeting down the health levels; envy, depression, fantasies and all that stuff.

    • @ErikThor
      @ErikThor  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I dont know if thats true, maybe we are more alike than we know yet. Id have to sit down with you for a cup of coffee to know, I think.

    • @JonasAnandaKristiansson
      @JonasAnandaKristiansson 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Men tjena Oscar! Ännu en svensk INFJ, alltid lika.. förvånande :)

    • @oscarl.3563
      @oscarl.3563 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Trevligt, trevligt :-). Har du slitit dig ifrån BOOMs kanal? Du gör väl som jag och surfar omkring och letar efter allt spännande som du kan hitta...

  • @katherandefy
    @katherandefy 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    :O geez I might have to really think this thru a whole lot more. Gobsmacking ... I mean not a new concept but am reallllly rethinking my core type hmm. This could be an important find.

  • @mmprettypistol
    @mmprettypistol 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    THE WIZARD OF OZ

  • @oscarl.3563
    @oscarl.3563 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    8s are perhaps, likely more individualistic than 4s.
    People are never equals. They are either better or worse off than others and perform differently. Did you ever see a group of marathon runners finish at the same time? Some humans are quality human beings, most are not, some run fast or far others can not.
    Envy and type 4 has little to nothing to do with racism or sexism. They can be elitistic but what is wrong with prefering an elite group to a mediocre group? To try and fit into it? Speaking in general it's common sense to prefer quality company unless for some reason anyone would do.
    People are not racists because they are jealous or envious. Being careful with strangers is normal and healthy, since they pose a risk. Seeing and acknowledging differences between people is also normal. Today everything is called racism or sexism when such things are quite rare.
    You're off the mark connecting four envy to these things.
    It would be more honest to call Olof Palme a politician or a socialist. If you wake up to the fact that things are unjust and needs to change when immigrants or women get your job or spot due to quotas that is not racism or sexism but intelligence. The discrimination is on behalf of the politicians and people that have introduced those quotas.
    I enjoy sources on personality theory. Thanks for providing. I relate most to the INFJ _visionary_ of the INFJ subtypes that you have published on your site.

    • @ErikThor
      @ErikThor  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for being able to separate politics with psychology! I am talking about the psychology of someone that harbors resentful views towards different groups in society, racism was an example, I dont have a problem with the average liberal or conservative who disagrees with quotas, and I dont think that is racist or sexist.

    • @oscarl.3563
      @oscarl.3563 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Now that I think about it I do harbor resentment towards different groups including immigrants and women. It has nothing to do with envy, although I'm not type 4, and more to do with violence and rape & the destruction of society and meaning that come with feminism. It's a loss of harmony and a break-down of order or just '_chaos_' for short.
      I find myself more and more appalled. The barrier that separates me from true racism or sexism has lost it's importance. I dislike these people and isolate myself from them already. Respect has been lost, although the individual can slip through the mesh I discriminate many groups already and that's not going to go away.
      Well, that's that. I apologize for giving you a hard time. Last mention are you familiar with the work of objective personality? They have 32 versions of every MBTI type. Their research shows that 50% of people of any type have their second and third functions swapped. I find that very interesting, that seems to be the case with me making me a very NT-like INFJ. It must be the main reason why I can't relate to the NFs(or to you!).

    • @ErikThor
      @ErikThor  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually I am typed as an ENTP in DaveSuperPowers model with a NeTi subtype. Very diff!

    • @oscarl.3563
      @oscarl.3563 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ne first or second is a plausible fit for you now that you mention it. Your eyes move around a lot in an Ne-Si fashion. There is a softness to them. You have gathered many ideas and you spread them along.
      I believe that you use Ne. Ne-dom seems likely.

    • @ErikThor
      @ErikThor  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have not gathered a lot of ideas, I have developed my own ideas and concepts, and conceptualisation is primary INXX. I struggle to take in and process new information.

  • @dystopia-incognito
    @dystopia-incognito 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Eat the rich" is a good example of envy. Don't fall into this trap.
    Also, it's never fair if someone gets a job just because they're a certain sex (this goes both ways) the most capable person deserves the job. If you want it, work hard.

    • @alanamontero4743
      @alanamontero4743 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's not a good example because it depends very much on the meaning/ideology behind it. If you look at the historical origins of the phrase, it had very little to do with envy.

  • @mmprettypistol
    @mmprettypistol 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    THE WIZARD OF OZ