What a brave woman to take the hot seat so that we can all learn. This was a really well explained and perfectly illustrated example of eliciting values. Thank you!
I completely agree with you @CalmLisa. So brave of her. And so magnanimous of Damon to demonstrate and share something so valuable. I just thoroughly enjoyed this demonstration.
This was amazing. I had an Aha moment when you asked if their top values were a solid quality of who they were! This really makes you look inside first! And at the end when you said...you become the person that you value...life changing! Thankyou x
Gosh, you really stump people fast! 8:03 In a positive way of course. Getting people to sit with why they want love & connection, really sitting with it. People don't spend their time refining their "why" that often.
Hi Damon, I really enjoyed this video. I am in the process of completing a coaching course, and it was brought to my attention that one of the founders of the course had training in NLP. It explained so much about the verbiage she used in her videos. Very powerful information, very effective. There’s no question in my mind that this will advance my ability to be a much more effective coach than I know that I already am. This journey is going to help me move out of a career that I have been in for 30 years… Medicine. I am exhausted, drained, and have no balance in my life. And, this existed before COVID. Life coaching resonates with me so much! And because of my western training and eastern beliefs, I feel that I have the whole package that will make me successful. I again will be able to help people, and I don’t feel like I am doing that anymore. thank you so much for making this information readily available. I am looking forward to watching your future videos!
@@DamonCart Good morning! I would be very interested in finding out about your program. I have been doing some research online, and the program that has the most extensive description was the one run by iNLP Center. I’m curious what makes your program different from theirs. Also, after I watched one of your videos last night, I signed up for a self optimization phone call for this Wednesday night. 😊 Gina
@@ginajustis2958 You'll find out everything you need in the call. We focus on using NLP to transform at the identity level using the most powerful NLP model.
This was very educational and powerful. It reminded me of the CBT technique, "laddering," whereby you question why certain thoughts are so painful in order to get to your core values and fears. Thank you for teaching!
Thanks , Damon for this amazing video, it is a vary powerful tool, you even lay out the basic structure of the self-concept program , you made even more clear to me what is about, by the way I joined the program last month, looking forward to the journey, !!!!
I just tried it on myself and it turns out I value the attributes that I don’t think I have. Things like truthfulness, power, freedom, authenticity and wealth I value even though I don’t possess any of these qualities right now. I put charitableness, creativity, faith and knowledge lower down even though I think I do have these qualities. I was also very sure of my answers. This exercise has shown me a lot about myself ahah.
Good that you understand yourself better. Also, when you don't believe you possess qualities that you value, this will effect your self-esteem so you want to install those qualities so that they are certain and solid. I did a video on values that are actually traps. Power is a value you don't want to pursue because it implies power over others. Try empowered. It's much healthier. There's nothing wrong with having faith but as a value and a quality it will likely create more problems than it solves so be careful with that one as well.
Damon just listened to you explaining your values to the lady in the video Know it makes perfect sense to me know Why you come across to be a perfect Teacher Making it all understanable in stead of really hard to understand ITS like those teachers are playing hard to get I have found that in many Thank you I watch you to make up for what the tad James people like to teach and hide at the same time
First let me say I love your channel and content, thank you for this amazing work. As I watched and considered these values in my life I found myself thinking about,or even frustrated on some level that many of these are either dependent on the other or others. So I almost feel like I need to formulate which are the essentials ie can one have love or happiness or ANY of the others without authenticity? So I guess what I am trying to wrap my head around is there's a lot of ambiguity when it comes to ranking them. I would love to hear where this would lead with this client or taking her through the process of cementing the others with the certainty of her high regard for curiosity.
One of the points of the values elicitation exercise is to connect you with your values so that you understand that fulfilling them is not dependent on anyone else. You're the source of the values. When you realize this, you will feel empowered because you're not limited and you don't have to wait. You can fulfill your values now. As far as the hierarchy goes, make sure you're referencing the context. For example, freedom, joy, and passion are values that show up in every context of my life. But they're ranked differently from context to context. In my career, freedom is my highest value. In my marriage, freedom is important, but it's not my highest value. Make sure when you're doing the hierarchy that you're referencing the specific context in which you elicited the values.
Thank you Damon, big fan and NLP MP here. What would happen in the next lesson? Do you have a demo or a link to a video that explains? And also, do you do the wheel of life as a first coaching session?
From here we go about transforming each of her values into certain and solid qualities of who she is. The only thing better than aligning with your values is becoming your values. Here's an example of one of my students transforming an unwanted quality into a positive quality in one session with a client. th-cam.com/video/HfcMReelfKA/w-d-xo.html
If you go to my channel and search the word 'demo' several videos will pop up. I don't have a video demonstration focused solely on mapping across but since mapping across is used often in NLP processes you will see me use it in some of the demos I've done.
A value is a generalization about an experience that is important to you. Let's say you value kindness. Kindness is a value to you, which means that you find acts of kindness important; being kind to others, acknowledging when someone does something kind, etc. Criteria is how you know when you're experiencing the value, which will be different for different people. Criteria is the evidence of the value in sensory based information meaning when you are experiencing the value of kindness, what do you see, hear, and feel (touch and proprioception, not emotions and evaluations), that let's you know you're experiencing the value of kindness? You will most likely resort to memories you have (which is sensory based representations stored in your nervous system) that you categorize as kindness to let you know how you know when you're experiencing kindness.
I can give you an answer but it's only a summary of what will probably take some in depth work on yourself. Transform lovable into a certain and solid quality. This means you need to elicit the structure of a belief about you are certain of and that you like about yourself. When you know that structure (which is what I teach, The Self-Concept Model created by Steve Andreas), you can map in lovable experiences you've had so that you feel just as certain about being lovable as you do the certain quality in which you elicited the structure of. Worthy is not a quality. It's belief based on an illusion, that somehow your worth can be measured. It can't. There's no instrument that can objectively measure anyone's worth. So most likely you're comparing yourself to others to try to determine it, which will just make the problem worse. When you know your highest values and you transform them into certain and solid qualities, the self-worth delusion will dissolve and you'll wonder how you were ever able to believe in such a thing to begin with. If you want to get started on this path, you can go to selfconcept.com
- what do you want ? -So what’s important about x , what would x allow you to do, what’s important about feeling x , what does it do for you to have x , jezz it feels repetitive and most people won’t have the words to express it because if they did they would know it already. Most people would probably feel annoyed and maybe shut off, unless they were paying for some session.
Hey Damon! That’s a fabulous demonstration! I’ve a question, if the client keep on revolving around 2-3 values and can’t come up with another ones then how to elicit more values? For ex- If they said they’ll feel happy and I ask ‘What’s important about happiness to you’ They replied they will be satisfied then again asked ‘What will having more satisfaction do for you?’ They said it will make them happy! Basically the point is they keep on revolving around 2-3 values and can’t able to think of more answers! Then in that situation, how can you break this pattern and elicit more of their values?
That's usually an indication that you've elicited all of their highest level values. You only need 3 to 5 high level values. Values like peace, joy, happiness, freedom are examples of high level values. They are very broad generalized experiences. Fun, security, and comfort are examples of low level values. They're more specific and more limited in scope. If someone got stuck on these values I would keep asking for more, because there's definitely more.
Damon, hello. I've just enjoyed this again for the umpteenth time. I pick up something new every time. This last viewing triggered a question: When the client has only one (or none) of their top five values experienced as certain, are the elicited values for that context 100% accurate? If so, I'd love to know the details. And what if the top five values are all felt as certain? Do you explore the structure of each value to discern if they all share the same structure, or find the value with the most "powerful" structure? Thanks, as always, for your kindness in responding to these questions! - Arch
What do you mean by accurate? If you're asking do they truly value them, if the process of elicitation is done well, yes they're accurate. Most people are not living their highest values as certain and solid qualities of who they are. This is why most people doubt themselves, experience low self-worth and low self-esteem, and it's why most people are not fulfilling their potential. When people are not certain about most of their highest values as qualities of who they are, you've just identified the problem and exactly where to start working on it. If a person's top 5 values feel certain as qualities of who they are either they're deceiving themselves or they're already quite fulfilled and living their potential. It's usually the former, not the latter.
this is one of the single most astounding pieces of work i have ever witnessed, i have my session booked in a couple of days and finally, after almost 60 years of feeling thwarted, unclear etc, i am truly excited. one question ... how do you make these "stick" if you are used to living within a high level of inner turmoil? is it that in realising the values the turmoil reduces or is it "simply" (ahaha) a matter of keeping this foremost in your mind?
Thank you. Your values are always there regardless of turmoil. However, turmoil, like a legitimate threat coming your way will suddenly jump to top of the hierarchy of things you need to deal with as it should. We all need to feel a certain level of clarity and security in order to fulfill our highest values. But often times our feelings of being unsafe have little to do with actual threats, which is why clarity is so important. From there, I use Steve Andreas' Self-Concept Model to install your values as qualities of your identity so they become a part of you. This is a transformation. There's no going back at that point. You don't have to practice it or chase it. It becomes who you are.
When you are in a coaching session with someone, do you take notes? Or, do you just focus on the person and go with the flow? How do you remember everything they say and the modalities? Do you record your sessions? Thanks!
I do take notes. In this demo I wrote down her values as I heard her say them. Then I asked her questions so I could rank them in order of importance so I rewrote the values in their order of importance. From there I asked her if she was each value as a solid and certain quality of her identity. I recorder her responses so I would know which qualities needed to be transformed. I don't record the sessions but if the client wants to record them I allow it.
Hi Damon. I was studing with Steve his PTSd program and his self concept work. I did also study Core transformation. Now i came across your videos and i like how you start about finding the qualities to work with by eliciting the values. I was wondering if you were thinking about Connireas Core transformation process which can take you in really deap “high” states of beeing by kind of questions which goes even deeper than the values elicitation. Maybe my question is if you have some thoughts about it or some experience how to maybe connect those two “processes”. Both are working kind of on different levels and both are for me the TOP processes for change. Core transformation is like going a step further above the self. And i feel there is importance of first ”cleaning “ the self concept and after go even deeper. How do you thing of it? I am psychoterapist and erffectivness is also very important in my work with my clients- that is why i came across this super powerfull techniques I love to use. And i am now happy i found you and we can talk :)
Core Transformation was what inspired me to incorporate a strong values elicitation to identify my highest values in order to transform them into qualities. It worked extraordinarily well. Steve emphasized using qualities you value, but that's about the extent of what he would teach when he taught Self-Concept. When I showed him how I had incorporated values elicitation into the Self-Concept model he was happy about it. Core Transformation is a great model but I prefer the Self-Concept Model. CT is a states based model. Though it is effective in stabilizing deep states, states still come and go. With Self-Concept model, instead of using states, you use qualities. Qualities of self are the most powerful generalizations you make. When you transform those, you transform the self-concept. The self-concept is the single most powerful generalization you make. So instead of depending on a state, you become what you value. Who you are doesn't come and go like states do. In my opinion there is nothing more powerful and stable than a quality of identity.
Thank you very much for your time and answer. Amazing that you could speak about it with steve and he liked your points with adding the values ellicitation. I kind of thing this as well. I am using CT on myself with many parts and start to take it like some meditation practise i was a but dissapointed with CT on myself. With many of my clients it has just worked for their issue perfectly!! Self concept is for me also like amazing tool because if you can change who you think you are !! It is so exciting!! There is another point thou where my thoughts are going - and it is more connected to wholness work and nonduality concepts. That
Yes, I give out a PDF on how to do it in some of my videos. Unfortunately I can't remember exactly which videos they are. It will be in the description. Check a few of my videos and you'll find it.
I am still not understanding the actual process of discovering and creating the Hierarchy of values so that I will know the strongest to the weakest values and which I should express the most.
Thank you so much for more details on value elicitation... Can Contribution, consciousness, growth, harmony be values? How to understand difference between feelings after satisfying values and values itself.. As you said Confidence can not be value. Similarly Fearless will be value at its feeling which will come after satisfying higher value?
You're welcome. Yes, anything that you value is technically a value. However, consciousness is really vague as a value. It's here. We all have it. We don't know what it's like to not have consciousness so it's very general. What do you value about consciousness? You can value confidence, so technically it can be a value but focusing on confidence as a value won't get you far because confidence is the result of fulfilling your values. You want to access your values so you can transform them into qualities of your identity that you're certain about. Then the confidence will be there automatically. Fearlessness has a few problems. First of all it's a negation. It only tells you one thing, that fear is not present. It doesn't give you the positive, what you actually want. So what do you want instead of fear?
@@DamonCart when I'm In the state of consciousness or awareness I become more productive, more grounded, more powerful or efficient.. that's why I feel I value Consciousness.. And Instead of fear, I'll give preference to Clarity... because I feel, if I have clarity then there is no question of fear..!
@@DamonCart Thanks for replying, I've been consuming a lot of your content over the past week, and I can't thank you enough for all the practical and quality stuff you put out absolutely for free. You're changing lives. Time to rewatch your 'values, qualities, and resources' video.
I listen to lots of your trainings as you have an exceptional ability to simplify things. I must say though, having a hearing problem, I found the background music VERY distracting and had to log off :(
How do you do value elicitation in Sales you don't have the time to ask so many deeper-level questions. The prospect will ask you what are you doing with me. This is weird 😊
You can definitely make this conversational and use it in sales. I did. I also used it with my wife when we were dating. She didn't know what I was doing until I told her a year later. When I used it in insurance, I would assess the clients liability exposures and possibly exposures that would require life insurance. Once I knew what they wanted to protect, I would say, "What's important to you about protecting your financial future?" And the values would start coming out. You have to be able to hear their values embedded in their sentences. It won't come out exactly as it does in this demonstration. It does take practice. Once you've elicited a few of their values like peace, happiness, etc., you say, "So what you're looking for in your insurance is peace of mind and being happy knowing everything is covered even if the worst case scenario happens." Of course they're going to agree to that. That's when I would say, "What's missing from your portfolio is (whatever policy fit for the client), and that will cover your exposure so you don't have to worry about it and you can feel at peace and be happy knowing it's not something you have to worry about anymore. Is that something you're interested in?" They will feel like you get them on a much deeper level. They will trust you and they will buy more often. Make sure you don't abuse this though.
Damon this elicitation was related to career do we need to elicit the values on other aspects as well like relationships ,health etc...? Or after finding the top values by using any aspect(like you used thriving business) and then we can add examples in database from different aspects/contexts of life Relationships,health, career...?
Elicit your values from all major contexts of your life. The values will be different and the hierarchy will be different from context to context. However, if you find certain values that keep showing up in all of your contexts, you'll know that these are the most powerful values for you. Take those and install them as qualities of who you are. When you do that, your life will change dramatically.
One thing that frustrates me about value elicitation is that it kinda makes you come up with a wish list and presupposes that you have the ability to make everything happen.
You missed something somewhere. Your values are not a wish list. Values are generalizations about experiences that are important to you. Your goals may be a wish list and for most people that's exactly what goals are, which is what frustrates people. The power of knowing your values is that once you know them, you can fulfill them immediately without waiting. If you value happiness, you can do something right now that makes you happy, something you enjoy. You don't have to wait until circumstances smile on you. If you value passion, do something you're passionate about. You don't have to wish for it. Revisit your understanding of values because the way you're thinking about it will cripple you.
THIS VIDEO HAS NOTHING TO DO WHAT SALES. WHY ARE YOU COMMENTING ABOUT SALES? WHY ARE YOU WRITING IN ALL CAPS? There are plenty of good sales techniques that are not NLP techniques and there are plenty of great sales people who haven't trained in NLP. But if you're a sales person, why would you not want to learn every tool available to you?
@@DamonCart I'm still watching this - watching it over and over. Coming up with values, but, like the lady, I'm getting 'caught' between 2 at a time. But I feel I'm getting there. Thank you for your videos. Before watching you, I felt lost, now things look slightly brighter. Thank you.
Check out this FREE Assessment and find out what are your core values!
www.selfconcept.com/?Jun3rd-2020YT&
What a brave woman to take the hot seat so that we can all learn. This was a really well explained and perfectly illustrated example of eliciting values. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I completely agree with you @CalmLisa. So brave of her. And so magnanimous of Damon to demonstrate and share something so valuable. I just thoroughly enjoyed this demonstration.
Fascinating. Really seemed similar to a universal desire for Being a good person who feels worthy
of this life.
This was amazing. I had an Aha moment when you asked if their top values were a solid quality of who they were! This really makes you look inside first! And at the end when you said...you become the person that you value...life changing! Thankyou x
Glad you enjoyed it.
Perfect timing for this video to pop up. I just read about eliciting values this morning, and wanted to see an example of it on a person.
This is the best video you’ve ever made. Absolutely amazing to see how this would all work.
Thank you.
Gosh, you really stump people fast! 8:03 In a positive way of course. Getting people to sit with why they want love & connection, really sitting with it. People don't spend their time refining their "why" that often.
Indeed
Brilliant, so incredibly helpful. What you do and share is priceless. Thank you. ❤
You're welcome. Thank you for the kind words.
Hi Damon, I really enjoyed this video. I am in the process of completing a coaching course, and it was brought to my attention that one of the founders of the course had training in NLP. It explained so much about the verbiage she used in her videos. Very powerful information, very effective. There’s no question in my mind that this will advance my ability to be a much more effective coach than I know that I already am.
This journey is going to help me move out of a career that I have been in for 30 years… Medicine. I am exhausted, drained, and have no balance in my life. And, this existed before COVID. Life coaching resonates with me so much! And because of my western training and eastern beliefs, I feel that I have the whole package that will make me successful. I again will be able to help people, and I don’t feel like I am doing that anymore.
thank you so much for making this information readily available. I am looking forward to watching your future videos!
Thank you for the kind words.
Let me know if you would like to train with us.
@@DamonCart Good morning!
I would be very interested in finding out about your program. I have been doing some research online, and the program that has the most extensive description was the one run by iNLP Center. I’m curious what makes your program different from theirs.
Also, after I watched one of your videos last night, I signed up for a self optimization phone call for this Wednesday night. 😊
Gina
@@ginajustis2958 You'll find out everything you need in the call. We focus on using NLP to transform at the identity level using the most powerful NLP model.
@@DamonCart Wonderful! I am really looking forward to the call!
This was very educational and powerful. It reminded me of the CBT technique, "laddering," whereby you question why certain thoughts are so painful in order to get to your core values and fears. Thank you for teaching!
You're welcome. Thank you for commenting.
Thank you for this! Love the process and can see how beneficial it is. I'm excited to put this into practice!
Go for it!
Thanks , Damon for this amazing video, it is a vary powerful tool, you even lay out the basic structure of the self-concept program , you made even more clear to me what is about, by the way I joined the program last month, looking forward to the journey, !!!!
Thank you and welcome! It will be quite the journey. Take it as far and as deep as you want. There's no finish line.
I just tried it on myself and it turns out I value the attributes that I don’t think I have. Things like truthfulness, power, freedom, authenticity and wealth I value even though I don’t possess any of these qualities right now. I put charitableness, creativity, faith and knowledge lower down even though I think I do have these qualities. I was also very sure of my answers. This exercise has shown me a lot about myself ahah.
Good that you understand yourself better. Also, when you don't believe you possess qualities that you value, this will effect your self-esteem so you want to install those qualities so that they are certain and solid.
I did a video on values that are actually traps. Power is a value you don't want to pursue because it implies power over others. Try empowered. It's much healthier.
There's nothing wrong with having faith but as a value and a quality it will likely create more problems than it solves so be careful with that one as well.
Thanks for this video. I am an NLP trainer, and find myself always getting stuck when I teach value elicitation. Thanks for clarifying it more for me!
Very welcome.
you become a person you value when you become your highest value..
Amazing! I love your content
Yes! Thank you!
Fascinating process. Thanks.
You're welcome
Damon just listened to you explaining your values to the lady in the video Know it makes perfect sense to me know Why you come across to be a perfect Teacher Making it all understanable in stead of really hard to understand ITS like those teachers are playing hard to get I have found that in many Thank you I watch you to make up for what the tad James people like to teach and hide at the same time
Thank you.
Just brilliant!!! Thank you so much for sharing this.🥰
You are welcome. Thank you for your comment.
Thank you. Love, love, love the demonstration videos. So powerful. 💜👌
You're very weclome.
Great demonstration! Thank you 🙏🏽 👍🏽👍🏽
You are welcome!
This is an amazing demo. Thankyou
You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed it.
I love it, very educational thanks Damon ! :)
My pleasure.
First let me say I love your channel and content, thank you for this amazing work. As I watched and considered these values in my life I found myself thinking about,or even frustrated on some level that many of these are either dependent on the other or others. So I almost feel like I need to formulate which are the essentials ie can one have love or happiness or ANY of the others without authenticity? So I guess what I am trying to wrap my head around is there's a lot of ambiguity when it comes to ranking them. I would love to hear where this would lead with this client or taking her through the process of cementing the others with the certainty of her high regard for curiosity.
One of the points of the values elicitation exercise is to connect you with your values so that you understand that fulfilling them is not dependent on anyone else. You're the source of the values. When you realize this, you will feel empowered because you're not limited and you don't have to wait. You can fulfill your values now. As far as the hierarchy goes, make sure you're referencing the context. For example, freedom, joy, and passion are values that show up in every context of my life. But they're ranked differently from context to context. In my career, freedom is my highest value. In my marriage, freedom is important, but it's not my highest value. Make sure when you're doing the hierarchy that you're referencing the specific context in which you elicited the values.
Replay- This video was refreshing! And I thank this lady for allowing us to be a witness to her vulnerability. She is a strong lady.. thank you.
Thank you - that was a very clear and useful demonstration 👌👍
Glad it was helpful.
Very useful questions and technique 👍🏻
Thank you.
Thank you Damon, big fan and NLP MP here. What would happen in the next lesson? Do you have a demo or a link to a video that explains? And also, do you do the wheel of life as a first coaching session?
From here we go about transforming each of her values into certain and solid qualities of who she is. The only thing better than aligning with your values is becoming your values. Here's an example of one of my students transforming an unwanted quality into a positive quality in one session with a client. th-cam.com/video/HfcMReelfKA/w-d-xo.html
@@DamonCart Thank you, looking forward to watching this
Insiring thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Powerful!! Thank you for sharing!
You are so welcome
Thank you damon for sharing 💕
You are so welcome
Very helpful demonstration. Much appreciated 😊. I wonder if you have a demo video with the map across... Let me know and thank you again 💪🙌
If you go to my channel and search the word 'demo' several videos will pop up. I don't have a video demonstration focused solely on mapping across but since mapping across is used often in NLP processes you will see me use it in some of the demos I've done.
Thank you... 💪👍. Really enjoy how explain the NLP topics
Please explain the difference between criteria and values ,thanks
A value is a generalization about an experience that is important to you. Let's say you value kindness. Kindness is a value to you, which means that you find acts of kindness important; being kind to others, acknowledging when someone does something kind, etc. Criteria is how you know when you're experiencing the value, which will be different for different people. Criteria is the evidence of the value in sensory based information meaning when you are experiencing the value of kindness, what do you see, hear, and feel (touch and proprioception, not emotions and evaluations), that let's you know you're experiencing the value of kindness? You will most likely resort to memories you have (which is sensory based representations stored in your nervous system) that you categorize as kindness to let you know how you know when you're experiencing kindness.
I only watched a couple of your videos and I'm just learning things. What NPL stand for?
NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming
Very nice demonstration Damon, do you have any videos about resistance ?
Yes I've done many. Here's one: th-cam.com/video/Zp54rCpmUcc/w-d-xo.html
Hi Damon ,, One of my values is love but with the certainty I answer I am not lovable so in this what we need to do? or I am not worthy
I can give you an answer but it's only a summary of what will probably take some in depth work on yourself. Transform lovable into a certain and solid quality. This means you need to elicit the structure of a belief about you are certain of and that you like about yourself. When you know that structure (which is what I teach, The Self-Concept Model created by Steve Andreas), you can map in lovable experiences you've had so that you feel just as certain about being lovable as you do the certain quality in which you elicited the structure of.
Worthy is not a quality. It's belief based on an illusion, that somehow your worth can be measured. It can't. There's no instrument that can objectively measure anyone's worth. So most likely you're comparing yourself to others to try to determine it, which will just make the problem worse. When you know your highest values and you transform them into certain and solid qualities, the self-worth delusion will dissolve and you'll wonder how you were ever able to believe in such a thing to begin with.
If you want to get started on this path, you can go to selfconcept.com
@@DamonCart Thank you very much
- what do you want ? -So what’s important about x , what would x allow you to do, what’s important about feeling x , what does it do for you to have x , jezz it feels repetitive and most people won’t have the words to express it because if they did they would know it already. Most people would probably feel annoyed and maybe shut off, unless they were paying for some session.
Paying for the session helps. Building rapport with the client first helps. Most people don't know what they want so you have to be persistent.
How do you install those qualities/values that the person is not certain or is ambiguous about?
That's what I teach and train people to do using my mentor, Steve Andreas', model the Self-Concept Model. To learn more you can go to selfconcept.com
Is it possible to book a sessions with you ,?
Yes. Go here: selfconcept.com/pages/work-with-damon?OnChannel&
Hey Damon! That’s a fabulous demonstration! I’ve a question, if the client keep on revolving around 2-3 values and can’t come up with another ones then how to elicit more values?
For ex- If they said they’ll feel happy and I ask ‘What’s important about happiness to you’ They replied they will be satisfied then again asked ‘What will having more satisfaction do for you?’ They said it will make them happy!
Basically the point is they keep on revolving around 2-3 values and can’t able to think of more answers! Then in that situation, how can you break this pattern and elicit more of their values?
That's usually an indication that you've elicited all of their highest level values. You only need 3 to 5 high level values. Values like peace, joy, happiness, freedom are examples of high level values. They are very broad generalized experiences.
Fun, security, and comfort are examples of low level values. They're more specific and more limited in scope. If someone got stuck on these values I would keep asking for more, because there's definitely more.
Damon, hello. I've just enjoyed this again for the umpteenth time. I pick up something new every time. This last viewing triggered a question: When the client has only one (or none) of their top five values experienced as certain, are the elicited values for that context 100% accurate? If so, I'd love to know the details.
And what if the top five values are all felt as certain? Do you explore the structure of each value to discern if they all share the same structure, or find the value with the most "powerful" structure?
Thanks, as always, for your kindness in responding to these questions!
- Arch
What do you mean by accurate?
If you're asking do they truly value them, if the process of elicitation is done well, yes they're accurate. Most people are not living their highest values as certain and solid qualities of who they are. This is why most people doubt themselves, experience low self-worth and low self-esteem, and it's why most people are not fulfilling their potential. When people are not certain about most of their highest values as qualities of who they are, you've just identified the problem and exactly where to start working on it.
If a person's top 5 values feel certain as qualities of who they are either they're deceiving themselves or they're already quite fulfilled and living their potential. It's usually the former, not the latter.
@@everykidsports You're welcome.
this is one of the single most astounding pieces of work i have ever witnessed, i have my session booked in a couple of days and finally, after almost 60 years of feeling thwarted, unclear etc, i am truly excited. one question ... how do you make these "stick" if you are used to living within a high level of inner turmoil? is it that in realising the values the turmoil reduces or is it "simply" (ahaha) a matter of keeping this foremost in your mind?
Thank you.
Your values are always there regardless of turmoil. However, turmoil, like a legitimate threat coming your way will suddenly jump to top of the hierarchy of things you need to deal with as it should. We all need to feel a certain level of clarity and security in order to fulfill our highest values. But often times our feelings of being unsafe have little to do with actual threats, which is why clarity is so important.
From there, I use Steve Andreas' Self-Concept Model to install your values as qualities of your identity so they become a part of you. This is a transformation. There's no going back at that point. You don't have to practice it or chase it. It becomes who you are.
When you are in a coaching session with someone, do you take notes? Or, do you just focus on the person and go with the flow? How do you remember everything they say and the modalities? Do you record your sessions? Thanks!
I do take notes. In this demo I wrote down her values as I heard her say them. Then I asked her questions so I could rank them in order of importance so I rewrote the values in their order of importance. From there I asked her if she was each value as a solid and certain quality of her identity. I recorder her responses so I would know which qualities needed to be transformed.
I don't record the sessions but if the client wants to record them I allow it.
@@DamonCart TY that helps! My initial instinct was that I would take notes.
Hi Damon. I was studing with Steve his PTSd program and his self concept work. I did also study Core transformation. Now i came across your videos and i like how you start about finding the qualities to work with by eliciting the values. I was wondering if you were thinking about Connireas Core transformation process which can take you in really deap “high” states of beeing by kind of questions which goes even deeper than the values elicitation. Maybe my question is if you have some thoughts about it or some experience how to maybe connect those two “processes”. Both are working kind of on different levels and both are for me the TOP processes for change. Core transformation is like going a step further above the self. And i feel there is importance of first ”cleaning “ the self concept and after go even deeper. How do you thing of it? I am psychoterapist and erffectivness is also very important in my work with my clients- that is why i came across this super powerfull techniques I love to use. And i am now happy i found you and we can talk :)
Core Transformation was what inspired me to incorporate a strong values elicitation to identify my highest values in order to transform them into qualities. It worked extraordinarily well. Steve emphasized using qualities you value, but that's about the extent of what he would teach when he taught Self-Concept. When I showed him how I had incorporated values elicitation into the Self-Concept model he was happy about it. Core Transformation is a great model but I prefer the Self-Concept Model. CT is a states based model. Though it is effective in stabilizing deep states, states still come and go. With Self-Concept model, instead of using states, you use qualities. Qualities of self are the most powerful generalizations you make. When you transform those, you transform the self-concept. The self-concept is the single most powerful generalization you make. So instead of depending on a state, you become what you value. Who you are doesn't come and go like states do. In my opinion there is nothing more powerful and stable than a quality of identity.
Thank you very much for your time and answer. Amazing that you could speak about it with steve and he liked your points with adding the values ellicitation. I kind of thing this as well. I am using CT on myself with many parts and start to take it like some meditation practise i was a but dissapointed with CT on myself. With many of my clients it has just worked for their issue perfectly!! Self concept is for me also like amazing tool because if you can change who you think you are !! It is so exciting!! There is another point thou where my thoughts are going - and it is more connected to wholness work and nonduality concepts. That
And i really enjoy your way of explaining things in your videos. Thank you
@@luciaklim6897 You're welcome.
Damon is there a way that i can learn this value demonstration by myself?
Yes, I give out a PDF on how to do it in some of my videos. Unfortunately I can't remember exactly which videos they are. It will be in the description. Check a few of my videos and you'll find it.
@@DamonCart thanks so much💞💞
Excelleent
Thank you.
I am still not understanding the actual process of discovering and creating the Hierarchy of values so that I will know the strongest to the weakest values and which I should express the most.
Here's an in-depth training on the entire values elicitation process:
th-cam.com/video/jFiB18Tc4JA/w-d-xo.html
@@DamonCart , thank you very much.
Purpose
Thank you so much for more details on value elicitation...
Can Contribution, consciousness, growth, harmony be values?
How to understand difference between feelings after satisfying values and values itself..
As you said Confidence can not be value.
Similarly Fearless will be value at its feeling which will come after satisfying higher value?
You're welcome. Yes, anything that you value is technically a value. However, consciousness is really vague as a value. It's here. We all have it. We don't know what it's like to not have consciousness so it's very general. What do you value about consciousness? You can value confidence, so technically it can be a value but focusing on confidence as a value won't get you far because confidence is the result of fulfilling your values. You want to access your values so you can transform them into qualities of your identity that you're certain about. Then the confidence will be there automatically. Fearlessness has a few problems. First of all it's a negation. It only tells you one thing, that fear is not present. It doesn't give you the positive, what you actually want. So what do you want instead of fear?
@@DamonCart when I'm In the state of consciousness or awareness I become more productive, more grounded, more powerful or efficient.. that's why I feel I value Consciousness..
And Instead of fear, I'll give preference to Clarity... because I feel, if I have clarity then there is no question of fear..!
Is "determination" a high quality value?
I would say it's midlevel. It's a great quality btw to strengthen in yourself.
@@DamonCart Thanks for replying, I've been consuming a lot of your content over the past week, and I can't thank you enough for all the practical and quality stuff you put out absolutely for free. You're changing lives. Time to rewatch your 'values, qualities, and resources' video.
@@filipearaujo6821 you're welcome and thank you for commenting. Appreciation is always welcome.
But what does integrity mean to her? Many people have different understandings of some of these qualities.
Since this is a long video, I'll need you to provide a time stamp for something you want me to reply to within the video.
I listen to lots of your trainings as you have an exceptional ability to simplify things.
I must say though, having a hearing problem, I found the background music VERY distracting and had to log off :(
Thank you for the kind words. Perhaps turn the sound really low and turn the captions on. That should help.
How do you do value elicitation in Sales you don't have the time to ask so many deeper-level questions. The prospect will ask you what are you doing with me. This is weird 😊
You can definitely make this conversational and use it in sales. I did. I also used it with my wife when we were dating. She didn't know what I was doing until I told her a year later. When I used it in insurance, I would assess the clients liability exposures and possibly exposures that would require life insurance. Once I knew what they wanted to protect, I would say, "What's important to you about protecting your financial future?" And the values would start coming out. You have to be able to hear their values embedded in their sentences. It won't come out exactly as it does in this demonstration. It does take practice. Once you've elicited a few of their values like peace, happiness, etc., you say, "So what you're looking for in your insurance is peace of mind and being happy knowing everything is covered even if the worst case scenario happens." Of course they're going to agree to that. That's when I would say, "What's missing from your portfolio is (whatever policy fit for the client), and that will cover your exposure so you don't have to worry about it and you can feel at peace and be happy knowing it's not something you have to worry about anymore. Is that something you're interested in?" They will feel like you get them on a much deeper level. They will trust you and they will buy more often. Make sure you don't abuse this though.
@@DamonCartThank you, Damon, that was helpful. No abuse that is unethical and doesn't align with my values.
The cause of suffering 29:48-30:05
Yes
I noticrd
Damon this elicitation was related to career do we need to elicit the values on other aspects as well like relationships ,health etc...? Or after finding the top values by using any aspect(like you used thriving business) and then we can add examples in database from different aspects/contexts of life Relationships,health, career...?
Elicit your values from all major contexts of your life. The values will be different and the hierarchy will be different from context to context. However, if you find certain values that keep showing up in all of your contexts, you'll know that these are the most powerful values for you. Take those and install them as qualities of who you are. When you do that, your life will change dramatically.
@@DamonCart Thankyou so much!❤️
Excellent demo....nice to stay out of content!
Thank you
One thing that frustrates me about value elicitation is that it kinda makes you come up with a wish list and presupposes that you have the ability to make everything happen.
You missed something somewhere.
Your values are not a wish list. Values are generalizations about experiences that are important to you. Your goals may be a wish list and for most people that's exactly what goals are, which is what frustrates people.
The power of knowing your values is that once you know them, you can fulfill them immediately without waiting. If you value happiness, you can do something right now that makes you happy, something you enjoy. You don't have to wait until circumstances smile on you. If you value passion, do something you're passionate about. You don't have to wish for it.
Revisit your understanding of values because the way you're thinking about it will cripple you.
YOU DO NOT NEED NLP FOR SELLING, OR IN ANY TYPE OF SELLING FYI! READ SALES BOOKS !
THIS VIDEO HAS NOTHING TO DO WHAT SALES.
WHY ARE YOU COMMENTING ABOUT SALES?
WHY ARE YOU WRITING IN ALL CAPS?
There are plenty of good sales techniques that are not NLP techniques and there are plenty of great sales people who haven't trained in NLP. But if you're a sales person, why would you not want to learn every tool available to you?
linkalways goes nowwhere
The links work. I just tested them. You can email support@selfconcept.com if you need help accessing something.
That's actually what MOST of my definitive replies would be to all of these questions: "Uumm...."
Start coming up with answers.
@@DamonCart I'm still watching this - watching it over and over. Coming up with values, but, like the lady, I'm getting 'caught' between 2 at a time. But I feel I'm getting there. Thank you for your videos. Before watching you, I felt lost, now things look slightly brighter. Thank you.
@@JohnM... you're welcome.