Comparing American and Chinese Parents

I'm Mario Ritter with the VOA Special English Education Report, from voaspecialenglish.com | / voalearningenglish
Some American parents might think their children need better educations to compete with China and other countries. But how much do the parents themselves need to change? A new book called "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua has caused a debate about cultural differences in parenting. Ms. Chua is a professor at the Yale Law School in New Haven, Connecticut, and the mother of two daughters. She was raised in the American Midwest by immigrant Chinese parents. In the Chinese culture, the tiger represents strength and power. In her book, Ms. Chua writes about how she demanded excellence from her daughters. For example, she threatened to burn her daughter's stuffed animals unless she played a piece of music perfectly. She would insult her daughters if they failed to meet her expectations. Ms. Chua says she had a clear list of what her daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were not permitted to do. They could not attend a sleepover, have a play date, watch TV or play computer games, be in a school play or get any grade less than an A.Many people have criticized Amy Chua. Some say her parenting methods were abusive. She even admits that her husband, who is not Chinese, sometimes objected to her parenting style. But she says that was the way her parents raised her and her three sisters. Ms. Chua makes fun of her own extreme style of parenting. She says she eased some of the pressure after her younger daughter rebelled and shouted "I hate my life! I hate you!" Ms. Chua says she decided to retreat when it seemed like there was a risk that she might lose her daughter. But she also says American parents often have low expectations of their children's abilities.She says: "One of the biggest differences I see between Western and Chinese parents is that Chinese parents assume strength rather than fragility." Stacy DeBroff has written four books on parenting. She says the debate over Ms. Chua's book has to do with two questions. What does it mean to be a successful parent, and what does it mean to be a successful child?Ms. DeBroff says Amy Chua's parenting style is not limited to Chinese families. She says it represents a traditional way of parenting among immigrants seeking a better future for their children. But she also sees a risk. When children have no time to be social or to follow their own interests, they might not develop other skills that they need to succeed in life. Stacey DeBroff advises parents to develop their own style of parenting and not just repeat the way they were raised. And that's the VOA Special English Education Report. What are your thoughts about parenting styles and cultural differences? Tell us at voaspecialenglish.com or on Facebook at VOA Learning English. For VOA Special English, I'm Mario Ritter.
(Adapted from a radio program broadcast 17Feb2011)

[@thuysinh999]

Thanks so much to VOA special English...

[@xiaokunyang7204]

As this kind of description, most of the kids without an A can't enjoy their childhood? That's not true.

[@matinanita5937]

thz so mux for voa program this is a very useful program for me n other students who want to improve their english especially i can pronounce many words better than before

[@naderromih9220]

One advice I learnt from my teachers is to follow amiable ,enjoyable means to reach my goal .

[@chanyuthsok4549]

Ta more for Lessons I am learning to bring bright future and to improve English by VOA special English. Hope on Earth strive to learn it.

[@patrickchan8237]

...thanks VOA.

[@natividade6774]

Obrigado por tudo

[@DJBuckCallYo]

What about American Chinese parents?

[@kalsbcjdflajlfge]

it just takes longer to write symbols for china, like trying to write a research paper, or doing 100 algebra math problems in chinese takes forever

[@carlosferreira2368]

I think parents must let the children follow their destiny!

[@TikeaChi]

Thanks!...

[@thanhtrinh2590]

😂

[@creativityzero9407]

Ms. Chua isn't totally wrong. She obliges her children to do everything because she knows they're capable, that they can perform any activity professionally and with excellence. However, people, in geral, need time to have fun and make fun of suffering of her own style won't solve this problem. When parents don't require any expectation, it sounds like they don't mind, they know you're a loser. My parents don't seem expect that much of me, because it's exactly what Ms. Chua said. I think that to be tough on your children and on their objectives is imperative. Though, i also find time off tiring activities important.

[@TheRhythmicdreams]

People have many different ways to handle things and and many different parenting skills but it's all up to the parent the parent inthe VOA miss chua had very high expectation for her children and realized she was being to harse on the children so brang it a step lower for the reason of losing her child many people have points of views of handling things and hers is different so different you guys hate it

[@thitieppham588]

thanks!:))

[@BostonBruinsOWN]

my dads white and my moms chinese. my dad works in a mailroom and is well dumb and my mom does everything

[@JohnMsh]

YUU DOCTOR YET SON?
NUU?? CUME BAKK WHEN YUU DOCTOR!

[@thanhtrinh2590]

😂

[@thanhtrinh2590]

Eeeeee😂