I'm British and worked in Minnesota for a year or so. One of the first questions I was asked, when meeting someone for the first time, was, "What Church do you belong to?". My answer of, "I don't belong to any Church," typically resulted in a "Does not compute" expression, and silence, before they politely moved to talk with a fellow God-Botherer. Also .... That sticky-out bit, on a Baseball Cap, is called a "Peak" and it goes at the front (especially if you are older than 12).
If you want to be really polite, say "May I have.."..not "Can I have." Never forget asking, " May I have .." in a restaurant in Rome. The waiter stopped and thanked me, saying that it was so lovely to hear. My partner and I had a lovely attentive waiter as a result. Politeness matters.
@@AndreiTupolevI would be digging my own grave very shortly afterward if I dared to say “Can I get…” in earshot of my Mum (and I’m an adult!) It was drilled into me as a child that you say “Excuse me, please may I have…?” and upon receiving either an answer or the item “Thank you very much!” When I went to somebody’s house, even if they just invited me in for two minutes (say to wait for a friend to get ready to go out with me when I was a teen), I would say “Thank you for having me!” before I left. It’s just polite to thank them for letting me into their space!
One thing I've noticed Americans doing a lot more than us British people is talking while they chew their food, and I'll be honest, it's quite unpleasant.
Their table manners are dire! Too much food in their mouths in one go; chewing with their mouths open; not chewing enough; talking with their mouths full; the whole gamut! Oh and then there’s gum!!!!
The wearing a hat when eating indoors is considered rude in the UK . It is the classic tell for an American. Also wearing a hat indoors. Why wear a hat indoors. A hat is outer wear.
As a U.K. person who worked in many many pubs, we were told to never take plates away until everyone at the table has finished. Otherwise it makes those who are still eating feel rushed if waiting staff start taking plates away. But annoyingly this has crept in in other EU countries because American tourists.
American living in the UK here. I worked in many restaurants in the US. I would never clear a plate from a table before everyone finished unless asked to do so, which does happen. However I think you see it in more casual establishments rather than fine dining Edit to add: a good waitperson would also never put the bill on the table after serving the meal, I’d sell you something nice for dessert. You’d never see it done in a nice restaurant.
As a Brit, I was taught from and early age to put the knife and fork together when you had finished eating - also never ever, ever, put the knife in your mouth.
@@user-nu6wm8tx1y no knife in your mouth started as a safety measure, before forks the knife was used to put food in your mouth, but they weren't cutlery, they were more double edged daggers
I came over here to Australia as a teenager and was hired as a waitress in a small cafe. I was shocked to see people with their elbows on the table, talking with their mouth full, and not putting their knife and fork together after eating, some would even smoke after a meal and stub their cigarette out on the plate!!
I'm an American who's never been to Britain, but I can honestly say that NOT saying please or excuse me, or the like, to me is being incredibly rude. I have worked in retail, and a customer who used the pleasantries would get a much better response from me than one who just flat out asked the question.
About Americans being loud: last week I was travelling by train from where I live to Barcelona. The train was fairly crowded, not packed, but certainly lots of people. I would not say Spaniards are a quiet lot by any means, but the only voices that could be heard on the train were those of 4 American guys wowing and marvelling at our public transportation system.
I'm visiting the UK right now. Let me tell you...there are LOUD Brits in pubs. Usually the younger folks. Not saying anything wrong with it, just noticeable
@@suedworshak5333 - To be fair to us here, Sue - usually the only places where we could vent our complaints, stresses, and frustrations of the day itself, or week freely out aloud after a few drinks, were in pubs, or at home. Even at football matches, etc - while Nightclubs were possible, too, simply because no one could hear you over the blasting music . . . lol . . .
as an englishman married to an american, i have to admit the cultural differences made our relationship very hard at the beginning. but i have always lived by the motto of manners maketh the man.
Hi Tayler! And, I might add, a lady! Manners in the US can scarcely be found. At one time we were taught at home and school good manners, but that has slid into an abyss never to be seen again, I'm afraid. Younger people would be so much happier if they were taught to be polite (kinder) to one another and manners in general.
I'm in the UK and can't stand a child with no manners 🙄 That is not their fault, it shows how they weren't taught. I brought our two children up with my husband to always be polite and they picked it up straightway. It is something that teachers and other parents notice and I'm hoping they will do well in the workplace!
Same with me and my husband, I’m Italian and he’s British - 24 years later and there are still differences but mainly in how we parent; just have to learn to compromise!
I used to work in a stately home which was open to the public through the summer. I have to say everyone dreaded the Americans coming in 😂 The entitlement is mind boggling. They would try and come in without paying, try and go into rooms that were out of bounds or said private on them and just generally be loud and obnoxious. We'd get so frustrated with them. Then at the end of their visit would say what a wonderful place to visit....while we gently ushered them out of the door half an hour after closing time 🙈.
As an American myself, it's so disheartening to read comments like this again and again about Americans. I would not do any of those things you mentioned and would be embarrassed if someone I was with did them. I wonder if it's not just a generational thing but regional also.
@@redwarrior2424 well take heart in the fact that you are not the archetype, and if you treat others as you would like to be treated, you'll be marled as one of the exceptions which proves the rule. And remember, for every demographic there are people who, like you, don't match negative expectations - so you're not alone.
@@DmGray It's possible that it's also related to an age thing. Given limited holidays, a *lot* of US tourists are retired, and have spent most, if not all, of their adult life in one culture, and only get to experience others at a somewhat advanced age, and may have what may seem to other people to be an excessive amount of curiosity. When I travel, I try to remind myself that I am basically a child in the culture I have traveled to, but doing that might not be easy for someone who is doing it for the first time, and is old enough to be a grandparent.
It awful eating out in the USA. It’s just a task there, to feed yourself, you’re expected to leave as soon as you’re done. We stopped eating out there as it’s just not an enjoyable experience at all
@@amybagnall6097like you, I can only go by my own experience. You haven’t lived everywhere and I haven’t travelled everywhere. In my experience, in the states I’ve been to, this is what happens every time. They don’t bring the bill with the food, but as soon as you put your knife and fork down they bring it. They don’t wait for you to ask for it. You are subtlety expected to eat and leave. There is no this table is yours for the night. It’s is a time allocation, they want you in and out for tips. Please, I’d love to know that this isn’t the case somewhere there, and that you can spend the night at the table, as you do in other countries. Can you recommend where we could go to get the enjoyable night out experience in a restaurant, booking the table for 20:00 and remaining until 23:00-24:00?
omg eating in america... the constant asking are you ok, is the food ok , is the service ok, ..... so fecking annoying! its not real interest its begging!... someone to take the order, deliver the food, give the bill.... im happy!
Same for me and everyone I know here in New Zealand; going to a restaurant is an occasion. If we just want to eat, we cook at home or buy takeaways; we don't even go to restaurants when we're away from home - not *_real_* restaurants, anyway. MacDonald's and Burger King may *_call_* themselves restaurants, but they aren't, they're just "fast-food joints" with a place to sit and eat, and there may well be tables at a fish 'n' chip shop where you can eat if you're on the road (or you eat in your car or at a nearby park) but actual *_proper_* restaurants, we only go to them if it's someone's birthday or an end-of-year work lunch or some other occasion. And we sure as hell aren't wanting to be rushed out the door.
Americans used to know to put their knife and fork together on their plate to indicate they were finished with their meal. This confirms my suspicion that sometime in the last 30 years, American parents stopped trying to teach their children table manners.
Miss Gael, you just nailed it. What was once what everyone did is now seldom done, to the detriment of society. Good manners are essential to civilization!
photoisca7386 is right that the invisible queue is dying out in Britain- particularly for city bus queues - but it's still a strong tradition where it matters. I live in a busy town with an over-subscribed Citizens Advice Bureau (free advice), where people would queue up for an hour or two before it opens. Because there is no seating at the door, they seat themselves around the small garden courtyard in front. When the office opened, I watched everyone silently line up in the order in which they arrived....you just know to take a mental snapshot when you do.
I think that's the point of the video though. What is 'good manners' in one is not necessarily 'good manners' in another. One thing I've noticed about the shouting though is that it's generational. We weren't 'quiet as mice' when we were younger either but we didn't shout. I've noticed now they keep their headphones in then shout at each other LOL.
@@katmurphy6634 It certainly seems that way. Just look at the way they handle voice calls... They always have it on speaker phone and hold the end of the phone to their ear 🤦♂️😆
Yes, I'm thinking it may be a generational or regional thing. I would never just take another empty seat on a plane. I would definitely ask the flight attendant if it would be okay to move. I don't give tours of my house, although I love seeing other people's, and may ask if I can. I'm okay with "no." Who talks about religion with anyone you don't actually know, or, really anyone except at church? I really wonder where she grew up in the states.
A friend of mine with new American neighbours was asked if she could recommend a pastor. Being unfamiliar withe the word, she heard it as pasta. Very difficult conversation followed......
Never EVER ask 'how much money do ya make' or 'how much money do you have'. It is the height of bad manners. The only people ever allowed to ask those questions are, respectively, your bank manager or the person holding you up with a knife at a cash-point.
I've read Jane Austen, they talk about how much Mr. Darcy is worth, how much Mr. Bingley is worth, how much Mr. Rushworth is worth, how much Georgiana Darcy is worth, how much Anne de Bourgh is worth, et cetera, et cetera. Don't tell me that that's solely an American thing.
The private space thing is evident in British homes. Their front garden is often uninteresting, and access to their back garden is invariably accessed only through a gate. The back garden is where there are shrubs and flowers as well as patios with outdoor seating, and it's usually surrounded by a high fence. Having a back garden that is "not overlooked" is valued. It's definitely a private space. Also, notably in older homes, the front "reception room" may have no doorway to any other room. There is often a toilet near the front door so guests need not venture into any other part of the house.
Yes it's highly valued to have a non overlooked back garden. I had an American neighbour once and he would just stand leaning on the fence looking right into our garden, he felt comfortable doing it, we thought it was weird.
Where in the U.S are you from?? I am 70 years old and have lived in the southeast United States all of my life. None of what you describe is anything like the U. S. I live in. I have never given a guest a tour of my house and have never been offered one. Waiters rarely bring a check to my table before I have asked or it. As a child I was always taught to be careful to use my "in-door voice" when appropriate. I would never ask a question of a stranger without first saying "excuse me" and using "please" and "thank you." People where I live don't cut lines. It is true that people here may ask friends where they go to church, but we don't discuss religion or politics in social settings. Most everything that you say the British find rude would also be considered rude in my part of the U. S.
Thanks for that. I don't know if Georgia and South Carolina are considered southeast USA, but people I know from there are all louder than Europeans. Maybe you're quiet by American standards but still loud by European standards?
@@gordon1545 I’m from South Carolina and have been to Europe and never had any issues. I guess we were just “brought up” that way. I agree with you- please and thank you , don’t discuss money, politics or religion outside of family. The only thing I did that was commented on was how I used Sir or Ma’am but then I’m a military brat 😂🎉
I'm Danish but many of our customs are much like the British. My pet peeve in USA is that the servers want you out of a restaurant as fast as possible. I understand the reason but find it annoying anyway. If I go out for dinner with friends in Denmark, it's normal that the meal including coffee, drinks etc. last 3-4 hours.
@@WoozyPolarBear Not really. It can take an hour for your food to arrive, one hour to eat it and the last hour is dessert and drinks. Pretty normal really :)
"It's none of your business". This statement is routinely used in the US, often without ill-will, but here in the UK it's a definite declaration of hostility, it's only ever said aggressively, indignantly or with extreme coldness, and only ever reacted to with any of those 3.
@@pamela_fay That's not basically saying the same thing. That's basically conveying the same meaning for what in the US is the same effect, but the effect HERE of "None of..." is almost a miniature declaration of war. As I remember, the older generations used "Mind your own business" which was also hostile but far more mild, it had the effect of, "Hey I want to stay friends/allies, but I'm not discussing that, ok?" . With "None of...", across all current generations, you make it VERY clear the inquirer is generally an unwanted presence.
I live in Germany. We’re direct too. However, being rude is being lacking in respect for others and showing arrogance towards others. You are not more important than anyone else. Be polite and respectful towards others. I don’t want to hear your conversation, I obviously ask with a “please” and say “thank you” afterwards.
loud girl on the bus trying to pay for something on her phone, i realised this and took notes of her name address debit card and ccv # she finished i got out my phone and at same volume said "HELLO, I SAW YOUR ADVERT ON EBAY DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ELEPHANT FOR SALE? OK GREAT CAN YOU DELIVER IT TO GAVE HER ADDRESS AND CARD DETAILS THEN SAID £500 FOR EXPRESS DELIVERY" the bus was laughing their heads off
Mate, please don’t plead the “direct” argument when really many Germans are quite arrogant and disrespectful to others. It’s Germans expecting to force their culture on others. As an Australian with a German background, I have zero patience with typical rude German “behaviour”. Grüße aus Australien. Tschüss.
@@philiprice7875 Well you taught her a lesson that was for her own good. Some people are daft when it comes to phone conversations and their private details!
Was on a bus in Germany about 10 years back talking to my Dad back in the UK, had the whole lower bus to myself, suddenly Hannelore and Klaus walk on with their two little brats, and get into my face about "Hey, lower your voice" and "I've paid for my ticket too". I told them to mind their own damn business, I was a visiting professional spending money in their nation when they couldn't get enough skilled Germans to do the job. Had another German who caused a stink with the other train passengers and wouldn't remove his fruit basket from a seat. He knocked it into my thigh, I knocked the contents onto the floor. You people have a hard time dealing with others on public transport, for an otherwise very civilised people.
I don't think this supposed prohibition on UK house tours is that common, even in the buttoned-up south. When first time visitors express interest in the layout of our not particularly remarkable bungalow, we do offer them a tour, and some even ask for one. Unless the "closed up" rooms are in a truly disgusting condition, we're generally fine with this. Interior design, efficient use of space, "flow", "character", development potential,visit furnishibg, colour etc are all very interesting to Brits - witness the multiple "property porn" magazines and TV shows - and is a staple topic of conversation with home visitors, along with tips about builders, suppliers etc.
Yes came here to say the same thing. If you've just moved in all your friends will want a tour the first time they visit your new home. However if I made a new friend and was invited to their house for the first time I wouldn't dream of asking for a tour.
I would like to add, in Canada, we hold the door for people entering businesses. The people walking through say, "Thank you!" I once held the door open for people in the U.S. and they walked through without so much as a backward glance. My immediate thought wasm "How ruuuuude!"
I think a common response in the UK to not being thanked for holding a door open is a very audible, 'You're welcome!', said in a tone which conveys utter contempt and which heaps public opprobrium on the head of the offender.
@@robinholland1136 Yes I do that too ! and also when I stop to let someone cross the road and they don't acknowledge with a wave or a nod of the head, i wind the window down and shout 'you're welcome' ! they look so surprised, I guess you have to blame the parents for not teaching them good manners.
You must have been in the northern US. Southerners usually have way better manners. I'm female but my parents taught me to hold a door open for anyone, male or female. I can't imagine not thanking someone who did it for me. 😱
On my many travels in the US, the number of times in a cafe a customer has addressed the person behind the counter with the words 'fix me!' to get an order. No 'please', no 'could you', just straight out demand. That appears so rude to us.
Thank you for your comment, good to hear your point of view. 'Being polite costs nothing' - something drilled into us as kids. Kind regards. @@kathleendavis5727
It can seem rude so it’s better to be a bit more explicitly polite such as by phrasing it as a request, but it’s not seen by the speaker as making a demand, but as relaying your order efficiently. The staff are there to perform a service, both parties know this, there’s no need for the customers to make a long elaborate ritual out of the answer when they ask what you want.
Walking up to someone in a supermarket and just asking 'where's the flour?' would be regarded as rather rude, perhaps aggressive here in the UK. I always start with 'Oh sorry to bother you, but...' to soften the approach. I do it on the phone too: 'Sorry to bother you but I'm wondering if my car is ready yet...'. I was at a London tube station once (Bakerloo line) and a rather loudly spoken American said 'gee I guess the Brits need some spelling lessons, that says BACKERLOO!'. It wound me up so much I wanted to punch his lights out, but that would've been rude...
I was on a train in the US and two girls behind me were talking so loudly I actually turned round and told them to turn down the volume. And in a diner I was shocked that people don't say please and thank you when ordering! Incredibly rude.
My wife and I were in a roof-top restaurant in Nice. The restaurant was long and thin, to give everyone a good view of the sea, and we were at one end. We, and people from all over the world throughout the restaurant, couldn't hear our own conversations because there were two tables of Americans in the place. They were at the far end from us (which was good), but had been placed next to each other (which was bad). So each table just increased and increased their own volume so as to be able to hear over their neighbours, so nobody else could hear at all. Quite incredibly selfish and rude. But very American.
@@kgbgb3663Canadians are similar. I think North Americans are deaf. It must be the incessant noise from Harley Davidsons and loud exhausts. Oooh look at me!
They don’t even ASK when ordering! It’s all, “I’ll get the…” It’s horrible. (A) No, you’re not getting it, the server is, and (B) Ask nicely! Horrible.
The pleasing is very Britishe, the rest of differenses also apply for many other European countries, like Norway. My daugter studied to her Bachelor degree in England, and when my husband and I wisited her, we were instructed by her to always say please. We adapted very fast.
Perhaps you haven't eaten in a posh English restaurant, where one of the social stresses is working out which of the variously sized knives, forks, and spoons, should be used with each course (e.g. starters, bread plate, soup course, main dish, dessert, drink.) Using the wrong ones makes you look like you were never taught the proper etiquette for dining. There are certain rules about starting from the outside, but that assumes you don't mix them up in the first place.
@@vanarunedottir Whatever you use will be cleared with each course and replaced if necessary. You will never have more than two items to put down at once.
Actually, placing your fork and knife in the center of your plate as shown here, is the correct way to indicate that you are finished with the meal. It is a signal that the server may remove them from the table.
And as shown, the knife and fork should be placed in the 4 O'clock position. If you're still in the middle of your meal and need to leave the table for a moment (to be excused) you place your knife and fork with the tips crossed over, for example just like crossing your legs at the ankle. This signals that you're not yet done with your meal. There's a further signal using the placement of your napkin.
The fact most Americans I have met seem to never appreciate people that work to provide services to them has really annoyed me a few times. Here in Britain it is considered quite normal to thank the bus driver or the checkout person or the ticket sellers etc etc etc. my SO is American and it took a while for them to learn just general manners.
probably relates back to slavery or something (just a guess). In Australia, it's seen as being arrogant/thinking of yourself as being above others to not show respect for those sorts of people & add tradies to that list too & people here all see it as a way of showing they are decent people, by treating serving type people well
@@davequinn3093not weird, just not required or expected. I get plenty of tips I just don’t rely on them for my livelihood, they’re a lovely compliment from someone who appreciated my service though! Manners, however, cannot be bought.
@@davequinn3093 you don't though do you! You tip for their survival, which is a totally different thing. We tip if someone actually deserves it, making the tip far more special than if it's built into the payments & required. We also pay living wages, which imo is a much stronger sign of appreciation than blackmailing a person into enduring whatever abuse a customer wants to throw at them. Additionally, to me it's actually pretty messed up to suggest that only the rich have the ability to show appreciation, or the richer you are, the more appreciation you can show, that's why it's so important to us to have non-financial ways to show appreciation. Volunteering is a big thing here, cause that means supporting the person's community at a pro-rata rate, making everyone equal. Ie, a CEO who makes $10,000 per hour & a minimum wage worker who only earns $30 per hour are both contributing the same percentage of their income if they give up an hour of work to volunteer, aren't they
I live in the Netherlands and the door where the bus driver sits is entry only, so we'd need to shout to thank them, so we don't do that. I do invariably say hello to the driver when I board though. I also greet and thank people at the cash register and use the polite form of address, unless I'm a regular customer.
On the restaurant/eating thing, another difference is the teeminology. In the uk the instruments you use to eat your food with are called cutlery, utensils generally means things used for cooking such as fish slice, whisk etc.
Or I have heard people from the US call cutlery Silverware, which to me sounds like a display of say trophies, trays, christening/wedding ornaments or a fancy canteen of cutlery from a case. The way they use a knife or mainly using just a fork can be seen as rude, especially at a restaurant, where there may be several courses and the cutlery is set out in a particular way.
We say cutlery in the U.S. too. Although some say utensils or silverware (or plasticware for disposable cutlery, but kind of as a joke sometimes). I say cutlery.
@@HuntingViolets Arrrrgghh _Disposable plastic cutlery !_ You've reminded me of the shock I kept having on a trip to New York this summer. Time and again in 'restaurants' there'd be these things ~ and paper plates & cups too ~ which I last saw at a child's fifth birthday party. I'd forgotten that they existed and yet they are rife there. Catch up with the rest of the world's recycling habits USA! I was so flummoxed that by day three of the same, I questioned a waiter. She mistook my dismay for delight and trumpeted how much hot water energy it saved not having to wash them up and just toss them in the garbage can. Heaven help us!!
Yet when I arranged a 8 course dinner (at a restaurant) with 4 British couples, not one of them knew where to start with the cutlery or glasses (full table setting) & and my wife & I had to show them the ropes.. Brits seem to have an overinflated idea of how classy they are.
You've missed off the one about Americans holding their forks in their right hands, waving them in the air as they speak and cutting their food with them. It's regarded as really 'lower class' and uncultured to do that in the United Kingdom. 😬
A strictly American thing which I saw was a group of US tourists in a rather nice restaurant (not fast food) actually joining hands and praying loudly/ saying grace when their food arrived. I thought this was incredibly rude and disruptive - everyone turned to stare at them. Pray if you want, but do it silently, although I have never seen anyone praying in a restaurant before!
I was born and raised in the U.S, am now Canadian after many years of marriage and have lived in four countries for significant periods. I found a helpful and useful thing to remember is to try and watch how the people of other countries you visit, or live in, act in their normal day with others, and take your queue from them. Every culture is different, for their unique and respectful reasons, and I have always found others very respectful if you are likewise.
#8 - A request for utensils in the UK might result in you being brought a spatula and a balloon whisk. The appropriate collective term for dining implements in the UK is "cutlery".
The last census in the UK revealed that the majority now have no religion. So asking about what church a person goes to will quite likely be met by a "Huh?" response.
I think most Brits finally realised that after 2000 years of waiting Jesus just isn't showing up. Our patience is finally exhausted. It was probably just a made up story anyway.
I am from a catholic family that sent me to a protestant school, then a progressive comprehensive secondary that had no religious bias. I was and am an atheist. However when it comes to heritage and culture I am absolutely a Christian. Even Richard Dawkins acknowledges this.
@@John-k6f9kIt's a small minded view though since God is infinite so a few thousand years would be like a weekend to him. Most religious people understand that God won't often do things on our watch
I live in the USA, born In the Uk. There isn’t a day that goes by that I dont think, “ gosh these people are so loud” or man, “ they’re so rude”. My pet peeve is when the server takes your plate as soon as you’re finished instead of waiting for the other diners to finish. They ask you if you’re done “working” on your meal, to which I reply, yes I’ve finished eating thank you. I find them generally so blunt, with little finesse or polish, especially your average male. They don’t know how to dress and love to carry around these enormous mugs of soda. On the plus side. They’re extremely positive, upbeat, fun, friendly and they get shit done.
I was all ready to be upset with you... but then that ending... You saved it. We both have to learn to accept that social norms are different in different regions. You really have no right to think me rude UNLESS I have come to your British town and broken some British tradition or etiquette. If I am just an American in America being American, then it's NOT RUDE!!! Its the norm. But calling it rude is very rude! So there! LOL Your comments are a cold cup of water in the face because I am a huge fan of British TV, I could name 15 favorite shows right now, and I have always assumed that I would enjoy the company of Brits and that they would enjoy my company as well. But maybe not. I spent half of yesterday lamenting the loss of Maggie Smith - truly a world wide treasure. So yeah... its very uncomfortable hearing an objective unfiltered opinion. Regarding your pet peeve about servers, you just have to accept a lot of that is not their choice but is in fact the policy of the management of the restaurant chain. And the best way to address it is with your patronage. If you don't like how the servers behave at a given restaurant or chain, don't go back. Honestly, very little is in their control.
I live in Japan, and it's considered offensive to tip! It's awesome. No tip required. No worries. Never have to think about it. It should be the same everywhere.
Had a pushy American one evening in Florence. Was alone in the queue for a restaurant not yet open at the start of the queue and an American woman wanted to read the menu on a chalk board at the entrance. That is what she said! Was then joined by another person and then another! I just watched!!! My daughter finally arrived and I did the eyebrow rise at the group! The restaurant finally opened, the American group, being joined by another friend, surged in without a backward glance!! The waiter asked if we wanted to sit next to them and I emphatically said “certainly not”! At which he gave a big grin!! As an after thought I wonder if that is how this group operated all over Europe? No wonder Some Americans get a bad name!
Yes, I've seen the same when I lived in Europe but unfortunately I suspect that post the catastrophic brexit the english are viewed with a similar contempt as Europeans have no way of distinguishing between the rude and exceptionalist ones and decent people.
@@PurityVendettaoh bless you! Having travelled to mainland Europe dozens of times since the democratic decision to leave the EU, the one single bad comment I’ve had is from a family member who lives abroad and doesn’t even know the UK anymore. From the rest it’s been surprise and respect for having the courage to stand alone. But you do you.
Also if you put the fork behind one ear, and balance the knife between your top lip and nose… this indicates to the waiter that you are completely insane
Yes, and she missed that two bread sticks up the nostrils indicates to serving staff you're ready for the next course. Also, you generally indicate you're ready to pay by writing "Bill Please" on your wife's forehead with a felt tip, though I have had that misunderstood and the waiter brought us a duck (it would possibly be a platypus in Australia)..
Regarding religion, we had an American colleague of my husband to stay who insisted that we held hands while he said grace. We are atheists and found it incredibly rude that someone should impose his religion on us in our own home. I was so shocked that l didn’t say anything but if it were to happen again l would certainly object.
@@lizbignell2820 you should have just said No Thank you but you go ahead. It is very rude to impose any religion on anyone but especially in their own home. He should have asked you if it would be ok if he said Grace? And even if you said yes, Holding hands No! People should not presume everyone thinks and feels the same way they do.
Exactly - as a Brit, you were not only shocked but also too polite to say anything, because we would feel that we were being rude, despite the American colleague's rudeness!
Elsewhere, I saw a video by an American who had visited Europe, and spent a week with a group of people from various countries, including Britain. He said it suddenly hit him at the end of the week that he had no idea what any of them did for a living, what kind of house they lived in, how much money they made, what their educational qualifications were - they'd talked about all sorts of different subjects, but never even *mentioned* anything like that, which he said would be regarded as normal to talk about where he lived! He didn't know whether they didn't think stuff like that to be important, or whether they felt such details about their life were 'none of anyone else's business' - but, he said, even looking back on it some time later, he still found it astonishing. Re. religion; I can think of one family I'd known for over 30 years, and they'd mentioned that the mother "sang in the church choir" - but I didn't know which church they belonged to until I went to the father's funeral. I can well believe an American would ask "Why didn't they ever *tell* you which church they belonged to?" - to which my answer would be "Why should they? That's none of my business!"
That's because in the UK and in Europe your job, your income and your religion don't define who you are. They're not your personality, and they can all be changed. Also, on religion, we spent centuries killing each other over religion so no wonder we learned not to talk about it with strangers.
I think the main thing here in the U.K., in a social setting anyway, is that people generally don’t really care about what you do, how much you earn etc. As long as you’re not boring, you’re fine! We want banter, laughs, not a breakdown of your CV and how many zeros are at the end of your salary 😂
@@jackx4311 Perhaps the Europeans don't feel that they as individuals can be 'pigeonholed' for their character by simple facts such as Religion, House/Home size/style, Income . (Neither do I, fwiw )
I’m an American and I can’t stand how loud people talk. In public places, I’ve heard some pretty disgusting cell phone conversations about extremely personal topics delivered in a loud voice in places like restaurants and coffee shops. I’ve always been bothered by this aspect of our culture.
Bill Bryson, a quote from an American author who wrote 'Notes from a Small Island' nails British attitudes to queuing...'not only do the British queue, they queue without being told to do so!'
It wasn't always so. I have pictures of people trying to board buses and trams in the 1920s and '30s which look like a rugby scrum. In 1941 it was made law that more than six people waiting for a bus had to form an orderly queue, and the same naturally happened in shops where most commodities were rationed, so by the end of the war the nation had habituated to forming a queue whenever there was a need for it. Thankfully it's a habit we've never lost.
And definitely not "silverware" as I've heard some Americans refer to it. Interesting that they don't know what to call and don't know how to use it. I suppose the ultimate test would be a fully laid multi course laid table, including fish knives, soup spoons, etc,.
@@RoyCousins I often have a private chuckle when I think of the woman who didn`t know the National Anthem or how to curtsey when first married into the Royal Family, being seated at her first State Banquet. Fly on the Wall time.
Silverware is simply the more expensive version of cutlery....used mainly at high end weddings etc....not really common household items. Cutlery covers all table eating items whether standard or specific such as fish knife etc...
Regarding getting your bill (English for Check), we often have the opposite problem, in that it is hard to catch your server's eye to get your bill when you have finished eating, and you end up sitting waiting to leave for a lot longer than you would like. Even if you have declined the sweet menu, the servers seem to do their best to avoid catching your eye. You'd think that, having very obviously finished your meal, they'd offer you your bill almost immediately, but they overdo avoiding being rude and presenting it "too early" to the point of exasperation.
If the place is busy then it's a good idea to ask for the bill when you decline a dessert or coffee or whatever. If it's not, or you aren't in a hurry, just catch the server's eye when you are ready to pay.
I typically ask for it when I decline a dessert: "No thank you; just the check please." In the US, servers often bring the check as soon as they think they can without annoying the diner(s), the simple reason being that if they (customers) have to wait too long to pay and leave - they'll probably leave a smaller tip.
@@Jim-the-Engineerthis is such an example of the difference in culture. Them bringing the bill makes us, non Americans, feel like we are being rushed out and that we can’t sit and chat and have a few beers etc. enjoy the night. But maybe it’s just a misunderstanding of culture. Could we stay at the table and we are taking the bill being given as an incorrect sign?
Since when did "check" become the standard English spelling? In Australia we would check out the cheque & pay it, with "bill" also being acceptable language to use, cause we will in reality, pay electronically, not by cheque
I have no idea where you eat out, but most places I've eaten at and every restaurant I've worked at, the service staff are _actively_ looking for people who have finished, especially if it's a busy service and there are occupied tables with bookings for later in the evening.
The loudness point is exactly the same as the last point about entitlement/selfishness/assertiveness in taking something in a communal situation. If you are being loud you are monopolising the shared space in a sonic sense! If you conceptualise it by that principle of not taking up a big footprint, leaving space for others, (rather than some rule about noise levels) then whether you are used to loud or quiet places doesn't really change it. If you constantly aware of how much conceptual "space" you are taking up in life, then it's just natural to notice when you are taking up more than your fair share of the specific environment you're currently in, rather than some arbitrary loudness value, and you don't need to make different rules for different situations (e.g. library vs office vs rock concert), it's just a general principle that works everywhere!
OMG, mind your own business. This is why Americans are free to do and say whatever we want. Have you ever been to a concert in Scotland? Loudest, rudest people I have ever met.
"Can I get a..." This is generally seen as an American way of asking for something in shop/takeaway. It's also quite rude and grammatically incorrect. You can have one, but you can't get one, that's the job of the person you are asking.
Religion was the root of a lot of strife throughout the British Isles from the mid C16th until in to the C19th (and there are still some issues in some places). Having been there, we don't wish to go there again and it is one of the reasons that people as a rule do not wish to talk about or discuss religion. The UK generally is much more secular (and increasingly so) than the US. The most recent census had far more people saying 'no religion' than previously.
That is my thoughts I’ve from Glasgow and I had to tell American preachers that handing out bibles or tracts to customers in my work is not going to go down well here as we have customers of multi faiths and no one wants preached at when they go into a fast food place.
When you see some preachers in USA I wonder are they Christian or just out to accumulate wealth for themselves! Within the United Kingdom we need a greater Christian culture, but without the hard division of Anglican, Catholic and Free church traditions. Not everyone wants the same style of worship.
@@pinknylon1121 I see and hear more people criticising those that have a belief in a religion than the other way around. Often to declare that you are a Christian in particular, invites a diatribe on how bad Christianity is, all from one small bigoted opinion and I suspect that is one of the main reasons why Christians shy away from discussions.
The placing of cutlery originally evolved in etiquette as a signal to the waiter. Straight together was a sign you were finished, crossed was a sign you were still eating.
I really learned that lesson the hard way, on my first visit to usa I was with friends in a restaurant and towards the end of the meal I just couldn't hold myself any longer and had to go for a wee; I am one of those people who save the best of my food till last and I had a lovely chunk of meat and gravy and just the right amount of mashed potatoes left to enjoy it. I carefully and deliberately left my cutlery crossed so that the waiter would know I hadn't finished, dashed to the loo and dashed back only to find to my horror that my plate was gone!!! I was so upset and outraged that I most uncharacteristically demanded that it be replaced but really the meal was ruined for me.
It's so ingrained that even at home, eating my tea on my knee while watching the TV, when I finish I put my cutlery together neatly before getting up and taking them to the dishwasher.
The reason you don’t move your seat on the plane without asking is because if there were , heaven forbid, an air crash they could determine who the person was by their seat number
Especially in a pub ... where alcohol will be involved. No harm in a general discussion (or moan) but if it turns into a one-on-one confrontation, well ...
Not talking about religion, money and politics is a class thing in the UK. It's taboo for the working classes. The more cultured/educated a social group, the more likely informed discussion happens about religion and politics.
Placing the knife and fork the way you describe, - knife on the right, fork turned upwards beside it, is not just an odd custom, it’s actually a sign to the waiter that you have finished eating. No matter how busy he or she is, a good waiter will spot this and come to clear the table as soon as they can. It’s much more civilised than trying to catch the water’s eye by raising an arm or waving, which they may not appreciate.
I'm Australian, my mother was a waitress. She taught me that with knife and fork together the plate is "closed". You have finished eating. With knife and fork apart, the plate is "open", you have not finished eating.
A guest would be seated in my living room and I would let them know where the toilet (bathroom) is in my council flat. I would not show them my bedroom. As I always offer guests at least tea and biscuits there wouldn't be much point them being shown around the little kitchen.
I work for an advice charity in England. A few years ago we had a visiting American student for the summer who helped with the phone calls. Other people in the same room found it really hard to concentrate because she was so loud. She had a notice stuck over her workspace saying INDOOR VOICE! But she just couldn't help it. It was a relief for the rest of us when she finished her stint and we could hear ourselves think again. I didn't realise how true the "loud Americans" thing was until I met her.
Re queueing . . . In the UK there may not actually be a physical line, but everybody who joins a 'notional' queue (at the bar in a pub, for instance) knows who was already there and, consequently, who arrived later. The bar staff (in this example) also have a fairly good idea, but not complete as they have to be looking at what they're doing as well. It's quite common for a barperson (we rarely say "bartender") to ask "Who's next; you Sir?" and for the addressed person to say "No, he/she's next." Often, it's done wordlessly, with raised eyebrows and nods or gestures.
Yes, it is like that at the vets, you are all sitting in a waiting room but you have to keep track of who was there when you got there so you can take your turn.
Yes, bar staff usually have a pretty good idea who comes next. Waving a bank note will NOT get you preferential treatment. Stating that "no, this person was next" will always get you served second, even if you were actually 5th.
You forget to mention that Americans like chopping up the food on their plates and then shovelling it into their gobs with a fork - usually with their right hand !
I'm a Canadian and often eat an entire meal without using a fork. 😂 As to "shoving it into my gob" - not hardly. When eating with UK family (yes, family) or US friends, I'm often the last one finished. I ran a B&B for many years, with guest from over 80 different countries, and can say with some confidence that no one country takes the prize when it comes to manners. I wonder if you might be a difficult guest? 🤔
Re getting a restaurant bill soon after the food is served . . . Another reason this is not done in the UK is that it's common here not to decide what further course(s) one wants (if any) until after the main course is eaten, and whether or not to order further drinks (coffee, brandy, etc.) until the final food course is finished. Servers routinely ask when clearing after each eaten course if further courses are wanted (and if not, the diners will anyway ask), will add the further items to the bill as the meal progresses, and will not present it until everyone has confirmed they want nothing more, so that it's definitively complete.
There may be a generational aspect to this. Not quite the same thing but there's a particular café I'm very fond of, run by a Scottish-Italian family (father from Salerno, mother and three children all Scottish-born), where you order your meal at the counter and they bring it to you. I've noticed that if the younger family members serve you they instinctively go to take payment immediately unless you ask them not to, whereas the parents are laid back and let you pay when you're done. Which is good because after you've had the meal you ordered, you might well be tempted by the selection of excellent cakes and pastries they bring in from an Italian-owned bakery nearby.
You can still add to the bill, they’re just leaving it with you so you don’t have to wait for them in order to pay when you’re finished. They’re not telling you they’re done with taking your order or to hurry up and leave, they’ll check back to see if you want anything else. They’re just giving you the option to pay as soon as you’re ready to leave. It’s actually more efficient for both sides that you don’t have to wait for them when you’re done.
@@walneygirlI think that in general, if you order at the counter then payment is taken at the time of ordering, if there is table service then payment is taken when the meal is finished
Right, and if I was British, with (by definition) nothing important to do or anywhere important to go, that would be fine. Most people eat and want to go, not sit around wasting time at a restaurant waiting for the bill. Wasting my time in not tolerated.
This is a thing older people say. It's not true. I was a teen in the peak era of ASBOS and all the rest, and my generation was the worst. We're all about 50 now, looking down on Gen Z.
@@gordon1545 You have a point, certainly the most violent and dishonest generation were in their teens from mid 70s to early 80s. I think however they were able to be polite when not out mugging and stealing.
@@ziggarillo It's the American 'culture' slowly infecting them. I hear so many young people saying American words for things now, instead of the UK equivalents. Also they don't seem to understand how phones work either... They always have them on speaker-phone... I don't want to hear your conversation.
If you change seats on an aeroplane without asking then if the plane crashes and catches fire the authorities may mistake your charred body for the person who was booked onto that seat..
I remember being in the bubble of a 747 (economy seating) when the flight attendant announced that boarding was complete and we could spread out to the available seats. Before she’d finished her sentence one couple leapt from their seats and threw themselves onto a row each. God help anyone who got in their way. I remember thinking that while they each had a row to themselves, once the flight was over they still wouldn’t have class.
Good point. Americans are more likely to cut their food into pieces, then put down the knife and switch the fork to their right hand to eat one-handed. Other cultures can be particular about utensil usage too. In Indonesia I was sometimes politely "corrected" for eating with just a fork. They traditionally use a spoon and fork, with the spoon in the right hand and the fork just to help load the spoon. Being unaccustomed to eating a main course with a spoon, I would leave it on the table and eat one-handed with the fork, which would often be picked up on by other diners. Edit: Regarding utensil placement when finished, the Indonesians are similar to the British in that they place their spoon and fork in a certain way to indicate completion. Not parallel, but in approximately the "8.20" position with tips touching. Frequently corrected on that too before I learnt.
@@jaygee5693 A Chef will prepare your food and take time to make it look nice on the plate, then along comes an American who cuts it up into small pieces making it look a complete mess, akin to something you`d do to s little childs dinner.
I'm an American cashier and I used to be a server, and my pet peeve is when I say "Hello, how are you?" to greet a customer and they blurt out their command. For example, at the grocery store they'll say "Bags!" In a restaurant they'll say "Coke" and so on. I'm always tempted to repeat what they said and ask "What about ____?" You like bags? You are a bag? What are we talking about here?
As an Aussie, I would totally respond to someone saying "bags" when asked how they are, with "you're a bag? oh you poor thing! Is there anything I can do to help you?" (while obviously not getting them a bag) & if I was fast enough thinking, I would add to it something like "actually, yes, I can see what you mean, you do have really bad bags under your eyes, don't you! You know what helps me with sleeping, I do ........ maybe you could try that to get rid of your bags?" (all while staring at the bags under their eyes & making them feel self conscious about the possibility that they have bags under their eyes)
During the Irish “Troubles” during the 70s-90s giving the wrong response to the question ‘Church or Chapel?’ could get you killed. Yet another reason why region is not discussed in the UK.
It is far older than that, in fact. The U.K. has a state religion. Being of the wrong religion could get you killed or jailed for centuries. Membership in the wrong religion could be perceived as lack of loyalty to the throne. The roots of This practice in the U.K. is not really decorum. It is self preservation.
American here...older than you Kalyn so maybe it's generational but I have always been taught that there is unspoken language to your cutlery in a restaurant that conveys if you have completed your meal or if you are merely pausing. Also as per the bill delivery is also a status level of the restaurant. If you are eating at say, a diner you're probably getting your bill shortly after your meal arrives. If you are eating at the Ritz, you will not be receiving your bill moments after you receive your meal.
@@oopsdidItypethatoutloud Right? The way I was taught. If you cross your cutlery you're merely pausing. If you place it like Kalyn showed in the video, cutlery side by side and pointing in 10 and 4 o'clock position. You have completed your meal and the server may remove your dish.
Aye, though we leave them at 20 past 7 if we're not finished. Crossing them could be bad luck, as it was meant to be an insult to the host or cook. I'd forgotten all about that until Chris, in the comment above, reminded me ❤️ from Northeast England ❤️
You will also be asked if you require anything else before the bill is made up. This gives you time to adjust your sitting position so you won't fall off the chair when the bill IS presented.
@7:54 In the example of shopping, and asking for assistance, in the UK, we would also use 'could' instead of 'can', as 'can' is an instruction, demanding and abrupt.
To my knowledge it is not normal to use a knife at all in the US….. and those who do use a knife will often put down the fork, to then free up the hand to use the knife. It is PAINFUL to watch.
Painful - I have an American Brother-in-Law who is left handed It's beyond painful watching him cut up his food at the start, and then eat it by pushing the fork around the place.😀😃😄
An American friend working over here in the UK was asked to a very swanky official dinner to represent her firm: she was mortified when her boss brought in his wife to show her how to use cutlery - the rest of us who were going were relieved.
in NY and the earlier settled states they eat like the UK (especially if they're higher up the social scale), it's actually called New York Push. I've been told the reason USians eat like that is because in frontier times the knife was put down to show they were there in peace, but it was by their hand if things went west.
The way the British use a fork and knife is absolutely ridiculous. You know, that fork is curved for a reason, and it's not to try to balance peas on the back.convex side of the fork,
Some people like to talk about their medical problems way too much. When you ask someone "How have you been?", or say "I hope you're well.", you don't really want to have to stop for 10 minutes to hear every detail about their ingrown toenail infection.
The "polite" requests are also showing there's no assumption of status, despite one person working in the service role and the other the paying customer. Money isn't what gives you social standing to nearly the same extent.
I have social anxiety and even hate speaking to salespeople in shops. BUT, if someone skips a queue there is something that triggers in my brain and I will absolutely make sure they know how I feel. It might just be a disgusted look and head shake, but often I actually spoke up and said something. For ME to do that shows how big a deal it is!
In Australia it's very common to be in a store where people gather near the counter but not in a specific queue and when the staff ask "who's next?" you turn to someone who was there before you and say "are you being looked after?" Quite often that person has already been serves and is waiting for their items to be prepared but you would never push in front or not be considerate.
I've been using that technique in bars for decades, if you're asked, and you know it's not your turn, you say " No, this gentleman/lady was before me ", this will guarantee the barman/maid will remember your courtesy, and you'll definitely be served next ...
House tour - no way! I don't want anyone to see my place, especially upstairs and the bedrooms! Americans also can't hold and use a knife and fork properly
@aliservan7188 Every tool in the World has been designed with an optimum way of using it in mind - for efficiency and safety - the traditional British way of using knives and forks isn't to make life difficult, or to be petty, but is to maximise control, efficiency, and to allow elbows to be kept close to the body. Americans tend to eat like a 4 year old experiencing cutlery for the first time - it's extremely jarring and actually embarrassing in formal situations.
My brothers and I travelled UK to the BiG Apple for a weekend. While there we were celebrating one of my brother's significant birthday. I booked a restaurant and specifically negotiated with the manager that we wanted a "British Dining experience" He looked nonplussed, so I explained that in the UK we effectively rent there table as if it's in our own dining room. By all means check things are. ok, take and fulfil orders, but if they played the game we would reflect the hospitality shown. Come the dinner we stayed at the table for about 4 and half hours. We were a party of 6 (Dad was there too) and we had a brilliant time. The resultant bill was just short of eye-watering but the tip was certainly of a size that the waiter confirmed was bigger than they would typically earn during a shift. I returned to NYC a couple of months later and I noticed that for one night a month the restaurant was running "British Dining Experiences" on a Thursday night needed to be for a 6 seat minimum but service would be as required (no pushing to turn). It was regularly selling out
I’m British,husband is American.I have lots of things I can agree with,but you missed my pet peeve about Americans and that’s wearing hats in the house(unless for religious reasons) I don’t understand it and it really drives me mad.
Many years ago, I had an American expat (from New York) as my project manager. He was from New York, but he had lived in Norway for a couple of decades. Lovely man. He sometimes talked about what it was like to go home to visit family and friends, or have them visiting him. He had gotten so used to people using their indoor voices when they talked that the had to go through a period of "social acclimatization" when he spent time with his loved ones from home. "We Americans don't really talk to each other. We shout, and I find it really invasive and draining now that I'm not used to it anymore." Amen to that, Brother!
I don't like when the servers interrupt your conversation so they can check in on you it's like you're deep in conversation with the person or group you're with in the server comes to check on you
Even worse is when one person or several in a family group are served several minutes before everyone else in the small group is served. Or when plates are removed from some, while others are eating.
There's a legal reason in the UK for them to check "Is everything OK?" as it gives them an opportunity to fix any problems and reduce the chance of complaints after and disputes over the bill.
Either when you're deep in conversation or you've got your mouth full and then you have to do that awkward trying to chew your food while also not choking just to end up smiling and nodding lol
How's your meal? Usually delivered in a high pitched insincere way. Once I complained that chicken was tough which was met with a giggle and the server best a nasty retreat,not to be seen again. No tip, bad review on trip advisor.
Sorry to be pedantic but could you please say the 'the rest of Europe' or 'elsewhere in Europe'. Implying the UK is not in Europe is likely to ruffle feathers. By which I mean MY feathers.
@@barrysteven5964 British Isles are part of the European continent, UK left the political "club" the European Union. So geographically nothing has changed, politically, well, here we are in a very changed Britain. Eta, like Norway, part of Europe not part of EU.
Did I hear right? Twenty minutes to eat your meal, and the bill presented when you get your food? And Americans want tipping for this? In addition , when it comes to eating out it appears most Americans are still struggling with the concept of cutlery, they’re still eating with their fingers.
That’s not what happens regularly. I would say getting a bill right after receiving the food is more common in places where it’s normal to eat and go. The server might not even get tipped or the shift might divvy up communal tips. What’s FAR more common is to get your meal, and have an attentive server watch for openings/lulls in conversation and come over to ask you if you need anything. That’s what makes or breaks a good server for me. I tip accordingly. Someone who knows how to do their job well. What isn’t brought up enough are the bad servers that disappear and basically keep you hostage when you want to leave and you can’t pay.
Our queuing thing isn't about being friendly and kind, as might be thought. It's the clearest example of enlightened self-interest you could ever see. If I don't want anyone jumping me in a queue then I must not jump anyone else in a queue, otherwise the system will break down. The definition of anxiety is British people in an Italian queue. I'm saying this from experience.
My experience is that airlines usually ask you to stay in your allocated seat at least until the aircraft is airborne, (which will mean until the seat belt sign is switched off). The reason is not (as some suggest) so they can identify your body in the event of a crash. Instead, especially on smaller aircraft, it's to ensure the aircraft is properly balanced. Takeoff is a critical moment, with the plane fully loaded with fuel, and the weight needs to be distributed correctly side-to-side and front-and-back. Also, I expect the aircrew don't want to have to handle disputes between 'entitled' customers over who gets to sit where. In addition, some people may have special dietary requirements or allergies, and there's the risk of mistakes if people aren't sitting in their expected places.
I was just about to board an aircraft the other day when I read these words of wisdom from the RAF: "In the event of engine failure you will always have sufficient power to reach the scene of the crash". Cheered me up no end....
This is especially true on smaller aircraft eg an ATR. A friend of mine was cabin crew on an airline which used the Shorts 360, (the flying shed), and the flight deck always knew when a passenger had annoyed her as she would start clomping about and they would be playing with the trim tabs continously, to keep the plane level.
Showing people around your house is a bit of a subjective one. You may show a close family member or friend around your new house the first time they visit after you'd just purchased it, or if someone was staying the night, but maybe wouldn't for a work colleague popping in for coffee. My house is tiny, if we have visitors and they want to use the toilet, unless you've shut the bedroom door, they'll see the whole thing on the way/en route to the only toilet in the upstairs bathroom anyway! Maybe this is a big house thing and it just isn't something necessay in small houses.
This list of American habits paints Americans as rude (don't say please or thank you), loud-mouthed (go around yelling), faith-head (talk about religion) show-off (admire my house!) individualists (can't queue respectfully and trample over others), who exploit their service sector workers so they depend on tips (why servers are so desperate to turn over as many covers as possible). These are contributions to culture, politeness and respect every bit as nuanced and valuable as you'd expect from the nation that brought us spray-on cheese and Donald Trump (who is to humankind what spray-on cheese is to cheese).
Except you are not seeing the majority of the US represented. What you see are those who have “made it” financially enough to travel extensively. That is, they are accustomed “stepping on” anyone that gets in their way to achieve whatever they “want”. That is the “ugly American” seen around the world. The truth is: it’s a dang big country peopled by cultures as different as each country in Europe. The whole of Europe & Britain fit easily within the UK. Parts of some states are “evangelical Christian”, & it shows in asking questions regarding religions. Some parts do “offer house tours`’. Most do not, unless you are family & request it. And so on. The real truth is that none of these are true for all or even most Americans. The one point about talking loudly in general but especially in restaurants I will concede is probably true, & here is why: most Americans frequent restaurant Chains. These chains could be steakhouses, Mexican restaurants or any genre of food - but they have one thing in common: a template for business. This means piped in music, mostly loudly, crowds at peak times, & time limitations. So it could be a workday with an hour time limit for lunch. It could be a large group of friends getting together and having “fun” talking distances across the table. It seems there’s always some outside noise happening whether you live in the city or just the music’s turned up, or the place is made of stone and glass which reverberates the sound and makes it difficult to hear so you talk louder. It’s wonderful that European countries and Britain pay their servers a living wage no argument there. And yes, small business owners of restaurants expect their servers to make very good tips to supplement their income to an unsteady, but livable wage. But with the large dependence & the treatment of actual servants throughout Europe/Britain today and throughout history, I would not say that they have any room to talk about our servers in restaurants today.
@@sbyerley The thing that underlines the differences between our societies is that a grotesque specimen of humankind was actually chosen (and might be chosen again!) to lead the American nation. This, more than anything else shows that America truly is a foreign country.
Love your channel. I'm British and have some other ones. I'm not a very formal person and I'm open to other cultures, but I find these things take me back a bit: 1) Use of the fork whilst eating. Yes, we Brits have weird rules about the fork, and most people ignore them, but I don't really mean those. What is extremely rude is to dangle the fork off your right hand, elbow on the table, and stab at the food. It's not so much table manners, as just looking like you're really annoyed and disrespectful of the food and those around you. Prison is pretty much the only place you can eat like that. 2) Another table manners thing: talking with your mouth full. This is very rude in the UK. 3) Saying "Can I get" in a restaurant when ordering food. This takes the waiter or waitress out of the equation and assumes you're going to get it, and they *will* obey you. In the UK it's polite to say "May I have" or "Can I have", so you're giving the member of staff the choice if they want to serve you or not. To end on a positive note, there are some things I love about manners in the US. When I visited the Empire State Building, I went up to the open air viewing platform at the top and I stood on the railings to get a clearer photo. The security guard said "Excuse me sir, don't do that". I was stunned. In the UK you'd probably get an "oi! Get awf there", or you may even be man-handled off the railings. Oh, and that's another thing - the security guard was a very pleasant lady in her 30s. In the UK, security guards are usually irritable blokes who were bullied at school and want to get their own back on the world. This was ten years ago, but it stays with me. I also rather liked how polite the waiters were in cafés and restaurants. I'm not sure I've ever been called "sir" before.
Another restaurant thing in the UK that can come across as rude (although it is quite often done) is for the waiting staff to clear some people's plates, while others on the table are still eating - generally it's considered polite to wait until the whole table has finished before clearing anything. I could be wrong, but I would imagine that perhaps in the US waiters clear as and when individual's finish ?
In my experience, the server always says something like "Can I clear away some of these empty plates?" - and it's seen as polite, not rude; and certainly not a hint to customers to "Finish your food and clear off!"
In even a small group some may not want a starter course, just a main, some may not want a dessert, others may not want coffee. Your wife may even tell you that you have had enough, the waiters have to juggle all the timings, they ask every one when they want their course/s served, ( also are you really taking your wife's advice). And all that with several different groups of diners .
@stephenp5836 Yes my late partner who spent time working in catering in the UK was really angry if a server cleated his plates when others were still eating on the table in the US.
Brit who's lived in the US over 20 years here. No one in the US has ever offered me a tour of their home. Never noticed any difference in speed of delivery of the check after a meal. Nobody in either cares what you do with your utensils nowadays. Americans are by no means all loud, not all UK people are quiet, it's a bit of a myth really. Americans are just as likely to say thank you. Generalizing about religious conversation is hazardous. Really depends where you are and who you're with, in both places. Jumping a line is still frowned upon in the US. Watch any queue in a US airport when boarding. Totally normal. I really don't recognize any of your points from my experience.
Finally! As an American I can only speak to my own experience here (obviously), but none of this rings true as accepted or normal American behavior. Rudeness is rudeness here just like it is everywhere else.
or people will notice the utensils thing and not say anything ....as a posh Brit though ( private schools, oxford, the cavalry...yes all that ) a while back it was embarrassing when a Dutch born US wife ( spent her girlhood hiding in ditches as Stukas dive - bombed her country ....digression ...but why did so many of her native countrymen join the SS....er.... ) ...anyway...digression.. ...at some point during her dinner party she drew her US husband`s attention to my knife and fork handling as if to say ...well you can guess :):)
Dropping your cutlery like an animal isn't just rude, it's a sign of ignorance, in my opinion. In European culture, placing your knife and fork together is a signal to the waiter that you have finished eating and that he or she may remove your plate. I'm not sure how waiters in the US can possibly work this out, otherwise. I guess they're so busy badgering people during their meal that they just 'know'.
@@GreenWhitePurple It is a funny image, but when people simply leave their knife and fork any old way, tghat's exactly what it looks like (either that or a localised explosion) 😀
It’s literally exactly the same here in the states. I’m 40 - never once have I seen anyone throw down their forks and knives when finished eating. If anything, we tend to put all of the plates together and place the knives and forks on top in an attempt to help out the waitstaff and make clean up easier on them.
And not just in restaurants.... In someone's home as well, including your own. Much easier to clear the table & less likely a utensil will fall on the table or floor.
The only reason some rooms aren't for visitors is because that's where we shove all the crap that was in the other rooms just before your visit.
Yeah most of us don't have enough storage space.
Roflmfao sooooo true
@@algrant5293 Dang! I do love it so much when someone finally speaks the truth !
That’s British? Everyone does that… same thing in America
😆💯
I'm British and worked in Minnesota for a year or so. One of the first questions I was asked, when meeting someone for the first time, was, "What Church do you belong to?".
My answer of, "I don't belong to any Church," typically resulted in a "Does not compute" expression, and silence, before they politely moved to talk with a fellow God-Botherer.
Also .... That sticky-out bit, on a Baseball Cap, is called a "Peak" and it goes at the front (especially if you are older than 12).
Brit here, when I occasionally wear a baseball cap I do turn it round depending where the sun is...
This literally wouldn’t happen in connecticut. I’d give someone a strange look if they ever asked me that question.
There must definitely be some regional differences then. I live in Arizona, and I don't believe a stranger has ever asked me that.
Never have I asked or been asked this question
In a Glasgow pub I was asked what religion I was. The answer has a whole different meaning there ;)
If you want to be really polite, say "May I have.."..not "Can I have."
Never forget asking, " May I have .." in a restaurant in Rome. The waiter stopped and thanked me, saying that it was so lovely to hear. My partner and I had a lovely attentive waiter as a result. Politeness matters.
Sadly, it's being increasingly usurped by "Can I get" 😖😑
I often say "could I" because "may I", sadly, feels off in many settings but "can I" feels wrong too.
@@AndreiTupolevI would be digging my own grave very shortly afterward if I dared to say “Can I get…” in earshot of my Mum (and I’m an adult!)
It was drilled into me as a child that you say “Excuse me, please may I have…?” and upon receiving either an answer or the item “Thank you very much!”
When I went to somebody’s house, even if they just invited me in for two minutes (say to wait for a friend to get ready to go out with me when I was a teen), I would say “Thank you for having me!” before I left. It’s just polite to thank them for letting me into their space!
One thing I've noticed Americans doing a lot more than us British people is talking while they chew their food, and I'll be honest, it's quite unpleasant.
You don't talk with your mouth full, something every British child is told.
Absolutely disgusting, enough to put you off your food.
Their table manners are dire! Too much food in their mouths in one go; chewing with their mouths open; not chewing enough; talking with their mouths full; the whole gamut! Oh and then there’s gum!!!!
Yes, like watching a cement mixer.
Eating and drinking at the same time. Runny cement. 😂
The wearing a hat when eating indoors is considered rude in the UK . It is the classic tell for an American. Also wearing a hat indoors. Why wear a hat indoors. A hat is outer wear.
It was considered rude here in America many years ago.
...or to cover baldness.
Loads of Poms do it as well - also sunglasses.
@@elainebutterworth8051own your bald head. Hair is overrated.
@liveinhope George Galloway never takes his hat off!
As a U.K. person who worked in many many pubs, we were told to never take plates away until everyone at the table has finished. Otherwise it makes those who are still eating feel rushed if waiting staff start taking plates away. But annoyingly this has crept in in other EU countries because American tourists.
American living in the UK here. I worked in many restaurants in the US. I would never clear a plate from a table before everyone finished unless asked to do so, which does happen. However I think you see it in more casual establishments rather than fine dining
Edit to add: a good waitperson would also never put the bill on the table after serving the meal, I’d sell you something nice for dessert. You’d never see it done in a nice restaurant.
It was also considered rude to leave the table while others were still eating. TV dinners killed that off.
UK is not in the EU
@@Fordprefect1000 We are still European and NOT USA, not yet!
@@savagesnayle301 The British Isles are not part of the European continent.
If you don't say 'thank you', expect as sarcastic 'you're welcome' muttered back.
even if someone doesn't do a thank you wave in traffic.
@@KX36 so true. And clearly mouth ‘you’re welcome’ as they go past 😂
or have a shite day ☺
Or “don’t mention it!! Ok it’s ok you already didn’t!!!”
Some of the most wonderful come backs I've ever heard have been from people who feel a customer (or driver) should have said thank you.
As a Brit, I was taught from and early age to put the knife and fork together when you had finished eating - also never ever, ever, put the knife in your mouth.
The rule of not putting a knife in one's mouth was the result of too many thick toffs managing to cut their tongues!
@@user-nu6wm8tx1y no knife in your mouth started as a safety measure, before forks the knife was used to put food in your mouth, but they weren't cutlery, they were more double edged daggers
I came over here to Australia as a teenager and was hired as a waitress in a small cafe. I was shocked to see people with their elbows on the table, talking with their mouth full, and not putting their knife and fork together after eating, some would even smoke after a meal and stub their cigarette out on the plate!!
Oh yes I forgot about that. It seems to have been largely stopped as I don't remember the last time I or anyone else has done that.
@@ottowa58 that's disgusting, says a lot about their upbringing
I'm an American who's never been to Britain, but I can honestly say that NOT saying please or excuse me, or the like, to me is being incredibly rude. I have worked in retail, and a customer who used the pleasantries would get a much better response from me than one who just flat out asked the question.
About Americans being loud: last week I was travelling by train from where I live to Barcelona. The train was fairly crowded, not packed, but certainly lots of people. I would not say Spaniards are a quiet lot by any means, but the only voices that could be heard on the train were those of 4 American guys wowing and marvelling at our public transportation system.
well at least they wernt complaining
I'm visiting the UK right now. Let me tell you...there are LOUD Brits in pubs. Usually the younger folks. Not saying anything wrong with it, just noticeable
Rail in Spain, both local and intercity has advanced really quickly in the last 20 years.
@@suedworshak5333 - To be fair to us here, Sue - usually the only places where we could vent our complaints, stresses, and frustrations of the day itself, or week freely out aloud after a few drinks, were in pubs, or at home. Even at football matches, etc - while Nightclubs were possible, too, simply because no one could hear you over the blasting music . . . lol . . .
@@suedworshak5333Really not a comparable situation..
as an englishman married to an american, i have to admit the cultural differences made our relationship very hard at the beginning. but i have always lived by the motto of manners maketh the man.
What did you each learn in the end? - like, learn to accept or learn to do ...
We were taught ‘manners maketh man, and also little children’! That was at primary school in the 60s!
Hi Tayler! And, I might add, a lady! Manners in the US can scarcely be found. At one time we were taught at home and school good manners, but that has slid into an abyss never to be seen again, I'm afraid. Younger people would be so much happier if they were taught to be polite (kinder) to one another and manners in general.
I'm in the UK and can't stand a child with no manners 🙄 That is not their fault, it shows how they weren't taught. I brought our two children up with my husband to always be polite and they picked it up straightway. It is something that teachers and other parents notice and I'm hoping they will do well in the workplace!
Same with me and my husband, I’m Italian and he’s British - 24 years later and there are still differences but mainly in how we parent; just have to learn to compromise!
I used to work in a stately home which was open to the public through the summer. I have to say everyone dreaded the Americans coming in 😂 The entitlement is mind boggling. They would try and come in without paying, try and go into rooms that were out of bounds or said private on them and just generally be loud and obnoxious. We'd get so frustrated with them. Then at the end of their visit would say what a wonderful place to visit....while we gently ushered them out of the door half an hour after closing time 🙈.
75% of Americans do not own a passport. Why do people often say that as if it's a bad thing?😁
As an American myself, it's so disheartening to read comments like this again and again about Americans. I would not do any of those things you mentioned and would be embarrassed if someone I was with did them. I wonder if it's not just a generational thing but regional also.
@@redwarrior2424
Probably also about the kind of people who travel abroad in America (so, class/wealth)
@@redwarrior2424 well take heart in the fact that you are not the archetype, and if you treat others as you would like to be treated, you'll be marled as one of the exceptions which proves the rule.
And remember, for every demographic there are people who, like you, don't match negative expectations - so you're not alone.
@@DmGray It's possible that it's also related to an age thing. Given limited holidays, a *lot* of US tourists are retired, and have spent most, if not all, of their adult life in one culture, and only get to experience others at a somewhat advanced age, and may have what may seem to other people to be an excessive amount of curiosity. When I travel, I try to remind myself that I am basically a child in the culture I have traveled to, but doing that might not be easy for someone who is doing it for the first time, and is old enough to be a grandparent.
If I go for a meal at a restaurant, it's an evening out. I'd hate to feel I was being rushed.
It awful eating out in the USA. It’s just a task there, to feed yourself, you’re expected to leave as soon as you’re done. We stopped eating out there as it’s just not an enjoyable experience at all
@@amybagnall6097like you, I can only go by my own experience. You haven’t lived everywhere and I haven’t travelled everywhere. In my experience, in the states I’ve been to, this is what happens every time. They don’t bring the bill with the food, but as soon as you put your knife and fork down they bring it. They don’t wait for you to ask for it. You are subtlety expected to eat and leave. There is no this table is yours for the night. It’s is a time allocation, they want you in and out for tips. Please, I’d love to know that this isn’t the case somewhere there, and that you can spend the night at the table, as you do in other countries. Can you recommend where we could go to get the enjoyable night out experience in a restaurant, booking the table for 20:00 and remaining until 23:00-24:00?
@@carrie5490it's not really like that where I'm at, tho I'm also in a slower part of the country (missouri)
omg eating in america... the constant asking are you ok, is the food ok , is the service ok, ..... so fecking annoying! its not real interest its begging!... someone to take the order, deliver the food, give the bill.... im happy!
Same for me and everyone I know here in New Zealand; going to a restaurant is an occasion. If we just want to eat, we cook at home or buy takeaways; we don't even go to restaurants when we're away from home - not *_real_* restaurants, anyway.
MacDonald's and Burger King may *_call_* themselves restaurants, but they aren't, they're just "fast-food joints" with a place to sit and eat, and there may well be tables at a fish 'n' chip shop where you can eat if you're on the road (or you eat in your car or at a nearby park) but actual *_proper_* restaurants, we only go to them if it's someone's birthday or an end-of-year work lunch or some other occasion.
And we sure as hell aren't wanting to be rushed out the door.
Someone once said the USA went from barbarism to decadence without the intervening period of culture
What's the difference between the US & milk? Give it 200 years & milk will develop culture
That someone was Oscar Wilde, I think.
There's truth to that. We were Brits, and poor ones at that, until 1945. Now we're all pretty decadent, and nobody is British anymore.
It was Marx. In 1861.
Americans used to know to put their knife and fork together on their plate to indicate they were finished with their meal. This confirms my suspicion that sometime in the last 30 years, American parents stopped trying to teach their children table manners.
not just American
Miss Gael, you just nailed it. What was once what everyone did is now seldom done, to the detriment of society. Good manners are essential to civilization!
They don't eat at the table any more, it's in their rooms in front of the computer/ipad/phone.
Utensils should go together at “5’o clock” on the plate. Americans just lob them wherever 😂
Maybe it's a generational thing. I always do that.
Jumping a queue - very frowned upon in the UK and likely to provoke an uncharacteristic reaction from even the most reserved people.
It is now a dying curtesy, especially in areas dominated by non-British people.
photoisca7386 is right that the invisible queue is dying out in Britain- particularly for city bus queues - but it's still a strong tradition where it matters. I live in a busy town with an over-subscribed Citizens Advice Bureau (free advice), where people would queue up for an hour or two before it opens. Because there is no seating at the door, they seat themselves around the small garden courtyard in front. When the office opened, I watched everyone silently line up in the order in which they arrived....you just know to take a mental snapshot when you do.
Indeed. The tutting will be perceptible.
See the Holly and Phillip scandal about jumping like queue to see the Queen lying in state!!!
I don't queue at bus stops in London
"America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair." Arnold Toynbee
Most things come down to having manners and just generally being more considerate of others.
I think that's the point of the video though. What is 'good manners' in one is not necessarily 'good manners' in another. One thing I've noticed about the shouting though is that it's generational. We weren't 'quiet as mice' when we were younger either but we didn't shout. I've noticed now they keep their headphones in then shout at each other LOL.
Not an American habit, the newer generations have never been exposed to manners, politeness or anything beyond I Me Mine
@@katmurphy6634 It certainly seems that way. Just look at the way they handle voice calls... They always have it on speaker phone and hold the end of the phone to their ear 🤦♂️😆
Yes, I'm thinking it may be a generational or regional thing. I would never just take another empty seat on a plane. I would definitely ask the flight attendant if it would be okay to move. I don't give tours of my house, although I love seeing other people's, and may ask if I can. I'm okay with "no." Who talks about religion with anyone you don't actually know, or, really anyone except at church? I really wonder where she grew up in the states.
It really doesn't take much upfront effort, and could save a lot of wasted energy afterwards.
Q "Where do you go to church?" - A "Depends where the wedding or funeral is"
😂
Or whether its been turned into a carpet warehouse.
Nailed it
A friend of mine with new American neighbours was asked if she could recommend a pastor. Being unfamiliar withe the word, she heard it as pasta. Very difficult conversation followed......
@@angelawhitehouse8066😂🤣😂
Never EVER ask 'how much money do ya make' or 'how much money do you have'. It is the height of bad manners. The only people ever allowed to ask those questions are, respectively, your bank manager or the person holding you up with a knife at a cash-point.
@jamescalverley8694 Wouldn't bother me. I would reply 'Not enough.' or 'Depends on how much ink I have in my printer.'
@@Poliss95 🤣🤣🤣
This needs to change its one of the ways we are encouraged to settle for less
oh and don't forget the taxman but that's all done via PAYE.
I've read Jane Austen, they talk about how much Mr. Darcy is worth, how much Mr. Bingley is worth, how much Mr. Rushworth is worth, how much Georgiana Darcy is worth, how much Anne de Bourgh is worth, et cetera, et cetera. Don't tell me that that's solely an American thing.
The private space thing is evident in British homes. Their front garden is often uninteresting, and access to their back garden is invariably accessed only through a gate. The back garden is where there are shrubs and flowers as well as patios with outdoor seating, and it's usually surrounded by a high fence. Having a back garden that is "not overlooked" is valued. It's definitely a private space.
Also, notably in older homes, the front "reception room" may have no doorway to any other room. There is often a toilet near the front door so guests need not venture into any other part of the house.
Yes it's highly valued to have a non overlooked back garden. I had an American neighbour once and he would just stand leaning on the fence looking right into our garden, he felt comfortable doing it, we thought it was weird.
Sometimes not even a gate, I think all but one of the places I've lived in my life, the only way to the garden was through the house.
Yes, we don’t utilise front garden space at all in uk for any practical reasons or even to sit out - unlike the US front porches etc.
Where in the U.S are you from?? I am 70 years old and have lived in the southeast United States all of my life. None of what you describe is anything like the U. S. I live in. I have never given a guest a tour of my house and have never been offered one. Waiters rarely bring a check to my table before I have asked or it. As a child I was always taught to be careful to use my "in-door voice" when appropriate. I would never ask a question of a stranger without first saying "excuse me" and using "please" and "thank you." People where I live don't cut lines. It is true that people here may ask friends where they go to church, but we don't discuss religion or politics in social settings. Most everything that you say the British find rude would also be considered rude in my part of the U. S.
THANK YOU!!! So true🎉
Thanks for that. I don't know if Georgia and South Carolina are considered southeast USA, but people I know from there are all louder than Europeans. Maybe you're quiet by American standards but still loud by European standards?
@@gordon1545 I’m from South Carolina and have been to Europe and never had any issues. I guess we were just “brought up” that way. I agree with you- please and thank you , don’t discuss money, politics or religion outside of family. The only thing I did that was commented on was how I used Sir or Ma’am but then I’m a military brat 😂🎉
I've seen videos on 'Southern Manners' and found them very similar to what I'm used to
Southern Americans are much more polite, gracious, even, than the ones described here.
I'm Danish but many of our customs are much like the British. My pet peeve in USA is that the servers want you out of a restaurant as fast as possible. I understand the reason but find it annoying anyway. If I go out for dinner with friends in Denmark, it's normal that the meal including coffee, drinks etc. last 3-4 hours.
Absolutely, it is a social event.
Not only in Denmark, for sure.
@@WoozyPolarBear Not really. It can take an hour for your food to arrive, one hour to eat it and the last hour is dessert and drinks. Pretty normal really :)
@@WoozyPolarBear Like @neilthewheelio said : eating out is a social event and this is in Europe normal. I can even confirm the same in SE Asia.
@@bex-fl-1 As eating out is a social event, In Europe we will be having a talk after the food and during dessert/coffee
"It's none of your business". This statement is routinely used in the US, often without ill-will, but here in the UK it's a definite declaration of hostility, it's only ever said aggressively, indignantly or with extreme coldness, and only ever reacted to with any of those 3.
Seriously? Then how do you stop intrusive questions?
@@pamela_fay Usually with "That's personal" or "I'm not discussing that" etc; we only use "None..." if we REALLY dislike or want to goad the inquirer.
Depends how it’s said
@@jaybeebee9288Ok, so basically saying the same thing but just wording it differently. But as they say, 2 nations separated by a common language 😊
@@pamela_fay That's not basically saying the same thing. That's basically conveying the same meaning for what in the US is the same effect, but the effect HERE of "None of..." is almost a miniature declaration of war. As I remember, the older generations used "Mind your own business" which was also hostile but far more mild, it had the effect of, "Hey I want to stay friends/allies, but I'm not discussing that, ok?" . With "None of...", across all current generations, you make it VERY clear the inquirer is generally an unwanted presence.
I live in Germany. We’re direct too. However, being rude is being lacking in respect for others and showing arrogance towards others. You are not more important than anyone else. Be polite and respectful towards others. I don’t want to hear your conversation, I obviously ask with a “please” and say “thank you” afterwards.
The Germans are too honest to be polite, the English too polite to be honest.
loud girl on the bus trying to pay for something on her phone, i realised this and took notes of her name address debit card and ccv #
she finished i got out my phone and at same volume said "HELLO, I SAW YOUR ADVERT ON EBAY DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ELEPHANT FOR SALE? OK GREAT CAN YOU DELIVER IT TO GAVE HER ADDRESS AND CARD DETAILS THEN SAID £500 FOR EXPRESS DELIVERY"
the bus was laughing their heads off
Mate, please don’t plead the “direct” argument when really many Germans are quite arrogant and disrespectful to others. It’s Germans expecting to force their culture on others. As an Australian with a German background, I have zero patience with typical rude German “behaviour”. Grüße aus Australien. Tschüss.
@@philiprice7875 Well you taught her a lesson that was for her own good. Some people are daft when it comes to phone conversations and their private details!
Was on a bus in Germany about 10 years back talking to my Dad back in the UK, had the whole lower bus to myself, suddenly Hannelore and Klaus walk on with their two little brats, and get into my face about "Hey, lower your voice" and "I've paid for my ticket too". I told them to mind their own damn business, I was a visiting professional spending money in their nation when they couldn't get enough skilled Germans to do the job.
Had another German who caused a stink with the other train passengers and wouldn't remove his fruit basket from a seat. He knocked it into my thigh, I knocked the contents onto the floor. You people have a hard time dealing with others on public transport, for an otherwise very civilised people.
I’m in the UK. I will show friends and family a tour only if I just moved.
Yes, housewarming parties start with a tour.
I don't think this supposed prohibition on UK house tours is that common, even in the buttoned-up south. When first time visitors express interest in the layout of our not particularly remarkable bungalow, we do offer them a tour, and some even ask for one. Unless the "closed up" rooms are in a truly disgusting condition, we're generally fine with this. Interior design, efficient use of space, "flow", "character", development potential,visit furnishibg, colour etc are all very interesting to Brits - witness the multiple "property porn" magazines and TV shows - and is a staple topic of conversation with home visitors, along with tips about builders, suppliers etc.
Yes came here to say the same thing. If you've just moved in all your friends will want a tour the first time they visit your new home. However if I made a new friend and was invited to their house for the first time I wouldn't dream of asking for a tour.
It’s not just that it seems like showing off. It’s the presumption of thinking anyone would be remotely interested.
close friends at that!
I would like to add, in Canada, we hold the door for people entering businesses. The people walking through say, "Thank you!" I once held the door open for people in the U.S. and they walked through without so much as a backward glance. My immediate thought wasm "How ruuuuude!"
I think a common response in the UK to not being thanked for holding a door open is a very audible, 'You're welcome!', said in a tone which conveys utter contempt and which heaps public opprobrium on the head of the offender.
Here in Canada we also say You're Welcome in a loud condescending voice.
@@robinholland1136 Yes I do that too ! and also when I stop to let someone cross the road and they don't acknowledge with a wave or a nod of the head, i wind the window down and shout 'you're welcome' ! they look so surprised, I guess you have to blame the parents for not teaching them good manners.
You must have been in the northern US. Southerners usually have way better manners. I'm female but my parents taught me to hold a door open for anyone, male or female. I can't imagine not thanking someone who did it for me. 😱
@@Mick_Ts_Chick midwest.
On my many travels in the US, the number of times in a cafe a customer has addressed the person behind the counter with the words 'fix me!' to get an order. No 'please', no 'could you', just straight out demand. That appears so rude to us.
It is rude to many Americans as well. I am an American and was raised to say please and thank you both at home and while out and about.
Thank you for your comment, good to hear your point of view. 'Being polite costs nothing' - something drilled into us as kids. Kind regards. @@kathleendavis5727
It can seem rude so it’s better to be a bit more explicitly polite such as by phrasing it as a request, but it’s not seen by the speaker as making a demand, but as relaying your order efficiently. The staff are there to perform a service, both parties know this, there’s no need for the customers to make a long elaborate ritual out of the answer when they ask what you want.
Sorry, didn’t realise you had broken down!
@@JustMe-dc6ks then they should ASK efficiently and not bark their requests - that’s still rude
My wife will only allow people to see the rooms that we have tidied, while the junk is piled up in all the forbidden ones, often our bedroom.
Wait, are you.. my husband?
@@tammyowen6769 I sense a stereotype developing here!
Walking up to someone in a supermarket and just asking 'where's the flour?' would be regarded as rather rude, perhaps aggressive here in the UK. I always start with 'Oh sorry to bother you, but...' to soften the approach. I do it on the phone too: 'Sorry to bother you but I'm wondering if my car is ready yet...'.
I was at a London tube station once (Bakerloo line) and a rather loudly spoken American said 'gee I guess the Brits need some spelling lessons, that says BACKERLOO!'. It wound me up so much I wanted to punch his lights out, but that would've been rude...
I was on a train in the US and two girls behind me were talking so loudly I actually turned round and told them to turn down the volume. And in a diner I was shocked that people don't say please and thank you when ordering! Incredibly rude.
My wife and I were in a roof-top restaurant in Nice. The restaurant was long and thin, to give everyone a good view of the sea, and we were at one end. We, and people from all over the world throughout the restaurant, couldn't hear our own conversations because there were two tables of Americans in the place. They were at the far end from us (which was good), but had been placed next to each other (which was bad). So each table just increased and increased their own volume so as to be able to hear over their neighbours, so nobody else could hear at all.
Quite incredibly selfish and rude. But very American.
You’re allowed to talk to your travelling companions but my pet hate is people yakking away on their mobiles
@@kgbgb3663Canadians are similar. I think North Americans are deaf. It must be the incessant noise from Harley Davidsons and loud exhausts. Oooh look at me!
They don’t even ASK when ordering! It’s all, “I’ll get the…” It’s horrible. (A) No, you’re not getting it, the server is, and (B) Ask nicely! Horrible.
The pleasing is very Britishe, the rest of differenses also apply for many other European countries, like Norway. My daugter studied to her Bachelor degree in England, and when my husband and I wisited her, we were instructed by her to always say please. We adapted very fast.
"I have to gather all my utensils and put them on the plate . . ."
It's a knife and a fork. Which you are already holding.
Perhaps you haven't eaten in a posh English restaurant, where one of the social stresses is working out which of the variously sized knives, forks, and spoons, should be used with each course (e.g. starters, bread plate, soup course, main dish, dessert, drink.) Using the wrong ones makes you look like you were never taught the proper etiquette for dining. There are certain rules about starting from the outside, but that assumes you don't mix them up in the first place.
@@vanarunedottir Whatever you use will be cleared with each course and replaced if necessary. You will never have more than two items to put down at once.
@@execbum1 Does that count putting down one or more of your dining companions?
@@vanarunedottirI couldn't afford that kind of restaurant. 😅 Working for the state in the US isn't very lucrative.
This was the same question the elder asked me in Nutbush TN. She used a knife and fork for finger food pig nickels.
Actually, placing your fork and knife in the center of your plate as shown here, is the correct way to indicate that you are finished with the meal. It is a signal that the server may remove them from the table.
yes in the UK
100% Absolutely used to be considered good American table manners, (Amy Vanderbilt etiquette guides confirm this . . . ).
@@SherriMcLain Yes, absolutely in US too! Taught that just about as soon as you can use a fork!!
And as shown, the knife and fork should be placed in the 4 O'clock position.
If you're still in the middle of your meal and need to leave the table for a moment (to be excused) you place your knife and fork with the tips crossed over, for example just like crossing your legs at the ankle.
This signals that you're not yet done with your meal. There's a further signal using the placement of your napkin.
@@SherriMcLain in Australia too
The fact most Americans I have met seem to never appreciate people that work to provide services to them has really annoyed me a few times. Here in Britain it is considered quite normal to thank the bus driver or the checkout person or the ticket sellers etc etc etc. my SO is American and it took a while for them to learn just general manners.
probably relates back to slavery or something (just a guess).
In Australia, it's seen as being arrogant/thinking of yourself as being above others to not show respect for those sorts of people & add tradies to that list too & people here all see it as a way of showing they are decent people, by treating serving type people well
We show servers appreciation by tipping them, which is also apparently weird in your country.
@@davequinn3093not weird, just not required or expected. I get plenty of tips I just don’t rely on them for my livelihood, they’re a lovely compliment from someone who appreciated my service though! Manners, however, cannot be bought.
@@davequinn3093 you don't though do you! You tip for their survival, which is a totally different thing. We tip if someone actually deserves it, making the tip far more special than if it's built into the payments & required. We also pay living wages, which imo is a much stronger sign of appreciation than blackmailing a person into enduring whatever abuse a customer wants to throw at them.
Additionally, to me it's actually pretty messed up to suggest that only the rich have the ability to show appreciation, or the richer you are, the more appreciation you can show, that's why it's so important to us to have non-financial ways to show appreciation. Volunteering is a big thing here, cause that means supporting the person's community at a pro-rata rate, making everyone equal. Ie, a CEO who makes $10,000 per hour & a minimum wage worker who only earns $30 per hour are both contributing the same percentage of their income if they give up an hour of work to volunteer, aren't they
I live in the Netherlands and the door where the bus driver sits is entry only, so we'd need to shout to thank them, so we don't do that. I do invariably say hello to the driver when I board though. I also greet and thank people at the cash register and use the polite form of address, unless I'm a regular customer.
On the restaurant/eating thing, another difference is the teeminology. In the uk the instruments you use to eat your food with are called cutlery, utensils generally means things used for cooking such as fish slice, whisk etc.
Or I have heard people from the US call cutlery Silverware, which to me sounds like a display of say trophies, trays, christening/wedding ornaments or a fancy canteen of cutlery from a case. The way they use a knife or mainly using just a fork can be seen as rude, especially at a restaurant, where there may be several courses and the cutlery is set out in a particular way.
We say cutlery in the U.S. too. Although some say utensils or silverware (or plasticware for disposable cutlery, but kind of as a joke sometimes). I say cutlery.
In a working class New Zealand family, we set the table with the "silver", or the "tools".
@@HuntingViolets
Arrrrgghh _Disposable plastic cutlery !_ You've reminded me of the shock I kept having on a trip to New York this summer. Time and again in 'restaurants' there'd be these things ~ and paper plates & cups too ~ which I last saw at a child's fifth birthday party. I'd forgotten that they existed and yet they are rife there. Catch up with the rest of the world's recycling habits USA!
I was so flummoxed that by day three of the same, I questioned a waiter. She mistook my dismay for delight and trumpeted how much hot water energy it saved not having to wash them up and just toss them in the garbage can.
Heaven help us!!
Yet when I arranged a 8 course dinner (at a restaurant) with 4 British couples, not one of them knew where to start with the cutlery or glasses (full table setting) & and my wife & I had to show them the ropes.. Brits seem to have an overinflated idea of how classy they are.
You've missed off the one about Americans holding their forks in their right hands, waving them in the air as they speak and cutting their food with them. It's regarded as really 'lower class' and uncultured to do that in the United Kingdom. 😬
@johncookson9751 Kalyn did the knife and fork thing in another video.
Watching Americans eat en masse is... mesmerising. Like pigs at a trough.
No it isn’t
Only by members of certain classes.
Your Dad might hit your knuckles with his for it
A strictly American thing which I saw was a group of US tourists in a rather nice restaurant (not fast food) actually joining hands and praying loudly/ saying grace when their food arrived. I thought this was incredibly rude and disruptive - everyone turned to stare at them. Pray if you want, but do it silently, although I have never seen anyone praying in a restaurant before!
How performative. Nobody's impressed, fella... Your god knows either way.
(ETA that comment is directed to the man in your story, not to you).
Ostentatious Christians
I was born and raised in the U.S, am now Canadian after many years of marriage and have lived in four countries for significant periods. I found a helpful and useful thing to remember is to try and watch how the people of other countries you visit, or live in, act in their normal day with others, and take your queue from them. Every culture is different, for their unique and respectful reasons, and I have always found others very respectful if you are likewise.
Cue, nit queue.
"not" 😂
#8 - A request for utensils in the UK might result in you being brought a spatula and a balloon whisk. The appropriate collective term for dining implements in the UK is "cutlery".
The last census in the UK revealed that the majority now have no religion. So asking about what church a person goes to will quite likely be met by a "Huh?" response.
I think most Brits finally realised that after 2000 years of waiting Jesus just isn't showing up. Our patience is finally exhausted. It was probably just a made up story anyway.
I am from a catholic family that sent me to a protestant school, then a progressive comprehensive secondary that had no religious bias.
I was and am an atheist. However when it comes to heritage and culture I am absolutely a Christian. Even Richard Dawkins acknowledges this.
i think more people have religion than that but get ya point..
@@John-k6f9kIt's a small minded view though since God is infinite so a few thousand years would be like a weekend to him. Most religious people understand that God won't often do things on our watch
It is making a huge assumption. Very judgemental.
I live in the USA, born In the Uk. There isn’t a day that goes by that I dont think, “ gosh these people are so loud” or man, “ they’re so rude”. My pet peeve is when the server takes your plate as soon as you’re finished instead of waiting for the other diners to finish. They ask you if you’re done “working” on your meal, to which I reply, yes I’ve finished eating thank you. I find them generally so blunt, with little finesse or polish, especially your average male. They don’t know how to dress and love to carry around these enormous mugs of soda. On the plus side. They’re extremely positive, upbeat, fun, friendly and they get shit done.
Why do they all carry a drink of some kind every where they go. Gum chewing also does my head in, if their nerves are so bad go find another job.
You could be In the uk surrounded by grooming gangs. Swaths of imported criminals and a police force that runs away.
@@aleckerby1236 Spot on.
And some even support Trump!
I was all ready to be upset with you... but then that ending... You saved it. We both have to learn to accept that social norms are different in different regions. You really have no right to think me rude UNLESS I have come to your British town and broken some British tradition or etiquette. If I am just an American in America being American, then it's NOT RUDE!!! Its the norm. But calling it rude is very rude! So there! LOL Your comments are a cold cup of water in the face because I am a huge fan of British TV, I could name 15 favorite shows right now, and I have always assumed that I would enjoy the company of Brits and that they would enjoy my company as well. But maybe not. I spent half of yesterday lamenting the loss of Maggie Smith - truly a world wide treasure. So yeah... its very uncomfortable hearing an objective unfiltered opinion.
Regarding your pet peeve about servers, you just have to accept a lot of that is not their choice but is in fact the policy of the management of the restaurant chain. And the best way to address it is with your patronage. If you don't like how the servers behave at a given restaurant or chain, don't go back. Honestly, very little is in their control.
I live in Japan, and it's considered offensive to tip! It's awesome. No tip required. No worries. Never have to think about it. It should be the same everywhere.
Had a pushy American one evening in Florence. Was alone in the queue for a restaurant not yet open at the start of the queue and an American woman wanted to read the menu on a chalk board at the entrance. That is what she said! Was then joined by another person and then another! I just watched!!! My daughter finally arrived and I did the eyebrow rise at the group! The restaurant finally opened, the American group, being joined by another friend, surged in without a backward glance!!
The waiter asked if we wanted to sit next to them and I emphatically said “certainly not”! At which he gave a big grin!! As an after thought I wonder if that is how this group operated all over Europe? No wonder Some Americans get a bad name!
Yes, I've seen the same when I lived in Europe but unfortunately I suspect that post the catastrophic brexit the english are viewed with a similar contempt as Europeans have no way of distinguishing between the rude and exceptionalist ones and decent people.
@@PurityVendettaoh bless you! Having travelled to mainland Europe dozens of times since the democratic decision to leave the EU, the one single bad comment I’ve had is from a family member who lives abroad and doesn’t even know the UK anymore. From the rest it’s been surprise and respect for having the courage to stand alone. But you do you.
@@PurityVendettaWTF?
Well, that’s not acceptable in the US either. Can’t stand that!
@@Peter-gv6vf Sorry, if your powers of comprehension are matched to your level of literacy I can't help you.
Also if you put the fork behind one ear, and balance the knife between your top lip and nose… this indicates to the waiter that you are completely insane
If you poke them under your top lip so you have cutlery as walrus tusks ....the wait staff know to stop serving alcohol.
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
Yes, and she missed that two bread sticks up the nostrils indicates to serving staff you're ready for the next course. Also, you generally indicate you're ready to pay by writing "Bill Please" on your wife's forehead with a felt tip, though I have had that misunderstood and the waiter brought us a duck (it would possibly be a platypus in Australia)..
Funny. And some people can stick a spoon to their nose.
Wearing a hat indoors the height of bad manners
Regarding religion, we had an American colleague of my husband to stay who insisted that we held hands while he said grace. We are atheists and found it incredibly rude that someone should impose his religion on us in our own home. I was so shocked that l didn’t say anything but if it were to happen again l would certainly object.
@@lizbignell2820 you should have just said No Thank you but you go ahead. It is very rude to impose any religion on anyone but especially in their own home. He should have asked you if it would be ok if he said Grace? And even if you said yes, Holding hands No! People should not presume everyone thinks and feels the same way they do.
@@jeffthomas2364I agree I would have said you go ahead but I’d rather not thank you.
Exactly - as a Brit, you were not only shocked but also too polite to say anything, because we would feel that we were being rude, despite the American colleague's rudeness!
I would have laughed and started my meal... but, my parents are Irish, so that might be the garnish here.
@lizbignell2820 I would ask them if they knew where the door was because they were leaving immediately and would not be invited back.
Elsewhere, I saw a video by an American who had visited Europe, and spent a week with a group of people from various countries, including Britain. He said it suddenly hit him at the end of the week that he had no idea what any of them did for a living, what kind of house they lived in, how much money they made, what their educational qualifications were - they'd talked about all sorts of different subjects, but never even *mentioned* anything like that, which he said would be regarded as normal to talk about where he lived! He didn't know whether they didn't think stuff like that to be important, or whether they felt such details about their life were 'none of anyone else's business' - but, he said, even looking back on it some time later, he still found it astonishing.
Re. religion; I can think of one family I'd known for over 30 years, and they'd mentioned that the mother "sang in the church choir" - but I didn't know which church they belonged to until I went to the father's funeral. I can well believe an American would ask "Why didn't they ever *tell* you which church they belonged to?" - to which my answer would be "Why should they? That's none of my business!"
That's because in the UK and in Europe your job, your income and your religion don't define who you are. They're not your personality, and they can all be changed.
Also, on religion, we spent centuries killing each other over religion so no wonder we learned not to talk about it with strangers.
I think the main thing here in the U.K., in a social setting anyway, is that people generally don’t really care about what you do, how much you earn etc. As long as you’re not boring, you’re fine! We want banter, laughs, not a breakdown of your CV and how many zeros are at the end of your salary 😂
@@yasminm7157 Correct.
@@yasminm7157 yeah we are not snobs that look down or up .. If your not an arse we will prob like you, the rest is dressing
@@jackx4311 Perhaps the Europeans don't feel that they as individuals can be 'pigeonholed' for their character by simple facts such as Religion, House/Home size/style, Income .
(Neither do I, fwiw )
I’m an American and I can’t stand how loud people talk. In public places, I’ve heard some pretty disgusting cell phone conversations about extremely personal topics delivered in a loud voice in places like restaurants and coffee shops. I’ve always been bothered by this aspect of our culture.
Bill Bryson, a quote from an American author who wrote 'Notes from a Small Island' nails British attitudes to queuing...'not only do the British queue, they queue without being told to do so!'
It wasn't always so. I have pictures of people trying to board buses and trams in the 1920s and '30s which look like a rugby scrum. In 1941 it was made law that more than six people waiting for a bus had to form an orderly queue, and the same naturally happened in shops where most commodities were rationed, so by the end of the war the nation had habituated to forming a queue whenever there was a need for it. Thankfully it's a habit we've never lost.
@@davidjones332 There was a war on, and blackout conditions at night. Queuing helped prevent people getting run over in the dark.
@@davidjones332Thanks. You verify what my mum has always told me - that queuing in this country, UK, began with the onset of rationing in WW2.
In the UK I have literally seen people queuing up to queue
Knife and fork are not utensils...the name is cutlery.
True 👍
And definitely not "silverware" as I've heard some Americans refer to it. Interesting that they don't know what to call and don't know how to use it. I suppose the ultimate test would be a fully laid multi course laid table, including fish knives, soup spoons, etc,.
@@RoyCousins I often have a private chuckle when I think of the woman who didn`t know the National Anthem or how to curtsey when first married into the Royal Family, being seated at her first State Banquet.
Fly on the Wall time.
Silverware is simply the more expensive version of cutlery....used mainly at high end weddings etc....not really common household items.
Cutlery covers all table eating items whether standard or specific such as fish knife etc...
I often call knives and forks 'implements', but that's one of my foibles.
Regarding getting your bill (English for Check), we often have the opposite problem, in that it is hard to catch your server's eye to get your bill when you have finished eating, and you end up sitting waiting to leave for a lot longer than you would like. Even if you have declined the sweet menu, the servers seem to do their best to avoid catching your eye. You'd think that, having very obviously finished your meal, they'd offer you your bill almost immediately, but they overdo avoiding being rude and presenting it "too early" to the point of exasperation.
If the place is busy then it's a good idea to ask for the bill when you decline a dessert or coffee or whatever. If it's not, or you aren't in a hurry, just catch the server's eye when you are ready to pay.
I typically ask for it when I decline a dessert: "No thank you; just the check please."
In the US, servers often bring the check as soon as they think they can without annoying the diner(s), the simple reason being that if they (customers) have to wait too long to pay and leave - they'll probably leave a smaller tip.
@@Jim-the-Engineerthis is such an example of the difference in culture. Them bringing the bill makes us, non Americans, feel like we are being rushed out and that we can’t sit and chat and have a few beers etc. enjoy the night. But maybe it’s just a misunderstanding of culture. Could we stay at the table and we are taking the bill being given as an incorrect sign?
Since when did "check" become the standard English spelling? In Australia we would check out the cheque & pay it, with "bill" also being acceptable language to use, cause we will in reality, pay electronically, not by cheque
I have no idea where you eat out, but most places I've eaten at and every restaurant I've worked at, the service staff are _actively_ looking for people who have finished, especially if it's a busy service and there are occupied tables with bookings for later in the evening.
The loudness point is exactly the same as the last point about entitlement/selfishness/assertiveness in taking something in a communal situation.
If you are being loud you are monopolising the shared space in a sonic sense! If you conceptualise it by that principle of not taking up a big footprint, leaving space for others, (rather than some rule about noise levels) then whether you are used to loud or quiet places doesn't really change it. If you constantly aware of how much conceptual "space" you are taking up in life, then it's just natural to notice when you are taking up more than your fair share of the specific environment you're currently in, rather than some arbitrary loudness value, and you don't need to make different rules for different situations (e.g. library vs office vs rock concert), it's just a general principle that works everywhere!
Yes, Americans prioritise individual freedom above collective responsibility.
Yes if only America etc al would learn this!
Britain has lots to learn too, of course.
Extremely sensible. Now try explaining it to MAGA Americans. 🤬
OMG, mind your own business. This is why Americans are free to do and say whatever we want. Have you ever been to a concert in Scotland? Loudest, rudest people I have ever met.
Conversely, if a friend is hard of hearing, most Brits I've met won't speak up enough for the person to hear them. That's rude, isn't it?
Someone once told me that he had annoying neighbours and then added " now I know how Canada feels!"
Brutal - but funny!
It's like we're living over a meth lab...
As a Canadian, I appreciate this sentiment. 😂
Ahhh, Canada, the neighbour of the beast . . .
😂😂😂
"Can I get a..." This is generally seen as an American way of asking for something in shop/takeaway. It's also quite rude and grammatically incorrect. You can have one, but you can't get one, that's the job of the person you are asking.
Spot on but something that's been creeping into common usage in the UK, particularly amongst the younger generation. 🤨
@akaWooders oh, I've noticed. It's not good. And they don't finish with a 'please'.
Religion was the root of a lot of strife throughout the British Isles from the mid C16th until in to the C19th (and there are still some issues in some places). Having been there, we don't wish to go there again and it is one of the reasons that people as a rule do not wish to talk about or discuss religion. The UK generally is much more secular (and increasingly so) than the US. The most recent census had far more people saying 'no religion' than previously.
I'd rather say that my religion is personal to me and need not be of any interest to others.
That is my thoughts I’ve from Glasgow and I had to tell American preachers that handing out bibles or tracts to customers in my work is not going to go down well here as we have customers of multi faiths and no one wants preached at when they go into a fast food place.
When you see some preachers in USA I wonder are they Christian or just out to accumulate wealth for themselves!
Within the United Kingdom we need a greater Christian culture, but without the hard division of Anglican, Catholic and Free church traditions. Not everyone wants the same style of worship.
Shoving your religion down other people's throats is the rudest thing imaginable. It's important to respect other's beliefs, or lack of them.
@@pinknylon1121 I see and hear more people criticising those that have a belief in a religion than the other way around. Often to declare that you are a Christian in particular, invites a diatribe on how bad Christianity is, all from one small bigoted opinion and I suspect that is one of the main reasons why Christians shy away from discussions.
The placing of cutlery originally evolved in etiquette as a signal to the waiter. Straight together was a sign you were finished, crossed was a sign you were still eating.
As is the use of your napkin (serviette).
I really learned that lesson the hard way, on my first visit to usa I was with friends in a restaurant and towards the end of the meal I just couldn't hold myself any longer and had to go for a wee; I am one of those people who save the best of my food till last and I had a lovely chunk of meat and gravy and just the right amount of mashed potatoes left to enjoy it. I carefully and deliberately left my cutlery crossed so that the waiter would know I hadn't finished, dashed to the loo and dashed back only to find to my horror that my plate was gone!!! I was so upset and outraged that I most uncharacteristically demanded that it be replaced but really the meal was ruined for me.
It's so ingrained that even at home, eating my tea on my knee while watching the TV, when I finish I put my cutlery together neatly before getting up and taking them to the dishwasher.
Yup, one of the many British manners I was taught as a small child. It's automatic now, wherever I am.
05:30 London, England, alone on sofa. Just checked snack plate & and yeah, cutlery aligned by autopilot.
The reason you don’t move your seat on the plane without asking is because if there were , heaven forbid, an air crash they could determine who the person was by their seat number
Never talk about 1 religion, 2 money, or 3 politics.
Especially in a pub ... where alcohol will be involved.
No harm in a general discussion (or moan) but if it turns into a one-on-one confrontation, well ...
"The weather and everyone's health."
4 Football
Not talking about religion, money and politics is a class thing in the UK. It's taboo for the working classes. The more cultured/educated a social group, the more likely informed discussion happens about religion and politics.
Bollocks. If you are an atheist, politically engaged "have not" what is the point of keeping quiet?
Placing the knife and fork the way you describe, - knife on the right, fork turned upwards beside it, is not just an odd custom, it’s actually a sign to the waiter that you have finished eating. No matter how busy he or she is, a good waiter will spot this and come to clear the table as soon as they can. It’s much more civilised than trying to catch the water’s eye by raising an arm or waving, which they may not appreciate.
--- or snapping your fingers at the waiter!
Crossed knife and fork could be considered as the crossed bones on a pirate flag. A sign for the waiter not to expect a tip.
@@flitsertheo The crossed knife and fork also means you are not finished yet and dont clear the table.
@@ianm452 old story waiter on the QE2 some one snaps his fingers waiter goes up to him says i am not a dog dont snap fingers at me pal
I'm Australian, my mother was a waitress. She taught me that with knife and fork together the plate is "closed". You have finished eating. With knife and fork apart, the plate is "open", you have not finished eating.
A guest would be seated in my living room and I would let them know where the toilet (bathroom) is in my council flat. I would not show them my bedroom. As I always offer guests at least tea and biscuits there wouldn't be much point them being shown around the little kitchen.
Same here , as I do not do a tour of my house . Privacy is important .
I work for an advice charity in England. A few years ago we had a visiting American student for the summer who helped with the phone calls. Other people in the same room found it really hard to concentrate because she was so loud. She had a notice stuck over her workspace saying INDOOR VOICE! But she just couldn't help it. It was a relief for the rest of us when she finished her stint and we could hear ourselves think again. I didn't realise how true the "loud Americans" thing was until I met her.
One way to address that would be to turn up the volume on her phone. If she hears a loud voice, she will unconsciously lower hers.
@@nickd4310 I'm not sure this will work... my reaction would be to speak louder to match the incoming voice.
@@jmi5969 It's not intuitive, but it actually works. (I have worked the phones too.) You can try it out yourself.
@@jmi5969 If you have a poor phone connection you speak louder. You don't lower your voice because you can hardly hear the other person.
Try living in a Mediterranean Country, then you;ll know what is like to eat in a noisy environment. Its like eating at a pop concert.
Re queueing . . .
In the UK there may not actually be a physical line, but everybody who joins a 'notional' queue (at the bar in a pub, for instance) knows who was already there and, consequently, who arrived later.
The bar staff (in this example) also have a fairly good idea, but not complete as they have to be looking at what they're doing as well. It's quite common for a barperson (we rarely say "bartender") to ask "Who's next; you Sir?" and for the addressed person to say "No, he/she's next." Often, it's done wordlessly, with raised eyebrows and nods or gestures.
Yes, it is like that at the vets, you are all sitting in a waiting room but you have to keep track of who was there when you got there so you can take your turn.
Yes, bar staff usually have a pretty good idea who comes next. Waving a bank note will NOT get you preferential treatment. Stating that "no, this person was next" will always get you served second, even if you were actually 5th.
@@Canalcoholicthere is one exception at the bar: the regulars.
Works much less well for females waiting to be served. We’re regularly and routinely overlooked by bar staff. Sadly.
old days (1980's)go to the GP see about 10 people in waiting room you ask who is last> some one pipes up me and you wait untill they go in
You forget to mention that Americans like chopping up the food on their plates and then shovelling it into their gobs with a fork - usually with their right hand !
😮 😝 😝 gross!
You're never going to get them to do the knife/fork thing. They would find it overly fussy and not at all efficient.
I'm a Canadian and often eat an entire meal without using a fork. 😂 As to "shoving it into my gob" - not hardly. When eating with UK family (yes, family) or US friends, I'm often the last one finished. I ran a B&B for many years, with guest from over 80 different countries, and can say with some confidence that no one country takes the prize when it comes to manners. I wonder if you might be a difficult guest? 🤔
I can't work thst out either.
@@bdgies2721 If you ate a meal without using a fork what did you use .. your fingers, a spoon or just the knife?
Re getting a restaurant bill soon after the food is served . . .
Another reason this is not done in the UK is that it's common here not to decide what further course(s) one wants (if any) until after the main course is eaten, and whether or not to order further drinks (coffee, brandy, etc.) until the final food course is finished.
Servers routinely ask when clearing after each eaten course if further courses are wanted (and if not, the diners will anyway ask), will add the further items to the bill as the meal progresses, and will not present it until everyone has confirmed they want nothing more, so that it's definitively complete.
There may be a generational aspect to this. Not quite the same thing but there's a particular café I'm very fond of, run by a Scottish-Italian family (father from Salerno, mother and three children all Scottish-born), where you order your meal at the counter and they bring it to you. I've noticed that if the younger family members serve you they instinctively go to take payment immediately unless you ask them not to, whereas the parents are laid back and let you pay when you're done. Which is good because after you've had the meal you ordered, you might well be tempted by the selection of excellent cakes and pastries they bring in from an Italian-owned bakery nearby.
You can still add to the bill, they’re just leaving it with you so you don’t have to wait for them in order to pay when you’re finished. They’re not telling you they’re done with taking your order or to hurry up and leave, they’ll check back to see if you want anything else. They’re just giving you the option to pay as soon as you’re ready to leave. It’s actually more efficient for both sides that you don’t have to wait for them when you’re done.
They usually at least ask whether you want dessert before bringing the bill, I think. (U.S.)
@@walneygirlI think that in general, if you order at the counter then payment is taken at the time of ordering, if there is table service then payment is taken when the meal is finished
Right, and if I was British, with (by definition) nothing important to do or anywhere important to go, that would be fine. Most people eat and want to go, not sit around wasting time at a restaurant waiting for the bill. Wasting my time in not tolerated.
These things are rude in the UK, however, there is an increasing cohort of rude people.
Watching too many American programmes
This is a thing older people say. It's not true. I was a teen in the peak era of ASBOS and all the rest, and my generation was the worst. We're all about 50 now, looking down on Gen Z.
@@gordon1545 You have a point, certainly the most violent and dishonest generation were in their teens from mid 70s to early 80s. I think however they were able to be polite when not out mugging and stealing.
Celebrity culture and cocaine have influenced the kind of people who had low standards to begin with.
@@ziggarillo It's the American 'culture' slowly infecting them. I hear so many young people saying American words for things now, instead of the UK equivalents.
Also they don't seem to understand how phones work either... They always have them on speaker-phone... I don't want to hear your conversation.
If you change seats on an aeroplane without asking then if the plane crashes and catches fire the authorities may mistake your charred body for the person who was booked onto that seat..
I remember being in the bubble of a 747 (economy seating) when the flight attendant announced that boarding was complete and we could spread out to the available seats.
Before she’d finished her sentence one couple leapt from their seats and threw themselves onto a row each. God help anyone who got in their way.
I remember thinking that while they each had a row to themselves, once the flight was over they still wouldn’t have class.
Air travel displays humanity at its worst - apart from cabin crew who must be on medication to act with such tolerance of selfish idiots. Rant over
Knife and fork side by side is the standard way, it’s more natural for us because we use both to eat.
Good point. Americans are more likely to cut their food into pieces, then put down the knife and switch the fork to their right hand to eat one-handed.
Other cultures can be particular about utensil usage too. In Indonesia I was sometimes politely "corrected" for eating with just a fork. They traditionally use a spoon and fork, with the spoon in the right hand and the fork just to help load the spoon. Being unaccustomed to eating a main course with a spoon, I would leave it on the table and eat one-handed with the fork, which would often be picked up on by other diners.
Edit: Regarding utensil placement when finished, the Indonesians are similar to the British in that they place their spoon and fork in a certain way to indicate completion. Not parallel, but in approximately the "8.20" position with tips touching. Frequently corrected on that too before I learnt.
@@jaygee5693 A Chef will prepare your food and take time to make it look nice on the plate, then along comes an American who cuts it up into small pieces making it look a complete mess, akin to something you`d do to s little childs dinner.
@@admiralcraddock464 Right 😆 British CHILDREN have their meat cut into pieces for them. Americans don't grow out of it. . .
Not for Americans ,using just their hands to gorge on all that junk food;burgers,hot dogs ,pizzas,burritos.Champion eaters of the stuff!
@@admiralcraddock464 The paper or plastic throwaway plate just adds to the Americanness.
I'm an American cashier and I used to be a server, and my pet peeve is when I say "Hello, how are you?" to greet a customer and they blurt out their command. For example, at the grocery store they'll say "Bags!" In a restaurant they'll say "Coke" and so on. I'm always tempted to repeat what they said and ask "What about ____?" You like bags? You are a bag? What are we talking about here?
As an Aussie, I would totally respond to someone saying "bags" when asked how they are, with "you're a bag? oh you poor thing! Is there anything I can do to help you?" (while obviously not getting them a bag) & if I was fast enough thinking, I would add to it something like "actually, yes, I can see what you mean, you do have really bad bags under your eyes, don't you! You know what helps me with sleeping, I do ........ maybe you could try that to get rid of your bags?" (all while staring at the bags under their eyes & making them feel self conscious about the possibility that they have bags under their eyes)
And then THEY will complain about how 'rude' you are being to them. Hopefully, you have a manager that shall back you up.
During the Irish “Troubles” during the 70s-90s giving the wrong response to the question ‘Church or Chapel?’ could get you killed. Yet another reason why region is not discussed in the UK.
It is far older than that, in fact. The U.K. has a state religion. Being of the wrong religion could get you killed or jailed for centuries. Membership in the wrong religion could be perceived as lack of loyalty to the throne. The roots of This practice in the U.K. is not really decorum. It is self preservation.
American here...older than you Kalyn so maybe it's generational but I have always been taught that there is unspoken language to your cutlery in a restaurant that conveys if you have completed your meal or if you are merely pausing. Also as per the bill delivery is also a status level of the restaurant. If you are eating at say, a diner you're probably getting your bill shortly after your meal arrives. If you are eating at the Ritz, you will not be receiving your bill moments after you receive your meal.
Aye, my 1st thought was how do they know you've finished.
❤️ from Northeast England ❤️
@@oopsdidItypethatoutloud Right? The way I was taught. If you cross your cutlery you're merely pausing. If you place it like Kalyn showed in the video, cutlery side by side and pointing in 10 and 4 o'clock position. You have completed your meal and the server may remove your dish.
@@jliscorpiocrossing you're cutlery is considered rude in the UK,
Aye, though we leave them at 20 past 7 if we're not finished.
Crossing them could be bad luck, as it was meant to be an insult to the host or cook. I'd forgotten all about that until Chris, in the comment above, reminded me
❤️ from Northeast England ❤️
You will also be asked if you require anything else before the bill is made up. This gives you time to adjust your sitting position so you won't fall off the chair when the bill IS presented.
@7:54 In the example of shopping, and asking for assistance, in the UK, we would also use 'could' instead of 'can', as 'can' is an instruction, demanding and abrupt.
To my knowledge it is not normal to use a knife at all in the US….. and those who do use a knife will often put down the fork, to then free up the hand to use the knife. It is PAINFUL to watch.
Painful - I have an American Brother-in-Law who is left handed It's beyond painful watching him cut up his food at the start, and then eat it by pushing the fork around the place.😀😃😄
One hand must always remain free for the Colt....just in case...😂
An American friend working over here in the UK was asked to a very swanky official dinner to represent her firm: she was mortified when her boss brought in his wife to show her how to use cutlery - the rest of us who were going were relieved.
in NY and the earlier settled states they eat like the UK (especially if they're higher up the social scale), it's actually called New York Push. I've been told the reason USians eat like that is because in frontier times the knife was put down to show they were there in peace, but it was by their hand if things went west.
The way the British use a fork and knife is absolutely ridiculous. You know, that fork is curved for a reason, and it's not to try to balance peas on the back.convex side of the fork,
Definitely right about religion. And money is another one.
People would rather talk to strangers about their medical problems than religion or money
American: have you got a lot of money?
British person: I've got piles.
@@caw25sha😂😂😂
Some people like to talk about their medical problems way too much.
When you ask someone "How have you been?", or say "I hope you're well.", you don't really want to have to stop for 10 minutes to hear every detail about their ingrown toenail infection.
@@caw25sha 🤣
Still considered rude to talk about religion and money in the states..
It never hurts to say please & thank you 😊
The "polite" requests are also showing there's no assumption of status, despite one person working in the service role and the other the paying customer. Money isn't what gives you social standing to nearly the same extent.
I have social anxiety and even hate speaking to salespeople in shops. BUT, if someone skips a queue there is something that triggers in my brain and I will absolutely make sure they know how I feel. It might just be a disgusted look and head shake, but often I actually spoke up and said something.
For ME to do that shows how big a deal it is!
If you do that here in the States, you might get shot. (I'm only half joking.)
American here. House tours? No way. Not going to happen. And my family and I always put utensils on the plate after a meal.
In Australia it's very common to be in a store where people gather near the counter but not in a specific queue and when the staff ask "who's next?" you turn to someone who was there before you and say "are you being looked after?" Quite often that person has already been serves and is waiting for their items to be prepared but you would never push in front or not be considerate.
Yes, I have seen it work beautifully. It's the honour system with witnesses.
I've been using that technique in bars for decades, if you're asked, and you know it's not your turn, you say " No, this gentleman/lady was before me ", this will guarantee the barman/maid will remember your courtesy, and you'll definitely be served next ...
Aussie rule , great people .
Same here in Britain.
Doesn't work in front bars though
House tour - no way! I don't want anyone to see my place, especially upstairs and the bedrooms! Americans also can't hold and use a knife and fork properly
hahaha What!? You need to explain that
@@aliservan7188I think the OP means knife in left hand, fork in right hand!
I had a broken arm, so I had to eat Euro style. It was awkward. And holding a fork tines down all the time is even more awkward.
@aliservan7188 Every tool in the World has been designed with an optimum way of using it in mind - for efficiency and safety - the traditional British way of using knives and forks isn't to make life difficult, or to be petty, but is to maximise control, efficiency, and to allow elbows to be kept close to the body. Americans tend to eat like a 4 year old experiencing cutlery for the first time - it's extremely jarring and actually embarrassing in formal situations.
@zandvoort8616. Yes. They are overwhelmed with knife and fork.😂
My brothers and I travelled UK to the BiG Apple for a weekend. While there we were celebrating one of my brother's significant birthday. I booked a restaurant and specifically negotiated with the manager that we wanted a "British Dining experience"
He looked nonplussed, so I explained that in the UK we effectively rent there table as if it's in our own dining room. By all means check things are. ok, take and fulfil orders, but if they played the game we would reflect the hospitality shown.
Come the dinner we stayed at the table for about 4 and half hours. We were a party of 6 (Dad was there too) and we had a brilliant time. The resultant bill was just short of eye-watering but the tip was certainly of a size that the waiter confirmed was bigger than they would typically earn during a shift.
I returned to NYC a couple of months later and I noticed that for one night a month the restaurant was running "British Dining Experiences" on a Thursday night needed to be for a 6 seat minimum but service would be as required (no pushing to turn). It was regularly selling out
I’m British,husband is American.I have lots of things I can agree with,but you missed my pet peeve about Americans and that’s wearing hats in the house(unless for religious reasons) I don’t understand it and it really drives me mad.
I can see how that would annoy you, it doesn’t bother me as much as hats at the table!
Does that apply with women wearing hats in the house too?
My parents would be mortified if I wear a hat in the house. I always take my hat off whenever I enter any building.
@@juicyfruit4378Well anybody wearing a hat inside is a bit odd to be fair..
Agree, wearing a hat indoors is an absolute no no! I would consider it bad manners.
The closest you get to a tour in a British home, is when you say.
Can I use your toilet?
And then, they give you directions to it.
Many years ago, I had an American expat (from New York) as my project manager. He was from New York, but he had lived in Norway for a couple of decades. Lovely man. He sometimes talked about what it was like to go home to visit family and friends, or have them visiting him. He had gotten so used to people using their indoor voices when they talked that the had to go through a period of "social acclimatization" when he spent time with his loved ones from home. "We Americans don't really talk to each other. We shout, and I find it really invasive and draining now that I'm not used to it anymore." Amen to that, Brother!
I don't like when the servers interrupt your conversation so they can check in on you it's like you're deep in conversation with the person or group you're with in the server comes to check on you
Even worse is when one person or several in a family group are served several minutes before everyone else in the small group is served. Or when plates are removed from some, while others are eating.
There's a legal reason in the UK for them to check "Is everything OK?" as it gives them an opportunity to fix any problems and reduce the chance of complaints after and disputes over the bill.
Either when you're deep in conversation or you've got your mouth full and then you have to do that awkward trying to chew your food while also not choking just to end up smiling and nodding lol
Cant bear that. Its creepy insincere crap
How's your meal? Usually delivered in a high pitched insincere way. Once I complained that chicken was tough which was met with a giggle and the server best a nasty retreat,not to be seen again. No tip, bad review on trip advisor.
Many of these British social customs also apply in Europe.
indeed, often more extreme variants in scandinavia and germany, UK people are loud to us and Americans are extremely loud!
Sorry to be pedantic but could you please say the 'the rest of Europe' or 'elsewhere in Europe'. Implying the UK is not in Europe is likely to ruffle feathers. By which I mean MY feathers.
They apply everywhere that is civilised. Guess what that makes the US?
@@barrysteven5964 Since Brexit, you aren't in Europe.
@@barrysteven5964 British Isles are part of the European continent, UK left the political "club" the European Union. So geographically nothing has changed, politically, well, here we are in a very changed Britain.
Eta, like Norway, part of Europe not part of EU.
Most these things plus other things mentioned in the comment section were considered rude in America when I was young, but I am 80 years old.
Did I hear right? Twenty minutes to eat your meal, and the bill presented when you get your food? And Americans want tipping for this? In addition , when it comes to eating out it appears most Americans are still struggling with the concept of cutlery, they’re still eating with their fingers.
Lol, no, we don't struggle with cutlery.
@@1sothearyno they just don't know how to use them properly,
That’s not what happens regularly. I would say getting a bill right after receiving the food is more common in places where it’s normal to eat and go. The server might not even get tipped or the shift might divvy up communal tips.
What’s FAR more common is to get your meal, and have an attentive server watch for openings/lulls in conversation and come over to ask you if you need anything. That’s what makes or breaks a good server for me. I tip accordingly. Someone who knows how to do their job well.
What isn’t brought up enough are the bad servers that disappear and basically keep you hostage when you want to leave and you can’t pay.
You don't need a knife and fork for burgers. Ha!
I would not be able to eat my food in 20 mins
Never, ever, refer to someone's football team as a "franchise"
@andrewdale3695 Unless it's MK Dons.
Jesus, who does that ?????
You mean soccer, not football, right?
@@Poliss95 Was about to say exactly that. Franchise FC!
@@AD65 Americans. All major sports teams there are franchises that can be moved across the country and renamed at little notice, and frequently area.
I just wish Americans would learn the true meaning of “awesome”, and not apply it to everything they see and hear.
Our queuing thing isn't about being friendly and kind, as might be thought. It's the clearest example of enlightened self-interest you could ever see. If I don't want anyone jumping me in a queue then I must not jump anyone else in a queue, otherwise the system will break down.
The definition of anxiety is British people in an Italian queue. I'm saying this from experience.
My experience is that airlines usually ask you to stay in your allocated seat at least until the aircraft is airborne, (which will mean until the seat belt sign is switched off).
The reason is not (as some suggest) so they can identify your body in the event of a crash. Instead, especially on smaller aircraft, it's to ensure the aircraft is properly balanced. Takeoff is a critical moment, with the plane fully loaded with fuel, and the weight needs to be distributed correctly side-to-side and front-and-back.
Also, I expect the aircrew don't want to have to handle disputes between 'entitled' customers over who gets to sit where.
In addition, some people may have special dietary requirements or allergies, and there's the risk of mistakes if people aren't sitting in their expected places.
I was just about to board an aircraft the other day when I read these words of wisdom from the RAF: "In the event of engine failure you will always have sufficient power to reach the scene of the crash". Cheered me up no end....
💯
This is especially true on smaller aircraft eg an ATR. A friend of mine was cabin crew on an airline which used the Shorts 360, (the flying shed), and the flight deck always knew when a passenger had annoyed her as she would start clomping about and they would be playing with the trim tabs continously, to keep the plane level.
Putting cutlery on the plate after finishing is, in my mind, not only to signal finishing, but to avoid making an extra mess on the table.
Showing people around your house is a bit of a subjective one. You may show a close family member or friend around your new house the first time they visit after you'd just purchased it, or if someone was staying the night, but maybe wouldn't for a work colleague popping in for coffee. My house is tiny, if we have visitors and they want to use the toilet, unless you've shut the bedroom door, they'll see the whole thing on the way/en route to the only toilet in the upstairs bathroom anyway! Maybe this is a big house thing and it just isn't something necessay in small houses.
...that's what I pretty much came to say
This list of American habits paints Americans as rude (don't say please or thank you), loud-mouthed (go around yelling), faith-head (talk about religion) show-off (admire my house!) individualists (can't queue respectfully and trample over others), who exploit their service sector workers so they depend on tips (why servers are so desperate to turn over as many covers as possible). These are contributions to culture, politeness and respect every bit as nuanced and valuable as you'd expect from the nation that brought us spray-on cheese and Donald Trump (who is to humankind what spray-on cheese is to cheese).
Best comment here… 😜
Except you are not seeing the majority of the US represented. What you see are those who have “made it” financially enough to travel extensively. That is, they are accustomed “stepping on” anyone that gets in their way to achieve whatever they “want”. That is the “ugly American” seen around the world. The truth is: it’s a dang big country peopled by cultures as different as each country in Europe. The whole of Europe & Britain fit easily within the UK. Parts of some states are “evangelical Christian”, & it shows in asking questions regarding religions. Some parts do “offer house tours`’. Most do not, unless you are family & request it. And so on. The real truth is that none of these are true for all or even most Americans. The one point about talking loudly in general but especially in restaurants I will concede is probably true, & here is why: most Americans frequent restaurant Chains. These chains could be steakhouses, Mexican restaurants or any genre of food - but they have one thing in common: a template for business. This means piped in music, mostly loudly, crowds at peak times, & time limitations. So it could be a workday with an hour time limit for lunch. It could be a large group of friends getting together and having “fun” talking distances across the table. It seems there’s always some outside noise happening whether you live in the city or just the music’s turned up, or the place is made of stone and glass which reverberates the sound and makes it difficult to hear so you talk louder. It’s wonderful that European countries and Britain pay their servers a living wage no argument there. And yes, small business owners of restaurants expect their servers to make very good tips to supplement their income to an unsteady, but livable wage. But with the large dependence & the treatment of actual servants throughout Europe/Britain today and throughout history, I would not say that they have any room to talk about our servers in restaurants today.
@@sbyerley The thing that underlines the differences between our societies is that a grotesque specimen of humankind was actually chosen (and might be chosen again!) to lead the American nation. This, more than anything else shows that America truly is a foreign country.
@@bertharius9518 Yes Yes Yes
@@bertharius9518 Did you not hear? Biden dropped out.
Love your channel. I'm British and have some other ones. I'm not a very formal person and I'm open to other cultures, but I find these things take me back a bit:
1) Use of the fork whilst eating. Yes, we Brits have weird rules about the fork, and most people ignore them, but I don't really mean those. What is extremely rude is to dangle the fork off your right hand, elbow on the table, and stab at the food. It's not so much table manners, as just looking like you're really annoyed and disrespectful of the food and those around you. Prison is pretty much the only place you can eat like that.
2) Another table manners thing: talking with your mouth full. This is very rude in the UK.
3) Saying "Can I get" in a restaurant when ordering food. This takes the waiter or waitress out of the equation and assumes you're going to get it, and they *will* obey you. In the UK it's polite to say "May I have" or "Can I have", so you're giving the member of staff the choice if they want to serve you or not.
To end on a positive note, there are some things I love about manners in the US. When I visited the Empire State Building, I went up to the open air viewing platform at the top and I stood on the railings to get a clearer photo. The security guard said "Excuse me sir, don't do that". I was stunned. In the UK you'd probably get an "oi! Get awf there", or you may even be man-handled off the railings. Oh, and that's another thing - the security guard was a very pleasant lady in her 30s. In the UK, security guards are usually irritable blokes who were bullied at school and want to get their own back on the world. This was ten years ago, but it stays with me. I also rather liked how polite the waiters were in cafés and restaurants. I'm not sure I've ever been called "sir" before.
I don't think anyone would have an understanding! They would just think 'typical American being rude' 😀
Another restaurant thing in the UK that can come across as rude (although it is quite often done) is for the waiting staff to clear some people's plates, while others on the table are still eating - generally it's considered polite to wait until the whole table has finished before clearing anything. I could be wrong, but I would imagine that perhaps in the US waiters clear as and when individual's finish ?
They ask.
In my experience, the server always says something like "Can I clear away some of these empty plates?" - and it's seen as polite, not rude; and certainly not a hint to customers to "Finish your food and clear off!"
In even a small group some may not want a starter course, just a main, some may not want a dessert, others may not want coffee. Your wife may even tell you that you have had enough, the waiters have to juggle all the timings, they ask every one when they want their course/s served, ( also are you really taking your wife's advice). And all that with several different groups of diners .
Yeah they can’t wait to clear your plate. It’s so rude for the customers still eating, who just feel rushed.
@stephenp5836 Yes my late partner who spent time working in catering in the UK was really angry if a server cleated his plates when others were still eating on the table in the US.
Brit who's lived in the US over 20 years here.
No one in the US has ever offered me a tour of their home.
Never noticed any difference in speed of delivery of the check after a meal.
Nobody in either cares what you do with your utensils nowadays.
Americans are by no means all loud, not all UK people are quiet, it's a bit of a myth really.
Americans are just as likely to say thank you.
Generalizing about religious conversation is hazardous. Really depends where you are and who you're with, in both places.
Jumping a line is still frowned upon in the US. Watch any queue in a US airport when boarding. Totally normal.
I really don't recognize any of your points from my experience.
Finally! As an American I can only speak to my own experience here (obviously), but none of this rings true as accepted or normal American behavior. Rudeness is rudeness here just like it is everywhere else.
or people will notice the utensils thing and not say anything ....as a posh Brit though ( private schools, oxford, the cavalry...yes all that ) a while back it was embarrassing when a Dutch born US wife ( spent her girlhood hiding in ditches as Stukas dive - bombed her country ....digression ...but why did so many of her native countrymen join the SS....er.... ) ...anyway...digression.. ...at some point during her dinner party she drew her US husband`s attention to my knife and fork handling as if to say ...well you can guess :):)
Same, 18 years in the US as a Brit and i concur.
yes agree. American who has lived in the UK for 15 years.
I don't agree about leaving your used utensils anywhere. I occasionally have seen people leaving there greasy utensils on the table; gross.
Dropping your cutlery like an animal isn't just rude, it's a sign of ignorance, in my opinion. In European culture, placing your knife and fork together is a signal to the waiter that you have finished eating and that he or she may remove your plate. I'm not sure how waiters in the US can possibly work this out, otherwise. I guess they're so busy badgering people during their meal that they just 'know'.
@iansan I hope you’ll forgive me, but what you said did make me laugh - the image of animals just dropping their cutlery any old way. 😊
@@GreenWhitePurple It is a funny image, but when people simply leave their knife and fork any old way, tghat's exactly what it looks like (either that or a localised explosion) 😀
It’s literally exactly the same here in the states. I’m 40 - never once have I seen anyone throw down their forks and knives when finished eating. If anything, we tend to put all of the plates together and place the knives and forks on top in an attempt to help out the waitstaff and make clean up easier on them.
I'm guessing, empty plates. Plus, I've never seen my cat drop cutlery so not sure what you mean.
And not just in restaurants.... In someone's home as well, including your own. Much easier to clear the table & less likely a utensil will fall on the table or floor.