That last point is so good. It’s so frustrating when the extroverts in my life immediately fill in the gap with more words and more questions or thoughts.
I don't understand why anyone thinks it's such a challenge to get an introvert to "open up." I tend to be quiet in groups because as the number of people increase the depth of conversation decreases. I cannot talk about nothing. When someone lightly asks "what have you been up to lately," the bland banal reply that extroverts seem to expect actually takes a lot of effort. It's so much easier -- and genuine -- to take a few moments to sort out what's I've been doing and find a way to express it well. Anything less feels so superficial and phony that I can't stand it. "Faking it" is very stressful. Ask real questions about real things and you'll learn a lot about me pretty quickly.
@@AntoinetteGriffin Thank you for your reply. When I first noted this video I thought it would be the typical "We have to draw them out of their shells" nonsense, but by the end it becomes clear that you present this from the Introvert's perspective. Here's an interesting juxtaposition. On more than one occasion, when someone has gotten to know me well enough to be a close friend, they will sometimes admit that talking to me can be discomforting, they find themselves revealing personal details that they normally keep to themselves. Just who has more trouble "opening up?"
@@gmansard641 Very good observation on your part! As a fellow introvert you are probably a good listener which is the reason they feel comfortable sharing personal details with you that they may not feel comfortable sharing with others. Thank you for your kind and insightful comments!
Strange. Actually as an Ambivert, I unconsciously switched my way to interact with them. I ask opinion about things and I don't push too much for answers, even though, I chat as an extrovert and it s very difficult to me to talk less 😅
Great question! Be the one who takes the initiative. Being an introvert, your natural communication style is likely to resonate with fellow introverts. By being intentional and taking the initiative they will likely respond well to you.
I totally agree! I actually highlight something similar to what you are referring to in my video: "The Nice But Self Centered Communicator". Thank you for your comment and thanks for watching!
Some of these introverts have romantic hearts so that's the trade-off. Sure they're shy or whatever but they like when you touch them, and if they like you, when you get close to them. Sometimes that's preferable to talking. That's fine with me because I like being close to the introverted woman I like.
so,- past introvert (though possibly cynic with issues??) however possible it may be, now leaning extroverted the person who really got me to open up intrigued me ig? loud and boastful and overly emotional, in contrast to my introvert self lonely and in the depths of despair bla bla, they caught my attention, sure at first it caught me off guard and confused me, cuz why would they want anything to do with _me_ , forever lost in my own mind and someone generally quite spoken (at the time ofc) They asked me for my number, taken aback and slightly excited, i handed it over and yeah thats when the chaos came forth and out into the open At long last, someone would take the time to listen to the blooming ideas prancing around in my head like a rotisserie chicken to wii music, showing great interest and even interacting, sharing their own opinions and round off fantasies before long i reluctantly started calling them a friend and well, fascinated by this new light, started taking on their own qualities, sort of mimicking their behaviour or maybe more so matching their energy until it became a habit gradually, i started opening up to people and they helped me discover parts of myself i never knew ive hidden from all this time [if any of this makes sense????] now i definitely find that one on one conversation works great with most when getting to know new people and that spark of “oh? you understand me?” you see in anothers eyes when they see theyre actuallt being _listened to_ is always a gem to see
I have a friend and she's introvert. She never initiate message i always do.and when i ask her to talk. She says like i have nothing that much special to talk. But when i talk she replied. Don't know what to do. Like if i didn't text her month she'll never do. But when i initiate she replied. Don't know she valued me or just replying.
Is it hard for u to talk about serious issues? Like Confrontation? How can i get an introvert to talk about his emotions? He said nothing at all.. Not even a goodbye or tht he wanna end contact.. He likes me.. N was curious n fascinated by me.. A secret Admirer.. But he isn't allowed to date me as he is in a rs.. with house n child. In the beginning he told me how he felt n tht it is serious.. I told him how I feel n tht he just should say anything... He told me we gonna meet again.. But after getting into this serious talk about emotions he shut it down n go quite.. Wht should i do
We never know what is going through the other person's head! Introverts process internally, so it can take longer before they feel comfortable speaking until they think things through.
There are many extroverts who are confused by introverts. My goal is to help them understand how to better connect..That being said, thank you for sharing your thoughts..
Hi Kartik, I will be doing more videos in the future related to this topic for the introvert (I am one also). However, if you feel that this video would help others understand you and communicate with you better as an introvert, then share it with them!
Thank you so much madam for your video... I have a new friend who is an introvert and I really need him to open up to me about his problems and help him..
Why do extroverts feel compelled to get introverts to "open up?" Why can't they just accept us as we are? Or maybe we should try to get them to shut up and listen and think before they blabber for a change.
Michele, as an introvert, this is why I made this video. To help extroverts better understand and how to communicate with introverts. Thank you for watching.
Thanks for the question, Sarah. Introverts like to mentally process before speaking. They prefer to think to speak, and extroverts prefer to speak to think.
Hi Antoinette great content on this and all other videos you made and I got to see. Helped me better understand my introvert child he is 11 yrs and quite an introvert... and he brother 8 yrs is on the opposite of the scale 🙂 so for getting to play with them and find a comn ground sometimes is chalanging. Any advise on how to bring the introvert closer to a middle ground and how to bring the extrovert closer to the same middle ground especially for children, brothers that have to spend so much time together... But I can definitely see when the big brother (introvert) just had enough of bit of us... and needs his quiet time... But does not know how to say it. Now I know I need to pay more attention and give this quiet time and space 🎉🙏
Hi Cristian, thank you for your kind comments and your question about your sons. My first thoughts would be to let your introverted son know that you "get" him and understand his need for quiet/solitude time, and that is very normal. Perhaps even suggest a joint activity for a short period of time with the permission for him to then do his own thing after that period of time so that he doesn't feel "stuck" in the activity/socializing for a long period of time. So many introverts feel like others don't understand them, so letting him know you do will go a long way!!
Interesting. As an extrovert, I am wondering how interoverts do in a required group setting at work, school, and such in a short window of time to accomplish the goal? Yeah I get that patience is a virtue that introverts could have but at the same time, it a matter of getting things done.
Although I can't speak for all introverts, many are trying to make sure everything is researched and correct before moving forward. You are correct in that many times we need to focus on progress rather than perfection.
I’m asking him so politely always about everything but somehow he is not that much giving me effort to really answer that and that’s why sometime I am worried that he really care or he really mean it or he’s not having any feelings it’s too hard for me to understand him give me any tips please to make him comfortable with me to ask some deep conversations
It takes time, however, be the one who goes first! It's easier for others to trust us and feel more comfortable once we've revealed things about ourselves, and show that we are patient but interested in listening to the other person share. Hope this helps--thanks for watching!
Heellp !! :) I like the way you talk and explain things , therefore I dare to ask this. I feel very attached to someone special, who is very introvert . Its like you described him in your video... I know for a fact he does not want to cut the contact with me, and we are just being at the beginning of a friendship. But he just does not answer my emails , after I said no to a meeting , just to postpone it...A week ago...I am desperate to do the communication his style , just do not know how and do not want to push either !! :)And my patience is reaching my limit . Thank you !!!
Hi Lily! Patience will be a great virtue for you in this endeavor! And by postponing a meeting, he may have pulled back to protect himself. If he took a step forward and you did not, you may need to take several steps forward over time before seeing any reciprocation. Have patience!
True I think there's an energy between them. Introverts may not talk much but they sometimes like being close to the other person and romantic gestures because they can have big hearts and express their feelings that way.
I don't know if she's an introvert but in person she's really shy and only talk when you talk to her, but when I chat her she responds hours after or even a day and I respect her and sometimes she doesn't reply and leave me on delivered. Is it a sign she's not interested to me or she is interested to someone?
Without understanding more about the situation I can't give you a definite answer, as it could be for a variety of reasons. However, since she is slow to respond, you may want to initiate chatting less frequently and taking longer to respond on your end, as well. It will be difficult, but you will thank yourself for it and you can then observe to see if there are any changes in her communication as a result.
@@AntoinetteGriffin The problem is We just started chatting this week and she left me on delivered last night, but I didn't reply, so what should I do?
Hi Shlomo, thanks for watching! My goal is to help viewers become more confident and enhance their connections with others. Thanks for sharing that you're an ambivert. I slide on the scale from introvert to ambivert depending on the situation. :) I am going to check out your channel!
@@AntoinetteGriffin Awesome! I love that goal! Very interesting about you being a bit of both. My channel is not on this topic; it's about mindset and growing on youtube. (My banner needs ti to be changed) 💥
For speaking, training or coaching inquiries, contact agriffin@griffdevelopment.com or visit www.GriffDevelopment.com
asking an introvert to open up is like asking an extrovert to shut up
LOL--that is funny!
That was very helpful I have a friend who is a introvert and I'm trying to find more ways to conversate with her making most comfortable for her.
Thank you! I am so glad you found it helpful. Thank you for taking the time to comment and also to subscribe to my channel!!
That last point is so good. It’s so frustrating when the extroverts in my life immediately fill in the gap with more words and more questions or thoughts.
Thanks April! I feel the same way! It can feel so exhausting.
I don't understand why anyone thinks it's such a challenge to get an introvert to "open up." I tend to be quiet in groups because as the number of people increase the depth of conversation decreases. I cannot talk about nothing. When someone lightly asks "what have you been up to lately," the bland banal reply that extroverts seem to expect actually takes a lot of effort. It's so much easier -- and genuine -- to take a few moments to sort out what's I've been doing and find a way to express it well. Anything less feels so superficial and phony that I can't stand it. "Faking it" is very stressful.
Ask real questions about real things and you'll learn a lot about me pretty quickly.
I SO appreciate your thoughts regarding this! As an introvert who also is not a fan of superficial conversation, I really appreciate your comments.
@@AntoinetteGriffin Thank you for your reply. When I first noted this video I thought it would be the typical "We have to draw them out of their shells" nonsense, but by the end it becomes clear that you present this from the Introvert's perspective.
Here's an interesting juxtaposition. On more than one occasion, when someone has gotten to know me well enough to be a close friend, they will sometimes admit that talking to me can be discomforting, they find themselves revealing personal details that they normally keep to themselves. Just who has more trouble "opening up?"
@@gmansard641 Very good observation on your part! As a fellow introvert you are probably a good listener which is the reason they feel comfortable sharing personal details with you that they may not feel comfortable sharing with others. Thank you for your kind and insightful comments!
Yes..maybe introverts need a manual for extraverts. To deal with mindless small talk really is a challenge.
I am the introvert and it just feels so good to be understood.
I am glad you feel understood! I know the feeling. :)
My 18 year old son is an introvert, and this helps me so much. Thank you!!
Thank you for commenting, Virginia! I am glad that you found it helpful!
just don't ask 10 questions at once, ask one and give them time to answer...
I agree Steve! Give those of us who are introverted time to think before we respond rather than firing off another question! Thanks for watching!
Strange. Actually as an Ambivert, I unconsciously switched my way to interact with them. I ask opinion about things and I don't push too much for answers, even though, I chat as an extrovert and it s very difficult to me to talk less 😅
Thank you for sharing your comments Francesca!
Same here.
Hello, I’m a fellow ambivert! 👋
Me too!
How to talk when you’re both introverts?
Great question! Be the one who takes the initiative. Being an introvert, your natural communication style is likely to resonate with fellow introverts. By being intentional and taking the initiative they will likely respond well to you.
When you are surrounded with narcissist opening up is meaningless. If the company you are in open minded then a person can open up.
I totally agree! I actually highlight something similar to what you are referring to in my video: "The Nice But Self Centered Communicator". Thank you for your comment and thanks for watching!
Some of these introverts have romantic hearts so that's the trade-off. Sure they're shy or whatever but they like when you touch them, and if they like you, when you get close to them. Sometimes that's preferable to talking. That's fine with me because I like being close to the introverted woman I like.
so,- past introvert (though possibly cynic with issues??) however possible it may be, now leaning extroverted
the person who really got me to open up
intrigued me ig?
loud and boastful and overly emotional, in contrast to my introvert self
lonely and in the depths of despair bla bla, they caught my attention, sure at first it caught me off guard and confused me, cuz why would they want anything to do with _me_ , forever lost in my own mind and someone generally quite spoken (at the time ofc)
They asked me for my number, taken aback and slightly excited, i handed it over
and yeah thats when the chaos came forth and out into the open
At long last, someone would take the time to listen to the blooming ideas prancing around in my head like a rotisserie chicken to wii music, showing great interest and even interacting, sharing their own opinions and round off fantasies
before long i reluctantly started calling them a friend and well, fascinated by this new light, started taking on their own qualities, sort of mimicking their behaviour or maybe more so matching their energy until it became a habit
gradually, i started opening up to people and they helped me discover parts of myself i never knew ive hidden from all this time
[if any of this makes sense????]
now i definitely find that one on one conversation works great with most when getting to know new people and that spark of “oh? you understand me?” you see in anothers eyes when they see theyre actuallt being _listened to_ is always a gem to see
Thank you for sharing! I agree about seeing the spark in someone's eyes when they feel understood! Great insight!
Lol , Get out of my heaaaad!!!
Thank you SO much! You made my day!
If I can like this video 1000 times I definitely would.
Thank you! I appreciate your kind words!
As an introvert I feel seen
Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment, Bloomingtales! Feeling seen is so important.
I have a friend and she's introvert. She never initiate message i always do.and when i ask her to talk. She says like i have nothing that much special to talk. But when i talk she replied. Don't know what to do. Like if i didn't text her month she'll never do. But when i initiate she replied. Don't know she valued me or just replying.
It has to be frustrating to not know if your friend values you or not. Some people just are not good with initiating.
Is it hard for u to talk about serious issues? Like Confrontation? How can i get an introvert to talk about his emotions? He said nothing at all.. Not even a goodbye or tht he wanna end contact.. He likes me.. N was curious n fascinated by me.. A secret Admirer.. But he isn't allowed to date me as he is in a rs.. with house n child. In the beginning he told me how he felt n tht it is serious.. I told him how I feel n tht he just should say anything...
He told me we gonna meet again.. But after getting into this serious talk about emotions he shut it down n go quite.. Wht should i do
We never know what is going through the other person's head! Introverts process internally, so it can take longer before they feel comfortable speaking until they think things through.
Leave them alone. They will appreciate it
I'm an introvert and I. Can relate to that
I am so glad it resonated with you Arti Rose! Thank you for watching!
@@AntoinetteGriffin thanks 😊🙂😊 for replying and nice video
Stupid idea. They are introvert.. you want them open up for what.. they are not mental or selfish. They are just who they are.
There are many extroverts who are confused by introverts. My goal is to help them understand how to better connect..That being said, thank you for sharing your thoughts..
This is actual gold
Thank you for the kind words, Gunn3r! I appreciate you watching.
You’re more than amazing
Thank you for your kind words Manar!
What if I am an introvert ? 🙂
Hi Kartik, I will be doing more videos in the future related to this topic for the introvert (I am one also). However, if you feel that this video would help others understand you and communicate with you better as an introvert, then share it with them!
Thanks a lot for these tips! :)
You are so welcome Abhirup! I am glad you found them helpful.
Thank you so much madam for your video... I have a new friend who is an introvert and I really need him to open up to me about his problems and help him..
I am glad you found it helpful SNEHA KT! Please let me know if there are any other topics you would like to see regarding interacting with introverts.
@@AntoinetteGriffin Ma'am how do I get his attention... He is always escape from me...!😞
@@snehakt5007 is your friend your crush? Lol
@@subramaniannk4255 It's not about Love
Sound like Slow Thinkers
Inward processors. Thinking things through before verbalizing thoughts
Why do extroverts feel compelled to get introverts to "open up?" Why can't they just accept us as we are? Or maybe we should try to get them to shut up and listen and think before they blabber for a change.
Michele, as an introvert, this is why I made this video. To help extroverts better understand and how to communicate with introverts. Thank you for watching.
Because we are seeking connection. The silence feels like disconnection to us.
Why do they need time to process the words?
Thanks for the question, Sarah. Introverts like to mentally process before speaking. They prefer to think to speak, and extroverts prefer to speak to think.
Buenas tardes
I really appreciate this advice.
Thank you for watching and for your kind comment, Ann!
This is such a good video, you are underrated my queen ❤️
Thank you for making my day!
Hi Antoinette great content on this and all other videos you made and I got to see. Helped me better understand my introvert child he is 11 yrs and quite an introvert... and he brother 8 yrs is on the opposite of the scale 🙂 so for getting to play with them and find a comn ground sometimes is chalanging. Any advise on how to bring the introvert closer to a middle ground and how to bring the extrovert closer to the same middle ground especially for children, brothers that have to spend so much time together... But I can definitely see when the big brother (introvert) just had enough of bit of us... and needs his quiet time... But does not know how to say it. Now I know I need to pay more attention and give this quiet time and space 🎉🙏
Hi Cristian, thank you for your kind comments and your question about your sons. My first thoughts would be to let your introverted son know that you "get" him and understand his need for quiet/solitude time, and that is very normal. Perhaps even suggest a joint activity for a short period of time with the permission for him to then do his own thing after that period of time so that he doesn't feel "stuck" in the activity/socializing for a long period of time. So many introverts feel like others don't understand them, so letting him know you do will go a long way!!
Interesting. As an extrovert, I am wondering how interoverts do in a required group setting at work, school, and such in a short window of time to accomplish the goal?
Yeah I get that patience is a virtue that introverts could have but at the same time, it a matter of getting things done.
Although I can't speak for all introverts, many are trying to make sure everything is researched and correct before moving forward. You are correct in that many times we need to focus on progress rather than perfection.
I’m asking him so politely always about everything but somehow he is not that much giving me effort to really answer that and that’s why sometime I am worried that he really care or he really mean it or he’s not having any feelings it’s too hard for me to understand him give me any tips please to make him comfortable with me to ask some deep conversations
Just be patient and don't go overboard on the questions. Learn to appreciate the quiet. Sometimes it's okay to just "be" without talking.
lol ask them open ended questions
They do appreciate deep conversation. :) Thank you for watching!
How to get an introvert open up if you are also an introvert?
It takes time, however, be the one who goes first! It's easier for others to trust us and feel more comfortable once we've revealed things about ourselves, and show that we are patient but interested in listening to the other person share. Hope this helps--thanks for watching!
Introvert are like cyclists, they do what they want and the rest of us have to adapt..,
That is a funny analogy! Thank you for watching!
@@AntoinetteGriffin😅
Heellp !! :) I like the way you talk and explain things , therefore I dare to ask this. I feel very attached to someone special, who is very introvert . Its like you described him in your video... I know for a fact he does not want to cut the contact with me, and we are just being at the beginning of a friendship. But he just does not answer my emails , after I said no to a meeting , just to postpone it...A week ago...I am desperate to do the communication his style , just do not know how and do not want to push either !! :)And my patience is reaching my limit . Thank you !!!
Hi Lily! Patience will be a great virtue for you in this endeavor! And by postponing a meeting, he may have pulled back to protect himself. If he took a step forward and you did not, you may need to take several steps forward over time before seeing any reciprocation. Have patience!
@@AntoinetteGriffin Thank you so much for your thoughts and time ! Yes , patience is always Gold. :)
it's hard i swearr
You are right, it can be a challenge! Thanks for watching, Aliza!
I can't
introverts only open up to another introvert.
Maybe because the introvert knows how to get the other introvert to open up! :)
@@AntoinetteGriffin may be you're right.
True I think there's an energy between them. Introverts may not talk much but they sometimes like being close to the other person and romantic gestures because they can have big hearts and express their feelings that way.
I don't know if she's an introvert but in person she's really shy and only talk when you talk to her, but when I chat her she responds hours after or even a day and I respect her and sometimes she doesn't reply and leave me on delivered. Is it a sign she's not interested to me or she is interested to someone?
Without understanding more about the situation I can't give you a definite answer, as it could be for a variety of reasons. However, since she is slow to respond, you may want to initiate chatting less frequently and taking longer to respond on your end, as well. It will be difficult, but you will thank yourself for it and you can then observe to see if there are any changes in her communication as a result.
@@AntoinetteGriffin The problem is We just started chatting this week and she left me on delivered last night, but I didn't reply, so what should I do?
and also I'm so bad at chatting😭 I don't even know how to start deep talks
@@nekuodah1189 asking questions that are not too personal in the beginning! Small talk before deep talk!
I am an ambivert. 🙂 What is your goal with your channel?
Hi Shlomo, thanks for watching! My goal is to help viewers become more confident and enhance their connections with others. Thanks for sharing that you're an ambivert. I slide on the scale from introvert to ambivert depending on the situation. :) I am going to check out your channel!
@@AntoinetteGriffin Awesome! I love that goal! Very interesting about you being a bit of both. My channel is not on this topic; it's about mindset and growing on youtube. (My banner needs ti to be changed) 💥