I am a late diagnosed autistic adult. Growing up, my parents knew there was something different about me but never got me checked out. They never heard of autism before, and there weren’t many resources in the 80’s. I think because we had the gospel in our home (we are Latter Day Saints) my parents were able to listen to the Holy Ghost and accommodate for my needs. One of the best things they did for me as a teenager is this: they realized I needed to understand the logic behind certain rules or way of doing things in order to be able to move forward. They understood what appeared as me arguing with them was not arguing. I was asking all the questions seeking to understand. Once I understood the why behind their decisions or rules, I could move forward without any conflict. Another thing they caught onto that really helped me: was any time we were in a new environment with new people, or after church meetings and my dad would socialize instead of going straight to the car, I would become very agitated and act out. Instead of correcting the behavior, they saught to understand why the behavior. They learned I didn’t know what was going on and what I was supposed to be doing, so I felt out of control and acted out. So next time in those situations they would get my direct attention and say to me, this is what we are doing right now and this is how to behave. I would immediately feel calm and like a new computer program had been entered and be able to behave appropriately.
This is some amazing analysis! It sounds like your parents learned the value of pre-teaching you and laying out the expectations. That's a huge part of Teaching Self-Government! It keeps anxieties much lower and helps keep things consistent, which is super helpful for people with Autism. There are lots of families with autism that use TSG and see so much success in unifying their family and promoting healthy communication and relationships.
I am a late diagnosed autistic adult. Growing up, my parents knew there was something different about me but never got me checked out. They never heard of autism before, and there weren’t many resources in the 80’s. I think because we had the gospel in our home (we are Latter Day Saints) my parents were able to listen to the Holy Ghost and accommodate for my needs. One of the best things they did for me as a teenager is this: they realized I needed to understand the logic behind certain rules or way of doing things in order to be able to move forward. They understood what appeared as me arguing with them was not arguing. I was asking all the questions seeking to understand. Once I understood the why behind their decisions or rules, I could move forward without any conflict. Another thing they caught onto that really helped me: was any time we were in a new environment with new people, or after church meetings and my dad would socialize instead of going straight to the car, I would become very agitated and act out. Instead of correcting the behavior, they saught to understand why the behavior. They learned I didn’t know what was going on and what I was supposed to be doing, so I felt out of control and acted out. So next time in those situations they would get my direct attention and say to me, this is what we are doing right now and this is how to behave. I would immediately feel calm and like a new computer program had been entered and be able to behave appropriately.
This is some amazing analysis! It sounds like your parents learned the value of pre-teaching you and laying out the expectations. That's a huge part of Teaching Self-Government! It keeps anxieties much lower and helps keep things consistent, which is super helpful for people with Autism. There are lots of families with autism that use TSG and see so much success in unifying their family and promoting healthy communication and relationships.
I like “ cuddling and babying them is the worst thing we can do”
How help teenager with drug or alcohol addiction
How help a bipolar teenager
How help a teenager with don’t live anymore
How help a nonverbal child