I agree. Not only long articles, long videos as well. I've watched many videos by writers that drone on and on without ever providing the meat and potatoes. Your video, sir was all meat and potatoes from first to last word. Thank you.
I am literally writing a short story at this moment and I was so clueless on how to show or describe what my character was thinking, really helped me out thanks for explaining it in the best way.
I've watched many videos by writers that drone on and on without ever providing the meat and potatoes. Your video, sir was all meat and potatoes from first to last word. Thank you.
Glad to hear it! One of my goals with the channel was to provide helpful, straight-to-the-point writing advice, so I'm glad I succeeded in that regard. Thanks for watching!
This is great. I have a place where I'm going to use some internal dialogue and you're pointing out the difference between direct and indirect internal dialogue will be very useful for the scene. In the late 19th century, My 18 year old main character is meeting with a 40 year old male authority figure in his office with no one else present. She offers to make tea for the both of them, as he has the means for her to do so there in his office. She serves him his tea and the two of them sit and she bluntly confronts him about his morally reprehensible behavior and indicates how she is going to see to it that he's prevented from behaving that way ever again. She takes a sip of tea as he stands, loudly verbally attacks her and pick up an item from his desk and throws it against the wall. My protagonist will then express indirect dialogue to the reader indicating she had anticipated such a reaction, and she will take another sip of tea as the heavy item slams against the wall of his office. This will be much better than her simply expressing a direct internal dialogue to the reader.
Do you mind sharing what your book is about? I’m interested I know that it’s not published yet, but I would be interested in reading it. I want to know the plot.
@AutisticBrain it's difficult to classify. It has elements of a fictional biography. I am by no means a professional so I'm not sure if my work would fit any particular category nor that I would know it did. Basically it's my protagonist versus the 19th century. I will admit this has been done before to some degree with Jane Eyre. But I'm taking it in some pretty extreme directions Gathering all sorts of 19th century inspiration from various sources and trying to fit it all-in-one work. In addition to historical occurrence and the occasional real historical figure showing up, I've included elements of Verne, the Brontë sisters, Zola, many other 19th century sources. Also I'm a recent fan of Philip K Dick, and a central element of my story is that my protagonist has questionable mental composition. And this is left purposefully vague. I'm intentionally trying to subvert Miny expectations, but trying to focus on subverting 19th century expectations. I'm building the narrative as if it were to be published in the 19th century, and would be popular at the time, and I would very likely be imprisoned for writing it. As I have stated, but wish to emphasize, I'm not a professional writer. Right now this historical fiction is a collection of scenes, characters, events, places, that fit a coherent overall narrative. At least I think it's coherent.
@@AutisticBrain Only in the 19th century would I be arrested. Lets see... Religious Criticism. Sexual Content as defined at the time (a detailed list would more than triple this post's size), homosexuality and transgender characters (19th century society barely made any distinction), prostitution, violence and crime, challenging gender roles, miscegenation, nonconformist epidermotomy, feminism ("female rights"), morbid humor, nudism, percociousness, penitential crucifixion, nude art, and birth control. And quite a few things I won't mention in a youtube post.
Something I have found helpful as a writer is to constantly consider the narrative to be through the protagonist's eyes. Since it is already their opinions being shown, an internal dialogue should be a remark about their situation or another character. [She's beautiful] in the case of a shy protag, or [I'm definitely going to smash his car later tonight,] if the protag has been wronged.
I've never used direct thoughts in my writing. The only reason I'm doing it now is because I have a character that's sending a telepathic message. I had no idea what the correct format was for writing thoughts so I had to look it up. So thanks!
You've found a terrific niche, Brandon. Short, insightful, and immediately actionable. There's a role for the longer theory pieces out there, but you stuff is extremely helpful. I don't know anything about TH-cam, but if there were a way for you to catalogue or index these to be searchable by subject, that would be even more helpful.
If you click on his channel you'll see some tabs (Home, Video, Playlists, etc.) The Playlists are sorted into broad topics--maybe that helps already? It's easier to find specific topics within those at least. Other than that you can always search for terms on his channel page directly and it'll show you videos that have those in the title :)
Having finally decided to write my first novel, I have found Brandon's videos to be excellent. His use of examples are terrific and his enthusiasm for writing and his encouragement for all writers is most evident. Desperate in his research for tips on how to write a good story, Bob stumbled across McNulty's videos in a random web search. (The following direct thoughts should be in italics...) This stuff is gold! Now I am SURE to become a bestselling author!
I love your concise videos! For my genre (1930s-40s based whodunnits) I think that indirect thoughts generally work best, being more in line with the style of the era, but I will remember direct internal dialogue for the climax.
Your advice is unique and off-beat from the usual things floating around, while also being very relevant and useful. Gets my brain’s gears going. Thank you for sharing!
What a fab video, succinct and informative! While I see the appeal of using italics for inner voice, I've always felt that using it restricts you from being able to add emphasis to certain non-speech words by italicising them, as then you risk the reader thinking that random words are actually thoughts.
Thanks for the kind words! And as for your italics concern, I don't think it's a problem as long as you establish early on that italics will be used to designate thoughts. Your readers should be able to tell the difference if you lead them along properly
No italics = free flow first person narration from the character's brain, plus remove filter words where possible. Makes the reader be the character and it's more engaging that way.
That’s a great description and it’s something I needed to review too. My story is centred around the evolving mental state of my main character through high stakes situations so the use of indirect and direct thoughts feels crucial to convey their state well.
Before watching this video, I watched one on the same subject where the guy never used italics to distinguish direct internal monologue and recommended putting internal dialogue in every chapter which I think is over doing it. Your video is much better. It makes sense to use italics to distinguish thought from external dialogue and of course not using italics for indirect thoughts. So, a thumbs up for this video.
Awesome! Thank you! I would've responded sooner, but TH-cam marked your comments as spam (those bastards!). Let me know if there's ever a video topic you'd like me to cover
I like to use indirect for thought presentation usually. Inner monologue isn't as narrative at it's usually presented in literature, and I'm trying to keep that concept of accuracy... even though I also want to write something completely fantastical.
I write in first person and I use direct thoughts very often. I do not italicize them though. I do however make very conscious use of spacing and the thoughts are often used to convey an opposing message to the narration to give readers at least two different interpretations of what could be happening.
Hi Brandon, thanks for posting this informative, concise video. When writing direct thoughts in a fictional novel: do you think they should always start with a capital letter? I agree that they should be written in italics, but I'm also interested in the punctuation rules directly before the thought is written. Is it just the same conventional rules e.g. a comma, period or semicolon? Specifically, can a thought be written with no punctuation before it?
You can treat direct thoughts like regular dialogue BUT minus the quotation marks. So capitalizing the first letter would still apply. Same with punctuation.
Direct and indirect thoughts. Now I know terms to search for to read on the subject. My challenge is I cannot use italics. In my first-person memoirs, I struggle going to direct thoughts and back smoothly. I can't understand why sometimes it works, and other times it fails. Thanks for an informative video.
You're welcome! And with 1st-person stories, you may not have to rely on direct thoughts as much because 1st person POV is already inside the character/author's head, and therefore pretty intimate to begin with
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Exactly right, but (there's always a but)... I write my narratives mostly from the perspective of my adolescent self, pulling back occasionally to my current perspective of a middle-aged man (think: The Wonder Years, or Stand By Me), sometimes as part of a sequel scene or necessary backstory or hell, even to impart wisdom for the good of mankind. But (told ya) I generally float between a slightly distant perspective of general past tense and a closer perspective I call 'immediate past tense,' which is using past tense language to describing events as they happen. For anything particularly profound or scintillating, I slip into [present tense -ed] for emphasis. Not only my thoughts, but briefly my actions, as separating the two by tense is more awkward than writing the scene without italics. Make sense? Now, despite having explained all that, I'll consider and perhaps heed your implied advice to stick with indirect thoughts, with accompanying past tense action. Thank you.
@@desertgecko4549 I like the term "immediate past tense"! It sounds like something we all use when showing scenes in the past (as opposed to just summarizing events). It doesn't sound like you're doing anything to extreme, just overthinking things maybe. Either way, when in doubt, try to simplify things. If you--the author--think things are too complicated, chances are the reader will too. Ultimately, it's all about finding that balance between making yourself happy and helping your readers understand what you mean to convey.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Thanks, Brandon. I'm working on a chapter today where I'm trying something different. I'm leading into direct thought with some indirect thought, then following it with same. As I said before, I treat direct like dialogue without quote marks, so a little buffer of indirect on both sides might work. I'll get a pseudo-cold read of it in a few days that should tell me if it works. I look forward to watching upcoming videos. BTW I corrected an embarrassing error in my previous comment where I wrote "first person" where I meant "present tense." It made no sense the way I'd written it, but you understood my intent. You must be a schoolteacher. :)
@@desertgecko4549 Haha not even close. I taught college down at FSU for a summer, but nothing beyond that. Teaching in front of a class wasn't my thing
Huh, I actually didn’t realize there was a segregation between direct and indirect thoughts. I thought they were a style choice, especially when writing in first person basically all the Narration is indirect thoughts
Hi, so I'm writing a short story, and your video was very helpful, but I was wondering if I should make a new paragraph if I'm switching from indirect thoughts to direct thoughts? Thanks
With the indirect thoughts, we clearly get the narrator's POV. They seem to get information when the main character does, not omnicent at all. This works if you don't want an omniscent narrator, in my opinion.
If you haven't already done this one yet, I'd love to see an examination of how to write a character struggling to decide between something they want that is wrong and doing the right thing even though it means giving up what they want. Whenever I try it ends up sounding melodramatic. Thanks!
Hi Brandon! Thank you for the wonderfully informative video! Would you consider internal thoughts, direct or indirect, showing or telling? There seems to be conflicting information about this online. Many thanks!!!
brandon please tell me what are the best scenes to use present tense point of view to make the most impact on a reader, 1. fight scene 2. love making scene 3. urguments 4, 5,...... please fill me in.
This would only work in books or novels though. Could you please make this video but for mainly movies or series. Like how to create a narrator or how to do voiceovers of characters and stuff........ Anyways Great Content!! 👍👍
4:01 I love that there’s a example given but I must say repeating “why is there blood on my floor” when we’ve just established there’s blood on the floor we should be able to CUT it to “Sara entered the kitchen and found bloodstains on the floor. I must be seeing things(use a font)” Edit: let my dumb ass be a education in typing before you see the rest of the vid 😂5:13
i was just clicking on these videos bc i was wondering HOW to write inner diolog or thoughts when its a 3rd person thing XD it seened awkward in my head but the examples looked awesome
So is this correct in 3rd person? Direct thoughts is italics, present tense and 1st person Indirect thoughts is no italics, past tensed and 3rd person?
With so much going to Audible or read aloud, how do we manage direct thoughts vs. dialogue? How does a listening audience know the sentence was thought/italic and not spoken/quoted?
Typically a skillful narrator will be able to alter their voice enough to clue readers in. If you want to play it safe, you can also include a dialogue tag (or in this case, a thought tag) to hammer home the idea that it's a direct thought
i like to make the audience wander what the main character is thinking so when something happens they are like oh.unless it is like a reaction scene or something or if they are saying it outloud
Could this also apply to a character talking to themselves? How could you make a self talkative character without it seeming cheesy, brash, inhuman or unnecessary? And would this be a good way to explain their inner thoughts in a 3rd-person type way? I genuinely love your content and your teaching style, extremely helpful
Hello. What about a main character that is an overthinker? I think internal dialogue can be used to do exposition. I think about explanations all the time. I think than whereas "As you and I know, Bob..." is not bealivable, explaining something to oneself, even if one already knowns it, happens all the time.
For a Direct thought, using italics, would you treat this as dialogue and start it on a new line, or just continue as if it where just a standard sentence?
Hi Brandon would you ever consider doing test readings for your viewers? I’m just talking about like the first two chapters of my book. I’m talking about on the the side not for videos. Your input would be fantastic to know if my writing is actually good or if I need to improve. I’m not looking for like an editor or anything just a basic is it good or not. It’s very hard to get real readers that provide valuable feedback, but you would be able to give realistic writing advice when it comes to that.
I had an idea that my character would be cursed and cant speak out loud or it causes him pain until he finds a way to fix it. That would leave me using a lot of direct thoughts talking to himself in a way. Would lots of italics be annoying or should I use tags like he thought at the end instead of italics.
First of all, that idea is awesome. Do whatever it takes to get that story written. As for your italics questions, you're probably better off limiting the amount of italics you use. Some readers get fatigued if they see too many italics. It might help to tell that story in 1st Person, but if you do tell it in 3rd, you can use the "he thought" tags.
Thank you for this video! Your explanation for how indirect thought keeps the reader in the flow of the scene more than direct thought was the key to why my latest scene felt so jumpy. Now I can go edit. 😊
I have a few questions. If we use italics for direct thought would they not interfere with when we want to emphasise something? I have been using single quotation marks, is that alright?
In most cases, italics for emphasis is only going to be a word or phrase. Usually readers understand what you're doing with the emphasis and can distinguish it from internal dialogue (which will be entire sentences). Single quote marks for dialogue? I've seen several authors do that. Most go with the double quote marks, but single is fine
I feel like indirect thoughts seem intrusive. I feel like the author is breaking the 4th wall and telling us what to believe. Unfortunately, I'm not a successful writer, so I can't really say.
What would you suggest for a story about someone who is isolated and doesn't talk much? Not quite the last man on earth, but close to it. Would you still use italics or just replace "he said" with "he thought" since he has no reason to talk most of the time.
Does he talk to himself (out loud)? That could simplify things. If not, I would try to limit the italics. You don't want your readers getting fatigued (or getting headaches) from reading so many italicized words.
I was wondering how to do inner dialogue/monologue in the context of film and TV. I don't know if you've seen it, but the anime Death Note, for example, is probably around 50% inner monologues going through the characters' thought processes. This is because the characters are involved in a cerebral game of cat-and-mouse, so it's crucial the audience knows what each characters' plans are to drive the tension. I'm just not sure how well something like that would translate over to a voice over and close up of the character's eyes, for instance, in live action lol. I haven't been able to find too many examples of it being done, outside of old film noir here and there. Is this something you could shed some light on, or is film a bit out of your wheelhouse? Thanks for reading in advance, if you did.
I haven't watched Death Note, but I'm about halfway through the manga. I think a good live-action example would be the TV series Dexter. We get a lot of Dexter's thoughts when he's plotting kills or trying not to get caught
I have I mute character in my story and when she uses sign language I italicize her dialog. Would this confuse or tire the reader since I also italicize direct thoughts
Thanks for the vid, Brandon. I've been running through your other vids. Love the to the point style. Do you have a Patreon page? I'd love to contribute.
It can go either way. If you want to maintain the flow of one big paragraph, you can merge the italics into the rest of the paragraph. If you want to put the italics on a separate line for impact, clarity, or some other reason, that works too. Pay attention when you're reading some of your favorite authors, see what they do, and decide what works best for you.
Great tips. To me writing direct thoughts (especially fiction) allows us that intimacy with our characters we can never get with real people. For example I can never tell what a family member is thinking, I can only go by the spoken dialogue and I can’t get inside his or her head. However, with a character, that rule no longer applies and I can know his or her thoughts, feelings and opinions on different topics.
Yep, and not all mediums can pull off internal thoughts well. It's one of the novel's strong points, and it's a major reason for people saying the book is (almost) always better than the movie.
Your video is much better than all those LONG online articles that go on and on, thank you for making this video.
Thanks for your kind words! Do you have any other topics you'd like me to cover?
I agree. Not only long articles, long videos as well. I've watched many videos by writers that drone on and on without ever providing the meat and potatoes. Your video, sir was all meat and potatoes from first to last word. Thank you.
Absolutely right. I'm surprised how this technique never popped up in years of self learning. Well done and thank you sir!
I came here to leave this comment (2 years later lol)
i just bumped into what i needed for my writting , you are direct and no fluff , i like it. i have learnt alot here in a short time. thnx
I am literally writing a short story at this moment and I was so clueless on how to show or describe what my character was thinking, really helped me out thanks for explaining it in the best way.
Thanks for watching! Best of luck with your story!
Man, this guy is the best.
I've watched many videos by writers that drone on and on without ever providing the meat and potatoes. Your video, sir was all meat and potatoes from first to last word. Thank you.
Glad to hear it! One of my goals with the channel was to provide helpful, straight-to-the-point writing advice, so I'm glad I succeeded in that regard. Thanks for watching!
Omg, thank you so much. So in summary:
Direct thoughts: Important events
Indirect thoughts: Not-so-important events
Pretty much, yeah!
Your videos are helping me so much with creating my story...its getting the creative juices flowing
This is great. I have a place where I'm going to use some internal dialogue and you're pointing out the difference between direct and indirect internal dialogue will be very useful for the scene. In the late 19th century, My 18 year old main character is meeting with a 40 year old male authority figure in his office with no one else present. She offers to make tea for the both of them, as he has the means for her to do so there in his office. She serves him his tea and the two of them sit and she bluntly confronts him about his morally reprehensible behavior and indicates how she is going to see to it that he's prevented from behaving that way ever again. She takes a sip of tea as he stands, loudly verbally attacks her and pick up an item from his desk and throws it against the wall. My protagonist will then express indirect dialogue to the reader indicating she had anticipated such a reaction, and she will take another sip of tea as the heavy item slams against the wall of his office. This will be much better than her simply expressing a direct internal dialogue to the reader.
Do you mind sharing what your book is about? I’m interested I know that it’s not published yet, but I would be interested in reading it. I want to know the plot.
@AutisticBrain it's difficult to classify. It has elements of a fictional biography. I am by no means a professional so I'm not sure if my work would fit any particular category nor that I would know it did. Basically it's my protagonist versus the 19th century. I will admit this has been done before to some degree with Jane Eyre. But I'm taking it in some pretty extreme directions Gathering all sorts of 19th century inspiration from various sources and trying to fit it all-in-one work. In addition to historical occurrence and the occasional real historical figure showing up, I've included elements of Verne, the Brontë sisters, Zola, many other 19th century sources. Also I'm a recent fan of Philip K Dick, and a central element of my story is that my protagonist has questionable mental composition. And this is left purposefully vague. I'm intentionally trying to subvert Miny expectations, but trying to focus on subverting 19th century expectations. I'm building the narrative as if it were to be published in the 19th century, and would be popular at the time, and I would very likely be imprisoned for writing it. As I have stated, but wish to emphasize, I'm not a professional writer. Right now this historical fiction is a collection of scenes, characters, events, places, that fit a coherent overall narrative. At least I think it's coherent.
@@c704710 why would you be arrested for writing this novel? *I don’t understand why*
@@AutisticBrain Only in the 19th century would I be arrested. Lets see... Religious Criticism. Sexual Content as defined at the time (a detailed list would more than triple this post's size), homosexuality and transgender characters (19th century society barely made any distinction), prostitution, violence and crime, challenging gender roles, miscegenation, nonconformist epidermotomy, feminism ("female rights"), morbid humor, nudism, percociousness, penitential crucifixion, nude art, and birth control. And quite a few things I won't mention in a youtube post.
Something I have found helpful as a writer is to constantly consider the narrative to be through the protagonist's eyes. Since it is already their opinions being shown, an internal dialogue should be a remark about their situation or another character. [She's beautiful] in the case of a shy protag, or [I'm definitely going to smash his car later tonight,] if the protag has been wronged.
I've never used direct thoughts in my writing. The only reason I'm doing it now is because I have a character that's sending a telepathic message. I had no idea what the correct format was for writing thoughts so I had to look it up. So thanks!
Happy to help!
I am editing my story, and was really struggling with my characters thoughts being clunky. So thank you for this content 👍
Glad it helped! Thanks for watching and welcome to the channel!
You've found a terrific niche, Brandon. Short, insightful, and immediately actionable. There's a role for the longer theory pieces out there, but you stuff is extremely helpful. I don't know anything about TH-cam, but if there were a way for you to catalogue or index these to be searchable by subject, that would be even more helpful.
If you click on his channel you'll see some tabs (Home, Video, Playlists, etc.)
The Playlists are sorted into broad topics--maybe that helps already?
It's easier to find specific topics within those at least.
Other than that you can always search for terms on his channel page directly and it'll show you videos that have those in the title :)
Id say you and hello future me are my two favourite writing advice
Great video, Im struggling with writing my narrative and this really helps a lot. Keep it up!
Thrilled it helped. Let me know if you have another topic you'd like me cover!
Me too
How often do you use Direct Thoughts in your work? Let us know!
Bro, your content is EXCELLENT.
My search: Can your inner monologue drive you mad?
TH-cam: You like storytelling. Here, have a treat.
Hahaha that's an awesome way to find me. Welcome to the channel!
Having finally decided to write my first novel, I have found Brandon's videos to be excellent. His use of examples are terrific and his enthusiasm for writing and his encouragement for all writers is most evident.
Desperate in his research for tips on how to write a good story, Bob stumbled across McNulty's videos in a random web search. (The following direct thoughts should be in italics...) This stuff is gold! Now I am SURE to become a bestselling author!
Thanks for the kind words!
I love your concise videos! For my genre (1930s-40s based whodunnits) I think that indirect thoughts generally work best, being more in line with the style of the era, but I will remember direct internal dialogue for the climax.
Good luck.
I hope you're reading the greats: Raymond Chandler, Erle Stanley Garner, and James Hadley Chase❤
@@BenavolutionArt Thank you for your kind comment. Actually I am British so have been reading the British equivalents 😃
@gladiator652004 I'm Scottish lol. Trust me, start with the big sleep ❤ then hit up Perry Mason "the howling dog" all on audible ❤
Thanks for respecting your viewers’ time by making your videos concise.
Your advice is unique and off-beat from the usual things floating around, while also being very relevant and useful. Gets my brain’s gears going. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for the kind words!
What a fab video, succinct and informative! While I see the appeal of using italics for inner voice, I've always felt that using it restricts you from being able to add emphasis to certain non-speech words by italicising them, as then you risk the reader thinking that random words are actually thoughts.
Thanks for the kind words! And as for your italics concern, I don't think it's a problem as long as you establish early on that italics will be used to designate thoughts. Your readers should be able to tell the difference if you lead them along properly
No italics = free flow first person narration from the character's brain, plus remove filter words where possible. Makes the reader be the character and it's more engaging that way.
Thankyou for such a clear and detailed explanation!
We were just discussing this in our writers' group. Thanks for explaining things in a succinct way.
Great information. Thank you. I researched for hours, and this is the best!
That’s a great description and it’s something I needed to review too. My story is centred around the evolving mental state of my main character through high stakes situations so the use of indirect and direct thoughts feels crucial to convey their state well.
Before watching this video, I watched one on the same subject where the guy never used italics to distinguish direct internal monologue and recommended putting internal dialogue in every chapter which I think is over doing it. Your video is much better. It makes sense to use italics to distinguish thought from external dialogue and of course not using italics for indirect thoughts. So, a thumbs up for this video.
Thanks! Credit goes to my copy editor, who taught me the ins and outs of internal dialogue
Very well explained, Brandon. Thanks.
Thank you! wish to learn more about dialogues.
Thanks for watching! Anything specific you want to know about dialogue?
Your video is very helpful, and its going to go a long way writing my novel. I subscribed and I look forward to seeing more from you.
Awesome! Thank you! I would've responded sooner, but TH-cam marked your comments as spam (those bastards!). Let me know if there's ever a video topic you'd like me to cover
This video is really helpful, thank you very much
Anytime. Thanks for watching!
I like to use indirect for thought presentation usually. Inner monologue isn't as narrative at it's usually presented in literature, and I'm trying to keep that concept of accuracy... even though I also want to write something completely fantastical.
Thank you so much for enlightening me, a lot!
Thanks for watching!
You always answer all my questions. Thank you
thanks for the video! i’m just struggling using this in a first person pov book
That was a great and simple explanation, thanks.
Thrilled to hear it helped--thanks for watching!
Thank you for this video ❤ So helpful!
Thrilled to hear it helped!
I write in first person and I use direct thoughts very often. I do not italicize them though. I do however make very conscious use of spacing and the thoughts are often used to convey an opposing message to the narration to give readers at least two different interpretations of what could be happening.
This is something I struggle with. Thanks for quickly making it clear.
This was a great video and a great lesson that I can use immediately. Is this as easy to apply in first person?
Yep, just remember to italicize the direct thoughts.
Hi Brandon, thanks for posting this informative, concise video. When writing direct thoughts in a fictional novel: do you think they should always start with a capital letter? I agree that they should be written in italics, but I'm also interested in the punctuation rules directly before the thought is written. Is it just the same conventional rules e.g. a comma, period or semicolon? Specifically, can a thought be written with no punctuation before it?
You can treat direct thoughts like regular dialogue BUT minus the quotation marks.
So capitalizing the first letter would still apply. Same with punctuation.
Thanks! I didn't know the name for indirect thoughts. I may be writing too many direct thoughts. Your video can help me decide.
It's a balancing act, but if you pay attention to some of your favorite authors, you'll get a good idea how often to use them
Direct and indirect thoughts. Now I know terms to search for to read on the subject. My challenge is I cannot use italics. In my first-person memoirs, I struggle going to direct thoughts and back smoothly. I can't understand why sometimes it works, and other times it fails.
Thanks for an informative video.
You're welcome! And with 1st-person stories, you may not have to rely on direct thoughts as much because 1st person POV is already inside the character/author's head, and therefore pretty intimate to begin with
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Exactly right, but (there's always a but)...
I write my narratives mostly from the perspective of my adolescent self, pulling back occasionally to my current perspective of a middle-aged man (think: The Wonder Years, or Stand By Me), sometimes as part of a sequel scene or necessary backstory or hell, even to impart wisdom for the good of mankind.
But (told ya) I generally float between a slightly distant perspective of general past tense and a closer perspective I call 'immediate past tense,' which is using past tense language to describing events as they happen. For anything particularly profound or scintillating, I slip into [present tense -ed] for emphasis. Not only my thoughts, but briefly my actions, as separating the two by tense is more awkward than writing the scene without italics.
Make sense? Now, despite having explained all that, I'll consider and perhaps heed your implied advice to stick with indirect thoughts, with accompanying past tense action. Thank you.
@@desertgecko4549 I like the term "immediate past tense"! It sounds like something we all use when showing scenes in the past (as opposed to just summarizing events). It doesn't sound like you're doing anything to extreme, just overthinking things maybe.
Either way, when in doubt, try to simplify things. If you--the author--think things are too complicated, chances are the reader will too. Ultimately, it's all about finding that balance between making yourself happy and helping your readers understand what you mean to convey.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Thanks, Brandon.
I'm working on a chapter today where I'm trying something different. I'm leading into direct thought with some indirect thought, then following it with same. As I said before, I treat direct like dialogue without quote marks, so a little buffer of indirect on both sides might work. I'll get a pseudo-cold read of it in a few days that should tell me if it works.
I look forward to watching upcoming videos. BTW I corrected an embarrassing error in my previous comment where I wrote "first person" where I meant "present tense." It made no sense the way I'd written it, but you understood my intent. You must be a schoolteacher. :)
@@desertgecko4549 Haha not even close. I taught college down at FSU for a summer, but nothing beyond that. Teaching in front of a class wasn't my thing
Good guidance, man. I've subscribed.
Awesome, thank you!
I needed this video. Thanks so much. ❤
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you. This was an incredible helpful video
Clear and to the point! Thank you for this video.
Glad it was helpful! If you want me to cover another topic, let me know
very helpful honestly. thanks a bunch
Thrilled to hear it helped--thanks for watching!
Huh, I actually didn’t realize there was a segregation between direct and indirect thoughts. I thought they were a style choice, especially when writing in first person basically all the Narration is indirect thoughts
Yep, Direct Thoughts are more immediate and dialogue-y than Indirect
Bro that “FUCK” made me spit out my water 😂
Hi, so I'm writing a short story, and your video was very helpful, but I was wondering if I should make a new paragraph if I'm switching from indirect thoughts to direct thoughts? Thanks
Not necessarily. I've seen pro writers who have a paragraph with indirect thoughts, then the last sentence is direct thoughts (usually for emphasis)
With the indirect thoughts, we clearly get the narrator's POV. They seem to get information when the main character does, not omnicent at all. This works if you don't want an omniscent narrator, in my opinion.
Indirect Thoughts would be the POV character's thoughts expressed through the narration (in a Limited 3rd Person story)
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Thank you!
This is really helpful, thank you!
Glad it was helpful! If you ever want me to do a video on a specific topic let me know. I take requests
Thank you.Great help!
Glad it helped--thanks for watching!
Well done.
Would appreciate a comment on writing a character's arguement with self.
Good idea. Anything specific you’d like me to cover in that video?
If you haven't already done this one yet, I'd love to see an examination of how to write a character struggling to decide between something they want that is wrong and doing the right thing even though it means giving up what they want. Whenever I try it ends up sounding melodramatic. Thanks!
Thank you so much this really helped a lot ❤
Thrilled it helped! Please tell others about the channel!
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty will do.
The best internal dialogue I've seen is from Joe Abercrombie with his Glokta character.
Glokta is one of my favorite characters in any book, his hilarious/cynical internal dialogue is a big reason why
Hi Brandon! Thank you for the wonderfully informative video! Would you consider internal thoughts, direct or indirect, showing or telling? There seems to be conflicting information about this online. Many thanks!!!
I write in the 1st person so thoughts in itallics would be too much. But I do use them for psychic exchanges.
Wow! This guy is great!!!!
Thanks!
Do you have to write "he/she thought" after the direct or indirect thought. Or can you leave it out when its obvious. Thanks
brandon please tell me what are the best scenes to use present tense point of view to make the most impact on a reader, 1. fight scene 2. love making scene 3. urguments 4, 5,...... please fill me in.
This would only work in books or novels though. Could you please make this video but for mainly movies or series. Like how to create a narrator or how to do voiceovers of characters and stuff........
Anyways Great Content!! 👍👍
Very helpful! Thanks
your channel will soon be huge. I can tell.
I hope you have a knack for predicting the future
How soon 😭
@@dkjaymusic7055 take it easy. We can't all be "artists" with 9 subs and zero videos.
@@TrevorDuran3390 not to brag about being famous but my main account has 300 sum subs says u had youtube for 6 years congrats on 3 subs
@@dkjaymusic7055 yes, and we're all very impressed. Congratulations.
4:01 I love that there’s a example given but I must say repeating “why is there blood on my floor” when we’ve just established there’s blood on the floor we should be able to CUT it to
“Sara entered the kitchen and found bloodstains on the floor. I must be seeing things(use a font)”
Edit: let my dumb ass be a education in typing before you see the rest of the vid 😂5:13
i was just clicking on these videos bc i was wondering HOW to write inner diolog or thoughts when its a 3rd person thing XD it seened awkward in my head but the examples looked awesome
Hope it helped! Let me know if there's ever a specific topic you want me to cover
So is this correct in 3rd person?
Direct thoughts is italics, present tense and 1st person
Indirect thoughts is no italics, past tensed and 3rd person?
Exactly!
Very helpful.
With so much going to Audible or read aloud, how do we manage direct thoughts vs. dialogue? How does a listening audience know the sentence was thought/italic and not spoken/quoted?
Typically a skillful narrator will be able to alter their voice enough to clue readers in.
If you want to play it safe, you can also include a dialogue tag (or in this case, a thought tag) to hammer home the idea that it's a direct thought
I don't think I've used direct thoughts in years and idk why. I'm gonna start experimenting with it i think
Thank you for this video 🤩
You’re welcome! Glad it helped. Let me know if there are any other topics you want me to cover
Outstanding! Shred to my group!
i like to make the audience wander what the main character is thinking so when something happens they are like oh.unless it is like a reaction scene or something or if they are saying it outloud
Yeah I love that type of setup... Get them curious, them blow their minds with the payoff
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty indeed
Could this also apply to a character talking to themselves? How could you make a self talkative character without it seeming cheesy, brash, inhuman or unnecessary? And would this be a good way to explain their inner thoughts in a 3rd-person type way? I genuinely love your content and your teaching style, extremely helpful
Great Content ♥️
Thanks for watching!
I understand you sir ,, thank
Hello. What about a main character that is an overthinker? I think internal dialogue can be used to do exposition. I think about explanations all the time. I think than whereas "As you and I know, Bob..." is not bealivable, explaining something to oneself, even if one already knowns it, happens all the time.
For a Direct thought, using italics, would you treat this as dialogue and start it on a new line, or just continue as if it where just a standard sentence?
You can do either as long as it’s clear to the reader who is thinking it
Hi Brandon would you ever consider doing test readings for your viewers? I’m just talking about like the first two chapters of my book. I’m talking about on the the side not for videos. Your input would be fantastic to know if my writing is actually good or if I need to improve. I’m not looking for like an editor or anything just a basic is it good or not. It’s very hard to get real readers that provide valuable feedback, but you would be able to give realistic writing advice when it comes to that.
I had an idea that my character would be cursed and cant speak out loud or it causes him pain until he finds a way to fix it. That would leave me using a lot of direct thoughts talking to himself in a way. Would lots of italics be annoying or should I use tags like he thought at the end instead of italics.
First of all, that idea is awesome. Do whatever it takes to get that story written.
As for your italics questions, you're probably better off limiting the amount of italics you use. Some readers get fatigued if they see too many italics.
It might help to tell that story in 1st Person, but if you do tell it in 3rd, you can use the "he thought" tags.
Thank you for this video! Your explanation for how indirect thought keeps the reader in the flow of the scene more than direct thought was the key to why my latest scene felt so jumpy. Now I can go edit. 😊
i use italics on foreign names, foreign terminologies, can i also use italics on direct thoughts, will it confuse the readers?
I have a few questions.
If we use italics for direct thought would they not interfere with when we want to emphasise something?
I have been using single quotation marks, is that alright?
In most cases, italics for emphasis is only going to be a word or phrase. Usually readers understand what you're doing with the emphasis and can distinguish it from internal dialogue (which will be entire sentences).
Single quote marks for dialogue? I've seen several authors do that. Most go with the double quote marks, but single is fine
New to me was that I can switch between direct and indirect external thought. I thought that I have to decide to either one in the same novel.
I feel like indirect thoughts seem intrusive. I feel like the author is breaking the 4th wall and telling us what to believe.
Unfortunately, I'm not a successful writer, so I can't really say.
my charakter akts mostly alone, so i use direct thoughts a lot. Maybe to often, a bit....just a little...maybe^^
What would you suggest for a story about someone who is isolated and doesn't talk much? Not quite the last man on earth, but close to it. Would you still use italics or just replace "he said" with "he thought" since he has no reason to talk most of the time.
Does he talk to himself (out loud)? That could simplify things.
If not, I would try to limit the italics. You don't want your readers getting fatigued (or getting headaches) from reading so many italicized words.
I was wondering how to do inner dialogue/monologue in the context of film and TV. I don't know if you've seen it, but the anime Death Note, for example, is probably around 50% inner monologues going through the characters' thought processes. This is because the characters are involved in a cerebral game of cat-and-mouse, so it's crucial the audience knows what each characters' plans are to drive the tension. I'm just not sure how well something like that would translate over to a voice over and close up of the character's eyes, for instance, in live action lol. I haven't been able to find too many examples of it being done, outside of old film noir here and there. Is this something you could shed some light on, or is film a bit out of your wheelhouse? Thanks for reading in advance, if you did.
I haven't watched Death Note, but I'm about halfway through the manga. I think a good live-action example would be the TV series Dexter. We get a lot of Dexter's thoughts when he's plotting kills or trying not to get caught
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Thanks for the response and suggestion! I've never seen it, actually, so I'll have to check it out. Thanks again!
@@LIVEvil789 Np!
@@LIVEvil789 Np!
trying to plan my monologue for my English exam tomorrow at school
Best of luck!
i almost didnt watch this video. fucking glad I did watch it. amazing!
My editor told me that indirect dialogue is the best kind. But I said, "Nah, I prefer direct dialogue."
How does this work with first-person pov writing?
I have I mute character in my story and when she uses sign language I italicize her dialog. Would this confuse or tire the reader since I also italicize direct thoughts
how do i write inner monologue in third person pov, or can't i really do that?
I do not have internal monologue and i have problem with express thought
Hmm, do you think your story needs internal monologue? Some don't, so if you're really struggling with it, you can work around it
6:57: A bit to be honest.
Inner monologue is so fucking important cause important man
Thanks for the vid, Brandon.
I've been running through your other vids. Love the to the point style.
Do you have a Patreon page? I'd love to contribute.
Hey thanks! And I don't have a Patreon, but if you want to support me, consider picking up a copy of my novel BAD PARTS: amzn.to/3esTFYC
Do you start a new paragraph and indent for italics just like dialogue?
It can go either way. If you want to maintain the flow of one big paragraph, you can merge the italics into the rest of the paragraph. If you want to put the italics on a separate line for impact, clarity, or some other reason, that works too.
Pay attention when you're reading some of your favorite authors, see what they do, and decide what works best for you.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Thanks.
Holly hell this guys eyes are so crazy its scary! He's looking into my soul.
Great tips. To me writing direct thoughts (especially fiction) allows us that intimacy with our characters we can never get with real people. For example I can never tell what a family member is thinking, I can only go by the spoken dialogue and I can’t get inside his or her head. However, with a character, that rule no longer applies and I can know his or her thoughts, feelings and opinions on different topics.
Yep, and not all mediums can pull off internal thoughts well. It's one of the novel's strong points, and it's a major reason for people saying the book is (almost) always better than the movie.