Party Survival Guide for Introverts
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ต.ค. 2012
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Are you an introvert? Do large parties overwhelm you and make you anxious? Forget about it! Today's episode of WellCast is tailored for you-we've got a tutorial to help you survive (even enjoy!) your next bash.
Check out some other awesome episodes of WellCast:
1. Coming Out goo.gl/amysN
2. Coping With Grief goo.gl/aD4OH
3. How to Break the Ice goo.gl/CmS8O
4. Dealing With Rejection goo.gl/f3Pw5
5. Ways to Stop Bullying goo.gl/WOzSy
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Me at a party: *Finds the one person I know*
*Clings to them and follows them around for the entire party*
Nightstorm haha same 😂😂😂😂
Same! There was one time when my friend at that party was hanging out with a boy (that I actually hate, so I was quite angry with her because I've told her that that boy is a mess) so I was basically alone taking care of another friend who was crazy drunk and sobbing. It was such a mess.
This is literally me. I just got back from a party and did the same shit.
I do that, but they just walk to the extroverted people and I get forced to following them singing and dancing like crazy
That was exactly me last night but she got annoyed 😂
I am literally at a party right now, sitting in the corner, and watching this....
Why go to a party when you can stay in your bedroom reading a novel and drinking tea
Why did I only now discovered this videos it shown 100% of my behavior at parties.
How can you hear the video with all the loud music?
Lina Laughs headphones
🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️😂😂😂😂
I get jealous of the extroverts at the party who are totally enjoying themselves, laughing, chatting, dancing, being free. I'm standing there observing it all and wishing i could be free and enjoy.
Exactly how i feel sometimes
That means you are shy not introvert.... because introvert is kinda nature of human that love isolation from being in noise or interacting with people....😊.....you are jealous for not attending the crowd means you are shy type person.....not introvert ❤️
Literally alcohol is the solution
@@martindempers7732lol yes😂
@@theblissedcorner1728 you can be shy and an introvert
I like to party, i want to party, i just don't know how to be social.
I only go to parties of there’s a lot of people so that I can hide in the crowd and dance without people noticing me and talking to me
Totally relatable
Omg same! I love parties but I just want to be by myself
I feel u u feel me
Sigh😌
this
Party Survival Guide for Introverts:
Don't go.
^ wisdom
Truth.
Hail CTHVLHV
Good one..?
+CarsonFacePalmer i know. Human is an animal that belongs to a group. So if you cant not be awkward and talk to people why the fuck you call yourself a human. Funniest part is that most introverts are proud of being one, which is so plainly stupid
Hail CTHVLHV
I don't understand all the hate you have towards introverts. They do something to you as a kid or something?
I don't need to watch this video. Here's all an introvert has to do to survive a party:
Step 1) Don't go
Step 2) Feel relief
***** Why can't someone run from social gathering? What would stop them?
***** The realization that you can't both have friends and also ditch them when they want to hang out with you? Obviously there are more ways to socialize than at parties, but you can't realistically expect to be able to keep declining someone's invitations and still keep your social ties with them. This is precisely one of the significant dilemmas of socialization that introverts have. If you just plain don't want any friends that will end up inviting you to parties then you aren't a demographic this is even concerned about.
Vulcapyro
"but you can't realistically expect to be able to keep declining someone's invitations and still keep your social ties with them"
Unless they are worth being called friends and understand that not everyone is like them and aren't being a douche about it. The rest, I can live without comfortably.
There is a difference between big party and small gathering.
tinkerwithstuff Took the words out of my mouth, eh fingers. A true friend will understand if asking you to go to a party is like asking if you want a colonoscopy.
That works 9 out of 10 times. Some parties you can't avoid without some serious egg on your face. IE a relative's bar mitzvah , wedding etc. It being family would make it easier though, because you know everyone there and remember at least half their names (in my case). This is good advice for when it's unavoidable.
Everyone with social anxiety make some noise!
Me and fellow introverts: **nervous mumbling**
... you know social anxiety is a fear of social interaction right?
@@sanjanam520 Yeah and it's definetely not the same as introversion. They may overlap tho
Laughed way too hard at this 😂
I’m so terrified of social interaction that it’s affecting essential parts of my everyday life. I’m in college and if you don’t go to parties or don’t hang out with your classmates after class, you get left behind. You never have a project partner, you get bad grades, you finally graduate with zero connections and then this miserable circle follows you into the real world when you have to find work. It’s a never ending cycle of crapiness and I wish I never had become an introvert.
I feel very similar to your feelings.High School and college were the worst of times.I usually found a few friends who were not that outgoing and we got drunk to stop feeling like we didn't fit in.Now that I am in the work world, I chose the wrong career for an introvert, wasted many years.We are supposed to be very creative, right now I am wanting to create a better income for myself.Being an introvert in the USA is no fun at all.If I had a ton of money I would move to some remote place in the Arizona desert, buy a large area of land, and only socialize with other introverts.
bloo jkl45 grades and social interaction don’t correlate stop making excuses for your life. I often find that the classes I don’t speak to people in, I concentrate and do better in. Just introduce yourself to someone, start a friendly conversation- it’s really not that hard.
You have not "become" an introvert, you're born this way like lady gaga sings. Introverts are great leaders! And there are many introverts leading the world. People like Barack Obama, elon musk, Marilyn Monroe and many more people are all introverts. I know it sucks cause I am kinda in the same situation. But I'm sure it's all gonna work out
Fucking same dude, it sucks 😓
All my conversation are uncomfortable.
don't worry my fellow introverts , we shall take this world and make the extroverts live in an introvert world.
How? by wiping out most extroverts?
Ahsan That's a plan I can get into, good thinking
Ahsan I was thinking about converting them but your way works to.
Comander Alpha Doge we must unite
How are we supposed to do that? That would involve leaving the house!
Welcome to Finland, here being introvert is the norm. It's a safe haven in an extrovert world.
can I go there? please?
Sweden too!
If it wouldn't be cold there I'd honestly consider :D
damn it, well i guess I´ll have to move someday ^^
Yep, moving to Finland.
Intovert: *hides in corner*
Extrovert: *parties hard*
Ambivert: *RUNS IN CIRCLES*
I do those 3 things while (in order)
Sober
Drunk
High
Lil uzi vert: starts dancing
I’m all three lmao
Ambrivert Check!
@@Leo-bd7fw Yeah but don't over do it
Extroverts: How can you be alone for that long?
Me: HOW DO YOU GO EVERYWHERE. AND TALK. TO EVERYONE. AND ENJOY IT.
I understand this cuz we’re in quarantine now and eveyone is like “I wanna go out and do something” but I’m fine in quarantine. I’m just not the type of person who likes to go out a lot. Yeah it’s sometimes boring and I have nothing to do but I’m not desperate to see friends and that😂
No, a large party is WAY scarier than an overdue trip to the dentist.
Just get drunk m8
Truest fact EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bad advice. Extroverts tend to take advantage of things without even realizing it. Introverts getting drunk will be exposed and humiliated. Introvert wakes up the next day, and finds out that gossip about them getting smashed has spread like wildfire is hell on earth.
Unknown Error ikr
I haved experienced already a few times around a fews days to about a few months overdue trip to a dentist.
For introverts stepping into a party is like entering a restricted area in the Assassin's Creed games.
Rayyan Ali lmao bro im dead
Lmfao true 😂😂😂
lmao i felt this one
Good one
Indeed😂
#6 find a dog or cat that you can play with
I was playing with a a cat when a big family party LOL
Must of them just dancing, playing basketball(I don't hate basketball), and singing
Most of them are EXTROVERTS !, THEY'RE absurd and they love mundane normy stuff
... or a gerbil?
HAHA this is so tru😭
I don't like animals. Man I am seriously thinking of suicide.
i just got invited to my friends graduation party and my first reaction was to decine but instead of feeling shitty for it i decided to go and im nervous but very proud of myself.
how was it? 😭 I’m in the same situation
@@Lizardstookover it was great! i felt so proud of myself for going and it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. i know i woud have felt worse if i stayed home it was so worth it. sending you love i know you can do it!
@@brenna5305 thank you so much for responding (: i’m glad it went alright !
i cant tell if i'm an introvert or if i just hate everyone.
+olivia s probs both
+olivia s maybe a cynic
+olivia s Me too!
agreed !
+olivia s same...
This is stupid. Don't force yourself to going to a party if you don't want to. Stay home and do whatever you want. But if you actually find yourself on a party, you don't need any escape plans, just say you already want to go home and go home. Don't force yourself to play by their rules, this is exactly why there are so many depressed introverts that think there is something wrong with them. Try to explain to your friends how you feel, if they really are you friends, then they will understand, if not, then they are not worth it. Sigh
I wish this would work for parents though.
Faith Connors is at Aperture Science Enlighten your parrents then
This is why I don't have friends...
if only it were that easy to explain...
None of my friends seem to understand. Especially since I'm a college student. It's "normal" to go to parties, concerts, be in clubs, and just always know what's going on on or off campus. College is too extrovert centric which is why I've been having such an awful time.
The number one tip for improving social interaction for me has always been, "don't get caught up in your own head."
Number two. "Good posture equals self confidence." You can't feel sorry for yourself while standing like Superman/Wonder Woman.
Tip: Try talking to a girl who you know is going a few weeks before you go to the party and get to know her and meet her at the party at the same time. This will build an instant bond and the night will probably go your way.
why do I watch this, I dont even get invited to parties :/
Would you want to be?
I don't even like parties (ok, sometimes) I need a lot recovery time for such things
Hey!
Tim Grabowski Lol same
Tim Grabowski same
Best escape plan: Sneak out, allways works for me :D
Used this one yesterday.
Whatsgoingoninmycrib
Escaped?
+ESTAndere Yep. Snuck right out the front door an hour into the party.
Nice! :D
Ha ha! Yes! I've actually done this multiple times!
going to a party in like one hour... wish me luck 😖✊🏼
Howd itgo?
Same, had to watch this before going 💀
@@SarahHugzBuddy i actually remember it going really well + met a childhood friend by coincidence! best of luck !!!
Best tip: when talking to someone focus on them. Direct your attention outward instead of internally. Most likely the other person is feeling slightly anxious as well and if you can ease their tension yours will disappear as well.
And don't feel guilty because you're not socializing enough or sitting by yourself.
Party survival guide for introverts mk2:
1) Find door
2) Open door
3) Walk through door
Tadaaa!
Why solve a problem when you can avoid it?
depends on which side of the door you start on
900bot mind blown
Im confused, are you talking about sovling a problem or... how do you avoid it while............. not avoiding it? (maby easy for most bot nor for some.. thing like me...)
Well obviously it's preferable just to not go.
This is a just-in-case measure should you suddenly and inexplicably find yourself at a party. Somehow.
that's genius! pussying out is way better than challenging your inner demons.
Watching a video about my personality makes me feel comfortable
Seeing this title just gave me so much peace. I always psyche myself out when I’m invited to a party and don’t know their other guest 😂😅
I remember sometimes I would get told at parties why am I so shy or so quiet, and I would have to be nice and say politely 'I don't know'. But in my head my response was 'I DON'T LIKE WASTING WORDS'.
Ben Montes a better response would be 'because I'm a f**king introvert, deal with it'
That's too savage.
+Ben Montes I know your struggle except that I'm in college and those who I speak with always ask me why I don't talk or do the stuff they do and then they go about telling me how I should be and I'm like if there's nothing important to talk about there's no need to speak.and then it goes on every single day.
I'm also in college, and one of the reasons why I stopped going to parties is because I would sometimes feel like I'm trying too hard to blend in the environment or I simply felt I didn't belong so I got more involved with clubs and other things.
I wouldn't even say anything, just smile and shrug lol
I'm an introvert but I like socializing. IF I CAN do it. I'm so awkward around people.
Step 1: Plan your escape
I feel fully understood
I'm an introvert with RBF and people always ask
"Are you okay?"
And I'm like....
"...... Peachy ....."
Or #6: Just don't go to the party.
+helenGD
xD that's me. oh the excuses I come up with
PASTAAAAAAAA!!!(o^^o) Haha :)
+PASTAAAAAAAA!!!(o^^o) Hetalians, Hetalians everywhere
I HAVE FOUND MY HETALIAN PEOPLE
Exactly.
The video was going well until she said some parties cannot be avoided. I won't even go to job parties, so what kind would be fucking obligatory to me?
Fuck obligatory parties up the ass with no lube and plenty of thorns.
Gosh. My life is fucked up.
Its so hard making friends being introvert.
I walk weird because i'm focusing walking 'normal'.
I got the feeling everyone is looking at me and judging me.
Same.
+christian sercan Thats not being an introvert, thats social anxiety
+christian sercan
You might be shy. Introversion is more about getting energized with
alone time. Being afraid about what others think is more like shyness.
Bill Gates is an introvert and he will speak his mind with conviction.
It doesn't matter who is listening. Someone who is shy is afraid of
judgment and confrontation. With that in mind, you can start taking
decisive steps towards improving your self-esteem.
+christian sercan We are, Introverts must die.
This is not introvertion. It's shyness
Thank you for not playing music in the background of this helpful video❤️ much appreciated
Still one of my favorite channels that really got me through some hard times. Wish it was still active.
Step 1: Don't go.
Phew, even that step got me stressed out.
Theres one big piece of advice that solves the introvert at a party problem: DRINK. and if you don’t drink then.. rip fellow introverts
I am an extreme introvert. I cherish my time alone more so than being with others. I'd rather stay home and read a book, watch my favorite show, or listen to music alone in my room than be out with friends at a party. I feel comfortable with a small number of people. Two, three, four at the max. I get nervous meeting new people. I'd rather have no friends than go through the awkwardness of meeting new ones. That's just how we are :)
Me too 👌
Morgan Vizzini Same, but I'm an extreme extrovert one line.
Me too
Same
Same! Here.
After seeing this vid my blood rises 1000% idk I felt like im really there
Exactly
0:05
The extrovert
Complains about the music and how its horrible
The introvert walks up to the extrovert and says
*"Hold My beer"*
1 step party survival: Don't go.
Good idea
GibyTheCat The best. :)
MrKitten I know right? Home alone is a real treat. :)
LOL that's right !
A NewWorld17 yeah! right?
I went to a party yesterday and I was freaking out. I nearly started crying because my anxiety was triggering me.
Hey, the most important thing is it is ok now. You survived that and hopefully for a long time you will be spared of such events. Have some good tea (or beverage of your choice) and enjoy a good time of just relaxing:)
Parties are an awful way of spending time anyway.
Ava you better be joking
Aww, I know that feeling.. Maybe you can try going with a semi-extroverted friend who'll keep you socialised and safe at the same time, or at least a really sympathetic friend or fellow introvert..
Just don't think about the fear. Loosen up, grab a glass, smile a little and do as if you are very content with yourself. Before you know it people will be flocking around you!
get a Doc to prescribe you some klonopin. I remember back when I had panic attacks sooo bad and the only way I could make it through parties etc..Was to take 1mg of Klonopin, smoke a bowl, ( weed..some headdies), and have a beer. But that was 10 yrs ago and Im no longer like that. But I still hate parties.
This video (especially the start where it explains things about introverts and extroverts) made me feel so much better! I am an introvert and quite shy as well and I always have these troubled thoughts about having to socialize! A tip to other introverts : it is true that we prefer small groups of people, so don't try to socialize by going to partys! You will shine when with the right people. (See! I always knew it is not bad to be an introvert! ahah I'm saying this to my mother who always pushes me to socilaize and go to partys and makes me feel even worse in the end!)
Dya think you can even INTERACT to people!?
Especially when people doesn't see you?
Im practically a shadow, which is great as escape tho
When in doubt... find the cats
The Modern Hermeticist lol what
Or dogs
When in doubt... pinkie out
The Modern Hermeticist I'm an extrovert with cats.
I are here meow :3
I already do these on a regular basis. Even a classroom full of students is tiring.
Indeed!
Diego Sheish truee especially everyone always says "why are you so quiet? talk more"
+Syifa Nurkhalisa; thats been every teachers advise for how to improve in the classroom. 'talk more, ask more questions'. i even have a stutter to boot.
Really? In my case, since I've seen my classmates for years, I'm used to them, and it doesn't affect me very negatively.
TOTALLY TRUE!
Thank you, even thought this was made so long ago i get scared at bigger parties much, this helps me a lot
I’m a wannabe extrovert that thrives on that party vibe. I’m in college, but I have no friends or any invites to parties and I sit alone all the time and I’m always unhappy
Last time I went to a party every conversation I had died in 30 seconds flat. I get so nervous I can't think and people must sense it. I feel like I repel people. It makes me kind of hate extroverts.
or you're just bad in conversations, or you look ugly. you can watch videos about how to start converstation, how to continue it, how to get friends etc. etc.
gytis dramblewolfskis
"...or you look ugly"
What does that have to do with anything?
gytis dramblewolfskis "or you look ugly"? How god damn superficial can thou get？！
... I had that very same problem here's what you do... ask.alot.of.questions... everyone and I mean EVERYONE is narcissistic and love to talk about themselves... questions like
so what do you do?
have you lived here long?
how are you finding the hors d'oeuvres? (depends on type of party don't ask this on a casual setting)
this stupid little questions like that are an abomination for both of us... because we don't give a damn... (or at least I don't) but... it will keep them talking for hours...
here's a list on topics you can ask about:
fashion
music
art
literature
video games
relation to EVERYONE at the party
TV shows
EVERYTHING ELSE!!! with the exception of:
topics to avoid
Politics
religion that is it...
good luck...
Radioactive Panda i dont mean you look ugly as in you're born,ungly. I mean you wear light blue baggy jeans,dont watch your head,you smell etc.
When there's noone home, i really enjoy it. I can do whatever i want, it's quite, peaceful, and just relaxing. I don't get bored as i have plenty of different stuff to do. And yes, i do have (a) friend(s), but i usually only hang out with one.
Same
Glad I'm not the only one
Boggy Bolt Same. Except i don't have friends to invite lol
Oh God finally found somebody like me
same
Thank you SO MUCH for this list. This is gonna save my life.
Thanks! These tips will help me! I am an introvert married to an extrovert. He gets invited to parties and loves for me to come too. He knows it's hard for me and exhausting. He always give me the control to decide when to leave, but maybe with these tips, I will be able to enjoy myself a little longer before making the great escape.
Or just stay in your home. Heaven!
Being an introvert is easy, realizing it was hard. When I read Quiet by Susan Cain a bunch of stuff fell into place.
I'd advise anybody to read it, even extroverts can learn something from it, like that it isn't just something you can turn off. You can hide it but you can not turn it off.
I just wish the business world would stop focusing on extroversion. I swear going to job fairs at my university was one of the most stressful things I have ever done, and interviews were really stressful as well because we're taught that the interviewer wants a conversation , and as an introvert you want to be anywhere but there.
Doesn't matter that I had a really high GPA, understood what was needed from me, and willing to work for it because I could not keep the extroverted interviewer's interest....
Sorry went on a rant there. After failing to land a job in my major's vocation, I've been thinking that universities need to work with employers in promoting all personalities.
Introverts have a lot to offer!
Erick K
Erick K that book is ace! I am an extrovert who means to wards introversion- I like parties but I will retreat after a while to be by myself and me only ☺
I'm ordering this book. Thank you. I forgot who I was, dealing with extroverts just to get a damn paycheck. You and this video just reminded me, I am an AWESOME introvert with a lot to contribute to the world in my own quiet way. :-)
Employers want people who can handle social situations and work well in groups, because skills needed for a job can be taught, working well among people on the other hand cannot be.
I have noticed that it may be hard to want to go out and interact with people when your an introvert, but the more you do it the easier it becomes. It may not seem like it but you really can change who you are (for example an introvert can become an extrovert if they wanted to enough) and frankly the more you practice in social interactions the less awkward you become as well. It is never to late to change.
One time I was at a party of 20 or so people. I'm a major introvert so me, my friend Carly and my friend Tina hid in a closet and I took pizza from the table and brought it back to the closet. No joke. Our friends forgot we were in there because the music was loud and they went to the park without us. That was probably the best party I've ever been too. I forgot to mention the three of us were majorly introverted.
Starts at 2.58.
Unless you don't know if you're an introvert.
Also ignore if you're not neurotic. Eysenck's personality theory. Trust me. I'm a non-neurotic introvert.
The worst thing about parties is that they make me realize the difference between myself and others, between my anxiety and feeling awkward to them having fun, flirting and enjoying themselves. Really depresses me, because i want to be like them, but just can't.
I'd like to add another suggestion for party survival: Don't get high or drunk. A couple of beers.. sure. But don't get wasted. It will lower your self control which will help all those feelings of anxiety and stress come out. And trust me.. people will realize. One way or the other.
***** Because humans are social animals, and society is organized around that fact. It's the way of the world. And because of that, as Samurailord correctly said, extroverts are better suited to function in the world we live in.
It's a lot like early birds vs. night owls. Like it or not, the world seems to revolve around getting up early in the morning. Unfortunately, I'm a night owl. It makes it very hard to get along in the world. Everything seems to operate on the basis of being up and active in the morning. I'm a lawyer, and about 95% of my court appearances are in the morning. It's even worse for those of us on the west coast, which is three hours "behind" the east coast. If I need to call an insurance adjuster on the east coast and it's 2:00 in the afternoon here, it's already 5:00 pm over there and everyone's gone home for the day.
If the majority of people are a certain way, the rest of us unfortunately just have to "suck it up" and adapt. It's a struggle, but it's the way things are.
***** For many reasons. No matter if you wanna be successfull in your job, if you wanna get laid, make money as an enterpreneur or just live a happy and fullfilled life.. you need to be an extrovert for everything. At least as a man you are expected to be a dominant, alpha male bursting with self-confience, endless energy and a "i'll have it my way" attutide.
Samurailord
sorry man, but thats not true.
You can do this things even in a "introverted" way.
If you try to change yourself and behave different then you are you will only attract other people who try to hide their "true nature", instead of finding people and relationships with humans, who also went through hardships, but ultimately survived and found a way to "live" in their own way, instead of letting society change them.
Ugh your comment is so true it makes me even that much more aware of what sets me apart from other people... The worst part is knowing that there's really nothing to be done in order to change my personality...
***** What's that?
The sad thing is, all of my friends are extroverts since when I try to become friends with an introvert, I don't. Because I can't make new friends. It's just awkward...
Here are more tips :)
1.) if u wanna leave just call your mom and pretend that your mom wants you to come home
2.) if you need a breather go to the bathroom
3.) come early so you know where the bathroom and other places in the house
4.) if you feel anxious or drained leave, it’s not worth it
5.) if your not having fun leave it’s fine
"introverts have to go to parties and do small talk" hell no I've never went to a party in my whole life and never will, screw social interactions I'm staying home eating cake and playing games
j1a2y3m4y5 same😂
ahahah yeah, fuck normal social interactions
Quete Importa Fuck cars!!
+Klein Don't know what you mean but yeah fuck cars!
j1a2y3m4y5
Yahhhhhhhhh
I use all of these to a point, but I've noticed that people talk how I'm always quiet, both behind my back and to my face, and I'm unable to "own" my introversion, to say stuff like: hey, I'm just introverted, so what? and carry on, so I feel like they think I'm weird and less worthy which led me to having anxiety and sometimes even panic attacks. And yeah, it sucks.
The best part is that I can talk with all these people individually or in small groups, but put them all together and I just lose my cool. :/
Same with me. I can talk to one person at a time when no one is around, but in a group I just don't get the situation.
I'm so happy that there are more people like me xD
Welcome to the club! :)
Yah when ever I hang out with like 6 friends at once I go mute and they keep asking me if I am ok and I hate it.
How you doin' Anna? :P Seriously though, yeah that's the worst thing you can do, ask an introvert why they're quiet, it only makes things worse :D
Yall think its hard being an introvert at a party?
I'm an introvert who had a 1 hour phase of acting extroverted, I planned out the best party ever, told a shit load of people about it, found a friend who could get kegs and a friend who could get weed, and we all spent forever to do the math so we could split the beer/weed cost between the 4 of us and we picked a spot. Now I, an introvert, has to carry through with this "greatest party" ever strategy meaning i have to attend it and host it. Plus its too late to cancel because my friend already bought the weed (spent 300 bucks) and I invited 60+ people and told them to tell everyone they know
Rip
I needed this guide and yes i already have planned all possible escape plans for any party lmao
Sometimes people think that the "i need time alone for recharge" is because you don't like them or you are avoiding them or you are too boring. But i just really need to be alone!!!
I have a great tip: Just sit in front of your computer the whole day and watch some series so you don't have to interact with anyone. Then go grocery shopping at 8pm, so that there are about 5 people in the whole store who all don''t want to talk. Also study from home and always invite just 2 friends or less to your home, where you can be comfortable and tell them to leave at every time, because you need to go grocery shopping, learn or do any other task that seems right in the moment. I mean... It works for me :D
Alicia Katharina awesome mastery of these problems! ;-)
Ludwig Cornely Thank you, I'm becoming a professional since I live alone :D
Alicia Katharina
Actually good advice.
I didn't even realize that I do all of those, without noticing.
Only go out when it's dark/rainy/snowy when others preffer to stay indoors
Are you sure we aren't the same person? Haha
When I finally have to go to parties, I have a few friends there already. Either the host themselves or another friend. All my friends know that I try to avoid parties because I'm an introvert so they all get it. I really appreciate that.
I could be at a party just thinking to myself "man I have a big performance tommorrow and I haven't even got the dance moves down", "I need to remember to get more bananas", "wait, when is spring break?" And then someone would think I'm depressed because of the same sad looking stoned face I've been holding for all of the party
I have an abridged version of this guide for introverts.
Step One) Don't go to parties.
The problem is that sometimes the harassment you will get from family/friends/coworkers for trying to avoid going or not going will be worse than suffering through the party. Not to mention that sometimes you are faced with parties where attendance is de facto mandatory, (e.g. not showing up will tick off your boss).
prospectus
Adam Girts Yes?
I´m an introvert not antisocial. A party sometimes is okay but not every damn weekend.
Lol, I'm a dj. Have to stick with the original guide...
Try this step: always leave the party on a high. Get out of there before your energy is drained. Extroverts will try to talk at you and steal your energy - beware!! There's a playlist of INTROVERT SURVIVAL VIDEOS on my channel BTW
I'm a well trained introvert, but talking to a ton of people drains my energy to the point of going...yeah, no.
I always jet out early...:D
you're talking about weed right?
Theo Bijveld
Lol. Mary Jane does the opposite for me. Makes me dead tired. :D
Theo Bijveld
That is a pick-me-up for me! Does the trick, and I make the haters hate!
So what yours tips for introverts going to their own wedding
Haven't even watched the video, already liked it.
Thank you so much! I really needed this.
i'd like to think im an introvert, what gives me the most energy is watching youtube vids after work, by myself, alone, so gratifying
im an extrovert once a few shots have hit the back of my throat lolol
what kind of shots? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
...the white, sticky kind?
Mr Otaku that's my favourite kind ;)
Lang Kuoch ewwww lmao xD
Mr Otaku Hahah, you started it bro
Ine thing i love with all these introvert videos is that someone else gets it. They understand
Hey! I’m an ambivert and I used to be extroverted, talking to people a lot. It’s still fun to talk with my friends and I’d gladly meet other people too.
For you to socialize in a party I think its best to find a group of people talking about something you know and casually slip in.
People going to parties are there to hang and make friends, good luck!
Another great tip, look for an animal. A cat or a dog, or even fishes. They are great for introverts, they don't require conversation. And also other introvers will seek them out, creating a cozy circle of silence.
Dont look at fishes please, you will look like a freak
(Coming form an introvert)
Also, dont you fucking dare disturbing the dog, just pet him or play with him if he wants to, dont pursue the fucking creature unless someone is disturbing him, then go consolate him
And slap the assholes pursuing him
For some reason it sounds like being introvert is bad. But to me it's not.
I can only talk about my experience, but maybe you can relate.
I might not be someone to talk a lot, but if participating in a conversation I tend to focus more on the content.
I am actually always expecting my opposite to say something of value and I am eager to
extract that very knowledge my conversation partner tries to convey.
However, that's exactly why small talks turns me off so much. It appears bland, unnecessary and mildly treacherous.
That's probably why innitiating a conversation in the first place feels so odd. There is in fact no particular reason to talk to someone you don't know unless of course you need help. But on a party you are literally just killing time trying to have fun.
And forcing yourself to have fun is counterproductive.
I don't mean to generalize this, but if there is something I hate about extroverts it is their superficiality.
Some People should slow down their need to talk and instead listen more carefully, because that's how you "look up" the facts.
From what I've learned in my 21 years of life, it is that miscommunication is one of humanites greatest problems.
ooh i can't stand those people who are just talking all the time and not even trying to listen to other people. It's even worse when two persons of this kind talk to each other, because it looks like they're talking to a wall ,if you know what i mean :) sometimes it seems to me that throughout our entire lives we're trying to make somebody listen to us, but at the same time we don't listen to others
hope you get my point
Kate Wonder
Ohh I can relate to that so much.
It feels bad when someone doesn't even wait for your anser.
Mostly I just keep nodding in that case while thinking:
"Congratz bro here is your prize I approve your talk with a special badge crafted only to suite your chest"
The funny thing is, many people like me for just doing that - listening. They seem to think I sucked up everything they said, without waiting for my response.
One more thing referring to:
"...when two persons of this kind talk to each other, because it looks like they're talking to a wall"
If there is some sort of excitement coming up in a conversation there are those moments somtimes. I am just craving for the right words and stay silent for a while, thinking of the right formulation to get my point across.
But that seems to turn off many people, they intuitively try to fill this void. As if they would prefer a talk thats similar to a sound track being played over an actually interactive and reactive talk.
>It feels bad when someone doesn't even wait for your anser.
i know that feeling! especially when you're trying to say something in response and that person interrupts you and keeps babbling... it just makes me want to leave immediately. that's why a don't understand the importance of small talk, when people are trying to talk to as many people as they can, when they don't even care about them. talk for a talk - what's the point in that?
Kate Wonder
Have a nice day Kate
thanks you too Bananenbauer123
who are the introverts who didn't find this video useful at all ? me ! and who else ?
This video just made me stop going to parties 😂
4 years later, and still haven't attended a single party
This is pure GOLD! Thanks a lot!
So I have to go to a dinner with my parents friends and I am going to try to apply these to the dinner:
1. plan your escape (bathroom, I can't ACTUALLY leave cuz my parents are gonna be there and they have the car)
2. locate your place to go if things get too overwhelming (bathroom)
3. give yourself a task (study the menu)
4. find other introverts (my brother)
5. know when to give yourself a break (bathroom again...how do I go to the bathroom like ten times in two hours without attracting suspicion and unwanted attention?)
Just wanted to add to what else you can do for step 3, make origami out of table napkins or serviettes (my sister did it once which fascinated one of my mum's friend's little kids) :P
Hazel Chief-rabbit Thx
Mimansa Bhalla No probs :)
+Mimansa Bhalla How did it go?
Hamstar Csatornája Awkwardly
Huh this is actually quite correct.
I always get anxiety when people yell
anyone else?
Me too and I look around awkwardly having no idea about what to do
It's nice to know that I'm not alone in that department! Yeah, this happens to me all the time! Talking gently is my preventative measure to reduce the possibility of anything escalating to yelling, but I have really bad anxiety when people around me are yelling! Do you have any way of reducing that anxiety?
+Andrew Wysocki Well you could try avoiding these kind of situations by talking gently like you said. If you are talking to a friend you could ask them to speak more quietly but sometimes that doesn't work so maybe you can try getting out of the room or even put on headphones so you don't have to deal with them anymore lol. But for example if a teacher is yelling well.. you can't do much unfortunately. Try covering your ears I guess?
Glad I'm not alone either!
Hope this helps 😊
Omg same??? Like when someone yells at me I just cry
Everyone gets anxiety when they're being yelled at; it triggers the body's fight-or-flight response
thank you, it's really useful tips that i can use for the next time. a few hours ago i was in a party and didn't know how to act so i spend it on my phone not looking or interact to anyone. it's hard time for me to be in a crowded place with high music.
I knew I was an introvert but this video described me almost exactly including reaction to external stimuli. Before even seeing this I found myself initiating some of the 5 steps just to get through the evening.
Or you could follow my one easy step: Never go to parties. Don't feel pushed to do these things if you really don't want to. Don't let extroverts push you around.
yusuke are you and kolabara lovers or how ever you spell it you seem like it
As an introvert i could say: I want to go to parties and enjoy. I don't feel push, i just want to get some drink and have a nice night. But if i don't match, or know someone... fuck off, i tried it.
Introverts aren't antisocial (generally)
Btw: alcohol helps. Weed: .... sometimes, it's complicated.
***** I used to drink a lot to force myself to be an extrovert and developed a drinking problem. Why? Because I was making friends with alcoholic extroverts and had to drink to keep up and "be fun". Now I don't drink at all and have done some serious housecleaning with those "friends". I like other introverts and a big party to them is a dinner with 8-10 close friends (those don't happen very often). I agree with OP, don't go to parties if they make you unhappy. Using chemicals to force yourself into being something you are not for other people who don't really care to understand you is not worth it. :)
Simon The Digger YES!!!
the fact that being alone is depressing for me probably means I'm just socially awkward, not introverted lol
MrMetalHead1100 not quite true. Everyone (excluding people with certain disorders, e.g. APD) gets lonely. Look up Eysenck's personality theory for a real explanation of introversion/extraversion that also covers neuroticism and psychoticism which were omitted from this video due to either a lack of research/understanding or for the sake of simplicity.
Saul Goodman, okay to be fair it's severe APD that removed a person from loneliness, as in crippling serial killer levels of APD. Not really a majority, more a minority amongst minority's. Oh, and I show up on the APD spectrum as well. Not yet established the severity of my case, but I don't really get loneliness. I don't quite understand it. I can mimic it fairly well though.
There are different types of introverts. Some genuinely don't like people, while some want to be alone but still wants company every now and then. Some introverts like being alone, but not feeling lonely in other words.
Thank you! Even though I usually use this, it just helps even more.
Always make sure to not go alone - always take a close friend with you that is as shy as you are or likes to include you to his or her conversations with other people. With the help of someone like that, it is a whole lot easier to feel comfortable and to even make new friends!
Im an introvert with an extremely extroverted personality. I can be the life of the party, give speeches in front of thousands of people no problem. However, I only have short spurts of energy to do this before I become "brain dead" where I need my alone time. Once my energy is drained I can be cranky and moody. I always wanted to badly to compete for the center of attention with extroverts for popularity but im now realizing that im in a losing race. MY brain chemistry and energy level always gets depleted whenever i try to participate in large social activities or popularity contests.
Same, honestly.
+El Gringo Dude same. When I talk to someone in a group of people I don't know, I may have the energy to show off to all of them. But then later on I lose interest and I just don't wanna talk to them anymore. I mean I wanna talk to people and don't wanna be alone, make friends, but then feel like I don't want to move on with it. Is this normal :( ?
+Triple D seems like you are my clone, im having the exact same problem. Whenever im in groups with 3-5 people i feel comftable and even can laugh a lot. But when im alone with another one or a girl, i have to think of everything twice about what i want to say. The result is that i never have good converstations with people moreover they dont really want to do something with me plus i dont get a a grilfriend easily.
felix ml Yeah I can handle it if another guy or girl comes in but I just lose my interest after awhile like I wanna go somewhere else
+El Gringo Same, I'm usually the sarcastic, punny friend that cracks most of the jokes to get people laughing. Though I love seeing and making people happy, just being in a huge, crowded environment drains me and I've even had anxiety attacks in the past because of it. However, something I've discovered for myself to help me stay calm in huge places has helped. Like reading alone at a cafe or restaurant, people will leave me alone, and sometimes another introvert or book lover in general will come over and talk to me about my book. Or going to a concert that I would love to go to, but there is too many faces there and it's all cramped. I only go to those with a maximum of two close friends, or I go by myself. I also live in PA, so most concerts take place in large fields, people who stand or sit in the fields pay less, this is what me and other introverts do since it's not cramped and you get to see all of the light and stage work. Sorry for the long post that probably doesn't have much to do with your comment. Have a good one, now.
Okay so, I get really tired after parties and I CANNOT talk to a group of over 6 people without my energy draining away and getting a headache. I also hate it when I'm in class and we're working and the noise level is through the roof. Other than that, I like socializing if it's with a close friend and/or someone with whom the conversation won't get awkward.
Anyone else?
omg samee! I hate it when its too loud in class and I can't talk to my classmates because when the topics of talking are over, there will be that awkward silence. Also every time when I have to talk to people like for buying something or asking about the direction if I'm lost, I do dozens of scenarios in my head about what to say and what to do
I have found my people
I have the same problem.I plan a bunch of scenarios in my head of what that person could possibly say then they say something completely different! I'm like "Will you just stick to the plan in my head?!" I also have the same problem in class.People will just talk and talk while the teacher is trying to teach and I think "Why did you come here if you're just going to set yourself up to fail in life?Just stay home if you're going to act like an idiot because i don't want you dragging me down when your disruptions land you working at a dumpster."
LillyPotter352
RIGHT? And I especially cannot stand when I plan out a scenario and everything goes to plan.... except then I forget the scenario.
+Ria D. yup the struggle is real XD
What a helpful tutorial! Thanks
Me sitting alone on terrace ,at a family wedding watching this to console myself
I am not alone
about the step three, if you're an introvert with social anxiety, this is really not gonna help you, like, helping with serving the food, oh my god, for me it's even worse than staying in a party for too long
because a lot of communication of offering food is non verbal. you bring a platter of food and they know what youre offering- easy.
***** can't relate. i would rather stand doing nothing than serving food, feeling like i'm bothering people, i would prolly do awkward thing, drop food or smtgh, i cant even imagine.
moose the awkward thing is getting their attention when theyre in a closed group :/
Kirothe Avenger that"s one of the thing i'd fear
***** good tips but most of the time i'm the one that over-react in my head and i feel ridiculous, i mean yea i can stay calm, thats what i always do at my best
you should have mentioned that there are also ambiverts like me. I can an introvert and extrovert at the same time depending on the situation and my mood.
Everyone is
Nobody is only extro/introvert all the time
I don't think you know how this works
Miky Ježek people on a autism spectrum are.
Ashkan Ahmadi Me too!!!
THAT IS LITERALLY EVERYONE YOU IDIOT, STOP TRYING TO BE SPECIAL, IF YOU WANNA BE SPECIAL, GET A HOBBY
Us introverts see the world differently, we cringe at other people’s fake behaviour that really isn’t who they are and it really pushes you away. You yourself could put on a fake personality and look extroverted but in the long run, introverts will never feel heartbroken 🤙🏼❤️
Being introverted I found that when I go to parties with my friends it's fine. Once at the party I take enough shots or drinks and then I'm more open to talking to people. However, once I'm sobering up it's terrifying.
Im introvert and i have problem in socializing with others. That makes others think that im a snobbish person.
+Tterressa Abellera Don't worry, you're not alone. That's exactly how I feel :(
xXDisneyFanAtHeartXx we should hangout together 😀😀😀
Yeah :D I think we'd be perfect friends
xXDisneyFanAtHeartXx i think it would be great
me too :)
I don't get anxiety from parties, i just get very bored. I want to enjoy parties and going out so I'll pregame with my roommates. Drinking, smoking playing some video games before we hit the town. I enjoy this way more than going out. We go out and find a party and usually within a half hour I regret going out. I don't drink so sometimes I'm the dd for my friends so I can't leave. I get stuck at some party, bored out of my mind and all I want to do is go back home sit in my room put on some music. I love sitting in my room alone, turning all the light off, smoke a joint, put on some music, and get lost in my thoughts.
+piratesfan1995able OMG i think the same way!
I HATE party's I just hate being social and worried and
Yess i get bored too 😑
This was much needed
I don't really feel insecure or afraid in any way at a party, just bored. I don't find anything to do (besides eating, which I could be doing alone on my own). I feel more irritated than anything, I hate the loud music, I hate loud places and people, I hate dancing and I hate the feeling of being in a group, thats why when I go out with friends I go with one at a time, never in groups, or even small groups. Just me and other friend. That's my limit