Thank you so much for addressing my exact issue with the language being used around people-pleasing which has turned into another round of “point the finger” on the internet.
I've been through a journey of breaking people pleasing. I've gotten so much better at saying no, and not succumbing to guilt trips from others. Now, I'm at the stage where I need to find my voice and learn to establish boundaries and consequences without being aggressive lol.
Your channel embodies: “There is no one like you on here and that’s your power!” I read and intake a lot of self help stuff and sometimes it can get all jumbled in my brain. You used the exact language that utilizes common words but with the depths of someone aware of all the concepts in the self help world. It’s not coaching nor is it therapist lingo. But it’s the awareness beyond that. Thank you for sharing. You’ve gained an instant subscriber.
I have struggled with knowing if I'm people pleasing or just being kind and ended up self isolating because I didn't want to deal with any of it. I've gotten better at catching whether the people that get involved in my life are narcissistic or not and if they are, I don't entertain them.
Just want to say that your videos are amazing and you speak about issues that everyone goes through but no one knows how to address. I’m obsessed with all of your videos! Please keep making more :)
My parents were controlling over me and they made alot of decisios in my life in my earlier years. I had to do art courses and go to art college to please them. I started manifestation afew years ago which has given me more hope for myself. I'm working on my life through manifestation practices.
Thank you so much 🥹 It's really rewarding making these videos and forcing myself to think about this stuff in this way. I'm so glad other people are finding it valuable as well ♥️
Discovered your channel recently and have loved everything you’ve shared! I recently heard this from another creator and thought you’d appreciate: she said she’s moved away from saying she’s working to become the “best” version of herself to instead saying her “favorite” version of herself, and I really love that! Takes some pressure off of the whole pursuit and lets us look at it in a different, helpful way imo!
i think we actually must have been friends in our past lives bc i found your videos at the perfect time. the first video i watched from you was about manifesting to change ur life and i’ve been on my self care journey ever since. thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and helping everyone become the best version of themselves
My therapist told me I was a people pleaser and it was a sincere breakthrough. I had seen this on my recommended and ignored it because I thought it couldn’t be me 😂
I agree that the word "manipulation" isn't the most accurate depiction of people pleasing. Far from it. Another insightful, succinct, video. Well done! 😊👏🔥
I believe I believe I’m a kind soul Peaceful and benevolent I believe in truth, in honesty and loyalty I believe in compassion and kindness And if you come to my door in need I will let you in, for I believe in you And if you deceive me, I will not blame you And I will set the table with the king’s feast Candles and Sunday’s best For I believe in lenity and grace And if you lie to me, I will know why And look within to my own faults and frailties So that I may become a better friend As I believe in commitment And when you use me and abuse me I will change my ways For I know no journey is without pain and obstacles And demands hard work and purpose And when you steal from me Criticize and chastise me Belittle the very meal I laboured on for you I will cry in silence as not to trouble you For I believe I believe I’m a kind soul Peaceful and benevolent I believe in truth, respect and dignity So will you forgive me now For I cannot believe In me with you Goodbye friend
This resonated with me at a whole other level and I want to thank you for addressing this and actually explaining people pleasing from a kind, compassionate angle, where people just want to be accepted and this is their only way of doing so. I also want to thank you for offering practical, sensible advice, which I will definitely pop into my notes app and put into practice until it becomes automatic. I listen to many videos of this kind and I must say they always offer elaborate, lengthy decision making processes which are not feasible in real time conversations, but you explained it so well and succinctly it makes me believe I got a chance to change my ways. Wish me luck in applying this in my day to day life, and keep going with these insightful videos!!
I have CPTSD and it seems it overlap with ADHD. I don't have a way to know because I'm broke but I see I have many symptons. It seems ADHD is under studied in girls and women and many have been diagnosed as anxiety disorder or bipolar.
(I like to save videos and then when something in a certain point of the video sticks out I make a note on why I saved the vid so ignore this comment if you want) NOTES/ANNOTATIONS FOR ME: 1:55 what is people pleasing (difference between actions/decisions motivated by fear and motivated by self-desire/fufillment) 3:22 people pleasing comes from a self of not feeling wanted 13:24 work scenarios how to approach situations 16:51 reciprocity: i used to get upset when i would give my all for someone just for them to not ever reciprocate, so this gives me a new light
I was with a man. I had to travel for an hour and a half to see him and cook a big meal and a cake and then go all the way home again after midnight. When I said I wouldn't do it anymore, he wouldn't see me again. I stopped pleasing him and I lost him. I'm heartbroken but he won't take me back now
You should not feel heartbroken, you should feel relieved/happy that they are out of your life now. They were using you. The fact you had to put all the work into the relationship and they gave nothing back, plus they abandoned you when you finally said no means they did not actually care about you as a friend. In a good/healthy relationship both parties give and take and would also be willing to compromise (e.g. you travel to them but they prepare the meal for you). You need to focus on how much better off you are without them because they are not worth your time or energy. You deserve and will find so much better.
Girl he was using you as a cook plz tell me you also didnt do his laundry and clean the house count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you will find somone that actually loves you.
I just found your channel, and I'm so glad I did! Your great tips and inspiration on how to heal are truly uplifting. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and creating such a positive space for all of us. You're making a real difference! 🫶
![How to ACTUALLY Reach Your Goals [5 Steps]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n8Wvznbt3Po/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you so much for addressing my exact issue with the language being used around people-pleasing which has turned into another round of “point the finger” on the internet.
I've been through a journey of breaking people pleasing. I've gotten so much better at saying no, and not succumbing to guilt trips from others. Now, I'm at the stage where I need to find my voice and learn to establish boundaries and consequences without being aggressive lol.
u gonna be the next big yt gurl I feel it 🧠🤍🌟😭
And there’s so much wisdom in your words! You’re giving pep talks like a big sis would.
Literally 😭 the big sis we all need and want!
Your channel embodies: “There is no one like you on here and that’s your power!”
I read and intake a lot of self help stuff and sometimes it can get all jumbled in my brain. You used the exact language that utilizes common words but with the depths of someone aware of all the concepts in the self help world. It’s not coaching nor is it therapist lingo. But it’s the awareness beyond that. Thank you for sharing. You’ve gained an instant subscriber.
seriously. She is so assuring and it rly calms the anxiety in my head that is constantly questioning whether or not im being ok.
Yes! Collegecleaneating (Katrina McKenna) says this all the time, but having the thoughts behind it really helps
I have struggled with knowing if I'm people pleasing or just being kind and ended up self isolating because I didn't want to deal with any of it. I've gotten better at catching whether the people that get involved in my life are narcissistic or not and if they are, I don't entertain them.
Just want to say that your videos are amazing and you speak about issues that everyone goes through but no one knows how to address. I’m obsessed with all of your videos! Please keep making more :)
My parents were controlling over me and they made alot of decisios in my life in my earlier years. I had to do art courses and go to art college to please them. I started manifestation afew years ago which has given me more hope for myself. I'm working on my life through manifestation practices.
You are in the right direction! Content is fabulous
Thank you so much 🥹 It's really rewarding making these videos and forcing myself to think about this stuff in this way. I'm so glad other people are finding it valuable as well ♥️
Ouch. Really, really wish my younger self could've heard this. ❤
Discovered your channel recently and have loved everything you’ve shared! I recently heard this from another creator and thought you’d appreciate: she said she’s moved away from saying she’s working to become the “best” version of herself to instead saying her “favorite” version of herself, and I really love that! Takes some pressure off of the whole pursuit and lets us look at it in a different, helpful way imo!
omg girl I remember when you had like 200 followers!! now look at you! ❤
found your page last night, you are incredible. thank you for making the content you do, it feels like you’re inside of my brain, i feel SO understood
i think we actually must have been friends in our past lives bc i found your videos at the perfect time. the first video i watched from you was about manifesting to change ur life and i’ve been on my self care journey ever since. thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and helping everyone become the best version of themselves
wow. every point made in this video resonated with me so deeply and i found myself even tearing up at certain points! absolutely amazing job!
My therapist told me I was a people pleaser and it was a sincere breakthrough. I had seen this on my recommended and ignored it because I thought it couldn’t be me 😂
I agree that the word "manipulation" isn't the most accurate depiction of people pleasing. Far from it. Another insightful, succinct, video. Well done! 😊👏🔥
I appreciate your content sm, this has been part of my morning routine this week and it’s really helping me asses my thoughts throughout the day.
That means so much to me. Thank you!
❤ How timely! I just learned I have ADHD and people-pleasing is a key condition for my situation. Will be interested to hear from this angle too.
Ohh that's really interesting! Could it be a rejection sensitivity sort of thing?
@@charlottemorabito Exactly!
I believe
I believe I’m a kind soul
Peaceful and benevolent
I believe in truth, in honesty and loyalty
I believe in compassion and kindness
And if you come to my door in need
I will let you in, for I believe in you
And if you deceive me,
I will not blame you
And I will set the table with the king’s feast
Candles and Sunday’s best
For I believe in lenity and grace
And if you lie to me,
I will know why And look within to my own faults and frailties
So that I may become a better friend
As I believe in commitment
And when you use me and abuse me
I will change my ways
For I know no journey is without pain and obstacles
And demands hard work and purpose
And when you steal from me
Criticize and chastise me
Belittle the very meal I laboured on for you
I will cry in silence as not to trouble you
For I believe
I believe I’m a kind soul
Peaceful and benevolent
I believe in truth, respect and dignity
So will you forgive me now
For I cannot believe
In me with you
Goodbye friend
thank you so much for this ❤
This resonated with me at a whole other level and I want to thank you for addressing this and actually explaining people pleasing from a kind, compassionate angle, where people just want to be accepted and this is their only way of doing so. I also want to thank you for offering practical, sensible advice, which I will definitely pop into my notes app and put into practice until it becomes automatic. I listen to many videos of this kind and I must say they always offer elaborate, lengthy decision making processes which are not feasible in real time conversations, but you explained it so well and succinctly it makes me believe I got a chance to change my ways. Wish me luck in applying this in my day to day life, and keep going with these insightful videos!!
I think you should make podcast in spotify too..
love your videos
The boundary sped up what should have happened to begin with🤯
I have CPTSD and it seems it overlap with ADHD. I don't have a way to know because I'm broke but I see I have many symptons.
It seems ADHD is under studied in girls and women and many have been diagnosed as anxiety disorder or bipolar.
Being accommodating is what I love to do for people. It’s fun being of service for me
(I like to save videos and then when something in a certain point of the video sticks out I make a note on why I saved the vid so ignore this comment if you want)
NOTES/ANNOTATIONS FOR ME:
1:55 what is people pleasing (difference between actions/decisions motivated by fear and motivated by self-desire/fufillment)
3:22 people pleasing comes from a self of not feeling wanted
13:24 work scenarios how to approach situations
16:51 reciprocity: i used to get upset when i would give my all for someone just for them to not ever reciprocate, so this gives me a new light
I was with a man. I had to travel for an hour and a half to see him and cook a big meal and a cake and then go all the way home again after midnight. When I said I wouldn't do it anymore, he wouldn't see me again. I stopped pleasing him and I lost him. I'm heartbroken but he won't take me back now
You should not feel heartbroken, you should feel relieved/happy that they are out of your life now. They were using you. The fact you had to put all the work into the relationship and they gave nothing back, plus they abandoned you when you finally said no means they did not actually care about you as a friend. In a good/healthy relationship both parties give and take and would also be willing to compromise (e.g. you travel to them but they prepare the meal for you). You need to focus on how much better off you are without them because they are not worth your time or energy. You deserve and will find so much better.
Girl he was using you as a cook plz tell me you also didnt do his laundry and clean the house count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you will find somone that actually loves you.
So many questions and words in that quiz.
Crap, I’m a people pleaser
Thank you for being so kind Charlotte
I just found your channel, and I'm so glad I did! Your great tips and inspiration on how to heal are truly uplifting. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and creating such a positive space for all of us. You're making a real difference! 🫶
ok 9:00 felt like a personal attack so i definitely need to work on that lol
Same 😂
Thankyouu🤎absolutely needed this
pleaseee ive been waiting to hear this and I need to play this everyday because such good reminders ❤️🩹