Can A Gay Man And A Straight Man Be Friends?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- He's gay...his friend is straight...can they gasp BE FRIENDS? Well, turns out it's a little more nuanced!
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Sure but it's woman that will think your gay and men too . I had a girl I was dating thinking I was gay because I had a gay friend that I know since 1993 and it was 2003 he came out as gay I am not going to stop being his friend because he is gay.
Are you one hundred percent straight or bi curious at all?
I sure will thank your gay because why would you need to be friends with a gay man and you’re supposed to be straight sorry I don’t believe that a gay man can be straight friends with a straight man due to the gay man starting to have feelings for the straight man it would be like a woman and man being friends and that woman
starting to have feelings for her male friend same with a gay man starting to have feelings for his straight male friend.
@@CandanceOnlinefalse, a gay man can be friends with straight men, people have different types and everything
You think a gay guy who says likes fem boys would like his straight friend who’s got a beard and he’s like a manliest of men? Of course not
Like if I was friends with a far girl I ain’t gonna catch feelings and if she liked Mexican guys then she won’t have feelings for me
Alote to think about here dude
@@CandanceOnlinethe black community is questionable
Even though I wouldn’t say I could never be friends with a straight guy, I’m put off by my experiences with them. It’s not homophobia at all. Most aren’t in my experience. But the kind of men who very drawn to gay men always tend to be in the closet. That is my experience as a gay guy. I’m not interested in that, so for relationships I just go for other gay men and hence am around other gay people more. Whatever.
Absolutely. I’m gay and my best friend was straight, he passed away, but we were the best of friends for almost 10 years. He went to gay bars with me and I went to clubs with him. It’s was a friendship. That’s what friends do.
Was your relationship strictly platonic though?
@@xeganxerxes4319 Completely. We shared a kiss once on St Patrick’s after a lot of beer, but that was it. We lived together for over a year too, in a 1 bedroom. We were like brothers. It happens all the time.
Half my close friends are straight, cause they’re my friends. Not all of them are eager to go to a gay bar as he was, but they’ve all been, with me. Friends gonna friend.
@@cateskategaymer817 Why would a straight guy tho to gay bars though? To pick up guys?
@@xeganxerxes4319 NO to support his friend?!?! Friends do shit. He’d go with me as wing man. We both did that. Is this really that foreign? FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS
Yes, they can. It's a friend period. Who cares of they're gay or not. 🙄😒
But some gay men try to hit on straight men, knowing that straight men are not into the same sex.
Me
@@ACORNyMOFO Because you are strange.
I'm a gay white man, and I've never met a straight white man that wants a friendship. I don't think it's possible for gays and straights to be friends. They'll be polite and nice to each other, but that's it.
I'm a gay black man. I have tons of straight friends. I was in the military too (before and after DADT), all my military buds are STILL my friends.
you're going off your personal experience, this is talking about in general, not from your point of view.
I'm a straight white guy, my best friend is a gay man. We hang out all the time and share similar interests. I also have another gay friend who I used to work with whom I still talk regularly. This sounds like YOUR personal experience, and not a be-all-end-all. Perhaps you aren't putting yourself out there enough in the straight community? I noticed this about A LOT of gay men - they hang out with other gay men, and sometimes straight or gay women. They never really congregate around places where straight white males hang out.
@@landonp629 Many gay men don't feel safe hanging around groups of straight men. It's getting better but it will never go completely away till everyone respects each other's innate characteristics such as sexuality & gender identity. Unfortunately at the moment we aren't there yet as a species. I mean people have their own internal phobias to deal with as well.
@@landonp629You're an exception and I highly suspect that your friendship with the gay guy was already established before you find out
Let's honestly face it: straight males' intoxication to masculinity obsession doesn't not allow an actual friendship with a gay guy.
I'm saying that as a gay that wants my brothers to not waste time and energy. No offense, you may be a good person.
I think so, I had one gay friend, pretty cool dude, lmao we had some funny ass conversations, man I kinda wanna talk to him now I ain’t talked to him in forever, kinda got me missing my gay friend no homo
If you are a heterosexual man and are open to being friends with gay men, you are a real one. Why? Because you rise above societal stigma and treat everyone equally, demonstrating true humanity. Well done 👏🏽
04:15 Oh, God, that dreaded "man up" barb is the best way to alienate a gay man and shut down any possibility of genuine connection. The problem's definitely not exclusive to the black community in my unfortunate experience. Great discussion! 👌 #2341
"He's my brother, let us live in peace"
This was a terrific discussion. MANY of us gay guys have close straight friends, so that aspect is entirely possible. The issue raised by the questioner involves a straight guy's hesitation to hang out publicly with a gay friend, there may be reasons, as mentioned in this discussion. Patience and respect go a long way, and there's no need to back out of a beneficial friendship that isn't exactly the way you want it.
my only question that wasn't posed in this situation is maybe there is a miscommunication with "hanging out" maybe he thinks this is the beginning of trying to ask the straight friend out on a date? maybe he needs to frame it as a joke and be like "bro you're so not my type, I just wanna go to the club, I'll be your wing man" you know what I mean? maybe straight friend thinks they were getting to close and is now being seen as a possible dating option for the gay friend so they are trying to distance themselves
I think you're right.
Yeah you're right. In my experience, my straight guy friends kind of get a little strange when I ask to hang out. I have no interest in them whatsoever but I can tell there are some gears turning in their head like "is this where Andrew's gonna say he had a crush on me this whole time". For me? Of course not. But it's a legit thought.
@@andrewvanasdall687 , I don't think they're being strange. They just don't want a gay man getting the wrong idea or falling for them. It's the same reason lesbians and straight women avoid friendships with straight men or bisexual men.
Yes it is possible I can attest to that. I have came across people of all kinds. Weeded out the ignorants and still till this day have cultivated genuine friendships with people from all walks of life. I’m talking about true friendships where one looks out for each other. Help elevate, encourage and inspire one another. Not acquaintances and superficial minded opportunists.
I don't know about other people, but I'm a gay man and I'm friends with 3 men, separately (we're not a group). One is bi, one is asexual, and the last one is straight. I did come out to each of them years after I met them. And although I'm living in Iran, which is a very homophobic country, none of them seem to care about it. It sure made me more comfortable around them, esp my straight friend. And I think the weight of such a friendship is usually on us (gay or bi men). Most of the times, they don't care what you do, and they won't say anything about what you like. Like I asked my straight friend, "I'm sure I'm bothering you with sending you reels of hot men that I like (on Instagram)." He just replied, "I don't mind because it's you (who is sending them)." So what I'm trying to say is that you should never hit on them, and sometimes you need to tolerate them because they may not be as emotional or sensitive as us (I didn't experience that with my bi friend and asexual friend. Straight men can *sound* cold and emotionless). But the friendship will eventually be fine. Don't worry.❤
I have about 6 straight male friends that I’m pretty close to, so definitely yes. It annoys me when people think straight guys are gay or “sus” for hanging out with another gay guy because I honestly see them like brothers and the thought of something intimate happening between us makes me really uncomfortable, because I know a situation like that could just jeopardize our friendship. Just like having another gay male as a friend, I would respect the fact that we are friends and just that. Straight men need gay best friends, just as much (if not, even more) as women do. It’s crazy to me that this isn’t normalized already
It’s been 4 months dating my man , I’m now discovering many of his friends & I just noticed that he spends most of the time with this gay friend, he hasn’t told me anything about his friend being gay . But as his woman I’m really not comfortable with him spending most of time with his gay friend . I really don’t know how to address this to him cause I don’t wanna ruin anything especially that they’ve known each other from high school
If you were friends since childhood that doesn't count ....I think the real question is as grown adults if some random straight men will be a gay's friend ..the answer is NO.
No, the answer is ‘Yes’ actually.
I got a gay black friend he cool
I'll be surprised if not. My bestie & my hubby get along. So I do get along with my besties hubby
Comments on 4ever"single oming others relations . . .
Shout out America
It would be very sad if this was true, and it sounds like it is.
I spent my childhood and teenage years in a multicultural country and the only reason a gay guy couldn't hang out with a straight guy is if the straight guy was homophobic.
In NZ I hung out with multicoloured friends gay and straight... if someone wondered if someone was gay they would be ask and their answer believed with mostly no big deal... Unless homophobic which could sometimes mean violence sadly no matter what colour your out side was.
Linda, that's not the only reason. What about gay men who do not respect that straight men are straight and only into women? Some gay men will try to sexually harrass or convert straight men? It's similar to why women/lesbians do not want to be friends with straight men.
@@renealexander2703 that wasn't even a question in this conversation?
However I'm pretty sure there are both straight and gay guys that try to make something out of nothing there at times. Hell we've all experienced that.
So you say 'No not interested."
Unless they are creepy and pushy once again gay or straight and then you won't want to hang out at all.
@@valuba , okay but my point is that straight guys being homophobic is not the "only" reason for gay and straight men being friends. Don't forget that some gay men might disrespect a straight man's sexual orientation.
@@renealexander2703 I understand what point that you are trying to make.
It's the same kind of point that creates fear towards any other lifestyle or race or religion etc we don't understand.
It's creates fear of the might happen through ignorance of understanding how someone different than us might live.
I know it can happen at times.
But to long a whole bunch of people in there doesn't make sense to me.
By saying you have a have of a fear of a gay man hitting on a straight man and not taking no for an answer when they find out no interest is like saying all straight men will take advantage of other woman if they can.
Of course it happens. But if any one pushes them self on any one else sexually with out consent there is a name for that.
@@valuba , but it's not about fear or ignorance. It's facts. Some gay men DO try to convert, hit on, or sexually harrass straight men. Some of them DO disrespect straight men. It's similar to how a lesbian/women might not want to be friends with a straight man. You can't point fingers at straight men but ignore how gay men can contribute to straight men not wanting to be friends with them. You have to be fair. If people want to be friends with someone who will never be sexually or romantically attracted to them, that's their right. Maybe you are fine with being friends with people who could be romantically/sexually attracted to you, but that doesn't mean that others have to. Respect that.
Well it depends on the settings. Professionally as in work colleagues and that yes but in real life nahaaah
The problem is always with the straight guys, not the gay guys. It always stems from straight men thinking that they are superior over gay men. That's always where the distance stems from.
I have a friend i grew up with since kids that turned out to be gay. I neber atopped being his freind despite the fact im the very masculine straight right wing kind of guy. I beleive in freeeom and he has right to live how he wishes. So been friends 30 years now. However rexently things have gone sour. Ive become very concerned about the fact we are 40 years old mow and he constanty wants to hand around teenage boys. And hes always befriending underage boys amd claiming he feels bad for them because they have no dad. One 13 year old he calls his nephew and turns out no relation at all. Its to much to explain but my alarm has went off about it. Ive been very tolerant and open minded with him. I never treated him any different than any other friend. But at 40 years old always wanting to be around teen boys bothers me. He dated a 19 year old which is legal, but in my eyes as grown man hes pretty much a kid. But its how hes always trying to adopt the underage boys and so invested in them that alarms me. Its not normal. I dont think hes molesting them but i do think he is attracted to them in some weird way that i dont understand. Hes like on the 3rd boy he claims he is 'raising up" and loves like hes a son. Kid is 13. Im sorry but something aint right and ive learned to trust my gut
That's not because he's gay . Most men who act on children are straight men and many times are married to women and have sexual relations with women. You need to ask your freind what he has in mind with these children even if you ask him outright if he is sexually attracted to them or using them for some less than acceptable means. Just ask him straight out and tell him that it looks like he's trying to groom them. and if he is then you need to call the authorites.
'straight macho right wing' 🥴🥴 ends up randomly connecting gays with pedophilia despite majority of pedophiles being straight. But oh, he 'got a friend that is'. Try again looser
I'm gay and my best friend is straight! We hang out all the time and tell each other everything, EVERYTHING, lol. I wouldn't trade him for the world. He recently told me that I gotta baptize his child if he ever has one. So to answer the title question to this video, Yes it is possible.
So good to know 😊
I have a friend from highschool who identifies as bisexual. While I personally identify as straight and he knows this we are still very good friends.
I'm a woman and both my best friends are guys, one is gay one is not. (I do have woman friends too)
Same
It doesn’t matter what the skin color is, this happens among any groups of people. I am Hispanic and it’s the same problem that I have with most of my guy friends and I feel insecure around them because I don’t know how to act around them and how they’re gonna act around me. Like come on I just need friends idc about all that stereotypical crap
Find gay friends and avoid the straight drama. Not many changes for something meaningful with them
One of my best friends since we played in mud puddles when we were 3 years old I came out to him before anyone else knew another buddy of ours ghosted me when I told him , he belittled and teased my best bud about remaining close to me as always he asked him once " Dude do you know what he is " he responded yes I do he is my brother, my best friend anything else does not matter. I am grateful to have this straight man as not only my friend he is my brother . He is my ride or die friend who always has my back and I will always have his
Wow, that's very touching ❤
As a gay male- ABSOLUTELY NOT!! 🙅♂️🙅♂️- it doesn't work
Sorry if you have gay friends you are gay!
For you, yes. In reality, it CAN work 🤦🏽♂️
One of my husband's friends is gay. He is a lovely man. They get on really well. They love to nerd-out about electronic stuff ( especially home automation *yawn*). They are both white - rural England - and I have absolutely no issue whatsoever! Sorry, what is the problem again?
Do you compare England with Africans? The difference it's obvious
@@manos5464The difference is Africa is backwards, whereas England is NOT.
As a gay man, I always thought that my avoidant from straight guys as friends is only from my unjustified fear of rejection and discrimination that roaming in my head.
Now after I watched this video I'm realizing that this fear is based on facts, no matter if it is 30 or 40 precent, it's still a high chances of being rejected.
And even if someone will have friendship with someone even though he's gay, what kind of friendship will it be? Will it be as mutual and deep as it could be if their friend wasn't gay? I doubt that. That's interesting because I had thoughts about challenging my fears and work on my communication skills with men, and especially with straights, but now I have doubts...
Absolutely. I have an "inner circle" straight friend for 30 years. The friendship's success depends on the gay guy not being attracted to the straight guy.
Wouldn't it make more sense if the success rate was based not on attraction but the respect to not engage or try hitting on them and not acting on those feelings. You can have feelings. Just no touching.
@@CallingAllMadMen it's possible but it can create awkwardness, frustration and emotional issues for the gay man if he develops feelings for the straight man. Being in love with a straight man is not a good thing
I have a straight friend who unfortunately I am attracted too but I know to never cross that line. I respect him enough and his marriage and our friendship far more then to ever act on that. I’ve met his family, we’ve gone out multiple times and hang out and have been there for one another during hard times. It’s possible but unfortunately many let those emotions lead them down the wrong path. It’s about being able to respect them and yourself.
For shore it's not fair for the strate guy to be friendly while the gay guy goes home and jacks off to him.
@@dddayesq5061 my friend did things like that as well when we were in high school/college but since he was only joking and I was not attracted to him it never was a problem
No! If he is gay, his best friend is gay too!
Theater Department graduate here, yes they can be friends, takes a person that is secure in themselves to not worry about what someone's gender/sexual preference is. If more were this secure in themselves this world would be a bit more kind loving and accepting.
But some gay men are not accepting of straight men's sexual orientation.
@@renealexander2703 inappropriate unwanted sexual advances happen when the horny have no self discipline nor moral compass, they want what they want.
You all got an awesome show! Great work ya got here and excellent subject matter!
I've been out for 40 years, and while my husband came out later in life, he has been out for 30 years. I do think it's harder to be friends with straight guys because of the stigma they have to deal with, like you've mentioned, but it is absolutely possible--and it is easier now than it ever was in the past. My best friends are nearly all straight. I have a more difficult time hanging out with gay men, honestly. My partner and I (27 years together, 11 years married) have one gay couple we spend a lot of time with (they are easy to be around), and we have some gay friends we see fairly infrequently. But the vast majority of the friends we see day-to-day are straight. There are fewer games.
And don’t just say it’s wrong without explaining. Because if it is wrong to ask how someone identifies themselves, then why are we asking can a gay man and straight man be friends?
They could be a very good friend
The dude on the right is an undercover brother!
YES YOU CAN YOU CAN BUT ITS "GUILT BY ASOCIATION"
I disagree
A blue 💙 world eyah
No not possible because I personally would think a gay man would start to have feelings for that straight man and the friendship would start to get awkward .
Sounds like you don't want a man hitting on your man. Why is that?
That’s not how that works. Nice try though.
You think gays will fall in love with every man? Hahahahaha, what a clown
As long as they don’t come off the wrong way they can be friends. My fiancé and I have a gay friend who lives next door. He’s super nice and helped us out with transportation issues. Now if he starts to make my fiancé feel some type of way I have to put him in his place because he(fiancé) also has a phobia about gay men trying to come off him the wrong way by offering rides, money, etc. Then I’ll have to handle it because he may think we’re friends because he’s trying to throw hints towards my fiancé.
To be honest I treat him (gay neighbor ) no different from any other man. So far our friendship has grown into a brotherhood. If you’re a woman and have a straight man in your life ladies you have to be careful with whom you’re dealing with outside your circle because you don’t know whose attracted to who these days.
Not being disrespectful nor discriminate against anyone but most of these gay men are no different from a woman who is attracted to your man! Stay alert!💯
You are clearly homophobic, Karen.
Here is a better question. Can you ask someone why they feel gay or bisexual? Is it a wrong question to ask?
It depends on your true intent and why you “feel” the need to ask. Wrong no, but a dumb question…yes.
No do not. Better to keep it shut down. Enough
@@manos5464 Ok, but…uh that’s really going to put a damper on friend’s relationship. Don’t you think?
In my experience no
Grow up. Don't be daft.
@@Globewanderer000 All ofthem break the touch barrier.
The answer is no