True Stories From Australian Towns: Kidnapped
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
- Put yo stories in the comments. I need them.
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G'day Jordan, maybe call it, "The Trump Challenge!".
Never even bothered with Cairns... Just like the council, state and federal governments...
Murdoch cares more about the reefs doorstep...
@@bogansrun real questions. who's squiggle on that Lang shirt??? and did your dad name your channel 😂
Wish I could be there. All the best to you Jordan from South Africa :)
Yo are you scared for NNN
As someone who was born and raised in Wagga Wagga, I've got my own story. I was in primary school sitting with my mates at recess one day when all of a sudden, kids started running towards the class rooms with teachers escorting them with incredible urgency. Once my mates and I were in the classroom I started to asked the other kids what was going on, I then learnt that a kangaroo had jumped the school fence and the principal was going to single handley fight it off. The principal was successful and was probably the only principal of our school that was actually respected by the students.
Thats a ripper comment. I mean if you arent judging your respect for a man by his ability to beat a kangaroo then your metric is broken.
Wagga is essentially an airbase with attatched amenities so supply it:bar , school
Jordan better get mislav to act as the kangaroo on this one
@@notrickxi1597 dont forget mcdonalds and the brothel both essential services for the kapooka boys lol
Wtf? I grew up there too. What school was this??
Used to deliver Pizzas for dominos, and we delivered pretty far out into the boonies. I delivered about 30 Pizzas to a family reunion out on a farm that was about 30 minutes drive away from our store, not including the time spent battling their dirt driveway in my shitty pulsar.
The family reunion in question was set up like a small bush doof, as in they had a fucking stage set up for karaoke.
So let me set the scene, I pull up, and my car is instantly swarmed by drunk, friendly farmers. They clear the car of Pizza in seconds. I'm sorting out the payment with the fella that ordered, while a drunk 12 year old kid is singing Flame Trees.
All of a sudden, I hear "Oi Pizza Man, skull this bundy and I'll give you 50 bucks".
I skulled 2 on the karaoke stage for a total of $100. The same kid was singing Thunderstruck at this point.
That's the story of how I invaded a family reunion by skulling 2 bundies next to a drunk 12 year old singing ACDC.
That's awesome
Free piss
Sounds more like an invite ahahaha
Better story than mine from when I delivered pizzas back in a small town in VIC when I was 19...
Delivered 6 pizzas to one house, a little old lady in a night gown answers and ushers me in. Went into the lounge room and was met with around 15 fellow female senior citizens all in nighties dancing. As I was being paid by the host of the party, I overheard one of the ladies say, "no way, not while he's here"
Needless to say, I got out of there quick!
Did you go back to work? Tell me you went back to work as if nothing had happened.
I got a story from my town, happened a couple years back. I work at the only Kmart in the general area and the shopping centre its in is conveniently directly across the road from the town's only police station. Guy comes into our place absolutely smashed in broad daylight, grabs as much Everlast clothing as he can, walks into the fitting rooms and stuffs the clothes under what he's wearing. Stumbles out the front door like nothing's happened, gets mad tired and passes out. Turns out he passed out directly in front of the police parking lot and was woken up by police and immediately charged with shoplifting and public intoxication.
Let me guess, orange? Used to work there and that’s pretty standard.
@@normak7041 Nah, Batemans Bay 😂
Batemans bay is the orange of the south coast
Not sure what's funnier the story or google asking me if I'd like to translate Batemans bay into English.🤣
@@xroadwalker Don't you mean Wreck Bay!! Hey my Brother's and Sister Girls!!
From Redfern to the South Coast ...
Ok so this one is from my Spanish grandpa.
Before coming to Australia, he worked as a paratrooper and truck driver for the Spanish military. While on leave in the Canary Islands, him and his mates where in the local markets. There was some alcohol involved, and someone decided to buy a monkey off one of the venders. They took it back to the airbase, and since My grandpa was probably the most sober among them he had to take care of it. He says the monkey used to growl at him and wouldn’t stop until he gave it a banana. the monkey became something of a mascot for the paratroopers, and a jumpsuit was made especially for him. I think you can probably see where this is going. They went up with the monkey for a training jump and threw the monkey out of the plane. The monkey started climbing up the rope of the parachute and tangled himself into a ball, falling to the ground. When they got back to base my grandpa was told to grab a shovel and burry the monkey. When he got there and lifted up the parachute the monkey was still alive. It apparently was so angry that it climbed up onto the roof of their sleeping quarters and would hurl decorative rocks at anyone who approached the building, only occasionally coming down to steal food from the canteen.
that monkey is a fucking legend, you got to get more details on this
fucking hell thats a good story
This is why I’m glad Australia has possums and koalas in the trees. If we had monkeys one would already premier of Queensland
fuuuuuuccckkk what a great story
@@Clyntonsshed You've clearly never encountered the Possums in the Brisbane City Botanical Gardens. They're like a marsupial version of Peaky Blinders.
I have to take some responsibility for the Lithgow panther.
I lived in a block of flats that backed onto a mountain. We were next door to the couple that took footage of the 'panther' in the early 2000s. A current affair sent someone to interview them and an 'animal expert'.
The expert identified scratch marks on the trees that could only be from an animal as large as a panther.
All the strange marks up there were from my friend and I regularly lightsaber duelling with sticks.
Omg I need to show my mum, haha. Grew up in yetholme
Legend
Haha good old lithgow panther
Nans gonna love this one
From our old property up in the mountains near Narrabri, My father could accurately say how far any intersection, bridge, causeway, other properties, even surrounding towns and villages were away. The only problem was, he measured in how many stubbies it took to drink. The only good thing to ever come out of his alcoholism.
i can already picture how jordies would act this out "yep, thats 13 after this left *gulps down beer* ahhh good shtuff"
Least insane kamilaroi father
So if you timed each stubb you actually have a reasonably accurate measurement.
@@toddcarter1148 correct. plus multiple DUI's as a bonus.
@@sinlatenightsins9657 Well that's gonna possibly add several hours to ya time.
When I was 18 I went on a hitchhiking trip from Sydney, down the south coast and across the Great Australian Bite to Perth, from which point I would fly to Malaysia and hitch across SE Asia. On my journey I took nothing but a large backpack and a guitar a friend had gifted me. This is a story from the midpoint of that trip.
I was on the road through Kimba. I had reached the half way point of my trip (as marked on a little sign outside a giftshop next to the famous Big Galah) and was waiting on the side of the road eating sausage rolls and making a game of insulting every car that drove past me as creatively as I could. Eventually a car going in the opposite direction did a U-turn and offered me a lift - A young woman who I'm going to call "Brittney" who said she had seen me, gone past me, felt guilty, and turned back. She was honestly delightful, and offered to take me quite far. After a few hours of talking and getting to know eachother, she offered me a stay in her young daughters bedroom overnight, as her and her father (Brittney's husband) were on a little trip in Melbourne together. We talked and talked for ages, going pretty far until we reached her home of Denial Bay, where she shouted me pizza and told all her friends over text she had picked up a "cool hitchhiker". That night we both went and hung out with her parents on the other side of town and we all played music together, drank, and talked until quite late. Brittney's father, a scruffy larrikin with two missing teeth, offered to let me do some laundry. Accepting graciously, we went to the laundry room together, when his tone suddenly dropped to a hush and he anxiously thrust a sandwich bag into my hands. "Here!" he whispered. I looked in my palm, and there lay an enormous bag of Marijuana worth at least 500 dollars. My jaw drops and I exclaim " I can't - " but he stopped me and said "It's fine, I've got 80 plants". I was later on also given some clothes including a warm jacket, and a good button up top.
I slept extremely well that night.
The following morning I found a cardboard sign on the side of the road which had been written on by another hitchhiker. It had a message on the back that said something along the lines of "if you find this, I hope this helps you get a ride as it did me". I used the sign to secure a ride with some french backpackers who took me as far as a tiny town no bigger than a truckstop, a pub and a few houses, where I purchased some rolling papers and a meat pie from a friendly woman who gave me some general directions to get me on the right track for Perth. I then left, and walked along the road for about five hours with no ride, every so often being flung through the air by a passing road train, while getting attacked by thousands of flies, when eventually it got dark and I took rest in a ditch a little into the bushes on the side of the road.
I didn't have a tent to sleep in - merely a bivvy and a tarp. A bivvy is sort of like a black body bag, and on dry nights I wouldn't bother with the tarp at all. This was one of those nights. Every hour or so I would wake to a road train blasting past at a mad speed, but would quickly fall back asleep. It wasn't until much later and a deeper rest that I woke to a flashlight in my face and a man yelling.
DO YOU HAVE A GUN?
Me: NO!
DO YOU HAVE ANY DRUGS?
Me: (Totally, yes, lots) NO!
As my eyes cleared, I was stood over by two police officers who upon realising my youth and confusion relaxed a little. The one who had been yelling sighed with relief and said "we've had reports of a corpse in a body bag left on the side of the road by two seperate witnesses. It's not safe for you to be here - you should come back into town with us where you can get a room at the tavern.
Trying to hide my relief, I threw my backpack and enormous but undetected bag of ganja into the back of their cruiser and got a ride back to the town I had walked from for hours earlier that day. The officers and I spoke a bit, and the conversation was genuinely nice, but I couldn't help feel a little agitated at the two law enforcers for erasing my days efforts out of concern for my safety. Arriving back at the truck stop I'd been at earlier, I set up on one of the benches out front, totally wired and awake, and played some guitar to the lonely night air. I didn't want to go to the pub and pay for a room as I was travelling on a budget, and Intended to just rest on the bench I had chosen. The pub across the road was filled with voices and laughter, and eventually a seemingly drunk man and woman strode out of its doors, arm-in-arm in my direction. Both laughing in a hysterical shamble. Both looking directly at me. I began to brace for a "dealing with drunk bogans" situation. As the pair became more visible, I became more aware of potential danger, as I realised the man of the two was taller than me, broader than me, bald, bearded and covered in tattoos - which was especially intimidating as I'm already 6'4 as it is. They got closer and he asked in a booming, slightly threatening voice "Mind if I play your guitar".
I fearfully replied with a "sure, man" not wanting to create conflict, and handed him my acoustic. To my absolute surprise, instead of smaching it over my head, the enourmous barbarian of a man started to play beautiful flamenco. I was stunned for a moment, my confusion only exaccerbated by the woman who was now holding both my hands in hers, looking into my eyes and smiling.
"Did you stay with Brittney last night?" she asked.
"Y-yes..?" i replied
"We're her partner's parents"
In shock, I realised I even recognised the woman - she had served me when I bought rolling papers and a meat pie earlier that day at the truckstop. She had given me directions. She must have spoken to Brittney and told her she had also encountered a hitchhiker, realised it was the same one, and recognised me when she saw me again.
"Would you like to stay at our place tonight?" her husband asked "we've got some wine and a bunch of musical instruments. Tomorrow we will help you secure a ride with a truck driver straight to Perth and you can be on your way."
I couldn't believe it. It was like magic or fate. We stayed up all night jamming, drinking, and telling stories. The next day I woke, and true to the couples word they tried to secure me a ride with a truck driver. This would not be my fate, as in the end another hitchhiker - my father, in fact - pulled up by total coincidence in a green Mercedes Benz across the road at the pub, greeted me and told me that the driver had agreed to drive him across the WA border the following day, and that I was welcome to join. My father and I then left my friends, found a paddock, set up a makeshift camp and spent the rest of the day and night smoking pot and telling eachother of our adventures so far. The following day was a saga in itself, but that, my children, is a story for another time.
If Jordan doesn’t cover this one I’m gonna cry
We must hear then end of this tale
That was quite the story, surely it features in the next video.
I fuckin love australia.
No TLDR, it was worth the read
was walking down the road with my mate in Geraldton and there was a landrover packed with a full family sitting in an empty housing lot. all of a sudden another landrover (with a full family aswell) screams around the corner and drives straight into the driver side door of the first one. every person gets out and starts bashing each other and the mothers were screeching some shit like 'kill him baz!'
my mate and I started running the other way and i remember not even feeling a little concerned and just moving on with our lives. Tuesday in Geraldton I spose
Nothing good ever comes from or lives in Geraldton
HAHAHAHAHAHA
god the image is so good, both typical aussie families of four immediately jump out of their cars and match up, the two dads punching on, the two mums fighting it out and the two same aged sons and daughters go straight to each other and immediately and instinctively just brawl.
@reecadilla Rangeway or Spalding?
@@KillianHarlocke could be beachlands by this descript 💀
Grew up in Cairns and had just got out of high school. For Schoolies instead of going south to the Gold Coast, you go camping up North. A few friends and I traveled together and were in our Mate's mum's land cruiser. We go up through the Gillies range to a lake where the schoolies were being held. Mate had just gotten his P's and hadn't driven off-road before. He takes a corner too fast, fishtails, and then overcorrects. We roll three times down a hill before getting stopped by a tree. No seatbelts, No injuries. Not kidding, we're just getting out bearings when the military drifts out of the trees to help us out. They were doing some kind of orienteering exercise, I don't really know. They feed us rations, before telling our mate to lie to the ranger that we swerved to miss a Cassowary to try and catch the insurance. Ranger doesn't buy it at all. We get picked by other friends, and driven to the campsite where we found a classmate naked drugged out of his mind hanging out of his tent. We woke him up, he cooked us breakfast over the fire and we then continued schoolies where I had to sleep in a dog cage because my tent had been fucked in the accident. The friend who was driving got the cold shoulder from his mum, she couldn't even look at him. She just looked at what was left of her LandCruiser.
I was told stories from QLD army guys that the only thing they wouldnt fck with is a cassowary. As its protected stumbling into one means back away or run away. My old Training WO1 always told the story of a dumb tourist who got out of their car to take pictures of the angry bird. They will have large scars for the rest of their life.
@@sirjolly81i’ve had a baby cassowary and its father start chasing me down a beach twice. they’re fuckin annoying birds
This happened many, many years ago. My grandfather and father went out to blow up some rabbit burrows and tree stumps. After a while they had one more stump to blow up but probably 4-5 times the amount of explosives they needed.
So, being typical farmers, they packed it ALL under the stump.
They retreated a good 500m away and detonated it.
Apparently large bits of stump and stone were flying over their heads and travelling a couple of hundred metres further.
To this day you can drive a ute into the crater, get out, walk out of the crater, turn around and you can't see the roof of the ute.
Grew up in wello nsw, in 2009 our neighbour who was obviously growing weed and had a meth lab set up in the hills behind his house which was next to our property, one day my mum was at the kitchen sink looking out at the hills when there was a massive explosion and a mini mushroom cloud appeared up the hill, the neighbour then drove his ute up to our house which had a half crushed cab and smashed windows, he collapsed on our lawn bleeding from his ears very politely asked mum for a glass of water and to not call the cops as he was “umm blasting for gold” and to not worry, he would keep the noise down next time he blasted for “opals…oh i mean gold, it definitely wasnt drugs or anything ay”
Wello and Dubbo, God’s Country.
More ice than mice, and that’s even with the plague.
Bit of context for this one. I grew up in a small town west of Ipswich QLD, it was essentially a straight road with couple houses, couple big blocks/farms and a tavern. When I was a kid it used to be run by someone who would just seemingly let people get smashed and drive off because we'd have a crash outside our house every second month. It was a regular occurrence due to a corner that sneaks up on you a bit and that frequent crash site is outside our house. The most memorable one was probably when I was about 10. I can remember we were watching the first Pirates of the Carribbean movie and eating dinner on a Friday or Saturday night when there was another loud crash out the front. I can just remember my dad saying 'fuck sake' before getting up from the table to go check it out. Old mate had come off the road flipped the car upside down and made contact with a powerpole. Through nothing short of a miracle old mate had survived, drunk like nothing else and off his head on fuck knows what. I can't quite recall how much time passed but I was watching from the verandah of our Queenslander while dad and our neighbour tried to keep the bloke still while the ambos turned up. To cut this story a bit short, old mate ended up biting our neighbour on the back of the head and tried to attack the paramedics. Dad had to punch him in the jaw to get old mate to chill out, which the paramedics are quoted as saying: Thanks mate.
Hope this one's not too long, did not proof read for spelling and grammar.
Good one, thanks mate
Your Dad sounds like a legend
That's a fucking awesome story mate... Hats off to your dad
god please let this get in
Too long a story for an "outer Ipswichian", and far too good grammar
Back when I was a kid in the 90s in my regional town. I was unpopular in primary school because I cried a lot, therefore the only reasonable conclusion to be drawn was I must be gay.
During the yearly Christmas pageant my town held, some kids that didn't like me tricked me into following them down the heritage path behind the town that had some historical wells.
I was then ambushed by a gang of kids and teenagers. Who said "time to lynch the f****t".
I thought lynching meant to beat me up, I was 12.
So I ran away and didn't think much of it.
Fast forward to high school and a teacher who I got along with told me about a similar experience he had about attempted lynching.
That's when I found out I almost died.
I'm not fussed now, I know at least 3 of the guys who were involved are in prison now for armed robbery.
#smalltownmemories
This kinda reminds me of my mum's partner getting drunk and bragging about him and his mates beating up a gay guy one night after the pub shut. Apparently they ripped pickets off a fence and let him have it. Poor guy ended up in hospital. Regional Victoria, probably early 80's based on his age.
It does sound like you are getting the best revenge by living a better life 😉
@@becboop2182 fag bashing was fairly common
this was told too casually
@@baldmark_yt nah, shit happens lmao
A story from Euroa, passed down to me by my father. Whilst drunk, but that's a given
Anyway, there was this old bloke who lived at the Euroa Hotel, and one night he passed away in his sleep. Rather unfortunate but the main issue is that he died with the electric blanket on.
To my understanding, nobody knew he died until several days later when his slow-cooked juices began to drip through the ceiling onto the people in the pub bellow
This is one of the worst things I've ever read
thank you bloodborn duck, very cool
Ewwwwwww
@@connorvanhelsing4768
Same thing happened to the old fella in the unit below mine. No one had seen Rob for a few weeks and assumed he had moved back with his family. Then the smell started, and over the next four weeks it just got worse. We would get a brief whiff every now and then. But no one knew where it was coming from. Finally, it suddenly went from an occasional odd smell to an overpowering stench. There is nothing like it. I was the unlucky sod who walked into it first at 3am in the morning when I got home from work. Everyone thought it was a dead animal in the drain at the bottom of the stairwell. We called the owner to check it out, and when Rob didn't answer his door, they contacted a family member who came around and got in with a spare key. Even after they cleaned Robs unit you could smell it as soon as you were within a block of the place. And it hung around the stairwell for over a year. I learned later that Rob had cancer and passed away in his sleep.
My Dad has a similar story. When he was about 15, he broke his leg doing something stupid. So, he was laid up on a bed on the back veranda for a couple of weeks. He noticed after a while that he could see what looked like someone asleep on the veranda of a nearby house. It hadn't moved after a couple of days, so he assumed it was just a pile of blankets. He started to smell something dead after a week and then saw some people on the veranda looking at the pile of blankets. He found out later he been staring at a dead body for all that time. The guy had shot himself a few days before Dad broke his leg. The neighbours thought they heard a tyre blow a few weeks earlier.
It's amazing to me that someone can be dead for weeks or even years and no one knows. No one checks on you. Even if you disappear and don't pay any bills or go to work for months. It's the sad reality of living alone for some of us.
Reminds me of working in a fancy corporate hotel in Adelaide around 2001. And yes Adelaide IS a country town.
I checked in a bloke about 6pm Friday night. He had flown in from the gold coast to see his daughter, he said. He was keen to go and enjoy the executive spa suite he had booked as he'd had a long day.
Nothing at all remarkable about this story at all... But Adelaide is a boring place and you don't expect much.
Monday morning I get a call around 11am. It's my supervisor asking if I checked a bloke in to the spa room Friday night?
Yes... Why?
Anything unusual about him?
No...why
Well he didn't check out as expected this morning and he's been in the spa all weekend.
I know they had to close the suite for a month and replace the spa.
Anyway... Nice yarning with you.
Gotta go get my dinner.
Soup.
Mmmm
I used to work for a disability provider many years ago and a similar story happened in a far north W.A country town where I was stationed for a couple months.
We had this one client, forget his name, but he was a big bloke, big stomach, thick beard, thick Aussie accent, intellectually slow, but a genuinely nice guy. He was about 50.
As this workplace there was some client housing, and lots of ramps to account for wheelchairs and electric scooters. The main building was the admin building with the leadership team, HR, finance, strategy and risk, and your usual medical workers - occupational therapists, some psychologists, and several volunteers. All very formal. All the workers were very well-groomed, impeccable clothes, etc.
The housed clients would frequently just wander over into the admin building, super casual, to say hi. While it was nice, it was also - on occasion - really annoying, lol, because you'd be at your computer, have a deadline, and the clients would just walk in and... distract you.
One day, Beardy vrooms in on his scooter. He'd been watching something on TV pertaining to Jack Brabham, the race car driver, and so he introduced himself by saying, "Beep, beep, motherfucker!" Then zoomed off. He proceeded to drive up a large 25 meter ramp (wooden and smooth) out of the building, and for some reason tried to turn which naturally tipped the whole thing over.
He slid from top to bottom very slowly, complete with squeaky sound like a windshield wiper on a dry window. Like the gentleman in the video, he shat himself when he hit the floor, so there was a long smear of shit from the top, all the way to the bottom. The occupational therapists understandably freaked out and went to clear the mess.
However, the reason they were freaked out was twofold.
Like any business, this disability provider did the occasional fire drill.
And while doing these drills is obviously important, they can be done to detriment of the... clientele.
On previous occasions, half the housed clients (those with severe intellectual difficulties) were triggered and traumatised. Some even tried to escape... while everyone else was evacuating.
However, on this one occasion, while the O.C's are cleaning up Beardy's smeared shit, the drill starts. The O.C's didn't have time to alert strategy and risk.
So naturally, 70 staff members start evacuating in an orderly fashion but they can't because there's a 25 meter smear of shit keeping them inside.
But that doesn't stop the triggered clientele who just bolted up the ramp. One fellow, called Jonathon, heavily autistic, slips, lands in the poo, then proceeds to just lay there, writhing to the sound of the fire alarm.
It was without a doubt the weirdest fucking thing I have ever seen.
Pretty recent story actually.
3 months ago wife and I moved to Mt.Isa (Yes for the mines typical Aussie).
Our house isn't even unpacked yet, we're sleeping on a mattress on the floor surrounded by boxes. 1 week into living here, wife and I were in the shower and a few young, let's say rapscallians, decided to pop in for a visit. They took our wallets and the wifes phone as well as a little card holder with all my wifes work credential. I luckily heard them as they were leaving so in a spare of the moment rage. I grabbed the closest kitchen knife and my still dripping, buck ass nude self ran down the street scream profanities at them much to the confusion and entertainment of our new neighbours. Needless to say it was an interesting story to report to the police when they showed up and asked some of said neighbours to testify as witnesses 😂
Got our things back, wifes phone was shattered though from where they threw it in fear. Naked lunatic brandishing a knife will do that to ya. And I'm now known by the police that showed up, and later the detectives that took prints, as the nudey looney.
Great start in a new town 👌
While attending a high school near Coffs Harbour in my youth, a bloke I knew got called into the front room of the deputies office after the deputy was tipped off he was in possession of marijuana. He gets into the office and the deputy is threatening to call the cops to have him searched, the phone in his office rings and the deputy steps into the rear room to answer it. This bloke jumps up, pulls out the ounce he has stashed in his jocks (it was obvious as fuck with him wearing footy shorts) and hides it behind some books in the nearby bookshelf. Not long later the deputy comes back out, calls the coppers, he gets searched, nothing found etc he gets let go. Not content with getting out of the situation, later that afternoon he sneaks back into the deputies office while he was on a phone call and recovers the goods the mad bastard!
smashed up my car threw the bag under the seat went to the tow yard the next day and recovered the bag
Story: Went out to Rural Western Victoria to help out with conservation efforts with the Eastern Barred Bandicoot, and Brush Tailed Rock Wallaby. Stoped at the local pub to get some Smiths, when a 9 year old child walks in with the same mullet as your wig. His dad orders a beer and puts it on the table, the child then proceeds to skull the beer and when hes done asks dad “is this carton drought it sucked. His dad replied “No it’s Ted” the child then said “Dad don’t give me any off that poof piss again”. Legend
Hehe in my very small town growing up, a crocodile came out of one of the nearby rivers and was just walking down a walking track (which was next to the river) . Some tourists were also walking down that walking track and walked pretty much straight into the jaws of a 5m saltwater crocodile. One climbed a tree and the other two screamed and ran into town with the croc following them until it got bored and went back into the river. That was the talk of the town for a while ;P
Hahahahahaha😂😂😂😂😂😂 That is both equally awesome and epic
You know what I love most about this? It's the two bots-one who wants to make profitable investments based around bored crocodiles, and the other who has apparently made a video about the event.
Fuck, that's enough internet for today.
Aww, the bots got deleted.
Great yarn brother!!
Sad part is, l missed the bots ffs!!!
Y! I came!
In year 8, a mate of mine started going to school in the country. I went to stay at his farm for a long weekend along with 2 other boys. I think it was the first day, his dad, who grew up in that area, decided it would be a good idea to give four 13 - 14 year old boys a flame thrower, to do some (burning off). Only my mate was allowed to use it his dad followed along and showed us how to burn clumps of marsh grass that can build up in boggy paddocks. Amazingly after a couple of clumps he walked away and left us alone unsupervised with a flamethrower.
We then watched my mate melt a dead fox for a few minutes. Then he mentioned that some largish trees on the edge of the paddock were actually weeds. So we burnt clumps of marsh grass over to the trees.
My mate with the flamethrower was eyeing them off. Another boy from the country confirmed they were weeds. I don't know what they were but they were extremely flammable.
What started off as a small flame at the base of one of them quickly grew. We legged it back to the house and watched on in fear hoping it would fizzle out and go away. However the flames spread to the whole stand of these "weed" trees and became enormous reaching about 6 or 7 stories high.
One of the boys pointed out that on the other side of the paddock was state forest. His dad came out yelling and we all followed him towards the flames. I remember helplessly lifting up a bucket full of dam water and getting stuck on a fence, to weak to lift it, his dad looking at me, face going purple snatching it out of my hands swearing and sloshing it on the grass which was now on fire and heading towards the state forest.
It was quite a boggy paddock but the grass must have lit up from the radiant heat of the weeds / trees. We all had to take our T-shirts off and beat it out while his dad bucketed water about the place. I remember one of the boys complaining saying he didn't know if his T-shirt was flammable, after some swearing from my mates dad he used it to beat out the grass and it caught fire, lol.
The grass fire got about 5 or 6 meters away from the forest which would have gone up like tinder, we managed to put it out and didn't really cop any consequence.
However I was more scarred by the fact that afterwards they made us all bath naked together and 2 of the other boys ridiculed my lack of development, another boy refused to bath, which I should have done, looking back on it is fucking weird.
Keep up the good work, cheerio.
I'm from a tiny place with only 100 people. In the 80's my Dad got his drivers licence for driving the instructor to the football. Later when he was driving a semi trailer to the silos the local cop asked if he had a licence, when he said no he took him to the cop shop and just gave him one.
Hahaha Reminds me of how I got my P plates. Turned up for my test at 1445, got told to drive by the local primary school to check the school run. Drive by and everything good. Then told me to drive straight back to the police station as it was smoko time! Got my P plates first time 😂
Exact same thing happened to my grandfather lol, man drove roadtrains into Alice Springs for nearly a decade before anyone asked if he had a truck licence
I think that's how my mum got her truck license actually
@@wittoist can't do that anymore lol
A similar thing happened to a mate of my grandfathers. He was 14 at the time and would drive his fathers truck to deliver firewood to places . Got pulled over and asked if he had his license then the cop wrote one up for him then and there lol.
A story from the township of Churchill. Where some towns have cryptids, Churchill has the 'chicken man'. A man known to have escaped from somewhere or other, this individual gets around town without shoes, sneaks into backyards, and brutally slaughters chickens. Though some claim these killings to be that of a fox, the Churchill Chicken Man distinguishes himself from other predators, dismembering the chickens themselves, burying the corpses, and leaving the bones of the animals on the homeowners windowsill. This man kills literally in broad daylight and when asked residents of the town usually reply with something like 'oh yeah I see him around' with legitimately no concern whatsoever. One man famously quoted 'he's harmless really' having of course watched from his living room as this man slaughtered his chickens. Just small town stuff really.
Don’t know if this counts but I spent two months at Mount Cotton in a farmhouse when I was 4. Since there wasn’t much to do there as it wasn’t my home, I went for a walk down to the creek about half a kilometre down the driveway. I got to the creek and pretended that it was back when dinosaurs were around and skulked through the brush. Only to come face to face with a cassowary staring at me. I immediately thought “It’s a real dinosaur” and stood watching it for around a minute. The cassowary began to walk off and I walked back to the farmhouse. The following day the house owner’s eldest son (about 17-18) went missing, and we moved out the following day. I never heard anything else about that place since
I remember a story my mum once told me. She grew up on a farm in a place called Banda. The closest school was in a town called nimmitabel and they had a bus that would go a pick up all the farm kids. She would go into express detail about how the driver would chain smoke the whole way through the trip which was like an hour long and forbade the kids from opening the windows. After he would drop them off, he went straight to the pub and get on the piss and would get back on the bus to pick up when school was over. She then stated that the driver didn’t even own a licence, but used his wives. Mind you this was back in the 70’s, but still a funny and memorable story
Out some 40kms in some direction from Whyalla, back in 2014, mates all bought matching shitboxes for 300 bucks each (I painted mine like the General Lee). We were sending them around the dirt "roads" in the middle of nowhere, basically playing full size mix of rally and bumpercars. Came to a blind corner that was perfectly banked enough to trick you into taking it just a little too fast. I was first and as I entered it at 90, there was a brand new landcruiser coming the other way full speed. The quickest neuron in my brain said "You can't afford to fix that if you hit it" so to the horror of my passenger, I turned off the edge of the corner like it was a bike jump. We left the ground and landed on top of some small trees and bushes before rolling our way back to the road to behind the other car. Turns out that they were state rescue that got lost following some tip on a missing person. He'd been doing $1.20 himself and after I assured him that I could still drive home with the branches sticking into the bottom of the engine he let me know there was another car following him. Right as he said this, they came flying around the corner and slid right off the road as they did. We all had a good chuckle. Despite the sticks, my car was the only one that didn't catch fire that weekend.
my dad works as a cop, and he would be sent to small towns to do policing and he has stories of the towns he has been to. one town he went to was known for kids stealing cars, so my dad arrives in this town and the first thing he sees is a French tourist running after his camper van which some kids just stole (they got away). on the same trip my dad was driving in his cop car early in the morning when a kid in a stolen car drives to crash into him, so he serves off into the sidewalk. In both stories the kids drove off and dumped the cars in the bush. The best thing is they know who keeps stealing the cars cause the kids rat out each other but the police can’t do anything cause their lazy or something idk. In another town near the border of WA and northern territory my dad was sent to, a mute kid disappeared in the middle of the night while he was working there. The police in the town went to search for him and an emergency message was sent to all the people in the town to see if they knew where he was. The brother of the mute kid who was a "tracker" tried to track his brother, so my dad followed him while he did his tracking. They found some footprints near a creak which they believed were the missing kids footprints (the kid was always bare foot), so they followed them but turns out they were the footprints of some drunk guy who was trying to help look for this kid and while doing so he lost his boots in the mud, later that night the kid just reappeared in the town.
This reads like a chris Simpson's artist story.
This has gotta be Alice
A few 100km to the WA. Order from the Alice, more like Boorooloola….
Wagin High School, 80's, the chant 'fight, fight, fight' was rolling across the quadrangle and as I went to look, it was just like a cartoon fight where two combatants were rolling around in a vortex with the odd leg, arm and head protruding occasionally. It was Peter Matera (pre-WestCoast Eagles) and Heath Ellis going for it, the two toughest boys in their classes. A nerdy teacher with coke bottle glasses stopped and looked and did nothing. Then the manual arts teacher rocked up, looked at the nerdy teacher with disgust, demanding why he wasn't breaking it up and then ran in to break it up, successfully. I still picture it in my head like a cartoon vortex fight...and it makes me laugh every time!
Lived in Dalby. One day in high school this troubled kid who had been expelled like a week or so ago, snuck into the school. He then went to one of the classrooms where one of the teachers he hated was teaching. He smashed is fist through the glass trying to get at her and then he just left, leaving a trail of blood out of the school. Most morbid version of follow the yellow brick road in the afternoon break. Goodnight Jordan
god, this is damn incredible lmao. the moment you hear “i live in bathurst” you know you’re in for a ride
Every time lol
Damn right there. I live in West Bathurst, and one night as I'm going for my usual walk after dinner when I also listen to a podcast I hear an angry voice call out of nowhere. I take one earphone out and look around but it's dark and can't see anything so I keep walking. Next minute I hear this car revving and high beams coming up on the road behind me.
The car then turns as if to drive off the road and run me down and the angry voice returns as this stranger yell out of his window "you cunt!", "fuck you!" explaining why I've wronged him. I keep walking and ignore him, my heart pounding in my ears I was so scared. I then hear the stranger say "do that again and I'll shoot you!" before he then speeds up the street and around the corner never to be seen again.
Never felt so intimidated that night, thought I was gonna die.
When I was younger used to be shipped to rural victoria to stay with my step dad for weeks at a time, he lived in his business a recycling plant. The office was built around a caravan and had no floor.
Their was no running water and showers only had happened once a week at a truck stop or one of his "roots" places.
Many great memories growing up there, lots of drinking and living off a bbq.
Grew up in several country towns but spent most of my primary school years in Appin. In a run down corner block building on the main street there dwelled an elderly woman known as "Joyce." Her voice was Aunt Shelly if she ate sandpaper and would always wear a filthy light blue bed robe that was way too small and left fuck all to the imagination on account of it being the only thing she had on...at best. Her birds nest of mangy unkempt long white hair was matched and then some by the proverbial carpet which was often flashed at any given passer-by. Once when riding my bike home from school she gave chase throwing empty VB bottles at me on account of having "looked at her." The last I ever saw of her she was standing on a traffic island 3 houses away from where I lived. She was laying into some road signs with a metal pole like Bradman on bath salts. As another kid from my year was riding past she stops and screams at him "RIDE YA BIKE, SPIKE!" and then starts vandalizing some more signs with her trusty pole. Eventually a police car arrives where she is taken away whilst yelling gibberish.
Thanks for bringing back a memory that my brain had buried deep hoping to never be discovered again haha.
I grew in Rosemeadow and every time we would drive or catch the beach bus down to Wollongong you'd see her hanging that building and then out of nowhere you catch a sight of that bush. At first I was disgusted, then every time we'd drive past and she wasn't there, I'd be curious where she was and if she wears clothes ever.
Thank you for bringing this series back jordies
Razorback, mid 80's. When my Mrs was a kid, her and a friend found a couple of boxes of expired sweaty gelignite in pops old chook shed. Played with it for a while but then her dad busted them and told them not to play with it cause "If it goes, it'll ruin your whole day". Her dad ended up getting the bomb squad in and the whole fam got to watch them blow it up.
Port Pirie circa 1997:
One night my mum and step dad stick us kids in the car - rusty VC commodore with cracked leather seats-
We drive out to some paddock and see a bunch of their friends and their cars. Its about midnight.
All of the adults go in to the field.
Shortly after a cop car pulls up, cops get out and go in to the field.
About an hour later everyone comes back with plastic bags full of mushrooms, including the cops.
Mum gets in the car, hands us the bag of mushrooms and tells us not to touch them or eat them, theyre poisonous.
Skip to about 5 months ago talking about magic mushrooms, mums best mate asks if i remember the night mum took us all mushrooming.
some kid (year 7 or 8) was smoking cones up in the state park in the hills, dropped his lighter and set the whole thing on fire. police caught him pretty easily because he filmed most of it and put it on his instagram story. also heard that him and his girlfriend ran away and lived in the bush for a couple of days.
This wasn't in Cootamundra by any chance ahaha?
@@benwright1847 where else would it be
@@noodleooddle7318 take the piss
Here's a story for you Jordie, I was once driving through a small town just past the Perth hills and saw a pair of legs sticking out of a piece of carpet that was laying on the side of the road in the rain near a school, slightly disturbed by this I pulled over just up the road and called the local police station, after describing the situation the office asked me if the person under the carpet looked like a heavy set older blonde woman, after I responded with "could have been" the officer replied with "that sounds like Tina whatever you do don't let her in you car or she'll piss all over it", apparently she's notorious for doing that whenever she gets the chance.
One time some kids from the local primary school broke (well more like walked into) the highschool during the weekend. Some teachers kid who was there to use the school gym caught them and called his mum who called the police. There were some shattered windows and similar shit, but the worse part was year 12 had forgotten to lock the common room on Friday so they went in and ate my tub of CONNOISSEUR ice cream. Fucking gronks.
Alright, so dont know if this is crazy enough but this is one of mine.
Back when I lived at Wyee NSW i lived on a street with a Junkie house.
Anyway, one of the guys in the house brought his kid a little mini dirtbike for christmas. So roll around January and this bloke used it more than his kids. He was also a pillar of "she'll be right" saftey gear thongs, boardshorts and sunnies.
So roll around near end of January and this L Plater (poor kid) is learning how to drive in the street. As he is doing his very slow drive round the guy on the kids mini bike comes flying full speed around the corner and slams into the bonnet smashing his head on the glass and slumps off the bonnet.
The mum of this kid hops out to rush and check on the bloke but by this stage hes stood up blood gushing picked up the bike and is screaming "im fking all good aye dont worry bout it" and as he walks zigzagged back to the his house leaving a trail of blood along the road.
It gets better, so the cops came of course to arrest/question him. His misses was caught trying to wash up the blood across the road with those shitty blue multipurpose wipes and screaming at everyone to go home and not to worry about the "cnt" driving the car. She also said he didnt live there anymore. Till they heard him groaning in the back room and found him slumped in the shower. He kept saying he fell of the bed.. but his thong 5m away from the car and the 50mm chunk of flesh imbeded in the trim of the front window frame matched his hair colour. So needless to say he didnt trick those "pigs".
Ah.. i dont miss that street.
In the third year of secondary school the big cheese forgot to tell my class about a fire drill. My calss was in the showers as it went off. We ran out in towels. In December. In over a foot of snow. Had to stand around for over 5 minutes before they let us go back inside. Norway is very cold in December.
I lived in Yuendumu which is a town on the boarders of Warlpiri and Arrernte country in the Northern Territory for about 4 months; this was just before I was going to resume my University degree back in Melbourne, I gotta say it was honestly one of the best times and experiences I have ever lived, and I could've stayed too. It was a town of about a 800 or so people, most were Warlpiri speakers. There was never a dull moment there despite being about 3 1/2 hours away from Alice Springs, my association is that I had family who have been living and working there since 1973. Being a white fella, there was no motive to be Barbie Saviour or whatever other dreadlocked hippie does for their mystic experience volunteering in the art center or something, I just needed something to do during the months before uni started.
There are plenty of stories that I could share, but one that almost got me into shit creek happened while I was asked to house sit. Many of the council workers and whitefella around the town caught wind that I was volunteering for the local shop where my cousin's husband managed, and asked me to sit their houses as they went on 3-4 day errands/council work to Alice Springs, Lajamanu, or Nyirripi. Anyway in this particular house, I had to look after a garden and two cats, one of which was a kitten, for one of the older council workers who had to go to Alice Springs to do her big supply run. Anyway the housesitting was a breeze and a bit of a holiday from living in the poorly maintained house that I was staying in, the houses that I usually sit are much like suburban housing with air con and all that, so that was payment enough to plant my arse in there for a few days. Anyway the kitten was pretty demanding for attention and play, while the other cat just came and went (probably to eat the native birds and marsupials around the place no doubt). Anyway the last night before the lady came back on her supply run, I went out to water the garden in the evening as agreed (watering in the high sun is dangerous.) That last night, I almost forgot to do so as I was watching the television, so I rushed outside to water and I stupidity left the bloody garden diamond flyscreen door ajar (you know that awful rattling sound those things make.) And I glimpsed the bloody kitten running out into the garden somewhere, amongst these water hungry plants this woman wanted to have in the Tanami desert. I was in a panic. kicking red dust around town looking for the kitten, looking around where the Argentinian dog lady lived, some of the locals houses, which pretty much had at least 3 town dogs and a relative sleeping out front. Anyway, the sense of relief came when a young girl in the neighboring property found the cat who ran into their house and had him in her hands, I was so grateful for that, I shared food with her every time I saw her from then on. Didn't tell the council worker a thing the next morning, I didn't want to ruin my reputation as being a reliable house sitter.
That's the most interesting story that a cat ran away and you found it?
Nah, it isn't, probably one of the most boring stories coming to think of it. I think the situation and the setting makes it more interesting, but I suppose it doesn't really take the cake.
I grew up in Yeppoon, QLD and thought it was the most bogan place imaginable, I was wrong. During the school holidays (at some point in 2004), we traveled out to Dalby to visit my aunt, uncle, and my cousins (who were home from boarding school), and as one of my cousins had just gotten her red P’s, they she took us to the KFC drive through (which was an absolute treat for my brother and I as the Red Rooster and KFC in Yeppoon didn’t have a drive through, and both were the only fast food places in Yeppoon) and in front of us was this absolute monster of a woman (I wouldn’t be shocked if she was pushing 400kg) was on her mobility scooter, in the drive through shoving an entire zinger burger into her mouth in one bite. I thought that was going to be the traumatising part, but no, a few minutes later we see her waddle off her scooter and squat in the middle of the road and TAKE A SHIT!
I was more surprised that she could squat without breaking a leg more than her actually shitting in the middle of the road!
So yeah, I witnessed that at 8 years old! 😂
yeppoon rocks delete your comment
theyre going to hate us yeppoonites
Ah the ‘Poon ….. never change 😂
Not sure if Townsville counts as rural, but I was setting up for a gig at a pub last weekend and some bloke got glassed before we even started playing, which is a classic Townsville moment.
Didn't see the fight start as it was out in the smoking section, but became aware of the incident when the security guard ducked her head in yelling for an ambulance. Went outside to see most of the patrons driving off a shirtless, screaming meth head while another fella in a Lakers singlet clutched his shoulder that was pissing blood.
Security brought the injured bloke in, convinced him to sit still even though he was doing the old "nah mate im good" drunk man routine as he walked a trail of blood into the pub.
Cops took about half an hour arriving, then left after about 10 minutes when the guy had been bandaged and gave a statement. Someone put Stayin' Alive on the jukebox and old mate started dancing along to "his song". Ambos came after another half hour or so and took him away.
The pub staff put the blacklights on as they cleaned the blood trail to make sure they got it all. Spent the rest of the night spotting jizz stains on the clothes of everyone who sat under the blacklights.
My family and I moved to Wagga from Wollongong. After signing the lease on our new house, we found out we had actually moved into one of the worst parts of Wagga, Tolland. It took a few days to move all our stuff in but eventually got settled. Less than 2 days after finally getting settled in the house we were awakened at like 6:30 in the morning by VERY loud banging at our front door. I opened the door only to be confronted by 2 cops from Wagga station with their tasers drawn and pointing at my face!! After almost shitting myself the cops told me there was a complaint of screaming and yelling coming from my house. I told the cops someone was taking the piss and that we were all asleep after the few days of moving in. After realising their mistake, the cops turned around and started to leave but this one cop turned around and says to me “welcome to Tolland”.. that’s when we realised moving to Wagga was a bad, bad idea!! 😂
This is one of the most ' Tolland ' things I've ever read 😂 please tell me you were in Raye St 😂
@@TheJarrad92 I was… 😂😂😂
The story on how I ran over my mum: My story is when I was 16 I was going for my leaners permit the next day, mum had parked to close to the garage door (we had one of them garage doors that flipped up as a solid bit of MDF wood) and I jumped at the idea of reversing the car (wanted to get a head start on learning how to drive). Grab the keys and ran to the car. Mum was repeatedly saying stop! I got into the the driver side and put the keys into the ignition, mum opens the driver side door and told me to stop. So listening to mum she tells me everything to turn the car on safely. I made sure the clutch was engaged and in Neutral I then turned the car on, at this point being 16 I thought I know everything and started to rev the shit out of the engine. Mum going off her head tells me to stop it now and tells me how a car is a weapon not a toy (Fair) So here I am in the drivers seat, mum standing between the door and me engine still running and my foot on the clutch, I have told mum that "its ok I know what I have to do it cant be that hard" I have put it into reverse and then I have blacked out, I can only assume I found the pick up point first go cause I have woken up to find a ding in the steering wheel, the CD Player hanging out of place I thought "shit dad is going to kill me" I have then looked in the mirror to see that I have reversed into a huge gum tree. "OH SHIT" I then looked down and saw my mother laying face down in the garden, at this moment I thought I had killed my mother and thought fuck dad is definitely going to kill me. I gotten taken next door away from the carnage crying my eyes out thinking my mum is dead. The Police have come over and asked how I am and I have sworn so much I would of made a bricky shocked. The next cop sat down very gingerly and attempt to get a statement and tell me everything is ok. Mum and I got taken to hospital to get checked out, I got away with nothing. Mum however ended up with 18 stapes to her head. The cops asked for her version of the story and then offered to lay charges against me (she said no) I went to school the next day and mum went for a job interview and got the job! The best bit about this story is the morning of the incident my brother and I were being little shit to mum, she has called up dad and said "not sure which one I'm going to kill, but I am going to kill one of them" that was the last time she spoke to dad all day! Dad has come home to find 2 cop cars, 1 ambulance and a fire truck on our property.
6 -8 stories in and this one made me laugh.
Jordo, if this one doesn't make it into the next one, you're a lazy cunt (fair tho).
used to live out near Gosford and all the kids were scared of a bloke called TJ Mullet and his crew. Me and my mates found a dead wombat on the road one day but TJ drove past just when we started to take it home. he was pissed and ended up setting his dog Ripper on us. my mate Snakey had to go to hospital and get a finger amputated. dunno why TJ wanted the dead wombat
dog food.... lots of nutters feed road kill to there dogs
grew up around lismore and got grabbed and subsequently screamed at in the lismore mcdonalds to " stay in school or you'll end up like me " the guy didnt even look homeless so i don't know what personal circumstances he wanted me to avoid...
Once I was in Condoblin because my mum was a doctor and was working at the aboriginal centre. All we did was sit in the house and play xbox as kangaroos died of heatstroke outside.
Then my Dad said 'go to the post office and send this letter.' So I went with my sister down the main street to the post office. There were eshays (or some sort of odd creatures) sitting on the steps of the town hall drinking alcohol that they lazily hid in slurpee cups. They heckled me and my 10 year old sister so I gave them a half wave. Then I saw a suited man (presumably the mayor) walk past eshays drinking spirits on the steps and give them a hi five. We came back after having sent the letter, but I made sure to be on the other side of the street. The ehsays saw me and chased us across the street into coles. I was very scared, but we managed to slip away from our hiding place in the freezer isle because our persuaers were too busy stealing two minute noodles.
Yeahhhh sounds like condo
My man and his mates stuffed a wetsuit so it looked like a person and then threw it off the top of Maroondah dam while families were picnicking below. Apparently there were many screams from those who thought it was a jumper.
Armidale has its own subsection of crazy people; there's one guy whose always seen walking in the same clothes walking like a zombie mumbling to himself (I've never seen him talk to someone), another guy who rides in a wheelchair believes he's the brother of the king of New Zealand (one day he'll return to take the throne, I hope whilst riding on a blowup raft.)
Finally there was a man who my friends and I would go over to his house to smoke weed (whilst wagging school by sliding through the fence), he told us that in [his teen years] he didn't talk to anyone making him most certainly a mute. It eventually became clear that he was schizophrenic as we once came by, door unlocked and his property completely distributed, leading to the police coming by the house while we're still there and we explain that we had come by to see him and found the place destroyed; he later told us that he had done the destruction due to him not being able to get his medicine [Weed]. He had no job and lived in that property under a welfare service, it additionally came to light that he was a pedophile as he would kiss us on the cheek when we left (I only let my mum kiss my cheeks.) I have no idea where is; last I saw him I was outside Vinnie's and he was across the street, I bizarrely shouted "oh O Loser Alert!" He looked at me with an aggressive face and I got outta there.
Oh there's also a giant that walks with objects that could be weapons and shout randomly at nothing(he's allegedly murdered and decapitated someone in there backyard.)
I was born in down south WA whilst my dad was posted there as a cop. They managed to arrest an ancient relic who had children with his kids and grandkids. Probably not the worst thing that happened there, as the local daycare would lock literal babies in the cupboard if they started "acting up"
Bunbury? Of maybe further south near Albany?
@@APOKALYP5E Nope lmao. Manjimup
Always knew Manji was a hole. Had to travel there for High school
My friends brother manage to staunch this gronk kid to get him to give him the keys to his car then get him to jump in the boot of his own car. He then drives the car from Young to Canberra then to Coota and then back to young. After they get back they give him the keys to his car only for the radiator to blow up 2 blocks down
Didn't grow up in a country town but spent a lot of time visiting my grandparents in Echuca. We were walking near the kmart one evening when a pseudo-military ute basically barreled into the intersection and over the roundabout ahead of us. Notably, there was some whacked-out guy hanging off the passenger side window, which was open, yelling at the driver to "return his wallet" along with some various insults. The whole event was over in a couple of seconds, but needless to say it left quite the impression.
Sounds like Deni locals invading Vic again
Just one which won't have vaguely 'legal' problems- Country Scouting
Because parents thought some social activity would be good, get sent to scouts, despite living 60km from Tamworth in the bush, never enough bush skills to learn.
So its a mixed age range from 14 to 17 and the scout leader would have us do hay baling for him on his farm to raise funds for the scout hall to keep the electricity and roof on and if you've never done hay baling in summer when its 40C. Its a dogs job you wouldn't foist upon your worst enemy!
Dehydration and child labour laws aside, time for some land navigation.
The type which most army cadets would look at and say, nope, its just stupid and you'll die or have to be rescued from a flooded ravine. So our Leader reckons we're good enough to navigate through 30km of steep gorge country on the great dividing range, in mid winter, with full packs and being its a weekend, 2 days to do it. I have come close to death several times in my life, but this was probably the closest to thinking I might not make it at all-
Temps between -9 and 5degrees celcius
It rained so hard it was coming into valleys sideways
There is no trails, just more bush, more map, more compass and trying to figure out were the fuck we where and going to
2nd day was sleet and rain to the point frostbite is an actual possibility
Walking and crawling up the sides of muddy hills
Through pine forest plantation you couldn't even see the sky above
But we did honestly make it in 2 days and it was possibly the worst weekend of my entire 50 years of my life
Can confirm rural scouting hasent really changed in 30 or so years 😂😂
There’s this local legend in my hometown. The story goes that he was a normal man with a wife and a house, he became a pokie addict and lost everything, took out loans he couldn’t pay back, now he lives in a tent 2kms out of town, he has an iconic pile of prawn heads near his tent because he goes prawning and fishing for food, he has a car, but the cops don’t pull him over cause they know who he is and his story. I actually found out I was fishing with him at the local wharf when I was 12-15yrs old and never even knew. That was 10yrs ago, he’s still out there, I still see him to this day
How about something to do with the mayor of a Queensland regional capitol accepting $150,000 interest free 'loan' (Bribe) from a property lawyer who's clients can now build anything anywhere in the regional councils reach??? No??? Not small enough... Righto.
Didn't they even investigate and confirm it and just leave it at *No charges are being pressed against Mr Singh or somtin
Same guy that looked into the Toowomba council stuff. The guy that stepped down afterwards? Yes... That's basically what he said. And he WILL win again...
One time when driving to Bathurst there was some guy pulled over the side of the road, hands on his hips, facing directly towards me, shorts around his knees taking a piss. Man even waved as we drove past. What the man lacked in size he made up for with sheer confidence.
Completely unrelated story but my uncle made a bong out of a choccy milk bottle the night of my Nan's funeral. Pop just kinda sat and watched him in disgust while I tried playing darts while drunk
I went to a pub BBQ/weekend party in NT where a guy with a new bike tossed it onto a bonfire because it wasn't a Harley. He was sad the next morning and hung over.
When I was in primary school (grade 6), I was in the toilet and had just finished up when as I was about to leave another kid came in and says "ohh yumm". he then preceded to pick up the soap that i had just pissed on and not just bite it, but completely consume the whole thing. The amazing part was he didn't even get sick from it. apparently this was a common occurrence for this kid.
Why did you piss on the soap?
fucking magnus
The town I grew up in of Young, we had a field trip for legal studies class in year 11 to the local courthouse we were advised not to interact with anyone as we were walking through to observe proceedings, my best friend not even 2 seconds later yells "C*nt that's my dad" who he hadn't seen in over 10 years we thought he might have been joking as we never knew his dad,it indeed was his dad and after that excursion his dad gave him $20 and a bag of Skittles to make up for lost time.
“Sorry champ, here a stick and some skittles”
SA early 1970s we were runaways from a locked girls home in Victoria and escaped the three of us and hitched all the way to SA. We arrived to the Flinders Ranges and spent a cold night surrounded by cows coming for a sticky beak. We were so cold! Next morning we were caught by a ranger trying to pinch some blankets from a property, we’re caught and scolded for being thieves and the Ranger said we could have asked him and he would have given them to us. He drove us to a town called Parachillna a small railway town then with just a pub were we were looked after by the owners and 20 or so residents all men. We were the town attraction being the only pubescent females in a mostly male environment for miles around and attracted visitors to the pub. We weren’t there long but one day the local Mayer came, an old guy with his wife. The Mayer got drunk and sleazy and even opened his fly exposing himself and he had to leave to save his reputation but we were always very safe. I look back with fondness on these people and different times as we could have come to so much harm but did not. Just a good story for balance Jordan. Everyone is different and lucky we didn’t meat Ivan Milat.
Wee Jasper has yowies, and I found out because this little guy in a bait shop on Canterbury road captivated us for an hour about his yowie encounter, and it was truly fascinating and terrifying
Oh dude my uncle in Canberra will not shut up about bloody yowies
Talbingo bingo
A guy from the town I grew up near in country NSW was an excavator driver. He got in a fight with a bloke at the pub. Afterwards he drunk drove his excavator to the guys house and dug up the lawn. The only problem was he got the wrong house and dug up the next door neighbors lawn. Local legend
The best part about the Labor Government? Lack of scandals which means Jordie can make more videos on the important stuff
How about that Lidia bikie scandals? I know it's greens but seems Lidia likes the bad boys, this was while she was on a commission into organised crime.
@@kingbillycokebottle5484 I don’t fucking care I want to see more warhammer videos
@@dash5879 I mean that's fair. Always good to catch up wiv da bois
I’m from the Central Coast (which used to be a country town) and the story isn’t mine but might as well entertain the dregs of the Internet. A bit of my hometown’s local history during World War II: everyone was worried the Japanese were going to invade then one day on the beach cross the sea they saw a giant cloud and they thought it was a fleet of Japanese zeros and Japanese ships trying to invade the Central Coast and conquer of Sydney and Newcastle. Christ knows why they wanted to invade Newcastle, so what the town does is all the locals, now these are all old people children and spinsters all grab their shotguns, run down to the beach preparing to repel the Japanese. Turns out the black cloud they saw was actually a bunch of seagulls
cenny coast is just a collection of country towns. Each part is its own thing istg.
Looking in the comments for Bj Joe.
One of my Dads stories from his upbringing in Yarram was a bloke came out of the bottle shop doing a bit of a skid, one of the 3 policemen in Yarram at the time saw him, they locked eyes then the policeman just pointed at a spot on the side of the road came over, grabbed his keys and said "come see me in a few weeks" and that was that, he got his keys back a few weeks later and the car didn't move during that time.
I don't have much in the way of personal stories because I lived out of town and I don't think enough time has passed for the few stories I do have to go from serious to funny
I used to work for council as a data collector (surveying) in a country town starting with T ( I’ll let you figure out where ) anyway this town has a bit of a problem with youth crime. One day I was capturing data in a park in the more questionable part of town. No worries it’s not usually too bad. On this particular day however, I hear a loud vehicle coming to the park. Seconds later two kids with shirts covering there faces fang it through the park on a quadbike (they were legitimately gone within a couple seconds they were that fast) being this was a dodgy part of town I didn’t fuss and carried on. Minutes later I heard a loud bang, followed shortly by cops showing up and asking about them. Curious I finished my work to find what happened, as I’m driving I see the kids running on foot chased by the cops. Following in that direction I then found the quad lodged in someone’s lounge room after passing through a fence. 10/10 day on the job
Sounds like Tamworth…
Townsville or Taralgon?
Here's one for you: I was born and raised in Kiama, on the South Coast...was riding my bike down the footpath when I was about 7 or 8 and saw this huge flash out of the corner of my eye, put my feet down on the ground to turn around and look at what had happened and saw a sparking 1140V power line down near where I'd put my foot (still don't have any idea how lucky I was that I didn't put my foot right on it or close enough to arc). Screamed like a little feral and zoomed home, my mum came out to look at what had happened and it turned out that a Pelican had been flying back from the beach to roost for the night and got dazzled by the sunset, flew straight into the power line and cooked itself. I ended up on PRIME 6 pm news getting interviewed (and interviewing a 7-ish year old about something incredibly complex like that went about as well as you expect). Integral Energy offered to pay my parents electricity bill for an entire year if I didn't get interviewed but my dad got on the piss and said "FUCK EM, TELL YA STORY DARL" and the rest is history. Thanks for coming to my sped talk.
Not a country town, but a story from the Gong. First time every getting off at Wollongong train station was a wild ride.
I was sat down on the benches outside the station waiting for my mate to come pick me up for a party when a guy came up to me and asked (I'm sure you can fill in the Cusack-esque dialect here) "oiiiii maaate, can I boz ya phone for a minute? Me brutha was meant to pick me up half hour ago and take me the cop shop. I'm on Parole and they lock me up if I don't make the meeting with me pee-officer." Short conversation later and I entrusted the worlds dodgiest bloke with my phone as he seemed pretty genuine. Low and behold he didn't run off with it. Called up what I assume was his brother, called him a bunch of slurs I cannot repeat, handed me back my phone, called me a 'ledge' and started the sprint half way across the Gong to the police station. So far so good, expectations subverted for the Gong.
But then I sat back down, within 5 minutes an old white lady walked out of the station. She had that real droopy, meth-pocked skin, and started yelling literal jibberish at all the people sat down on the seats. A few people got up and moved but it seemed she didn't want a seat as she then wandered over to the steps next to the station and sat down there. She opened a woolies shopping bag, pulled out a strap, and started shooting up infront of about 15 people. Not a minute goes by before two police officers walked down the stairs past her. One very confusedly realised what the fuck he just walked past, cuffed her, confiscated her shit and escorted her to the paddywagon. My mates picked me up a minute later, and we went for a bite to eat at Chicko's. As we are pulling up, the paddywagon is park out the front of Chicko's and the two officers are ordering food. There is no way they had done a dropoff at the station in that time so they still have a high as shit old lady cuffed in the back of their vehicle while they are getting chippies.
8/10 would return to Wollongong Station
There used to be a bench along Crown Street in the Gong. Written in big letters on in was “F*ck the World, Ro*t the Future” which I always felt summarised the vibe at the Gong perfectly.
Normal Dapto resident
@@saintofkildas I'd expect so much more from Dapto, gotta earn a reputation to become the scene of Damo and Darren
@@PhoenixIsTrash my mate lives in Dapto and I have regularly seen it ranked the worse suburb in Wollongong
As someone who lives in the piss lite version of the country (kenthurst ) not a lot happens here. HOWEVER, I do distinctly remember that a old hay distribution store was raided by police bc it was being used to make coke. ( weird as this region almost solely makes weed and the occasional cabbage). One of the guys fled in his car and decided to pull up into our school. It was around this time that the local rat-men population of our school was shitting themselves scared as the school was searched for methamphetamines.
we used to put dogshit in a wallet and leave it on the road for a passing car to stop to collect. we'd hide in the bushes and watch. got the local copper one day. good times
That’s smart
My dad once told me the story of how one of our questionable locals got his nickname of Tiger in my old town of Mt Beauty.
He was the local postie boy with a shitty, cheap bike equipped with a basket and neon yellow stackhat helmet. 60 years old and still living with his mother.
He got a call from her one day saying there's a massive tiger snake in the back yard. He peddles his way home and rushes into the back yard. The snake sees him and disappears under the house. Our valiant hero, wearing footy shorts and pluggers, grabs 3 flea bombs from the tool shed. Primes one, throws it under the house and crouches down to look. The flea bomb went off, the snake raced out and bites him on the left ankle before disappearing under the tool shed. He primes another flea bomb, throws it under the shed and proceeds to stand over where the snake went again! The flea bomb went off, the snake gets him on the right ankle before dying in the middle of the yard. Our hero, realising he needs medical attention immediately, decides against calling for an ambulance and instead chose to walk 2 kilometres to the local hospital with the dead snake in hand.
By the time he got there, his eyes were on separate circuits as he proceeded to tell the receptionist "I just killed this snake and it bit me!"
He was kept in intensive care for three days...
I grew up in a small town where there was absolutely nothing for me and my Jackass wannabe friends to do, so naturally after school we would just dare each other to do crazier and crazier pranks until the day everything changed with the infamous hotbox incident. We were in the towns local chicken shop after school trying to shake the chicken salt off the chips so one of us could snort it. The owner who could see we were making a mess of the table told us to quit it or we’d be out. When they moved from behind the counter into the storage room my mate Stretcho jumped over the front counter and took a piss in the Hotbox tray and left it there, just sizzling away. The owner came back and didn’t even notice it. The place closed down from lack of business not long after cause everyone at the school knew it as the Piss shop. Still got the video of it on my old Motorola.
Recent story from Cooma NSW; my mate was in court for a DUI charge (nothing new) and another fam friend was set to appear next for whatever he'd done. The case before mates DUI is wrapping up so he's getting ready to go in. The judge has handed down a jail sentence and this bloke requests that he hugs his misses before they cart him off. He's handcuffed and flanked by prison warderns, one of which played rugby league in town, anyway this houso legs it! Straight past the guards and out the court house! Jumps over my family friend who was sitting on thr steps having a smoke and books it to the pub across the road! The guards come out and my mate yells in his 40 years a smoker aussie AF accent "He's gawn that way fellas!" The guards chase after him through the pub, through the pubs kitchen and he's vanished! A man hunt insuses lasting the following week and he's eventually found hiding between two mattresses at his I think sisters house because they had an argument about something unrelated so she called the cops on him. This houso who lived off weed and JD cans out ran two young prison guards in handcuffs, give him a goddamn NRL contract!
Does coming from C-town count?
Once saw a man run out from the tunnel at campbelltown station with a bloody ear and someone else's shoe; as he was being pursued by his victim and assailant, the one-shoed man.
This happened on the way home from school. The police got them quick smart.
Also loved your show. You're even crazier in person!
Only fucken Sydney flogs think Campbelltown is country...we're littered with fucken treechangers out here who try to spruik their rural cred because they lived in C-town for two months...
Alright here's one, from Ipswich Old. Was sitting down at lunch when the special needs kid walked up to me with a dead bird and asked if I knew how to help. I said obviously not and told him to get rid of it but instead he placed it on the ground and I kid you not started giving it CPR. When nothing happened he proceeded to lob the bird at a teacher standing near by and got a weeks worth of detention.
when I was younger or something I was having a sleepover at a friend's house across the road from the pub, we hear screaming and yelling from across the road so we all look out the window to see Davy (local alcohol shaman) fully nude fighting a guy infront of the pub. Davy was weilding a pool cue which he broke over the guys head, upon this development he ran across the road to get away and was run over by the only cop car the town had. the cop missed the commotion at the pub but certainly did not miss Davy, the man was flipping through the air and landed in the curb getting stuck in a drain. we never saw him again, I think he survived and the only cop car we had was out of commission.
this entire story is amazing but i especially love the phrase ‘local alcohol shaman’
It's not much, but I do have a story about how some kids tried to steal the ladder to my treehouse when I was about twelve, and a bloke passing by at the time saw them and set his dogs on those kids.
12-year-old me was impressed.
Also, I grew up in Dubbo. I have stories galore, available on request.
Please feel free to post more stories, I'm thriving off of this comment section
The Medowie Yowie.Don’t forget him or her.
I once put a traffic cone on a street light on a main-ish street of Bendigo and later that week a car plowed into the bustop that I used to climb up, it was stuck up there for about a month until a mate climbed up there to put a tree branch in the top and knocked it off
I was pretty upset about the cone but in the end it did make the local paper in some sort of reaching Halloween themed segment
Probably because the cone was orange.
Dude I remember that
@@5minutesofyourtime hahahaha I stopped doing it as there was no way to top it
Small town in the west aussi wheatbelt. to short ones, 4 or so years a go an old farmer got bitten by a king brown while getting out of a tractor. workman starts panicing and the farmer goes, quote "nah its fine its only a baby, its not gonna kill me" to be fair he lived another hour before going into town complaining of a fever. somehow he didnt relate the snake bite with feeling sick. he was rushed to hospital. the venom claimed his leg but hes still here some how. apparently he was more concerned about his paddock than his leg. Another story. some boys where out shooting and drinking as you do. driving back in the ute he was resting the shotgun on his foot, long story short, hit a bump, bang. He was that pissed he went home minus 4 toes and only relised somthing was wrong when his wife woke up screaming about the blood stain on the sheets.
When I was 7 I was outside, something I rarely did, and was on a walk. While doing it I started picking up newspapers off the ground and throwing them onto rooves, at doors and on the road, I was basically Denis The Menace. One of the houses had giant bushes around it, absolute units. Anyway I through the newspaper over at where I figured the door was and I heard a yell. I panicked as I heard an old lady swearing and yelling that "she will blast my head off". I then ran three blocks as she hobbled after me.
The truck driver story reminds me of when I went for my P's... rocked up for the test and the instructor asked me to pass him my L licence. When I realised I'd left it at home he asked me how far my house was... 10min drive I told him so he said "let's go we can do the test on the way". About 5 mins in I noticed he'd fallen asleep on the 100km/h winding country road. He woke up once we stopped at my parents house, apparently he had a young baby that had kept him up all night and that I'd passed the test because I must be a good driver if he felt comfortable enough to fall asleep, so we could go back to the station now to drop him off now. Here I was thinking I'd have to do some reverse parking and other skill tests but I guess the sleep test was sufficient
I am familiar with John's river and not at all surprised by the story. There are two places of business in the entire "town", one is the pub and the other is a tiny cafe/opshop about 100m away. There's also a dilapidated church surrounded on all sides by cows. Fun place.
Speaking of BJ's, back in the 1960s, there was a Yankee singer named B. J. Thomas, best known for his chart topping hit: "Rain Drops Keep Falling On Me Head" that's the wording on the ' strain release while elsewhere, it was "my head" . With an ear close to the transistor speaker grill, a barely detected rhythmic slurppy sound could be heard. The song also rated high of the Poofs top ten hits of 1966.
I was driving out a country town in NSW called Forbes back to Sydney, where in the corner of my eye. I saw this stand that said Moonshine for sale, me being the curious Liberal voting Sydneysider had to stop. We stopped and a man that strongly resembled Cletus from The simpsons simply said '$10 a litre' holding these used mountain dew 1.25L bottles covered in glad wrap with moonshine written in front with a sharpie. Just as we were going to do the deal, I heard a loud gun shot behind me and a small girl saying "owe". The small child than runs over to this Cletus Fella and said "Dad Dylan shot me". Cletus simply brushes it off and replies back you'll be alright. Me not being able to watch a kid get shot by his older brother suggested going to the hospital which after a back and forth arguement with Cletus agreed. He then leaves the small child with me unaccompanied and makes me drive to the local medical centre back in Forbes. I request to see a doctor immediately and was prompted greeted by a doctor that looks like smokey the bear in human form. I explained to him what happened and he simply places the child on a bed and said show me where you got shot. In the ten minute that follows, he manages to take two shotgun pellets from this girl's bum/hamstring area and sends me on my way. No request of medicare/no attendance by cops which flabbergasted me. I return with tthe child and was promptly rewarded with a 1.25L of moonshine which I have not drank to this day.
yeah Forbes and around there is fairly crazy at times.
That's a winner!
Wagga Wagga station has this brick patter in the garden in between the tracks that says Wagga Wagga but someone snuck across and changed it to wags the dog
in my local area a school mate of mine threw a fence post through a cop cars window impaling him then ran off into the bush last time i heard anything he managed to get to the Queensland border before being caught by police. man ice addicts get up to fun forgot how long hes serving in prison but he'll probably gain some valuable life skills in there, like how to make a toothbrush shiv or toilet wine
I saw a dwarf riding a large husky along the footpath just outside Erina Fair at 11pm on a weekend.
Last week for muck up day, we had a water balloon fight between the year 12s that ended with two teachers in hospital ("broken wrist" and a "burst eardrum"). I guess that's what happens when the rabid year 9s think they can join in. By the end of the day the town's cop had shown up and every bathroom except one was unusable, glitter, tampons and an inordinate amount of Italian bread (tuckshop favourite). The whole grade got sent home early and had their pool party for the next day cancelled even though I'm pretty sure it wasn't organised in time anyway. Not to mention a group of students commandeering the school's radio to blast the theme songs of kid's shows from the 2000s .All this along with the usual crossdressing and tp in trees. A penis painted on the school sign out the front as well. I'd call the whole ordeal an improvement over last year, seeing as how that year's primary strategy was just smashing a bunch of windows, not very creative. Hopefully next year they will let us continue the tradition of destruction, violence, and bread related mayhem. Fingers crossed
We were waiting for a cab outside a pub in seaside SA and the previous passenger did a runner. The cabby left the car running and we hopped in. Some drunk dude decided he would drive and sped off. Pinballing off kerbs at 140 we asked him to let us out. He apparently drove to his own house and left a tenner on the dash
I have a story from my mum in a small town called Castlemaine before I was born. My mum was taking my baby sister out for a walk in a stroller to park. A man on a bike started riding up alongside her and my mum was pretty confused as to what he wanted. Well he opens his jacket and flashed his peepee while riding this bike. My mum tries to book in with my sister in the stroller while being pursued down the park by a bike flashing naked man.
I was in the emergency department in Cairns a few years back and there was this chick that was brought in by the Ambos as she had apparently drunk 1.5 litres of bleach. They do all the usual checks and what not and after 10mins the nurses walk away to consult the Docs.. Sooo low and behold, for some genius reason, they left the half empty bleach bottle that she drank out of next to her in her cubicle.. and she picks it up and chugs it down like it's Madd Monday. I nearly vomited myself watching it, then security rushed in to save the day and took the empty bottle off her.... Anyways, the next 5 hours involved her defecating bleach after it cooked her insides. *Worst smell imaginable*
A guy I went to school with started micro dosing LSD and went a bit nuts. He stripped naked in the early hours of the morning and went into some woman's house and lay down on her couch. She comes out to find him there and he asks her if she wants to "get naked and enjoy themselves".
0:57 What bands could assemble such a massive crowd? You'd need like an impossible lineup like AC/DC, Metallica and Pantera, each in their prime, to form so many people.
I was playing handball at my old primary school, Wallsend Public with my friends Bryce and Jordan, when the ball fell into the tiny garden next to the library brick wall (strange placement) I was going to pick up the ball when all of a sudden I hear Bryce yell "ah" and I feel myself flying head first into the brick wall, all I remember after that was I woke up in Sickbay with the nurse telling me to go back to class I was "obviously faking"
So how about that windale place huh
@@dominoespizza1756 hahaha omfg
went on one of my frequent visits to Kimba, SA to visit my grandparents. The only thing the town is known for is "The Big Galah" , and the more recent adition of a uranium dumping site. Went to vist the rusting metal bird once when I was 6, and there was nothing else there but a cracked carpark, an almost empty gift shop selling made in China junk, and an emaciated dog trailing the biggest nuts I've ever seen across the property. He was bleeding profusely from said nuts and a couple of local old blokes were leaning up against their cars, watching it walk by and discussing how it may have injured itself, but making no move to help.
I'm sure plenty of people have far better stories from Mildura than I do, but when I was in primary school some of the kids in the adjoining neighbourhood (which look like Australian Chernobyl and was right next to murray-darling water authority building) started throwing bottles of piss at students over the fence. I'm also fairly certain the kids doing it we're not wearing shirts?
G’day from Longreach, Queensland. Being in a relatively remote area, we get a lot of teachers straight out of Uni. We had this one maths teacher who we’ll call mr. ‘G’ Shore. The whole class of about 25 kids bullied him so much that one day he got so mad that he shit his pants. It was so bad that he went home and changed his whole outfit. (Socks and all)
He ended up being told to put his resignation in.
Still feel bad for ‘G’ Shore.