Yay!!! New AMWDW *watches* I didn’t think I would cry from this, but alas even this topic plucked some sensitive strings of mine. Oddly enough I’ve had a group of friends abandon me when my channel started growing, and with some hectic troubles with this year, I thought I would lose more. There is that lingering fear I suppose for me as well, but what helps me to cope are simple words my step dad told me. They seem to help me a lot so I’ll share them: “Don’t worry about things that are outside your control, but do so for the things you can.”
Dealing with anxiety and depression is never easy. What's worse is it's hard to talk about to someone unless you know that they have experienced it as well. I have dealt with it as well. And still deal with it, though not as much as I use too. The older I get the more I realize there is one person who is always available to talk. Yes I am referring to Jesus. I know what prayer is not an instant fix. But it does provide that extra level of comfort when there is nothing and no else to turn to.
I love our community. Whenever one of us is feeling down, or is having troubles, there is always at least somepony else willing to help them. Thank you for showing us this Dr. Wolf, thank you so much.
Actually Arumau, I can relate with you, a lot, I have ADHD, and autism. And I felt my mom sometimes hate me despite the fact she loves me over others. I'm not perfect, and I can improvise, but even the smallest mistake can change my thoughts into negativity. But... the thing is I am actually one of the most happiest people in my family because I always have a happy face, despite the fact I have bad images throughout my life. And the worst part, I don't have many friends, since I always transfer schools. And Arumau, that's one of the reasons I wanted to be your friend, because I felt something between us, and this is it
I don’t think I’ve related to a AMWDW more than this. I’ve gone through similar experiences as Aramau and though those moments have passed I’m tormented by the thoughts of being worthless and unworthy of my own loved ones. My love and support goes to you aramau your strength and the help from your loved ones will get you through this. And hopefully for me too. 😊❤️
This hit me on such a personal level that it felt like I was speaking to Dr. Wolf myself. I have so many of these same fears and anxieties that I have gone days feeling at my absolute worst because I'm scared that I'm being accounted for every little thing I do, and that it's some extravagant screw up that will cause me to loose my job, my husband, or my friends. I'm loud, talkative, very open about myself, and can be quite obnoxious if I'm not careful. I was picked on quite often in school so any friends I would make would often leave me for fear of getting the same abuse I was getting, so I was often left aone and vulnerable. Watching this has helped me realize a couple of things I can do to help myself out of those times. I've also recently started an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety perscription while going to counsling. I'm 32. For anyone out there who thinks they are past getting help: It's never too late.
Aramau, I know how you feel. The fear of people leaving paralyzes me, and the fact I have anxiety and emotional outbursts, makes it worse. I’ve had people in my life leave me and not tell me why, I had people talk about how horrible I was behind my back, I couldn’t trust anyone. I still have friends, and I love them so much. I worry about making friends beyond everything. I’m afraid that they will get tired of me, that they will see me is a horrible person, especially if I forget to do something. I’m scared of my anxiety and my depression, because it drove people away and made everyone mad at me, mad at myself especially. I put too much expectations on myself, I eventually had to learn to cope with these thoughts, I eventually had to learn to talk about my problems, and I’ll be honest, I haven’t had a horrible thought like that in over two months give or take. I know that I will have bad days, everybody does. When those bad days come, there are things I can do. You are so much stronger than you think. You are loved, you are respected, and you are important. We love you so much. I know you may hear this from time to time, but I think it’s important that you hear it every now and again ❤️
Well, I definitely have a lot of food for thought now. I can relate to a lot of what Aramau has gone through. Through freshman year of high school, I kept mostly to myself, thinking that I don't need friends. I have my family, that's all I need. Then one day during the next school year, I was invited over to a table during lunch, and it was awkward. I just kept silent while everyone else spoke. I figured this would be temporary and there was no point in getting to know these people. But then I was invited over again and this got me thinking that maybe they really wanted me to be part of their group. I was very nervous and a bit insecure, but I decided I'd sit with them from then on, asking myself what kind of harm could I possibly do? That was one of the best decisions of my life. These people became some of the greatest friends I ever had. From that point on through graduation, I was the happiest I'd ever been. After high school, though, we went our separate ways. I wanted to keep in contact through Facebook and Skype, but for one reason or another, we stopped talking. One just outright stated that she didn't want to talk anymore, and another almost always happened to be out or busy when I called. The few times I did get ahold of her, she didn't have much time to talk. The rest, except for one, simply broke contact. The insecurity returned and I started questioning myself. "Did I do something wrong? Did they realize something about me they didn't like? Was it my fault that they didn't want to talk anymore?" These questions would occasionally surface over the next few years. Then I moved on, or at least I tried. I made new friends, but the dynamic that happened and happiness I felt during high school was never truly recaptured. It came close, but not quite. I'm not disheartened, though. I know there's a brighter future ahead of me. I know there will be dark times, but when I can make them brighter, I will make them as bright as they can possibly get. And Aramau, if you ever read this, I want you to know that you are loved and appreciated far more than you realize, no matter what.
I connected very strongly with this video. I once had an ex who suffers with depression and anxiety. She’s been dealing with these since she was very young. When we were together she made mistakes and after every single one of them she would tell me to break up with her. She was afraid that I would leave her for every mistake she made. She would constantly ask me why I was with her because in her mind I was perfect. But because of her depression she never saw the greatness in her. She constantly thinks that I and all of her friends will betray her and leave her. Even though we’re not together anymore I’m still a good friend of hers and yet she still thinks that I will betray and leave her. But what hit the most from her was that she never trusted me. Even when we were dating she never told me her problems. She would be in her worst mental state and not tell me what was up. But she would tell others about them. Not just one other person but almost the entire friend group but not me. I’m so happy Aramau could put herself out there and show it to the world. I wish other people could do that as well. But I know some people can’t talk about their problems because they can’t trust anyone. Not even their closest friends. And that saddens me. That people like my ex who are amazing people can’t tell others about their problems. It saddens me that the pressure put on them can drive so many to suicide and self harm. Dr. Wolf has been my greatest inspiration for the better part of 4 years now. He’s help so many good people and has help me be a better person through watching his videos. He’s helped me see how I can help others. How I can see multiple points of view and multiple problems at once. This video and the one with keyframe (sorry if I misspelled) hit me the most. Because even though I may not be able to relate. I can use the lessons and messages given to help others. Just like what Dr. Wolf does.
I had to pause the video for a few moments because I'm crying...Ive felt the same way and have been dealing with depression and anxitey for years now..enough that I don't want to socialize and isolate myself from others due to the fear that people will not like me due to my disability getting in the way. I feel the same way as you ama, those same fears..althou I'm too scared to go forward and go against the hurdles in life..im afraid of change. But this was very inspirational thank you so much for sharing your inner thoughts and thank you dr.wolf for helping people
That was thoughtful. I admit whenever I look to find friends or other relationships, I do feel like I'm just a dime a dozen. That I'm not important enough to them to hold their attention. Because of that, I spend hours thinking about my next response and just hoping whatever it is, I don't mess anything up. Like I'll say the wrong thing and drive them off. I believed as long a struggle like that keeps going, I haven't earned the right to be happy. Something good just happened, but I shouldn't enjoy it, because something bad will come along too. But after so many struggles, I just wanted to feel good, and I didn't want to wait until I was home, watching a cartoon or something to feel that way. I figured I could try and bring that feeling to the worst times, like when I'm working on a busy day. I just acknowledge there's always going to be bad days and remembering the good times helps us get through them.
Aramau.... I can totally relate. I've got so many problems that it's hard for people to "fix me permanently." I mostly suffer though with depression, anxiety, and ADHD constantly clashing with each other to the point of witch people think I'm ether bipolar or have multiple personalities disorder or MPD for short. Don't help that on a medical level I'm considered half blind legally and physically too. I found my one true escape however in the form of the incredible's movies and OH BOY DO I LOVE THEM! I love everything about them.......but then MLP came into my world while the wait for the sequel was happening and I loved it for different reasons. For one thing I'm extremely thick headed so it makes it hard for me to learn life lessons. This show helped with that, it also taught me more about colors and how there ARE various different shades and hues. Because of this I'm thinking of making a strange cross over fanfic. The work in title might delay it but this is what I got so far "The Incredible's Interdimensional!"
I can definitely relate, Ari. I had my own group of friends exclude and leave me without an explanation when I was young. Almost my entire family also left my faith, leaving me with feelings of abandonment, anxiety, and depression. It made things difficult for a long time. I still struggle sometimes in making new friends and still get angry with my family at times. But I've learned, as strange as it may sound, to enjoy both the highs AND lows of life. The lows stink. They stink BAD. But they do help me better appreciate when times are good when I work on having the right mindset. I do hope you get closer to the support system you need to get through these trials. There's nothing better than the comforting words of someone who loves you when you're feeling low. 💖💖💖
Aramau, I know this feel. I've been afraid of losing friends as I've lost friends before too. I feared that I would become a person no one could love or appreciate. What helped me... or at least part of what helped me was realizing I've been who I am for my whole life. It isn't going to change so suddenly and to such an extreme degree. I had to take the time to remember this and eventually, I came to trust myself. It's not an easy process and it isn't painless. I still have my lows where melancholy slips in and I feel small, but it's gotten better. It's important to seek to become a better person, to improve. Out of fear of being alone, I took note of my flaws and what I was doing that would upset people; Instead, striving to be kind, to listen in hopes that someone would accept me for a friend. I still fear being alone or abandoned, but I'm not alone. So long as I make the effort to listen and pay attention to what I do while not being too self-critical, those who are doing the same, those who are true friends will find me, listen, and continue to be by my side. I can tell you care. That's a sign of a true friend. :3 I'm sorry you've gone through all this. Know that you're not alone *hugs*
I'm so sorry Aramau that those middle school kids did that to you. Especially since you really are a nice and cool person. Also, I understand how it feels to be picked on for being an oddball or a weirdo. However, over time you learn that those people are jerks and that their opinions do not matter and to trust who you are. Don't allow the jerks of the world to keep you down.
I'll be honest... I can strongly relate to everything she said I've been dealing with chronic depression for years I think maybe 6 maybe 8.... I don't know I lost count. I was never allowed to explore my feelings never felt sad or emotional or anything I was always told to get over them move past them ignore them a bunch of other things. I thought if I would just isolate how I felt and ignore it and just move past I would be okay. I was devastating wrong because now I've been dealing with a lot more. 3 years ago I decided to open up my emotions again and now that I'm facing them and expressing them I am confused I'm agitated and angry and I feel very lonely. Thankfully I have good friends and some family and my girlfriend who are there for me and try to help me out. I don't like to talk about my personal problems too much because I feel like no one cares and wants to hear and sometimes when I do talk about them I feel like I talk about them too much I just seems like the only thing I'm good for at the moment he's complaining about what I'm dealing with. I have a lot going on in my life right now. Town of family drama, trying to start saving money so I can move out of state, I'm at the risk of losing my job if I make one more mistake. I'm dealing with certain physical pains. And now she more things. And my emotions being the way they are now is not helping me. A friend of mine recommended I go talk to a therapist and I try and get some kind of help because I feel like I'm falling apart. Part of me wants to go and talk to them but Another Part Of Me believes that it's a week to do so I have tried to be the strongest person in my life I tried to do so much to prove that I am strong and something like this makes me feel as if I'm nowhere near strong enough to carry the world's burden on my shoulders. People always look at me and they judge me don't expect anything from you in my life well mainly my family. A great majority of them looks down on me because of choices I made mind you it's nothing wrong I've always tried to take care of people and make sure my choice benefit many and many good ways but they still just look down on me and have a very small paint about me. I'm running out of options on what to do I'm running out of ideas I'm hurting. I just... I don't know anything anymore...
Machine Dragon Nero Always remember, you are loved unconditionally. There is one who knows your sufferings like no other. Never give up. Peace th-cam.com/video/ETsUF1MQBLY/w-d-xo.html
Love isn't limited. It's a limitless, unconditional thing that can be shared by any number of people. Don't give up. Things will get better. And speaking from personal experience, any situation can get better eventually. Just stay strong, and know that they love you. I think it's impossible to say that no one loves you, and that you shouldn't love yourself or anyone else because of it. But it's nice to hear that you've embraced your feelings, and I can only hope that things get better from the good place your at right now. Family can put unrealistic expectations on your life, but I feel that you just need to go talk to them, tell them how you feel, and I'm sure that things will get better. Every life has down points, and high points. Right now, you may be at a low point, but the roller coaster of life can only get higher from the lowest point.
Its sessions like these that can help people and pony alike. Simply saying your mind to someone is a daunting task to many. Yet the result can be quite refreshing and even more so if it was toward a helpful friend or family member. I should know, I've seen many results first hand.
Aramau I feel you in the anxiety. I suffer from general anxiety disorder too and when I know something is all in my head and worry excessively over things as well. I have a fear of failure and letting others down. I feel too obnoxious or too loud or too curious. I actually have never close friends last long until high school and college. And I still have fears that my best friend who I’ve know for about a decade now. I fear she’ll hate me over something I say that’s stupid. And I find out later she didn’t think much about it at all.
There is one hiccup here I wish there was more punctuation on sometimes you have to be sad, you have to cry or scream or reflect. It helps you grow as a person and learn how to deal with emotions. No one can be happy 100% of the time as it robs the sweetness from the moments of actual peace. I have depression and even I can say that my father is my awesome rock he doesn’t coddle me or ignore me. He lets me do what I need to get better with a patience I pray I can find in a partner one day. And as he loves to quote “this too shall pass”, the only constant is change and if you do it right then maybe change for the better.
Oof. It’s uncanny how much what happened here mirrors my own life. When I was in elementary and middle school I had several friends who eventually turned around and started joining the multitude of bullies who saw what an easy target I was. It didn’t help that a couple of my closest friends eventually transferred schools and I was left trying to make due without them. The fear and anxiety from those experiences and some at home ultimately drove me to isolate myself and just settle into a basic routine, settling for whatever mediocre result I could get instead of actively trying to shape my life. It’s a hole that, even now, I’m struggling to climb out of. But it’s good to see someone like you, Aramau, who has made it quite a ways further than I have at the moment, and know that it’s not insurmountable. If you can get as far as you have, then you can keep going and make it further. You’re a good person who is worthy of love, even in the times when it feels impossible to believe it.
Pretty cool Ari and doc the fact that this exist really makes me feel happy also I can relate way more to Ari now trust me Ari in more ways than one *I can relate to you Aramaru
You know this video really hit home for me, as it clearly did for so many others, I feel that way a lot as well but as Doc said I try not to let it control me. I try to focus on the positive rather than the bad. In light of that I just want to say I adored how Ari called the doc "my dear doctor pupper" that was a much needed giggle.
One of my biggest fears, apart from failure, is how people perceive me, so I can relate to this struggle of yours, Aramau. Whenever I am performing a task (and this was/is especially true during my training phase of my summer job), I find myself more focused on what people will think of me and my work, and not on the work itself, and that's where my screw-ups come from (I'm working on this and slightly improving, but man, is it hard). And when I screw up, no matter how trivial the mistake is, I feel like a complete flop of a human being, and I have essentially disappointed those around me. When panic situations occur, I completely shut down and become a deer in the headlights, so-to-speak. I'm a second-guesser, I fear the future, and I fear of the fact that I'm becoming an adult and I will soon be living on my own, making my own decisions, doing my own things, and having to take on challenges without my parents right beside me. Sure, I can call them for things, but once they're gone, that's it. I'm alone. At least for a while. And that terrifies me. It terrifies me that the mistakes I make then, large or small, are going to try and spin a web of self-doubt in my head and make me feel like I can't do anything right. It's rough. And I, too have the tendency to get over-emotional. In fact, on my second day of training at my summer job, I got home and burst into tears because I was terrified I wasn't going to be good enough. That I was going to completely fail at this job that my parents wanted me to have. They had to comfort me, and while some may find it silly that I did that, it's what happens when you're someone like me who worries so much about how the world sees you and what will happen to you if you mess up badly enough. Thank you for this, both you and Doc. Perhaps one day I can discuss a topic of my own in that renowned office. I wish you good luck and good health, Aramau.
It also doesn't help that I have special needs as well. Granted, while it hasn't made me too much of an invalid. Growing up on a farm with more than capable parents and siblings has often been a blow on my self-esteem. Especially when my father hopes for me and/or my younger sister to take over the place, should something happen to them
I know I’m going to sound like a jerk for saying this, but the fact that you talk about a topic this deep while in your avatars is actually pretty funny. I do feel bad for Aramau, but goddamn was it hard to try not to burst out laughing at this
I cried during this video. I just see so much of myself in Aramau in this video. When my friends left me, I felt like she did, like I was worthless, and I can only hope that things get better for her.
I can relate... with the mistakes... I know how it feels to have a mistake, and then someone comes along, we get into a fight... and then... they start to bring up old news, my old mistakes, and uses them to their advantage just so they can gain ground and... they can make me upset or just... ... ..
*hugs Aramau with all my might* It gets better Aramau. Even if it takes a while, it does get better. We are all here for you and love you very much....including Firebrand. I'm truly glad that you have such an amazing boyfriend in him, and i know he will treat you well. It's never wrong to feel anxious or depressed, because you will always have your friends and family to talk to, just like Firebrand and Doctor Wolf, whenever you feel down: we are all standing with you to the end of the line.❤💜💛💚💙💖
I know this feeling....I know a few Wonderful people ….However … I worry if I do anything or say anything wrong...They will leave . Even though I think this sometimes ...I know That even if I mess up they will stay with me because...They are like family..They *are* my family . I cant imagen a world without knowing them.
As a long time follower of Christ this is one of those things where you can know all the right answers ,but its always the process of acting on them that is hard. i both empathize and sympathize with you on this struggle. stay strong, focus on the positives and know there are tons of folks who really dig what you do! ;)
A wise man once told me to doubt my doubts before I doubt my faith. Another wise man, more like adopted uncle, also told me “When your down, remember who you are. You are a child of the most high. You are a child of God.” Hope things continue to improve for you.
Dang this discussion hits my life on the nose. Granted I don't have a girlfriend but still... all the worries Aramau has and her thought processes are so fricking similar to mine. Heck even the coping mechanisms are similar. Dang it doc this hits way to close to home for me! Thanks for the awesome video.
I'm almost sure anyone can relate to what Aramau is feeling now. This is another very good topic you've touched base on. This episode is so well done and I really feel this will be of great help to many who are having the same trouble as Aramau. Aramau is not alone, she is a good person. Firebrand is very lucky to be with her. Thank you Doc for bringing this topic to our attention. :)
The feeling of being worthy is a wonderful thing which is why do many people want it. Lord knows I try to be a good daughter, a good friend, and a good girlfriend. I can see where Aramau is coming from when she says she questions her worthiness. I doubt myself from time to time and wonder if I really deserve to be here. I hope we can all find that peace of mind that helps us get through our problems of the day/week/month
Oh Aramau. If you are a hugging pony, I offer you a whole bouquet of hugs. I have anxiety and depression (had them for years) and they feed into each other so everything you said I could relate to in one way or another. Damn, Doc. This one hit so close to home it crashed into my living room.
i can really relate to this bc i was always an introvert n wasn't into girly stuff, gossip, or drama n was always mature for my age even in elementary school so making friends was hard for me or i had to pretend to be someone i wasn't. In a family full of extroverts n my interest in things like anime, comics, n cartoons i didn't feel complete there either this lead to anxiety n me bottling up all my feels, as the oldest, the most mature, and most of the time the one w/ the highest grades i thought i had to be the perfect daughter all the time n this drove a huge rift inside of me i sometimes though this is it today is the day i crack n attack someone for even the smallest of reasons. I always had a strong bond w/ my mom be we have practically nothing in common so it was hard to talk to her about my problems n she was a single parent so when she wasn't working she i thought she'd be too tired to listen to my problems when she had her own.
Aramau, thank you for being willing to share your feelings like that. God alone knows how many other people are going through the same thing, yet are suffering in silence. I hope that whoever is listening here learns something. Also, I hope that you yourself are able to cope when those negative feelings come. There is a song that I know of that might help. It's called "You're Not Alone "by Richard Smallwood. When you have the time, why not give it a listen?
Even devout Christians like the Apostle Paul have gotten like this. You'd think with the Gospel and all that "faith, hope, and love" stuff we'd always be happy, right? Nope, not necessarily. Soren Kierkegaard once said, "life is a suffering", and I'm prone to agree. But to paraphrase what you pointed out Doctor Wolf, "without struggle, growth is impossible." As such Ms. Aramau, I have something to share, if you'll be so kind as to hear me out: sorrow too can be a gift from God. I am sorry for what happened, it's not right how those kids treated you, and I do wish there was an easy solution to all this, but there's not. I don't want to start a war here with anyone, but, the great thing about Jesus is, He showed me that even though I know am worthless on my own (that is, apart from His grace and guidance), still I am loved, not because of what I am, but in spite of it. "A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench" (from Isaiah 42:3, KJV), and again "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as [*]have a contrite spirit [*literally "are crushed in spirit"]" (Psalm 34:18, NKJV). Josh and the others should be proof enough of that to you. He's a Christian, right? So, have him preach the Gospel, from the heart, preferably face-to-face and with at least the audio recorded so you can at least hear it from his mouth whenever you need to. Not gonna lie, it'll still hurt, but...it should help a bit at least too. Isaiah 53 and Romans 7 should help too if you're interested. Just my two probably insignificant cents on the matter, but I hope they help. I've got my own tantabus to face, and I don't want to barge in where I don't belong or speak out when it's not my place. God bless and hang in there, Ms. Aramau.
I suffer from this exact same issue, assuming or at least fearing people will see me the way *I* see me. And my inner critic is *utterly* merciless. I just always feel like this weird, worthless outsider who doesn't really belong anywhere.
I remember in middle school my best friend moved away and then the following year my next closest friend started to shun me for no apparent reason. I ended up closing myself off. It took forever and a kitty for me to learn how to open myself back up, but recently my sister and I have gotten onto many fights. Then last month she told me she hates and that I was part of the reason she nearly committed suicide. I don't even know what I did. Because of that I've closed myself off again, nearly committing suicide myself. It took a cat to talk me out of it. I am doing better now, but like Aramau said, those thoughts never really leave.
I feel your pain. In my experience though one needs to love themselves...truely, unequivocally, love themselves. It starts by forgiving your mistakes Accepting that you will make new ones... Then do what YOU love. Do it with all your heart... Then you begin to heal, and the doubts...arent as strong...there still there but it's a long process...
OH MY CELESTIA! This almost perfectly describes how I feel about depression and anxiety Thank you Aramau and Dr. Worlf This has helped me to better understand myself, thank you
I know the feeling sometimes I do get that worried feeling on my mind with alot of my friends, especially my past mistakes I felt it still happen recently then a year ago and if I do make one worried if I did so many and lose my friends, sometimes I feel some of them dont want spend time but I know it's not true just hate this feeling
Thankfully I only have anxiety and not also depression. Especially since I'm usually the rock for others when they're feeling down. I can very very much relate, though, to many of those feelings. The irrational fears, the lack of control of your own emotions... it's one of the hardest things I have to deal with. Thankfully I have wonderful friends who are usually there with me to keep my confidence bolstered.
I can relate to those with depression and anxieties. I also feel unworthy of love and friends with how, as much as I hate to admit it, childish I tend to be. Sorry if I'm rambling or venting where I shouldn't. :(
Right now I feel little bit of mid-life crisis that my life isn't going the way I want to go or that I'm feeling left behind everyone around me, I try to accomplish small projects one at a time or remind myself that I don't need to compare myself with everyone.
yes, yes it is..... 12:42 The only way so far that I can explain that phenomenon of 'filing that I'm not good at the task's I perform' is that I fill that I could do so much better then what I did for that task. Especially when I get praise for it, it makes me fill that there trying to make me feel good about myself instead of telling me the truth. I agree that practice is the way to go in this case. Its probably just me, I feel that the advice was confusing for this situation although there was a moment wear it made much sense I don't want to put you down you are trying to understand which is good.
I've just given up on caring on people i don't know a long time ago. Only ever had a few friends when that dwindeld away i never build up anything else.
Thank you for this video. I struggle with this too. Especially at this job. An employee always looks at me, scowls me, and even blames me for not doing something right. I tell the others and my manager, but they say to brush it off, have to be strong, even learning that she was raised differently. Apparently her parents must of yelled at her too or judge her harshly or something. But they say those things over again and she still looks at me harshly. Makes me want to quit because of her, she treats me like I am not good enough. Your not alone
I know a lot people on Deviant art who have anxiety issues and stuff. I just my best to be a good friend and give comforting words. Even I suffer anxiety sometimes. But I try to be positive.
If people can't accept you for who you are, then their the ones that don't deserve to be your friends. I think that a lot of the time, the biggest reason there's conflict is because people don't talk. You have to discuss things before the little problems get out of hand. And sometimes, people just can't accept things the way they are, and feel like things that don't need changing do, when in reality, you just need to let go and allow things to happen. I think that in the end, Amaru has good friends and a good boyfriend. I feel that she should try to be her best self for them, and if they can't see how amazing she is, then she should let it go, and try her best to move on. It's not her fault that all her friends were super rude to cut her out of her friend group because she wasn't super fashionable. I've dealt with these types of people before, so I can relate, but you have to pick yourself back up, and find a way to be happy. I used to be a temperamental person, because of something that happened to me, and I lost control of my strength, and one day, all my friends told me that I wasn't worth their time, and to stay away from them. I went home crying, but I realized something. I don't have to change a thing. I got new friends, and I learned that if your friends decide to kick you out of their group instead of helping you through your problems, then their not worth your time. I learned to control my temper and strength with the help of another good friend, and it was better the second time. When I found a friend that actually cared about me, I found that it was a better experience to help me deal with my problems. You just have to realize that things happen, people can't always accept you for who you are, and you need to be able to open yourself up again to other people, when a good friend comes around. Because from my experience, a good friend always comes around. Just don't be too closed off, because being a friend is comforting your friends when they need help, and the reason for having a friend is having a shoulder to cry on when things go wrong. And sometimes, they can help you through it.
I wish I couldn't relate to Ari... but I kinda can. Back in my early years of elementary school I made a friend I completely clicked with. He and I were pretty much joined at the hip, we were that inseparable. Then, around 3rd grade, I think it was, my memory isn't exactly the best, I met up with him during recess... and as soon as I called out "Hello", he shouted at me to go away. When I asked why he just said it again... so I did, wondering what I could've done wrong to make him so angry with me. Later that day I learned from my Home Room teacher that a member of his family had recently died. I realized he must've just been hurting, so I forgave him for lashing out at me... but it was already over. No matter how many times I tried to hang out with him again, at first to try help him and after... it just wasn't the same. He didn't seem to care about me anymore... and that hurt. It took til the next year and my 4th grade teacher to get me to try making friends with anyone again. That pain was still there, though. Every time I saw him outside of class (we were never in the same classes after 3rd grade), be it chatting with his other friends or own his own... it hurt, remembering how he'd just ended our friendship without warning and never even tried to say anything after. He just wrote me out of his life. I don't think I ever truly got over that. Heck, this is really the first time I've thought of it in years... but it still hurts, remembering how it felt that day. And it wasn't the last time I was written out of a friendship without even being told. Just a few years ago I had a coworker who was always talking about how bad MLP and the fandom are... and not long after I broke and told him I was a Brony, especially when it was him bad mouthing the fandom for so long that got me curious enough to look into it to see if his words had any weight to them, he decided we weren't friends anymore... but didn't even tell me for almost a year, until it was a few days before he'd be leaving for other work. He didn't even tell me for almost a year that we weren't friends anymore, leaving me thinking we still were for all that time.
Good video DrWol001! I have anxiety and depression but my friends and family help me to get better though the years. I hope you will feel better drwolf and aramau.
That was really touching. I get that feeling of unease, making and having friends. Most of my "friends" stopped interacting with me completely over the summer holidays, right before we were going to start our 6th out of 8 years of secondary school together. The only one who still talked to me afterwards had moved, so there wasn't really anyone I could talk to. Now I've accepted that they have never actually been my friends and I don't really remember that many good things about them anyways thanks to SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory). In the past year I've moved on and found some actual friends, whose mental ages are more my mental age than my body's age, so talking to them is way more interesting anyways :D
I understand Aramau's struggle with anxiety, and the ways we create to cope with it. Sometimes those methods aren't the healthiest and are just ways to let everything bottle and fester inside us. But hopefully we can all develop better methods of dealing with anxiety.
I want to thank you two for talking about this. It is surprising how close to home it hit me. Sadly I would not know how it is for friends to gang up on you as I did not have many friends who grow up with me. I still do not. Being an introvert has it's disadvantages. Feeling not worthy for the praise I do get from those I do get and for people who are close I have the tendency to push away. Thinking that people only want to be friends with me for my talents or what I am able to do. I am writing this comment to confirm you are not alone. I may not have experienced the same things you did. But there has been many times I have been in that dark hole, where I feel alone. In the end I just want to thank you for speaking up. It takes real guts to do that and I appreciate it.
This was a very interesting episode and I'm glad I've finally gotten to it. I can definitely relate to Aramau in dealing with the marvelous misadventures of mental illness. I also do understand the thought process of wondering what other people are thinking and assuming they have ill will towards oneself for whatever reason. I think a large part of it is assuming the worst-case scenario so you're prepared for it and don't get hurt. But this tactic does have far too many drawbacks to outweigh the positive because, before long, you start to assume the worst of the world and it seems less and less worth the trouble of even trying. The thing is, there are many people who make it a life dream or a goal to be happy or that they define success as happiness. Ironically, those who make it their goal to live a happy life are less likely to be happy in the end because happiness then no longer becomes an emotion that we feel in good times. It becomes attached to a goal or an object in the future. If we don't get that object, we think we don't get to be happy either. As you said, DrWolf, life is full of ups and downs and being constantly up isn't how life is supposed to go. We shouldn't be striving for happiness, necessarily, but a healthy balance between the good and the bad. It's okay to let yourself feel happy and it's also okay to let yourself feel sad.
I maybe can relate to Aramau. I have a lot of those thoughts myself. Also a lot of my friends left me too I am glad she felt like she could share this with all of us here on DRWolf's channel. Just know that doc, josh, blis, sweetie and many more will always love you and always be there for you. Also if you need someone to talk to that know where you're coming from I would be glad to talk to you. I got a lot out of this AMWDW. Thanks again both of you! Love you both! ^_^
......... Can someone....... Please.... Give this amazing mare 100 million huggles? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Aramau, you are awesome and amazing..... You are loved and deserve to be loved! Never forget that........ 💖❤💖🌸💕💕💞💕😘😊😄
3:43-3:50 I've had thoughts like these too, and usually I don't think that people actually do. And to avoid the possibility making people feel like their being forced to be near me i've even sat under the gym bleachers whenever I was in their with my class and other people I my school during events. And even though No one's been able to tell that I'm not ok and I can pass it off as my eyes watering when I cry, Under Gym Bleachers, Whispered words in your mind can become shouts and sharpen into knives only you feel. Ive felt these knives and usually im the one who ends up being the one who forged them.
Yay!!! New AMWDW
*watches* I didn’t think I would cry from this, but alas even this topic plucked some sensitive strings of mine. Oddly enough I’ve had a group of friends abandon me when my channel started growing, and with some hectic troubles with this year, I thought I would lose more. There is that lingering fear I suppose for me as well, but what helps me to cope are simple words my step dad told me. They seem to help me a lot so I’ll share them:
“Don’t worry about things that are outside your control, but do so for the things you can.”
Lightning Bliss HE SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD MAN😢.
Lightning Bliss I can relate a lot to Aramau
Dealing with anxiety and depression is never easy. What's worse is it's hard to talk about to someone unless you know that they have experienced it as well. I have dealt with it as well. And still deal with it, though not as much as I use too. The older I get the more I realize there is one person who is always available to talk. Yes I am referring to Jesus. I know what prayer is not an instant fix. But it does provide that extra level of comfort when there is nothing and no else to turn to.
natsu the brony slayer I don’t think this is the time or place to ask that
Lightning Bliss your stepdad is a wise man
I love our community. Whenever one of us is feeling down, or is having troubles, there is always at least somepony else willing to help them. Thank you for showing us this Dr. Wolf, thank you so much.
I agree, depression can make people feel troubled in their lives.
I understand the feeling
I relate so much to Aramau here. I just want to hug her after watching this.
Dr Wolf is the light in darkness at time like this 😊
Actually Arumau, I can relate with you, a lot, I have ADHD, and autism. And I felt my mom sometimes hate me despite the fact she loves me over others. I'm not perfect, and I can improvise, but even the smallest mistake can change my thoughts into negativity. But... the thing is I am actually one of the most happiest people in my family because I always have a happy face, despite the fact I have bad images throughout my life. And the worst part, I don't have many friends, since I always transfer schools. And Arumau, that's one of the reasons I wanted to be your friend, because I felt something between us, and this is it
I don’t think I’ve related to a AMWDW more than this. I’ve gone through similar experiences as Aramau and though those moments have passed I’m tormented by the thoughts of being worthless and unworthy of my own loved ones. My love and support goes to you aramau your strength and the help from your loved ones will get you through this. And hopefully for me too. 😊❤️
I can deeply relate to anxiety and depression holding me back and making me feel worthless.
This hit me on such a personal level that it felt like I was speaking to Dr. Wolf myself. I have so many of these same fears and anxieties that I have gone days feeling at my absolute worst because I'm scared that I'm being accounted for every little thing I do, and that it's some extravagant screw up that will cause me to loose my job, my husband, or my friends. I'm loud, talkative, very open about myself, and can be quite obnoxious if I'm not careful. I was picked on quite often in school so any friends I would make would often leave me for fear of getting the same abuse I was getting, so I was often left aone and vulnerable.
Watching this has helped me realize a couple of things I can do to help myself out of those times. I've also recently started an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety perscription while going to counsling. I'm 32. For anyone out there who thinks they are past getting help: It's never too late.
Aramau, I know how you feel. The fear of people leaving paralyzes me, and the fact I have anxiety and emotional outbursts, makes it worse. I’ve had people in my life leave me and not tell me why, I had people talk about how horrible I was behind my back, I couldn’t trust anyone. I still have friends, and I love them so much.
I worry about making friends beyond everything. I’m afraid that they will get tired of me, that they will see me is a horrible person, especially if I forget to do something. I’m scared of my anxiety and my depression, because it drove people away and made everyone mad at me, mad at myself especially.
I put too much expectations on myself, I eventually had to learn to cope with these thoughts, I eventually had to learn to talk about my problems, and I’ll be honest, I haven’t had a horrible thought like that in over two months give or take. I know that I will have bad days, everybody does. When those bad days come, there are things I can do.
You are so much stronger than you think. You are loved, you are respected, and you are important. We love you so much. I know you may hear this from time to time, but I think it’s important that you hear it every now and again ❤️
:( your not alone.
Tulop we’ll get through it one day at at a time ❤️
Well, I definitely have a lot of food for thought now. I can relate to a lot of what Aramau has gone through. Through freshman year of high school, I kept mostly to myself, thinking that I don't need friends. I have my family, that's all I need. Then one day during the next school year, I was invited over to a table during lunch, and it was awkward. I just kept silent while everyone else spoke. I figured this would be temporary and there was no point in getting to know these people. But then I was invited over again and this got me thinking that maybe they really wanted me to be part of their group. I was very nervous and a bit insecure, but I decided I'd sit with them from then on, asking myself what kind of harm could I possibly do? That was one of the best decisions of my life. These people became some of the greatest friends I ever had. From that point on through graduation, I was the happiest I'd ever been.
After high school, though, we went our separate ways. I wanted to keep in contact through Facebook and Skype, but for one reason or another, we stopped talking. One just outright stated that she didn't want to talk anymore, and another almost always happened to be out or busy when I called. The few times I did get ahold of her, she didn't have much time to talk. The rest, except for one, simply broke contact. The insecurity returned and I started questioning myself. "Did I do something wrong? Did they realize something about me they didn't like? Was it my fault that they didn't want to talk anymore?" These questions would occasionally surface over the next few years.
Then I moved on, or at least I tried. I made new friends, but the dynamic that happened and happiness I felt during high school was never truly recaptured. It came close, but not quite. I'm not disheartened, though. I know there's a brighter future ahead of me. I know there will be dark times, but when I can make them brighter, I will make them as bright as they can possibly get.
And Aramau, if you ever read this, I want you to know that you are loved and appreciated far more than you realize, no matter what.
I connected very strongly with this video. I once had an ex who suffers with depression and anxiety. She’s been dealing with these since she was very young. When we were together she made mistakes and after every single one of them she would tell me to break up with her. She was afraid that I would leave her for every mistake she made. She would constantly ask me why I was with her because in her mind I was perfect. But because of her depression she never saw the greatness in her.
She constantly thinks that I and all of her friends will betray her and leave her. Even though we’re not together anymore I’m still a good friend of hers and yet she still thinks that I will betray and leave her.
But what hit the most from her was that she never trusted me. Even when we were dating she never told me her problems. She would be in her worst mental state and not tell me what was up. But she would tell others about them. Not just one other person but almost the entire friend group but not me. I’m so happy Aramau could put herself out there and show it to the world. I wish other people could do that as well. But I know some people can’t talk about their problems because they can’t trust anyone. Not even their closest friends. And that saddens me. That people like my ex who are amazing people can’t tell others about their problems. It saddens me that the pressure put on them can drive so many to suicide and self harm.
Dr. Wolf has been my greatest inspiration for the better part of 4 years now. He’s help so many good people and has help me be a better person through watching his videos. He’s helped me see how I can help others. How I can see multiple points of view and multiple problems at once. This video and the one with keyframe (sorry if I misspelled) hit me the most. Because even though I may not be able to relate. I can use the lessons and messages given to help others. Just like what Dr. Wolf does.
*hugs Aramau* You are amazing just the way you are and don't ever let others tell you otherwise!
I had to pause the video for a few moments because I'm crying...Ive felt the same way and have been dealing with depression and anxitey for years now..enough that I don't want to socialize and isolate myself from others due to the fear that people will not like me due to my disability getting in the way. I feel the same way as you ama, those same fears..althou I'm too scared to go forward and go against the hurdles in life..im afraid of change. But this was very inspirational thank you so much for sharing your inner thoughts and thank you dr.wolf for helping people
That was thoughtful. I admit whenever I look to find friends or other relationships, I do feel like I'm just a dime a dozen. That I'm not important enough to them to hold their attention. Because of that, I spend hours thinking about my next response and just hoping whatever it is, I don't mess anything up. Like I'll say the wrong thing and drive them off. I believed as long a struggle like that keeps going, I haven't earned the right to be happy. Something good just happened, but I shouldn't enjoy it, because something bad will come along too. But after so many struggles, I just wanted to feel good, and I didn't want to wait until I was home, watching a cartoon or something to feel that way. I figured I could try and bring that feeling to the worst times, like when I'm working on a busy day. I just acknowledge there's always going to be bad days and remembering the good times helps us get through them.
Aramau.... I can totally relate. I've got so many problems that it's hard for people to "fix me permanently." I mostly suffer though with depression, anxiety, and ADHD constantly clashing with each other to the point of witch people think I'm ether bipolar or have multiple personalities disorder or MPD for short. Don't help that on a medical level I'm considered half blind legally and physically too. I found my one true escape however in the form of the incredible's movies and OH BOY DO I LOVE THEM! I love everything about them.......but then MLP came into my world while the wait for the sequel was happening and I loved it for different reasons. For one thing I'm extremely thick headed so it makes it hard for me to learn life lessons. This show helped with that, it also taught me more about colors and how there ARE various different shades and hues. Because of this I'm thinking of making a strange cross over fanfic. The work in title might delay it but this is what I got so far "The Incredible's Interdimensional!"
I can definitely relate, Ari. I had my own group of friends exclude and leave me without an explanation when I was young. Almost my entire family also left my faith, leaving me with feelings of abandonment, anxiety, and depression. It made things difficult for a long time. I still struggle sometimes in making new friends and still get angry with my family at times. But I've learned, as strange as it may sound, to enjoy both the highs AND lows of life. The lows stink. They stink BAD. But they do help me better appreciate when times are good when I work on having the right mindset. I do hope you get closer to the support system you need to get through these trials. There's nothing better than the comforting words of someone who loves you when you're feeling low. 💖💖💖
Aww Arie don't worry you not the only one who's felt like that, you're not alone in felling unworthy. Damn it I want to give you a hug!
"Dt. Pupper"
Well, that's the best thing I've heard all day.
Aramau, I know this feel. I've been afraid of losing friends as I've lost friends before too. I feared that I would become a person no one could love or appreciate. What helped me... or at least part of what helped me was realizing I've been who I am for my whole life. It isn't going to change so suddenly and to such an extreme degree. I had to take the time to remember this and eventually, I came to trust myself. It's not an easy process and it isn't painless. I still have my lows where melancholy slips in and I feel small, but it's gotten better. It's important to seek to become a better person, to improve. Out of fear of being alone, I took note of my flaws and what I was doing that would upset people; Instead, striving to be kind, to listen in hopes that someone would accept me for a friend. I still fear being alone or abandoned, but I'm not alone. So long as I make the effort to listen and pay attention to what I do while not being too self-critical, those who are doing the same, those who are true friends will find me, listen, and continue to be by my side. I can tell you care. That's a sign of a true friend. :3 I'm sorry you've gone through all this. Know that you're not alone *hugs*
Awesome; you managed to get Firebrand's secretary for a therapy visit. =)
I'm so sorry Aramau that those middle school kids did that to you. Especially since you really are a nice and cool person. Also, I understand how it feels to be picked on for being an oddball or a weirdo. However, over time you learn that those people are jerks and that their opinions do not matter and to trust who you are. Don't allow the jerks of the world to keep you down.
JESSICA FYLER THAT WAS MOVING, I WAS PICK ON TOO FOR BEING DISLEXIC AND FAT AND IT JUST HERTS YOU KNOW.
craze jax/orian star Y32 I know what you mean. Try not to let the jerks of the world keep you down.
JESSICA FYLER Dr. Wolf and finnthepony always make me feel better
Dr. Wolf you job is outstanding in my book you've take good care with these ponies
I'll be honest... I can strongly relate to everything she said I've been dealing with chronic depression for years I think maybe 6 maybe 8.... I don't know I lost count. I was never allowed to explore my feelings never felt sad or emotional or anything I was always told to get over them move past them ignore them a bunch of other things. I thought if I would just isolate how I felt and ignore it and just move past I would be okay. I was devastating wrong because now I've been dealing with a lot more. 3 years ago I decided to open up my emotions again and now that I'm facing them and expressing them I am confused I'm agitated and angry and I feel very lonely. Thankfully I have good friends and some family and my girlfriend who are there for me and try to help me out. I don't like to talk about my personal problems too much because I feel like no one cares and wants to hear and sometimes when I do talk about them I feel like I talk about them too much I just seems like the only thing I'm good for at the moment he's complaining about what I'm dealing with.
I have a lot going on in my life right now. Town of family drama, trying to start saving money so I can move out of state, I'm at the risk of losing my job if I make one more mistake. I'm dealing with certain physical pains. And now she more things. And my emotions being the way they are now is not helping me. A friend of mine recommended I go talk to a therapist and I try and get some kind of help because I feel like I'm falling apart. Part of me wants to go and talk to them but Another Part Of Me believes that it's a week to do so I have tried to be the strongest person in my life I tried to do so much to prove that I am strong and something like this makes me feel as if I'm nowhere near strong enough to carry the world's burden on my shoulders. People always look at me and they judge me don't expect anything from you in my life well mainly my family. A great majority of them looks down on me because of choices I made mind you it's nothing wrong I've always tried to take care of people and make sure my choice benefit many and many good ways but they still just look down on me and have a very small paint about me. I'm running out of options on what to do I'm running out of ideas I'm hurting. I just... I don't know anything anymore...
Machine Dragon Nero Always remember, you are loved unconditionally. There is one who knows your sufferings like no other. Never give up. Peace
th-cam.com/video/ETsUF1MQBLY/w-d-xo.html
Machine Dragon Nero same here I end up isolating myself from my friends as well
Machine Dragon Nero wow man, that's heavy
Love isn't limited. It's a limitless, unconditional thing that can be shared by any number of people. Don't give up. Things will get better. And speaking from personal experience, any situation can get better eventually. Just stay strong, and know that they love you. I think it's impossible to say that no one loves you, and that you shouldn't love yourself or anyone else because of it. But it's nice to hear that you've embraced your feelings, and I can only hope that things get better from the good place your at right now. Family can put unrealistic expectations on your life, but I feel that you just need to go talk to them, tell them how you feel, and I'm sure that things will get better. Every life has down points, and high points. Right now, you may be at a low point, but the roller coaster of life can only get higher from the lowest point.
Machine Dragon Nero jeez that’s really young to start depression. Must’ve been tough.
Its sessions like these that can help people and pony alike. Simply saying your mind to someone is a daunting task to many. Yet the result can be quite refreshing and even more so if it was toward a helpful friend or family member. I should know, I've seen many results first hand.
Awww...
I feel the same way sometimes too Aramau
Aramau I feel you in the anxiety. I suffer from general anxiety disorder too and when I know something is all in my head and worry excessively over things as well. I have a fear of failure and letting others down. I feel too obnoxious or too loud or too curious. I actually have never close friends last long until high school and college. And I still have fears that my best friend who I’ve know for about a decade now. I fear she’ll hate me over something I say that’s stupid. And I find out later she didn’t think much about it at all.
There is one hiccup here I wish there was more punctuation on sometimes you have to be sad, you have to cry or scream or reflect. It helps you grow as a person and learn how to deal with emotions. No one can be happy 100% of the time as it robs the sweetness from the moments of actual peace. I have depression and even I can say that my father is my awesome rock he doesn’t coddle me or ignore me. He lets me do what I need to get better with a patience I pray I can find in a partner one day. And as he loves to quote “this too shall pass”, the only constant is change and if you do it right then maybe change for the better.
Oof. It’s uncanny how much what happened here mirrors my own life. When I was in elementary and middle school I had several friends who eventually turned around and started joining the multitude of bullies who saw what an easy target I was. It didn’t help that a couple of my closest friends eventually transferred schools and I was left trying to make due without them. The fear and anxiety from those experiences and some at home ultimately drove me to isolate myself and just settle into a basic routine, settling for whatever mediocre result I could get instead of actively trying to shape my life. It’s a hole that, even now, I’m struggling to climb out of. But it’s good to see someone like you, Aramau, who has made it quite a ways further than I have at the moment, and know that it’s not insurmountable. If you can get as far as you have, then you can keep going and make it further. You’re a good person who is worthy of love, even in the times when it feels impossible to believe it.
Pretty cool Ari and doc the fact that this exist really makes me feel happy also I can relate way more to Ari now trust me Ari in more ways than one *I can relate to you Aramaru
Aramau, you are intelligent and adorable. Brand is lucky to have you.
Thanks for sharing fair maiden of the flames
You know this video really hit home for me, as it clearly did for so many others, I feel that way a lot as well but as Doc said I try not to let it control me. I try to focus on the positive rather than the bad. In light of that I just want to say I adored how Ari called the doc "my dear doctor pupper" that was a much needed giggle.
One of my biggest fears, apart from failure, is how people perceive me, so I can relate to this struggle of yours, Aramau. Whenever I am performing a task (and this was/is especially true during my training phase of my summer job), I find myself more focused on what people will think of me and my work, and not on the work itself, and that's where my screw-ups come from (I'm working on this and slightly improving, but man, is it hard). And when I screw up, no matter how trivial the mistake is, I feel like a complete flop of a human being, and I have essentially disappointed those around me. When panic situations occur, I completely shut down and become a deer in the headlights, so-to-speak. I'm a second-guesser, I fear the future, and I fear of the fact that I'm becoming an adult and I will soon be living on my own, making my own decisions, doing my own things, and having to take on challenges without my parents right beside me. Sure, I can call them for things, but once they're gone, that's it. I'm alone. At least for a while. And that terrifies me. It terrifies me that the mistakes I make then, large or small, are going to try and spin a web of self-doubt in my head and make me feel like I can't do anything right. It's rough. And I, too have the tendency to get over-emotional. In fact, on my second day of training at my summer job, I got home and burst into tears because I was terrified I wasn't going to be good enough. That I was going to completely fail at this job that my parents wanted me to have. They had to comfort me, and while some may find it silly that I did that, it's what happens when you're someone like me who worries so much about how the world sees you and what will happen to you if you mess up badly enough.
Thank you for this, both you and Doc. Perhaps one day I can discuss a topic of my own in that renowned office. I wish you good luck and good health, Aramau.
I feel your pain, Aramau; there are moments where I feel flashes of self-doubt and question my worthiness
sadlobster1 we've all been there
YA, WE ALL BING THERE.
It also doesn't help that I have special needs as well.
Granted, while it hasn't made me too much of an invalid. Growing up on a farm with more than capable parents and siblings has often been a blow on my self-esteem.
Especially when my father hopes for me and/or my younger sister to take over the place, should something happen to them
I know I’m going to sound like a jerk for saying this, but the fact that you talk about a topic this deep while in your avatars is actually pretty funny. I do feel bad for Aramau, but goddamn was it hard to try not to burst out laughing at this
I cried during this video. I just see so much of myself in Aramau in this video. When my friends left me, I felt like she did, like I was worthless, and I can only hope that things get better for her.
I can relate... with the mistakes... I know how it feels to have a mistake, and then someone comes along, we get into a fight... and then... they start to bring up old news, my old mistakes, and uses them to their advantage just so they can gain ground and... they can make me upset or just... ... ..
*hugs Aramau with all my might* It gets better Aramau. Even if it takes a while, it does get better. We are all here for you and love you very much....including Firebrand. I'm truly glad that you have such an amazing boyfriend in him, and i know he will treat you well. It's never wrong to feel anxious or depressed, because you will always have your friends and family to talk to, just like Firebrand and Doctor Wolf, whenever you feel down: we are all standing with you to the end of the line.❤💜💛💚💙💖
I know this feeling....I know a few Wonderful people ….However … I worry if I do anything or say anything wrong...They will leave . Even though I think this sometimes ...I know That even if I mess up they will stay with me because...They are like family..They *are* my family . I cant imagen a world without knowing them.
My respect and love (platonic) for Ari just skyrocketed.
As a long time follower of Christ this is one of those things where you can know all the right answers ,but its always the process of acting on them that is hard. i both empathize and sympathize with you on this struggle. stay strong, focus on the positives and know there are tons of folks who really dig what you do! ;)
A wise man once told me to doubt my doubts before I doubt my faith. Another wise man, more like adopted uncle, also told me “When your down, remember who you are. You are a child of the most high. You are a child of God.” Hope things continue to improve for you.
Dang this discussion hits my life on the nose. Granted I don't have a girlfriend but still... all the worries Aramau has and her thought processes are so fricking similar to mine. Heck even the coping mechanisms are similar. Dang it doc this hits way to close to home for me! Thanks for the awesome video.
I'm almost sure anyone can relate to what Aramau is feeling now. This is another very good topic you've touched base on. This episode is so well done and I really feel this will be of great help to many who are having the same trouble as Aramau. Aramau is not alone, she is a good person. Firebrand is very lucky to be with her. Thank you Doc for bringing this topic to our attention. :)
The feeling of being worthy is a wonderful thing which is why do many people want it. Lord knows I try to be a good daughter, a good friend, and a good girlfriend. I can see where Aramau is coming from when she says she questions her worthiness. I doubt myself from time to time and wonder if I really deserve to be here.
I hope we can all find that peace of mind that helps us get through our problems of the day/week/month
...I just wanna hug her
Oh Aramau. If you are a hugging pony, I offer you a whole bouquet of hugs. I have anxiety and depression (had them for years) and they feed into each other so everything you said I could relate to in one way or another.
Damn, Doc. This one hit so close to home it crashed into my living room.
i can really relate to this bc i was always an introvert n wasn't into girly stuff, gossip, or drama n was always mature for my age even in elementary school so making friends was hard for me or i had to pretend to be someone i wasn't. In a family full of extroverts n my interest in things like anime, comics, n cartoons i didn't feel complete there either this lead to anxiety n me bottling up all my feels, as the oldest, the most mature, and most of the time the one w/ the highest grades i thought i had to be the perfect daughter all the time n this drove a huge rift inside of me i sometimes though this is it today is the day i crack n attack someone for even the smallest of reasons. I always had a strong bond w/ my mom be we have practically nothing in common so it was hard to talk to her about my problems n she was a single parent so when she wasn't working she i thought she'd be too tired to listen to my problems when she had her own.
i just want to hug her!!!
I feel you Ari. I’ve honestly felt like that every day for about three and a half years. Can I give you a hug?
Aramau, thank you for being willing to share your feelings like that. God alone knows how many other people are going through the same thing, yet are suffering in silence. I hope that whoever is listening here learns something. Also, I hope that you yourself are able to cope when those negative feelings come.
There is a song that I know of that might help. It's called "You're Not Alone "by Richard Smallwood. When you have the time, why not give it a listen?
I can kind of relate to you, Aramau.
Even devout Christians like the Apostle Paul have gotten like this. You'd think with the Gospel and all that "faith, hope, and love" stuff we'd always be happy, right? Nope, not necessarily. Soren Kierkegaard once said, "life is a suffering", and I'm prone to agree. But to paraphrase what you pointed out Doctor Wolf, "without struggle, growth is impossible."
As such Ms. Aramau, I have something to share, if you'll be so kind as to hear me out: sorrow too can be a gift from God. I am sorry for what happened, it's not right how those kids treated you, and I do wish there was an easy solution to all this, but there's not. I don't want to start a war here with anyone, but, the great thing about Jesus is, He showed me that even though I know am worthless on my own (that is, apart from His grace and guidance), still I am loved, not because of what I am, but in spite of it. "A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench" (from Isaiah 42:3, KJV), and again "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as [*]have a contrite spirit [*literally "are crushed in spirit"]" (Psalm 34:18, NKJV). Josh and the others should be proof enough of that to you. He's a Christian, right? So, have him preach the Gospel, from the heart, preferably face-to-face and with at least the audio recorded so you can at least hear it from his mouth whenever you need to. Not gonna lie, it'll still hurt, but...it should help a bit at least too. Isaiah 53 and Romans 7 should help too if you're interested. Just my two probably insignificant cents on the matter, but I hope they help. I've got my own tantabus to face, and I don't want to barge in where I don't belong or speak out when it's not my place. God bless and hang in there, Ms. Aramau.
I suffer from this exact same issue, assuming or at least fearing people will see me the way *I* see me. And my inner critic is *utterly* merciless. I just always feel like this weird, worthless outsider who doesn't really belong anywhere.
I remember in middle school my best friend moved away and then the following year my next closest friend started to shun me for no apparent reason. I ended up closing myself off. It took forever and a kitty for me to learn how to open myself back up, but recently my sister and I have gotten onto many fights. Then last month she told me she hates and that I was part of the reason she nearly committed suicide. I don't even know what I did. Because of that I've closed myself off again, nearly committing suicide myself. It took a cat to talk me out of it. I am doing better now, but like Aramau said, those thoughts never really leave.
I feel your pain. In my experience though one needs to love themselves...truely, unequivocally, love themselves.
It starts by forgiving your mistakes
Accepting that you will make new ones...
Then do what YOU love.
Do it with all your heart...
Then you begin to heal, and the doubts...arent as strong...there still there but it's a long process...
OH MY CELESTIA!
This almost perfectly describes how I feel about depression and anxiety
Thank you Aramau and Dr. Worlf
This has helped me to better understand myself, thank you
At around 13:24 there is a single frame where Aramau is out of existence.
I know the feeling sometimes I do get that worried feeling on my mind with alot of my friends, especially my past mistakes I felt it still happen recently then a year ago and if I do make one worried if I did so many and lose my friends, sometimes I feel some of them dont want spend time but I know it's not true just hate this feeling
Boy I can relate to Ari right now.
I'm not even half way through the video and all I want to do is give Ari a hug.
Ari you don't need to worry everyone cares about you and you can tell us anything we will understand okay
I’m sorry you feel this way. You’re amazing to share this
Thankfully I only have anxiety and not also depression. Especially since I'm usually the rock for others when they're feeling down. I can very very much relate, though, to many of those feelings. The irrational fears, the lack of control of your own emotions... it's one of the hardest things I have to deal with. Thankfully I have wonderful friends who are usually there with me to keep my confidence bolstered.
I can relate to those with depression and anxieties. I also feel unworthy of love and friends with how, as much as I hate to admit it, childish I tend to be. Sorry if I'm rambling or venting where I shouldn't. :(
OMG! Ari & Doc! This is some Avengers level shit!!! 🤣
Thanks, Doc. Thanks, Aramau. You are wonderful :)
Right now I feel little bit of mid-life crisis that my life isn't going the way I want to go or that I'm feeling left behind everyone around me, I try to accomplish small projects one at a time or remind myself that I don't need to compare myself with everyone.
yes, yes it is..... 12:42
The only way so far that I can explain that phenomenon of 'filing that I'm not good at the task's I perform' is that I fill that I could do so much better then what I did for that task. Especially when I get praise for it, it makes me fill that there trying to make me feel good about myself instead of telling me the truth.
I agree that practice is the way to go in this case.
Its probably just me, I feel that the advice was confusing for this situation although there was a moment wear it made much sense I don't want to put you down you are trying to understand which is good.
I've just given up on caring on people i don't know a long time ago.
Only ever had a few friends when that dwindeld away i never build up anything else.
That art style is ADORABLE!
Aramau, I truly understand ur anxiety and ur pain, and I can't thank u both enough for making this, u made it just at the perfect time in my life
Thank you for this video. I struggle with this too. Especially at this job. An employee always looks at me, scowls me, and even blames me for not doing something right. I tell the others and my manager, but they say to brush it off, have to be strong, even learning that she was raised differently. Apparently her parents must of yelled at her too or judge her harshly or something. But they say those things over again and she still looks at me harshly. Makes me want to quit because of her, she treats me like I am not good enough. Your not alone
This is cute and moving at the same time.
Very relatable episode.
I know a lot people on Deviant art who have anxiety issues and stuff. I just my best to be a good friend and give comforting words. Even I suffer anxiety sometimes. But I try to be positive.
Outstanding Aramau and Dr. Wolf
God I relate to this way too much...
If people can't accept you for who you are, then their the ones that don't deserve to be your friends. I think that a lot of the time, the biggest reason there's conflict is because people don't talk. You have to discuss things before the little problems get out of hand. And sometimes, people just can't accept things the way they are, and feel like things that don't need changing do, when in reality, you just need to let go and allow things to happen. I think that in the end, Amaru has good friends and a good boyfriend. I feel that she should try to be her best self for them, and if they can't see how amazing she is, then she should let it go, and try her best to move on. It's not her fault that all her friends were super rude to cut her out of her friend group because she wasn't super fashionable.
I've dealt with these types of people before, so I can relate, but you have to pick yourself back up, and find a way to be happy. I used to be a temperamental person, because of something that happened to me, and I lost control of my strength, and one day, all my friends told me that I wasn't worth their time, and to stay away from them. I went home crying, but I realized something. I don't have to change a thing. I got new friends, and I learned that if your friends decide to kick you out of their group instead of helping you through your problems, then their not worth your time. I learned to control my temper and strength with the help of another good friend, and it was better the second time. When I found a friend that actually cared about me, I found that it was a better experience to help me deal with my problems.
You just have to realize that things happen, people can't always accept you for who you are, and you need to be able to open yourself up again to other people, when a good friend comes around. Because from my experience, a good friend always comes around. Just don't be too closed off, because being a friend is comforting your friends when they need help, and the reason for having a friend is having a shoulder to cry on when things go wrong. And sometimes, they can help you through it.
I wish I couldn't relate to Ari... but I kinda can.
Back in my early years of elementary school I made a friend I completely clicked with. He and I were pretty much joined at the hip, we were that inseparable.
Then, around 3rd grade, I think it was, my memory isn't exactly the best, I met up with him during recess... and as soon as I called out "Hello", he shouted at me to go away. When I asked why he just said it again... so I did, wondering what I could've done wrong to make him so angry with me.
Later that day I learned from my Home Room teacher that a member of his family had recently died.
I realized he must've just been hurting, so I forgave him for lashing out at me... but it was already over.
No matter how many times I tried to hang out with him again, at first to try help him and after... it just wasn't the same.
He didn't seem to care about me anymore... and that hurt. It took til the next year and my 4th grade teacher to get me to try making friends with anyone again.
That pain was still there, though. Every time I saw him outside of class (we were never in the same classes after 3rd grade), be it chatting with his other friends or own his own... it hurt, remembering how he'd just ended our friendship without warning and never even tried to say anything after. He just wrote me out of his life.
I don't think I ever truly got over that. Heck, this is really the first time I've thought of it in years... but it still hurts, remembering how it felt that day.
And it wasn't the last time I was written out of a friendship without even being told.
Just a few years ago I had a coworker who was always talking about how bad MLP and the fandom are... and not long after I broke and told him I was a Brony, especially when it was him bad mouthing the fandom for so long that got me curious enough to look into it to see if his words had any weight to them, he decided we weren't friends anymore... but didn't even tell me for almost a year, until it was a few days before he'd be leaving for other work.
He didn't even tell me for almost a year that we weren't friends anymore, leaving me thinking we still were for all that time.
Good video DrWol001! I have anxiety and depression but my friends and family help me to get better though the years. I hope you will feel better drwolf and aramau.
Very relatable. Excellent job Doc and Aramau
im glad this topic was addressed as this is a tricky one bit i think you did it well and i will share this with others who need the advice well done
That was really touching. I get that feeling of unease, making and having friends. Most of my "friends" stopped interacting with me completely over the summer holidays, right before we were going to start our 6th out of 8 years of secondary school together. The only one who still talked to me afterwards had moved, so there wasn't really anyone I could talk to. Now I've accepted that they have never actually been my friends and I don't really remember that many good things about them anyways thanks to SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory). In the past year I've moved on and found some actual friends, whose mental ages are more my mental age than my body's age, so talking to them is way more interesting anyways :D
Mine basis off dealing with perfection, pass that. Im good, fight hard, live long
I understand Aramau's struggle with anxiety, and the ways we create to cope with it. Sometimes those methods aren't the healthiest and are just ways to let everything bottle and fester inside us. But hopefully we can all develop better methods of dealing with anxiety.
I want to thank you two for talking about this. It is surprising how close to home it hit me. Sadly I would not know how it is for friends to gang up on you as I did not have many friends who grow up with me. I still do not. Being an introvert has it's disadvantages. Feeling not worthy for the praise I do get from those I do get and for people who are close I have the tendency to push away. Thinking that people only want to be friends with me for my talents or what I am able to do. I am writing this comment to confirm you are not alone. I may not have experienced the same things you did. But there has been many times I have been in that dark hole, where I feel alone. In the end I just want to thank you for speaking up. It takes real guts to do that and I appreciate it.
This was a heavy episode. I really feel for Aramau.
Absolutely phenomenal.
Excellent session Doctor Wolf
This was a very interesting episode and I'm glad I've finally gotten to it. I can definitely relate to Aramau in dealing with the marvelous misadventures of mental illness. I also do understand the thought process of wondering what other people are thinking and assuming they have ill will towards oneself for whatever reason. I think a large part of it is assuming the worst-case scenario so you're prepared for it and don't get hurt. But this tactic does have far too many drawbacks to outweigh the positive because, before long, you start to assume the worst of the world and it seems less and less worth the trouble of even trying. The thing is, there are many people who make it a life dream or a goal to be happy or that they define success as happiness. Ironically, those who make it their goal to live a happy life are less likely to be happy in the end because happiness then no longer becomes an emotion that we feel in good times. It becomes attached to a goal or an object in the future. If we don't get that object, we think we don't get to be happy either. As you said, DrWolf, life is full of ups and downs and being constantly up isn't how life is supposed to go. We shouldn't be striving for happiness, necessarily, but a healthy balance between the good and the bad. It's okay to let yourself feel happy and it's also okay to let yourself feel sad.
This is so sad about aramau and I feel it
Great stuff doctor fluffy💚☺️💚
Been a while since I've attached myself to an episode this much.
Ow. ^^;
I love you Aramau, I feel you
2:52 that's what my older brother does to us. I know of everything you've said. I feel just like you.
*hugs
I maybe can relate to Aramau. I have a lot of those thoughts myself. Also a lot of my friends left me too I am glad she felt like she could share this with all of us here on DRWolf's channel. Just know that doc, josh, blis, sweetie and many more will always love you and always be there for you. Also if you need someone to talk to that know where you're coming from I would be glad to talk to you. I got a lot out of this AMWDW. Thanks again both of you! Love you both! ^_^
......... Can someone....... Please.... Give this amazing mare 100 million huggles? 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Aramau, you are awesome and amazing..... You are loved and deserve to be loved! Never forget that........ 💖❤💖🌸💕💕💞💕😘😊😄
3:43-3:50 I've had thoughts like these too, and usually I don't think that people actually do. And to avoid the possibility making people feel like their being forced to be near me i've even sat under the gym bleachers whenever I was in their with my class and other people I my school during events. And even though No one's been able to tell that I'm not ok and I can pass it off as my eyes watering when I cry, Under Gym Bleachers, Whispered words in your mind can become shouts and sharpen into knives only you feel. Ive felt these knives and usually im the one who ends up being the one who forged them.