Phrases that STRESS autistic ppl out PART 1
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ต.ค. 2024
- Download my 🟣 🟡 FREE Ultimate Guide to Understanding Autism 🟡 🟣 HERE 👉: taylorheaton.g...
🙀🌟 RESOURCES 🌟🕺
💻 ONLINE COURSE How to Unmask: Cultivating Your True Autistic Self: www.momonthesp...
🕺Join an Autistic Connection Group: www.momonthesp...
💪 How to Unstuck-ify Your Life (PDF): taylorheaton.g...
📒 Meltdown Survival Guide: www.momonthesp...
🗂 FREE Big Autistic Resource Guide (BARG): taylorheaton.g...
🖥 Mom on the Spectrum website: www.momonthesp...
More Mom on the Spectrum Videos: / momonthespectrum
❤️ 🧡 💛 MY FAVORITE THINGS 💚 💙 💜
ONO Fidget Roller (affiliate link): bit.ly/3xLZnQY (use code: MOMONTHESPECTRUM for 10% off at checkout)
Flare Earbuds for Sensory Overwhelm (affiliate link): www.flareaudio...
Manta Weighted Sleep Mask (affiliate link): bit.ly/3n3l64I (use code: MOMONTHESPECTRUM for 10% off at checkout)
Weighted pillow (affiliate link): www.onequietmi... (Use code: MOMONTHESPECTRUM for 15% off your order)
MUISTA CHAIR: muista.eu/?ref... Use Discount Code: TAYLOR7
💃⭐️ FIND ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA 🤠🎶
Instagram: / taylor_heaton_
Tiktok: / taylor_heaton_
📬 BUSINESS ADDRESS:
Taylor Heaton
8901 Tehama Ridge Parkway, Suite 127
PMB 680
Fort Worth, TX 76177
📧 Business inquiries: info@momonthespectrum.life
👏🏻 FREE 👏🏻 WAYS TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT 🦾
🟥 SUBSCRIBE to the channel
🟧 LIKE the videos that are helpful to you
🟨 COMMENT in the comment section
🟩 Click the “bell” to be notified when I release new videos
DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, TH-cam Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, TH-cam channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿
You are a beautiful person worthy of love!
#latediagnosedautistic #momonthespectrum #autisticadult
went from "come on how bad could it be?" to "call an ambulance" real fast
😂😂😂❤❤❤❤
Lol me too!!
IKR!! 😂
“Well, a cool fact about me is that I hate icebreakers”
Cool fact about me: I love icebreakers with clear rules. They help me connect with people.
Oh my gosh I'm using this!
Using this too!
That's not an icebreaker, that's intimidating
@@leilachristie1861 I would never actually say this, but I do THINK it 😅
I was literally like "noooooooooo" my response to that is usually "what do you want to know?"
What's really frustrating is when they go "oh I don't know, just something" & they aren't actually interested in engaging in the first place. Then I just word vomit anyway knowing full well they don't actually care XD
Same! 🙂
@@StarWonder 😭
😱 THANK YOU! I just hope this works when I try to use it.
Literally had this convo with a friend earlier... and I'm not autistic! It's such a stupid question!
that's why I love people who request specific information in stuff like introductions in a group.
"tell me your name, your ___, and your ___." is so much better than "tell me your name, and something interesting about yourself."
My body tensed soon as you said it.
Right?!
Mine too.
The corporate company I work for often has “icebreaker” topics to start our team meetings. I’m so grateful when they give us a heads up to what the icebreaker topic will be so I can come up with something before hand.
It’s much better than info dumping about my favorite podcast, or telling everyone how all my friends are from the internet.
❤❤❤😂❤❤❤
The job I recently started made me fill out an entire sheet about myself. They asked my favorite everything, what super power I would have, and how I'd like to be recognized (I wouldn't, by the way). I was so stressed filling it out that I'm pretty sure none of my answers were accurate and I couldn't even think of a song title in English so I said my favorite song was Hua Le Ji, because everyone has heard of that, clearly. Then they said, something you should know about me is: and I felt like I had a redemption arc because I answered, "I'm not good at answering questions about myself." 😌
I’d end up lying on purpose because “They don’t need to know that! They don’t even know me!”
I'm sorry, that's nunyabizness! But I never think of that in time.
My last job had me do one of those. I stressed over it for ages, filled it out and apparently put it in my locker and never turned it in. Found it years later.
HR should know better than to ask invasive ice breaker questions in 2024. Push back when you can. Whether one is autistic or 'just introverted', moronic questions should not be forced on anyone really for the sake of social convention and contrivance.
Unfortunately, HR often does not know about prying into personal lives. I think we need to prepare ourselves with stronger boundaries and scripts we can insert into situations calmly. "In the workplace, my superpowers are punctuality and a sense of responsibility." "I share my favorite songs with my friends. I prefer to keep the workplace professional." Repeat that last one for each question that is prying into your personal life.
"When I do a job I focus on that job. My responsibility is to fulfill tasks to the best of my ability in a timely manner. Favorite foods, songs, colors, while pleasant topics during off-hours, should have no bearing on my suitability for this position.
Oh boy... you're right... that's stressful because now I have complete permission to infodump about my special interest, which is video games, and they may not like me going nonstop about skyrim, fallout 4, ark, and many, many more choices... and sometimes I get so stressed and just say "I like video games..." and then que the awkward silence because I can't get anything out of my mouth because I might be exhausted from the whole day...
Things that stress autistic people out: Having information delivered in small fractions, part 1 of n.
1 of 2.
me: ‘’ehmmm *brain stops working* my name is jeff’’
🤣🤣🤣 this is it. This is the comment that broke me. Lmaooooo.
@@elfinshell4758 you’re welcome 😆
That’s the worst 😩 I suddenly know NOTHING about myself
Ugh vague questions like that are so frustrating!
One I get at work every day is “How are you doing?” I’m never really sure because I’m feeling many things, including nothing at all. But I don’t want to sound negative all the time.
When you can feel the smile leaving your face, lol.
I get that it is something that is supposed to lead to further conversation and connection with those you aren't familiar with, but dam vague open ended questions are my nemesis
I RECOILED when you said that!!!
A little about myself... a little... *insert wall of text & subsequent TLDR response* 🤭🤣💙♾️💙
Somehow the only job interview question I’m NEVER prepared for 😭
Yep! My head just blows up when I’m asked this 😅🤯
How much is too much?? O God now I’m staring into space while scripting my response. Does that make me look strange? “I LIKE TRACTORS”….. fuck
Hey tractors are really cool. It's not the machine I find most interesting, but damn if they aren't something underappreciated...
@@Armament0fJusticeagreed. The versatility when you get into compatible attachments makes me happy. One machine many uses.
lol
😂
Do you mean farm tractors or backhoes?
"I could tell you about a number of obscure science things that you probably will never have use for..."
Btw, volcanic eruptions can cause lightning; most calico cats are female unless they have a specific genetic mutation; sapphires and rubys are made of mostly the same element compounds; and a sink directly on the equator will drain without spinning.
I am glad to have read & learned these facts. Thank you & I appreciate you!
@@JustinaBreest you're welcome. They're like science facts that you'd hear a teacher use to try and make a kid want to learn, but if they were a step further in depth. Lighting is caused by friction in ice particles making static electricity, volcanoes have a lot of static potential with the eruption dust. Calico fur patterns are a side effect of the fur color being determined by the X chromosome; male cats usually only have one, so they can only be Calico if they are born with an extra x chromosome. Draining water spins because of the Earth's rotation; the further north or south of the equator you are, the less balanced the force is on the water and it will spin based on that. The push is equally distributed on the equator.
Edit for a correction: the spin of a drain is usually caused by other factors, but the difference in hemisphere IS a thing called the coriolus effect. It just tends to be incredibly subtle. The direction of your drain's spin might be from other factors.
Sapphires and rubies...? Like in Steven Universe, awww
@@kellyb261 Sapphires are made of aluminum and oxygen (2 Aluminum atoms per 3 Oxygen atoms). A ruby are made of the same, but have chromium mixed in to a greater degree than what other sapphires might have. The gems are both classified as corundum.
10/10 would hang out with you for the rest of the party.
This phrase is a common stressor period
My heart stopped. Then, an answer I actually gave to that question once came into my head: “I love rocks.” 😳🤦♀️
To be fair, I have a entire 20lb drawer of rocks I've collected. It's an entirely valid response, imo.
I love rocks too. I get that everyone's got their own thing, but like how can people not be fascinated with all the compressed HISTORY they contain? Like, that's wild! I'm holding history in my hand when I pick up a rock 🤯 That will never cease to amaze me. And they are so varied and pretty!
This made me laugh!
Perfect answer!
I love my rocks too! They are so quiet and unassuming, and pretty!
Thank you, Gaia❣️🕯️🙏🤗
I was homeschooled. I went to community college to be dual enrolled at 16. I'm. Really sorry to everyone who had to listen to me info dump about my special interest. Everyone who had a class with me knew I was really really into Irish step dancing.. I really didn't know what I was supposed to do, so... That's what they got. No experience masking and I was used to being considered weird and didn't care🤣 I also made my bridal party watch some while drunk for my bachelorette lmao. Not me dancing. I'm not that vain. This kid in a documentary who got 1st at World's. He's really freaking good....
Honey you do not have to apologize for sharing what's interesting to you. I think it's awesome that you care about the other person but what we need more in this world is being able to truly listen and care. You wouldn't think badly of someone who shares openly like you, why would it be ok to think badly of you ?
For too long the situation has been portrayed as we sharing too much or being too sensitive. How about looking at how people have difficulty listening and having empathy or are being too insensitive? Both aspects are part of the situation. For those who have difficulty listening the other will be too much it does mean they are
every aspect so true ! i also love the disclaimer that you are not talking about EVERYONE ! some people take every thing so personal,,i always tell these types that unless if their name is used, they are not talking about you..
My interviewing nightmare 😂 I hate when they ask that, and, “describe yourself in 3 words”.
My go to is usually "Like what??"
Omg 100% agree. "Like, buckle up buttercup, once you enter these temple gates there is no going back" 😂😂😂
"Get ready 'cus you're not gonna like it" That's an understatement 😂
"I'm here in case you need support ". Drives me crazybwhen supervisors say that
Even if “friends” or the other parents say, “Let me know if you need anything, or if there’s anything I can do to help.” I can never think of anything to ask for or ever feel comfortable calling and asking even if I did.
I can never understand that question 😘 The first thing I think about when I hear it is 'What are they expecting me to say?' 'Could the person be more precise? ..
'Maybe give a more direct question, what is it that they're actually curious about?' As a Autistic person my mind goes blank and I just think 'Help me out here please? Could you be a.....
..little more direct what is it that you're actually inquiring about? 💗 Those are the very things that come to mind when it's not a job- interview but meeting someone for the first time 🙂💕 xoxox
I went from, "give me your worst!" To, "oh God I've made a horrible mistake, take it back!"
I'm a grown man in his mid forties, and that example hit so perfectly well that I went "ah!"-[giggle chuckle sound] and sorta did this backpedaling motion, picking up my feet like I just stepped barefoot on an unswept floor. I didn't expect that! 😅
Haha the disclaimer. I love you for that, because I know the flack you get. Love to you! ❤
I usually take that as an opportunity to see wether or not they are worth my time.
🌟 👉 Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Understanding Autism here: momonthespectrum.life/guide 🥳
YES!
It feels like torture when they ask me this.
I just went into fight or flight mode. 😂
Instantly! What!?! Tell you about me?!?! I don’t even know!?!
part of me thinks job interviews shouldn't exist, that we should find a different way to determine fit.
Aaaaauuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh, like WHAT!!? 😂
Good one.
"How about I tell you the entirety of Ninjago lore instead?"
I’ve been going through interviews recently. I have a prepared response, but I still twitch internally at the, “Tell us about yourself” question.
I absolutely hate getting asked that, cuz my answer is always like "Uhm.. Huh? Oh.. I dunno.", and yes.. I'm autistic.
So true. Like tell you about what? My education? My special interest? What I like to eat? My masking? That question is just soooooo vague!
FRRRR LIKE WTF DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY 😭
The nice thing about these icebreakers is that there are only really a few of them, so i can prep a response.
Depending on context and if I'm feeling saucy I'll go with:
1. Well, i was born on a cool early summer morning. That's something about my little self.
2. I have never eaten a watermelon whole.
3. You know when you need something done and your friend says, "i know a guy." Well, I'm that guy to someone's friend.
😝 one of my favorite memes: i hate it when people are like "tell me about yourself :) ." what do you want like my trauma or my favorite color let's be specific..
I just have a speel about my special interests adjusted for all the normies that I update from time to time. Works like a charm.
“Apparently I’m going to need to find a new job”
UGH YES! I never know what to say!
YES. What do you wanna know? How much can I cover with this vague question?
God, it's so stressful
I nearly spat out a mouthful laughing and relating to this! 😂
"Tell me about yourself" gets you a LinkedIn bio
I have a script for this one! Regardless of the context I say what town I’m from, where I went to college and what I studied, and what my job is. It’s usually clear that that’s not what they meant, but I answered the question without stumbling and if they want something more specific then they can communicate that!
I braced myself as good asI could, but that one still hit hard.
I guess the only thing I could say after that is that I love cats and then my mind'll go blank.
Growing up I always hated that question & never knew why I’d be so relieved to not be asked first in a group setting as listening to others before me I’d get a clue what to say
I used to feel very uncomfortable with this question but now I love it because it’s my chance to talk about the random thing I’ve been wanting to talk about all day 😂
For me its the way a person says / ask me with the look on their face. I feel like they are already judging me because it happens every time or leaning forward. Just have to explain who I am is painful because I'm different and people are trying to figure me out . I'm there saying really I'm just like you we all have differences and we all just need to give empathy because we've all been through some type of h3ll in this world. Struggles are real and we are all do our best
Something about myself? BOY HOWDY now you get all of my special interests dumped on you🥰
“Do you want me to start from birth, or just an overview since college, or just my favorite color or what????? Heeellllpppp!”
I don’t know why you want me to tell you that but here you go, *leans in to whisper in your ear* “A little something about yourself”
Unspoken response:
“You won’t like what you hear.”
I panic when people ask me "what's your favourite...?"
How much or how little do you want to know? Do you want something deep or superficial? Will you judge me for the thing I say, or are you simply collecting information?
These are the questions that run through my mind when I hear that phrase.
I gotta remember this!
It gets me off the hook to really answer, and makes them uncomfortable. Turnabout’s fair play.
Dang, it made my heart drop into my stomach!
If you ask me to tell you about myself, you are giving me explicit permission to go on a 10 hour rant about why I love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles so much, which will eventually lead into Lego Monkie Kid, which will eventually become Murder Drones, and you get the picture
I reply: “What do you mean? about me at work? about my private life, my hobbies or my character? ”
"Would you like to be specific? I don't want to ramble on."
These days I'd probably get straight into self disclosure, parenting or... some version of my life history, my academic failure, contrasts to my family that ends up sounding like name dropping, my underexolored LGBT side, my faith, my politics and activism, my conflicts, being 26yrs married having waited but always been liberal in upbringing and position. All of this gets me into its own awkward reaction set, from others and myself and the way things follow on. Or I mention that I write poetry and do songwriting and lately improv in a low key way. Another awkward one, though theoretically more neutral.
I should probably just say "I'm extraordinary in good and bad ways but a lot depends on your perspective and how well you know me!" Might head stuff off at the pass But I don't know if I always can carry it off, I don't really know what happens after that and if it's any better.
People tend to be a bit intense and have certain expectations or set ideas that go one way or another, dismissive or negative self comparison, or rude, or OTT sympathy starting to make me a project or icon of something.
Worrying about disclosing too much and my speech and about perception management and about perception management as an indicator of personality disorders..
And my nature and science interests, sound a bit disconnected and just pure geek, scattered.and confused in the telling.
Social media life as well.
me trying to choose a random fact about myself, starting with my date of birth through the last 50 years of my life... *staring off into space for an awkward amount of time going through my life's experiences trying to choose one*
My family member smiled and liked that!
I literally wrote out a phrase I could say that n one breath and then excuse myself to go to the bathroom … yeah… not wrong !!!! But sometimes if I like someone they are warm and welcoming I feel safe I give them my whole life story on accident …
I always end up saying I’m really bad at talking about myself
Taylor: be cool
Me (never cool a day in my life): I'm stressed out already...
I cant talk but not about myself unless I trust you and know exactly what you want to know
💯!! Especially when online dating. I consider it a lazy question. Come on, ask me something specific!
Yeah that's the quickest way to make my mind go blank
lol I thought the first thing “please be cool” was one of the things! Lolololol 😅
I was just talking to my husband about this and he could NOT understand why that stresses me out so much 😅 like duuude, BE SPECIFIC! WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW????
Also, "can you call to order the food" or "leave a voicemail"
I was showing my autistic wife your videos, and she said, "You know what stresses me out? She says "phrases" that stress autistic people out and then only gives one phrase." 😂 Classic
I was looking for the (some) then verbal disclaimer 😊
As an autistic person, I die in the inside when I’m in crowded places, whether it’s small or big!😵💫
I told "I have little hands" once😌
😂 I started college a few weeks ago and I panicked when they started asking that
I had always answered with a list of cool Maker projects I've done. But recently I realized I build cool Maker projects to draw attention away from myself, and to have things to talk about.
I've also discovered that some groups of people don't find cool Maker projects to be interesting. In these groups, I totally lock up and can't function.
And now I realize, these are groups of NT folks.
What cool projects are those, you might ask?
I built a water fountain on fire for Burning Man, I built a studio for neon/plasma sculpture, I built technology parts of a cocktail robot called the Tikitron, I built out a Victorian Tea Parlor into a junkyard Tesla including Tea Boiler and Scone Baker. I also worked at Pixar long ago, and was a contestant on Junkyard Wars twice.
My current special interest is transferring my CG skills to game development - I want to make a game that is a an interactive art gallery.
... Like what do you mean? What's the context? What's appropriate to share? What's our relationship? Why do I need to give personal information to a stranger?! YES, this stresses me out a ton...
the way I immediately locked up and went NOOOOOOO!!! 💀💀💀
its not even that I don't have things to say, they're always "weird" facts, about my niche special interests, or aren't considered "age appropriate"-- so nothing feels like its the right answer 😭 Like I'm sorry, I really do collect art dolls and still obsessively play pokemon, idk what you want from me LMAO
That makes MANY people stressed out.
OH BOY. That got me good. Glad to know I'm not the only one who has a brain crash when asked that.
Like... Please give me a more specific question and I'll be glad to answer...!!!
I always end up saying I’m really bad at talking about myself 😅
Was sitting in an 8th grade art class. Art teacher is like "draw your favorite anime character". Me, glad that I'm not an 8th grader, "oh heck no".
"tell me a little something about yourself" invites the entire 1000psi Waterhose... get blasted by the whole life story.
Oh, this stresses ANYONE out 😂 Fucking teachers and interviewers 😡
I felt a shock wave through my whole body just then
My answer is always with a shoulder shrug , “I don’t know”. Then I feel dumb from the mind blank.
my instant, visceral response, "fck off"
"Tell me more about yourself" I hate that phrase so much
Okay. I Will casually tell you every aspect of my life that my brain deems significant to the development of my personality…. So like all parts of my life to date.😅
"Tell me something about yourself."
Me: I'm autistic.
Every interview ever. 🙄
On the first interview I had a long time ago, this question was asked, and I gave a brief history of my life- I gave the highlights from moving around as a child, going to another part of the country, and then the steps that brought me to that interview. I got the job.
I realized after the fact that the "correct" answer was to highlight my professional skills. 🤦🏼♀️ However, now I'm super self-conscious about saying too much or too little, so I do worse on interviews.