I'm just about 8 full months off Diazepam, after taking it for just over 10 years. Doctor took me off them cold turkey, and I'm in pure hell, day by day. Listening to people like Phil give me hope that one day I will be like him. That's one of my goals when I finally recover - help the others. We are the heroes. Don't give up!!!
Marek they shouldn,t of took you off cold turkey they should help you taper, im on the same have been for 3 years just about to try and taper so fingers crossed, you will get better mate
@@paulbillington8290 well - that's what happened. in a couple days it will be 9 months off and I haven't been more ill in my entire life. i can sleep quite well compared to others but levels of depression and anxiety are beyond imagination. i don't think i will EVER trust a doctor in my life or take ANY drug, no matter how bad it gets. almost every day tears are pouring down my face. before benzos i was perfectly fine, double higher education etc. now i cannot work. i cannot even cook my own meals. but they say we all get better, so fingers crossed.
@@marekdabrowski877 Oh good on you mate, if you can sleep that is a big surprise to me cos thats what i started taking them for but sleep will help you get trhough it my friend, i,m totally with you on the doctor thing they don,t seem to give a f*** about us these days unless you,ve got alot of money and can go private which most of us haven,t, keep strong mate you will get there soon i,m sure, try magnesium glycinate and apparenlty magnolia bark works as well
@tyrel can't work at all. i'm a house wife right now. drop off kids to school, wife to work, clean the house, go for a long walk, then pick them up, and so on. some part of me wants to be dead....
No one has described Gaba receptor damage from Benzo use like you. Everything you said is incredibly spot on. The severe lack of sleep, paranoia and need ro withdraw is so paralizing. Ive lostl myself no doubt. Also, its discouraging because I've begun to question weather I can return to normal and living this way forever seems unbearable. The body is in fight or flight mode every day all day. Thank you for helping me and others to see we are not alone and not crazy. You give inspiration to carry on and fight.👏❤️👏
Thank you for your information. I've been through all you have been through. Anxiety & depression. Been on kkonopin for 10 yrs. The dose no konger helped, so I took 2 at a time. I feel sick when I take Klonopin. Getting ready to get off this awful, awful med. You have given me some really good ideas. I see my therapist tomorrow. You are doing wonderful and without knowing you can tell you're a wonderful man.
Content has been a lifesaver for me. I listen to calm me down. When you don’t have anyone to talk to, content makes you feel less alone. Thank you for your down-to-earth way of discussing this. Very refreshing and so comforting. Much Love and Appreciation.
Thank you for your very important issue. My mornings are hell. I have felt mornings when I have been depressed and also 4 months (2019, I had trauma and survived the depression and panic attacks quite quickly) what is it to wake up to total depression, terrible panic attacks and anxiety and this what I'm going through is way more than those horrible mornings were. My hell started 2021 summer when my dog had to put to sleep at the age 16. I had terrible panic attacks multiple times a day and doctor prescriped me a big amount of oxazepam and doctor didn't warn me. I became to suffer brain lock. Also ofcourse depression. I started to feel like I don't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and can't understand that people live their normal lives. I was saying constantly I don't understand things and suffer physically and mentally and I was shocked when I realised that I was hooked up with this drug. I tapered it on my own first and then I asked help from hospital and rude doctor sent me to rehab center (I have never been even drunk) and they took 30 mg off of oxazepam in a week. I could barely speak, puking, insomnia, felt like my arms, legs and head were paralysed. Doctor saw me outside the rehab center and sent me to hospital and one doctor did crossover to diazepam 10 mg and brain lock went away. I could sleep, I could go to home, I went to walk and have good feeling first time after my dog died. I could see my partner and mom and other people (now and year ago with oxazepam withdrawl symptoms I was mostly isolated because I just tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people) and got off my depression symptoms, could go to store without panic (agoraphobia went away, normally im confident, active, social person) and could cook to my partner and I was ok in my own home. But the doctor did too quick taper and at 6 mg it went badly wrong. Brain lock came back, insomnia, depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks, diarrhea. Doctor rised diazepam to 12 mg but it didn't help. I taperd it 1 mg per week and suffered mostly alone and at 5 mg I went to hospital and they tapered me to zero straight and I had terrible panic attacks and withdrawl symptons and after one month rude doctor said I couldn't have any withdrawl symptons and I got to home very sick. Brain lock still. I didn't sleep so my new doctor prescriped me 200 mg of quetapine and 20 mg of temazepam (year ago when I was on diazepam and felt good for a while I slept 25 mg of quetapine and 7,5 mg of imovane and before my dog died I slept years very good with just 25 mg of quetapine). My doctor also prescriped me klonopin to get me relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help. I haven't been able to sen people for this six months with klonopin, just mom who tries to help me to get food from store. I can't understand people talking normal things and am in constant fight or flight state like year ago when I was in bad withdrawl symptons of oxazepam. Few weeks ago my mom said to my doctor that she thinks I suffer withdrawl symptoms even don't taper and my doctor agreed and said I have tolerance. I said I want to taper with Ashton manual and she was willing to read it and we started few weeks ago. I feel awful. I fear this brain lock is permanent. My head was scanned in the mri and it was fine. It went away when I didn't year ago have tolerance to diazepam and it gave me relief from oxazepam withdrawl. But then it came back. I can't function normally. I'm normally active and happy. Now I try to go to run and walk and brainlock is ruing it and I feel like my brain just shuts down. Normally i get flow feeling when i run or go to the gym. I feel depersonalization and derealisation. I feel disconnected to my loved ones and other people. I can't do much in a day. I was my partner like once a week shortly because he is so tired of this and tries still be with me even we can't do things. And se did lots of things, lots of exercise before this hell. This is my third time to try to taper (And year ago I was in a better shape mentally and psysically because brain lock went away that little while and even I tapered diazepam those few first weeks I had just few physical symptoms and then) and I'm whole time scared (have been suffering the worst hell now 1,5 years and lost every family meetings etc) and because of klonopin the same amount of diazepam is huge. I started to do crossover from klonopin to diazepam and I was first on 2,5 mg of klonopin and now i'm in 1 mg of klonopin and 30 mg of diazepam, total amount of diazepam about 50 mg 😥 Next weeks I taper klonopin off and have then 30 mg of diazepam and slow tapering, I have a year taper ahead and have no power left. I'm every morning in hell, like I have no brain and can't live a day like this alone anymore. And I would have good active life if I could have griefed my dog normally then and wouldn't have trusted the doctor who didn't warn me and I was so messed up (I think the 2019 trauma had affect how I went insane for my dog's death, he was then beside me helping me and he was everything to me and had the best care from me and doctors) that I couldn't be aware then that this amount of benzo and long term (and I took them ollu for my panic attacks and there were multiple times a day I lost my mind) isn't a good idea and then I was quickly in hell. I'm exhausted, fear my brain isn't going to be normal functioning and it's awful and scary from day to day feel like brain damaged. And I have to get this drug off of me and have my good life back. But every day I suffer, my life like this (and all the trauma few rude doctors have caused me) losing my contacts to my loved ones, they do call me but I can't be normal me with anybody, isn't worth living. I said to my doctor I fear I have permanent mental brain damage and she said that no she thinks this drug is making me sick and more anxious and I agree with that, I still fear my brain won't ever function normally. And she thinks when I'm enough long time off of benzo my anxiety will get easier and brain lock will go away. And we can then deal with depression and traumas that my dog's death and this hell with benzo caused. Did you ever feel your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand things? I heard from a man WHO makes podcasts of benzo that I propably suffer BIND. And that can heal. I'm in constant fear and I can't help it. Never felt myself so scared and lonely. I have many lovely people in my life and now i'm alone mostly. Thank you for your great video and thank you if you have time to read this and maybe answer and give some hope. All the best to you.
I am going through hell. Psych took me off Zoloft cold turkey after 15 years and put me onto Xanax 1mg a day after 2 months i started to get withdrawal tolerance physical pains, waking up in the middle of the night and thiking i was in hell not knowing who or where i was. I stopped fairly quickly within 5 days of taper. Have been having suicidal thoughts major anxiety and panic attacks cognitive dysfunction. 1 year out and still feel like shit. Im still blaming myself for starting the Xanax and listening to the psych. Its easy to see how some cant bare it. I am at my lowest but i cant give up for my kids or wife. All of you going through this, we are all have been so humbled.
Phill, thank you for your videos. I'm from Spanish. Maybe, this sounds kind of strange, but thanks to your videos you have avoided putting a finish to my days. I am yet on clonazepam 2 mg in the morning and 3 mg at night. I take others' medication. But the point is you deserve to know that you have saved the life of a Spanish guy. Thank you,
I like the little man analogy repairing the nerves, etc. I've had body wide, excruciating nerve pain and this helped. All of my nerves are being repaired and it does hurt like hell.
Wow, yes YES, it is awful when the morning comes and the super fast anxiety comes, mind racing craziness. I couldn't articulate this I was so ill, existential terror, super psychological intensity, its improving but still there. Ten years on z drugs then relapsed on etizolam after a dysfunctional family divorce, I'd already had depression and anxiety but nothing, no thing compares to this. 6 months clear and waiting for the neurocircuity to regrow. It's great to hear this explained, I've said out loud, it feels like I blew out the fuse box with electricity. Imagine this energy properly distributed, I'd last all day. The peeing thing, does anyone else have constant peeing. I heard it was too much gabba makes too much urea in the kidneys. We had our central nervous system smashed with a claw hammer. I felt like I'd been battered with a baseball bat across my back, whole upper gi tract was killing me. Punched in the stomach and then the feeling of trying to eliminate by peeing. Toilet every ten minutes at certain times. I am still too scared to go out sometimes if the digestive system starts. Trying to work or do anything and my body is like, sit the hell down or its chronic sore choking feeling in the upper belly and trying to pee, pee, pee. The Dr's took blood, did all kinds of inner investigation because they have no idea what this is. This is a deliverance to hear, I embrace the pain too and then really fight, fight, fight because I'm determined this Dr will not resign me to the dead category of the unhelpable. I will do this.
@@CF-Warrior I can't, im on disability and I should never have needed to be at 45,its horrible but completely impossible to work until recovered. My doctor said I was looking at 2 years at least, a big pharma crime to disable otherwise should be healthy people.. It should be banned except for anaesthesia or seizures during a detoxification but very short term.
I have experienced this type of morning anxiety. Feeling really wound up. One thing that helped me was is working out early am to burn off some of that energy. I read some where that the stress hormone cortisol is at its highest in the mornings. What has helped me recover the couple times I went through a couple weeks of flight or fight here even while currently on lexapro is heavy weight training in the gym and working with my therapist to deconstruct the fearful thoughts that have me tense and looking around waiting for something bad to happen. I learned that its basically my inner scared child looking for safty
I can relate 100%. And theres a little green man in my head And he said, you're not going crazy, you're just a bit sad 'Cause there's a man in ya, gnawing ya, tearing ya into two Silly boy, ya self-destroyer Paranoia, the destroyer
Thanks for continuing to put out content, your experience and ultimate recovery are an example of what we can all look forward to when that little guy/girl on our head finally gets everything rewired correctly. 21 months alcohol free and 18 months Benzo free and it still feels I have quite a long way to go. Who truly knows though, maybe things could change for the better in an instant.
Ed i,m taking valim and drinking a bit, have drunk for years but only been on 50mg for 2 years, i need to get off the drink before i can taper, have you any tips my friend?
@@paulbillington8290 hey Paul, the best advice is to take it slow and don't get hung up on how long it takes. Slowly reduce the booze at a tolerable pace that doesn't cause too much discomfort. I highly suggest AGAINST cold turkey, it can be very disruptive. Also, try to avoid caffeine and sugar as they just stir things up, lots of water and whole foods. You WILL get there, but go easy on yourself and take your time. Happy New Year!
@@Army1SGRetired Ok Ed top man for that reply, i,m going to ween the drink down slowly this year and then taper slowly on the valium, i don,t have much caffine anyway so your saying it can be done, someone else said don,t put a time frame om it so cheers for that mate, happy new year to you too.
@@paulbillington8290 yes, it can certainly be done and not forcing yourself into a timeline is the way to go. Listen to your body and adjust accordingly, you've got this!
That IS HOW IT FEELS- the continual gas pedal pushed all the way down while trying to drive down the street. Benzo withdrawals are from hell. Thank you.
Phill is it vitc that repairs our adrenals, mine have been totally burnt out my drink and stress so been on valium as well for 3 years which at first saved my world but now they are slowly making things worse, going to start a taper so do the fruit smoothies actually help?
@@phileichinger1532 thanks. I tried to make a green smoothie as you suggest and it’s so difficult to drink it😅. But for sure we would do everything to feel better.
Hi I can't see how much fruit you use for this smoothie, like how much of each and how can I tell if my stomach distention is from the benzos or an underlying issue. Gi Dr thinks it's all the meds in on which I'm sure is part but if I can know the source I can fight it thank you for sharing your story!
Cortisol is highest in the am. Wait for any caffeine. Also if you have booze the night before thats a big thing because alcohol is benzos basically. They act on gaba basically the same.
My psychiatrist said he will never pull me off because I had a mental break from withdrawal I’m not getting into what happened but he said absolutely not I went down 3mgs to 1 that’s it. I can’t do it I cracked up. Especially when you you have everyday responsibilities like taking care of family member everyday it’s very dangerous on body and mind to come off You are strong 💪🏼 been there off two weeks Rebound effect brain damage I was told only a little memory loss when I started 30 years ago I was a teen I’m 50 now I feel terrible I’m like married to these. I have no keep sanity I know my mind is never going to be the same I’m okay with that. No other choice I was seeing gore in my face these things drs need to stop now but Thank Germany 🇩🇪 for making this shit! But drs also said cigarettes 🚬 were good for clearing your throat. Drs and pharmaceutical companies do this knowing but 🤷🏻♀️
Can someone help me how to make the veggie smoothies.Can I make them without a juicer?I have a blender. What are the best veg for bringing down cortisol.can I prepare and freeze veg? 32 months off K. Mornings remain just awful. Some great tips here in this video.I have never looked into dietary changes too much. Just stopped the basics. Thank you.❤😊
It’s alright. You did what you did. It’s over. That’s the last time you are allowed to mention it. Time to get going. You’ve admitted it, feel good about that, now let’s get moving.
I'm stuck on zdrug and I have been self medicating. I was left on for 6 months taken off 7.75mg.. went through horrendous withdrawals. I reinstated by getting of the net No Doctor had a clue about slow safe tapering.. iget the awful morning anxiety on the zopiclone. I take them with a painkiller containing operates. Take 10 zopiclone a day. Is there any help for me out there? My wife passed 4 years ago. I vevwr had anxiety till her death. Grief is horrendous. Please help?
Hi, your message is old but you mentioned cognitive problem. I call mine brain lock. Like I don't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their lives normally. I feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people. I was living a healthy active social life before was prescriped benzo and no warnings after trauma and had like 20 panic attacks a day in 2021. Third time to taper, two times were too quick and went badly wrong, now with Ashton manual and at least 7 months to taper. I fear this brain lock is permanent brain damage. My doctor says when I'm long enough off of this drug brain lock will go away. When I wake up I feel like I die in that second and can't take one day anymore like this and then feel I have to end my life. This torture is not from this world. I can't be with anybody and my partner is waiting me but I can't be with him. I'm on constant panic and fight or flight state. Thank you if you can answer if you had any similar problems. It would be helpful. I haven't ever been even drunk and now i'm hooked up with this drug that is pure evil. I don't have power left to fight but I want this drug off of me and have my good life back. I was really confident and social and now i fear leaving my home or even take the trash out. Thank you if you can read and answer.
@@lauriina85 Same here. I feel a total mess. Losing my 9 year relationship. I self medicated 8 months ago for financial, professional and relationship struggles that lead me to insomnia. Now I don't have anything and I can see that everything had a solution but just couldn't see it. Now I don't have nothing and can hardly sleep on 10 mg of Valium. I feel like I don't want to live anymore but I don't want to leave my family and girlfriend in grief. I'm 40 years old and feel with brain damage which I don't know how much will take to heal. This is really hard.
I’m almost 3 I noticed it got worse with adding coffee back. Ffs I get no joy in life. I’ve been told keto makes it stop because it stabilises blood sugar
Guys for everybody here how i got rid of my extreme morning anxiety and depression. Lithium oratate was a game changer. I tried everything for 8 months and this was the jackpot
@@arthurv4401 i'm all over kratom. it's ok....biggest problem with it is that the whites, green and some reds either cause or exacerbate my head pressure/headaches. i'm staying very well hydrated with electrolytes and using Mg L-threonate daily. been using for about a year and still don't have a very solid regimen for it. i know it's an individual thing, but any advice on K would be greatly appreciated!
25yrs here too...Kpin (among others like Xanax and Ativan). It all fades. I think soon I might be sleeping again normally too. I've been off benzos for around 18 months (not counting, just an educated guess).
The boat I call it yes!! Look up ATAXIA. I'm 2yrs into taper, the boat is the worst. Also being pushed through the floor feeling. It's damage to the cerebellum brain. Does get better...very slowly. Worst feeling.
@@phileichinger1532 I don't see the podcast on your channel. I was only on xanax for 3 months and I am 9 months in on a cold turkey withdrawal. I just had a setback and it is so tough for my family who just doesn't understand any of it and thinks it is all in my head. I agree with you on timing and symptoms and I am trying to do that now. I have 7 books on wellness, EMDR, cognitive thinking and I am still having a hard time with the fear of all of this. I am very happy that I found your videos as they may help better than anything else I have researched.
Find somebody to help you get through this if you need to. Reach out for help. It's out there. You will get through it. If I learned anything from my c/t benzo withdrawal it's that the brain heals in it's time, not ours. If you need any referrals to websites that promote drug information & withdrawal don't hesitate to ask.
@@smilemor-phony5964 Ya man Im making good progress so far. Still have painful symptoms but they seem to be fading slowly. Hopfully by 6 months il be ok. Im 23 years old so I think being young is helping me heal alot. Nights are the worst cortisol surges, toxic naps. I prolly wake up 20 times a night and pace. Then the days get better.
@@swaggstaful - well I sure am glad to hear you're doing alright. You're young & healthy, that's an added plus! Work with your sleep issues. It just never ceases to amaze me to hear people taking them short-term experiencing the same horrid withdrawals that us long-termers experience. Like Johnathon Wagner in Lisa Lings 'The Benzo Crisis'. I consider benzodiazepines to be the most dangerous drugs on the planet. Take care of yourself, and yes, you most certainly will get better. Once off the drugs, we get even 'better' than better.
@@smilemor-phony5964 Ya man that only thing that is scaring me is I got put on 25mg of seroquel when I was in the hospital. I cant seem to get off it while im withdrawling from benzos. Im praying coming off this later when im healed will be nothing like benzos.
I am taking 1 maybe 2 per nite to sleep helps alittle - still take Advil pm with it like I hv for yrs -- even when I took the Xanax .5 mg at nite always took the Advil Pm as well -- but Gabapentin was prescribed for my lupus/sjogrens / auto immune disease -- but after script -- read all it’s used for and the come off. Some people start at low dose within few months up to 1800 mg per day -- so didn’t take as prescribed was afraid after benzo Xanax withdrawl --never ever again so playing with 1 maybe 2 each -100 mg too sleep hear that little dose won’t be a prob. Coming off - they say -- again they say doctors don’t get this benzo withdrawl or they don’t want to know or learn or just plan don’t know what to do for it. - So be careful if you try just remember some people say no problem coming off at all it’s not a benzo -- it’s not narcotic just research .
"I can’t give you advice because I have no idea of your situation, I can only speak for myself. That said. Once I accepted the Pain was going to Be a Big and Brutal piece of my recovery., I Surrendered and Fully Accepted what was Going On. After 30 years on Benzos, there was going to a reckoning and it was going to Hurt. After Acceptance, I knew intuitively when I reached my absolute, can’t go on, this is dangerous Breaking Point. At those times (3 or 4 times over the first 3 years clean), yes, I used Gabepentin Twice and Kratom a few times. I know myself and my pain thresholds better than anyone and was not going to go back to Benzos or let myself get get stuck on alternative addictive solutions. My head was straight. I was ready., but yes, a few times I needed something so I didn’t crack. I’m not as Strong as Most, I knew what I had to do. And did it. May 4 will be 4 years after 30 year Benzo addiction which most of you know thru my TH-cam videos and recent PodCast I did with Geraldine Burns."
Doing Great Steve, I will be getting a studio put together to do some live interaction and new content here in 2024. I moved from Philadelphia to San Antonio.
I am interested to know if you have dealt with the cause of your anxiety to begin with. Do you deal with what errors cause anxiety in humans on this channel? Are you under the impression that your chosen method of making money is unrelated to your "psych illness"? Thx. I am retired 33yr Psych Nurse/USAVet from Millionaires CircusTown. I am here because you gave advice to a suicidal person in Facebook. I am more interested in humanity dealing with the root causes of our anxiety, dude. I will be watching. Do you think your income level has no correlation to your "psych illness"? Thx for your bravery to be here!🙏💔👼
Hello Linda, I am Grateful for your comments. Unfortunately, I cannot give advice to people as everyone is so very different. What we do try to do here is share Our Own Personal Experiences, Support the heck out of each other and share What happened, What it was Like, how we are today, and Hope for tomorrow. Thank you for your perspective, I certainly wish you the best. Phil.
I took Clonazepam for 3 and a half years, they were different doses, I got to take 4-6 mg per day but my last dose was 1 mg. I stopped taking it almost at once, my psychiatrist told me that I could reduce 1 mg to 0.25 in just 5 days and stop. I have been free for 12 months, my symptoms are, extreme paranoia 24/7 (I think everyone looks at me, even at home with my own family I am paranoid), agoraphobia (I hardly leave my house, the few times I go out it is by bicycle because I feel less observed), depersonalization, derealization, fear of everything, even my own shadow, feeling short of breath, completely blurred vision (I have no focus with my vision), sensitivity to noise, extreme anxiety to the point of not being able to watch TV or play a computer game, tachycardia, akathisia, anger/rage, stiff neck, feet and hands, irritability, intrusive thoughts, obsessions. ¿Can someone tell me if one day I will be able to be my normal self again without thinking that all people are looking at me, without agoraphobia, etc? I would give anything to have a normal life.
I'm just about 8 full months off Diazepam, after taking it for just over 10 years. Doctor took me off them cold turkey, and I'm in pure hell, day by day. Listening to people like Phil give me hope that one day I will be like him. That's one of my goals when I finally recover - help the others. We are the heroes. Don't give up!!!
Marek they shouldn,t of took you off cold turkey they should help you taper, im on the same have been for 3 years just about to try and taper so fingers crossed, you will get better mate
@@paulbillington8290 well - that's what happened. in a couple days it will be 9 months off and I haven't been more ill in my entire life. i can sleep quite well compared to others but levels of depression and anxiety are beyond imagination. i don't think i will EVER trust a doctor in my life or take ANY drug, no matter how bad it gets. almost every day tears are pouring down my face. before benzos i was perfectly fine, double higher education etc. now i cannot work. i cannot even cook my own meals. but they say we all get better, so fingers crossed.
@@marekdabrowski877 Oh good on you mate, if you can sleep that is a big surprise to me cos thats what i started taking them for but sleep will help you get trhough it my friend, i,m totally with you on the doctor thing they don,t seem to give a f*** about us these days unless you,ve got alot of money and can go private which most of us haven,t, keep strong mate you will get there soon i,m sure, try magnesium glycinate and apparenlty magnolia bark works as well
@tyrel nope!!!! next week it will be 1 YEAR OFF and nothing has changed yet. really hope it does get better with time..........
@tyrel can't work at all. i'm a house wife right now. drop off kids to school, wife to work, clean the house, go for a long walk, then pick them up, and so on. some part of me wants to be dead....
No one has described Gaba receptor damage from Benzo use like you. Everything you said is incredibly spot on. The severe lack of sleep, paranoia and need ro withdraw is so paralizing. Ive lostl myself no doubt. Also, its discouraging because I've begun to question weather I can return to normal and living this way forever seems unbearable. The body is in fight or flight mode every day all day. Thank you for helping me and others to see we are not alone and not crazy. You give inspiration to carry on and fight.👏❤️👏
I’ve been in taper for years and I must say; you rock. Doing a great service to help people. All best wishes to you, my friend
Thank you for your information. I've been through all you have been through. Anxiety & depression. Been on kkonopin for 10 yrs. The dose no konger helped, so I took 2 at a time. I feel sick when I take Klonopin. Getting ready to get off this awful, awful med. You have given me some really good ideas. I see my therapist tomorrow. You are doing wonderful and without knowing you can tell you're a wonderful man.
Content has been a lifesaver for me. I listen to calm me down. When you don’t have anyone to talk to, content makes you feel less alone.
Thank you for your down-to-earth way of discussing this. Very refreshing and so comforting. Much Love and Appreciation.
It's gotten me through the last 18 months.....and I have learned A LOT. Living alone, less than 2yrs off of a 25yr daily benzo feast.....sheesh. ❤
Have you left the benzo community Phil?
Thank you for your very important issue.
My mornings are hell. I have felt mornings when I have been depressed and also 4 months (2019, I had trauma and survived the depression and panic attacks quite quickly) what is it to wake up to total depression, terrible panic attacks and anxiety and this what I'm going through is way more than those horrible mornings were.
My hell started 2021 summer when my dog had to put to sleep at the age 16. I had terrible panic attacks multiple times a day and doctor prescriped me a big amount of oxazepam and doctor didn't warn me. I became to suffer brain lock. Also ofcourse depression. I started to feel like I don't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and can't understand that people live their normal lives. I was saying constantly I don't understand things and suffer physically and mentally and I was shocked when I realised that I was hooked up with this drug. I tapered it on my own first and then I asked help from hospital and rude doctor sent me to rehab center (I have never been even drunk) and they took 30 mg off of oxazepam in a week. I could barely speak, puking, insomnia, felt like my arms, legs and head were paralysed. Doctor saw me outside the rehab center and sent me to hospital and one doctor did crossover to diazepam 10 mg and brain lock went away. I could sleep, I could go to home, I went to walk and have good feeling first time after my dog died. I could see my partner and mom and other people (now and year ago with oxazepam withdrawl symptoms I was mostly isolated because I just tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people) and got off my depression symptoms, could go to store without panic (agoraphobia went away, normally im confident, active, social person) and could cook to my partner and I was ok in my own home. But the doctor did too quick taper and at 6 mg it went badly wrong. Brain lock came back, insomnia, depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks, diarrhea. Doctor rised diazepam to 12 mg but it didn't help. I taperd it 1 mg per week and suffered mostly alone and at 5 mg I went to hospital and they tapered me to zero straight and I had terrible panic attacks and withdrawl symptons and after one month rude doctor said I couldn't have any withdrawl symptons and I got to home very sick. Brain lock still.
I didn't sleep so my new doctor prescriped me 200 mg of quetapine and 20 mg of temazepam (year ago when I was on diazepam and felt good for a while I slept 25 mg of quetapine and 7,5 mg of imovane and before my dog died I slept years very good with just 25 mg of quetapine).
My doctor also prescriped me klonopin to get me relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help. I haven't been able to sen people for this six months with klonopin, just mom who tries to help me to get food from store.
I can't understand people talking normal things and am in constant fight or flight state like year ago when I was in bad withdrawl symptons of oxazepam. Few weeks ago my mom said to my doctor that she thinks I suffer withdrawl symptoms even don't taper and my doctor agreed and said I have tolerance. I said I want to taper with Ashton manual and she was willing to read it and we started few weeks ago. I feel awful. I fear this brain lock is permanent. My head was scanned in the mri and it was fine. It went away when I didn't year ago have tolerance to diazepam and it gave me relief from oxazepam withdrawl. But then it came back. I can't function normally. I'm normally active and happy. Now I try to go to run and walk and brainlock is ruing it and I feel like my brain just shuts down. Normally i get flow feeling when i run or go to the gym. I feel depersonalization and derealisation. I feel disconnected to my loved ones and other people. I can't do much in a day. I was my partner like once a week shortly because he is so tired of this and tries still be with me even we can't do things. And se did lots of things, lots of exercise before this hell.
This is my third time to try to taper (And year ago I was in a better shape mentally and psysically because brain lock went away that little while and even I tapered diazepam those few first weeks I had just few physical symptoms and then) and I'm whole time scared (have been suffering the worst hell now 1,5 years and lost every family meetings etc) and because of klonopin the same amount of diazepam is huge. I started to do crossover from klonopin to diazepam and I was first on 2,5 mg of klonopin and now i'm in 1 mg of klonopin and 30 mg of diazepam, total amount of diazepam about 50 mg 😥 Next weeks I taper klonopin off and have then 30 mg of diazepam and slow tapering, I have a year taper ahead and have no power left. I'm every morning in hell, like I have no brain and can't live a day like this alone anymore. And I would have good active life if I could have griefed my dog normally then and wouldn't have trusted the doctor who didn't warn me and I was so messed up (I think the 2019 trauma had affect how I went insane for my dog's death, he was then beside me helping me and he was everything to me and had the best care from me and doctors) that I couldn't be aware then that this amount of benzo and long term (and I took them ollu for my panic attacks and there were multiple times a day I lost my mind) isn't a good idea and then I was quickly in hell.
I'm exhausted, fear my brain isn't going to be normal functioning and it's awful and scary from day to day feel like brain damaged. And I have to get this drug off of me and have my good life back. But every day I suffer, my life like this (and all the trauma few rude doctors have caused me) losing my contacts to my loved ones, they do call me but I can't be normal me with anybody, isn't worth living. I said to my doctor I fear I have permanent mental brain damage and she said that no she thinks this drug is making me sick and more anxious and I agree with that, I still fear my brain won't ever function normally. And she thinks when I'm enough long time off of benzo my anxiety will get easier and brain lock will go away. And we can then deal with depression and traumas that my dog's death and this hell with benzo caused. Did you ever feel your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand things? I heard from a man WHO makes podcasts of benzo that I propably suffer BIND. And that can heal. I'm in constant fear and I can't help it. Never felt myself so scared and lonely. I have many lovely people in my life and now i'm alone mostly. Thank you for your great video and thank you if you have time to read this and maybe answer and give some hope. All the best to you.
Please try Lithium oratate 15 mg a day en tell me the results
I am going through hell. Psych took me off Zoloft cold turkey after 15 years and put me onto Xanax 1mg a day after 2 months i started to get withdrawal tolerance physical pains, waking up in the middle of the night and thiking i was in hell not knowing who or where i was. I stopped fairly quickly within 5 days of taper. Have been having suicidal thoughts major anxiety and panic attacks cognitive dysfunction. 1 year out and still feel like shit. Im still blaming myself for starting the Xanax and listening to the psych. Its easy to see how some cant bare it. I am at my lowest but i cant give up for my kids or wife. All of you going through this, we are all have been so humbled.
Phill, thank you for your videos. I'm from Spanish. Maybe, this sounds kind of strange, but thanks to your videos you have avoided putting a finish to my days. I am yet on clonazepam 2 mg in the morning and 3 mg at night. I take others' medication. But the point is you deserve to know that you have saved the life of a Spanish guy.
Thank you,
So thankful someone is talking about this
Thank you for sharing your healing journey. I can relate on so many levels. Great advice.
This is very very helpful wish I heard it before. Of course the wish we knew before thought is something we all suffer from. Grateful to have it now.
I like the little man analogy repairing the nerves, etc. I've had body wide, excruciating nerve pain and this helped. All of my nerves are being repaired and it does hurt like hell.
Wow, yes YES, it is awful when the morning comes and the super fast anxiety comes, mind racing craziness. I couldn't articulate this I was so ill, existential terror, super psychological intensity, its improving but still there. Ten years on z drugs then relapsed on etizolam after a dysfunctional family divorce, I'd already had depression and anxiety but nothing, no thing compares to this. 6 months clear and waiting for the neurocircuity to regrow. It's great to hear this explained, I've said out loud, it feels like I blew out the fuse box with electricity. Imagine this energy properly distributed, I'd last all day. The peeing thing, does anyone else have constant peeing. I heard it was too much gabba makes too much urea in the kidneys. We had our central nervous system smashed with a claw hammer. I felt like I'd been battered with a baseball bat across my back, whole upper gi tract was killing me. Punched in the stomach and then the feeling of trying to eliminate by peeing. Toilet every ten minutes at certain times. I am still too scared to go out sometimes if the digestive system starts. Trying to work or do anything and my body is like, sit the hell down or its chronic sore choking feeling in the upper belly and trying to pee, pee, pee. The Dr's took blood, did all kinds of inner investigation because they have no idea what this is. This is a deliverance to hear, I embrace the pain too and then really fight, fight, fight because I'm determined this Dr will not resign me to the dead category of the unhelpable. I will do this.
Yes. You Will. And With this mindset, You Certainly Are. One Day at a Time.
It finally went away for me but I was peeing constantly!
@@mewdotkai I've been peeing constantly too. What is it ?Labs are all normal.
How in this world were you able to work?? I'm on disability... I would just die if I had commitments like a full time job. How do you do this?
@@CF-Warrior I can't, im on disability and I should never have needed to be at 45,its horrible but completely impossible to work until recovered. My doctor said I was looking at 2 years at least, a big pharma crime to disable otherwise should be healthy people.. It should be banned except for anaesthesia or seizures during a detoxification but very short term.
Right we can’t treat the anxiety like we have to get away from it because that makes the anxiety even worse.
Thank you so much for your videos! :)
I have panic attacks but will not ever take a benzo or ssri. Yes it's hell but no where near the hell of the stories of withdrawal
you are a real good man in this world thank god
I have experienced this type of morning anxiety. Feeling really wound up. One thing that helped me was is working out early am to burn off some of that energy. I read some where that the stress hormone cortisol is at its highest in the mornings. What has helped me recover the couple times I went through a couple weeks of flight or fight here even while currently on lexapro is heavy weight training in the gym and working with my therapist to deconstruct the fearful thoughts that have me tense and looking around waiting for something bad to happen. I learned that its basically my inner scared child looking for safty
So well Stated. Thanks and Agree.
I can relate 100%.
And theres a little green man in my head
And he said, you're not going crazy, you're just a bit sad
'Cause there's a man in ya, gnawing ya, tearing ya into two
Silly boy, ya self-destroyer
Paranoia, the destroyer
Thanks for continuing to put out content, your experience and ultimate recovery are an example of what we can all look forward to when that little guy/girl on our head finally gets everything rewired correctly.
21 months alcohol free and 18 months Benzo free and it still feels I have quite a long way to go. Who truly knows though, maybe things could change for the better in an instant.
Good to Hear From You Ed. Keep Going My Friend. 110% I Promise.
Ed i,m taking valim and drinking a bit, have drunk for years but only been on 50mg for 2 years, i need to get off the drink before i can taper, have you any tips my friend?
@@paulbillington8290 hey Paul, the best advice is to take it slow and don't get hung up on how long it takes. Slowly reduce the booze at a tolerable pace that doesn't cause too much discomfort. I highly suggest AGAINST cold turkey, it can be very disruptive. Also, try to avoid caffeine and sugar as they just stir things up, lots of water and whole foods.
You WILL get there, but go easy on yourself and take your time. Happy New Year!
@@Army1SGRetired Ok Ed top man for that reply, i,m going to ween the drink down slowly this year and then taper slowly on the valium, i don,t have much caffine anyway so your saying it can be done, someone else said don,t put a time frame om it so cheers for that mate, happy new year to you too.
@@paulbillington8290 yes, it can certainly be done and not forcing yourself into a timeline is the way to go. Listen to your body and adjust accordingly, you've got this!
Thanks
Absolutely right
Yeah, the morning anxiety was so intense for me for the first few months after stopping benzos.
Great tools We what we resistence we keep fighting.
Gary, Sounds so Simple but Such Truth. Thanks
That IS HOW IT FEELS- the continual gas pedal pushed all the way down while trying to drive down the street. Benzo withdrawals are from hell. Thank you.
Phill is it vitc that repairs our adrenals, mine have been totally burnt out my drink and stress so been on valium as well for 3 years which at first saved my world but now they are slowly making things worse, going to start a taper so do the fruit smoothies actually help?
Thanks for your great suggestions. Do you cook the veggies before you make the smoothie?
Hi Danny, No, I do not cook them. we want them raw and as Close to the Source as we can find.
@@phileichinger1532 thanks. I tried to make a green smoothie as you suggest and it’s so difficult to drink it😅. But for sure we would do everything to feel better.
Hi I can't see how much fruit you use for this smoothie, like how much of each and how can I tell if my stomach distention is from the benzos or an underlying issue. Gi Dr thinks it's all the meds in on which I'm sure is part but if I can know the source I can fight it thank you for sharing your story!
Cortisol is highest in the am. Wait for any caffeine. Also if you have booze the night before thats a big thing because alcohol is benzos basically. They act on gaba basically the same.
You also want to save your fattest dose for the very end of the day if you can since that sleep/rest window is quite long to go without dosing
Did you say frozen fruit from Costco ?? In those big huge bags ? That sounds good not messing around too much - to make smoothies
Not Totally sure of Your Point, But Yes, I Buy my Greens and Fruits in Bulk now. Within the Huge Bag, There are 30 Premade Packages.
Is there anything to take for high cortisol?
No grapefruit if you're tapering or on other meds.
My psychiatrist said he will never pull me off because I had a mental break from withdrawal I’m not getting into what happened but he said absolutely not I went down 3mgs to 1 that’s it. I can’t do it I cracked up. Especially when you you have everyday responsibilities like taking care of family member everyday it’s very dangerous on body and mind to come off You are strong 💪🏼 been there off two weeks Rebound effect brain damage I was told only a little memory loss when I started 30 years ago I was a teen I’m 50 now I feel terrible I’m like married to these. I have no keep sanity I know my mind is never going to be the same I’m okay with that. No other choice I was seeing gore in my face these things drs need to stop now but Thank Germany 🇩🇪 for making this shit! But drs also said cigarettes 🚬 were good for clearing your throat. Drs and pharmaceutical companies do this knowing but 🤷🏻♀️
Can someone help me how to make the veggie smoothies.Can I make them without a juicer?I have a blender. What are the best veg for bringing down cortisol.can I prepare and freeze veg? 32 months off K. Mornings remain just awful. Some great tips here in this video.I have never looked into dietary changes too much. Just stopped the basics. Thank you.❤😊
Has this improved for you?
Damn the mornings, I remember and now I'm there again!!! How stupid of me!
It’s alright. You did what you did. It’s over. That’s the last time you are allowed to mention it. Time to get going. You’ve admitted it, feel good about that, now let’s get moving.
I'm stuck on zdrug and I have been self medicating. I was left on for 6 months taken off 7.75mg.. went through horrendous withdrawals. I reinstated by getting of the net No Doctor had a clue about slow safe tapering.. iget the awful morning anxiety on the zopiclone. I take them with a painkiller containing operates. Take 10 zopiclone a day. Is there any help for me out there? My wife passed 4 years ago. I vevwr had anxiety till her death. Grief is horrendous. Please help?
Did you use raw eggs in your smoothies
How many times per day would you drink a cup of snoothies
I hope I m gonna survive
How long did you go through this?
What about the tinnitus & delirium & cognitive injury
Hi, your message is old but you mentioned cognitive problem.
I call mine brain lock. Like I don't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their lives normally. I feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people. I was living a healthy active social life before was prescriped benzo and no warnings after trauma and had like 20 panic attacks a day in 2021. Third time to taper, two times were too quick and went badly wrong, now with Ashton manual and at least 7 months to taper. I fear this brain lock is permanent brain damage. My doctor says when I'm long enough off of this drug brain lock will go away. When I wake up I feel like I die in that second and can't take one day anymore like this and then feel I have to end my life. This torture is not from this world. I can't be with anybody and my partner is waiting me but I can't be with him. I'm on constant panic and fight or flight state.
Thank you if you can answer if you had any similar problems. It would be helpful. I haven't ever been even drunk and now i'm hooked up with this drug that is pure evil. I don't have power left to fight but I want this drug off of me and have my good life back. I was really confident and social and now i fear leaving my home or even take the trash out.
Thank you if you can read and answer.
@@lauriina85 Same here. I feel a total mess. Losing my 9 year relationship. I self medicated 8 months ago for financial, professional and relationship struggles that lead me to insomnia. Now I don't have anything and I can see that everything had a solution but just couldn't see it. Now I don't have nothing and can hardly sleep on 10 mg of Valium. I feel like I don't want to live anymore but I don't want to leave my family and girlfriend in grief. I'm 40 years old and feel with brain damage which I don't know how much will take to heal. This is really hard.
4 years foe me. Will I ever heal?
I’m almost 3 I noticed it got worse with adding coffee back. Ffs I get no joy in life. I’ve been told keto makes it stop because it stabilises blood sugar
Can your adrenals repair themselves?
Guys for everybody here how i got rid of my extreme morning anxiety and depression. Lithium oratate was a game changer. I tried everything for 8 months and this was the jackpot
What dose? I started 8 weeks ago on 5mg. Upped to 10mg after 4 weeks...no change. Started 15mg this week...fingers crossed!
@@watsonmcelveen58 15 mg should be enough
Also kratom is very benifical for anxiety
@@arthurv4401 i'm all over kratom. it's ok....biggest problem with it is that the whites, green and some reds either cause or exacerbate my head pressure/headaches. i'm staying very well hydrated with electrolytes and using Mg L-threonate daily. been using for about a year and still don't have a very solid regimen for it. i know it's an individual thing, but any advice on K would be greatly appreciated!
@@arthurv4401 thanks! i'm maybe, possibly starting to see some bene's with 15mg. may go to 20mg, but that's as far as i wil go
25 years klonopin for me. Did you have any boaty, rocking, swaying sensations that went away eventually ?
25yrs here too...Kpin (among others like Xanax and Ativan). It all fades. I think soon I might be sleeping again normally too. I've been off benzos for around 18 months (not counting, just an educated guess).
The boat I call it yes!! Look up ATAXIA. I'm 2yrs into taper, the boat is the worst. Also being pushed through the floor feeling. It's damage to the cerebellum brain. Does get better...very slowly. Worst feeling.
Did you ever use Niacinamide or NAD+, or any amino acids or herbs they say not to use?
I Did Ryan, I Talk about Them on The Podcast on the Channel. The One that is 1:18 long. I forget title Right Now.
@@phileichinger1532 I don't see the podcast on your channel. I was only on xanax for 3 months and I am 9 months in on a cold turkey withdrawal. I just had a setback and it is so tough for my family who just doesn't understand any of it and thinks it is all in my head. I agree with you on timing and symptoms and I am trying to do that now. I have 7 books on wellness, EMDR, cognitive thinking and I am still having a hard time with the fear of all of this. I am very happy that I found your videos as they may help better than anything else I have researched.
@@dwealling how r u now
@@sangeetalambh6389 better. I found a candida overgrowth and leaky gut. I'm 3 months in on a cleanse and finally getting back to normal.
@@dwealling did u feel emptyness or depersonalization
Do you follow a 12 step program?
I Do. For Me. My Roadmap for Happiness. For Me.
I only took klonopim for 3 weeks and Im on the 3rd month of intense withdrawls. Feels like im fucked
Find somebody to help you get through this if you need to. Reach out for help. It's out there. You will get through it. If I learned anything from my c/t benzo withdrawal it's that the brain heals in it's time, not ours. If you need any referrals to websites that promote drug information & withdrawal don't hesitate to ask.
@@smilemor-phony5964 Ya man Im making good progress so far. Still have painful symptoms but they seem to be fading slowly. Hopfully by 6 months il be ok. Im 23 years old so I think being young is helping me heal alot. Nights are the worst cortisol surges, toxic naps. I prolly wake up 20 times a night and pace. Then the days get better.
@@swaggstaful - well I sure am glad to hear you're doing alright. You're young & healthy, that's an added plus! Work with your sleep issues. It just never ceases to amaze me to hear people taking them short-term experiencing the same horrid withdrawals that us long-termers experience. Like Johnathon Wagner in Lisa Lings 'The Benzo Crisis'. I consider benzodiazepines to be the most dangerous drugs on the planet. Take care of yourself, and yes, you most certainly will get better. Once off the drugs, we get even 'better' than better.
@@smilemor-phony5964 Ya man that only thing that is scaring me is I got put on 25mg of seroquel when I was in the hospital. I cant seem to get off it while im withdrawling from benzos. Im praying coming off this later when im healed will be nothing like benzos.
@@smilemor-phony5964 I really hope so brother.Im starting to forget what its like to be a normal human being these symptoms are horrendus
What do you think about GABUPETIN, coming off BENZO?
I am taking 1 maybe 2 per nite to sleep helps alittle - still take Advil pm with it like I hv for yrs -- even when I took the Xanax .5 mg at nite always took the Advil
Pm as well -- but Gabapentin was prescribed for my lupus/sjogrens / auto immune disease -- but after script -- read all it’s used for and the come off. Some people start at low dose within few months up to 1800 mg per day -- so didn’t take as prescribed was afraid after benzo Xanax withdrawl --never ever again so playing with 1 maybe 2 each -100 mg too sleep hear that little dose won’t be a prob. Coming off - they say -- again they say doctors don’t get this benzo withdrawl or they don’t want to know or learn or just plan don’t know what to do for it. - So be careful if you try just remember some people say no problem coming off at all it’s not a benzo -- it’s not narcotic just research .
@@caffrey1100 don’t worry about it until you get off benzo then taper your of medicine ❤️🙏
@James Iration are you still tapering off benzo
No Gabupentin! It causes more Anxiety! Just make PINK HIMALAYAN SALT WATER & guzzle it in morning & ALL DAY!
"I can’t give you advice because I have no idea of your situation, I can only speak for myself. That said. Once I accepted the Pain was going to Be a Big and Brutal piece of my recovery., I Surrendered and Fully Accepted what was Going On. After 30 years on Benzos, there was going to a reckoning and it was going to Hurt. After Acceptance, I knew intuitively when I reached my absolute, can’t go on, this is dangerous Breaking Point. At those times (3 or 4 times over the first 3 years clean), yes, I used Gabepentin Twice and Kratom a few times. I know myself and my pain thresholds better than anyone and was not going to go back to Benzos or let myself get get stuck on alternative addictive solutions. My head was straight. I was ready., but yes, a few times I needed something so I didn’t crack. I’m not as Strong as Most, I knew what I had to do. And did it. May 4 will be 4 years after 30 year Benzo addiction which most of you know thru my TH-cam videos and recent PodCast I did with Geraldine Burns."
I hate my Dr. fordoing😢this to me
What happened to this gentleman? I do not see anything new .
Doing Great Steve, I will be getting a studio put together to do some live interaction and new content here in 2024. I moved from Philadelphia to San Antonio.
I am interested to know if you have dealt with the cause of your anxiety to begin with. Do you deal with what errors cause anxiety in humans on this channel? Are you under the impression that your chosen method of making money is unrelated to your "psych illness"? Thx. I am retired 33yr Psych Nurse/USAVet from Millionaires CircusTown. I am here because you gave advice to a suicidal person in Facebook. I am more interested in humanity dealing with the root causes of our anxiety, dude. I will be watching. Do you think your income level has no correlation to your "psych illness"? Thx for your bravery to be here!🙏💔👼
Hello Linda, I am Grateful for your comments. Unfortunately, I cannot give advice to people as everyone is so very different. What we do try to do here is share Our Own Personal Experiences, Support the heck out of each other and share What happened, What it was Like, how we are today, and Hope for tomorrow. Thank you for your perspective, I certainly wish you the best. Phil.
@@phileichinger1532 That's great. Do you live in Sarasota too?
@@phileichinger1532 That sounds like an AI program churned response. I have many bot friends. Bots are cool. You like bots too? Thx for chat!
I took Clonazepam for 3 and a half years, they were different doses, I got to take 4-6 mg per day but my last dose was 1 mg. I stopped taking it almost at once, my psychiatrist told me that I could reduce 1 mg to 0.25 in just 5 days and stop. I have been free for 12 months, my symptoms are, extreme paranoia 24/7 (I think everyone looks at me, even at home with my own family I am paranoid), agoraphobia (I hardly leave my house, the few times I go out it is by bicycle because I feel less observed), depersonalization, derealization, fear of everything, even my own shadow, feeling short of breath, completely blurred vision (I have no focus with my vision), sensitivity to noise, extreme anxiety to the point of not being able to watch TV or play a computer game, tachycardia, akathisia, anger/rage, stiff neck, feet and hands, irritability, intrusive thoughts, obsessions. ¿Can someone tell me if one day I will be able to be my normal self again without thinking that all people are looking at me, without agoraphobia, etc? I would give anything to have a normal life.
We all heal. Unfortuatley it can be long for some people but we do heal. I promise
Aah aum ahh