My husband and I had it going on, house, kids, dog, lots of laughs and adventures with our boys. I'd still be with him if he hadn't died (he was 39), I will miss him forever. In the 15 yrs I've been widowed I had one guy try to hit me up. He was looking for a nurse with a purse, brought nothing to the table, he was broke, physically, emotionally and financially... I'm not looking to support and then bury another one on my dime, funerals are expensive, the next one I pay for will be my own. The rest of the men my age appear to be looking for something a LOT younger. My 57 yr old self will just hole up with my cat and my hobbies, we're good.
I’ll tell you what people are doing! Nothing! Other than gambling, drinking too much, partaking of illicit drugs? People have no hobbies, they are on social media which has totally effed up so many. No one is authentic. No one is mindful-/heck, they have no idea what that even means. It’s so very sad.
I disagree that she's "not good" as you say. I was in almost the exact same situation.. I lost my husband when I was 48. Had two.children and my MIL depending on me. I had a good job thankfy. I was not interested. In the LEAST to.start dating again. I knew I would have no time for anyone e!we who would be dependent on me emotionally. I'm now 64, retired, my kids are out on their own and im.content. I do not need a man in my life to make me happy, I make my own happiness.
Yeah. Those people that use your happiness like a drug fix. The second you have any other emotion ,the mask comes off. many use people like a bank account. Withdrawing everything, but depositing nothing,bankruptcy. OR Use you to get over an ex . Yawn.... I no longer look. Dating websites are seriously scary. Doesn't matter how many times you say I don't want hook ups , I don't do drugs ,I don't drink ,I don't want d Piz...they still ask in first message ..or explicitly say what they want to do to me. Then wonder why I signed out. .no thanks . I wouldn't ghost Hawk 😂 but live across the planet
My cats lie (I haven't been fed yet) steal (her plate looks better) & cheat (I can go out anytime I want to run between Moms legs) - and STILL they're better companions than my ex
I had an otherwise trustworthy cat who I swear would do the feline equivalent of sucking in his cheeks to look skinnier when demanding food. And we've all seen cats who successfully bluff other members of the household into providing another breakfast, by alleging they are starving and haven't been fed in days if not weeks! But otherwise cats are pretty straightforward.
Widowed at 49. My 23-year marriage to that narcissist was a nightmare. I wouldn't mind having a male friend to be intimate with, go on vacations, movies, out to dinner, etc... but I will NEVER live with another man, let alone marry one.
Same here. I was married for 23 years and my marriage was very toxic. Everytime I tried to leave he threatened to take himself life and then he did. I am in a private group with thousands and thousands of suicide loss spouses that 99% of those whose marriages were as toxic as mine
Oh hell no no way not dating anybody with the red hats! And I can and cannot believe that the woman Hawk was talking about the woman who lets a man pay her bills.. that is wrong. She can't pay her own bills there's a big red flag. I am totally 100% self-sufficient I don't have a big six digit salary I'm just your average person and if that's not good enough well then too bad so sad for you
In my dating profile my only requirements for a man was he should be liberal or progressive and if you support trump kindly swipe left. So many men were like “really? You would miss out on love over politics?” A) you didn’t follow the instructions. B) I would never love a trump supporter
l'll add some hope here. My wife and I have been together for 38 years in June. My heart still beats a little faster when she walks in the room. Not bragging. It takes work. But when all the shit starts to get to me and I turn to the "why me" of things, I remember I was given a great love instead of great wealth. I'll keep my girl.
Glad you recognize how fortunate you are. And, I do think fate or luck or whatever you want to name it, plays a part. The questions here are more related, IMO, what would you do or where would you be if your lifelong love died or was no longer there for some reason.
I THINK CELL PHONES JUST MADE IT EASIER TO CHEAT & HIDE THE EVIDENCE. I WOULDN'T BE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP UNLESS WE HAD THE PASSCODES TO EACH OTHER'S PHONES, CUZ I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO HIDE. BUT THEN HE'D HAVE ACCESS TO MY BANK ACCOUNT & SOCIAL SECURITY INFO, SO THAT'S A TERRIBLE WAY TO FIND OUT YOU CAN'T TRUST SOMEONE. AND HE COULD JUST HAVE A SEPERATE PHONE HE USES FOR CHEATING, SO NO. I'M OUT. IT TAKES 3 YRS TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE'S TRUE CHARACTER & I GOT OUT OF THE LAST ONE IN HALF THE TIME JUST DAYS AFTER HE SUGGESTED WE GO SHOPPING FOR RINGS & GET MARRIED IN THE SPRING OF 2021 AFTER WE GOT THE COVID VACCINE. HE VOTED FOR BIDEN WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER BUT HAS BECOME A tRUMPLIKKKAN & VOTED FOR tRUMP THIS TIME. HIS MOTHER ISN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT EITHER BCUZ SHE'S A LIFELONG DEMOCRAT. SO I REALLY DODGED A BULLET THERE!
Dating is so discouraging. I'm 47, divorced, no kids, dont need anyone to pay my bills, and on paper my life is great. Unfortunately I'm the kind of person who feels like the greatest things in life are made better by sharing them with someone special. But for now i remind myself everyday that it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.
@@Daisy_lynn11 I'm in a similar situation, and definitely feel the same, but you're absolutely right about that last part too. I live a VERY solitary life, but I never feel one tenth as lonely now, as I did when I was married. Having the freedom to be who you actually are is a truly precious gift. And honestly, I've gotten much more used to being alone over the past couple years. Having the world's most emotionally needy cat helps a lot. 😅 I think the thing that bothers me the most is thinking about wasted potential. I am a person who has a LOT of love to give, and the fact that no one is receiving that care attention and passion feels very sad to me. But we don't choose our fate. We just get to decide how we respond to it. Anyway, whatever happens, I wish you lots of happiness in the future. ✌🏻
@@Cat-tastrophee And I'm SO happy that young women are gettting that now because when I was 16 in the 70's my mother tried to marry me off to a guy in his 40's- she said it was a 'great match'. Our mothers and grandmothers weren't doing us all favours back then- at least not in my personal experience of the culture at the time. Too many mothers were touting large age gap relationships as 'safe and stable' instead of predatory.
Exactly. Men today think they are hot sh*t with nose & ear hair long enough to braid & have the nerve to treat me ugly while they sleep with kids young enough to be their granddaughter. Mental illness is such a turn off. 🤢
Almost how I feel. I've lived alone for so long I'm tired of living alone. It's okay I guess if you have a lot of friends and you work even if you work part-time and you have a big family that takes up a lot of time... But I keep trying to think maybe there is somebody out there, and my cat just doesn't want to seem to go anywhere with me😅😅
The spool of wire got me too... 😢 If I lived in California i would try to meet you, if only to hang out... Your sense of humor and laughter... Golden! ❤ of music Honestly don't understand why you're single...i think you're hot... Don't give up Hawk...
Same. 3 yrs ago I escaped a real psycho who held me hostage in my own life for 20 yrs. I will never give another human access to hurt me again. Not happening. At 63 the rest of my life is about mellow times without stress. Don’t need anyone or ask for anything but to be left in peace.
My neighbors celebrated their 75 wedding anniversary and still held hand and looked at each other with so much adoration. It was amazing to be part of that.
It's great advice. I'm 54, been widowed for 8 years, have never dated in that time, yet I have a great bunch of mixed-gender friends, and I enjoy really rewarding platonic relationships with them all. We attend shows together, go to wineries, meet for dinner and drinks, and so on. From the men in the group, I get all the benefits of male companionship without any of the innuendo or pressure of partnering up. It's actually ideal for me. I wish more people got to experience the joys of platonic relationships with the gender they're normally attracted to. It'd be a much better world if all men actually genuinely liked women, and women could feel safe around all men.
I highly recommend meetup for this purpose. Been on that site for close to twenty years and have made many friends over shared activities. In my case it's mostly dining out at ethnic restaurants but there are groups for every possible interest.
Yes! There is an app called Time Left where you can sign up to have dinner on a Wednesday night with 5 strangers. They are very adamant about not being a dating site, so you get to meet and spend an evening with interesting people that you have something in common with. I'm married, but I still do it because I've only lived in my city for 3 years and I work from home, so I haven't met many people.
@@serendipityshopnyc Meetup is great. Joining clubs is as well. I joined a few mostly male dominated clubs and it’s great. I enjoy hanging with men. I’m not interested in dating but it’s fun and safe to hang with like minded people.
When my husband of 25 years died when he was 55, I was going to sit and wait to die. Then I started seeing a therapist. Decided to start seeing a guy I met online, fell for him, was ghosted after 13 months....so it was just me and my cat. Then the 21 year old cat died. LOL. So here I am. A childless catless lady.
😂 The exact convo I and 3 divorced friends had, over mimosa's, on Christmas Day, watching rain and waves pound the beach. We're all accomplished grandmothers living exciting lives - on our terms 🍾 🥂 🎉.
Every self sufficient woman I know says they will never marry again. That someone to go to the movies or dinner would be nice, but they want a platonic friend not any sort of partner.
I was married to a control frwak for 17 years. I had to get out tonsave my sanity. Best thing I ever did. I have a male platonic friend. We both know that's all it will ever be. And that is fine with us. We have similar interests and we enjoy each other's company in short bursts. We have been there for each other with minor financial help over the years. It's been a win-win for us both. Nothing wrong with being single. I like not answering to anybody but myself.
Add me to your list. Been on my own for nearly 20 years after kicking my abusive, cheating husband to the curb. The 14 years of pain in the marriage convinced me, and I'm not risking my happiness just to be paired up with someone. A dinner/movie companion would be nice occasionally, but I'm not searching for it. If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, I'll be fine with just my 4 cats and my circle of church friends.
I enjoyed dating, but never dated at work, needed a job more. I never needed a bill payer, maybe because I worked at my job. I turned my back on men with the rise of maggots. Men started "interviewing" me, and I asked a guy at work about that. He claimed they need help with bills. Now. Right now. Yesterday. Ummmmm, I paid off my own mortgage and don't want to pay another one. I have a garden and food forest and hobbies. I'm old, if I want a rescue I will rescue another pupper. Old women like me also get old guys who want a nurse with a checkbook. I just don't commit to a stranger who wants to pick my pocket. I had fun back in the day, lucky me
Makes me think about a story on Reddit where a woman used to give her credit card to her BF when it was time to pay at restaurants because he was too broke but still wanted to look like a "provider". This is why the best self defence for a woman is cultivating her own self worth. This crap only works if women are willing to entertain it.
Almost my story, except for dating or having fun. My opinion of men is bad, women too. The exceptions of each are therefore greater. Enjoy your peace, notice the quietly extraordinary. Rock On
My opinion of humans is pretty bad. I avoid the majority, when in town I smile and move on. My secret ingredient was and still is, slow down. A bum's rush is a red flag.
Fantastic comment of yours "I'm old, if I want a rescue I will rescue another pupper".🤣 My rescue dogs never cheat on me and aren't always on the lookout for younger owners to trade me in for.
Not Everyone. Just keep it guarded. Getting ready to throw my phone away Though. I think alot how everything went downhill due to the internet. Want to get back to conversation face to face. I know this seems far - fetched but you won't know til you try.
Exactly! More than a “mental health crisis,” I think we are having a *values* crisis. And it has nothing to do with religion; religious belief is not necessary for compassion, honesty, loyalty, or integrity. Like any ideology, capitalism is vulnerable to corruption, and we are reaping the consequences of that as *everything* today seems to be monetized, from basic healthcare and environment conservation to relationships. I doubt there’ll be a way back in our lifetime.
Get off Tic Toc Hawk that's not the real world. There's a lot of good people out there who just want to have a great companion for dinner, movies, coffee, drinks, and some adventures along the way. After our 50's you don't need to remarry but if you want a partner/companion in a grown up world they're out there. In the meantime you gotta laugh like Hell at what's in front of us. Never date anyone that doesn't have a good sense of humor.
I think we get too much information. People rarely go on tictoc to talk about their happy relationship (at least not in a believable way). We know too much about the bad things that happen, just like it seams there are more disasters than in the "old days". It is not. It is just that if someone hurts his toe on the other side of the world, we hear about it. Happiness does not sell as the opposite does.
Where? Where are these men? Every man I meet is looking for either free sex or a nurse with a purse. You can't even get a man to talk to you for three months without him pressuring you for sex. Tik Tok is the real world for better or worse.
@@indigowolf556 It’s not how people used to meet. We met at work, places of worship, clubs- horticulture, bowling, etc., through friends and relatives, etc. Dating apps are dangerous imo. Definitely not getting the cream of the crop.
My maternal grandparents were high school sweethearts who married 6 months after graduating, in 1904. Had three children in their 20s and died still blissfully wed within 6 months of each other, aged 93. This is literally the only example of such a relationship I have personally observed in my 72 years on this planet.
I'm with ya. I'm 60,1 grown child, self sufficient , and have been single for the past 28 years. About 5 years ago I thought it would be nice to have someone to go out to eat with, attend a concert or play etc. Man... it was tough. Decided I'm just fine continuing on my own
Hahaha! We seem to be living the same life! My ex decided he preferred his mistress when I was 4 months pregnant. Our daughter is now 27 and finishing up her PhD. I raised her all by myself, since he didn’t want to have a relationship with her. I am also 60, but I never even tried to have any other relationship-too many trust issues (therapist said he was a sex addict and didn’t want to change). Anyway, I am perfectly happy with my child and my cat.🤣
@elizabethmena9839 pretty close to the same life 😂 my daughter is 30 her dad left when she was 2 and I didn't have time to date while raising her. When she left home I thought maybe a companion might be nice but hell no! I'm good by myself
Me too. I just would like someone to go see a movie or spend the day going garage saling that can be fun. The people just don't seem to understand that when you are dating you're getting to know that other person what they're like what they think about things what they feel do you have anything that resonates and people don't get it
I joined a Meetup group of amazing and like-minded women to have people to do fun things with. It's worked out. We do dinners, brunches, shows, misc fun activities and festivals. I've found that just cultivating friendships and building a community of women is better. And I still have peace in my home.
We are communal creatures so compassion and empathy are essential for a healthy society. We currently live in a society where compassion and empathy are devalued and considered weaknesses. That is how you end up with this sort of behaviour and ultimately this is detrimental to our whole species.
I was thinking this very thing this morning. That if people are going to be mean, it can't last forever because it usually spells doom. Let's hope we snap out of this sooner rather than later
I am living the single life and SMILING about it; it's a BLESSING to be completely honest. I've had people in my life constantly asking me why I'M still single and they've tried to set me up on dates which did nothing but make me angry and upset. I've always told them that I am single cause I CHOOSE to be single because I don't want to be "tied down" (as I call it) and that I enjoy having my freedom. Big difference btwn being ALONE and being LONELY, one thing I am NOT....is LONELY
I've been with my fella almost 16 years. We've been through the death of my sister, my brother-in-law, my father, his mother; through the pandemic, and worked through my significant issues with depression. We're 54 (me) and 55 (him). We met, took things slowly, and hashed out everything at the front: No cheating. No abuse. No kids, no plans on marriage, but we are each other's person. He is a good, honest, decent man. I am a good, honest, decent woman. We respect each other and actually enjoy each other's company. We have similar interests, and we plan on being buried next to each other. It's out there, but good relationships don't seem to get a much traction as crazy, viral-worthy shenanigans.
In 2009, I decided to take a dating hiatus for one year. After that year, I decided to extend it another year because I really enjoyed it. It's been 15 years and I can't even imagine being in a relationship. I am 55.
I'm at 14 years and am more at peace then I ever was married. Not interested in dating, bc no matter how well you vet people most mask their true self until you're too far into the relationship to make a clean and quick getaway.
Instead of dating, I invested that energy into myself. I put myself through grad school, bought a home, paid off my debt and raised my son who's now successful in his own right. Didn't get any help. And when i come home with a rescue pup, I don't need permission to do so. A relationship should evolve organically; otherwise, it's a lot of work. Marriage was the hardest job I'd ever had in my life. A peaceful existence should be the end goal; be it solo or in a partnership.
You said it - marriage is the hardest job ever. And I now have 11 rescue animals and no man to tell me I can't keep helping animals in need. I can and I will and no one is here to bitch about it. 😂
Yeah, recently, I tried to adopt out some kittens that I rescued and I had a terrible time. I still have all of them because I couldn’t find a single person who didn’t have to ask permission from daddy before she could take a kitten and I didn’t get a single man. Call me to adopt one.
@@chelsea_1961 We have a “stray” cat. Showed up at our place 3 years ago right when we lost our last cat. She was 20. I guess he’d been on the streets for 10 years. We installed a cat door for him and he comes and goes as he pleases. Mostly he sleeps indoors with one of us.
I think so, too. There is nothing "likeworthy" about spending most evenings together on the sofa watching TV, taking the dogs for a walk, having a meal together at home.
It’s in Canada too. Thrown in the pandemic and people who were a tad “quirky” and not just nut jobs. Anti science and pro Trumpism. Women who are pro Trump, it’s an oxymoron.
@@Xtracoolnerd Me too.🇨🇦It’s not just an American issue. It might be a world wide problem. People love the wealthy. They don’t look at character anymore, they look at the bank accounts. I wouldn’t spend one minute with 45 nor would I accept one of my kids spending time with him or any of his associates. They’re all🤮🤮
Dating and workplace culture have functionally blown out due to the same basic reasoning. Deception, greed, and an unwillingness to build mutual trust. Your analysis and incredulity is spot on.
Yes, deception (unfortunately, it's usually men) is a big reason why I think a lot of women do not want to date. Too many men are only interested in their "needs" instead of building a trusting friendship.
In my teens and 20’s without cell phones, internet, social media none of that distracting bs, we had things to do and places to go. We went out dancing, skating, arcades and we met people had conversations face to face. Where do people go now?
They go wandering around phone in hand, hide in alleys phone in hand, are found in corners phone in hand, occupy toilet stalls much longer than necessary phone in hand! I really feel for this era of dysfunction it's changed the world and not for the better!
I'm 73,and I met my life partner when I was 50. Both of us were never married (still aren't) and childless. After many disastrous relationships, I can tell you that in order to find someone to be with, never compromise your values and be straight with your perspective partner. He's my best friend. Also, you'd have to be out of your mind using a dating ap.
I don’t fit in to today’s dating scene. I turned 50 in August and gave it an honest go. I lost my husband four years ago and the men my age are looking for 30-year-olds with their faces full of injections, not women like me who are loyal, a homebody and is happiest when I’m in the kitchen. ❤
I was fortunate enough to marry the love of my life when I was 17 (he was 20) we were married for 36 years but never had children (couldn’t) we would’ve been married 47 years by now. We were happy until cancer took him.
Me too. I do have to say that I have 2 incredible sons both young adult men who have zero interest in dating because they don’t like the women their age because these girls are so shallow and immature and stupid. That’s a quote from both of them. I’m soooo proud of them for not being led to believe that they HAVE to date and accept that these young women have no desire for a deep relationship.
When my second wife died and I finally started looking for another mate I tried a couple of dating sites. Looked at thousands of profiles. Contacted maybe two. No go. Went to buy cat food. Met my next wife. GO FIGGER
I have tried to talk to several people at stores; if they work there I try to be particularly careful since they're a captive audience, but have had absolutley zero luck in trying to strike up any semblance of a conversation
If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Sometimes you dont' even have to go outside. I know someone who met their now husband when the guy reached out to her on FB (they used to go to the same high school decades prior).
I’m so happy to be a spinster! 😊. Women are sharing their stories and telling on these men. Word is getting around. Also women are tired of being afraid.
For me it is meeting people while doing the things I love: walking my dog, music concerts and travel and also meeting those in my profession (education). If we have those things in common, then it has a chance to go to the next level.
Age appropriate men. Don’t want to be with an equal. I am 64 and i have 40 year olds in my bed. It’s a mess. But the 60 something’s dont want me. Super messed up. Sad. And yes dating is gone all hook ups. No one is truly honest or intimate and its trauma, from the loss of relationship. People need therapy. And it’s not happening enough. People just fall back into the patterns they had in the collapsed relationship, they don’t learn or evolve, or there’s just predatory stuff.
Let's be honest - most men at 64 are falling apart physically, since so few men take good care of themselves and their health. They're often pretty conservative too, in all things including sex. If the 40 year olds are flocking your way, and they're bringing you joy, then what's the harm? Just as long as you don't become their mommy, free therapist or bank account. But yeah, it's tough out there in general if you're looking for an honest and true connection. Too much unprocessed trauma, and the whole patriarchy thing isn't helping, either.
@@Queenofcore The USA just voted for a g/rapist, felon. He shouldn’t have been allowed to run for president let alone be sworn in. He has broken all the laws and no one is stopping it. What does anyone except as a result?
64 years old, and I don't need anyone messing up my life. I'm agree, never seen more than 4 people in functioning relationships that look even half way acceptable. Most are dumpster fires.
Okay so i know that this is probably gonna be a hot take, but women dating for actual fun and love is new relatively speaking. Most women especially, married for money because they weren't able to get a bank account until 1974. it's also why they didn't leave their husbands when they we getting beating or they poisoned them.
I am 72. I have never dated anyone looking for their money. I remember what my mother went through when she was a recently divorced woman. It was a nightmare. Fortunately my brother was able to house her for nothing and helped her get back on her feet financially and emotionally. Both of my parents grew up in the depression. They often had very little to eat. My mother had two skirts and two blouses to her name and I think two pair of shoes. Everyone did odd jobs, had small gardens, kept chickens and economized as much as they could. Both of my parents told all four of us, three girls and one boy, to get some kind of training or education. It did not have to be college, but being able to make money was crucial. They remembered their hardships. Fast forward to 1979. I married my husband for love. Neither of us were rich. My husband respected me, was my friend and lover and husband, and when he died I was devastated. I was warned by friends to look out for men who would try to use my modest income, to be a leach. Then I also had a good friend of my deceased husband, who hinted at dating and sexual relationship 5 weeks after his death. I bolted out of that restaurant as fast as I could and dumped a bunch of cash on the table. I tried dating apps for one year. What a nightmare! Another thing to consider is the reason women have been forced to stay with their husbands, even if they are domestic violence perpetrators, is because no woman has enough money to buy or rent a home, afford child care if necessary, and often gets fired if they call in because one of their kids is sick. I see this so often as a therapist, even a week ago, with a woman who is married over 20 years to a horrible man and cannot afford to leave him. This is basic. Women are still not paid in line with men's income. It has changed very little since I was 20.
As if men don’t demand women have full-time employment before they want to date them. Because these days the only pressure a man has on his life, is to get up and put on some pants to cover up his junk. He can quit his job anytime he wants because the little lady is working in a full-time job so he can just hop from job to job to find the perfect one while she has to suffer being the rock of stability for the family while she takes care of the house Feeds everybody birth the kids and raised them all by herself because he’s not gonna do it. He’s too busy trying to find any excuse to get away from her. I read a statistic that 80s percent of men cheat and I think that is a low estimate and it’s more like 98% of men cheat. So when you know that you’re going to be a single mom anyway and you’ve only got a small amount of time with this person you damn straight he should be well employed.
That's true. Now that so many women are self-sufficient, they can pick and choose who they spend time with and in what relationship form that is. Most men are not ok with a woman who has that kind of power, isn't submissive and doesn't need them, really. It's not ego-boosting enough for a woman to simply choose them for a time period of her choice, so they don't even appreciate that gift. Their level of entitlement to women's time, energy and sexuality is sickening. Glad to be ♀️♀️
I’m out too. I got divorced in 2014, moved in with my single older sister and we are both happy and have two dogs. We travel together, go to concerts together and support our local musicians too. I’m very content.
I was married in 1974 at the age of 24 - 'we just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary - two children later - both married with one granddaughter and another grandchild on the way..............NEVER EVER thought I would ever get old - but WE DID - and my husband has cancer that is incurable - We love each other VERY MUCH - getting older together was NOT always easy..........we were ALWAYS busy - the kids came FIRST and now we look at a world that has turned UPSIDE down and commiserate with our friends who are still here also......Hawk - you are one INSIGHTFUL 56 year old............I hope you find your best EVER friend and share a future together - because I would not be who I am today - without my husband of 50 years - and all the memories - we are still able to make - together - GOOD LUCK my friend - keep posting = this 74 year old loves what you have to say.
There are so many things that have collided to destroy daring and relationships - social media, politics, Reality TV. Since my divorce I don’t recognize the world anymore. Single is easier. Even many of my friendships feel strained. I find it all heart breaking but have hope it’s just a phase in time.
I'm 34, never married, no kids, even though it's always been a dream of mine. There have been men who have wanted to marry me, but I never saw in them the maturity and strength of character I would need to be happy in a lifetime partnership with them, especially if kids are involved. Many men I know don't seem to want to make the sacrifices needed to be a good husband and father. I still have hope, but I'm channeling my energy into bettering myself. Oh, and I never want to go on dating apps again. It is a hellscape of fkboys, faux feminists, and redpilled manosphere nutjobs. I'd rather stay single, thanks.
Widowed. 64. Two adult boys. Wayyyyy too introverted to date so I’ll likely be alone the rest of my life. Which mostly I’m fine with. But there are those times you miss being able to share things. And the weird part is it’s not the hard times but the good times that make it really hard to be alone.
Dogs are the best! Have a cat too. He is sleeping next to my shoulder & snoring right now. At 12MN he’ll demand to be let outside, even though it’s pouring rain. Then he’ll glare out at the storm & take off. At least my little dogs will sleep quietly under the covers all night. 🥰🐶🥰🐈⬛
I was married 36 years. My husband passed away. We were so happy for decades. Then this moderate guy gradually fell down a rathole of propaganda about women. We were partners who both worked and who had known each other since we were young. Then he slowly became convinced I was his enemy. Really? These outside influences are making us enemies for a reason. Divide and conquer. The misery these assholes have foisted upon us for financial gain is criminal.
I left when the love of my life died. It was traumatic and heartbreaking in ways I wasn’t truly prepared for. Tried once to get back in, the only guy I dated resented me for not being needier. I figured I was done. The love of my life died in 2015. Found and started dating the weirdo in 2018. Broke up in 2020, and never looked back. I’m 42, and have always been comfortable on my own, so being single is my default. I prefer it! Fewer headaches!
I agree 100% that people are broken. I work in family law, so I get to hear about ALL the bad behavior of broken people. After 25+ years of it I am so jaded about people it’s ridiculous.
It is absolutely impossible to date. Dating apps are terrible and filled with scammers and fake people and absolutely horrible. It seems impossible to meet any quality person in the real world either. It is so hopeless. You are absolutely correct.
I tried online dating for a number of years after my divorce. So much self-entitlement and cheaters. Gave up a couple of years ago and feel I will be alone the rest of my life. Which is fine. I retire in a little over a month, will travel for a bit and then get another pet. I'm more concerned about my son who at 32 really struggles to meet someone. I'm glad he at least has very good friends.
It is exceptionally difficult to find people who define ‘dating’ and ‘relationship’ in remotely the same ballpark as oneself. If you find it, tend and care for it because it is a rare and beautiful thing to experience real love
Thank you for your voice. ☮️ Seems like you are saying a truth, bro. Younger folks craving a companion are having a hard time. Screen time doesn't equal reality. Sad, but true❄️✨
You're absolutely right, Hawk. I've been divorced longer than I was married. Tried dating for several years, but got tired of it. People are living too much of their private lives on social media. I see things online about people I know that should be kept private. One of my young (early 30's), married coworkers confessed to a porn addiction on FB. Why? Why? I'm 65 now & stay home with my dogs, crafting & whatnot. I was raised in a time when you didn't put everything out there, couples kept things between them. My mouth fell open when you talked about the girl saying her bills were paid when she was dating. Both sexes need to stand on their own & stop this bs. Have respect for yourself and be respectful to anyone you're with. Quit the lying & the cheating & the games. And parents, if you want your children to get into stable relationships, try modeling that for them. I'll get off my soap box now. 😂
It's not just the US, same here in the UK. I'm also out. 54 and been single for six years, and no desire to change that. I've got my fur babies and my hobbies, and that's all I need or want. Just had a wonderfully relaxed Christmas, no drama, no arguments, no bad atmosphere... absolute heavenly bliss 😊. I do feel sorry for young people looking for love and family - everyone seems to be a player or egomaniac, or both. No thank you, I'm alright, ta 😂.
I hear you. I'm 57. I've been put off of dating here in the U.S. for quite some time. You're a cutie pie. I hope you find contentment in whatever way that is ❤❤❤❤
@@Yoyo-u2p Bingo. The current guy was zooming down the street, saw me at a yard sale, looped around to meet in person. We're in a slow courtship thing now that's just perfect.
You are not alone, Hawk, dating these days sucks at any age. I was married for 22 years to a naval officer that abandoned the family because he “didn’t want to deal with family problems” (sic). During an 11 year separation I had the chance to look into the dating pool and was taken aback, and now that we are so politically divided it’s even worse. I’m 64 now, just bought my post-divorce house and will be spending my time remodeling and decorating it without having to argue with anyone, along with many hobbies and the priceless company of several pets. I simply enjoy my solitude, but I would love being your friend if I lived nearby.
I have been single with the exception of some very short-term relationships for almost 20 years. I have put considerable effort into finding someone via the dating sites, via the sports and other activities I'm involved in, via business connections and I've essentially come up empty-handed. When people ask now about my love life, I tell them that there's probably just as much chance that a partner will follow the sky and hit me as there is a chance that I will find someone with all of my effort. I also tell them that I try to spend as much time outside as I can, to increase the odds that someone falls out of the sky and hits me. 😎
I don't date so no advice there but I can tell you a LOT of women are looking for lavender relationships right now. Sometimes companionship is more fulfilling than romance
I've been there brother. Let me try to help. Do you see where you used the word "alone"? That's incorrect. You've been single. You've been single you're entire life. Saying alone points to feeling lonely. Do you think people in marriages and long-term relationships don't get lonely? Single people tend to be slightly happier than married people, actually (unless it's a man and it's the first marriage, they're a little happier. A little). Furthermore, there is a religion in our culture based on the necessity of romantic love for happiness. It's around 150 years old. Is this religion based in reality? No. With romantic love, there's about a six to twelve month "honeymoon" or "limerence" period then you're lucky if you're good friends, which often isn't the case. Talk to straight people about their marriages sometime. Listen to a woman who has been emotionally abused for her narcissist husband for decades and is left financially devasted by their divorce at age 38, with two young children she's parenting alone. Do you think she's "comforted" by the knowledge she hasn't been single? She's in the bigger nightmare IMHO. Happiness has to come from within. And love is all around you if you let yourself see it (from your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers). Romantic love is a wonderful, unique experience and I'm sorry you haven't gotten to yet. But this "nightmare" narrative you have is feeding your own unhappiness. The "It's just not fair" of it all. And it's true, life isn't fair: but it's going to be okay anyway. Paradoxically, people who are self-fulfilled, who want a partner but don't need one, tend to attract them better. (If you're going to commit suicide if your partner leaves you or dies on you, is that really a healthy relationship?) Finally: geography. Are you in a rural area? If dating is important to you, you have the opportunity to move somewhere with more opportunities for dating other men. It's your choice. That's what I got. It took my like half an hour to write lmao.
Yeah. My ex-husband and I were together for 17 years. Likeable guy, firm handshake, but a nightmare behind closed doors. Then I dated a guy who thought since I am an accountant, I have money. He found someone else when he realized his mistake. Met a wonderful man who loved me and my kids, but he died suddenly. I think I am done now.
Done since 2016. Wasn't a conscious decision so much as my break from it became longer and longer...too many fking turds for sure..and I realized the peace and energy for life I gained was more important. Got my greyhound, my home, good job, tunes, and good cups of coffee.
Oh my gosh - you have me howling ! We’re the same age and I’m from the Midwest too - just cracking me up! I quit dating at 48 - then COVID hit - and I have adjusted and love my peace. I’ve been in therapy for the past 5 years - so I made good with the time - and I found my issues and have and can continue to work on em - that’s it - I’m good - thanks!
Yeah, I'm out too. Been happily divorced since 1983, been in relationships over the years. Now at age 66, I'm more than happy to be single. Nothing like a little company every once in awhile though. I guess the main thing is whatever makes you happy.
Quit dating 11 years ago. Men my age need a nurse or mommy type. I'm very happy being single. I've been there, done that. No one paid my bills, I've always taken care of myself. I did have a little help a few times from a guy I dated. But that was just that one sweet person out of the countless men I dated. Most men just needed someone with money to boost his money. Or they were looking for someone to help raise their kids or fill their void. And through it all, at 53, I decided to ride the rest of my life alone. I'm happy, I miss nothing about being in a relationship. There are 2% good people out there who are worth dating, and then you can only hope you're attracted to them. 😂😂😂
After almost 30 years I left. Took a couple of years to get myself organized to leave. I have dogs, I have friends and peace. No kids on purpose. The serenity is priceless.
Dating is a waste. You're hunting for something in the Walmart of fake attraction. True love finds itself without effort and without even looking. One day, you'll walk by or meet someone you've never met or noticed, and suddenly, things just click without effort. Your morphic fields match.That's when you know you'll want to be with that person for the rest of your life, and that's when you'll attain true happiness. I lost that true love after almost 40 years of happy marriage, and no one on earth will ever come close to replacing that.
I stopped dating years ago. I can't imagine altering my life to create space for another person for the pleasure of being treated like crap.The man that could get me to change my mind about being in a relationship doesn't exist.
My husband and I have been married for 40 yrs. We are opposites of each other in many ways yet those differences have made us better as a whole. We are not perfect and some of our arguments have lit up the sky like the northern lights. But I think my husband summed it up best. I asked him one day why we made it so many years and he looked me in the eye and said because I made a vow to you and it's the most important thing I've ever done. So when I'm frustrated or annoyed with him I remember what he told me that day and I realize it is the most important thing I have ever done too. And I fall in love all over again.
We DO exist. My husband and I have been together for almost 25 years, raised our kids, and we are still absolutely in love. I adore him, and he constantly reminds me how important I am to him. We laugh together daily, we have no scandals. I have no idea how I got so damn lucky, and I am so grateful to have found him. I am also SO GLAD I am not in the dating pool! These people are frickin' crazy!
It’s a multitude of things that you can’t just pinpoint one reason. And I think people have lost their morale compass and values and have replaced it with personal greed
My husband and I had it going on, house, kids, dog, lots of laughs and adventures with our boys. I'd still be with him if he hadn't died (he was 39), I will miss him forever. In the 15 yrs I've been widowed I had one guy try to hit me up. He was looking for a nurse with a purse, brought nothing to the table, he was broke, physically, emotionally and financially... I'm not looking to support and then bury another one on my dime, funerals are expensive, the next one I pay for will be my own. The rest of the men my age appear to be looking for something a LOT younger. My 57 yr old self will just hole up with my cat and my hobbies, we're good.
The fact you posted this says your not good. Your just not settling. Hope you find love once again
Yes!! A nurse and a purse
I’ll tell you what people are doing! Nothing! Other than gambling, drinking too much, partaking of illicit drugs? People have no hobbies, they are on social media which has totally effed up so many. No one is authentic. No one is mindful-/heck, they have no idea what that even means. It’s so very sad.
I disagree that she's "not good" as you say. I was in almost the exact same situation.. I lost my husband when I was 48. Had two.children and my MIL depending on me. I had a good job thankfy. I was not interested. In the LEAST to.start dating again. I knew I would have no time for anyone e!we who would be dependent on me emotionally. I'm now 64, retired, my kids are out on their own and im.content. I do not need a man in my life to make me happy, I make my own happiness.
😢🕊️🕊️🕊️ sorry for your loss
I am done too. Tired of picking out toxic people. I have my cat and he doesn't lie, steal or cheat.
EXACTLY!
Yeah. Those people that use your happiness like a drug fix. The second you have any other emotion ,the mask comes off. many use people like a bank account. Withdrawing everything, but depositing nothing,bankruptcy. OR Use you to get over an ex . Yawn.... I no longer look. Dating websites are seriously scary. Doesn't matter how many times you say I don't want hook ups , I don't do drugs ,I don't drink ,I don't want d Piz...they still ask in first message ..or explicitly say what they want to do to me. Then wonder why I signed out. .no thanks .
I wouldn't ghost Hawk 😂 but live across the planet
Cat Dad here, I love mine, she’s very cute and great company 🐱❤️
My cats lie (I haven't been fed yet) steal (her plate looks better) & cheat (I can go out anytime I want to run between Moms legs) - and STILL they're better companions than my ex
I had an otherwise trustworthy cat who I swear would do the feline equivalent of sucking in his cheeks to look skinnier when demanding food. And we've all seen cats who successfully bluff other members of the household into providing another breakfast, by alleging they are starving and haven't been fed in days if not weeks! But otherwise cats are pretty straightforward.
Some people say that the most important human invention was the wheel.
They are wrong. It was the deadbolt.
😎 absolutely.
Love this
So true
😂😂😂I hear you!
Love it 😂
Widowed at 49. My 23-year marriage to that narcissist was a nightmare. I wouldn't mind having a male friend to be intimate with, go on vacations, movies, out to dinner, etc... but I will NEVER live with another man, let alone marry one.
Same! Just not worth losing the peace gained from being alone
Amen, sister, you're singing my song. Put in 20 years and learned the hard way "better to be alone than wish you were".
So, friends with benefits!
Same here. I was married for 23 years and my marriage was very toxic. Everytime I tried to leave he threatened to take himself life and then he did. I am in a private group with thousands and thousands of suicide loss spouses that 99% of those whose marriages were as toxic as mine
Same here, sister!
*No MAGA folks for me!!*
Oh hell no no way not dating anybody with the red hats! And I can and cannot believe that the woman Hawk was talking about the woman who lets a man pay her bills.. that is wrong. She can't pay her own bills there's a big red flag. I am totally 100% self-sufficient I don't have a big six digit salary I'm just your average person and if that's not good enough well then too bad so sad for you
ME EITHER!
Agreed…it’s unfortunate that there are some very attractive ones…But does that mean I would?, no, my bar is a little higher set than that.
That's a red flag that you'll be manipulated like that.
In my dating profile my only requirements for a man was he should be liberal or progressive and if you support trump kindly swipe left. So many men were like “really? You would miss out on love over politics?” A) you didn’t follow the instructions. B) I would never love a trump supporter
l'll add some hope here. My wife and I have been together for 38 years in June. My heart still beats a little faster when she walks in the room. Not bragging. It takes work. But when all the shit starts to get to me and I turn to the "why me" of things, I remember I was given a great love instead of great wealth. I'll keep my girl.
Glad you recognize how fortunate you are. And, I do think fate or luck or whatever you want to name it, plays a part.
The questions here are more related, IMO, what would you do or where would you be if your lifelong love died or was no longer there for some reason.
Wonder if she'd say the same? 😆😆😆
That’s beautiful. BLESSED are you!
In my humble opinion, when texting got big, it was the beginning of the end of interpersonal communication skills. It's terrible.
I agree sometimes these abbreviations I have to look it up and see what it means I'm clueless
I THINK CELL PHONES JUST MADE IT EASIER TO CHEAT & HIDE THE EVIDENCE. I WOULDN'T BE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP UNLESS WE HAD THE PASSCODES TO EACH OTHER'S PHONES, CUZ I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO HIDE. BUT THEN HE'D HAVE ACCESS TO MY BANK ACCOUNT & SOCIAL SECURITY INFO, SO THAT'S A TERRIBLE WAY TO FIND OUT YOU CAN'T TRUST SOMEONE. AND HE COULD JUST HAVE A SEPERATE PHONE HE USES FOR CHEATING, SO NO. I'M OUT. IT TAKES 3 YRS TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE'S TRUE CHARACTER & I GOT OUT OF THE LAST ONE IN HALF THE TIME JUST DAYS AFTER HE SUGGESTED WE GO SHOPPING FOR RINGS & GET MARRIED IN THE SPRING OF 2021 AFTER WE GOT THE COVID VACCINE. HE VOTED FOR BIDEN WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER BUT HAS BECOME A tRUMPLIKKKAN & VOTED FOR tRUMP THIS TIME. HIS MOTHER ISN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT EITHER BCUZ SHE'S A LIFELONG DEMOCRAT. SO I REALLY DODGED A BULLET THERE!
@@indigowolf556You are not alone.
Yup.
So true
Dating is so discouraging. I'm 47, divorced, no kids, dont need anyone to pay my bills, and on paper my life is great. Unfortunately I'm the kind of person who feels like the greatest things in life are made better by sharing them with someone special. But for now i remind myself everyday that it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.
@@Daisy_lynn11 I'm in a similar situation, and definitely feel the same, but you're absolutely right about that last part too. I live a VERY solitary life, but I never feel one tenth as lonely now, as I did when I was married. Having the freedom to be who you actually are is a truly precious gift. And honestly, I've gotten much more used to being alone over the past couple years. Having the world's most emotionally needy cat helps a lot. 😅
I think the thing that bothers me the most is thinking about wasted potential. I am a person who has a LOT of love to give, and the fact that no one is receiving that care attention and passion feels very sad to me. But we don't choose our fate. We just get to decide how we respond to it. Anyway, whatever happens, I wish you lots of happiness in the future. ✌🏻
It’s so bad especially for women in our 50’s because age-compatible men are chasing women in their 30’s. Just saying
And trust me, we want nothing to do with them 🤢
So true
@@Cat-tastrophee And I'm SO happy that young women are gettting that now because when I was 16 in the 70's my mother tried to marry me off to a guy in his 40's- she said it was a 'great match'. Our mothers and grandmothers weren't doing us all favours back then- at least not in my personal experience of the culture at the time. Too many mothers were touting large age gap relationships as 'safe and stable' instead of predatory.
Cc Hawk
Exactly. Men today think they are hot sh*t with nose & ear hair long enough to braid & have the nerve to treat me ugly while they sleep with kids young enough to be their granddaughter. Mental illness is such a turn off. 🤢
I have been out for four years. I am so happy to control my own life. Not looking. 65years and happy with my pups and my hobbies. 😊
Same, I've been out since Covid, 61 and never been happier… Although I would date Hawk if he was interested??
Almost how I feel. I've lived alone for so long I'm tired of living alone. It's okay I guess if you have a lot of friends and you work even if you work part-time and you have a big family that takes up a lot of time...
But I keep trying to think maybe there is somebody out there, and my cat just doesn't want to seem to go anywhere with me😅😅
The spool of wire got me too... 😢
If I lived in California i would try to meet you, if only to hang out... Your sense of humor and laughter... Golden! ❤ of music
Honestly don't understand why you're single...i think you're hot... Don't give up Hawk...
Same. 3 yrs ago I escaped a real psycho who held me hostage in my own life for 20 yrs. I will never give another human access to hurt me again. Not happening. At 63 the rest of my life is about mellow times without stress. Don’t need anyone or ask for anything but to be left in peace.
I'd much rather be single than in a terrible relationship. 58 never married, no kids. I'm good
My neighbors celebrated their 75 wedding anniversary and still held hand and looked at each other with so much adoration. It was amazing to be part of that.
❤
Beautiful! 🙌🏽❤️🙌🏽
Here’s a thought. Be open to friendships of any gender but don’t look for a partner. If you are lucky you’ll have companionship without pressure.
It's great advice. I'm 54, been widowed for 8 years, have never dated in that time, yet I have a great bunch of mixed-gender friends, and I enjoy really rewarding platonic relationships with them all. We attend shows together, go to wineries, meet for dinner and drinks, and so on.
From the men in the group, I get all the benefits of male companionship without any of the innuendo or pressure of partnering up. It's actually ideal for me.
I wish more people got to experience the joys of platonic relationships with the gender they're normally attracted to. It'd be a much better world if all men actually genuinely liked women, and women could feel safe around all men.
I highly recommend meetup for this purpose. Been on that site for close to twenty years and have made many friends over shared activities. In my case it's mostly dining out at ethnic restaurants but there are groups for every possible interest.
Men aren't friends with women.
Yes! There is an app called Time Left where you can sign up to have dinner on a Wednesday night with 5 strangers. They are very adamant about not being a dating site, so you get to meet and spend an evening with interesting people that you have something in common with. I'm married, but I still do it because I've only lived in my city for 3 years and I work from home, so I haven't met many people.
@@serendipityshopnyc
Meetup is great. Joining clubs is as well. I joined a few mostly male dominated clubs and it’s great. I enjoy hanging with men. I’m not interested in dating but it’s fun and safe to hang with like minded people.
Dating isn't worth it.
Nope
Dating is not permitted in Elonia Muskrat's Gilead, so you're ahead of the game!!
@@carlynnmcnally5681
Can you imagine life being dictated by a freak like him? Oh wait…♥️🇨🇦
@@carlynnmcnally5681 🤣😂😂🤣😂
@@carlynnmcnally5681 You will enjoy the government sanctioned partnership and you will like it! 😂
When my husband of 25 years died when he was 55, I was going to sit and wait to die. Then I started seeing a therapist. Decided to start seeing a guy I met online, fell for him, was ghosted after 13 months....so it was just me and my cat. Then the 21 year old cat died. LOL. So here I am. A childless catless lady.
I hope you have community, and that if you don't you find the right one for you. 💛
🥹🐈🐈⬛🐕
What is it with men ghosting? I'm an adult, certainly not clingy. If you don't want to see me anymore just say so.
Losing your 21 year old cat must have been so sad, hope you find another cat soon.
@@317susan He lived in Atlanta, about 2 hours from me, and I had no way to know if he was even alive. It was cruel.
I have a dog that likes me, so I've got that going for me... which is nice.
What about Bob?
Dogs love 💘 Rabbits 🐇
😂 The exact convo I and 3 divorced friends had, over mimosa's, on Christmas Day, watching rain and waves pound the beach. We're all accomplished grandmothers living exciting lives - on our terms 🍾 🥂 🎉.
Every self sufficient woman I know says they will never marry again. That someone to go to the movies or dinner would be nice, but they want a platonic friend not any sort of partner.
I was married to a control frwak for 17 years. I had to get out tonsave my sanity. Best thing I ever did. I have a male platonic friend. We both know that's all it will ever be. And that is fine with us. We have similar interests and we enjoy each other's company in short bursts. We have been there for each other with minor financial help over the years. It's been a win-win for us both. Nothing wrong with being single. I like not answering to anybody but myself.
Add me to your list. Been on my own for nearly 20 years after kicking my abusive, cheating husband to the curb. The 14 years of pain in the marriage convinced me, and I'm not risking my happiness just to be paired up with someone. A dinner/movie companion would be nice occasionally, but I'm not searching for it. If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, I'll be fine with just my 4 cats and my circle of church friends.
That exactly describes me. Will never marry again, but an occasional dinner date would be nice.
I’m luckily happily married BUT if I ever found myself single I’d never ever marry again. Never.
They can do that with friends! lol a movie?! That’s no big ask from a friend I hope she gets closer friends! 😢
I enjoyed dating, but never dated at work, needed a job more. I never needed a bill payer, maybe because I worked at my job.
I turned my back on men with the rise of maggots. Men started "interviewing" me, and I asked a guy at work about that. He claimed they need help with bills. Now. Right now. Yesterday. Ummmmm, I paid off my own mortgage and don't want to pay another one.
I have a garden and food forest and hobbies. I'm old, if I want a rescue I will rescue another pupper.
Old women like me also get old guys who want a nurse with a checkbook.
I just don't commit to a stranger who wants to pick my pocket.
I had fun back in the day, lucky me
Makes me think about a story on Reddit where a woman used to give her credit card to her BF when it was time to pay at restaurants because he was too broke but still wanted to look like a "provider". This is why the best self defence for a woman is cultivating her own self worth. This crap only works if women are willing to entertain it.
Almost my story, except for dating or having fun. My opinion of men is bad, women too. The exceptions of each are therefore greater. Enjoy your peace, notice the quietly extraordinary. Rock On
My opinion of humans is pretty bad. I avoid the majority, when in town I smile and move on. My secret ingredient was and still is, slow down. A bum's rush is a red flag.
Fantastic comment of yours "I'm old, if I want a rescue I will rescue another pupper".🤣 My rescue dogs never cheat on me and aren't always on the lookout for younger owners to trade me in for.
People are heartless now a days, they have taken the corporate mindset and applied it to their personal lives. 😅
Yes, this. Many are transactional and always looking for a "promotion" to a new or different "role."
Not Everyone. Just keep it guarded. Getting ready to throw my phone away
Though. I think alot how everything went downhill due to the internet. Want to get back to conversation face to face. I know this seems far - fetched but you won't know til you try.
Exactly! More than a “mental health crisis,” I think we are having a *values* crisis. And it has nothing to do with religion; religious belief is not necessary for compassion, honesty, loyalty, or integrity. Like any ideology, capitalism is vulnerable to corruption, and we are reaping the consequences of that as *everything* today seems to be monetized, from basic healthcare and environment conservation to relationships. I doubt there’ll be a way back in our lifetime.
Yes exactly
Get off Tic Toc Hawk that's not the real world. There's a lot of good people out there who just want to have a great companion for dinner, movies, coffee, drinks, and some adventures along the way. After our 50's you don't need to remarry but if you want a partner/companion in a grown up world they're out there. In the meantime you gotta laugh like Hell at what's in front of us. Never date anyone that doesn't have a good sense of humor.
I think we get too much information. People rarely go on tictoc to talk about their happy relationship (at least not in a believable way). We know too much about the bad things that happen, just like it seams there are more disasters than in the "old days". It is not. It is just that if someone hurts his toe on the other side of the world, we hear about it. Happiness does not sell as the opposite does.
Unfortunately it is the real world.
Where? Where are these men? Every man I meet is looking for either free sex or a nurse with a purse. You can't even get a man to talk to you for three months without him pressuring you for sex. Tik Tok is the real world for better or worse.
I'm 54 and I quit dating ten years ago. It's such a nightmare out there. You cannot trust anyone.
Agreed I just turned 64 but back in the day when all of those dating sites were popular I always got the weirdos
@@indigowolf556 I think that's because they're all pretty much weirdos...😂
@@indigowolf556
It’s not how people used to meet. We met at work, places of worship, clubs- horticulture, bowling, etc., through friends and relatives, etc.
Dating apps are dangerous imo. Definitely not getting the cream of the crop.
@@catalhuyuk7 a lot of those dating apps are scams. Especially the ones that require a subscription. I refuse to use a dating app.
I'm 51. Been single and celibate for 4 years. I'm much more relaxed and happy..
My maternal grandparents were high school sweethearts who married 6 months after graduating, in 1904. Had three children in their 20s and died still blissfully wed within 6 months of each other, aged 93. This is literally the only example of such a relationship I have personally observed in my 72 years on this planet.
I'm with ya. I'm 60,1 grown child, self sufficient , and have been single for the past 28 years. About 5 years ago I thought it would be nice to have someone to go out to eat with, attend a concert or play etc. Man... it was tough. Decided I'm just fine continuing on my own
Hahaha! We seem to be living the same life! My ex decided he preferred his mistress when I was 4 months pregnant. Our daughter is now 27 and finishing up her PhD. I raised her all by myself, since he didn’t want to have a relationship with her. I am also 60, but I never even tried to have any other relationship-too many trust issues (therapist said he was a sex addict and didn’t want to change). Anyway, I am perfectly happy with my child and my cat.🤣
@elizabethmena9839 pretty close to the same life 😂 my daughter is 30 her dad left when she was 2 and I didn't have time to date while raising her. When she left home I thought maybe a companion might be nice but hell no! I'm good by myself
Me too. I just would like someone to go see a movie or spend the day going garage saling that can be fun. The people just don't seem to understand that when you are dating you're getting to know that other person what they're like what they think about things what they feel do you have anything that resonates and people don't get it
@@indigowolf556
A very good therapist said don’t have sex for the first year. That is a better way to start a relationship. Sex clouds your judgement.
I joined a Meetup group of amazing and like-minded women to have people to do fun things with. It's worked out. We do dinners, brunches, shows, misc fun activities and festivals. I've found that just cultivating friendships and building a community of women is better. And I still have peace in my home.
We are communal creatures so compassion and empathy are essential for a healthy society. We currently live in a society where compassion and empathy are devalued and considered weaknesses. That is how you end up with this sort of behaviour and ultimately this is detrimental to our whole species.
@@asdusty4372
💯🎯
I was thinking this very thing this morning. That if people are going to be mean, it can't last forever because it usually spells doom. Let's hope we snap out of this sooner rather than later
Sadly, true.
I am living the single life and SMILING about it; it's a BLESSING to be completely honest.
I've had people in my life constantly asking me why I'M still single and they've tried to set me up on dates which did nothing but make me angry and upset. I've always told them that I am single cause I CHOOSE to be single because I don't want to be "tied down" (as I call it) and that I enjoy having my freedom. Big difference btwn being ALONE and being LONELY, one thing I am NOT....is LONELY
I've been with my fella almost 16 years. We've been through the death of my sister, my brother-in-law, my father, his mother; through the pandemic, and worked through my significant issues with depression.
We're 54 (me) and 55 (him). We met, took things slowly, and hashed out everything at the front: No cheating. No abuse. No kids, no plans on marriage, but we are each other's person.
He is a good, honest, decent man. I am a good, honest, decent woman.
We respect each other and actually enjoy each other's company. We have similar interests, and we plan on being buried next to each other. It's out there, but good relationships don't seem to get a much traction as crazy, viral-worthy shenanigans.
In 2009, I decided to take a dating hiatus for one year. After that year, I decided to extend it another year because I really enjoyed it. It's been 15 years and I can't even imagine being in a relationship. I am 55.
Yep, right there with you!
I'm at 14 years and am more at peace then I ever was married. Not interested in dating, bc no matter how well you vet people most mask their true self until you're too far into the relationship to make a clean and quick getaway.
I'm with you!
Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way!
How’s the lotion treating you?
Instead of dating, I invested that energy into myself. I put myself through grad school, bought a home, paid off my debt and raised my son who's now successful in his own right. Didn't get any help. And when i come home with a rescue pup, I don't need permission to do so. A relationship should evolve organically; otherwise, it's a lot of work. Marriage was the hardest job I'd ever had in my life. A peaceful existence should be the end goal; be it solo or in a partnership.
You said it - marriage is the hardest job ever. And I now have 11 rescue animals and no man to tell me I can't keep helping animals in need. I can and I will and no one is here to bitch about it. 😂
Yeah, recently, I tried to adopt out some kittens that I rescued and I had a terrible time. I still have all of them because I couldn’t find a single person who didn’t have to ask permission from daddy before she could take a kitten and I didn’t get a single man. Call me to adopt one.
@@chelsea_1961
We have a “stray” cat. Showed up at our place 3 years ago right when we lost our last cat. She was 20. I guess he’d been on the streets for 10 years. We installed a cat door for him and he comes and goes as he pleases. Mostly he sleeps indoors with one of us.
I so agree with you!
Happy couples don’t brag as it’s not entertaining.
I think so, too. There is nothing "likeworthy" about spending most evenings together on the sofa watching TV, taking the dogs for a walk, having a meal together at home.
I'm happy with my two cats and they don't even care that I rarely shave my legs!😂
It’s in Canada too. Thrown in the pandemic and people who were a tad “quirky” and not just nut jobs. Anti science and pro Trumpism. Women who are pro Trump, it’s an oxymoron.
Women who are pro Trump. Black and Latino people who are pro Trump. Gay people who are pro Trump. Lemmings.
Agree with this entire statement 🇨🇦 here
@@Xtracoolnerd
Me too.🇨🇦It’s not just an American issue. It might be a world wide problem. People love the wealthy. They don’t look at character anymore, they look at the bank accounts. I wouldn’t spend one minute with 45 nor would I accept one of my kids spending time with him or any of his associates. They’re all🤮🤮
I’ve been happily divorced a lot longer than I was unhappily married.
Dating and workplace culture have functionally blown out due to the same basic reasoning. Deception, greed, and an unwillingness to build mutual trust. Your analysis and incredulity is spot on.
Yes, deception (unfortunately, it's usually men) is a big reason why I think a lot of women do not want to date. Too many men are only interested in their "needs" instead of building a trusting friendship.
It all reminds me of the Taylor Swift song "Something bad"
I've got a cat that looks at me with luv in his eyes.😻 What more can I need?😊
In my teens and 20’s without cell phones, internet, social media none of that distracting bs, we had things to do and places to go.
We went out dancing, skating, arcades and we met people had conversations face to face. Where do people go now?
They go wandering around phone in hand, hide in alleys phone in hand, are found in corners phone in hand, occupy toilet stalls much longer than necessary phone in hand! I really feel for this era of dysfunction it's changed the world and not for the better!
I'm 73,and I met my life partner when I was 50. Both of us were never married (still aren't) and childless. After many disastrous relationships, I can tell you that in order to find someone to be with, never compromise your values and be straight with your perspective partner.
He's my best friend. Also, you'd have to be out of your mind using a dating ap.
Good for you! Sounds great.
I don’t fit in to today’s dating scene. I turned 50 in August and gave it an honest go. I lost my husband four years ago and the men my age are looking for 30-year-olds with their faces full of injections, not women like me who are loyal, a homebody and is happiest when I’m in the kitchen. ❤
Same. I like to stay home and cook, but apparently men want porn stars who look 25 forever. Pass.
I was fortunate enough to marry the love of my life when I was 17 (he was 20) we were married for 36 years but never had children (couldn’t) we would’ve been married 47 years by now. We were happy until cancer took him.
I’m sorry for your loss. And pleased to read that you experienced deep love. Blessed are you
I could care less about dating and I'm more than ok. 😁.
Same
Me too. I do have to say that I have 2 incredible sons both young adult men who have zero interest in dating because they don’t like the women their age because these girls are so shallow and immature and stupid. That’s a quote from both of them. I’m soooo proud of them for not being led to believe that they HAVE to date and accept that these young women have no desire for a deep relationship.
*couldn't care less ?
Meet my sister! She gets tired of guys just lazily texting, “hey”.
I have an unladylike response to a text like that.
When my second wife died and I finally started looking for another mate I tried a couple of dating sites. Looked at thousands of profiles. Contacted maybe two. No go. Went to buy cat food. Met my next wife. GO FIGGER
The cat distribution system did an Uno reverse. Haha! Congrats!
I have tried to talk to several people at stores; if they work there I try to be particularly careful since they're a captive audience, but have had absolutley zero luck in trying to strike up any semblance of a conversation
When you aren't looking, that's when it happens.
If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Sometimes you dont' even have to go outside. I know someone who met their now husband when the guy reached out to her on FB (they used to go to the same high school decades prior).
That is pretty awesome. Maybe I'm going to the wrong grocery store😊 course I live in a small town there's only one..
I’m so happy to be a spinster! 😊. Women are sharing their stories and telling on these men. Word is getting around. Also women are tired of being afraid.
For me it is meeting people while doing the things I love: walking my dog, music concerts and travel and also meeting those in my profession (education). If we have those things in common, then it has a chance to go to the next level.
Age appropriate men. Don’t want to be with an equal. I am 64 and i have 40 year olds in my bed. It’s a mess. But the 60 something’s dont want me. Super messed up. Sad. And yes dating is gone all hook ups. No one is truly honest or intimate and its trauma, from the loss of relationship. People need therapy. And it’s not happening enough. People just fall back into the patterns they had in the collapsed relationship, they don’t learn or evolve, or there’s just predatory stuff.
Let's be honest - most men at 64 are falling apart physically, since so few men take good care of themselves and their health. They're often pretty conservative too, in all things including sex. If the 40 year olds are flocking your way, and they're bringing you joy, then what's the harm? Just as long as you don't become their mommy, free therapist or bank account. But yeah, it's tough out there in general if you're looking for an honest and true connection. Too much unprocessed trauma, and the whole patriarchy thing isn't helping, either.
@@Queenofcore
The USA just voted for a g/rapist, felon. He shouldn’t have been allowed to run for president let alone be sworn in. He has broken all the laws and no one is stopping it. What does anyone except as a result?
64 years old, and I don't need anyone messing up my life.
I'm agree, never seen more than 4 people in functioning relationships that look even half way acceptable. Most are dumpster fires.
Okay so i know that this is probably gonna be a hot take, but women dating for actual fun and love is new relatively speaking. Most women especially, married for money because they weren't able to get a bank account until 1974. it's also why they didn't leave their husbands when they we getting beating or they poisoned them.
I am 72. I have never dated anyone looking for their money. I remember what my mother went through when she was a recently divorced woman. It was a nightmare. Fortunately my brother was able to house her for nothing and helped her get back on her feet financially and emotionally. Both of my parents grew up in the depression. They often had very little to eat. My mother had two skirts and two blouses to her name and I think two pair of shoes. Everyone did odd jobs, had small gardens, kept chickens and economized as much as they could. Both of my parents told all four of us, three girls and one boy, to get some kind of training or education. It did not have to be college, but being able to make money was crucial. They remembered their hardships.
Fast forward to 1979. I married my husband for love. Neither of us were rich. My husband respected me, was my friend and lover and husband, and when he died I was devastated.
I was warned by friends to look out for men who would try to use my modest income, to be a leach. Then I also had a good friend of my deceased husband, who hinted at dating and sexual relationship 5 weeks after his death. I bolted out of that restaurant as fast as I could and dumped a bunch of cash on the table.
I tried dating apps for one year. What a nightmare!
Another thing to consider is the reason women have been forced to stay with their husbands, even if they are domestic violence perpetrators, is because no woman has enough money to buy or rent a home, afford child care if necessary, and often gets fired if they call in because one of their kids is sick. I see this so often as a therapist, even a week ago, with a woman who is married over 20 years to a horrible man and cannot afford to leave him.
This is basic. Women are still not paid in line with men's income. It has changed very little since I was 20.
As if men don’t demand women have full-time employment before they want to date them. Because these days the only pressure a man has on his life, is to get up and put on some pants to cover up his junk. He can quit his job anytime he wants because the little lady is working in a full-time job so he can just hop from job to job to find the perfect one while she has to suffer being the rock of stability for the family while she takes care of the house Feeds everybody birth the kids and raised them all by herself because he’s not gonna do it. He’s too busy trying to find any excuse to get away from her. I read a statistic that 80s percent of men cheat and I think that is a low estimate and it’s more like 98% of men cheat. So when you know that you’re going to be a single mom anyway and you’ve only got a small amount of time with this person you damn straight he should be well employed.
@@blitzblotch many MAGA men want this again - they can’t handle women being independent
That's true. Now that so many women are self-sufficient, they can pick and choose who they spend time with and in what relationship form that is. Most men are not ok with a woman who has that kind of power, isn't submissive and doesn't need them, really. It's not ego-boosting enough for a woman to simply choose them for a time period of her choice, so they don't even appreciate that gift. Their level of entitlement to women's time, energy and sexuality is sickening. Glad to be ♀️♀️
I have a mental disorder, never been in a relationship in my life. You get use to it
Me too. I'm closed for business. I'm done!
I’m out too. I got divorced in 2014, moved in with my single older sister and we are both happy and have two dogs. We travel together, go to concerts together and support our local musicians too. I’m very content.
I was married in 1974 at the age of 24 - 'we just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary - two children later - both married with one granddaughter and another grandchild on the way..............NEVER EVER thought I would ever get old - but WE DID - and my husband has cancer that is incurable - We love each other VERY MUCH - getting older together was NOT always easy..........we were ALWAYS busy - the kids came FIRST and now we look at a world that has turned UPSIDE down and commiserate with our friends who are still here also......Hawk - you are one INSIGHTFUL 56 year old............I hope you find your best EVER friend and share a future together - because I would not be who I am today - without my husband of 50 years - and all the memories - we are still able to make - together - GOOD LUCK my friend - keep posting = this 74 year old loves what you have to say.
Sounds like you've had a wonderful blessed life. You will get through this.
Had a good laugh with you over the fish pic. Lol. We all should be working on our selves. Stay away from dating apps and enjoy your life.
There are so many things that have collided to destroy daring and relationships - social media, politics, Reality TV. Since my divorce I don’t recognize the world anymore. Single is easier. Even many of my friendships feel strained. I find it all heart breaking but have hope it’s just a phase in time.
I'm 34, never married, no kids, even though it's always been a dream of mine. There have been men who have wanted to marry me, but I never saw in them the maturity and strength of character I would need to be happy in a lifetime partnership with them, especially if kids are involved. Many men I know don't seem to want to make the sacrifices needed to be a good husband and father. I still have hope, but I'm channeling my energy into bettering myself.
Oh, and I never want to go on dating apps again. It is a hellscape of fkboys, faux feminists, and redpilled manosphere nutjobs. I'd rather stay single, thanks.
Widowed. 64. Two adult boys. Wayyyyy too introverted to date so I’ll likely be alone the rest of my life. Which mostly I’m fine with. But there are those times you miss being able to share things. And the weird part is it’s not the hard times but the good times that make it really hard to be alone.
Word...
Single is so peaceful 😌 🕊️
Dogs are the best! Have a cat too. He is sleeping next to my shoulder & snoring right now. At 12MN he’ll demand to be let outside, even though it’s pouring rain. Then he’ll glare out at the storm & take off. At least my little dogs will sleep quietly under the covers all night. 🥰🐶🥰🐈⬛
I was married 36 years. My husband passed away. We were so happy for decades. Then this moderate guy gradually fell down a rathole of propaganda about women. We were partners who both worked and who had known each other since we were young. Then he slowly became convinced I was his enemy. Really? These outside influences are making us enemies for a reason. Divide and conquer. The misery these assholes have foisted upon us for financial gain is criminal.
My now ex husband went down the same rabbit hole. Hence the word ex. I’m so sorry you had to go through it too.
I left when the love of my life died. It was traumatic and heartbreaking in ways I wasn’t truly prepared for. Tried once to get back in, the only guy I dated resented me for not being needier. I figured I was done. The love of my life died in 2015. Found and started dating the weirdo in 2018. Broke up in 2020, and never looked back. I’m 42, and have always been comfortable on my own, so being single is my default. I prefer it! Fewer headaches!
Hawk, you sound like my kinda guy!!! But you're TOTALLY spot on about the state of affairs of the human race in this country. It's very sad.
I think Hawk is kind of cute...lawyer, no kids, loves dogs, likes long walks and pizza...AND he's musically-inclined. 😍
Don't forget, sensible!
Except he loves his snake! 😵💫
@@susanbracken4237
He has a snake?
And decorates for Christmas!🎄🎄🎄😁
@@catalhuyuk7 search in his podcasts for “Buttercup”
I agree 100% that people are broken. I work in family law, so I get to hear about ALL the bad behavior of broken people. After 25+ years of it I am so jaded about people it’s ridiculous.
Hahaha I couldn't bear the horror of family law, but loved Intellectual Property Law, did that for 26 years.
Definitely avoid men with a double life, it’s the worst. ❤
People are scary. Period.
Very scary
It is absolutely impossible to date. Dating apps are terrible and filled with scammers and fake people and absolutely horrible. It seems impossible to meet any quality person in the real world either. It is so hopeless. You are absolutely correct.
I tried online dating for a number of years after my divorce. So much self-entitlement and cheaters. Gave up a couple of years ago and feel I will be alone the rest of my life. Which is fine. I retire in a little over a month, will travel for a bit and then get another pet. I'm more concerned about my son who at 32 really struggles to meet someone. I'm glad he at least has very good friends.
It is exceptionally difficult to find people who define ‘dating’ and ‘relationship’ in remotely the same ballpark as oneself. If you find it, tend and care for it because it is a rare and beautiful thing to experience real love
Thank you for your voice. ☮️ Seems like you are saying a truth, bro. Younger folks craving a companion are having a hard time. Screen time doesn't equal reality. Sad, but true❄️✨
Love ya Hawk. 100% agree
You're absolutely right, Hawk. I've been divorced longer than I was married. Tried dating for several years, but got tired of it. People are living too much of their private lives on social media. I see things online about people I know that should be kept private. One of my young (early 30's), married coworkers confessed to a porn addiction on FB. Why? Why? I'm 65 now & stay home with my dogs, crafting & whatnot. I was raised in a time when you didn't put everything out there, couples kept things between them. My mouth fell open when you talked about the girl saying her bills were paid when she was dating. Both sexes need to stand on their own & stop this bs. Have respect for yourself and be respectful to anyone you're with. Quit the lying & the cheating & the games. And parents, if you want your children to get into stable relationships, try modeling that for them. I'll get off my soap box now. 😂
It's not just the US, same here in the UK. I'm also out. 54 and been single for six years, and no desire to change that. I've got my fur babies and my hobbies, and that's all I need or want. Just had a wonderfully relaxed Christmas, no drama, no arguments, no bad atmosphere... absolute heavenly bliss 😊. I do feel sorry for young people looking for love and family - everyone seems to be a player or egomaniac, or both. No thank you, I'm alright, ta 😂.
I hear you. I'm 57. I've been put off of dating here in the U.S. for quite some time.
You're a cutie pie. I hope you find contentment in whatever way that is ❤❤❤❤
Uggh, I've never dated online and don't intend to. Still meeting people the old-fashioned way.
Still the best way to meet, also my opinion!
@@Yoyo-u2p Bingo. The current guy was zooming down the street, saw me at a yard sale, looped around to meet in person. We're in a slow courtship thing now that's just perfect.
I’m a widow four years out, no kids and I don’t see myself dating. I’m enjoying being by myself.
Same ❤
You are not alone, Hawk, dating these days sucks at any age. I was married for 22 years to a naval officer that abandoned the family because he “didn’t want to deal with family problems” (sic). During an 11 year separation I had the chance to look into the dating pool and was taken aback, and now that we are so politically divided it’s even worse. I’m 64 now, just bought my post-divorce house and will be spending my time remodeling and decorating it without having to argue with anyone, along with many hobbies and the priceless company of several pets. I simply enjoy my solitude, but I would love being your friend if I lived nearby.
I have been single with the exception of some very short-term relationships for almost 20 years. I have put considerable effort into finding someone via the dating sites, via the sports and other activities I'm involved in, via business connections and I've essentially come up empty-handed. When people ask now about my love life, I tell them that there's probably just as much chance that a partner will follow the sky and hit me as there is a chance that I will find someone with all of my effort. I also tell them that I try to spend as much time outside as I can, to increase the odds that someone falls out of the sky and hits me. 😎
I’m a 40 year old gay man who has been alone his entire life and I am yearning for a soul mate and it’s a complete nightmare.
I don't date so no advice there but I can tell you a LOT of women are looking for lavender relationships right now. Sometimes companionship is more fulfilling than romance
@@obsoleteelite8258
If you’re looking for a soul mate and no one has a soul, you’re not going to find one.
Have you ever dated? I haven't, but I'm younger.
I'm sorry. You're still young. Maybe the area you live in isn't working for you.
I've been there brother.
Let me try to help.
Do you see where you used the word "alone"? That's incorrect. You've been single. You've been single you're entire life.
Saying alone points to feeling lonely. Do you think people in marriages and long-term relationships don't get lonely?
Single people tend to be slightly happier than married people, actually (unless it's a man and it's the first marriage, they're a little happier. A little).
Furthermore, there is a religion in our culture based on the necessity of romantic love for happiness. It's around 150 years old.
Is this religion based in reality? No. With romantic love, there's about a six to twelve month "honeymoon" or "limerence" period then you're lucky if you're good friends, which often isn't the case.
Talk to straight people about their marriages sometime. Listen to a woman who has been emotionally abused for her narcissist husband for decades and is left financially devasted by their divorce at age 38, with two young children she's parenting alone. Do you think she's "comforted" by the knowledge she hasn't been single? She's in the bigger nightmare IMHO.
Happiness has to come from within. And love is all around you if you let yourself see it (from your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers).
Romantic love is a wonderful, unique experience and I'm sorry you haven't gotten to yet. But this "nightmare" narrative you have is feeding your own unhappiness.
The "It's just not fair" of it all. And it's true, life isn't fair: but it's going to be okay anyway.
Paradoxically, people who are self-fulfilled, who want a partner but don't need one, tend to attract them better. (If you're going to commit suicide if your partner leaves you or dies on you, is that really a healthy relationship?)
Finally: geography. Are you in a rural area? If dating is important to you, you have the opportunity to move somewhere with more opportunities for dating other men. It's your choice.
That's what I got. It took my like half an hour to write lmao.
I'm 58 and married but should I end up single again I would be okay with that.
I saw a tik tok of an ancient woman who was asked what she would advise her younger self.
Her answer?
"NEVER get married."
Yeah. My ex-husband and I were together for 17 years. Likeable guy, firm handshake, but a nightmare behind closed doors.
Then I dated a guy who thought since I am an accountant, I have money. He found someone else when he realized his mistake.
Met a wonderful man who loved me and my kids, but he died suddenly. I think I am done now.
Done since 2016. Wasn't a conscious decision so much as my break from it became longer and longer...too many fking turds for sure..and I realized the peace and energy for life I gained was more important. Got my greyhound, my home, good job, tunes, and good cups of coffee.
Oh my gosh - you have me howling ! We’re the same age and I’m from the Midwest too - just cracking me up! I quit dating at 48 - then COVID hit - and I have adjusted and love my peace. I’ve been in therapy for the past 5 years - so I made good with the time - and I found my issues and have and can continue to work on em - that’s it - I’m good - thanks!
I’m 61 and haven’t given up on finding someone to share my life with yet. I don’t have any kids either. Don’t feel bad dude. Keep the faith! ❤
I agree I will never give up
I just realized I've been dating wrong all this time, I've never had anyone pay my bills. ugh, all those years i missed out lol
I've loved & been with the same man for 32yrs!✌💙
tiktok doesn't help you. It doesnt help anybody. You're asking whats wrong - tiktok
Yeah, I'm out too. Been happily divorced since 1983, been in relationships over the years. Now at age 66, I'm more than happy to be single. Nothing like a little company every once in awhile though. I guess the main thing is whatever makes you happy.
Quit dating 11 years ago. Men my age need a nurse or mommy type. I'm very happy being single. I've been there, done that. No one paid my bills, I've always taken care of myself. I did have a little help a few times from a guy I dated. But that was just that one sweet person out of the countless men I dated. Most men just needed someone with money to boost his money. Or they were looking for someone to help raise their kids or fill their void. And through it all, at 53, I decided to ride the rest of my life alone. I'm happy, I miss nothing about being in a relationship. There are 2% good people out there who are worth dating, and then you can only hope you're attracted to them. 😂😂😂
49 here, single for 3.5 years. I’m centering myself and I’ve never known the peace I feel now.
After almost 30 years I left. Took a couple of years to get myself organized to leave. I have dogs, I have friends and peace. No kids on purpose. The serenity is priceless.
Dating is a waste. You're hunting for something in the Walmart of fake attraction. True love finds itself without effort and without even looking. One day, you'll walk by or meet someone you've never met or noticed, and suddenly, things just click without effort. Your morphic fields match.That's when you know you'll want to be with that person for the rest of your life, and that's when you'll attain true happiness. I lost that true love after almost 40 years of happy marriage, and no one on earth will ever come close to replacing that.
I stopped dating years ago. I can't imagine altering my life to create space for another person for the pleasure of being treated like crap.The man that could get me to change my mind about being in a relationship doesn't exist.
I’m suddenly grateful that I am an old married lady.
Same here. I told my husband that if anything happens to him, I won’t date again. Nope. Men our age want a nurse with a purse.
Been married for 32 years and consider it the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I decided a few years that i made bad choices but i kinda like my own company better than most ppl i dated.. me and my 2 pups are perfectly happy
My husband and I have been married for 40 yrs. We are opposites of each other in many ways yet those differences have made us better as a whole. We are not perfect and some of our arguments have lit up the sky like the northern lights. But I think my husband summed it up best. I asked him one day why we made it so many years and he looked me in the eye and said because I made a vow to you and it's the most important thing I've ever done. So when I'm frustrated or annoyed with him I remember what he told me that day and I realize it is the most important thing I have ever done too. And I fall in love all over again.
We DO exist. My husband and I have been together for almost 25 years, raised our kids, and we are still absolutely in love. I adore him, and he constantly reminds me how important I am to him. We laugh together daily, we have no scandals.
I have no idea how I got so damn lucky, and I am so grateful to have found him.
I am also SO GLAD I am not in the dating pool! These people are frickin' crazy!
It’s a multitude of things that you can’t just pinpoint one reason. And I think people have lost their morale compass and values and have replaced it with personal greed
I’m 52 and have basically given up! And I’m happy with that decision 😊
Hawk I have been with my love (husband) for the past 38yrs. I love him more everyday. Yes we are still happy with each other.
Dating apps are just a crazy clown show..............scary clowns......stick with the dogs and you will be loved no matter what! LOL
I was out 15 years ago now. I am so much better on my own. I have my friends. My puppy. Life is good.