I wrote down the lyrics for something I'm making. Here they are if you want to sing along: When I was a little bit shorter I wanted to be a footballer slash astronaut or fireman but the lack of fires on the moon would mean early retirement My brother used to work printing floral designs on top shelf keyboards til they fired him to be honest he's struggled to get hired since putting hyacinths on them higher synths When I was a little less who I am now I sit up and stress bout who I'd be tomorrow But tomorrow came about as it always does made me wonder why I wanted to fuss Used to stand on chairs, imagine being tall now I am, I'm just trying to stay childish being big and free like the BFG if that's something to be, I want to start it see, back then anything seemed possible you could do anything that you wanted to but as time went by it got a lot more probable either wind up in an office or a hospital Yes it's nice to have certainty to anchorman like Ron Burgundy but human is something we learn to be so, how about some comforting words from we? From the ages of five to nine I never worried 'bout a nine to five but as we turned our late teens to twenties we're told to trade dreams for rent please so whatever you end up or whatever you do don't let the world get the better of you so many people want to talk about a five year plan I just want to focus on what's right here man So one day when someone asks me what I do I hope that I can say something clever so until then here's a transcript from every haircut ever First Question: So, what do you do? Second Question: Yeah, but what do you do for cash? What do you mean poetry? What do you mean Jazz? Surely, you can't make a living off of that? I close my eyes, this has happened before it's become something that I cannot ignore count to ten in my head just to steady my thoughts I get ready to deliver my bestest retort (incoherent mumbling) But next time... next time, I'll tell them: I'm a poet/rapper/writer/teacher /too many things that I could hope to mention My CV's seen more slashes than a urinal at a Guns and Roses Convention Well, there are many strings to my bow and there are many things that I know and there are many things that I don't like how many strings in a bow? Do trees watch us grow? (possibly) and why do my feet have toes? (that's for balance) and why do the shops all close? (cos it's night time) when I want to buy my cheerios? (should have gone in the day time) and if a mad scientist kidnapped me, could you tell me from my clone? (yeah) if we wore exactly the same clothes? (maybe) and did the whole Harry and Chris show? (bit intense) what I'll do, I'll ask you something that only the REAL Chris would know the first time we ever performed this song was at a small gig in chyssic and before we went on stage something happened that sort of threw us off a little during the gig and I'd like you to share that with the room. (pause) From the ages of five to nine I never worried 'bout a nine to five- - I ruined the toilet - but as we turned our late teens to twenties we're told to trade dreams for rent please so whatever you end up or whatever you do don't let the world get the better of you so many people want to talk about a five year plan I just want to focus on what's right here man I fell in love with a cement mixer I thought we'd be together eventually they said "how do you know this?" I said "you know what? It's cement to be" I used to be a superhero but then I became a poet because it's super here oh! what about chicken skin? it's useful for keeping the rest of the chicken in Yes, I went to the vet they had a pet you say but actually I said vetinarian well luckily pet is short for petinarian used to be a taxidermist then I worked for big brother's little brother and I used to taxi Dermot O'Leary to the show quite a dated reference I was a double bassist but I fell out with the band because they were racist it's not funny... moment of silence Oh, yeah! good bassline. Double it. ... Double bassline! Went to see an innkeeper and he kept me in his inn and I was like let me out and he was like no! this is an Innkeeper not an outkeeper I met an animal impersonator and then I formed a comedy duo with him spontaneous animal impression, Chris! do an Angry Hedgehog ... do a surprised goat ... do a sexually aroused pigeon one more to go, we're getting on with this that was going badly, but we kept digging like a paleontologist Chris, why'd you quit your job at the bank? Y'know I just lost interest Why'd you quit your job at the tank top shop? I just couldn't invest Why'd you quit your job as an underwear model? It was just a bit pants Why'd you quit your job as an improv comedian [no response] But if you do quit this job eventually you can work at SeaLife for celebrities and have a rapper and a spy then he'd be showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone From the ages of five to nine I never worried 'bout a nine to five but as we turned our late teens to twenties we're told to trade dreams for rent please so whatever you end up or whatever you do don't let the world get the better of you so many people want to talk about a five year plan All together now! showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone (showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone) showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone (showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone) showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone (showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone) One more time! showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone (showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone)
Why are these guys not more popular
Squeaky Fir2 it's sad. They've been on Russel Howard now at least
'Showing Eminem and M and eminent anemone' has got to be the greatest line I've ever heard! I will be saying it for days.
I wrote down the lyrics for something I'm making. Here they are if you want to sing along:
When I was a little bit shorter
I wanted to be a footballer
slash astronaut or fireman
but the lack of fires on the moon would mean early retirement
My brother used to work printing floral designs
on top shelf keyboards til they fired him
to be honest he's struggled to get hired since
putting hyacinths on them higher synths
When I was a little less who I am now
I sit up and stress bout who I'd be tomorrow
But tomorrow came about as it always does
made me wonder why I wanted to fuss
Used to stand on chairs, imagine being tall
now I am, I'm just trying to stay childish
being big and free like the BFG
if that's something to be, I want to start it
see, back then anything seemed possible
you could do anything that you wanted to
but as time went by it got a lot more probable
either wind up in an office or a hospital
Yes it's nice to have certainty
to anchorman like Ron Burgundy
but human is something we learn to be
so, how about some comforting words from we?
From the ages of five to nine
I never worried 'bout a nine to five
but as we turned our late teens to twenties
we're told to trade dreams for rent please
so whatever you end up or whatever you do
don't let the world get the better of you
so many people want to talk about a five year plan
I just want to focus on what's right here man
So one day when someone asks me what I do
I hope that I can say something clever
so until then here's a transcript from
every haircut ever
First Question:
So, what do you do?
Second Question:
Yeah, but what do you do for cash?
What do you mean poetry?
What do you mean Jazz?
Surely, you can't make a living off of that?
I close my eyes, this has happened before
it's become something that I cannot ignore
count to ten in my head just to steady my thoughts
I get ready to deliver my bestest retort
(incoherent mumbling)
But next time... next time, I'll tell them:
I'm a poet/rapper/writer/teacher
/too many things that I could hope to mention
My CV's seen more slashes than a urinal at a Guns and Roses Convention
Well, there are many strings to my bow
and there are many things that I know
and there are many things that I don't
like how many strings in a bow?
Do trees watch us grow? (possibly)
and why do my feet have toes? (that's for balance)
and why do the shops all close? (cos it's night time)
when I want to buy my cheerios? (should have gone in the day time)
and if a mad scientist kidnapped me,
could you tell me from my clone? (yeah)
if we wore exactly the same clothes? (maybe)
and did the whole Harry and Chris show? (bit intense)
what I'll do, I'll ask you something that only the REAL Chris would know
the first time we ever performed this song was at a small gig in chyssic
and before we went on stage something happened that sort of threw us off a little during the gig
and I'd like you to share that with the room.
(pause)
From the ages of five to nine
I never worried 'bout a nine to five-
- I ruined the toilet -
but as we turned our late teens to twenties
we're told to trade dreams for rent please
so whatever you end up or whatever you do
don't let the world get the better of you
so many people want to talk about a five year plan
I just want to focus on what's right here man
I fell in love with a cement mixer
I thought we'd be together eventually
they said "how do you know this?"
I said "you know what? It's cement to be"
I used to be a superhero
but then I became a poet because it's super here oh!
what about chicken skin?
it's useful for keeping the rest of the chicken in
Yes, I went to the vet
they had a pet
you say but actually I said vetinarian
well luckily pet is short for petinarian
used to be a taxidermist
then I worked for big brother's little brother
and I used to taxi Dermot O'Leary to the show
quite a dated reference
I was a double bassist
but I fell out with the band
because they were racist
it's not funny... moment of silence
Oh, yeah! good bassline. Double it.
... Double bassline!
Went to see an innkeeper
and he kept me in his inn
and I was like let me out
and he was like no! this is an Innkeeper not an outkeeper
I met an animal impersonator
and then I formed a comedy duo with him
spontaneous animal impression, Chris! do an Angry Hedgehog
... do a surprised goat
... do a sexually aroused pigeon
one more to go, we're getting on with this
that was going badly, but we kept digging
like a paleontologist
Chris, why'd you quit your job at the bank?
Y'know I just lost interest
Why'd you quit your job at the tank top shop?
I just couldn't invest
Why'd you quit your job as an underwear model?
It was just a bit pants
Why'd you quit your job as an improv comedian
[no response]
But if you do quit this job eventually
you can work at SeaLife for celebrities
and have a rapper and a spy then he'd be
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
From the ages of five to nine
I never worried 'bout a nine to five
but as we turned our late teens to twenties
we're told to trade dreams for rent please
so whatever you end up or whatever you do
don't let the world get the better of you
so many people want to talk about a five year plan
All together now!
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
(showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone)
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
(showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone)
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
(showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone)
One more time!
showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone
(showing Eminem and M an eminent anemone)
This is the most amazing thing ever
His freestyle rap skills are mad xx
I love them 😍
I NEED TO KNOWS THOSE CHORDS GAAHDAMN
showing Emimen an inanimate anemone
Showing Eminien and Em(M?) and eminent anemone
Gynoid Kitten Eminem the rapper and M from James Bond. And yeah it was eminent not inanimate