Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) from the ADHD lens vs Autistic lens
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ก.พ. 2024
- I've been thinking a lot about rejection, sensitive dysphoria and the differences between my experiences and autistic person and my other neurodivergent peers and ADHDers.
I feel like there are differences in the things that trigger RSD and the way they may or may not persist. I think Autistic planning for things ahead of time could be mistaken for OCD and the emotional response of ADHDers could be mistaken for BPD.
Mostly I think it is important to get the direct experience of the person and work from that lens instead of characterizing behavior on how it impacts others.
Link to podcast that I recommended on RSD
open.spotify.com/episode/11pA...
A lot of doctors in the psychology space don’t like the DSM either, mainly due to a lot of things missing. Your thoughts about the criteria being based on observable things is spot on, if I remember correctly this is part of the “rules” for the DSM - it has to be observable by a practitioner. Which sadly rules out a massive amount of what having adhd and autism is.
I guess there are other manuals for guidance in psychology such as the PDM ( psychodynamic diagnostic manual) but I haven't heard many professionals referring to it as a tool. Perhaps the profession as a whole is just really slow to evolve.
Microaggression is absolutely the right word to use! I also made this connection recently, that the ND experience is fraught with microaggressions from NT people. Like, the idea that "different equals bad" is woven into NT speech with things like "weird", "crazy", "insane", "lazy", and "creep". Even when they aren't targeted against a particular individual, they reinforce the idea that diversity is unwelcome. It's really validating to hear someone talk about NT bigotry in terms of microaggressions.
It is woven into the generally NT hierarchical world view I suppose. If I am not above you then I am below you. If you are not following the societal norms then you are threatening my world view and it makes me uncomfortable. But innovation and change doesn't happen by following societal norms! We all would do better without the micro aggression tho for sure!
Hey dude, thanks very much. It's still quite hard for me to communicate clearly.. I watched this over an hour ago, and have been trying not to be too overwhelmed. I'm 54, recent convert to AuDHD, but I have been basically stumbling from one confused situation to another for a while now. Adoption and bullying were childhood traumas that added to the RSD. The feelings/emotions that can repeatedly change in intensity, duration or even context.....do truly build over time: which eventually led to rehab. where I started looking properly at my mental health and welfare. So it took me 3.5hrs in all - after writing, changing, accidentally deleting and tearing-up. and stare-thinking.
Glad you are here! I appreciate the effort that went into your comment. I have thoughts about making a new video about masking. Hopefully I will get it done soon!
Thank you Christina, that was helpful. I am trying to tease out my understanding of these things. I know I have had situations in the past where I felt rejected and just stopped trying, like being rejected for art college by the least prestigious place and then being accepted by the most prestigious college but felt I was not good enough by then that I didn’t go at all and just gave up because my self esteem was hit so hard.
Yes. This stuff is challenging to untangle. I have also had imposter syndrome type feelings you describe. Once I got a new job and I felt like it was above my skill level and I didn't belong there because everyone else sounded like they knew what they were doing. Flash forward into the job... I get to speak to one of these people face to face and in depth and I find there are a lot of gaps in their knowledge. They didn't know more than me they just picked the right words to use to sound good. This is a skill that I do not have because I feel like I have to represent myself truthfully and that means not pretending. I am pretty sure that most of the world feels like it is normal to present themselves like they know all the things. Turns out most of the time where you are at is probably better than most people! I think this is very much one of my Autistic traits that I think I need to meet all criteria to even try something. Does that make sense? I think that is what perfectionism is to me. Like if a job description says have this skill I think everyone that applies has all the skills listed. Turns out they don't! 😂
@@christinadonnelly781 Yes this makes so much sense. I actually find it appalling that people basically lie to get a job or position or even a relationship and that this seems to be the way of the world. No wonder so many things are in such a mess!
@@tracik1277 trying to explain what lying is to someone who is not Autistic is the most frustrating experience it's almost comical. It goes something like this Me: " so what you said just then is that completely accurate?" Them: " well no but I general it is. Like not everything about what I just said". Me: " that is lying". Them : " no it's not its just not the literal interpretation". Me " that's also lying" 😂😂
@@christinadonnelly781 100% !!
neurotypicals are good at presenting alternative facts
Yup yup yup and the fact that psychiatry insists there's no such thing as an adult onset personality disorder yet refuses to diagnose PDs until adulthood is just the flipside of not treating the disordered parent who has induced their child to ADHD or ASD. The reason ADHD and ASD treatments don't work is because the parenting doesn't change. So newsflash, B-Cluster parenting induces one or the other according to whether the primary attachment figure experiences postpartum psychosis (wish for the child to become "unborn") and doesn't make a SIDS death of her brand new scapegoat or regards the child as a pleasing Mini Me to either herself or the child's father (whose identity she is essentially channelling in that particular situation if she's that disordered). Being the favorite of that kind of parent absolutely grooms a kid to never forget a slight and maintain grudges forever, but ADHD doesn't have the discipline to resist interrupting others because chaotic parenting teaches nothing constructively but does raise timid autistic and schizophrenic scapegoats people will find polite by raging at them to regulate its own mask of sanity..
Most of what psychiatry is called to treat in both pediatric and adult populations is trauma from child abuse. But you can see their ineptitude to do so in thinking ASD level 1 gets diagnosed later than ASD level 2 and level 3 because it's not characterized by speech delay. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't but probably they think that for not figuring out MOTHERS WHO DON'T NOTICE THE SPEECH DELAY ALSO DON'T NOTICE THE HYPERLEXIC ASPERGER-ESQUE STRONG VERBAL INTELLIGENCE THAT KICKS IN WHEN WE HAVE TO TEACH OURSELVES LANGUAGE. (As if echolalia isn't very obviously the perseveration of failure to flatter an uninterested mother into dialogue 🙄) So I think psychiatry is inevitably medicine's biggest failure (and medicine & law society's biggest, and civilization mankind's biggest) because psychiatry doesn't have the privilege of adult patients who'll tolerate the use of reality in treating their incapacities to deal with reality.
As my mother demonstrated very well by concealing an asperger diagnosis from me (because the comorbid intellectual giftedness wasn't what her Munchausen had in mind for a proxy) that took me nearly 40 more years to figure out situations in which they insist upon treating the adult as well as the victim usually fall apart because those adults can't tolerate being seen as child abusers. They are the kind of adults who need any kid but a mini-me to be seen as an idiot and who in fact would rather kill any kid incapable of becoming mini-them anyway. Psychiatry doesn't go there because society doesn't go there, but civilization obviating the need for hunting in our omnivorous species is almost certainly the origin of intraspecies predation (regulating masks of sanity by directing irrational barbarism toward culturally approved ideological outgroups usually by way of fixed religious or political delusion).
Seems to me if psychiatry and surgery even sleep at night after accepting the invitation to sterilize pediatric patients (undiagnosed autistic females, who internalize displaced rage toward their mothers as self-hatred unlike autistic boys) by legitimizing transgender delusion (usually an attachment strategy in toddlers rejected for their physical sex or adolescents rejected for their sexual orientations) it's only because they don't have the balls to give pediatric ASD patients they do diagnose with autism the actual reality that they shouldn't have kids and will have developmental incapacities to enter contracts including marriage. It's very clear that ASD is an evolutionarily adaptive postponement of ego development that allows us to survive parents who couldn't tolerate the emergence of our own autonomy long enough to escape them and try to raise ourselves in a better environment. It probably goes badly more often than it goes well because our undefended egos make us magnets for exploitation but we do have the ability to individuate from our mothers if by some miracle we managed to avoid catching a PD in early adulthood (usually by way of serious betrayal or our unanticipated emotional unpreparedness for parenthood). IDK if telling young autistic kids their mothers are incapable of love and that's why they have this attachment-based problem would improve patient outcomes but MDs' actions make it obvious favoring adult patients who want anything but the truth is about predatorily advancing their profession's own outcome. Treating their pediatric patients by telling them anything but the truth cinches it.
So they don't diagnose PDs until adulthood despite insisting they develop in childhood to conceal the uselessness of their pediatric treatment protocols knowing full well that adult-onset ASPD and BPD are sequelae of ASD developmental delay. While postpartum psychosis giving way to BPD in underlying ASD is the obvious mechanism of behavioral heritability from an autistic mother the reason ADHD seems less handicapping IMO it's because it's just the pediatric name for NPD... meaning there was at least the early benefit of enough contact socialization to foster cognitive empathy. Cognitive empathy can't read autistic alexithymia because suppression of emotional signaling is adaptive to surviving emotional vampires we at some point realize gaslight us about every imaginable thing.. because only scapegoats who don't clue in are even subject to schizophreniform decompensation. MD's think schizophrenia is psychosis because the mothers of the young adults who present with it offer no help in contextualizing the ego discontinuity they've gaslit into them.
ASD SIDS and schizophrenia are 75% male while Alzheimer's dementia is 80% female simply because natural selection prioritizes the relative mental health of the primary attachment figure in her childbearing years by way of the inability to regard little boys as extensions of themselves as easily. We think child sacrifice is not endemic to civilization but it's just currently iterated as SIDS and autistic suicidality.
The abrahamic filicidal impulse on Sinai during the era of animal sacrifice well-illustrated untreated postpartum psychosis (hell yes dads get it too) giving way to proxied Munchausen when Psycho Abe didn't mind using Isaac to overcorrect amage to his reputation for having schwarzeneggered his maid. Because we must be stupid if we think he was ever going to harm Isaac. It was wanting to kill Ishmael that was psychogenic to his delusion of favor from and obedience to the made up god of his culture. A culture who figured out that any hoe among them could have induced her child to a messianic delusion by blaming her infidelity on an angel so decided to put themselves forth as the so-called chosen people to any descendants of those who initially couldn't tell the difference between a grave robbery and a resurrection. People stupid enough to kick Asperger out of the autism club for being a Nazi overlook Hitler's autism as the other part of himself he was externalizing the desire to eradicate (after being 1/4 Jewish which would have predictably caused him to be cruelly excluded as a quarterbreed by the original master race--whose act the Holocaust was his effort to steal). All of which just is what it is but we're too intellectually and morally enfeebled to admit.