It boggles me why this isn't common knowledge. Most ops stay in the relationship all the way to the marriage, even after marriage, despite the cruel and toxic behavior of in-laws and extended family. If I was ever in this situation, I wouldn't even think twice about it - the moment the first red flag is waved, I would have 'NOPED' the fuck outta there and never look back.
While it IS possible for someone to be vastly different from their family, it's highly improbable. The test is how they treat you in the presence of their family and if they allow you to be treated badly. When they do, run. If they support you and really are different, you need to still think long and hard if you want to be involved in the mess that is their family.
When your inlaws are monsters and your SO doesn't support you instead his or her horrible family, run away as fast as you can. Especially when the SO doesn't support you.
Wait why on earth, why would he thinks you owe him your family heirloom? Why would you accept a engagement ring that was ready yours? You should have dumped him after the cake fiasco. She stole your ring? Cal police and be more careful in your next relationship.
There is generally a dollar amount attached to whether a criminal charge is a misdemeanour or felony. In the case of an engagement ring it’s most likely a felony and could come with some jail time.
OP, you need to have the ring appraised. They had plenty of time to switch out the gems, &/or have a replica made. If the ring is the original take lots of pictures & get it insured. You might look into having it engraved as added security.
It sucks how you find out your friends aren't your real friends. It makes me wonder how "in love" OP was. But even so, cut your losses so you can gain something better.
FYI- if you think your heirloom diamond ring is very expensive because of the value of the diamond, have it officially graded by the Gemnological Institute of America and then have a serial number laser etched onto it and registered. It should also be specifically mentioned on your homeowners insurance, along with a special rider for things like artwork, antiques and valuable jewelry. Sometimes that heirloom jewelry is just an average bauble in a pretty setting but actually not worth much, or someone from generations past may have already switched out the valuable gems to sell them.
Story two: OP should sue these deadbeats and shame them in every way she can. As for the family who support them, tell them that anybody who believes cheating "family" is not family to her.
Per the birthday cakes: OP, you are not required to "respect" people who use you, lie to you, and then stiff you over the money they owe you. Be sure everyone else in the family knows what they did, and that they then tried to con you out of a second birthday cake.
Story 2, OP, never do anything for family members unless you get the money up front. They'll screw you over every time. Been there, fine that. Your own family can be your worse enemies.
3 tier cake. And they refuse to pay! Ob's. Tell the family complaining to pay up or stfu. Like decorating cake is easy, with all the bells and whistles possible now a days.. Bakers Rock.
I always love the typos in the script. It adds character to the presentation. But I LOVE "nervous anus"! That is going to be my excuse for everything from now on!
When I was a baby, my mother inherited 3 flawless blue diamonds 3 carats each. She already had one in her own heirloom ring. So there were 4 in total. They are worth a LOT of money. Because my oldest brother didn't get my sister-in-law an engagement ring, my mother gifted her one of the rings on their 10th anniversary. They adored each other. After that, she left all of her jewelry to me when she died, as I am her only daughter. She had requested that I save the other two rings for my nieces, her grand daughters. When my oldest niece was talking marriage, I offered one of the rings to her. None of the settings were her style but the stone could be removed and reset, with another stone (I had several sapphires for the purpose.) Her fiance designed a setting himself (which he could now afford because he didn't need to buy a gem.) I will forever remember the frantic call from him when he took the ring to the jeweler to have the diamond removed and reset. I had sent along the sapphire and was going to pay to have the sapphire put into the old ring. You know, just do it all at once. Well the jeweler appraised the diamond.....lol. Fiance didn't think I could possibly know the value of the stone itself and called to let me know. I told him it was about what I expected and was the reason for my stipulation. My stipulation? In the event that the marriage didn't take place, I would buy the setting from him instead of him getting ring back. After I assured him it was what I wanted and what my mother would have wanted, he went ahead with the resetting of the diamond. He then decided to pay the small amount to have the sapphire placed in the old setting. When he brought the old ring back to me, he offered to show me the new ring.....and as tempted as I was I decided to wait until my niece had been given the ring. It's amazing! My mother would have been quite pleased. They married and now have two children. That was over 20 years ago and that ring still shines and sparkles. Shortly before they married, we had an incident with my nieces stepmother trying to switch the the blue diamond for her own diamond, but it was caught. She then DEMANDED that she get one of the diamonds. I told her that there were two left. One for my other niece and one was mine. She demanded that I give her one of them anyway as she is the wife of my brother and my mother would have wanted her to have one the way my other sister in law did. I told her that not only had she never met my mother but my mother would never have given her one one because had mother been alive my brother would never have married her. My mother would have talked him out of it. Besides, even my other sister in law, who my whole family adores, didn't get one until their 10th anniversary. That was the last conversation I had with her. She and my brother divorced less than a year later......after 4 years of marriage. She actually tried to get one of the diamonds in the divorce. She failed.
@ *ACCER* thank you for sharing this absolutely *AMAZING* story! I think that this would actually make a really good video episode on the *rGirl relationships* channel! I _do_ have a question; I might be reading your comment wrong so PLEASE forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but are you saying that this "step mother" woman is the _new wife_ of the _ORIGINAL_ guy/fiancé whom you gave the diamond to in order to propose to your niece? Did he really divorce your niece? If so, I'm glad you didn't offer him another diamond, and I'm glad he didn't get to keep the original diamond you meant for his wife (your NIECE) to have. (Although I do wonder how the stepmother apparently knew SO MUCH about the situation with the diamond. Sounds like hubby was running his mouth about things that no longer concerned him as he had married out of the family.) This also PERFECTLY illustrates (an _unpopular opinion,_ I'm sure) why I personally would *NOT* give away any family heirloom jewelry to a son, nephew, or any _male_ family members, simply due to the fact that if they happen to get divorced from the woman they chose, it would be difficult (if not downright IMPOSSIBLE) to get the jewelry back from this woman once she leaves the family. I'd give them money, gifts and things like that for a gift, but ALL family jewelry would stay with the *BLOOD* female family members so that it will actually be with _relatives_ as it was meant to be. And I'm not talking about "distant" relatives who want nothing to do with the family, but relatives who actually care about family history and heritage and would cherish these treasures objects. I know that many would disagree with me on this line of thinking and call me *TA* and *selfish,* but what is the point of having *"FAMILY"* heirlooms if just ANY random person is able to get ahold of them?
@@Rose_Bride Heavens NO! It was the stepmother of my niece.....her father's new wife. I have two MUCH older brothers (18 and 20 years older.) The oldest brother married at 18. My mother inherited the other rings when they had been married about 8-9 years at that point. So to honor their 10th anniversary, she gave my SIL one of the rings. They have now been married over 50 years and my SIL still wears it. Then there is the other brother. He married, had two kids, divorced when they were toddlers and had full custody of them. He remarried when they were in their late teens/early 20's. THAT wife is the one that tried to switch the diamond and then demanded one. She of course knew about them because I had offered it and my brother mentioned that our mother had left diamonds for the girls. Those diamonds were so old that they didn't initially have serial numbers. When that became a thing in the 80's, I considered it. Within a few years my insurance company required it to insure them so I had it done. Greedy SIL didn't know that. She just knew they were antiques and family heirlooms. Because of that, she thought I wouldn't be able to prove which diamond was which. When she tried to switch the diamonds, the jeweler looked up the number. I was still the legal owner. I didn't transfer ownership until after my niece married AND they were able to insure it. Until then, I maintained the insurance and legal ownership. I was called and the police notified. I didn't press charges over the attempted theft......but a police report was made. This was NOT done for her benefit but for my brother. That report was used in the divorce a little over a year later. Just so you know, family heirlooms, at least in the US, are returned to the family of origin in most divorce cases. I don't blame you though, in fact, my SIL (the good one) has made it clear that HER diamond is to be given to one of our great nieces. We are lucky enough to have 4 great nieces to pass them to in the future. My nieces both have their diamonds and are both married to their original husbands. In fact, my poor middle brother is the only member of our family to ever be divorced.....and he did it twice!
Story 2 :- RESPECT IS EARNED, it is not a right. II certainly would not give out any to the elders in this story, all they are due is to be staked out in the middle of the road, on a cattle mart day, "and let the mart begin!!!". Disgusting people, pay your debts. OP, if anyone EVER says anything about this again, just ask them if they are volunteering to pay, and KEEP ON ASKING WHOEVER, UNTIL IT IS PAID. NTA OP, NTA.
Your nephew should be receiving survivor benefits from social security. If his condition is serious enough he may be able to qualify for SSI & free medical/meds (SSI & SSD when he’s an adult). Please look into seeing if their parental ties can be severed & you & husb can get full permanent guardianship.
Families please please raise your girls to be strong not naive women so they don’t get robbed and used. Sometimes I hear these stories and I lose my mind. Not blaming the women at all but wonder why they trust these slimy people
In the title story the OP is most assuredly *NOT* the arsehole. Given that the engagement ring is the OP's family heirloom. How does the OP's ex's mother (other than being a Karen) think that she has *ANY* claim to it?
Story 1 You sue his family for the ring he has no right to remove your family heirloom and you will not see it again if you don't sue her so press charges and get her arrested and get the stones checked before you except the ring
if she is willing to PAY...WHY can't she just go to a bakery ??? She never intended to pay.. and you DO NOT need to RESPECT THIEVES and SCAMMERS !! OR AH's who defend people like them!!
Those idiots saying OP disrespected those relatives refused to pay, yeah they disrespected OP first. Also OP should never do anything for those relatives that went against OP, don't do anything for them and remind them of this incident should they ever ask for anything from OP.
Those idiots are doormats, enablers, and abusers themselves. If they excuse such behavior, then that just proves they would of done the EXACT same or worse
S3 NTA you protected your nephew and the other kids. Don't pass on the messages on from stepmom and she has no say in anything. If he receives SSI and benefits that is the only reason why they want him back.
*Never meet the potential in-laws without doing a little research. I was blindsided when a girl I was dating introduced me to her family as I looked across the judging eyes at the dinner table I stopped on one guy in particular his eyes widened & he just screamed "YOU" then jumped over the table & charged at me, (Turned out I fought with this guy on a drunken night out awhile back & left an impression & he turns out to be my then girlfriends brother) I didn't want to hurt hurt him so was just restraining him as his family sat their in shock, his father stood up & said "I think you'd better leave". Worst first impressions I have ever had with girlfriends family.*
Story one his family are evil. OP was a complete push over, not that she deserved it as no one deserves that treatment but she could have stopped all this wayyyy before this went down. Even afterwards she didn’t change her number to stop contact.
I'll never understand why people let stuff slide with their future in-laws. I'd be dumping the fiancé the moment his family shit on me and he didn't defend me.
Wow Story 1 jumped all over the place. I mean, why would the fiancé have the ring? Why would he propose to her with HER family heirloom ring? If they had in on video Lisa stealing the ring, then what's up with the lawsuit? You go to the police and they come over and have a friendly chat with Lisa and Voila! You got your ring back. Cops love this cut and dry cases. Trying to find who stole the ring is a bitch but you had proof. And before anyone says maybe this wasn't in America, once again, they made mention of 'in their state.' I could be wrong though. But I'm still stuck on him proposing to her with HER family ring. And her friends said they were told she had stolen the ring. Once again, HOW DO YOU STEAL YOUR OWN FAMILY RING when the ring in question is with someone who is most definitely NOT family?!
I imagine it's because the ex's family were wealthy and/or very well-known in the city, and considering the trash mil, I can see her trying to drag the lawsuit out to tire OP. I feel like anyone toxic and entitled would of done the same. And let's be honest, cops, more often than not, are useless in the sense that they can't do much (or just choose not to).
Post all the previous messages from her and her mom on that group chat then see what the family think of them then cut them off. Do not answer any further messages or calls from them.
Whatever you do DONT wear the ring. Put it in a safety deposit box where they can't get it! Also rig your apartment with cameras to see who comes in while you are at this so called meeting? I'll bet Jason has provided the MIL with a key! MIL should still face jail time for B&E, and theft. As for Mommas boy am glad you ditched him
Why was she so stupid in story 1? First, she didnt know where her ring was? Or accept the abuse of Jason and his family? Why didnt she tell why they broke up and just let things just happen? She is very passive.
So what exactly was the point behind MIL trying to steal the ring? She was rid of the DIL she didn't want anyway was this all just a cash grab? Or was there more to it than that? If is was all about money why didn't she sell the ring instead of drawing attention to it and then she ended up giving it back along with a fine? None of that made any sense. Was she unhinge or something? Also, why would you insult someone you are trying to convince to do something for your for free? It's not like that's going to make them change their mind and want to help you now that you've put them down. If anything they might want to cut you off completely and ignore any attempts you might make to contact them again. Foolish people need to really think about their words and actions first.
in the case of the cake, OP was inconsistent. She first said that she couldn't do it because she was busy with her thesis. So when cousin offered to pay, she accepted . If she really was that busy, there is no money in the world that will buy her the time she needed to complete her thesis. She should have said no from the beginning and stayed in the negative no matter how much money they offered.
Three good storys. On the last story I agee with the last coments on money. If in the USA the child with disabiltys and a parent that has passed he would be intitled to Moms SSA if she was working at that time or the SSI. About $900 a mo.
So OP only left her cheating ex after she caught him cheating. The rest of the time she's just happy and content being a doormat. You see OP when you don't respect yourself, you can't really expect other people to respect you.
It could have been his family heirloom and would still belong to you S2. Well that was dumb wasn't. Hopefully you hold strong and never make another for them. Respect the ultimate trump card, I might make 1 more cake, basic sheet cake, and cover it in horrible messages from them and bring printouts for people to read since that cale will be on the floor fast.
I was invited to boyfriends family Christmas and was asked to bring chocolate candy. I got a two pound box of assorted chocolates from Sees. Boyfriends father took one and muttered something in a different language and I asked what was wrong. Was told I got the wrong candy. It should have been pralines . I just said that they should have asked for pralines then and not just said chocolates. Honestly, it just made me think it was intentional to point out I didn’t understand their culture. And that my boyfriend should be with someone from the same culture. We always got along so well until his parents were around. Constantly pointing out that I didn’t even speak their language. I was learning though.
@@conjumonblue6450 exactly. Have someone get the “ wrong “ item just to complain and say oh he/she doesn’t care and have no respect. But in reality he/she got what they were told to bring. It happened to me 1 time and I had to bring brownies but after arriving, placed them on a table with other desserts, I get yelled at for not bringing cupcakes. I showed everyone there the text about bringing brownies and the look on everyone’s face when i took the brownies I paid for with me and left. Of course I get the please come back messages and we’ll try them and it was a joke and a misunderstanding. I asked, where’s the joke? Why aren’t I laughing if it’s a joke… I enjoyed 200 brownies. By myself I’m now married 4 years. That ex gf is still single and wondering why
I don’t understand how people stay in these relationships. I just don’t get it. I would’ve and have been gone. I’m not staying in something that isn’t serving me or my spirit. Absolutely not. I’m married and in an equal partnership. We didn’t play games, and speak our minds on everything. We bicker and argue, but we never insult or try to intentionally harm or humiliate the other. He’s my other half no one’s going to hurt him not even me. He thinks the same way. How did she stay until he cheated. Everything he did was enough to leave the first time. I don’t get it. I guess my parents raised me differently. Why are people waiting until they do even more egregious things to prove they don’t care or respect you. People can be very dangerous in relationships. You have to have some self awareness and self preservation. Maybe my mom watches too much 48 hrs, and it stuck on me. There’s a lot of DV, and not giving anyone one time to disrespect me. There are no second chances. You’re lucky you got the first chance.
# 1 no damn way am I going to provide the engagement ring if a man proposes to me. # 2 how stupid could you be to let him keep the ring that was yours to begin with. That ring would have been leaving with me. # 3 could you read faster. It takes all I have not to loose interest in the story when you read so slow.
Ok maybe I’m insensitive but if the people around you treat you like 💩 and you just take it that’s kinda on you. Pull yourself together and stand up for yourself/cut them off. Geez. These Reddit stories with doormats get so annoying.
story 2 reminds me of a story that I had with a client, I am a makeup artist, have been for over 20 years, well I charge a very reasonable price to do a full face of makeup, and actually kinda under value my work to a degree. Well I did this woman and her daughter's makeup for the son/older brother's wedding. They both loved their makeup, and even tipped me $50, as I make people put down a 50% deposit and make them pay before I leave, that way if they have issue with how something looks, I can fix it before I leave and I make sure that everything is great with the client before I walk out that door, that way no one can come back on me about not liking a job. I also make them sign off on the contract that they must sign with the booking & deposit, to show the job has been finished, closed out and everyone is happy with the outcome. Well 5 months after I did their makeup for the wedding, I had a charge back for a refund on my paypal(they allow you 6 months to ask for a refund if paid by goods & services) from this woman for the full amount. At the time I didnt have that kind of extra money laying around as my husband had just returned from Iraq, had been injured and had a brain injury also, plus we were dealing with me having to have major back surgery, ending up with an infection afterwards, which ended me back in the ER, ICU another surgery and then 6 weeks of IV antibiotics and while I was in the hospital 2 days after the second surgery my MIL died suddenly, so to say life was stressful and nothing was going right was an understatement, so when I got that refund notice along with pictures of a makeup job that I 100% did not do and thankfully I had the before pics and the after pics that were dated with the day I did the makeup as it was the day of the wedding and you could tell it was completely different makeup done and it was dated 3 days after the wedding and was taken with an iphone, I take mine with a professional camera and make sure everything is dated and saved not only to my portfolio, but into a file folder with the signed contracts, along with the invoice and payment through paypal for the deposit and final job. I guess you can tell I have been screwed over a few times in the past that I go to all of these lengths to cover my ass. Well thankfully I was able to prove my side of the case and paypal gave me back my money, she tried to get me to settle for half and I refused as I was owed my full amount and I wasnt even willing to return the $50 tip either simply for the stress she was causing me at a time I had enough stress in my life. She even tried to get paypal to eat the cost and let us both keep the money, but paypal refused as she lied, it was $300 and they were not willing to eat that much money. Well her daughter's senior prom was 3 weeks after we settled everything through paypal(this woman never did realize my mom was also an attorney, so it would have only cost me filing costs to sue her in small claims court). The daughter reached out and asked me to do her makeup for her prom and her graduation and when I told her there was no way I would work with their family ever again after what I had been dealing with for the past month with her and her mom. She was confused and to be honest if she was lying, she deserves an academy award for her performance. She was hysterical crying because she had been talking about me doing her makeup for both her prom and graduation for months with her SIL, because the SIL was upset that she had her makeup done for free at MAC in the mall for $50 in product purchase. Granted her MIL & SIL paid $125 per person, and you could tell, but hey I understand a wedding can be crazy expensive. So the SIL had offered to pay for her husband's little sister's makeup for both prom and graduation as her gift as it was going to be $250 for both events and she couldnt afford that being 17 and no job. Well when I told her to call me and I would explain, I had her put the phone on speaker and I explained to her, her older brother, and the SIL as to why I would not take the job no matter how much the money would help me at that moment and they offered to pay me double. In the end, I did not do the job, the girl was completely embarassed at what her mom, did the brother was apologizing and even said he was wondering why the mom was being so shady and even got nervous when the girl asked for my information to book the jobs. In the end it taught me another lesson and that is, that I no longer accept paypal goods & services as payment, they can pay the deposit with paypal friends & family as that is non-refundable whether they cancel the appointment or have their makeup done and that is stated clearly in my contract they must sign when booking their time and date. I now only accept venmo or cash that way no one can try and come back on me and ever put me through that stress again. The daughter couldnt even legally book me anyways as she was only 17, and had to have a guardian or an adult sign it and make the payment in their name. I did kinda feel bad refusing to do the girl's makeup seeing as she didnt do it and claimed that they didnt even know anything about it, but I couldnt put myself in that position again.
So OP only left her cheating ex after she caught him cheating. The rest of the time she's just happy and content being a doormat. You see OP when you don't respect yourself, you can't really expect other people to respect you.
So OP only left her cheating ex after she caught him cheating. The rest of the time she's just happy and content being a doormat. You see OP when you don't respect yourself, you can't really expect other people to respect you.
![เปิด อาณาจักร หมื่นล้าน "สาระตั้ม" l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3XE0nPF4YkQ/mqdefault.jpg)
When you meet your SO’s family and they act like monsters, run. It never ends well.
It boggles me why this isn't common knowledge. Most ops stay in the relationship all the way to the marriage, even after marriage, despite the cruel and toxic behavior of in-laws and extended family. If I was ever in this situation, I wouldn't even think twice about it - the moment the first red flag is waved, I would have 'NOPED' the fuck outta there and never look back.
While it IS possible for someone to be vastly different from their family, it's highly improbable. The test is how they treat you in the presence of their family and if they allow you to be treated badly. When they do, run. If they support you and really are different, you need to still think long and hard if you want to be involved in the mess that is their family.
When your inlaws are monsters and your SO doesn't support you instead his or her horrible family, run away as fast as you can. Especially when the SO doesn't support you.
Big facts
I hope you had your jeweler check the stones to make sure they weren’t switched out
Wait why on earth, why would he thinks you owe him your family heirloom? Why would you accept a engagement ring that was ready yours? You should have dumped him after the cake fiasco. She stole your ring? Cal police and be more careful in your next relationship.
Get the ring checked and be sure they are the original stones.
Story one: never mind the lawsuit, file criminal charges! Theft of OP's ring is criminal and should be punished without mercy.
There is generally a dollar amount attached to whether a criminal charge is a misdemeanour or felony. In the case of an engagement ring it’s most likely a felony and could come with some jail time.
Exactly!
@Wei Luo Let THEM go to jail. Burning the house might put her with them.
OP, you need to have the ring appraised. They had plenty of time to switch out the gems, &/or have a replica made.
If the ring is the original take lots of pictures & get it insured. You might look into having it engraved as added security.
Op is lucky 🍀 to be away from this toxic family and op cut ties with those friends and move and start life over again story 1
It sucks how you find out your friends aren't your real friends. It makes me wonder how "in love" OP was. But even so, cut your losses so you can gain something better.
FYI- if you think your heirloom diamond ring is very expensive because of the value of the diamond, have it officially graded by the Gemnological Institute of America and then have a serial number laser etched onto it and registered. It should also be specifically mentioned on your homeowners insurance, along with a special rider for things like artwork, antiques and valuable jewelry.
Sometimes that heirloom jewelry is just an average bauble in a pretty setting but actually not worth much, or someone from generations past may have already switched out the valuable gems to sell them.
OP should have filed a police report with it.
Go to small claims court and cut contact.
Story two: OP should sue these deadbeats and shame them in every way she can. As for the family who support them, tell them that anybody who believes cheating "family" is not family to her.
If you had video of her stealing the ring, you should have gone to the police and had her arrested.
THEY WERE JEALOUS BECAUSE THE CAKE 🎂 WAS SO DAMN ! GOOD !
Story 1 she should've kicked him to the curb at Xmas
Anyone who talks crap about cake, let alone chocolate cake, are soulless monsters. OP was too good for that family.
Jason doesn’t deserve to have a woman in his life if this is how he treats them
That would've been the first and last time of them laying eyes on me. Later for that cheater and his flock of flying monkeys.
I wouldn’t waste any more time on those family members gaslighting and lying about paying you for the cake. Just drop it but don’t forget it.
Story 1 OP should get ring check out to make sure mil hasn't replaced the stones with glass.
Lisa has probably had the diamond switched out for CZ, have a jeweler inspect it.
Per the birthday cakes: OP, you are not required to "respect" people who use you, lie to you, and then stiff you over the money they owe you. Be sure everyone else in the family knows what they did, and that they then tried to con you out of a second birthday cake.
Story 2, OP, never do anything for family members unless you get the money up front. They'll screw you over every time. Been there, fine that. Your own family can be your worse enemies.
Or profess to be Christian. Some how God will tell them not to pay.
OP needs to get the ring checked to make sure no stones were replaced.
3 tier cake. And they refuse to pay! Ob's. Tell the family complaining to pay up or stfu. Like decorating cake is easy, with all the bells and whistles possible now a days.. Bakers Rock.
I always love the typos in the script. It adds character to the presentation. But I LOVE "nervous anus"! That is going to be my excuse for everything from now on!
I was full of nervous anus :(
Omg yes.
I hate the typos because I have trouble hearing and want to read along without confusion. Please don't encourage the typos ):
That one was hilarious, but I wonder what she was really trying to say!
@@nannettepolcastro4799 the word she meant was "anonymous"
When I was a baby, my mother inherited 3 flawless blue diamonds 3 carats each. She already had one in her own heirloom ring. So there were 4 in total. They are worth a LOT of money. Because my oldest brother didn't get my sister-in-law an engagement ring, my mother gifted her one of the rings on their 10th anniversary. They adored each other. After that, she left all of her jewelry to me when she died, as I am her only daughter. She had requested that I save the other two rings for my nieces, her grand daughters.
When my oldest niece was talking marriage, I offered one of the rings to her. None of the settings were her style but the stone could be removed and reset, with another stone (I had several sapphires for the purpose.) Her fiance designed a setting himself (which he could now afford because he didn't need to buy a gem.) I will forever remember the frantic call from him when he took the ring to the jeweler to have the diamond removed and reset. I had sent along the sapphire and was going to pay to have the sapphire put into the old ring. You know, just do it all at once. Well the jeweler appraised the diamond.....lol. Fiance didn't think I could possibly know the value of the stone itself and called to let me know. I told him it was about what I expected and was the reason for my stipulation.
My stipulation? In the event that the marriage didn't take place, I would buy the setting from him instead of him getting ring back. After I assured him it was what I wanted and what my mother would have wanted, he went ahead with the resetting of the diamond. He then decided to pay the small amount to have the sapphire placed in the old setting. When he brought the old ring back to me, he offered to show me the new ring.....and as tempted as I was I decided to wait until my niece had been given the ring. It's amazing! My mother would have been quite pleased.
They married and now have two children. That was over 20 years ago and that ring still shines and sparkles.
Shortly before they married, we had an incident with my nieces stepmother trying to switch the the blue diamond for her own diamond, but it was caught. She then DEMANDED that she get one of the diamonds. I told her that there were two left. One for my other niece and one was mine. She demanded that I give her one of them anyway as she is the wife of my brother and my mother would have wanted her to have one the way my other sister in law did. I told her that not only had she never met my mother but my mother would never have given her one one because had mother been alive my brother would never have married her. My mother would have talked him out of it. Besides, even my other sister in law, who my whole family adores, didn't get one until their 10th anniversary. That was the last conversation I had with her. She and my brother divorced less than a year later......after 4 years of marriage. She actually tried to get one of the diamonds in the divorce.
She failed.
@ *ACCER* thank you for sharing this absolutely *AMAZING* story! I think that this would actually make a really good video episode on the *rGirl relationships* channel! I _do_ have a question; I might be reading your comment wrong so PLEASE forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but are you saying that this "step mother" woman is the _new wife_ of the _ORIGINAL_ guy/fiancé whom you gave the diamond to in order to propose to your niece? Did he really divorce your niece? If so, I'm glad you didn't offer him another diamond, and I'm glad he didn't get to keep the original diamond you meant for his wife (your NIECE) to have. (Although I do wonder how the stepmother apparently knew SO MUCH about the situation with the diamond. Sounds like hubby was running his mouth about things that no longer concerned him as he had married out of the family.)
This also PERFECTLY illustrates (an _unpopular opinion,_ I'm sure) why I personally would *NOT* give away any family heirloom jewelry to a son, nephew, or any _male_ family members, simply due to the fact that if they happen to get divorced from the woman they chose, it would be difficult (if not downright IMPOSSIBLE) to get the jewelry back from this woman once she leaves the family. I'd give them money, gifts and things like that for a gift, but ALL family jewelry would stay with the *BLOOD* female family members so that it will actually be with _relatives_ as it was meant to be. And I'm not talking about "distant" relatives who want nothing to do with the family, but relatives who actually care about family history and heritage and would cherish these treasures objects. I know that many would disagree with me on this line of thinking and call me *TA* and *selfish,* but what is the point of having *"FAMILY"* heirlooms if just ANY random person is able to get ahold of them?
@@Rose_Bride Heavens NO! It was the stepmother of my niece.....her father's new wife.
I have two MUCH older brothers (18 and 20 years older.) The oldest brother married at 18. My mother inherited the other rings when they had been married about 8-9 years at that point. So to honor their 10th anniversary, she gave my SIL one of the rings. They have now been married over 50 years and my SIL still wears it.
Then there is the other brother. He married, had two kids, divorced when they were toddlers and had full custody of them. He remarried when they were in their late teens/early 20's. THAT wife is the one that tried to switch the diamond and then demanded one. She of course knew about them because I had offered it and my brother mentioned that our mother had left diamonds for the girls.
Those diamonds were so old that they didn't initially have serial numbers. When that became a thing in the 80's, I considered it. Within a few years my insurance company required it to insure them so I had it done. Greedy SIL didn't know that. She just knew they were antiques and family heirlooms. Because of that, she thought I wouldn't be able to prove which diamond was which. When she tried to switch the diamonds, the jeweler looked up the number. I was still the legal owner. I didn't transfer ownership until after my niece married AND they were able to insure it. Until then, I maintained the insurance and legal ownership. I was called and the police notified.
I didn't press charges over the attempted theft......but a police report was made. This was NOT done for her benefit but for my brother. That report was used in the divorce a little over a year later.
Just so you know, family heirlooms, at least in the US, are returned to the family of origin in most divorce cases. I don't blame you though, in fact, my SIL (the good one) has made it clear that HER diamond is to be given to one of our great nieces. We are lucky enough to have 4 great nieces to pass them to in the future.
My nieces both have their diamonds and are both married to their original husbands. In fact, my poor middle brother is the only member of our family to ever be divorced.....and he did it twice!
Your mother knew why she gave them to you
1st story... why the put down for Conservative Religious?
The way The MIL and fiancé behaved are not Conservative nor religious.
They act like demons.
Check the diamond ring that the stones weren't switched.
13:28 go with a professional and check the ring if is the same, like the diamond and the other materials!!
OP said she cannot make your sons birthday cake. She is busy you find someone else.
WOW ! THEY TREATED YOU EXACTLY HOW YOU ALLOWED ! THEM. Too !
Isn’t this victim blaming?
People who use family for their talents without paying them, or any kind of appreciation, really need to grow up
Last story he’s with the right family. He should never go back to his fathers. He was only teased bully made fun of there.
It’s a delicious cake that’s all that freaking matters. His family is wacko he should’ve defended you.
I am mostly confused why OP only did a lawsuit, and didn't file a police report... like, it was grand theft. With video evidence.
Report them to police.
Tell mom and grandma to pay you then.
Sue his mother and make sure your not being played .
You must not drop the suet and if she does not give the ring back right away have her jailed
They didn’t respect you do what your brother said go to small claims court get your money back or whatever money you can get back
Story 2: Yeah, that's why you DON'T do business with family
Story 2 :- RESPECT IS EARNED, it is not a right. II certainly would not give out any to the elders in this story, all they are due is to be staked out in the middle of the road, on a cattle mart day, "and let the mart begin!!!". Disgusting people, pay your debts. OP, if anyone EVER says anything about this again, just ask them if they are volunteering to pay, and KEEP ON ASKING WHOEVER, UNTIL IT IS PAID. NTA OP, NTA.
Your nephew should be receiving survivor benefits from social security. If his condition is serious enough he may be able to qualify for SSI & free medical/meds (SSI & SSD when he’s an adult). Please look into seeing if their parental ties can be severed & you & husb can get full permanent guardianship.
1) my middle name is doormat. 2) I'm doormats twin sister. 3) bro & SIL have to pay child support via CPS to aunt.
Families please please raise your girls to be strong not naive women so they don’t get robbed and used. Sometimes I hear these stories and I lose my mind. Not blaming the women at all but wonder why they trust these slimy people
Seriously.
In the title story the OP is most assuredly *NOT* the arsehole. Given that the engagement ring is the OP's family heirloom. How does the OP's ex's mother (other than being a Karen) think that she has *ANY* claim to it?
Story 1
You sue his family for the ring he has no right to remove your family heirloom and you will not see it again if you don't sue her so press charges and get her arrested and get the stones checked before you except the ring
LAWSUIT?? Take the video to the cops, and HAVE HER ARRESTED !!!!
if she is willing to PAY...WHY can't she just go to a bakery ??? She never intended to pay.. and you DO NOT need to RESPECT THIEVES and SCAMMERS !! OR AH's who defend people like them!!
Those idiots saying OP disrespected those relatives refused to pay, yeah they disrespected OP first. Also OP should never do anything for those relatives that went against OP, don't do anything for them and remind them of this incident should they ever ask for anything from OP.
Those idiots are doormats, enablers, and abusers themselves. If they excuse such behavior, then that just proves they would of done the EXACT same or worse
If you let one person use you as a stepping stone everyone else will walk right over you
S3 NTA you protected your nephew and the other kids. Don't pass on the messages on from stepmom and she has no say in anything. If he receives SSI and benefits that is the only reason why they want him back.
check that she didn't switch out the stone for glass
*Never meet the potential in-laws without doing a little research. I was blindsided when a girl I was dating introduced me to her family as I looked across the judging eyes at the dinner table I stopped on one guy in particular his eyes widened & he just screamed "YOU" then jumped over the table & charged at me, (Turned out I fought with this guy on a drunken night out awhile back & left an impression & he turns out to be my then girlfriends brother) I didn't want to hurt hurt him so was just restraining him as his family sat their in shock, his father stood up & said "I think you'd better leave". Worst first impressions I have ever had with girlfriends family.*
Jason has to pretend to be religious in front of a family that breaks several of the 10 commandments??? Hahaha.
Story one his family are evil. OP was a complete push over, not that she deserved it as no one deserves that treatment but she could have stopped all this wayyyy before this went down. Even afterwards she didn’t change her number to stop contact.
I'll never understand why people let stuff slide with their future in-laws. I'd be dumping the fiancé the moment his family shit on me and he didn't defend me.
Wow Story 1 jumped all over the place. I mean, why would the fiancé have the ring? Why would he propose to her with HER family heirloom ring? If they had in on video Lisa stealing the ring, then what's up with the lawsuit? You go to the police and they come over and have a friendly chat with Lisa and Voila! You got your ring back. Cops love this cut and dry cases. Trying to find who stole the ring is a bitch but you had proof. And before anyone says maybe this wasn't in America, once again, they made mention of 'in their state.' I could be wrong though. But I'm still stuck on him proposing to her with HER family ring. And her friends said they were told she had stolen the ring. Once again, HOW DO YOU STEAL YOUR OWN FAMILY RING when the ring in question is with someone who is most definitely NOT family?!
I imagine it's because the ex's family were wealthy and/or very well-known in the city, and considering the trash mil, I can see her trying to drag the lawsuit out to tire OP. I feel like anyone toxic and entitled would of done the same. And let's be honest, cops, more often than not, are useless in the sense that they can't do much (or just choose not to).
The United States is not the only country that has states
Never ever give your ring for someone else to use for you .
Make them buy one themselves
Post all the previous messages from her and her mom on that group chat then see what the family think of them then cut them off. Do not answer any further messages or calls from them.
Lmao: Rule of Cheating: If You can't pay for Living conditions on your own, it's not wise to cheat.
Whatever you do DONT wear the ring. Put it in a safety deposit box where they can't get it! Also rig your apartment with cameras to see who comes in while you are at this so called meeting? I'll bet Jason has provided the MIL with a key! MIL should still face jail time for B&E, and theft. As for Mommas boy am glad you ditched him
Story 3
Keep your nephew he was abused and he should have no say in his medical issues,they allowed his life to become hell they want the money
Why was she so stupid in story 1? First, she didnt know where her ring was? Or accept the abuse of Jason and his family? Why didnt she tell why they broke up and just let things just happen? She is very passive.
So what exactly was the point behind MIL trying to steal the ring? She was rid of the DIL she didn't want anyway was this all just a cash grab? Or was there more to it than that? If is was all about money why didn't she sell the ring instead of drawing attention to it and then she ended up giving it back along with a fine? None of that made any sense. Was she unhinge or something? Also, why would you insult someone you are trying to convince to do something for your for free? It's not like that's going to make them change their mind and want to help you now that you've put them down. If anything they might want to cut you off completely and ignore any attempts you might make to contact them again. Foolish people need to really think about their words and actions first.
in the case of the cake, OP was inconsistent. She first said that she couldn't do it because she was busy with her thesis. So when cousin offered to pay, she accepted . If she really was that busy, there is no money in the world that will buy her the time she needed to complete her thesis. She should have said no from the beginning and stayed in the negative no matter how much money they offered.
Three good storys. On the last story I agee with the last coments on money. If in the USA the child with disabiltys and a parent that has passed he would be intitled to Moms SSA if she was working at that time or the SSI. About $900 a mo.
The "nervous anus" instead of the "nervousness" made my day 😂😂😂
THE CLEANING OF THE RING 💍 ?? THEY HAVE 2 BE HILLBILLYS ??
Story 2
Go to small claims court
Story 2, start using contracts and a deposit for all cake transactions.
Have the ring verification done, to make sure it was not switched. Nta
So OP only left her cheating ex after she caught him cheating. The rest of the time she's just happy and content being a doormat. You see OP when you don't respect yourself, you can't really expect other people to respect you.
His mother is a real user
It could have been his family heirloom and would still belong to you
S2. Well that was dumb wasn't. Hopefully you hold strong and never make another for them. Respect the ultimate trump card, I might make 1 more cake, basic sheet cake, and cover it in horrible messages from them and bring printouts for people to read since that cale will be on the floor fast.
I was invited to boyfriends family Christmas and was asked to bring chocolate candy. I got a two pound box of assorted chocolates from Sees. Boyfriends father took one and muttered something in a different language and I asked what was wrong. Was told I got the wrong candy. It should have been pralines . I just said that they should have asked for pralines then and not just said chocolates. Honestly, it just made me think it was intentional to point out I didn’t understand their culture. And that my boyfriend should be with someone from the same culture. We always got along so well until his parents were around. Constantly pointing out that I didn’t even speak their language. I was learning though.
I am confused, where I live pralines are sweet confections made primarily of sugar, nuts, and butter. Very tasty, but they don't have chocolate.
@@conjumonblue6450 exactly. Have someone get the “ wrong “ item just to complain and say oh he/she doesn’t care and have no respect. But in reality he/she got what they were told to bring.
It happened to me 1 time and I had to bring brownies but after arriving, placed them on a table with other desserts, I get yelled at for not bringing cupcakes. I showed everyone there the text about bringing brownies and the look on everyone’s face when i took the brownies I paid for with me and left.
Of course I get the please come back messages and we’ll try them and it was a joke and a misunderstanding. I asked, where’s the joke? Why aren’t I laughing if it’s a joke…
I enjoyed 200 brownies. By myself
I’m now married 4 years. That ex gf is still single and wondering why
I don’t understand how people stay in these relationships. I just don’t get it. I would’ve and have been gone. I’m not staying in something that isn’t serving me or my spirit. Absolutely not. I’m married and in an equal partnership. We didn’t play games, and speak our minds on everything. We bicker and argue, but we never insult or try to intentionally harm or humiliate the other. He’s my other half no one’s going to hurt him not even me. He thinks the same way. How did she stay until he cheated. Everything he did was enough to leave the first time. I don’t get it. I guess my parents raised me differently. Why are people waiting until they do even more egregious things to prove they don’t care or respect you. People can be very dangerous in relationships. You have to have some self awareness and self preservation. Maybe my mom watches too much 48 hrs, and it stuck on me. There’s a lot of DV, and not giving anyone one time to disrespect me. There are no second chances. You’re lucky you got the first chance.
# 1 no damn way am I going to provide the engagement ring if a man proposes to me. # 2 how stupid could you be to let him keep the ring that was yours to begin with. That ring would have been leaving with me. # 3 could you read faster. It takes all I have not to loose interest in the story when you read so slow.
2nd story. NTA. I hate the whole " respect your elders" thing. U get respect when you give respect. OPs fam is trash.
Ok maybe I’m insensitive but if the people around you treat you like 💩 and you just take it that’s kinda on you. Pull yourself together and stand up for yourself/cut them off. Geez. These Reddit stories with doormats get so annoying.
Story one. Christ, what an endless victim.
If you put up with family bullshit for even ONE dinner, you must need psychiatric therapy, to continue this abuse by a man who's supposed to love you.
What's up with relatives barging in someone's BISNESS an less they paying for the job. Buz off.
How much disability money your newphew get, bc thats why the want him back
story 2 reminds me of a story that I had with a client, I am a makeup artist, have been for over 20 years, well I charge a very reasonable price to do a full face of makeup, and actually kinda under value my work to a degree. Well I did this woman and her daughter's makeup for the son/older brother's wedding. They both loved their makeup, and even tipped me $50, as I make people put down a 50% deposit and make them pay before I leave, that way if they have issue with how something looks, I can fix it before I leave and I make sure that everything is great with the client before I walk out that door, that way no one can come back on me about not liking a job. I also make them sign off on the contract that they must sign with the booking & deposit, to show the job has been finished, closed out and everyone is happy with the outcome. Well 5 months after I did their makeup for the wedding, I had a charge back for a refund on my paypal(they allow you 6 months to ask for a refund if paid by goods & services) from this woman for the full amount. At the time I didnt have that kind of extra money laying around as my husband had just returned from Iraq, had been injured and had a brain injury also, plus we were dealing with me having to have major back surgery, ending up with an infection afterwards, which ended me back in the ER, ICU another surgery and then 6 weeks of IV antibiotics and while I was in the hospital 2 days after the second surgery my MIL died suddenly, so to say life was stressful and nothing was going right was an understatement, so when I got that refund notice along with pictures of a makeup job that I 100% did not do and thankfully I had the before pics and the after pics that were dated with the day I did the makeup as it was the day of the wedding and you could tell it was completely different makeup done and it was dated 3 days after the wedding and was taken with an iphone, I take mine with a professional camera and make sure everything is dated and saved not only to my portfolio, but into a file folder with the signed contracts, along with the invoice and payment through paypal for the deposit and final job. I guess you can tell I have been screwed over a few times in the past that I go to all of these lengths to cover my ass. Well thankfully I was able to prove my side of the case and paypal gave me back my money, she tried to get me to settle for half and I refused as I was owed my full amount and I wasnt even willing to return the $50 tip either simply for the stress she was causing me at a time I had enough stress in my life. She even tried to get paypal to eat the cost and let us both keep the money, but paypal refused as she lied, it was $300 and they were not willing to eat that much money. Well her daughter's senior prom was 3 weeks after we settled everything through paypal(this woman never did realize my mom was also an attorney, so it would have only cost me filing costs to sue her in small claims court). The daughter reached out and asked me to do her makeup for her prom and her graduation and when I told her there was no way I would work with their family ever again after what I had been dealing with for the past month with her and her mom. She was confused and to be honest if she was lying, she deserves an academy award for her performance. She was hysterical crying because she had been talking about me doing her makeup for both her prom and graduation for months with her SIL, because the SIL was upset that she had her makeup done for free at MAC in the mall for $50 in product purchase. Granted her MIL & SIL paid $125 per person, and you could tell, but hey I understand a wedding can be crazy expensive. So the SIL had offered to pay for her husband's little sister's makeup for both prom and graduation as her gift as it was going to be $250 for both events and she couldnt afford that being 17 and no job. Well when I told her to call me and I would explain, I had her put the phone on speaker and I explained to her, her older brother, and the SIL as to why I would not take the job no matter how much the money would help me at that moment and they offered to pay me double. In the end, I did not do the job, the girl was completely embarassed at what her mom, did the brother was apologizing and even said he was wondering why the mom was being so shady and even got nervous when the girl asked for my information to book the jobs. In the end it taught me another lesson and that is, that I no longer accept paypal goods & services as payment, they can pay the deposit with paypal friends & family as that is non-refundable whether they cancel the appointment or have their makeup done and that is stated clearly in my contract they must sign when booking their time and date. I now only accept venmo or cash that way no one can try and come back on me and ever put me through that stress again. The daughter couldnt even legally book me anyways as she was only 17, and had to have a guardian or an adult sign it and make the payment in their name. I did kinda feel bad refusing to do the girl's makeup seeing as she didnt do it and claimed that they didnt even know anything about it, but I couldnt put myself in that position again.
So OP only left her cheating ex after she caught him cheating. The rest of the time she's just happy and content being a doormat. You see OP when you don't respect yourself, you can't really expect other people to respect you.
So OP only left her cheating ex after she caught him cheating. The rest of the time she's just happy and content being a doormat. You see OP when you don't respect yourself, you can't really expect other people to respect you.