162 - Assland

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 300

  • @FlaminggMoe
    @FlaminggMoe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +330

    "I'm happy where I am. In a garage with the truth". - Tim Dillon

    • @haideralibd
      @haideralibd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      1:00:31

    • @trentjung8035
      @trentjung8035 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      The fans are requesting Tim Dillon to come back to the garage

    • @namelesswalaby
      @namelesswalaby 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yes Tim please go back to the garage for the love of god

    • @Anita_Backrub
      @Anita_Backrub ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂😂

    • @Juansvids
      @Juansvids ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@trentjung8035 yessir. There’s no angst anymore. No more hatred.

  • @joeyorlando547
    @joeyorlando547 5 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    "Where can I eat late night thats open 24/7??"
    Tim- "Go to bed"

  • @justinreilly1
    @justinreilly1 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Just stumbled onto one of the best rants ever- from plotting presidential assassinations at the knickerbocker to barricading yourself in the bathroom bc your kid is trying to knock down the door to steal your back medication, this is one of those Tim rants that epitomizes America it’s best 🇺🇸

  • @elliotjoseph9654
    @elliotjoseph9654 5 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    I will forever listen to Tim Dillon, you are my internet daddy now

    • @Alex-sr7xu
      @Alex-sr7xu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      To me, he's a like a guide... a philosopher. Tim is my Socrates.

  • @danielluna7648
    @danielluna7648 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Tim Dillon is the inspirational speaker this generation needs, but doesn't deserve.

  • @papetoure952
    @papetoure952 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    The Doja Cat bit is one of the funniest things I heard in a while, this is the guy for end of the world comedy

  • @CedricWilliams67
    @CedricWilliams67 5 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    Doja cat lyric breakdown....flawless. "written by malfunctioning speech to text". Lol

    • @mindgames9614
      @mindgames9614 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Time stamp?

    • @D34D22
      @D34D22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@mindgames9614 40:11

  • @KarenTookTheKids364
    @KarenTookTheKids364 5 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    I love how the Wix ad led to Tim saying that amateur photographers should be thrown in a lake.

  • @matthewbond375
    @matthewbond375 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Do you keep it juicy?!
    DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?!

  • @bradleyjones288
    @bradleyjones288 5 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    I would watch Tim Dillon do anything. I would get cable again to watch it. Give the man what he needs to create goddamn it.

    • @LukeOfEarl77
      @LukeOfEarl77 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I heard he has a pornhub account if you pay for the premium service

    • @Yodalemos
      @Yodalemos 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I think we need to keep him poor and struggling for our content.

    • @aculasabacca
      @aculasabacca 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Yodalemos I totally agree, but if he ran for president he'd have my vote.

    • @aculasabacca
      @aculasabacca 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@LukeOfEarl77 How dare you defile this thread with such an abhorrent post?

    • @bahaeddinelimam3047
      @bahaeddinelimam3047 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@aculasabaccahappy with the new episodes?

  • @phoenixrising7047
    @phoenixrising7047 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Tim has the best ads hands down.

    • @blazedandconfused477
      @blazedandconfused477 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Tim was inspired by Cumtown's ads.

    • @trentjung8035
      @trentjung8035 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The only show where the ads are actually entertaining as well LOL

    • @moriyokiri3229
      @moriyokiri3229 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Are these people real doctors? Who gives a fuck

  • @genghiskhan4d5
    @genghiskhan4d5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    How does this only have 32k views?!?!? One of the best podcasts of all time

    • @Johnnylewis42069
      @Johnnylewis42069 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He really blew up in the past half a year. This episode is my favorite I come back and listen often haha

  • @MaTtYMcBlack
    @MaTtYMcBlack 5 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Tim is my Sunday morning church mass.

    • @GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
      @GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders ปีที่แล้ว

      Tim is more like my Fox News and I'm one of those old ladies that watches until 1am

    • @paulfroelich1024
      @paulfroelich1024 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You say that, but I have listened to Tim on the way to church for years.

  • @tangyplays2661
    @tangyplays2661 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    The Songland material had me crying. So funny. Thank you!

    • @centurionl
      @centurionl 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was driving and almost crashed cuz i couldn't see through my tears

  • @griffytok7220
    @griffytok7220 5 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?

  • @Dild0Fagg1ns
    @Dild0Fagg1ns 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    I'm crushing an Adderall during my shift at my restaurant right now. If everyone was as nice as you Tim.

    • @UniMatrix_1
      @UniMatrix_1 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You're an American inspiration 🥔🚬

    • @FRM101
      @FRM101 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      share with the class

    • @rosswalkman9652
      @rosswalkman9652 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We wish you well……. It’s a real knife fight out there.

    • @damiens6465
      @damiens6465 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Life in the big city… But you Have the adderal-and that ain’t nothin. Yes or yes?

  • @cecilyt006
    @cecilyt006 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Absolutely fucking brilliant start to finish!! I'm in awe of the brilliance. NOBODY is on point like Tim Dillon.

  • @GodsNode
    @GodsNode 5 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    No one knows funny LIKE CHRISSY TEIGEN.

    • @deezlesteezle
      @deezlesteezle 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

  • @TonsMoreCowbell
    @TonsMoreCowbell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +304

    Tim Dillon is the least gay male comic in hollywood

    • @lordswaggity1213
      @lordswaggity1213 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      TEST WHY ARE MY COMMENTS NOT GOING THROUGH

    • @lordswaggity1213
      @lordswaggity1213 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      THERE!

    • @alaskansummertime
      @alaskansummertime 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Actually he makes a lot less gay comments than the average Rogan podcast. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I really thought the pants were gonna drop last time the Legion of skanks were on.

    • @TonsMoreCowbell
      @TonsMoreCowbell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@alaskansummertime rogan was exhibit a for my comment. The man drinks more cum than water most days.

    • @deb2583
      @deb2583 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@lordswaggity1213 because you are a capslock addict.

  • @adanbravo4722
    @adanbravo4722 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This is my favorite episode ever. I don’t really listen to Tim anymore and I don’t pay for his patreon, but I can come back to this episode any day and laugh my ass off.

    • @Deezzznutttzzzx
      @Deezzznutttzzzx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It’s 10x more funny now ur missing out

  • @ajaj3196
    @ajaj3196 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Modonna's dad worked in a tank barrel factory well into the 90s. He worked with my neighbor.

  • @anonymousconflict2881
    @anonymousconflict2881 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Tim went off in this episode more than usual lol 😂

  • @mikeramaa
    @mikeramaa 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    “Kourtney Kardashian...A beagle!”

  • @amiller8030
    @amiller8030 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I miss these older episodes, the newer ones are good/ok but his older ones are prophetic and hilarious.

    • @trentjung8035
      @trentjung8035 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Hungry artists make great content

    • @deezlesteezle
      @deezlesteezle 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Tim's definitely not hungry.

  • @Sprite_525
    @Sprite_525 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    38:05 this has to be a ringtone

  • @Kambino
    @Kambino 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    such an underrated episode

  • @RJones-es7ur
    @RJones-es7ur 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Anyone else coming back to these gems after the Ben break-up and the general slide into Hell?

    • @MikeOcksmallClips
      @MikeOcksmallClips ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The show sucks now. Im glad I gave all the episodes archived from 1 to 160

  • @kyanrinel5898
    @kyanrinel5898 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    17:30 How happy am I that I decided to listen to this random old Podcast from Timmy D and stumbled upon one of the greatest comedic bits in the history of podcasting?
    Very, that’s how.

  • @Auz541
    @Auz541 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    You've earned a new fan!! Keep speaking the truth 😂😂

  • @jamesstewart9064
    @jamesstewart9064 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    this is the funniest hour and a half anyone will ever experience on the internet

  • @TheOhman123
    @TheOhman123 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This is one of the funniest things to come out of the galaxy's snatch.

  • @nexttonowhere
    @nexttonowhere 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "Fail because you just suck" - Tim Dillon 2019

  • @Scott-hh1dg
    @Scott-hh1dg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Tim this is the only podcast I get excited for during the week ahead of it being released, fucking great!

  • @newdawnfades444
    @newdawnfades444 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Tim Dillon saved my sanity

  • @maxr1826
    @maxr1826 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "I don't like Swingers, but I keep going back."

  • @armani4267
    @armani4267 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I love his take on Chrissy

  • @stephenbeltzner7736
    @stephenbeltzner7736 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    you are a fantastic comedian. thank you again brother.

  • @vinnythornton2930
    @vinnythornton2930 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    " nobody feels the sting of leather when they fuck up!" That statement encapsulates 2021

  • @Flashh130
    @Flashh130 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    “Bring the funny? Bring a gun.”

    • @deezlesteezle
      @deezlesteezle 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

  • @tom1574
    @tom1574 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I see moving to LA is going well

  • @mattdrummond3552
    @mattdrummond3552 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    So funny. You're so right about Soho house too. Got dragged there once in LA and it was overpriced and full of empty narcissists

  • @MewcePewpz
    @MewcePewpz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    discovering Tim Dillon has given my life meaning once again! To continue to sit around and wait for humanity to destroy itself pathetically. At least it's still pretty nice though, we still have food and comfort :)

  • @alucard6919
    @alucard6919 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "Many of you need to waste your time, that's all you're gonna do. In fact, your entire life, from birth to death, will be just different chunks of how you waste your time. " - Tim Dillon on photography.

    • @nighthawk695476
      @nighthawk695476 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I recently took up photography as a hobby. I cried laughing this "ad"

  • @thairivera
    @thairivera 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Opens with “go watch Two Dope Queens” 😂😂😂

  • @joejohnson2447
    @joejohnson2447 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is peak level podcasting!

  • @T.I.M.Thirteen
    @T.I.M.Thirteen 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Somewhere in the multiverse there is a podcast that is co-hosted by Tim Dillon and Eddie Pepitone. Imagine!

    • @karlstrasen4758
      @karlstrasen4758 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Glad I'm not the only one who is bouncing back and forth between those two. Eddie, Devan Costa, and Godfrey are doing really great pods right now IMO. Tim is "a demon from hell" tho

    • @monkeytrousers6180
      @monkeytrousers6180 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      They could have a shout off rival meltdown battle.

    • @mr.hostetter855
      @mr.hostetter855 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Eddie would just smoke crack and blow him after doing blasts.

  • @coktoe4487
    @coktoe4487 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Working my way back from the beginning. Another great one.

  • @newdawnfades444
    @newdawnfades444 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Tim is still funny but dude he was so hilariously resonating when he didn’t have big money

    • @MikeOcksmallClips
      @MikeOcksmallClips ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah I can’t listen to the new episodes they’re literally not good anymore. I still like Tim but he’s just not funny like he was here

    • @whitecandaceowens
      @whitecandaceowens ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Everyone is funnier when they’re sad and broke

    • @PRACTICALVELOCITY
      @PRACTICALVELOCITY ปีที่แล้ว +1

      factssss

  • @Kyle-xt8ip
    @Kyle-xt8ip 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    One of my favorites.

  • @Tom-V
    @Tom-V 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    He's right about how entertainment is regressing
    😂

  • @YeTism
    @YeTism 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The doja cat bit had me in tears

  • @filmerd
    @filmerd 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Tim Needs to host a show called race to the bottom which is all about the journey to Assland

  • @cadillacmac7099
    @cadillacmac7099 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I didnt use to watch the videos but now that I cant I want it.

  • @musicloverkathy
    @musicloverkathy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I know Ben is married, but I want him to marry me if they (heaven forbid) get divorced, I will be dead in a few years and he can have my apartment. It is in Canada and you have to be over 55, but Canada is ok.

  • @ontube781
    @ontube781 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    You are 100% right. I love America but it's crazy how hard we work yet your neighbor has the same or better than you living off the government.

    • @livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679
      @livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not everyone. I got sick at 25 and it took me 10 years to get disabilty and im still fighting them to raise it. My medicine costs 3 to 4 hundred a month. I think people like me with congenital probs should get it. (No matter what actually. You would have to be a millionare to think my m3dical expenses are cheap.) I was too sick to work more than 10 yrs so thsts part of the reason they didnt give me much.

    • @A.M.Noon94
      @A.M.Noon94 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679 I'm currently going through it myself since 2018 only to find out I "filled out the wrong form" so now I'm lawyering up.

  • @eevenz
    @eevenz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    smashing this like button with no regrets

  • @calwiggums3319
    @calwiggums3319 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Tim Dillon is quickly becoming one of my favorite comedians.
    Brilliant mind.
    (*Not to blow too much smoke up dudes ass)

  • @distinguishedcolleague2345
    @distinguishedcolleague2345 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Someone better have downloaded this podcast so when the aliens come they can learn what happened to us in our last days

    • @colebucket6009
      @colebucket6009 ปีที่แล้ว


      u😊fzzfads zit😊st t da lost. 😂🕉️♎️♊️☪️☪️♌️♌️😂❤❤❤❤❤😊 no mv
      To vc
      C
      K skim
      ,

    • @GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
      @GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders ปีที่แล้ว

      Got u fam

  • @annievkim
    @annievkim 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    You... are hilarious. LOL

  • @aculasabacca
    @aculasabacca 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    44:30 Whhaatt? get the fuck out of my office. LMAO

  • @johnortiz9201
    @johnortiz9201 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Top 5 episode

  • @ViolinViolaMasterclass
    @ViolinViolaMasterclass 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Omgggg the songs-thaaank you😄at one point in history, music was considered a sacred gift from God 😬😬😬

  • @AlbertBormant
    @AlbertBormant 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Tim is a prophet

  • @heatvisuals
    @heatvisuals 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hahahahhahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahhahah SoHo house yessssssssss!!!! Thank you for coming to Los Angeles Tim.

  • @clv9056
    @clv9056 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "The world is burning." Lmao

  • @Diogenes.of.Sinope
    @Diogenes.of.Sinope 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    1:06:05 is dilly's single best bit

    • @GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
      @GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders ปีที่แล้ว

      You got some nerve showing your face, Diogenes, your language is highly inappropriate, Thou speakest about which Thou knowest NAUGHT!
      🧐😝

  • @housematespodcast6738
    @housematespodcast6738 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    lay the pipe, buy an estate, simple

  • @APR944
    @APR944 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    B.Y.O. Omelette? What the hell is a BYO omelette? Bind... your... orphan...? Omelette? So they’re selling orphans you get to tie up. Well I’m not FOR THAT! SORRY. Call me a square.

  • @michaelhallen2808
    @michaelhallen2808 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Tim is a perfect mixture of Glenn Beck and Mort Downey Jr.

  • @absentstars474
    @absentstars474 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Tims cartoon arms make me hungry for easter ham

  • @mickeycarney1
    @mickeycarney1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very very good episode. Crazy how some of these old episodes have so few views. Is it an algorithm thing maybe?

  • @brencelt
    @brencelt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    God bless you

  • @dgregss
    @dgregss 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    59:05 Billie Eillish trashing Pt. 2

  • @johnnybegood1730
    @johnnybegood1730 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Tim, mr Tim, mr Tim Dillon, you beutiful fat dillonater you, All the respects from Romania. You a mean sob, a truthfull one, a funny assland mofo/fofo . We all have soo much to learn from this gut take that you do. I feel that ther's not much spin in your work, and that's always refreshing. Keep It up man, You'll need it to crack the bastards. I'm sure you'll find pleasure in it. Ass. Land. Man that's a trademark.

  • @phatbeatsonbadnews3360
    @phatbeatsonbadnews3360 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bring back the BEATINGS, bring back the BELT….Not feeling the sting of leather 😂😂.
    He’s brilliant

  • @CedricWilliams67
    @CedricWilliams67 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Please tell me Tim Dillon does yelp reviews of swingers.

  • @tophercortez7786
    @tophercortez7786 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm telling my kids this was Joe Rogan.

  • @phatbeatsonbadnews3360
    @phatbeatsonbadnews3360 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    His description of Doja cat’s musical process is laugh out loud brilliant…till I remember I was a hiphop head back in the day and the 90s was so beautiful (musically) and then THIS is what it became☹️
    Oh well it ain’t my fault so I’m turning up the volume and poplockin my fat arse to a Pete Rock beat 🍻

  • @RamiroEloy1997
    @RamiroEloy1997 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    1:03:08 Does anyone know what episode he's talking about where they talk Corey Feldman's performance???

    • @ViridianEmpire
      @ViridianEmpire 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      A full fucking year and these lazy pigs couldnt get you a number.

    • @annamarierutz2931
      @annamarierutz2931 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      On patreon its labeled Archives 68 Many Feathered Bird. It's from October in 2017

  • @MewcePewpz
    @MewcePewpz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    38:26 god i love this fucking bit....

  • @minakalsi4232
    @minakalsi4232 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    DO YOU KEEP IT JUICY DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH !

  • @bencurtis69
    @bencurtis69 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Top 3 Tim dillon episode

  • @oscar9680
    @oscar9680 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "It's one long orgasm, your whole fucking life" lmao true

  • @AAMarc
    @AAMarc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    LMAO 45:00

  • @Cogz
    @Cogz 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    1:01:37 - 1:06:15 part two of songland/bring the funny/eat that lunch

  • @vinesnicknv
    @vinesnicknv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Get David Ike on!

    • @tonypino5415
      @tonypino5415 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That would either be amazing or incredibly awkward.

  • @damenpetrak5884
    @damenpetrak5884 ปีที่แล้ว

    At first he used to make me laugh just seeing it comically and then you see how much truth is behind it and realize this could be the most clever man alive

  • @917nyc
    @917nyc ปีที่แล้ว +1

    one of my fav episodes lol this nigga was on fire

  • @etkarcalexico6526
    @etkarcalexico6526 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    the cover art has tim smoking reds and we all know he smokes marbi lights.

  • @PhillDC
    @PhillDC 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    They don’t know who to hate ... 😝

  • @AARONTHERATATTA
    @AARONTHERATATTA 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Love ya Timmy you fab queen slay sis.

  • @iTzDarKxStaR
    @iTzDarKxStaR 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I wanna watch listen

  • @kaliftedup
    @kaliftedup 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Stay in your garage with the truth!

  • @andrewlaco1776
    @andrewlaco1776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    We need to 'yes, and' our way into a sitcom that is literally the Waltons across the street from Euphoria. Just throw the whole spectrum onto my garbage plate and pass the hot sauce.

  • @heatvisuals
    @heatvisuals 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hahahahahah oregon trail !!!!

  • @timm7681
    @timm7681 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    What episode is the ray one he’s talking about at 1:03:00

  • @potatosalad3997
    @potatosalad3997 หลายเดือนก่อน

    1:05:30 saving this segment for myself
    Bring the funny….
    Bring a gun

  • @Anwuli832
    @Anwuli832 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm the last person that will ever post on this episode

  • @darkoverllord
    @darkoverllord 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    so good. ;D

  • @khaledelsayed5357
    @khaledelsayed5357 ปีที่แล้ว

    Already watched this yet TH-cam doesn’t believe me