I was apologized the first time in 10 years by a girl. And she used chatGPT to do it😅 I was like wow. This is an incredible amount of self-reflection that I honestly haven't seen you do before. It was through text. Weirdly enough it lack emotion and pre-faced every apology line with an excuse. Ex: I'm sorry I'm so independent that I don't include you when I do things with my friends. I honestly didn't even know how to reply. One for later messages she forgot to take off part of the AI response so it was obvious.
#6 - When she tries to make HIM feel bad for expressing his feelings. My biggest red flag is when I express something I'm upset about, and she manipulates ME into apologizing for upsetting HER by expressing my feelings. Never again
You should never apologize for sharing your feelings, but there is an automatic response of when you feel sad, I’ll feel sad. But in a lot of cases you can tell that without him even saying anything. Your partner definitely does affect your feelings but that is why you try your best to make them happy! When he’s in a good mood, your in a good mood too 😁😅
narcissistic sociopaths Google traits these traits will help you spot these peoples EARLY in the relationship before the love bombing stops , men must be able to SPOT these traits before marriage
Yeah, I broke up with a girl who during a serious discussion, claimed that I didn't understand. I asked her to explain where I didn't understand but she kept quiet. After 2 minutes I told her it was over due to her lack of communication. It's not my type of relationship. She was shocked. Best decision I made in that relationship.
I of course don't know the details, but sometimes people have trouble explaining themselves in heated situations about sensitive, complicated or emotional issues.
@FalcoSorreo True. She was playing games. A few days before the discussion, she had sent me a barrage of text messages while i was at work, and she was on leave, which didn't make sense. So before we met that evening, I made my mind up that it was over. However, I wanted her to explain her behavior before breaking up with her. When she didn't, I used her poor communication skills as an immediate reason to break it off on the spot.
This was LONG ago. Like 15 years but the first big red flag I just said no to was I was in the Army and living a long way from my girlfriend. My grandfather died and I was coming home for the funeral. I told her all about it and how I didn’t have much free time but I wanted to see her. I came home, funeral, burial, family visits and then the third day I saw her for a few hours that evening. She seemed happy enough but later that night I talked to her on the phone and all I got was the childish short answers and silent treatment. How are you? fine What are you doing? nothing What’s wrong? nothing This went on for a while and I finally figured out she was mad I didn’t prioritize her over my grandfather’s death. Once I realized what was going on I flat out told her “I’m not doing this! I traveled 4 thousand miles for my grandfather’s funeral and you’re pissy that I’m not making you my main priority when we’ve barely dated? It’s over and I’m done!” She then called me till I blocked her and then she called my sister.
That's so fucked up, I'm sorry you went through that. When my boyfriend's (now fiance's) grandmother passed away, I gave him all the space he needed to grieve and offered to lend an ear, but he was the silent kind of griever. I even got him and his family takeout from their favorite spot and just dropped it off, didn't even stay much longer than a quick hi and sorry for your loss since I wasn't that close to the family yet. It never occurred to me that someone could make it about them 😕
Women have been tearing men down for decades. More often than not its women who are emotionally insecure and selfish. Glad you didnt get stuck in a horrible situation.
Hmm, don't you think that after what you told her she understood and that you didn't neglect, or ignore her on purpose? Sometimes there are misunderstandings.
@@someone3187 Just the silent, mind reading game is enough really. But to hold it in till he's flown back to where he was, THEN play the game? Nuh Uhh. That's a variation of always putting the man in the wrong.
A lot of people have a hard time with apologies from what I understand. I've had multiple people, both men and women surprised when I apologized for when I did something wrong. I don't know why a sincere apology is so hard for some people? I've done something wrong and have been made aware of it or realize that I did I have to apologize to that person or I won't be able to sleep at night. I have to do it first thing. The reluctance or refusal to apologize is not just a female trait, this is a human being trait it seems. I've seen men just as bad at it as women. I can't comprehend it because to me it's so easy to say I'm sorry if I've done something wrong.
no no no!submit to the will of all womanhood and just go along with it,no matter what they say or do.just accept it asap.women are for life,men are only for Christmas day and boxing day,then they're just no use to man nor beast!the next time that your girlfriend gives you an order or a command,the only words coming out of your mouth are"jabol mein fury-owss!"
The mistake a lot of guys make is when they apologize (even if they don't need to), they think it's just a one-off and she'll understand & continue to respect you (or respect you even more...ha !). The exact opposite happens. Slowly, it becomes a repeated pattern and things deteriorate..
Here is another thing if she wants feedback and reach the next level and rather than accept it, and wont change and somehow rather than change all these excuses will come out. She has no intention to change. The man will no longer share stuff with her. Why because she wants the guy to change, but she wont change.
@@greghelstrom6751 There is also a big difference between wanting to 'change' someone, or working on something. I dated a girl for a while, and she SUCKED at communicating her feelings. I realized, near the end... my bloody own mother was the exact same. I felt at ease with it, but since she was a generation younger than my mother... she lacked the 30 years of experience my mom did have. I always felt like she was the perfect match to me, but our communication issues because such a big deal it put a crack in my love for her, because my patience was running thinner and thinner. It was, in the end, always about her and her feelings. My needs and emotions always came second, often even third. Days of ignoring me, or barely responding. She wasn't emotionally mature enough. And by stories of her mom. Her mom was struggling with the same issues. I basically calculated my odds of us working this out within a reasonable timeframe (5 years or so), but the other issues we had made it worse. After we planned our trip together, she even tried to break up when I was at the gate, tried another time 1,5 hours after meeting up. She did say sorry, but never took accountability. She was just deeply sorry for dragging me along with her rollercoaster of feelings. Spend hundreds of euro's on a trip (which she did pay back) only to realize she was using me to get laid. But the stress she surrounded our meetup with... I couldn't even get properly aroused around her. It was the loneliest weekend I ever experienced. Alone in another country, with someone that in total spend a day worth of time with me, instead of a half a week vacation together. Hours late, having to leave early. And after I wanted to talk about it when I came back. She shut down once again. She wanted to stay friends, but couldn't even be bothered to respond to simple texts at some point. Avoidant attachment in a nutshell. I learned the hard way.
Nah communication that's the first flag that always shows up the moment a partner says "whatever" to me in an argument I call shit off cause that's the beginning of the breakdown and I'm not sticking around to see the whole mountain collapse on me
My ex-fiance would never apologize for anything. When I was diagnosed with cancer, our summer plans had to change, and she wanted an apology for it & expected me to "make it up to her." We were no longer a couple soon after that.
Psychologists will tell you cancer can be a mental and emotional issue just as much as the physical environmental cause. Let go of stress and resentment.
I had a now ex-fiancée who came in acting all pissy about something, so I asked her what was wrong. Her response was "NOTHING!" in a rather hateful tone and then sat and glared at me. After a couple tries and not getting any kind of useful response, I had it (this sort of stuff had gone on for some time, so this wasn't the only incident). I refused to do the "20 questions" game with her, and since this was the proverbial last straw, I ended it. (Edit: Some people prefer the gender neutral "fiancé", which is what I generally use. However, just to avoid any confusion, I've added the extra "e" so it's "fiancée" -- "engaged woman". I'm not a French speaker.)
Standing your ground can be a tough one. You have to draw the line in the sand clearly on what you expect or are willing to tolerate 🤞 if your expectations are clear, there is no reason to get pissy 🫡
@HondaTurboToys the 25+ narasstic romance scammers in the past 6 years tried to gaslight me to ignore my boundaries. I don't know how I keep attracting them but they keep coming
If they're constantly testing the boundaries in a combative way leave . BEFORE you get exhausted at the BS & give in. That really su×, trust me. It Just. Gets. So. Much. Worse.
Yep. And the thing to remember about setting boundaries is that you have to always be prepared to walk away in order to enforce them. She's likely going to push back when you call her out.
I grew up with these women. My mother did apologize to me, once. And she has WAAAY more than one apology to make. She died when I was in my thirties. I remember being shocked. I can't recall my sister ever doing it, rarely as it was, in a way that doesn't get her completely off the hook. This is why, even though my biological urges were in full effect, I was always second guessing myself when approaching women, the fear of rejection wasn't as bad as the fear of getting emotional attached to someone who behaves in this manner. I was shocked when my Ex-girlfriend apologized to me, and my wife does this routinely, and I have seen her sister do this too. They do exist. You need to move away from women who grew up with similar households you grew up with, and, if needed to a different place altogether.
Thank God you women won. You beat me at everything in my past. Now, at 59, I want for nothing. I own everything in my sight, no bills, everything including my home is paid for, all my vehicles, paid for. I have an absurd pension, and if I still was in the “learning phase” I’d risk losing everything, and for what… Some bu llshit illusion of “love.” Thank you all for treating me like I was poison for most of my life for trying to be a good man. I learned.
You seem to address all women like some cancer instead of considering that it's just the women in your past. I don't take responsibility for them as a woman, I'd say sorry anyway but it seems like you're better off so I don't know why you're so bitter 😅
For decades when any woman (or sometimes men) try’s giving me silent treatment I will say “ooo the silent treatment that great won’t work on me because that’s what I want so thank you” almost instantly the woman will start talking when I let her know or remind her that won’t work on me. I also refer (out loud) back to my college years all the psychology classes and counseling classes I took in addition to what was required and remind her “you forget who your dealing with the little manipulative tricks don’t work on me because I recognize them for what they are”. My wife (second) have been together almost 20 years now she does not do any of that because she knows I won’t tolerate it instead where there is a problem she asks if we can talk to which I agree (with us the words “can we talk” does not bother either one because it’s what keeps us strong) and we talk out whatever the issue(s) is or are. Communication is always the answer for us!
I should have actually added to this when I say to someone “ooo the silent treatment that’s great won’t work on me because that’s what I want….” I actually mean that because instead of hearing the person complain I’d rather have silence
My wife and I have been married almost 15 years. She talks to me about how she feels. She apologizes when she makes mistakes. We enjoy each other’s company because we’ve worked through our problems with each other. We don’t really even use words the same, so we have misunderstood each other a lot over the years-but we have always put in the effort to overcome them. It has definitely made our relationship strong. We also both live by the same principles, and live a God-centered life. I think without that in common, we would be struggling a whole lot more.
My ex said to me after I finished a nightshift, "we need to talk" I said okay, her next sentence was "I want you out".. When I went to get my stuff she had another man in the house, time span: 2 days.
I don't disagree with you but have you ever thought of why she became your wife to begin with? I'm asking you as a divorced man myself and I know that my own inadequacies led to a marriage that should never have happened to begin with.
@dirtyace1668 Because... Unfortunately, females are still seen as the prize, when it comes to LTR's or Marriage. Until Men no longer swallow that fallacy and wake up to realize, that Men are the Prize, when it comes to relationships... Lots and lots of Men, will continue to fall for one of the biggest lies, that Men have been brainwashed with: "Happy wife, happy life." girlfriends and wives, MUST aid and assist Men, to make their hard lives easier, better, NOT to become something more to carry on their shoulders.
Thanks Emily. I have been dealing with exactly these 5 things from my wife of 15 years. I was too young to see them initially. Keep shedding light on this for the young guys so they can choose carefully!
Ex did all this. Closest I ever got to an apology was after she banged on and screamed through the door while on the phone. When i finally opened it, and i explained i was talking to someone from our church, she blamed me with, "great, now I'm the @-hole" - the closest thing i ever got to an apology in a decade. She tells everyone im a narcissist, but I was able to give her one more thing she wanted- a divorce (she filed.)
Did she get alimony? Most of the time the woman gets awarded the alimony, and it's all thanks to no fault divorce. If we had fault divorce, this would probably cut down on some of the divorces women initiate, although then these women would probably set up a trap and say you can bang anyone you want this one time or whatever else, then when you do it, she'll scream fault then file for divorce. Men marry for love, women marry for a lifestyle and financial gain.
Hey! Stop describing my last relationship! 😎😎😎 (also you are absolutely correct - and I don’t care how attractive a woman is - I am NEVER putting up with that catalog of red flags EVER again!)
I'm not a subtle person. I made clear to my girl that if I should know something, SAY IT. No games. If you say you're okay or nothing is wrong, I drop it and move along. No longer together, as she couldn't do that.
MANY, MANY people, both men AND women, don't get "subtle". Explaining it, as you did, should be enough. But idiots gonna idiot, I guess. Glad you got out!
And this is why I am completely content with staying single for a while as I get my life in order. Falling in love with someone who rips your heart out and steps on it is beyond enough of a reason to stop taking these women serious.
This is exactly why I divorced my wife, anytime I tried bringing up an issue I was always told that she felt attacked and it was always turned back on me no matter what the issue and I always ended up apologizing. She never took accountability for anything in the relationship. We married in 2012, the marriage was pretty much over in 2018 because of this issue, and she also pulled away from all the little emotional things and the little things, but I kept doing all the little emotional things and little things. I stayed in the marriage from 2018 to 2023 just for my daughter until it got bad and had to call an end to it I could not take any more emotional abuse that was sly and always designed for me to fail.
Yeah, my ex pulled that kind of crap too. I couldn’t “correct” her on even an objective fact matter without her saying she “feels” “attacked” and all that nonsense. I’d pick my battles extremely carefully and word it as diplomatically as possible too. Plus all the other garbage. Now she’s out riding the CC and hitting the box wine. Frankly I’m glad I don’t have to put up with her on the daily anymore. Fragile insecure people that would rather destroy their lives, your lives, the kids lives rather than accepting a bit of accountability are baffling.
Hey! You must know my ex! Mine ended 2 months before my daughter was born when she told me she resented me. I had lost a job, along with 6 others and was having a difficult tike finding a new one. I too stayed in the marriage for my daughter until 9 years later I finally had enough of her crap and filed.
@@hurricaneaquatics So she dumped a bad husband??? No problems with that. Not all guys are good guys especially after that baby is born. You find out pretty quickly how quality of a man you have. As for this video, she is basically describing women who like to "play games". Any man who allows their woman to play games deserves what he gets. When I was single and dating, if a woman played games, she got ONE warning. If she did it again, she got dumped and it was easy as I didn't allow any women to live with me until I found "my wife" and I realized she was the one I wanted to live with and wake up next to every day. So far 29 years and running with very few problems since I picked a woman who has the same morals, values, and beliefs that I do.
@@thomasjoseph5876 well Thomas, if that's true, you got lucky. Now as much as you like to pat yourself on the back with your choosing skills of women, there are many who can trick the pants off the most astute man and play that game until they're married, pregnant, or both. Then, you get to see you married the devil. No, I don't blame her for making these videos and I don't know her situation. I just know a lot of these people aren't qualified to make these videos and just don't for money. To each their own. Happy for you that you chose well in your marriage and you're hapoy.
She's the lucky one! A guy accepted her as his woman, a woman with children from another Man! Unless he's a SIMP... She had to learn, how Men tic, so she can keep this High Value Man. At least... She did put in the effort, to be a better woman for this Man, which the immense majority of females, never do.
Instead of silent treatment: Hostility, combative, takes everything personally, doubles down on everything rather than take any accountability. Just general immaturity.
That first one hit me. I do not understand that. If my feelings were hurt, i have to apologize... How dare i suggest that you are not always right. Its easier to come to an understanding with yourself that not showing your emotions is easier, and a lot less painful. People wonder why men don't show feelings. What's worse, being sad because your sad or being sad because your partner doesn't take it seriously?
'A relationship that is fun, affectionate and loving', you nailed it Emily! Something I've never had despite two marriages, hope to experience one day❣️😮😊❤
Ugh. That was my x-wife... "Nothing / I'm fine". I had to finally just drag it out of her towards the end because it was too obvious, and it ended up being the dumbest, jealousy crap. Literally the chick at the drive through was looking at me wrong and I didn't notice, or I wasn't "jealous enough" when somebody said something to her while we're out - completely idiotic, junior high level crap. Very sweet person that talked way too much with the local gossip girls and ended up twisting her head around to the point of self destruction. Sad, but I'm glad we moved on.
The best advice I ever received in my life, to which I didn't listen, came from the officiant at my wedding after a few counselling sessions was, "Grab your hat and run, son."
Wow!! This is so representative about my first marriage. In 24 years of marriage she NEVER once said she was sorry to me, nor did she ever admit that she was wrong about anything.
I sincerely have to thank you Emily. Thanks to all your videos like this one I realize how many other men have shared in my experiences, I'm not as alone as I thought I was! Helps my understanding and self respect! 😊❤
My ex-wife always stated she did NOT believe in apologies - either offered or received because that would just mean the bad behavior was ok. None of my heartfelt apologies were ever accepted and, of course, that “a” word NEVER crossed her tongue in our 23 years of marriage. When I finally had enough and filled for divorce, she was so shocked and hurt she had a nervous breakdown.
I don't know if u are an alien or what, but is the first time in life that i hear a girl speaking like that about men's. I'm been insulted, hurted, depressed and a way long other things by girl, without explanation or nothing. Still fighting to stand up again, but as u said in other video's, probably i don't want to meet another girl for long time.. thank u for the nice words, for the understanding, for make us feeling humans and not always wrong.. hope in my life, that one day i will met someone like u.
You need accountability to receive a genuine apology for wrong doing. Accountability causes an ego insult for falling short of one’s personal beliefs of themselves which brings shame. If she has no accountability, she won’t apologize because she then feels shame. You can’t have a conversation and argue or otherwise convince a person to be accountable for their actions thoughts and emotions if they didn’t learn this principle before coming into your life. You have to move on from them.
I dunno, I take accountability and apologize and I almost never feel shame. I feel like having an ego is what causes shame, which is already a red flag
@kaponofryxell4798 Everyone has an ego. Some have an overblown arrogant or very insecure & defensive ego, thats where the problems lie. A strong ego, a strong sense of self respect & pride (Whilst under good regulation lol) is fine. It helps us thrive.
People in general who won't acknowledge their wongs and apologize are stunted. These are perpetual know-it-all types. If you know everything (hint:nobody freaking does), you can't learn. If you don't learn, you don't grow as a person. Stunted.
I want to apologize to ALL the men out there who have to deal with the bs women. As a happily married woman, I can honestly say that you men deserve better. Don't settle for less. I will say that a marriage is a huge commitment, but there are some good women out there, but sadly, we're all a little older. Stay strong and positive, fellas. Please take care of yourself, but don't build too high of a wall, or you may miss that one person that will be everything you want, need, and deserve. Bless you ALL!
That is one of the nicest comments on TH-cam (all of it), I've seen in a while, thank you for sticking up for us older good women out here, bless you fellas while you find your person, my hope for you is that you don't shut down & shut out the (very few & far between) beautiful woman out there waiting for you 🫂🙏✌️
@raynaysride Thank you so kindly. I have to say that your comment is beautiful. I honestly pray that the situation for men gets better. We all deserve to know and feel true unconditional love. I truly appreciate your kindness. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🥰🌲
Number 5 is the kiss of death. But frankly, as much as my ex constantly said "sorry" she was incapable of an actual apology. The rare " I'm sorry" (The use of the word "I'm" being the pertinant distinction here.)was always followed by "but..." And that BUT negates any pretense of remorse.
This was my marriage in a nutshell aside from #1 - when I would communicate about a problem her response was always "How can you feel that way when YOU make me feel like THIS?!?"
Fellas, if you're sharp, you'll notice these red flag VERY early on and jump ship before there's too much unneeded drama. Protect your peace, guys! A good woman will add to it, not deplete it. .
Half a dozen cans short of a 6 pack huh? Ur Not Robinson Crusoe, most of us fall for it for a while. I found the big hint was when the relatioñship starts feeling frustrating, the instincts are to step up your game & work harder at it. Instead one should start analysing WHY it's frustrating & asking yourself whether you're being played. A relationship shouldn't be frustrating or stressful in itself. If it is you're doing it wrong. Had to learn this the hard way tho.
She was mad at me cause she didn't think I was really sorry when I apologized. Then I asked when was the last time she apologized to me for anything. We both couldn't recall a single time. Then she simply said that she didn't think apologies were necessary. As she was literally mad at me for not apologizing hard enough. I knew that night it was over. I'm not perfect, but I need a woman who knows that she isn't either. You give me hope when you say that good women will own their mistakes.
This reminds me a bit of my fiance and I, but it's a different situation He has anger issues and has been struggling with alcoholism and life stress. He's had to apologize to me for a lot of shit, and we had almost the exact conversation about how I didn't apologize as much as he did (even though it was simply because he did way more wrong things at that point in time, especially while drunk) and he was tired of feeling like the bad guy, it was hindering his progress So I decided to mess up stuff so I could apologize more. I slightly burned his toast here, "forgot" to do my chores now and then, misplaced something here, misspoke there, you get the gist It helped him feel less ashamed for going through a hard time and messing up, and now he's made a shit ton of progress on drinking and anger issues. It's actually insane how much of a toll it puts on someone to always feel like the bad guy, even if it's justified. Can't imagine how infuriating it would be when it isn't even based in reality
@@kaponofryxell4798 Huh, interesting & insightful ta¢tic. A fair test too, some clowns would take advantage of it. He obviously didn't, but started cleaning up his act. Hope things work out. 👍
@@kaponofryxell4798 He has alcohol and anger issues? I'd be careful before you think of building a life with him. While you might be able to fix him, you might not.
My ex-wife never said she was wrong or apologized in 35 years of marriage! Not once! I am so glad to not have that terrible burden anymore and because of her attitude I have no interest in any more relationships. Just plan to be a happy man now!
Much of that sounds just like my wife. We've been together for 15 years come April. She don't want to apologize when she's wrong... EVER!!! So because of that I simply refuse to offer apologies when I'm not the one in the wrong
Went through ALL of this. Ex-wife was unapologetic for the last few years, blamed me for every little thing, I had a feeling over three years ago that nothing I did was ever good enough. Lo and behold, she apparently was silently building resentment for the past TEN effin' years, up to the point where she can't even talk to me without bringing something up that pissed her off in the past. I've been NC with her for the past few months, only communicating via text messages and only when it comes to our kids.
I would advise you to save the text messages between you and your ex-wife indefinitely. You never know when her feelings of resentment will turn to false accusations.
Add demanding without offering anything in return to that list. If she thinks I have to surrender everything I have (and that's the bare minimum), but doesn't have any clue how to add any value to my life, she's a waste of time (and probably oxygen).
All of these except for the last one for me. Sometimes I'm not ok, but I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling on the inside. It's frustrating and I don't want to be disrespectful to him or of anger so I tend to clam up. I'm not doing it to be mean or malicious or toxic. I've been married 17 years to my husband and he's learned to understand me and vice verse. His kindness to be has healed so much of my brokenness.
Most women are allergic to apologies or realizing they had a hand in a relationship ending. I’ve seen it recently with female acquaintances of mine who have recently been in relationships that have ended. This is a general statement, not at any specific woman. That’s why I said “most”, not “all”.
I hate to say it as a woman, but I agree. So many friends came and went who acted the same way about friendships too, they'd freak out if I said something they did bothered me and if I told them about any relationship shit of my own, they'd instantly shit on my boyfriend or ex boyfriend at the time, indiscriminately, and then stare at me blankly when I defended them at all or pointed something out that puts us in equal footing. I have 2 very close girl friends and a few revolving ones and that's it for me 😂
It started as a simple question. I've been paying attention since I wondered, and it has been at least 15 years since I've heard a certain woman apologize for anything. I don't know how long it had been before I started paying attention. The closest she has come to an apology is telling me how I misunderstood what she said or meant. Unfortunately, I am required to periodically interact with her. If it wouldn't cost me a couple of relationships I cherish, I wouldn't interact with her ever again.
lol hit all 5 right on the head there. There are so many more things that should be added to the list though. Added to number 1 she turns the blame on you even though she was the one who did it. Number 6 does not acknowledge the real effort a man puts in. number 7 takes zero accountability for anything that she does wrong.
Strange how I wasn't seeing these for so long. I loved her forever, yet was being beat up mentally for things I didn't do. This last year and a half were the worst.
I had to put up a boundary with my wife since we are separated because all she wanted to do in her communication with was to ask me about things I’m doing wrong. My boundary is that if we are communicating, I will not accept criticism, but only positive feedback. It’s incredibly hurtful when the one love shows no to little appreciation and thinks a grown man doesn’t need that. 😢
Some easy, simple advice from a man who has been through the ringer and never thought they'd find a genuinely respectable wife. Never waste your time on a problem you've tried to address more than twice. Either deal with it or walk away because that will never change. No matter what they say or promise you in the beginning, insist on a pre-nup because you will meet a person you never knew existed that your ex kept hidden for years the moment they realize it's over. Even the kindest woman has a vindictive and spiteful side hidden inside of them. The best advice I was ever given is to not waste any time on someone who needs you to add to their happiness because you will also be to blame for their unhappiness. A peaceful couple adds to each other's existing happiness
I would even recommend going further than insisting "on a pre-nup." I would choose not to marry at all. Getting the state involved in a personal relationship has very few upsides for men, but many downsides.
Thank you for calling these out. Women with this played out mindset need to be held accountable for once. That’s not fair for the man to have to suffer, while you demonize him to the globe. 💯
I don't feel appreciated by my own wife nor have I gotten anything other than complaints in a long time and i don't feel like I can do anything right any more
Oh yeah, The interrupting game. When you're explaining something important or how you feel & she interrupts with something irrelevant deliberately to derail your thought process. That one used to really wind me up, till I just stopped interacting with her. Then it was all "Why don't you talk to me anymore?" D'oh
@ I dealt with that crap for 10yrs. They love conversation as long as they are doing all the talking and it’s all about them. Boy that will kill a relationship. I think that’s why in a lot of cases they won’t go for counseling since they may have to STFU and listen to what we have to say for a change.
Yea definitely. I'm seldom wrong because I'm always looking at the facts and questioning myself. I'm obsessed with the truth and I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. So for someone to stand there throwing bull💩 in my face and telling me I'm wrong? Not happening.
Talking trash about your exes is almost as damaging to yourself as it is to them. They may be even worse than these things, but you picked them to be your most intimate partner. What does that say about you?
@@MrErzberg you forget no one dates people who are like that in the very beginning. It creeps in over time, appreciation diminishes more and more and you'll feel unhappy yet reluctant to leave because you still remember better times, fall victim to sunk cost fallacy and so on. Happened to me. Girl was awesome in the beginning - until she wasn't. Talking trash about my ex is just not protecting her with rose tinted glasses, which I kept on for too long, that I do own up to.
@romanspies9248 If conditions change in the relationship, you can change too and address it, and set healthy boundaries with your partner. And you should. or you should find someone else. Either way, staying in a bad relationship is every bit as much your fault as it is the fault of the person you are with.
@ yeah. Unfortunately, that lesson has to be earned with blood and tears. That's not something which is taught by anyone but life, especially when your life is full of hardships anyway. Staying in bad relationships is on you too, yes, but you can't compare the abusive partner to the non abusive one.
@romanspies9248 I honestly think parents play a big role in teaching this sort of thing to their children. Without good parents a multi-generational community would also help. Like a church. Any place where you can accept the good advice of someone older and wiser than you to speak into your life when things get off track in a way you may not even realize going through it.
Haven’t heard an apology or felt appreciated in years.
I was apologized the first time in 10 years by a girl. And she used chatGPT to do it😅
I was like wow. This is an incredible amount of self-reflection that I honestly haven't seen you do before. It was through text. Weirdly enough it lack emotion and pre-faced every apology line with an excuse.
Ex: I'm sorry I'm so independent that I don't include you when I do things with my friends.
I honestly didn't even know how to reply. One for later messages she forgot to take off part of the AI response so it was obvious.
You shoulda walked a week into that. That is on you homie.
Yeah, mine apologized for the first time 16 years into a 20 year marriage. I wasn’t bailing on the kids though. You do you @nukiesduke6868
You two should date each other and then you can apologize to each other and make each other feel better.
@@nukiesduke6868you’re part of the problem. Women need to self reflect, change and grow, too.
#6 - When she tries to make HIM feel bad for expressing his feelings.
My biggest red flag is when I express something I'm upset about, and she manipulates ME into apologizing for upsetting HER by expressing my feelings.
Never again
Those twisty emotional logic games are frustrating.
I know that feeling bro
You should never apologize for sharing your feelings, but there is an automatic response of when you feel sad, I’ll feel sad. But in a lot of cases you can tell that without him even saying anything. Your partner definitely does affect your feelings but that is why you try your best to make them happy! When he’s in a good mood, your in a good mood too 😁😅
💯%
WOW THIS HIT HARD FOR ME
There is a second part to #5. She'll get pissed off because you don't know why she's pissed off. Apparently you are suppose to be a mind reader.
And if you do read her mind you are wrong
@@jamesschuchardt9509 That's a "given"! As men, we are ALWAYS wrong!
narcissistic sociopaths Google traits these traits will help you spot these peoples EARLY in the relationship before the love bombing stops , men must be able to SPOT these traits before marriage
Well we should not accept it but sometimes we do.
She might be pms mode 😢😅
Yeah, I broke up with a girl who during a serious discussion, claimed that I didn't understand. I asked her to explain where I didn't understand but she kept quiet. After 2 minutes I told her it was over due to her lack of communication. It's not my type of relationship. She was shocked. Best decision I made in that relationship.
Thank you for doing your part to teach these babies the right lessons. The more guys that do that, the more the trash will stop rising to the top.
Well done!
I of course don't know the details, but sometimes people have trouble explaining themselves in heated situations about sensitive, complicated or emotional issues.
@FalcoSorreo True. She was playing games. A few days before the discussion, she had sent me a barrage of text messages while i was at work, and she was on leave, which didn't make sense. So before we met that evening, I made my mind up that it was over. However, I wanted her to explain her behavior before breaking up with her. When she didn't, I used her poor communication skills as an immediate reason to break it off on the spot.
I'll never understand how a person can tell you that "You just don't understand" but then refuse to elaborate on that specific part.
Men no longer are accepting emotional abuse that would land a parent in jail.
This was LONG ago. Like 15 years but the first big red flag I just said no to was
I was in the Army and living a long way from my girlfriend. My grandfather died and I was coming home for the funeral. I told her all about it and how I didn’t have much free time but I wanted to see her.
I came home, funeral, burial, family visits and then the third day I saw her for a few hours that evening. She seemed happy enough but later that night I talked to her on the phone and all I got was the childish short answers and silent treatment.
How are you?
fine
What are you doing?
nothing
What’s wrong?
nothing
This went on for a while and I finally figured out she was mad I didn’t prioritize her over my grandfather’s death.
Once I realized what was going on I flat out told her
“I’m not doing this! I traveled 4 thousand miles for my grandfather’s funeral and you’re pissy that I’m not making you my main priority when we’ve barely dated? It’s over and I’m done!”
She then called me till I blocked her and then she called my sister.
That's so fucked up, I'm sorry you went through that. When my boyfriend's (now fiance's) grandmother passed away, I gave him all the space he needed to grieve and offered to lend an ear, but he was the silent kind of griever. I even got him and his family takeout from their favorite spot and just dropped it off, didn't even stay much longer than a quick hi and sorry for your loss since I wasn't that close to the family yet. It never occurred to me that someone could make it about them 😕
Women have been tearing men down for decades. More often than not its women who are emotionally insecure and selfish. Glad you didnt get stuck in a horrible situation.
@@kaponofryxell4798your behavior for your boyfriend is very rare. Few females behave the way you did. You sound like a rare good woman.
Hmm, don't you think that after what you told her she understood and that you didn't neglect, or ignore her on purpose? Sometimes there are misunderstandings.
@@someone3187 Just the silent, mind reading game is enough really. But to hold it in till he's flown back to where he was, THEN play the game? Nuh Uhh. That's a variation of always putting the man in the wrong.
I read about female apologies. I forget the title of the book, but it was in the fiction section.
🤣👍
🤣🤣🤣
That was good!
Keeping and using it.
hihi
It's next to Feminism books.
A lot of people have a hard time with apologies from what I understand. I've had multiple people, both men and women surprised when I apologized for when I did something wrong. I don't know why a sincere apology is so hard for some people? I've done something wrong and have been made aware of it or realize that I did I have to apologize to that person or I won't be able to sleep at night. I have to do it first thing. The reluctance or refusal to apologize is not just a female trait, this is a human being trait it seems. I've seen men just as bad at it as women. I can't comprehend it because to me it's so easy to say I'm sorry if I've done something wrong.
If she cant apologize, RUN! You will probably end up avoiding 70-80% of women. Dont accept her blame just to keep the peace.
no no no!submit to the will of all womanhood and just go along with it,no matter what they say or do.just accept it asap.women are for life,men are only for Christmas day and boxing day,then they're just no use to man nor beast!the next time that your girlfriend gives you an order or a command,the only words coming out of your mouth are"jabol mein fury-owss!"
The mistake a lot of guys make is when they apologize (even if they don't need to), they think it's just a one-off and she'll understand & continue to respect you (or respect you even more...ha !). The exact opposite happens. Slowly, it becomes a repeated pattern and things deteriorate..
70-80? I think it's more like 99.9
Biggest red flag for me is the disrespect that so many men just let their partner do to them
Here is another thing if she wants feedback and reach the next level and rather than accept it, and wont change and somehow rather than change all these excuses will come out. She has no intention to change.
The man will no longer share stuff with her. Why because she wants the guy to change, but she wont change.
Those dudes became conditioned to take it with the "happy wife, happy life" bs.
@@greghelstrom6751 There is also a big difference between wanting to 'change' someone, or working on something. I dated a girl for a while, and she SUCKED at communicating her feelings. I realized, near the end... my bloody own mother was the exact same. I felt at ease with it, but since she was a generation younger than my mother... she lacked the 30 years of experience my mom did have. I always felt like she was the perfect match to me, but our communication issues because such a big deal it put a crack in my love for her, because my patience was running thinner and thinner.
It was, in the end, always about her and her feelings. My needs and emotions always came second, often even third.
Days of ignoring me, or barely responding. She wasn't emotionally mature enough. And by stories of her mom. Her mom was struggling with the same issues. I basically calculated my odds of us working this out within a reasonable timeframe (5 years or so), but the other issues we had made it worse. After we planned our trip together, she even tried to break up when I was at the gate, tried another time 1,5 hours after meeting up.
She did say sorry, but never took accountability. She was just deeply sorry for dragging me along with her rollercoaster of feelings. Spend hundreds of euro's on a trip (which she did pay back) only to realize she was using me to get laid. But the stress she surrounded our meetup with... I couldn't even get properly aroused around her. It was the loneliest weekend I ever experienced. Alone in another country, with someone that in total spend a day worth of time with me, instead of a half a week vacation together. Hours late, having to leave early.
And after I wanted to talk about it when I came back. She shut down once again. She wanted to stay friends, but couldn't even be bothered to respond to simple texts at some point.
Avoidant attachment in a nutshell. I learned the hard way.
Nah communication that's the first flag that always shows up the moment a partner says "whatever" to me in an argument I call shit off cause that's the beginning of the breakdown and I'm not sticking around to see the whole mountain collapse on me
Why do men put up with disrespect? Let them go screw up someone else’s life
Look at her...still sliding her way into our lives....and hearts. Love this lady!
She must be Protected at all costs! 😁
Sara Eaton... she's good too
My ex-fiance would never apologize for anything. When I was diagnosed with cancer, our summer plans had to change, and she wanted an apology for it & expected me to "make it up to her." We were no longer a couple soon after that.
Man I'm so sorry bout that....that is totally ffff up
And to this day she calls him the narcissist 😂
That was probably the best part of cancer, if there is such a thing.
An old statement people used to make & you could have used to her..." Well excuse me for LIVING !!!" 😢😅
Psychologists will tell you cancer can be a mental and emotional issue just as much as the physical environmental cause. Let go of stress and resentment.
Did you get rid of the cancer and break up with it?
I had a now ex-fiancée who came in acting all pissy about something, so I asked her what was wrong. Her response was "NOTHING!" in a rather hateful tone and then sat and glared at me. After a couple tries and not getting any kind of useful response, I had it (this sort of stuff had gone on for some time, so this wasn't the only incident). I refused to do the "20 questions" game with her, and since this was the proverbial last straw, I ended it.
(Edit: Some people prefer the gender neutral "fiancé", which is what I generally use. However, just to avoid any confusion, I've added the extra "e" so it's "fiancée" -- "engaged woman". I'm not a French speaker.)
Yea! You can still think!
Wise decision as you dodged a missile.
Bravo ! Just out of curiosity, did she change her attitude & try to get you back when you called her on her BS ?
@@dciccantelli Nope.
@@dciccantelli Nope.
6# Tries to gaslight you to ignore your boundaries and gets pissed when you stand your ground
Standing your ground can be a tough one. You have to draw the line in the sand clearly on what you expect or are willing to tolerate 🤞 if your expectations are clear, there is no reason to get pissy 🫡
@HondaTurboToys the 25+ narasstic romance scammers in the past 6 years tried to gaslight me to ignore my boundaries. I don't know how I keep attracting them but they keep coming
If they're constantly testing the boundaries in a combative way leave . BEFORE you get exhausted at the BS & give in. That really su×, trust me. It Just. Gets. So. Much. Worse.
Yep. And the thing to remember about setting boundaries is that you have to always be prepared to walk away in order to enforce them. She's likely going to push back when you call her out.
@dciccantelli uh yeah 💯 true. And then tries to tell u that u were brainwashed to be thinking this way
Saying "I'm sorry" about everything doesn't mean a thing if you don't change your behavior.
Saying she's sorry BUT. It's my fault she's wrong 😂😂
Bojack horseman
Exactly..I'm tired of it..fuck this planet
"I'm sorry but you MADE me cheat...."
I grew up with these women. My mother did apologize to me, once. And she has WAAAY more than one apology to make. She died when I was in my thirties. I remember being shocked. I can't recall my sister ever doing it, rarely as it was, in a way that doesn't get her completely off the hook. This is why, even though my biological urges were in full effect, I was always second guessing myself when approaching women, the fear of rejection wasn't as bad as the fear of getting emotional attached to someone who behaves in this manner. I was shocked when my Ex-girlfriend apologized to me, and my wife does this routinely, and I have seen her sister do this too. They do exist. You need to move away from women who grew up with similar households you grew up with, and, if needed to a different place altogether.
Thank God you women won. You beat me at everything in my past.
Now, at 59, I want for nothing. I own everything in my sight, no bills, everything including my home is paid for, all my vehicles, paid for. I have an absurd pension, and if I still was in the “learning phase” I’d risk losing everything, and for what… Some bu llshit illusion of “love.”
Thank you all for treating me like I was poison for most of my life for trying to be a good man.
I learned.
You seem to address all women like some cancer instead of considering that it's just the women in your past. I don't take responsibility for them as a woman, I'd say sorry anyway but it seems like you're better off so I don't know why you're so bitter 😅
I went through the same. She's gone and guess what? The money keeps rolling in. Thanks for leaving!
Great summary and I'm happy for you. I salute your clarity of mind and ability to rationally reflect on it. King!
You sound like me. Retired on a healthy pension and 401k and the happiest I've ever been
For decades when any woman (or sometimes men) try’s giving me silent treatment I will say “ooo the silent treatment that great won’t work on me because that’s what I want so thank you” almost instantly the woman will start talking when I let her know or remind her that won’t work on me. I also refer (out loud) back to my college years all the psychology classes and counseling classes I took in addition to what was required and remind her “you forget who your dealing with the little manipulative tricks don’t work on me because I recognize them for what they are”. My wife (second) have been together almost 20 years now she does not do any of that because she knows I won’t tolerate it instead where there is a problem she asks if we can talk to which I agree (with us the words “can we talk” does not bother either one because it’s what keeps us strong) and we talk out whatever the issue(s) is or are. Communication is always the answer for us!
I should have actually added to this when I say to someone “ooo the silent treatment that’s great won’t work on me because that’s what I want….” I actually mean that because instead of hearing the person complain I’d rather have silence
Yes!
My thing has always been: "I'm a psychologist - not a mind-reader!"
My wife and I have been married almost 15 years. She talks to me about how she feels. She apologizes when she makes mistakes. We enjoy each other’s company because we’ve worked through our problems with each other. We don’t really even use words the same, so we have misunderstood each other a lot over the years-but we have always put in the effort to overcome them. It has definitely made our relationship strong. We also both live by the same principles, and live a God-centered life. I think without that in common, we would be struggling a whole lot more.
My ex said to me after I finished a nightshift, "we need to talk" I said okay, her next sentence was "I want you out"..
When I went to get my stuff she had another man in the house, time span: 2 days.
All five red flags apply to my wife. That's why I told her I want a divorce.
Same, only do much a man should be willing to take.
I don't disagree with you but have you ever thought of why she became your wife to begin with? I'm asking you as a divorced man myself and I know that my own inadequacies led to a marriage that should never have happened to begin with.
@@dirtyace1668he didn’t know her as well as he knows her now.
@dirtyace1668
Because...
Unfortunately, females are still seen as the prize, when it comes to LTR's or Marriage.
Until Men no longer swallow that fallacy and wake up to realize, that Men are the Prize, when it comes to relationships...
Lots and lots of Men, will continue to fall for one of the biggest lies, that Men have been brainwashed with:
"Happy wife, happy life."
girlfriends and wives, MUST aid and assist Men, to make their hard lives easier, better, NOT to become something more to carry on their shoulders.
@@dirtyace1668because these women can be chameleons / change over time
Thanks Emily. I have been dealing with exactly these 5 things from my wife of 15 years. I was too young to see them initially. Keep shedding light on this for the young guys so they can choose carefully!
It’s not the silent treatment. It’s gaslighting.
Gaslighting is altering someone's entire reality perceptions, not the silent treatment
@@hearmeout1767 true! I feel tht silent treatment is a form of domination and control though
@@hearmeout1767 Uhm. You might want to maybe rethink that one. Give it some thought. Stay real.
This short is the most truthful thing on TH-cam!
Those 3 words.....Fun, affectionate and loving. That's all us men want!👍
Ex did all this. Closest I ever got to an apology was after she banged on and screamed through the door while on the phone. When i finally opened it, and i explained i was talking to someone from our church, she blamed me with, "great, now I'm the @-hole" - the closest thing i ever got to an apology in a decade.
She tells everyone im a narcissist, but I was able to give her one more thing she wanted- a divorce (she filed.)
Did she get alimony? Most of the time the woman gets awarded the alimony, and it's all thanks to no fault divorce. If we had fault divorce, this would probably cut down on some of the divorces women initiate, although then these women would probably set up a trap and say you can bang anyone you want this one time or whatever else, then when you do it, she'll scream fault then file for divorce. Men marry for love, women marry for a lifestyle and financial gain.
The word narcisist has lost all it's meaning at this point
This woman nailed it!🔥💞🤟🏻👏🏻👏🏻
A serious character flaw, she’s not able to admit she’s wrong, these Women are very Insecure….Avoid like the Plaque.
That's most women, unfortunately.
Hey! Stop describing my last relationship! 😎😎😎 (also you are absolutely correct - and I don’t care how attractive a woman is - I am NEVER putting up with that catalog of red flags EVER again!)
I'm not a subtle person. I made clear to my girl that if I should know something, SAY IT. No games. If you say you're okay or nothing is wrong, I drop it and move along. No longer together, as she couldn't do that.
MANY, MANY people, both men AND women, don't get "subtle". Explaining it, as you did, should be enough. But idiots gonna idiot, I guess. Glad you got out!
Accountability and the strong modem independent women, never seen in the same person.
Amen
And this is why I am completely content with staying single for a while as I get my life in order. Falling in love with someone who rips your heart out and steps on it is beyond enough of a reason to stop taking these women serious.
This is exactly why I divorced my wife, anytime I tried bringing up an issue I was always told that she felt attacked and it was always turned back on me no matter what the issue and I always ended up apologizing. She never took accountability for anything in the relationship. We married in 2012, the marriage was pretty much over in 2018 because of this issue, and she also pulled away from all the little emotional things and the little things, but I kept doing all the little emotional things and little things. I stayed in the marriage from 2018 to 2023 just for my daughter until it got bad and had to call an end to it I could not take any more emotional abuse that was sly and always designed for me to fail.
Yeah, my ex pulled that kind of crap too. I couldn’t “correct” her on even an objective fact matter without her saying she “feels” “attacked” and all that nonsense. I’d pick my battles extremely carefully and word it as diplomatically as possible too. Plus all the other garbage.
Now she’s out riding the CC and hitting the box wine. Frankly I’m glad I don’t have to put up with her on the daily anymore. Fragile insecure people that would rather destroy their lives, your lives, the kids lives rather than accepting a bit of accountability are baffling.
Good for you. You tried bro, you did the hard part and didn’t just run. You did all you could and that’s all you are expected to do.
Hey! You must know my ex! Mine ended 2 months before my daughter was born when she told me she resented me. I had lost a job, along with 6 others and was having a difficult tike finding a new one. I too stayed in the marriage for my daughter until 9 years later I finally had enough of her crap and filed.
you not alone, same crap and now im divorced.
My ex perfected the non apology, which goes like this…”well, I am sorry you feel that way.”
Oh the "I'm sorry you feel that way." That's moms favorite go-to and my wife is learning that one too.
Your understanding of men is priceless… your fella has a life’s win with you! Thanx Em!
She's divorced 😂....... The pot calling the kettle black.
@@hurricaneaquatics So she dumped a bad husband??? No problems with that. Not all guys are good guys especially after that baby is born. You find out pretty quickly how quality of a man you have.
As for this video, she is basically describing women who like to "play games". Any man who allows their woman to play games deserves what he gets.
When I was single and dating, if a woman played games, she got ONE warning. If she did it again, she got dumped and it was easy as I didn't allow any women to live with me until I found "my wife" and I realized she was the one I wanted to live with and wake up next to every day. So far 29 years and running with very few problems since I picked a woman who has the same morals, values, and beliefs that I do.
@@thomasjoseph5876 well Thomas, if that's true, you got lucky. Now as much as you like to pat yourself on the back with your choosing skills of women, there are many who can trick the pants off the most astute man and play that game until they're married, pregnant, or both. Then, you get to see you married the devil. No, I don't blame her for making these videos and I don't know her situation. I just know a lot of these people aren't qualified to make these videos and just don't for money. To each their own. Happy for you that you chose well in your marriage and you're hapoy.
She's the lucky one!
A guy accepted her as his woman, a woman with children from another Man!
Unless he's a SIMP...
She had to learn, how Men tic, so she can keep this High Value Man.
At least...
She did put in the effort, to be a better woman for this Man, which the immense majority of females, never do.
@@thomasjoseph5876
Do you know if he was a bad Husband?
Or...
Just assuming and SIMPING!
Instead of silent treatment: Hostility, combative, takes everything personally, doubles down on everything rather than take any accountability. Just general immaturity.
I'm very glad I found you channel. Looking back at my ex, your putting all my problems with the relationship into words
I know, right? She just described my ex.
@@DeadRed11 And my wife.
That first one hit me. I do not understand that. If my feelings were hurt, i have to apologize... How dare i suggest that you are not always right. Its easier to come to an understanding with yourself that not showing your emotions is easier, and a lot less painful. People wonder why men don't show feelings. What's worse, being sad because your sad or being sad because your partner doesn't take it seriously?
True! In 20 years of marriage I can count on one hand the number of times my wife ever apologized..
Fairly sure that you had four fingers left free...
High Body Count
Gaslighting
Projection
Minimal Effort
Immaturity
Any one of those 5 and it’s bye bye
My ex had all 5 lol
'A relationship that is fun, affectionate and loving', you nailed it Emily! Something I've never had despite two marriages, hope to experience one day❣️😮😊❤
Ugh. That was my x-wife... "Nothing / I'm fine". I had to finally just drag it out of her towards the end because it was too obvious, and it ended up being the dumbest, jealousy crap. Literally the chick at the drive through was looking at me wrong and I didn't notice, or I wasn't "jealous enough" when somebody said something to her while we're out - completely idiotic, junior high level crap. Very sweet person that talked way too much with the local gossip girls and ended up twisting her head around to the point of self destruction. Sad, but I'm glad we moved on.
Oh yeah, the so called 'friends' she talks out of school to. They're marriage killers.
So true Emily, well put.
This is 100% correct! I haven’t felt appreciated in a long time.
The best advice I ever received in my life, to which I didn't listen, came from the officiant at my wedding after a few counselling sessions was, "Grab your hat and run, son."
EM!! You rock!!!💜💜
Wow!! This is so representative about my first marriage. In 24 years of marriage she NEVER once said she was sorry to me, nor did she ever admit that she was wrong about anything.
She just explained the past 18 years of my life 🥺😢😭
There are so few other females, who don't act like the ones you describe, that men don't have much choice. This all the ads for foreign girls.
You are so right. Thank you for speaking up 👍👍👍
That last one got me
I sincerely have to thank you Emily. Thanks to all your videos like this one I realize how many other men have shared in my experiences, I'm not as alone as I thought I was! Helps my understanding and self respect! 😊❤
My ex-wife always stated she did NOT believe in apologies - either offered or received because that would just mean the bad behavior was ok. None of my heartfelt apologies were ever accepted and, of course, that “a” word NEVER crossed her tongue in our 23 years of marriage. When I finally had enough and filled for divorce, she was so shocked and hurt she had a nervous breakdown.
I don't know if u are an alien or what, but is the first time in life that i hear a girl speaking like that about men's. I'm been insulted, hurted, depressed and a way long other things by girl, without explanation or nothing. Still fighting to stand up again, but as u said in other video's, probably i don't want to meet another girl for long time.. thank u for the nice words, for the understanding, for make us feeling humans and not always wrong.. hope in my life, that one day i will met someone like u.
Maybe a man would treat you better.
Facts!! The worst one I've gotten is "I'm sorry you feel that way." What?! You made me feel this way...
You need accountability to receive a genuine apology for wrong doing.
Accountability causes an ego insult for falling short of one’s personal beliefs of themselves which brings shame.
If she has no accountability, she won’t apologize because she then feels shame.
You can’t have a conversation and argue or otherwise convince a person to be accountable for their actions thoughts and emotions if they didn’t learn this principle before coming into your life. You have to move on from them.
I dunno, I take accountability and apologize and I almost never feel shame. I feel like having an ego is what causes shame, which is already a red flag
@kaponofryxell4798 Everyone has an ego. Some have an overblown arrogant or very insecure & defensive ego, thats where the problems lie. A strong ego, a strong sense of self respect & pride (Whilst under good regulation lol) is fine. It helps us thrive.
@@shieldwolf65 Agreed, I just used ego in the way that it's commonly used, meaning an inflated ego
@@kaponofryxell4798You literally just agreed with OP while trying to disagree lol
@Lefflan Not so. I was adding onto what they said about shame, and we were in agreement. You are looking for problems where there are none
She told me to get over it when my father died because I was sad for too long. It was mostly #4 with her.
People in general who won't acknowledge their wongs and apologize are stunted. These are perpetual know-it-all types. If you know everything (hint:nobody freaking does), you can't learn. If you don't learn, you don't grow as a person. Stunted.
Well said Lady❤
Yes Ma’am 100%. Merry Christmas Happy New Years 🇨🇦❤️
#6 When she *bold* face lies to you and doesn't care that you know she is *bold* face lying to you.
Wow. Check, check, check… sounds so familiar to my marriage that ended
Sounds like the marriage I am no longer in also
No.5 is a big one. Great video as always.
"Good women will recognize when they are wrong" it used to be called : Adults
Fr. It’s not that hard to apologize. It honestly shocks me that all the comments are saying my gender didn’t do that 😅
@@taylor15589My guess is that apologizing is something we learn from our parents. Some children never experienced that and thus never learned.
I want to apologize to ALL the men out there who have to deal with the bs women. As a happily married woman, I can honestly say that you men deserve better. Don't settle for less. I will say that a marriage is a huge commitment, but there are some good women out there, but sadly, we're all a little older. Stay strong and positive, fellas. Please take care of yourself, but don't build too high of a wall, or you may miss that one person that will be everything you want, need, and deserve. Bless you ALL!
That is one of the nicest comments on TH-cam (all of it), I've seen in a while, thank you for sticking up for us older good women out here, bless you fellas while you find your person, my hope for you is that you don't shut down & shut out the (very few & far between) beautiful woman out there waiting for you 🫂🙏✌️
@raynaysride Thank you so kindly. I have to say that your comment is beautiful. I honestly pray that the situation for men gets better. We all deserve to know and feel true unconditional love. I truly appreciate your kindness. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🥰🌲
@DontHateOnMyBreed1975 awwwe, thank you so much for your kindness, Blessed Holidays to you & yours as well 🙏✌️🫂
Thank you! As a man I needed this right now.
Number 5 is the kiss of death. But frankly, as much as my ex constantly said "sorry" she was incapable of an actual apology. The rare " I'm sorry" (The use of the word "I'm" being the pertinant distinction here.)was always followed by "but..." And that BUT negates any pretense of remorse.
Fun, affectionate and loving. Truth
This was my marriage in a nutshell aside from #1 - when I would communicate about a problem her response was always "How can you feel that way when YOU make me feel like THIS?!?"
Don't you love how her feelings are always more valid & important than yours!
Nailed it ! #3 especially ( allergic to apologizes ) fact !!!!
Fellas, if you're sharp, you'll notice these red flag VERY early on and jump ship before there's too much unneeded drama. Protect your peace, guys! A good woman will add to it, not deplete it. .
Sadly, I was about as sharp as a bowling ball.
Half a dozen cans short of a 6 pack huh? Ur Not Robinson Crusoe, most of us fall for it for a while. I found the big hint was when the relatioñship starts feeling frustrating, the instincts are to step up your game & work harder at it. Instead one should start analysing WHY it's frustrating & asking yourself whether you're being played. A relationship shouldn't be frustrating or stressful in itself. If it is you're doing it wrong. Had to learn this the hard way tho.
100% agree!! Greetings & blessings to you. Merry Christmas!! 🙏🏼
She was mad at me cause she didn't think I was really sorry when I apologized. Then I asked when was the last time she apologized to me for anything. We both couldn't recall a single time. Then she simply said that she didn't think apologies were necessary. As she was literally mad at me for not apologizing hard enough. I knew that night it was over.
I'm not perfect, but I need a woman who knows that she isn't either. You give me hope when you say that good women will own their mistakes.
This reminds me a bit of my fiance and I, but it's a different situation
He has anger issues and has been struggling with alcoholism and life stress. He's had to apologize to me for a lot of shit, and we had almost the exact conversation about how I didn't apologize as much as he did (even though it was simply because he did way more wrong things at that point in time, especially while drunk) and he was tired of feeling like the bad guy, it was hindering his progress
So I decided to mess up stuff so I could apologize more. I slightly burned his toast here, "forgot" to do my chores now and then, misplaced something here, misspoke there, you get the gist
It helped him feel less ashamed for going through a hard time and messing up, and now he's made a shit ton of progress on drinking and anger issues. It's actually insane how much of a toll it puts on someone to always feel like the bad guy, even if it's justified. Can't imagine how infuriating it would be when it isn't even based in reality
@@kaponofryxell4798 Huh, interesting & insightful ta¢tic. A fair test too, some clowns would take advantage of it. He obviously didn't, but started cleaning up his act. Hope things work out. 👍
@@kaponofryxell4798 He has alcohol and anger issues? I'd be careful before you think of building a life with him. While you might be able to fix him, you might not.
My ex-wife never said she was wrong or apologized in 35 years of marriage! Not once! I am so glad to not have that terrible burden anymore and because of her attitude I have no interest in any more relationships. Just plan to be a happy man now!
It's like you're calling out my ex wife specifically 😂😂
No apology, this is non-negotiable guys! Run, she is mentally ill to never apologize for wrong doing. Run fast!!!!
Hahaha,you just described my mother,,and most other women
Much of that sounds just like my wife. We've been together for 15 years come April.
She don't want to apologize when she's wrong... EVER!!! So because of that I simply refuse to offer apologies when I'm not the one in the wrong
Went through ALL of this.
Ex-wife was unapologetic for the last few years, blamed me for every little thing, I had a feeling over three years ago that nothing I did was ever good enough. Lo and behold, she apparently was silently building resentment for the past TEN effin' years, up to the point where she can't even talk to me without bringing something up that pissed her off in the past.
I've been NC with her for the past few months, only communicating via text messages and only when it comes to our kids.
I would advise you to save the text messages between you and your ex-wife indefinitely. You never know when her feelings of resentment will turn to false accusations.
@@Eternal_Tech Oh, I have. Which is why I only speak to her via text nowadays - for the "paper trail".
Wow, glad I never got in to any real relationship. The whole time, I never realized I was so wise beyond my years.
Incredible!
Add demanding without offering anything in return to that list. If she thinks I have to surrender everything I have (and that's the bare minimum), but doesn't have any clue how to add any value to my life, she's a waste of time (and probably oxygen).
All of these except for the last one for me. Sometimes I'm not ok, but I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling on the inside. It's frustrating and I don't want to be disrespectful to him or of anger so I tend to clam up. I'm not doing it to be mean or malicious or toxic. I've been married 17 years to my husband and he's learned to understand me and vice verse. His kindness to be has healed so much of my brokenness.
Most women are allergic to apologies or realizing they had a hand in a relationship ending. I’ve seen it recently with female acquaintances of mine who have recently been in relationships that have ended. This is a general statement, not at any specific woman. That’s why I said “most”, not “all”.
I hate to say it as a woman, but I agree. So many friends came and went who acted the same way about friendships too, they'd freak out if I said something they did bothered me and if I told them about any relationship shit of my own, they'd instantly shit on my boyfriend or ex boyfriend at the time, indiscriminately, and then stare at me blankly when I defended them at all or pointed something out that puts us in equal footing. I have 2 very close girl friends and a few revolving ones and that's it for me 😂
This 95% of them and especially in Los Angeles and San Fernando Valley. 💯💯💯
And at this point, I'll walk away from any of them.
Walk right on over to the internet for prn & OF when you should just give another perfect man a chance.
It started as a simple question. I've been paying attention since I wondered, and it has been at least 15 years since I've heard a certain woman apologize for anything. I don't know how long it had been before I started paying attention.
The closest she has come to an apology is telling me how I misunderstood what she said or meant.
Unfortunately, I am required to periodically interact with her. If it wouldn't cost me a couple of relationships I cherish, I wouldn't interact with her ever again.
lol hit all 5 right on the head there. There are so many more things that should be added to the list though. Added to number 1 she turns the blame on you even though she was the one who did it. Number 6 does not acknowledge the real effort a man puts in. number 7 takes zero accountability for anything that she does wrong.
Strange how I wasn't seeing these for so long. I loved her forever, yet was being beat up mentally for things I didn't do. This last year and a half were the worst.
There you go you nailed it again
I had to put up a boundary with my wife since we are separated because all she wanted to do in her communication with was to ask me about things I’m doing wrong. My boundary is that if we are communicating, I will not accept criticism, but only positive feedback. It’s incredibly hurtful when the one love shows no to little appreciation and thinks a grown man doesn’t need that. 😢
The first and only serious relationship I was ever in, I was the one who apologized first.
Point #4 and #5 are when I would just up and leave at that point I wouldn't even let it get that far
Was married more than twenty years. Was wrong multiple times on a daily basis. Never once received an apology from her. Never again!
19 years of marriage, 3 separations, It was a total waste of my life, summed up in these 5 red flags...
Yeah, males are better off dating each other.
Some easy, simple advice from a man who has been through the ringer and never thought they'd find a genuinely respectable wife. Never waste your time on a problem you've tried to address more than twice. Either deal with it or walk away because that will never change. No matter what they say or promise you in the beginning, insist on a pre-nup because you will meet a person you never knew existed that your ex kept hidden for years the moment they realize it's over. Even the kindest woman has a vindictive and spiteful side hidden inside of them. The best advice I was ever given is to not waste any time on someone who needs you to add to their happiness because you will also be to blame for their unhappiness. A peaceful couple adds to each other's existing happiness
I would even recommend going further than insisting "on a pre-nup." I would choose not to marry at all. Getting the state involved in a personal relationship has very few upsides for men, but many downsides.
You are right
Done every single thing is mentioned. Almost lost the best man I ever met cause of that. Still on a path to bettering myself.
That was spot on my last relationship
Thank you for calling these out. Women with this played out mindset need to be held accountable for once. That’s not fair for the man to have to suffer, while you demonize him to the globe. 💯
Thank you for this Emily! I to be the best for my man , so knowing these will make it easier to do that!👍
thank you for teaching me about things j have to look out for
I don't feel appreciated by my own wife nor have I gotten anything other than complaints in a long time and i don't feel like I can do anything right any more
It's a ta¢tic to dominate. Once she manages that she'll have no respect. No respect = no se×, no marriage future. Odds of her cheating just went up.
Amen!! Keep up the honesty! Do not let women haters change what you're saying.
Describes my marriage almost perfectly. And ‘Good’ women? Where would you find one of the dozen or so of them that exist?
Sometimes you say your ok because you need time to process, but it’s definitely important to talk about it sooner than later
That's different from when she's staring at you like you slapped her mother at her fathers funeral after saying she's "fine".
She doesn’t listen or give you the opportunity to discuss your position. Talks over you at every turn. Big Red Flag.
Oh yeah, The interrupting game. When you're explaining something important or how you feel & she interrupts with something irrelevant deliberately to derail your thought process. That one used to really wind me up, till I just stopped interacting with her. Then it was all "Why don't you talk to me anymore?" D'oh
@ I dealt with that crap for 10yrs. They love conversation as long as they are doing all the talking and it’s all about them. Boy that will kill a relationship. I think that’s why in a lot of cases they won’t go for counseling since they may have to STFU and listen to what we have to say for a change.
Yea definitely. I'm seldom wrong because I'm always looking at the facts and questioning myself. I'm obsessed with the truth and I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. So for someone to stand there throwing bull💩 in my face and telling me I'm wrong? Not happening.
How did you meet my ex girlfriend, Emily? She's the epitome of all 5 red flags so you must have taken these traits from her.
Talking trash about your exes is almost as damaging to yourself as it is to them. They may be even worse than these things, but you picked them to be your most intimate partner. What does that say about you?
@@MrErzberg you forget no one dates people who are like that in the very beginning. It creeps in over time, appreciation diminishes more and more and you'll feel unhappy yet reluctant to leave because you still remember better times, fall victim to sunk cost fallacy and so on. Happened to me. Girl was awesome in the beginning - until she wasn't. Talking trash about my ex is just not protecting her with rose tinted glasses, which I kept on for too long, that I do own up to.
@romanspies9248 If conditions change in the relationship, you can change too and address it, and set healthy boundaries with your partner. And you should. or you should find someone else. Either way, staying in a bad relationship is every bit as much your fault as it is the fault of the person you are with.
@ yeah. Unfortunately, that lesson has to be earned with blood and tears. That's not something which is taught by anyone but life, especially when your life is full of hardships anyway. Staying in bad relationships is on you too, yes, but you can't compare the abusive partner to the non abusive one.
@romanspies9248 I honestly think parents play a big role in teaching this sort of thing to their children. Without good parents a multi-generational community would also help. Like a church. Any place where you can accept the good advice of someone older and wiser than you to speak into your life when things get off track in a way you may not even realize going through it.