Steven Seagal bangs Mia Khalifa and fights the Taliban- Sniper Special Ops
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- Big Stevo takes on the evil Taliban, has a 3-way with Joe Biden and Mia Khalifa, saves an injured solider, becomes THE DETONATOR, and joins CSI Miami team. All this is just a standard days work for Big Daddy Sensei Steven Seagal. Seagalism is taking over the globe. Join us my friends. Become a Seagalian
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Segall plays a sniper in every movie because he thinks they never have to actually move
More chair-borne than airborne. More pie-finder than pathfinder. He rocks the "Ali G" look though.
I think the funniest part is the lady with the ar-15 carbine.. In her hands it looks like those old battle rifles from the early 60s.
Steven Seagal is the ultimate gravy seal
Chicken Fried Seal Steak with gravy?
Tex/mex ranger .
5 star meal general
S.A.S Sweaty After Sandwiches
He was on meal team 6
A Gravy Seal who is also a 700lbs black belt in Aikido
He doesn’t need to shoulder the gun, his grip strength is that insane.
Usain Bolt was Usain Wingnut before Seagal taught him how to run.
Seagal's "SIX" is more real estate than any combat vet could be expected to cover.
My rule of thumb is any time professional wrestlers are in a movie, it has to be great
😂😂😂
He runs out of breath half way through every sentence 😂😂
Seafood Seagull waddles his way through this film 🎥 👍🏻🇦🇺
"Oscar winning sitting" That's gold Jerry! Gold!
6:10 According to Wikipedia, "Babs" was in her mid 30's when this movie was filmed, so luckily for her she was to old for his tastes.
It's sad the Academy refuses to recognize the greatness of the True Master Seagal.
They have no eye for talent. Only true intellectuals and geniuses such as us recognise the complex qualities of Papa Seagal's acting and mumbling.
@@senseiseagal1983 It’s okay, we know Sifu is above material positions and human respect.
@@attiasprouse682 that's funny 🤣, he is waaaay above human respect.
@@attiasprouse682 dude, Seagal needs to do something or his fan base, which has almost depleted, will be completely gone!!
How does this tool actually get financed for all these gems
Sitting down and acting requires skill... A skill Seagal has mastered.
Said by Seagull himself
"I try not to act", conclusion ,
He's a natural 😔🙌😉😂🍗
Hahaha that's good!!
thats why they call him sencai the master
Seatgal
Judging by his weight, he's got a lot of experience in sitting, due to being fluffy and needing to spend more time on the toilet as a result of his generous love handles.
I now have an even greater respect for Steven he makes awesome comedies.
Hope he learns from other people who have the same or similar names to him. Stephen Chow and Steven He are two great names I can mention.
That ending line sounded much cooler in his head. Of course for him it was the coolest thing he's ever said. 😂😂😂
He made up that line in 1933
@hankstrickland5011 Oh yes. His time traveling powers. I am well aware of those, but I did not know he wrote the line so early. Most people would call a man insane for relying on an almost hundred year old text written by themselves. That's why he's our sensei.
@hankstrickland5011 actually he scribed it in cuneiform text on clay tablets over 10,000 years ago in ancient Samaria when he was a high Sumerian Immortal god king.
The fundamentalist Muslim drinking alcohol…
It is Seagal universe.
@@namesurname5613 ...every guy in Afghanistan would be in local strip belly dance club or drinking khamr in this universe.
😂
💀💀💀
It has to be Halal Booze
The mix of Segal and pres Biden made this an epic masterpiece
You are very observant! Two exemplary humans in one movie. And no Oscar. What the??
@@senseiseagal1983 I just stumbled across the channel. Your sense of humor makes me lmao. Look forward to future content bro
Thanks Loyalty. Appreciate the love my friend 🙏
@@loyaltyisroyalty5616 you bet this is some of the best content on the tube
Wow all that time I was in an elite special forces unit and I never learned how to shoot without looking. I wish they’d have taught us the “pulling security by aiming a pistol blindly at the door while operating the radio” technique. Lol! Seagal is truly a master!!!
Did they also teach you the over the shoulder firing technique? I’m assuming that where the weighty one learned this skill. Real SF don’t need to bang the butt into their shoulder to control their firing.
Seagal the master actor! When there are terrorists we send him to get the job done. Thank you Sensei! Sensei is the NEGOTIATOR!
What a minute! I thought he was The Detonator™️. I'm so confused.
Good movie review. Honestly I only clicked because of Mia Khalifa but I can't leave without appreciating the level of hard work and intelligence put in by the reviewer. When did Seagal gave you the training? Hahaaha thanks for the entertainment.
I honestly never understood the appeal of her. She just looked basic, did people have a glasses fetush or something when it came to her (literally lol).
@@InVinoVeratasit’s the hijab and the fact that she looks middle eastern enough.
You missed her because when the director told Seagal to eat her out….he did.
Never been a hot woman, but I have been a reporter and can confirm that trained warriors in combat always wither at the sight of your press badge.
…..to the blood bank.
….I love some cookies.
We need a Seagal movie about special ops training. I'd like to see him do that sitting down
He has been living in & out of New Orleans for over 30 years that was him trying to sound like us 😂
You ok, man? Greetings from San Antonio.
The wildest Blaroken commercial ever!!
If I'm ever caught up in a situation where evil terrorists are holding me captive, Just hope it's Steven seagull who gets the call to save my ass
Make sure they send out the Fat Signal into the sky.. He will respond
@@senseiseagal1983 Or tell him there is a free all you eat buffet in the location of the kidnapping.
Funny considering the fact that he supports terrorist Russia and is a Putin fanboy :)
Only Seagal gets throug days of toff combat fresh, clean and still, full of ammunitions. Seagal doesn't waste bullets shooting everywhere. He only shoots one and everybody dies. His wisdom know's that patience will bring the occasion to shoot. Steven's quote :
~ Patience always pay's... for you have to wait the moment when all enemy's line up one behind another before taking the shot!!... Reflex and angle are the keys!! ~... WoW👍
I'm pissed on wine next to a fucking old church in Vienna and very much enjoying your compilations of our lord and saviour. I've shared links to your good work to a few of my business associates but the heathens haven't yet replied - it's been 2 hours.
Love the time crisis reference! I remember playing that game in the lobby of movie theaters. Though I could never beat the master of mass, the sultan of sit, the chief of chairs Steven “gravy train” seagal. Legends say he got the high score on time crisis while sitting in a chair eating a sub and shooting the pistol upside down without looking!
Excellent video, great editing, hilarious commentary 🏆
This one is my favorite, so far
Thank you Sensai!
Thanks Slick 🙏💪
The moment Segal was mentioned......I laughed.
I guess this is how he is paying all the mobsters he stiffed.
Well done! Without a doubt the best movie review ever 😆
Thank you kindly my friend. Still learning but Seagal's movies make it enjoyable. Because they are so horrible
Your word tapestry of praise for Sausage Fingers Supremo ranks right up there with other great works of art, like the Sistine Chapel and the Mona Lisa. Bravo! Bravisimo!
You're too kind. I only hope that one day Big Papa will be appreciated as much
These are the highlights, up for a nomination 😉
Emotional damage 😫😭
Word has it that after the movie was filmed, he at Mia for dinner, basting her in a liver paté.
Long live Seagal. Great stuff guys and all the best.
Thanks John. You too mate 👍🙏
@@senseiseagal1983 You too mate.
The way "Babs" held that Beretta let me know right away that she was a seasoned pro when it comes to firearms.
I learned how to fight watching Steven Segal movies.
So... You push people a lot, often while sitting down?
The way he looks through that 1x red dot sight , sitting at a table , through a window whioe just holding the foregrip , says hes a weapons expert!
'We're introduced to Joe Biden'
Bruh😂😂😂
Lol yeah they're a perfect team
@e_z_livn They both work for Putin...so...yeah.
Aaah, the one where he just sits on his ass for 98% of the movie 😂🤣
2:23 “no thanks. I’m trying to quit.” Nearly killed me saying it.
This is the best channel on TH-cam. I like Sensei talking like an African American. What a Giga Chad!
This child will be the future king of earth. I can wait for his reign to start. Long may he reign.
The Antichrist? X_x
02:00 Mmmm, look that masterful trigger finger placement. Thing of beauty.
The man teaches Special Forces. Did you expect anything other than perfect from Big Daddy?
That was hilarious! Legit 1 of the best movie reviews/criticisms I've ever seen the narration was fantastic! Great Work!!
Thanks Axeman
The ironic thing about the sleeveless guy who gets shot in the open is that he’s actually a former special forces soldier in real life. 😂
After hammering your videos over the last few days, the editing is so on point, it’s hilarious it makes it even funnier😂😂😂😂👏👏👏
Ripping on the dumpduck never,ever, gets old.
I should re-watch this movie, i didn't know Mia Khalifa & Joe Biden in it too
In the not-too-distant future, Seagal will be doing his scenes exclusively from a hospital-style bed (as previewed in Hard to Kill, except *every, single* scene, a much more... *accommodating* bed and much *less* movement -- likely played by one of his stuntmen).
Although, he should really be filmed on a psychiatrist's couch 🛋, in a *reality show* sense, ASAP...
Here's some titles,
ENPHYSEMA, A way of life,
Slayed by the buffet,
'Bout time to die, The fast & the furious sedentary
😔🙌😉😂🍗👏
😂😂yeeess!☮️🌏
Yet another straight to the 5$ Wallmart DVD bin masterpiece. 😂
Stevie had me at the sunglasses & sniper 'scope.
Your channel is criminally underrated very funny content, i liked and subbed now im binging.
Thank you kindly my friend. And welcome aboard 🙏🤘
Dennis Rourke is that you
I’m kinda surprised to see Dale Dye in this POS film. Dale Dye is a legend first appearing in Platoon in 1986. He is a legit Colonel (Ret.) and was in many films. They must have paid him millions to do this train wreck.
Amazing how seagal holds the gun.. and amazingly no recoil.. sloppy, is the only word that comes to mind! He needs to hold the gun like he does a fork.. tight.. lmao
How'd they hide his oxygen tanks and hover round?
Someone needs to count how much time steven seagal is seated In each movie,maybe we have a guiness record
here.All praise to our big dog stevie.
Oh great!!!
Thanks again for protection and heart ,all these years ! Master Seagal. You're a 👍 great. American. Aloha
Steven Seagull watched Blackhawk Down and figured out how to adapt that story to his own acting style.
I didn’t think they made armor plates that big. 4x for sensei
This commentary was so good!
Wow, it is not easy to match Seagals movie skills with youtube video, but you managed. I came here for Mia, instead i recieved mumbling, thrill and skill. Is it you Sensei?
Imagine being an “action hero” and the 85yo in your movie has more scenes standing than you do.
This film should be called sniper sitting ops.
Thanks mate 🙏💪
It doesn't help that "Joe Biden" in this film is actually Dale Dyer. Military consultant on many films & veteran of the Vietnam war!
Marksperson, get with the times yo!! 😝 Being lethal with a pistol at 200 meters is easy. You just have to be in a movie. 😁😁
The detonator 😅😅
What?! 😂😂😂 Is that actually rob van dam???
You bet your a*s it is Ninja 🤘
So what was "the greatest line ever uttered by a hero?". I couldn't hear it.
Not to mention the injured soldier is trying to catch his breath as he talks. LMFAO 😂😆
Nothing says realism like an elite sniper being played by a 60 plus year old man who weighs 400lbs :D
I like how he's not set the stock to his arm length he''s just picked max length lol.
Sniper special ops is ABSOLUTELY Garbage and completely thrash
Starring a bloated Glazed ham with painted on hair and goatee who uses
Too much stunt doubles because he is so lazy and spends rest of the film sitting down
Steven Seagull is the king of Bacon triple cheeseburgers, buffets and bullshido
Wow!! U sound hungry???
Ok, you up there with Space Ice. Can we get some Neil Breen movie reviews? Subbed!
Holy F@ck, I got chills from that closing line, he is a god.
If Vic and his partner had any sense, they'd have kept shooting, and just counted her as a casualty of war.
1. She was a stowaway, and wasn't even supposed to be there.
2. She jump directly in between the firefight.
And the Oscar for "Best sitting Actor" goes to...
The Chair ! Congratulations for being snatched out of one more MF'n Birthday
How can anyone buy an attractive women being into Seagals character, that in itself is fantasy
Segal has that big fat boy little rifle transition going on
3:32 because the director and those who write the checks told them to.
Once in awhile.... he stands up.
You are hilarious dude, love the montage))) Would love to call him out, I also am not young a spring anymore but would love to go some rounds with him
Thanks Marco. I appreciate the love my friend 🙏🤘
This editing is God-tier #chefskiss
I appreciate that mate but that was actually an older video of mine. I'd like to think the editing has improved since then. Thank you kindly.
I can’t believe piss pants Biden was in this movie. Epic.
If you did a supercut of shots of the Master sitting down I think it could cause every other actor in the world to give up.
I would love to see such a supercut. Please!
Thank you! Just found ur channel. Sooo funny.😂😂☮️🌏ps, promise I will buy 1 of your t-shirts when I’ve the funds.😅
Thanks Evie and welcome aboard! I appreciate the support 🙏 you don't have to buy a shirt.
A like and Subscribe is plenty if that's all one can do. It helps tremendously. 🤘💪
@@senseiseagal1983 just feel like I need the t-shirt with sensei with seagull body on it! Great image, Sensei Birdbrain 😆!. Plus the footage of Sensei ‘dancing’🤣, wrists flapping, I’m literally lol, on the floor 🤣😂. Cheers 🥂☮️🌏
I think we can all agree he glides with the grace of a majestic bird... A Seagull is the best he deserves 😂😂
My favorite part was when Poochie goes back to his home planet
1:33 - Ufff, putting my man - Denzel (from “Training Day” I guess?), in the same vid as this “actor” Steven the Seagal is quite an insult
This video is pure genius 🤣
Thank you sir 🙏🤘
10:23 Two of my favorite things
This is too much stop it, your script is better than the movie, you need to do more of these, but not only with Seagull, I’m thinking the likes of American Ninja with Michael Dudikoff and those types, where cars explode for no reason etc, you’ve found a niche here bro
Elite chairborne special courses. Sifu's MOS.
His movies are actually comedies...
But hey, at least they has Van Dam in this movie. Well, not JCVD. He is RVD, Rob Van Dam. Still a Van Dam. Right?
Bow to your Sensei
So glad I found this channel!! Badass
The ridicule this guy's obtained with the years is unreal. Gotta feel sorry for the guy.
He brought it on himself
No i don't
Given that he's an (alleged) rapist and personal friend of Putin... um, nah. I don't really feel sorry for him at all.