Understanding Ambiguous Losses (The Mary Hanson Show)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 มิ.ย. 2017
- Mary talks with Pauline Boss, Professor Emeritus from the Department of Family Social Sciences at the University of Minnesota. Pauline is the author of several books and articles about ambiguous loss; she is a researcher, consultant and lecturer. "Ambiguous loss is the most stressful of losses because there is no closure," Pauline explains.
Thank you ever so much for this topic and explaining it so well. I am 76 years old. My life has been OK but I realize that I have suffered with many kinds of ambiguous loss in my whole life.
I think that I could have had a much better life, but I was held back by this.
I am still very healthy. And with this newfound information, I feel that there is a ray of sunshine for the rest of my life as I heal from these many ambiguous losses
And as you say, it is quite hard to heal from them. But the knowledge that I have them is so comforting and I feel like I am healing. Thank you thank you thank you.❤
This is an area that is almost always missed by therapists; i wish to thank Professor Pauline for this great piece of work among many others.
This is such an important topic. I was in tremendous pain living through my husband's severe addiction. He was physically alive, but that person was not him. Closest thing to demonic possession I can imagine. When I finally ran across the term "ambiguous grief " I finally felt that my pain was real and validated. I hope that more people learn about this and understand that this type of grief is real, and it is painful. Thank you for what you do!
Sarah Calhoun,, i understand so well and tough love and people do not understand we love these broken people. yet we can't enable their behavior.. omg.. help
This is exactly how I feel about my mother divorcing my dad!! She’s left and gone the person I knew is no longer the same or perhaps never was.
I have addicted family members and am an addictions counselor. I highly recommend trying Al-Anon or some of the other programs to help loved ones of addicts. May peace come to you and yours.
@@elizabetha.1171 naranon has been a huge part of my own recovery and path that I am still involved with. My husband just came home a week ago from 3 years in prison. He is currently sober, but it’s amazing to see the changes in myself already on how I’m handling things and letting go of control but also setting firm boundaries. I highly recommend naranon to anyone with addicts they love ❤️
Having lost a beautiful son to alcohol addiction and PTSD from two horrific gun events, we grieved for over 20 years. I told friends our son is alive physically, but dead to us. Son contacted us when he became homeless in 2020 on another continent. Inviting him home, a stranger arrived. One we were not physically able to care for. We helped him financially so he could go to a friend's house. He returned to the other continent with a promise of jobs which never happened. The man is our son. Is not our son. Can we heal? Not as long as this "demonic possession" pervades our life. Not great at any time of life, devastating when we are in mid-80s and have no hope of seeing him again. Much less healthy. This video is special. The first support we have felt in nearly 30 years. Thank you.
I'm grateful for people like Pauline Boss and hope she continues her work.
Thank you so much. Now I can talk about what I’m feeling. I’m going to read Dr. Boss’ books
I suffered brain injury. I have been grieving my self. Lost him. He died.
Me too! My 2 children were kidnapped by their abusive father. Its been 7 months. He uses parental alienation. So it keeps getting harder.
I'm so sorry for your loss! Sending love, support, and hugs ❤️❤️
For myself when I was caring for my cancer/Alzheimer’s mom when I recognized Alzheimer’s was an unlearning process it was much easier. Of course the crisis line was invaluable and I was thankful to have a very supportive family.
She's a genius
thank you I have felt and lived with ambiguous loss for over 20 years. My son went to prison for 10 years and who he is now that he lived thru that awful nightmare. He is and never will be the son I knew before. I never knew what to call my feelings. I knew it felt like a death, but yet hs was not dead. But seeing the damaged person he is now with drugs and mental illness breaks my heart and there is no fixing it. He must want to go to treatment. figure out all that anger he holds. I have tried to let him live here with me but the roller coaster of emotions the drama, the anger are too much/ I also know ambiguous loss has caused me health issues. Pain and fatigue.. they can't find a reason for it. The anxiety I now isolate and find trust very hard with. My thinking is if my own son can treat me so bad.. how can i trust anyone?
This hurts my heart to read this. Going through what I went through with my husband's addiction was so horrid (he is in prison now) that as a mother I cannot even fathom what it must feel like to feel the loss of your own child like that. I truly hope that something changed in him and he is able to reach out for help and maybe you can see a glimpse of the old person he was, or maybe even a new person you will love. My heart is with you. Your feelings are so incredibly real and you are not alone 💜
❤
Can anyone tell me the written source where Kubler Ross said to forget the five stages as claimed at the 9:40 mark?
Well, then let me be the FIRST! but on a serious note I am a sufferer of ambiguous loss
th-cam.com/video/Tp6qtyvwGao/w-d-xo.html
I have friends with two sides ambiguos loss. For her he’s dealing with addiction and mental illness. For him she’s dealing with physical and cognitive decline and is he leaning on addiction as a coping mechanism.