Coming from a very academic, grammar school background, this would have felt very empowering for me as a child/young person. When I paused to think, for me, the source is my own curiosity and research, almost exclusively outside of school/university, and to be honest, mostly as an adult! However, as you mentioned, some of it has also been in collaboration with someone more knowledgeable who I HAVE sought out intentionally, such as experts, tutors, therapist etc. Interesting video, thanks for sharing Lucy!
I never really thought about that but it is so true. 😆 I know my desire to do teachable moments was real and it came from fear. Today after watching your video I just stepped back and let my kids explore to their hearts content without interfering with extra commentary and I enjoyed it very much. 😆 My daughter is 7 and my son is 18 months. They are loving just living life and exploring the world.
I started my unschooling adventure today, and your videos are such a big exhale to me, in an environment where even homeschooling is a big exception (the Netherlands). We are also hard core Alfie Kohn-ish haha, and I just wanted to thank you for making your videos.. My need for support has been met from just knowing that you're out there! thank you thank you thank you
I paused and thought of all the things I learnt but actually realised a majority came from my parents sharing their knowledge and experiences with me, so not sure where I sit with this. My experiences are obviously different to yours. 😊
Cool, that's good to have a different experience :D Did you want what they had to share or was it kind of just given? I wonder if there is a subtle difference in how you experienced it.
@@LucyatLifeWithoutSchool I think the advice they gave or knowledge they shared was just relevant to what we were experiencing at the time. I remember it being nice as I felt they were really interest in what I was doing and felt like a bonding moment. I'm sure there were moments I glazed over but I did get huge benefit from my parents input and found it valuable.
When you were talking about Stone Henge and your daughter it made me think of how much I LOVE the Lord of the Rings books when I was 9 and 10 but then my parents introduced me to Magic cards and then later the LotR movies and all the excitement of the books went away. I try really hard (although it’s not easy) to let my kids have their own thoughts about things without me ruining it too much.
I really needed to hear this, I've thought about it for the past few days. Today I've just come across this quote and it just resonated with me even more because of the spark you created. "Children play best.... when they can reveal themselves, their joys, sufferings and concerns, without fear or ridicule and when mystery and imagination are not denied by fact" - Sally Jenkinson Love your content, I always find them useful so thankyou for sharing them 🖤
wow, I am so grateful to see this video while my son is still 4 months old, before we really undertake our proper "unschooling" journey. I had been thinking of unschooling basically as ENTIRELY using these "teaching moments" and just sort of hovering around. XD This has given me so much to think about! I'm excited to check out more of your videos. Thank you!
The whole pause and think experiment, I actually have the opposite experience of what you described. I was traditionally schooled and hated most of it, but there were several moments when teachers really sparked deep interest in me in a subject that I carry to this day. My passion for a subject I'm exploring as my career now was largely kindled by an exchange teacher who noticed my knack for programming and stayed with me after school showing me more about it (unpaid, unprompted, unofficially). Some teachers were just good and interesting teachers and that made me want to explore a subject I was exposed to by them. I guess I'd amend your approach a bit. I think it's okay to talk about things you're personally passionate about and want to share because of that personal passion. I think the difference here is that you would share that information with your friends and others if they were receptive to listening, so sharing it with your kid is natural and non-imposing. That's how it felt for me when a passionate teacher's teaching clicked. Like they were just super-excited to tell me this stuff they've been learning for years. I agree that when it's coming from a place of fear and sort of elitism and wanting them to know things that make them appear superficially smart or fit into a certain mold, then it's bad. Oh, and another exception. Morality and psychology is definitely an exception for me. They'll form their own opinions through trial and error and later research and thinking, but teaching them to recognize their own emotions, triggers, reactions, and habits, and reminding them to think about how they're impacting others is super-important imo. Not always, not nosily, often not publicly. Sometimes they just need to live through the moment and notice things themselves. Sometimes you need a fully hands-off approach for a while. As an adult, it often takes me a bit of time to work through some stuff or accept that I'm overburdened or that I want to change direction deep down. I don't expect them to always be able to take in stuff immediately in a top-down me handing them down my wisdom kind of way, but I do think they need nudges. Idk I'm not a parent yet lol, just curious about unschooling. If any unschoolers disagree with my points here, I'm curious to hear your perspective.
@@LucyatLifeWithoutSchool Maybe I just thought a bit too literally about what you said. The core of your video is recognizing and avoiding wrong motivations for teaching, like fear and elitism. I think that's the core of how I see it too, the rest of the nuance comes from applying that principle. :)
Ah thanks this makes so much sense! I am also an unschooler, but probably not so relaxed about things as you are 😘 i need to remember to step back at times..! Thanks for this!
omg true. I need to tattoo WAIT on my freaking hand or something! avoiding these lil ageist microaggressions is an ongoing practice and I am always stumbling my way through. thank you for these precious, brilliant reminders
When I saw the title of your video I thought, oh no she’s gotten too extreme for me… but you have such a unique way of thinking and parenting, and explain it so well. Very eye opening and inspiring.
I really love your videos. I'm trying to break that authoritarian mentality that I was heavily raised in, and your insight gives me permission to give myself grace. We're homeschooling, and I'm enjoying learning about unschooling so my kids have more freedom. You're correct in that my passions were things I sought out myself, and not "taught". Will you have more courses in the future?
Thanks for this....has really got my thinking! WAIT!!!! It is so true....loved having to think about all the knowledge I have and where it came from...man!!! I get asked so many times...'but you studied this at uni...why don't you know the answer?!?'....started uni at 17....wasn't sure what I wanted to do but had to do something right! Now, what I know is the stuff I am passionate about and love...and that I have gravitated to myself....much love, thank you for the inspiration - just what I needed to hear! I gotta stop piping up!!!!
Love that WAIT I first came across it in a decolonising education session and had actually forgotten about it, and yes teaching in this way itself is so colonised, sorry what you're doing isn't right, THIS is how you do it.... definitely have done this, it's hard to work on those fears! Luckily Disco helps with that thank you :)
Wow you're totally right! All of the things I love now came from my own curiosity. I've never thought about that before. I'll always be grateful to be able to read and write..can I ask how you approach that? Thanks!
What about colder children? 11 & 14? Sometimes it feels like they are just hanging out with friends or playing video games. I know my kids are very intelligent, but my husband always pulls me back and gets me second guessing myself and our children, especially my 14 year old because he is very anxious and comes across unmotivated.
My son is 7 and I’m just so fearful he won’t learn to read. I keep getting flack from my MIL mostly that he doesn’t know how to read yet. Is that a big deal at his age?! I really want to unschool and he seems to have so many interests in science but I just don’t know how to help him learn to read within that. Help 😟
I’ve noticed when I try to “teach” my daughter, who’s only 5, she’ll become anxious and grumble and backs away. She may be worried about getting the answer wrong as suddenly she doesn’t know even if I know that she does, but when we just chat she comes out with all sorts of knowledge that I didn’t even know she knew. This probably comes from us just talking, reading books, investigating the world around her, watching TH-cam videos ect ect. I do worry about her reading and math but I she’ll get it in her own time. What I ask myself about teaching and curriculum and what school kids are Learning is ‘ why does she need to know that?’ How will it benefit her?
On a side note, your pothos plans behind you would like me to ask you to please sprinkle a bit of ebsom salt salt on it's roots, and a piece of banana peel buried in it's pot would be heavily. Thank you lovely.
What about when they are really young. Like for really early reading etc? Is it bad to try to read words to kids example on packages or when we play a game ? Sometimes (not that often) she will ask me "mommy read this to me", but most of the time I am just reading the words without really her asking . I feel I am worried she's going to be illeterate if I don't with all the pressure for "early book reading""reading to babies is of utmost importance! " etc OTL
Interesting take on teaching. I noticed your golden pothos behind you needs some water. At least I think that's what it looks like from here. It's kind of hard to tell behind your shoulder, lol.
Coming from a very academic, grammar school background, this would have felt very empowering for me as a child/young person. When I paused to think, for me, the source is my own curiosity and research, almost exclusively outside of school/university, and to be honest, mostly as an adult! However, as you mentioned, some of it has also been in collaboration with someone more knowledgeable who I HAVE sought out intentionally, such as experts, tutors, therapist etc. Interesting video, thanks for sharing Lucy!
Absolutely! Me too x
However, right now she's teaching...I think this is a harmful road to take...there always needs to be balance.
I never really thought about that but it is so true. 😆 I know my desire to do teachable moments was real and it came from fear. Today after watching your video I just stepped back and let my kids explore to their hearts content without interfering with extra commentary and I enjoyed it very much. 😆 My daughter is 7 and my son is 18 months. They are loving just living life and exploring the world.
amazing!!
I started my unschooling adventure today, and your videos are such a big exhale to me, in an environment where even homeschooling is a big exception (the Netherlands). We are also hard core Alfie Kohn-ish haha, and I just wanted to thank you for making your videos.. My need for support has been met from just knowing that you're out there! thank you thank you thank you
Well done maria! THat is soooo exciting!
I can see my daughters eyes glaze over every time I’m like “did you know….?”
I paused and thought of all the things I learnt but actually realised a majority came from my parents sharing their knowledge and experiences with me, so not sure where I sit with this. My experiences are obviously different to yours. 😊
Cool, that's good to have a different experience :D Did you want what they had to share or was it kind of just given? I wonder if there is a subtle difference in how you experienced it.
@@LucyatLifeWithoutSchool I think the advice they gave or knowledge they shared was just relevant to what we were experiencing at the time. I remember it being nice as I felt they were really interest in what I was doing and felt like a bonding moment. I'm sure there were moments I glazed over but I did get huge benefit from my parents input and found it valuable.
Amazing video!! Love your thoughts/ideas/perspective - makes perfect sense and super valuable information!
When you were talking about Stone Henge and your daughter it made me think of how much I LOVE the Lord of the Rings books when I was 9 and 10 but then my parents introduced me to Magic cards and then later the LotR movies and all the excitement of the books went away. I try really hard (although it’s not easy) to let my kids have their own thoughts about things without me ruining it too much.
I really needed to hear this, I've thought about it for the past few days. Today I've just come across this quote and it just resonated with me even more because of the spark you created. "Children play best.... when they can reveal themselves, their joys, sufferings and concerns, without fear or ridicule and when mystery and imagination are not denied by fact" - Sally Jenkinson
Love your content, I always find them useful so thankyou for sharing them 🖤
i love this quote! thank you for sharing!
wow, I am so grateful to see this video while my son is still 4 months old, before we really undertake our proper "unschooling" journey. I had been thinking of unschooling basically as ENTIRELY using these "teaching moments" and just sort of hovering around. XD This has given me so much to think about! I'm excited to check out more of your videos. Thank you!
The whole pause and think experiment, I actually have the opposite experience of what you described. I was traditionally schooled and hated most of it, but there were several moments when teachers really sparked deep interest in me in a subject that I carry to this day. My passion for a subject I'm exploring as my career now was largely kindled by an exchange teacher who noticed my knack for programming and stayed with me after school showing me more about it (unpaid, unprompted, unofficially). Some teachers were just good and interesting teachers and that made me want to explore a subject I was exposed to by them.
I guess I'd amend your approach a bit. I think it's okay to talk about things you're personally passionate about and want to share because of that personal passion. I think the difference here is that you would share that information with your friends and others if they were receptive to listening, so sharing it with your kid is natural and non-imposing. That's how it felt for me when a passionate teacher's teaching clicked. Like they were just super-excited to tell me this stuff they've been learning for years.
I agree that when it's coming from a place of fear and sort of elitism and wanting them to know things that make them appear superficially smart or fit into a certain mold, then it's bad.
Oh, and another exception. Morality and psychology is definitely an exception for me. They'll form their own opinions through trial and error and later research and thinking, but teaching them to recognize their own emotions, triggers, reactions, and habits, and reminding them to think about how they're impacting others is super-important imo. Not always, not nosily, often not publicly. Sometimes they just need to live through the moment and notice things themselves. Sometimes you need a fully hands-off approach for a while. As an adult, it often takes me a bit of time to work through some stuff or accept that I'm overburdened or that I want to change direction deep down. I don't expect them to always be able to take in stuff immediately in a top-down me handing them down my wisdom kind of way, but I do think they need nudges.
Idk I'm not a parent yet lol, just curious about unschooling. If any unschoolers disagree with my points here, I'm curious to hear your perspective.
I think that we are on exactly the same page! I must not have explained it quite right :D
@@LucyatLifeWithoutSchool Maybe I just thought a bit too literally about what you said. The core of your video is recognizing and avoiding wrong motivations for teaching, like fear and elitism. I think that's the core of how I see it too, the rest of the nuance comes from applying that principle. :)
Ah thanks this makes so much sense! I am also an unschooler, but probably not so relaxed about things as you are 😘 i need to remember to step back at times..! Thanks for this!
You're so welcome!
omg true. I need to tattoo WAIT on my freaking hand or something! avoiding these lil ageist microaggressions is an ongoing practice and I am always stumbling my way through. thank you for these precious, brilliant reminders
:D
Thank you Lucy 😊
Enjoying your videos since hippyshake!!
Glad you like them!
When I saw the title of your video I thought, oh no she’s gotten too extreme for me… but you have such a unique way of thinking and parenting, and explain it so well. Very eye opening and inspiring.
hahaha thanks for persevering!
I really love your videos. I'm trying to break that authoritarian mentality that I was heavily raised in, and your insight gives me permission to give myself grace. We're homeschooling, and I'm enjoying learning about unschooling so my kids have more freedom. You're correct in that my passions were things I sought out myself, and not "taught". Will you have more courses in the future?
ALL of the grace! yes!
Thanks for this....has really got my thinking! WAIT!!!! It is so true....loved having to think about all the knowledge I have and where it came from...man!!! I get asked so many times...'but you studied this at uni...why don't you know the answer?!?'....started uni at 17....wasn't sure what I wanted to do but had to do something right! Now, what I know is the stuff I am passionate about and love...and that I have gravitated to myself....much love, thank you for the inspiration - just what I needed to hear! I gotta stop piping up!!!!
Love that WAIT I first came across it in a decolonising education session and had actually forgotten about it, and yes teaching in this way itself is so colonised, sorry what you're doing isn't right, THIS is how you do it.... definitely have done this, it's hard to work on those fears! Luckily Disco helps with that thank you :)
YAY!
Wow you're totally right! All of the things I love now came from my own curiosity. I've never thought about that before. I'll always be grateful to be able to read and write..can I ask how you approach that? Thanks!
What about colder children? 11 & 14? Sometimes it feels like they are just hanging out with friends or playing video games. I know my kids are very intelligent, but my husband always pulls me back and gets me second guessing myself and our children, especially my 14 year old because he is very anxious and comes across unmotivated.
Love this I often do this and can see the kids glaze over and probably in their head say shh mam. Can't wait to start the Disco course this week 😀
yay so exciting to have you on DISCO! whoot!
My son is 7 and I’m just so fearful he won’t learn to read. I keep getting flack from my MIL mostly that he doesn’t know how to read yet. Is that a big deal at his age?! I really want to unschool and he seems to have so many interests in science but I just don’t know how to help him learn to read within that. Help 😟
Seven is SO young. Take kids out of an unnatural coercive reading envrionment and seven is virtually premature reading!!
super thought provoking as per usual!!! Thanks.
My pleasure!
I’ve noticed when I try to “teach” my daughter, who’s only 5, she’ll become anxious and grumble and backs away. She may be worried about getting the answer wrong as suddenly she doesn’t know even if I know that she does, but when we just chat she comes out with all sorts of knowledge that I didn’t even know she knew. This probably comes from us just talking, reading books, investigating the world around her, watching TH-cam videos ect ect. I do worry about her reading and math but I she’ll get it in her own time.
What I ask myself about teaching and curriculum and what school kids are Learning is ‘ why does she need to know that?’ How will it benefit her?
Yes, great Qs!
On a side note, your pothos plans behind you would like me to ask you to please sprinkle a bit of ebsom salt salt on it's roots, and a piece of banana peel buried in it's pot would be heavily. Thank you lovely.
hehe THANKS lisa!
Thank you so much for sharing this video. Wonderful insights!
Thanks for watching!
What about when they are really young. Like for really early reading etc? Is it bad to try to read words to kids example on packages or when we play a game ? Sometimes (not that often) she will ask me "mommy read this to me", but most of the time I am just reading the words without really her asking . I feel I am worried she's going to be illeterate if I don't with all the pressure for "early book reading""reading to babies is of utmost importance! " etc OTL
Wait 💛✨💛 loved this video 💛✨💛🙏🏻
Love the video, thank you 😊♥️
Glad you enjoyed it!
Interesting take on teaching. I noticed your golden pothos behind you needs some water. At least I think that's what it looks like from here. It's kind of hard to tell behind your shoulder, lol.
it does! lol, i did water it just before this video in case someone noticed bahaha