OCD is a weed. Rip up the roots!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
  • Follow your anxiety disorder all the way down to the big fears at its roots, and learn to accept those. Give them a big hug as you rip them out of the ground!
    My first book, The Mind Workout, explores this exercise more in-depth: bit.ly/themindworkout
    Be social all over here:
    Instagram: / markwfreeman
    Twitter: / thepathtochange
    Facebook: / ihaveabrain
    Blog: www.everybodyha...
    Courses: www.markfreeman.ca

ความคิดเห็น • 378

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    What helped me tremendously was learning how to shift from living my life as a reaction to anxiety, and instead living my life by acting according to my values. It's a much bigger lifestyle shift than just dealing with a specific symptom. Instead of fueling your life with anxiety (which means you always need anxiety), you shift to fueling your life with values.

    • @Oliverkor
      @Oliverkor ปีที่แล้ว

      I like this approach. Difficulty is right now my ERP consists of engaging in very tough scenarios that I would never engage in on a normal value driven life. Like for example someone afraid of contamination having to lie down in a public bathroom floor, a behavior that they would never do value-wise. How do I reconcile the exposure with a value driven lifestyle?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Oliverkor I don't understand how that's an ERP exercise or what the purpose of that would be. I find it useful to focus ERP around cutting out compulsions. The goal is not to try to clean away feelings like anxiety or fear.

    • @immaisuradze
      @immaisuradze ปีที่แล้ว

      What if u cant really find a reason?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@immaisuradze That's great. Then it'll be no problem cutting out the compulsions. But if you find that difficult, perhaps consider working with a skilled professional to explore things

    • @immaisuradze
      @immaisuradze ปีที่แล้ว

      @@everybodyhasabrain yea this trick gave me hard time to find reasons

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    For me it involved learning to accept death, learning that the assumptions and judgments I'd attached to death were unhelpful. When my brain would get worried about something bad happening to me that could end in death, I'd agree that I could die but not react to it. Over time, your brain learns that death isn't something to fear. Changing my approach to death has helped me in many areas. It's made my life much healthier. Life is no longer just a series of reactions fuelled by the fear of dying

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  10 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Finding the root is helpful with practicing Acceptance. It tends to be more effective to practice accepting the big underlying fear than just the specific, superficial way that is reflected in symptoms. But it's not necessary. Definitely don't let it become a barrier, that would just be the OCD at work. Finding the root is only a support. You can still cut out the compulsions without it.

    • @lorenalechter2330
      @lorenalechter2330 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mark, can you recommend a superb therapist that work in the way you propose? We live in S FLORIDA, THANKS

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lorenalechter2330 I don't know of any in south Florida personally, but many therapists work online now, so you could broaden your area. There is an ACT therapist directory on the website of the association for contextual and behavioral science: contextualscience.org/civicrm/profile?gid=17&reset=1&force=1

  • @mjgeronimo6976
    @mjgeronimo6976 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    i'm afraid to ask why because the same "why" led me to OCD.

    • @kissingmyass
      @kissingmyass 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      fear is the food of OCD. I also have OCD. You r not alone. Let's fight it together.

  • @davem475
    @davem475 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    YOU are a genius !! THANK YOU !! YOU...hit MY CORE PROBLEM straight on !! YOUR 3 are EXACTLY MY... fundamental fears !! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    That sounds like very routine OCD. Anxiety used to interfere a lot with exercise for me as well. The trick is in learning to exercise regardless of the weather in your brain. Your brain thinks you can't do it, do it anyway. Your brain thinks it's uncomfortable, do it anyway. Your brain thinks you're not seeing changes, do it anyway. Don't let thoughts affect your healthy actions. An exercise program can be a great way to put something other than your brain in charge of your fitness.

    • @troy4388
      @troy4388 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      One of the best comments I’ve ever seen

  • @sheenam6545
    @sheenam6545 9 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    I know I've expressed my appreciation before, but I really appreciate these posts coming from someone who has actually experienced OCD and has been able to dig up the roots. While I really appreciate my doctors, I think in many cases it would be helpful if they'd experienced it first hand. It becomes much less elusive this way. Thank you for pushing through those difficult times and then still using your time and energy to help those who are struggling. :)

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  9 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Thanks, Sheena! Yes, it would be great to share more info with health practitioners from people that have lived experience of overcoming these challenges. But it is helpful that we have platforms like TH-cam so people can access info directly. It must have been so difficult to struggle with OCD before the Internet came along. People would have had no way of knowing so many others were dealing with the exact same issues.

  • @itsaxel8088
    @itsaxel8088 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Found this gem. The explanations and questions you ask made me look at situations from a different angle.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Enjoy exploring those new angles 😁🙇‍♂️

  • @alr.3137
    @alr.3137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I think with me it's those three things: sanity (death, fear of loosing my 'self'), relationships (fear of being alone), morality (fear of being somehow perverted/morally deficient)

    • @cerealis_5432
      @cerealis_5432 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have similar fears. Fear of losing myself to these thoughts, fear of intellectual and moral deficiency. Any advice?

  • @foamsoap41
    @foamsoap41 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I just found this video right now in my recommended and I love it. The thing with OCD is that it always seems to target what we care most about. Helps to put things in perspective.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thanks for watching them. I'm glad they're helping!

  • @darpankothia7320
    @darpankothia7320 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This channel feels like family

  • @dreamxxjust
    @dreamxxjust 10 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Woow I finally have the feeling that someone understands me. Thank you so much for making this video! It means a lot to me! I've been fighting against OCD since I was a little child and at one point I thought I was 'recoverd'. However, I'm losing this battle again lately and I got back to Exposure theraphy. I hope I'll finally finf the root soon because I think that that's the reason why my OCD has gone bad again lately. It's time to cut the roots! Sorry for my bad English. Thank you so much.

  • @hufash0063
    @hufash0063 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    You are helping so many of us who are struggling with this beast. Thank you! I feel like my own roots are very very deep and I'm not sure I would be able to find them myself. What is the best way to start? By asking why? Unfortunately, with my OCD, I have become so unsure of my own identity that I cannot even explain why I am afraid of these things. I had ROCD when I was in high school- ended up marrying the man I was so doubtful about. We have a wonderful marriage. This theme pops up here and there, but hasn't been bad lately. For the past 2 and a half years I have been stuck on POCD. I have a 5 year old son, so this has been incredibly difficult for me. I was admitted to a mental hospital because of suicidal ideations. Got better for a while with some medication, but now even with increased medicine along with excercise, it's hitting hard again...

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  8 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      +Ashley Umphlet Hi Ashley. The first thing I'd suggest is being aware of the stories you tell yourself about OCD. If you tell yourself the roots are very deep and they'll be challenging to uncover, then it won't be surprising if you believe that. So one step to take as you get started could be to believe in your ability to deal with these issues. A next step could be working with an experienced therapist to help you cut out compulsions. Finding the roots and practicing acceptance with them is great, but it's not a shortcut for getting around eliminating compulsions. Working with a therapist that practices an evidence-based therapy like Acceptance & Commitment Therapy could be a helpful step to take. Medication and exercise can help relieve symptoms but they're not things I would expect to stop OCD or prevent it from worsening unless they were combined with therapy to eliminate compulsions.

  • @futbollife1093
    @futbollife1093 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you man! I have been suffering with ocd for some time but I trust we will overcome it somehow.

  • @broojie8191
    @broojie8191 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It's really great that you talk about recovery so much, I've suffered from the disorder my entire life. I realized I had a lot of root problems with my obsessions. My harm OCD and contamination stem from my fear of dying. My hocd and tocd stem from my fear of change in my life, I always feared making big changes bc I liked to stay in my comfort zone. My rocd stems from my fear of change as well but also not being happy, I've always feared not being happy with my life. You really opened my eyes today, I could never figure out why I was so afraid of the things I was until I got down to the base of it. So seriously, thank you!

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  7 ปีที่แล้ว

      You're welcome. All the best with ripping out those roots!

  • @FernandoVazquez-ro1nw
    @FernandoVazquez-ro1nw 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    So spot on. I just realized this on my own and now your words are confirming it. Thank you!

  • @WiWillemijn
    @WiWillemijn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My ocd is about forgetting. I am afraid of forgetting good things, forgetting my life, so I write every single thought down. And I know I will forget if I dont write them down, so how do I get rid of this?

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes but I was really lucky to have a psychologist who focused on the future and the changes I wanted to see. In OCD communities you often see lots of focus on "themes" and judging symptoms and discriminating btwn the tiniest differences in symptoms. But none of that matters. It doesn't matter if you think you have OCD or not. Look at the healthy changes you want to make and build what you need to build to make those happen.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for watching! That's great you're going to try CBT. I'll do a video on what to look for in a therapist in the coming weeks. It's too bad more people don't talk openly about their experiences with therapists like the way we do for restaurants or cars. A recommendation from somebody who recovered with a therapist is great. The advice Jennifer gave is also excellent. Don't be afraid to contact them and ask questions. You're the buyer and you deserve a great product that works well!

  • @brianmery761
    @brianmery761 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Best video. I have cut compulsions and rumination with ERP - but still struggling with the GAD loop. I found it so hard when therapist try to uncover roots, as they try dig up things that not really there. Where as this method of just asking WHY am I fearing this. Is so practical and makes sense, looking ad the fear head on. Helps so much. Bless ya Mark.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks, Brian! I'm glad you found this useful :)

  • @ThriveWithLouise
    @ThriveWithLouise 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i think thats really on point about death, i think i associate death with being alone and abandonment... youre so right

  • @swaggkidd214
    @swaggkidd214 11 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thanks,this video has helped me the most.theres a lesson for everyone who suffers from this disease what mr.Mark is doing is giving you a formula to a new mindset this is how u handle any problem regular people may not know the way to approach aproblem because they have not recived the stability that we have.so people the reason for this is to make us stronger so that we can handle other problems in life with ease..

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Superficially, OCD symptoms seem like they vary to the sufferer, but a huge step to take on the path to recovery is to look beyond the superficial characteristics of the compulsion. Whether somebody is embarrassed or not by it is irrelevant to overcoming it. I found it really useful to see all compulsions as attempts to check on, cope with, or control uncertainty.

  • @LongValleyPoetics
    @LongValleyPoetics 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This might be one of the most helpful, understandable, well-formed, and actionable things I've ever seen regarding OCD in my 15 years of having been diagnosed. Is this your idea or part of a larger idea/book? Either way, thank you so much for presenting this to us.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks! I talk more about in my book YOU ARE NOT A ROCK: bit.ly/youarenotarock It comes from a common design thinking exercise. When I was doing therapy, I found it strange we don't give people more tools to understand and navigate complex changes. But in the business world, we have all of these great tools for exploring why people do the things they do. So much of what I do now is adapt business innovation tools to the big innovations of our personal lives.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for the message, Sharon! I'm glad you've found a great path to recovery as well.

  • @stevenrodriguez8788
    @stevenrodriguez8788 11 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Your videos are really helpful mark! Thanks for making these videos so that OCD/intrusive thought sufferers can have a little piece of mind. My ocd is not all that bad but what's killing me is my harm ocd and I hope to beat it so I can live a normal and healthy life!

  • @pizza5259
    @pizza5259 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow! This video has helped me so much. I know you posted it 2 years ago. But its amazing how much it has helped me. Thank you. I'm currently looking for a good therapist hoping I can overcome this OCD.

  • @juliettejones6091
    @juliettejones6091 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have quite bad harm OCD and I find your videos and blog super helpful, thanks Mark!

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Juliette Jones Thanks, Juliette! I'm glad they're helping on the journey up and over OCD!

  • @kigo641
    @kigo641 ปีที่แล้ว

    How would one go about figuring out what their root fears are? If it were ROCD, POCD, Harm ocd…wonder what commonality there be between those themes? Fear of not being responsible? Fear of disappointing others? Fear of not being loved? Then you could dig deeper to maybe all of those things ultimately being about fear of being alone. Gosh…just seems like it would be hatd to nail it down. And then when you did nail it down, how do you address it? Thanks so much for everything Mark. You’re a wonderful person and I’m so happy you’ve found contentment in your life. ❤

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  ปีที่แล้ว

      It doesn't seem too hard since your explored things quite smoothly in your comment. With the three you mentioned, it's quite common to see it's about the fear of being alone (and then losing what we believe that would take away from us). I recently uploaded two videos that explore this concept further and might help with seeing a way to dig into it. Here's one on understanding core fears: th-cam.com/video/Hu-OXEz7R0A/w-d-xo.html

  • @wasela2983
    @wasela2983 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    @ Mark Freeman thank you for these invaluable vlogs. I have only discovered your channel recently, but you make heaps of sense. The most insightful stuff I have come across in years about OCD and General Anxiety Disorder. Thank you, keep it up, I am watching your latest videos as well, in 2020.

  • @PriyankaSharma-tx2uh
    @PriyankaSharma-tx2uh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Best video for ocd and other mental issues 👌

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's the same. You're always going to have reasons. Check out my latest video on being unreasonable. You're always going to have totally legitimate sounding reasons. You're always going to be able to come up with another "what if..." you want to be certain about. Give uncertainty a big hug. It's okay not to be certain, regardless of the reasons your brain throws at you. If you try to resolve this uncertainty, your brain will just throw another one at you about illness and health.

  • @mayankmalviya6619
    @mayankmalviya6619 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video is going to help many including myself stay blessed.

  • @Heyitspat
    @Heyitspat 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just wanna say your video really help me out. Finally someone who understand OCD in its true form. I'm sick and tired of people who simplify OCD and don't understand that obsession can be very handicapping.

  • @leonski100
    @leonski100 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    I would like to say that I am finding your videos on OCD very helpful and are a real eye opener for me as an individual. It's been on going for 13+ years and never really excepted my worries or problems that I fear!

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks, Steven! If your harm OCD is tough, start with the "not all that bad" stuff first. Tackling the stuff that doesn't bother us so much is one of the most effective ways to build the strength to tackle the things that do bother us. Keep pushing!

  • @huanjin5202
    @huanjin5202 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks! Apologies for the delay. I was off in Brazil eating açaí berries. But I am back now. New video this week.

  • @Stueyknowz
    @Stueyknowz 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Come Back. We need more of you're inspiration.

  • @brycek2033
    @brycek2033 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Excellent information explained in a clear and logic manner. Thank you!

  • @mobius1234
    @mobius1234 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The root of mine is getting sick and becoming disabled or dying. That why everything gets contaminated so easily for me.

  • @daughterofthemosthighfrey752
    @daughterofthemosthighfrey752 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for sharing your saving thoughts about OCD. Yeah often behind every sickness there is a root cause...Be Blessed.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    I would want to say "never". But they're really useful to tackle because they can be a constant source of compulsions. So learning how to accept some of the fundamental uncertainties that underpin the superficial compulsions, can really help address large groups of symptoms or "themes" you deal with.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks, I'm glad they've helped. It's common to experience general anxiety afterwards for awhile. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder after I was done a course of ERP as well. After years of feeding anxiety, it takes time for the brain to change, so keep doing healthy things and your brain will catch up with you. But if you're still holding your breath when you're anxious, that's a compulsion. You're going to find it helpful to cut that out.

    • @luckysemwal1314
      @luckysemwal1314 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sir I've repaired from ocd cuz of my will cuz I know its all fake but sir the thoughts are not the issue even if there is no thought my brain urges to find more thoughts or trying something to makes me stress with no reason .I've also addictive to high dopamine activity like dj and beatbox rap I perform .and extreme fun that now everything appears boring even I lose intrest in life . Please🙏 can u help or give me ur advice

  • @Antonio_saiddd
    @Antonio_saiddd 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think this finally broke through to me. I have basically the same roots as you

  • @tanaykamath1415
    @tanaykamath1415 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent video, got to learn something which will significantly improve my recovery process

  • @OCDTREATMENTCENTRE
    @OCDTREATMENTCENTRE 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great work Mark . Your videos are a great help with helping sufferers worldwide. As an OCD specialist and former sufferer its clear to see that your recovery involved the same root as mine. I agree with the content in all of your videos 100 % . Sharon Davies MBACP

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Definitely try and stick to it. But don't look for improvements. You already know how your brain works: if you look for improvements, it's going to doubt them. Just as checking things to feel safe only makes you feel unsafe, exercising for improvements will only make you feel like you're not improving. Hop off the judgment train. Take your brain out of your exercising. Exercise to exercise.

  • @americablessgod1273
    @americablessgod1273 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes (I request the same as a viewer below), please help us know HOW to overcome the fear of being ALONE/lonely. It's a root of insomnia, and can hinder OR paralyze us as far as living normal, as far as going with the wrong people or doing dumb things, or else isolating us from the depression.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's the same challenge everybody with OCD runs into. Whether you're worried about checking the iron bcs leaving it on could would do some damage, or whether you're worried you've hit somebody with your car and you want to go back and check, or if you're worried you've hurt somebody emotionally and you want to check on that, or if you're worried you're going to lose your job and you want to try to control that. They're all the same. Reacting only fuels your anxiety disorder

  • @laurabellefontaine7168
    @laurabellefontaine7168 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is amazing.

  • @WinnieFinesse
    @WinnieFinesse 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, when I have some quiet time in the next week I think I'll do some writing down and try to find the roots of this stuffff. Death is one for sure though... Thanks :)

  • @anonanon7553
    @anonanon7553 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Literally through these videos I've realized that I have had OCD and still do. Starting when I was 10 years old I would constantly check things. I had a fear that my objects would go missing. It feels amazing knowing other people have had the exact same experience as me

  • @Calminmind
    @Calminmind 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    5 star vid!!! Mark, this is amazing stuff. I wish my doctor put it like this.

  • @danielptfc
    @danielptfc 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    best video I have ever seen on OCD

  • @vityakristianto4724
    @vityakristianto4724 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Gosh thank you so much

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    You're welcome. I'll definitely check out your OCD videos. Thanks for sharing your own experiences!

  • @terencereed7957
    @terencereed7957 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Tremendous advice

  • @VictoV7
    @VictoV7 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very nice video! This helped me with my mental troubles

  • @rosiequeen90
    @rosiequeen90 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's so relaxing and empowering to know that the root cause of obsessional thinking and the anxiety coming from it, is actually something very simple, i.e. the fear of death, hurting others, being alone. I think Mark hit the nail on the head with this one - things that cavemen were worried about to keep themselves surviving.
    When you know the foundation and building structures of OCD, it all starts to make sense about knocking it down.
    I've been suffering since I was 8 years old and am now 27 where knowledge is slowly becoming available.
    Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of it, then life slaps me across the face and I feel like I'm at square 1 again. Was this your experience, Mark, when recovering? Would you happen to have a video about on & off days and allowing yourself to never give up?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I don't remember which video it's in but something I find useful is not approaching recovery as this big glass vase we have to carefully protect. Then there is this thing that life can knock off and we have to piece it back together. I find it much more useful to just focus on this moment. Success is about how I act in this moment, in this next step. Then you can't be knocked back to square one because you're always taking a fresh step. We don't have to carry around garbage from the past or rewards from the past. We're always free to make a choice. Even if we find that we're lost, it's great that we've recognized that, and the next step can be in a direction we care about. And that's success. So I get rid of the idea of "off" or "on" days. And that makes health and happiness much easier because I'm always working from a position of success.

    • @caromcloud
      @caromcloud 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      You should make a video about this Mark. When you have mental illness, it's easy to start worrying, when will I relapse next, or what if my progress gets destroyed? The mental approach you're suggesting helps make this line of thinking unnecessary.

  • @danielchappell1672
    @danielchappell1672 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Core Fear Theory!

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    No, I didn't take any medication.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great! I'm glad they're helping.

  • @andrewthiyam8602
    @andrewthiyam8602 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for the knowledge, you're amazing. Would've been even better if you gave some helpful tips to tackle the roots. : )

  • @christineweber2203
    @christineweber2203 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you!

  • @ggrant4321
    @ggrant4321 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hi Mark,
    Thanks for your videos. I partially agree with you when you say that all fears boil down to the fear of death. Fear of death and loss of meaning was a primary obsession of mine for some time. I am no longer afraid of death. The ocd fears that come to me now have to do with being attacked and / or sexually assaulted. I am a man. You almost never hear about people discussing these kind of fears. I developed them after an encounter with a very angry ex military guy. No one was hurt, but I developed new obsessions. Can you speak to overcoming these kind of fears?
    Thanks,
    Geo Grant

  • @Solefear
    @Solefear 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Core fears are extremely differen't to tear up when it comes to my OCD. Theres no end but i see where you're coming from. It does not matter how much acceptance you apply to one, there will always be another. the compulsive element, i guess causes so much manipulation, not like GAD. But see where ya coming from

  • @rubingautam6825
    @rubingautam6825 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You have helped me out so much I can't thx you so much I felt like I was gonna die until I saw your vids just bloody thx you bro

  • @1just2another3girl4
    @1just2another3girl4 12 ปีที่แล้ว

    Do research and call some up in your local area! A lot of them are willing to correspond with you via email or phone call to so if you're a good fit. Ask them if they have experience with OCD/Anxiety Disorders and their experience with the type of therapy you're looking for - CBT, ERP, REBT. That's just my advice.

  • @boyfriendoftheyear
    @boyfriendoftheyear 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dude you are the best!

  • @JohnDoe-qj5ik
    @JohnDoe-qj5ik 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I've tried to explain this to people I've talked to about my OCD, but none of them were interested. Their only concern was getting me to stop the compulsions. Addressing the root cause was a secondary concern at best.
    I also thought it was interesting how you realized that your fear of your house burning down was more about a fear of being held responsible for the house burning down and that that would result in people hating you. I have essentially the same fear, only for me it's a fear that if I don't clean my hands and possessions perfectly, I'll be held responsible for being "disgusting" and people will hate me for it.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It did help me to see that stopping the compulsions is how you address those roots. This video is just to help people see that there are lots of different compulsions connected to the ones they may see as problematic. Recognizing that checking the stove is about social anxiety is just to point people towards cutting out social anxiety compulsions they might otherwise view as "normal" or not a problem or just "part of my personality".

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Perhaps "everyday" or "normal" are probably words people use to refer to these types of compulsions. Checking email is a good example: if a thought pops into your head: "I wonder if I got an email from Jim," and then you check your email, you've just engaged in the same compulsive process that underlies OCD: Reacting to an uncertainty to try to be certain. The thing you're trying to be certain about is irrelevant. It's training your brain to follow that pattern that causes the problems.

  • @Pathrissia
    @Pathrissia 12 ปีที่แล้ว

    That's EXACTLY what I feel 2:00.. Yesterday and today especially..that I can be so close to being on a better path, but then I don't dare dealing with th fears that I fall back into the OCD and anxiety again. Right on! I think one of my root is that I have very bad self esteem. I will def give this a try though, thanks!

  • @Cyclops4770
    @Cyclops4770 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    I will try, and stick to it, see how it goes, and see if there have been any improvements.

  • @matthewbannerman5958
    @matthewbannerman5958 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi Mark, I’ve had Pure OCD since my early teens, I’m now 42. My obsessions are about change and realness, I struggle to understand how a band with no original members can still be the same band? Or if a washing up liquid bottle changes designe how can I still be the same? But if the said bottle then toe as back to the old original style is it then a fake version of its original style? I’m constantly retracing, thinking of scenarios and comparing situations, or looking st everyday objects to see if they all match up! It all stem down to the fact that I want everything to be as real,important as each other, if I make myself a curry for my tea, is it a real curry or is it a fake curry as it’s not from India? I’m always trying to analize in my head that no matter what it’s is it’s still real but I get this unrest, unresolved feeling in the pit of my stomach that it’s (the curry) is being misled, it feels in limbo, I seem to attach meaning to everything. This is just an example of the countless things I do it about, I understand the acceptance part but the feeling of unrest is killing me..... I could literally give you 100s of my examples but it all boils down to the same thing, realness, genuine, etc.......

  • @YOLKFOLK
    @YOLKFOLK 12 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks again for another great video!

  • @SiameseCats4ever
    @SiameseCats4ever 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What I mean, is that this last wave of OCD was "doubt everything" like to think.. how can I actually be sure of something? I can only "believe" this works. I can only believe this is an ocd thought and not what I want to do, etc.
    It's almost like not really believing the thought is an OCD one but a thought you would actually like to perform, but which obviously is filled with doubt like ocd's are usually.

    • @SiameseCats4ever
      @SiameseCats4ever 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wow, time has really passed since I wrote this. Anyone suffering from OCD, I encourage you to be brave and face the fear. 3 years ago I was feeling in the bottomless pit, now this is all but a memory. =) still won't deny that anxiety exists and that's normal. Just another sensation..

    • @jenniferannkalis
      @jenniferannkalis 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Matteo Latorre thank you for giving us hope! :)

    • @SiameseCats4ever
      @SiameseCats4ever 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm glad I can help :) search for meditation, relaxation... your true self! remember you control your mind, not that she controls you.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    cont'd... Learning how to eat in a healthy way and introduce healthy cooking and eating habits into your life in a structured way will help turn eating into an action you take that aligns with your values instead of a reaction to past problems or anxieties. Working with a personal trainer or registered dietician could be helpful. Happy eating!

  • @TheMoldyMama
    @TheMoldyMama 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this. I so appreciate it. "Tackling those core fears". I dipped deep into depression at the beginning of this winter and have had increased OCD symptoms lately. I have allowed myself to go into the depression and see where it leads. Guess what? Exactly what you brought up in this video. I hadn't thought to apply it to my OCD! Thank you. The root of my depression is also the root of my OCD. Death, relationships, resources. Beautiful.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  10 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks, Lisa. I hope digging into those things has given you some insights to embrace the uncertainties and move forward on your journey. All the best as the journey continues!

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  12 ปีที่แล้ว

    I hope it helps!

  • @ryandigings7335
    @ryandigings7335 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Mark, mine are exactly the same as yours. Particularity death. we have conversed about this several times but i find very abstract on how to practice acceptance of it. could you possibly expand? it's a difficult one, as no one has the actual answer to this and i am not a religious person. I love the fact i'm getting the info from someone who's ACTUALLY been there and come through!
    Cheers, Ryan

  • @Kaposhima
    @Kaposhima 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Have you had OCD about your sexuality? Because this is the biggest obsession I've had besides the fear of getting paralyzed.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +CptObvious It can really help not to see OCD as being about separate things. Your sexuality obsessions and getting paralyzed obsessions are likely about the exact same root fears. They're not different.

    • @Kaposhima
      @Kaposhima 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Mark Freeman you're right...

    • @MAMP
      @MAMP 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I had HOCD (along with other compulsions) for 3 years. I traced it back to the idea that if i were gay my family would abandon me (fear of being alone). The story of how the HOCD came to be is a very complicated one that would require a face to face conversation. Short version: It was based on trauma that my inner child experienced 20+ years ago.

    • @broojie8191
      @broojie8191 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      lilbromarky1 I suffer from it too as a female, mine generally stemmed from the fear of big changes in my life and the fear of not being who I want to be. I always had a fear of that, so I feared being lesbian or trans when I know I'm not.

    • @abixD101
      @abixD101 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am experiencing the exact same thing. Have you found any ways in dealing with this effectively?

  • @MovieandMidnight
    @MovieandMidnight 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Well I have been diagnosed with OCD & occasionally I tend to worry about losing my friend now as a friend because an old friend I had was a friend but then started badmouthing me then started telling me he was too busy to hang out but was online posting pics with other people & always told me he was too busy to hang out. So my main root fear is losing a good friend of mine now always taking examples of what happened with the old friend & turning into worries about losing the new friend when he is still my friend

  • @anonanon7553
    @anonanon7553 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    My fundamental fear is complete lonliness. But I also have a lot of anxiety around life being fundamentally pointless. This gives me a lot of anxiety. And this is my biggest problem I have no idea how to approach or deal with a life that is pointless in the end ... Like everything is for naught. Even joy is pointless. So that gives me a huge amount of anxiety

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think this would be a great compulsion to get rid of because doing the types of things you're describing will only make OCD grow and expand in other areas of your life as well. Are you able to access treatment in your area? I'd recommend somebody who does Exposure & Response Prevention or Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, with a track record of helping people recover from OCD. Recovery is possible and it's really great not to have to ruminate on things like this all of the time.

  • @tetonic
    @tetonic 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    love the caveman reference ;) i am afraid of whatever is terrible. My loved ones being threatened by harm or past actions of mine and there it is actions of mine harming the people i care about. before that it was mostly about my health. this hinders me when i wanna relax or sleep.

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks. Congratulations on winning Boyfriend of the Year!

  • @everybodyhasabrain
    @everybodyhasabrain  11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Uncertainty about harm and death. It's just like any other compulsion that involves checking to be certain about your health, or trying to control the world so you don't get harmed.

  • @manuelbenitezsoria4234
    @manuelbenitezsoria4234 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Totally agree. My only root is death fear. But the question is how to work on acceptance to eliminate this irrational fear ( i Say irrational because how we can fear the most irrefutable truth of our existence)

  • @fionaberg4997
    @fionaberg4997 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How do I accept the core fear?

  • @dmaca222
    @dmaca222 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great thankyou so much for the advice and the vids. keep it up.

  • @olvebluetooth
    @olvebluetooth 9 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The 1 million dollar question is how you can tackle them, if you are afraid of death should you jump out of a plane With parachute? How would you cope With not having enough Resources?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  9 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You don't have to jump out an airplane without a parachute. That wouldn't help you confront death. That would only help you confront your fear of jumping out of a plane without a parachute.
      We can confront death by living.
      It's not possible to cope with losing your resources. If people have no food or water, they die. It is not something to try to cope with. Coping is only a compulsion that perpetuates the problem. Instead, I found it helpful to focus on how to build resources instead of trying to constantly avoid losing them.
      It's similar with life: building and creating my life is much more enjoyable than sinking my life into a never ending series of compulsions leading to more uncertainties and more compulsions and on and on.

    • @GavDuggan1983
      @GavDuggan1983 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for this question, I was about to ask the same thing.

  • @malymadefamily4916
    @malymadefamily4916 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Mark!
    I got diagnosed in February but I’ve been having ocd all my life. Your channel and book has helped me so much. I’m still struggling figuring out my core fears but I’m getting there. I was wondering how you figure out a core fear with hoarding. I hate mess so I don’t hoard random things. I have a “Pinterest organized level” pantry, laundry room, and home in general according to family and friends. I keep essentials and food stocked up like a store and pantry stuff organized in more than 100 mason jars. I used to coupon but I stopped because that was getting out of hand. I buy at least $300 worth of food each week. I hate wasting but notice I check expiration dates and even if it’s not expired I feel like it’s old or contaminated and throw it out then buy a new one the next shopping trip. That’s still hoarding right? How would I find my core fear with this?

  • @SiameseCats4ever
    @SiameseCats4ever 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hey Mark, how have you been?
    Last three months have been OCD free. Yet the last three days got me into some sexual and harm OCD? did it happen to you that in middle of your fight and after months of no symptoms suddenly you feel "urged" to compulse? Even when you know it is a compulsion, suddenly you feel dragged towards participating in it, even if you know you'll be harmed?
    Another thing: Did you ever have OCD with burning yourself boiling water for example? so in compulsion you wouldnt throw yourself the whole thing of boiling water (obviously not) but you would touch it with your finger, or allow a drop to fall to your finger, and then you would fall into a greater range of anxiety?

  • @paulamurphy1007
    @paulamurphy1007 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Could the big fear be losing it or fear of going crazy?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's very common as one of the superficial topics. Usually it can help to see it as a broader fear of losing control or losing our identities. But seeing that we're afraid of losing it is a great place to start!

  • @lingchen5261
    @lingchen5261 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Mark, your 9 tips of OCD videos really helped me a lot, I felt much better once I stop giving in to my obsessions. However, after my OCDs are solved, I realized I'm still left with general anxiety issue. I believe the root of my anxiety boils down to my eating issues (fear of losing weight). I had bad digestive issues in the past and I always fear losing weight. When I'm anxious I would hold my breath and lose my appetite. How should I deal with it?

  • @ryanlewis194
    @ryanlewis194 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My rehearsal is from the core fear of medacine and saying something wrong that would confuse the doctor and end up on wrong meds.. thanks for vid.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  8 ปีที่แล้ว

      you might find it useful to dig into that a bit more. Why would it be bad to get the wrong meds?

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  8 ปีที่แล้ว

      you might find it useful to dig into that a bit more. Why would it be bad to get the wrong meds?

    • @ryanlewis194
      @ryanlewis194 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Fear of describing symptoms that mimicked a different mental health disorder.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, and then you get the wrong meds. Why would that be bad?

    • @ryanlewis194
      @ryanlewis194 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Mark Freeman I confused a doctor early on by "overloading " him w symptoms. He tried me on a anti psychotic, needless to say I got very sick.. was terrible.

  • @cwlbinch
    @cwlbinch 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    I fully understand what you are saying. However I need guidance on how to tackle core fears. There's the famous serenity poem, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Can this attitude of mind rip them out of the ground?. I am really pleased you have turned your life around.

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +cwlbinch Learning to accept things you can't change is always useful. Death is certainly something that can't be changed.

    • @NewBlueType
      @NewBlueType 9 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Mark Freeman How do we know that it can't be changed? That's my problem. :/

    • @everybodyhasabrain
      @everybodyhasabrain  9 ปีที่แล้ว

      +NewBlueType A question that might be useful to ask: Is trying to change it or be certain about it something that's helping you live your life?

  • @chad4149
    @chad4149 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I tried some of your help and overcome a couple if not 3 big ones.The cloud theory and the root is also something is something I got from a pychotic episode to do with a lady.she effects those around her.