I was crying from anxiety and opened the video, just to see you in the exact same situation and feeling. It made me feel less alone in this, like you said. So thank you
I know when a bad day is coming on and my room is getting messier and messier and the laundry pile gets bigger and bigger and at some point I stop. I make my bed. I get up and organize the piles. I take out the trash and start the laundry. I clean everything spotlessly. I eat my favorite meal. I take a shower or a bath. I put on a face mask. I eat some Ben & Jerry's and drink some hot tea while I watch my favorite movie. These are the things that get me back. I can totally identify with this struggle of losing your grip and grappling with your surroundings, tugging at anything to bring you back. What a journey.
Liv Herdman I have been attempting all day long. I got some laundry done yesterday and took out the trash. Now I'm laying on a freshly made bed . And feeling a little better. On to the little piles.
You are so brave for sharing this. Been going through the same thing and its indeed really hard. Stay strong Estee! You can do it. Sending you hugs. Love you!
Look how much you have grown in these five years. How much stronger you became and how beautiful you looked at bathing, and that became the foundation of your business now. Watching yourself in the water for self-healing. Water becomes a mirror to see your own reflection... with love from Halifax Xx
This is my favourite video you have ever made Estee.. it hurts to see you cry, but it makes me feel so much more normal when I have these anxious and depressed moments. How you work through it and how real and honest you are… it’s so inspiring. Thank you Estee!
This was just SO refreshing to watch babe. At home vlogs are my favourite to watch but sometimes I struggle watching people who look like they constantly have their shit together and it ends up making me feel bad instead of what the opposite of TH-cam should be doing (making you feel less alone and inspired). This made me feel both of those things so deeply, I hope you feel less alone by these words because you are such an inspiration to me and I hope you have a better week next week! You are amazing and I adore you and your strength! Love you Estee xxx
Aw estee the thumbnail broke my heart! You are so strong, and such a beautiful human inside and out! I struggle with anxiety too, I just focus on putting one foot in front of the other and being happy over small accomplishments.
I'm crying with you, just thought I'd let you know. When I see others going through similar things that I go through it really hurts me and touches my soul and makes me feel I'm not alone. Thank you so much for doing this, you are so strong and brave for showing a vulnerable and raw side to yourself. ❤❤❤
Hi Estee, this video has touched my heart in so many levels... I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks since i'm 16 (25 now) and i've been through some dark times where I really felt alone and that no one understood what I was going through. I'm happy that you posted this video because it's good to know that we are not alone and that living with anxiety is possible and you just need to find out what works for you and what makes you feel better. there are good days and bad days where your head can take you to places you've never imagined, but it's important to remember that it WILL pass, you WILL get through this hard period and it doesn't last forever. My dog and I send you lots of love, keep up with the good work
Girl, please read this. As someone whose anxiety also affects my eating, when you said you'd lost weight I wondered if it had to do with all the big and scary changes in your life recently. If that's the case, please please please don't let the positive feedback about how your body has changed persuade you that not eating is good. I went through a breakup once, stopped eating and reached a low weight and everyone thought it was great, complimented me and such and it reinforced a belief that weight loss even through disordered and restrictive eating was good and okay, and that eventually snowballed into a full-blown eating disorder. Weight loss is not always good, or connected to positive events. I know you've been feeling yourself, and I'm so glad to see anyone loving their body, but please don't ever ever think that you shouldn't eat or that not eating is a healthy coping mechanism. I get that sometimes it's not conscious and you're just not hungry or too anxious to eat, but for a lot of people that's how it starts, and they end up using that to restrict. It's such a slippery slope. Don't forget your self worth exists regardless of your weight, size, diet or eating habits. You deserve to eat. I love you and I hope this isn't too preachy. Hang in there, and don't forget that in so very many ways, you're absolutely killing it. xoxo
THIS! So so true and very well said. A friend of mine went through almost the same thing as you did and she's currently in therapy to treat her eating disorder and anxiety after a break up, I think this is something that's way more common than we think. Hope that you are feeling better now, Patty!
I have been watching you since the very beginning. I have loved your realness and strength in your videos these last few months. I truly believe mental health is so important to discuss for so many reasons. Thank you so much for sharing your heart because it helps many know they are not alone. ❤️
After a breakup ....I had the worst anxiety...depression and generally felt tormented by my thoughts. Hang in Estee....it will get better. I cried in my car a lunch for 6 months....a real shit show let me tell you!! I threw myself into reformer Pilates and never looked back. Rose quartz and black tourmaline help too. Wore them in my bra. You will be just fine....give yourself time and grace.
Thank you , thank you, really, thank you.... thank you for telling me I'm not the only one thank you for being brave to upload this video just thank you
not being able to get a grip, feeling fearful for no apparent reason, crying, panicking; it does make you feel like you’re going mad, I have been going through similar crapola and think it a positive thing to share your experience for exactly the reasons you said, so everyone going through similar experiences know they aren’t alone - it’s made me feel better!! Much love 💛
"Vulnerability is the best measure of courage" Brene Brown wisely said once. Estee, you're amazing for doing this. Thank you for sharing what's real and helping others feel relatable and like they're not alone... Big big hug. We're all in this together.
It’s really refreshing to see her be open and vulnerable. It’s very relatable. We all need to know we are not alone in the struggle. I’m glad she is helping remove the stigma of mental health by talking about it. I’ve never seen this human side of her and it draws me to her.
Estee, healing is not linear, so there are moments, days or weeks spent in the trenches. But these waves of grief, loneliness, and fear subside. As you continue your self care, there will be so much more light and love. Sharing your journey and steps to healing helps me in my healing, so thank you!
Self care is #1 in my life, when it comes to my anxiety. I have a husband and 2 kids and it’s a crazy wonderful life, but also so draining and overwhelming at times. I have struggled all my life with anxiety and depression. People need to talk about the “sides we don’t show” more often. I have learned that you can be surrounded by people and feel more alone then you ever thought possible. It is so important to me when I start to feel down or withdrawn to try a little something just for me. It redirects my thoughts of loneliness or “not good enough” to “you are enough” and makes me want to intentionally involved with the people around me. Keep up the great work of sharing and promoting self love 💕
I think it's a good moment to share one of my favourite quotes with you: "HAVING A SOFT HEART IN A CRUEL WORLD IS COURAGE, NOT WEAKNESS". These words helped me accept my sadness and believe I'm strong, even though I am sad. 🎀🌹💓
Thank you so much for this, I've watched you for years and used to comment on every video - life has gotten busier but it's SO unbelievably nice to come back to your videos and have it feel like 'home' again. I watched this vlog and felt so welcome and so at home! Thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments, it truly does make such a difference! x
oh my heart. Seeing you cry makes me cry because this all hits home for me. You are so brave and such a badass! Thank you for sharing and never forget you are strong and courageous!
Thank you for sharing something so personal 💙 I have dealt with chronic depression and anxiety for so many years. It’s so nice to see something so real and vulnerable on social media, where we mostly see a person’s highlight reel. Sending you love!
So many people on social media only show the good parts, so the ones who are depressed or getting depressed think so many of those people are 100% happy. This makes life so much more real! I know this will help me and anyone else. Thanks for sharing.
Estée!! :) :) I've been watching you for at least 4 years and so in a weirdly wonderful way, you feel like a good friend of mine. Seeing you open up, cry and be vulnerable and honest with us, it touched my heart! Thank you for sharing this video. It's so important and beautiful. Sending love your way :)
Estée, you've been my favorite youtuber to watch for years- like way, way back to when you were originally growing out your blonde hair like 5 or 6 years ago. But this is the most honest and open I feel you've been publicly and I am so proud of you. I am in my last year of medical school and I'm studying to be a psychiatrist. Things like this and the changing stigma of mental health make me so excited and happy to soon be part of helping people feel better and grow. Thank you so much for being brave and sharing.
This made me cry so hard. Estee, you are strong. You are so complex and fierce and sensitive. I have had really awful anxiety from leaving an abusive place in Sept 2017 and it's been almost a year and somedays I can't even leave my apt or leave my couch in my apt. I totally feel for you. Love Reggie, yoga, your crystals (!), love your job, love music, love tea, love your friends and family. Keep rooted in those things when you feel so down you can't move. I love playing calm music really really loud and sitting around in my face PJs after some nice 'me time' to make me feel better. Sending good vibes to you ❤️ Shamiana
I came back to watch this video while having a panic attack and it helped SO much to calm me. I just wanted you to know that you had such a helpful and positive impact on someone today. Thanks for sharing your true self and helping others babe. xo
I spent 10 years trying to cope with undiagnosed anxiety & depression - I just thought I was overreacting all the time to life. Finally got a diagnosis and treatment and my life has completely changed. Taking medication, seeing a psychologist, changing up my diet, excercising and having a wonderful support system of family and friends was what helped me. A wholistic approach. I haven't experienced a panic attack in over a year now. Watching this brought back so many memories, and I can totally relate. It does get better. Hugs xx
ESTEE....Im 52, you have saved me! Yoga with Adrienne as per your recommendation has truly helped me open up mentally and physically.I too suffer with anxiety/depression, but yoga is helping me. Thank you for being you x
Sun Flower I'm 53 and the last three years have been torture. First the anxiety and then the depression. The depression is aweful, feeling like you are going to cry at the drop of a hat...afraid to go out....it's devastating.
Chee C - I feel your pain I really do. Have you entered the menopause as all these ups and down with the hormones dont help our thoughts and feelings? I personally dont take any medications or see a therapist so it can be tough and lonely at times. These past 21 days I commenced yoga with Adrienne and its really helping me physically and mentally to slow down. I've stopped all my other more intense forms of aerobic exercise and focusing totally coming to my yoga mat every morning. Do you do yoga? If not, maybe give it a try.
Sun Flower Hi, I entered menopause at 51. I try to use only natural supplements. Hormones certainly are tricky! Every minute of everyday is a mood swing. It's exhausting. My head is just all over the place...forgetfulness, crying, anger..... 😓
You've gained my upmost respect for showing your vulnerable side. I can totally relate as a sufferer of anxiety and depression . Got so bad I had to go on antidepressants a couple of times . Self care is key . You're doing all the right things . Love and light to you ...Claire x
such an honest reminder that we're not alone in feeling how we feel, that anxiety and depression can be in the lives of any person - thanks for sharing such a vulnerable side
Honestly? I know a lot of people also have anxiety and depression and as much as I don't wish it on anyone, it's really comforting to watch videos like that. I feel less crazy. Especially considering you're a woman having most (hehe) of your life together that we can look up to. Feels like I'm not totally a lost case ♡ So thank you. Sending a hug and positivity your way ♡
I hate to see anyone cry and without sounding awful, I honestly feel like the old Estee is back but in a great way. It looks like you've really found yourself recently and when you changed up your channel a few years ago I didn't enjoy the content anymore, but recently I've been coming back more and more. You seem so 'you' again! Plus your TAN and hair looks incredible! 👍😍
I can’t even explain how much this video means to me. I wish there were more TH-camrs who show these parts of their lives. That’s why I also started making videos about my eating disorder and Lyme. It’s SO hard to find relatable people on social media and Estee, we’re all rooting for you.❤️ Please share more of these kind of videos.
What’s beautiful about this: Honesty and humility. We often feel pressured to hide or masque our emotions because of an industry or stigmas. I’ve had panic anxiety for over 8 years and when I was going through it the worst I had no one that could relate. What helped me was Yoga also. It connects you to something so much higher than the thought of anxiety. You can do anything and I thank you for being honest and showing us that we aren’t alone too. Sending you hugs from busy New York ♥️
You are so strong. Being upset and showing it is not something you ashamed. Your video will help too many people having anxiety or depression like me. Thank you to share your feelings.
Anxiety and Depression: It feels like you're suffocating and trying to swim at the same time. You aren't alone and I know it feels like you, I think everyone who has Anxiety or Depression or both feels that way sometimes, but you aren't and things like this reminds me that I am not alone and I am so grateful that you put yourself out there likes this. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, because it reminds me I am not alone and neither are you!
The more depression and anxiety is discussed by brave souls like yourself the less of a stigma this disease will have. I have my little tricks to prevent or reduce feeling anxious or whatever and self care is huge! It’s a form of self love when we often don’t feel it. I’m into the Korean many many steps routines, it’s a calming ritual I’m constantly researching, developing and using western products too. This has helped me find a real creative hobby. There’s so much research on the use of scent so I bought a humidifier ( great for the skin) and key essential oils, this works for me. I’m learning to beat my pre frontal cortex, it’s fucking hard but I know learning these small new habits, reading Tolle and others, writing in my gratitude journal every morning whether I’m thankful or not is progress. You talking to us I’m grateful for.
I didn’t even get into a full minute of this video before liking it. Sweetie, first off, never apologize for expressing your emotions, words can’t describe how proud I am that you posted this, I’ve recently been diagnosed with mild to moderate depression, and I have had severe anxiety most of my life at least for as long as I can comprehend. We are never alone, and we should never be ashamed to express. I, as I’m sure along with many others, take mental health very seriously, it’s real, it’s there, it’s an issue, and we need to talk about it. And I find it great that you’re giving tips and advice on how you deal with it, and hopefully it will help others :). Anyways dear, each day is a step forward, no matter what our day consists of, remember this. I hope we all find inner peace, and become stronger each day in controlling and dealing with this! And hello to Reggie! 🐾💕
💯. I’m a therapist and people often put of seeking someone because they think it’s means they’re “crazy”, but talking with a professional helps put things into perspective and you realize you’re anything but crazy. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 all the hearts for being so real.
I agree. Masks and hot beverages are nice, but when I'm having an anxiety attack, they do diddly squat. Talking to a professional about tried and true methods of healing and coping is ESSENTIAL!
Diana Alvarez I got in touch with a therapist but put it off cause I know I'm not super bad at the moment and didn't want to talk over some of the things that caused it. Still undecided! Comments on here are tempting me.
Estée, I am here with you for several years, and it feels like I know you somehow. And during this time I went through the main stages of your life with you. Seing you cry makes me cry, it really makes me emotional. You are not alone. And you ARE such an amazing and inspiring young woman! Please, hold on. Hold on. Huuuge warm hugs from all of my heart.
I read the chapter in Bloom about your depression and anxiety literally the same morning I had FINALLY gotten my booty to a psychologist and got on some much needed medication. I've turned my life around, and you played a part in my story. I felt so much shame getting help, but reading that you had been there helped me so, so much. You have been such a light in my life, and I've looked to you countless times for that extra dose of strength when I need it (especially since I've just moved to the U.K. from the U.S. with my British husband, and suffering major homesickness). I know it's tough to share these parts of your life, but thank you. It's your strength, not your weakness. I hope this can uplift you a bit and give you some of that connection that you've given to so many yourself. Sending all my love!
I'm so glad you decided to post this. So many people, younger people especially, don't realize how common these feelings are. That it happens to us all. That they are not alone. I went through a period of depression and remember being angry at myself, for not being able to "get it together", feeling like I was crazy or something was wrong with me. So thank you. Sending light your way!
You are preaching to the choir here girl. I'm right there with you. I've been in the trenches for the last few months. It's tough and I understand. I had to bury my husband 6 yrs ago Aug 2nd. Loneliness is my best friend. I'm so sorry to see you crying. Just know that you have a lot going for you. And it will be ok. Getting out doing things. Anything. Helps so much. Sending love and good thoughts your way❤️
Writing this reply while crying. I cant share my personal marital issue im dealing rn but i wish i could hug you! loneliness seem to be my bestfriend as well. sending you love from Indonesia ❤️
I am 19 and i have suffered from severe anxiety and depression my whole life too! I'm constantly convincing myself I will never make it into the "real" adult world and wont be able to have success or keep a job or function on my own. Seeing you be vulnerable and thrive and have so much success makes me realize I'm wrong and that I will survive. You are so many people's older sister on here, thank you for posting this. Thank you thank you thank you!! i love you so much!
Hey Katie, your an amazing woman and you can do it!! If you don’t or haven’t maybe consider talking to someone about how your feeling never feel you cannot talk about how you feel :)
andrea summers hi andrea! i have been taking medication for a very long time! it has made things extremely better, but i still suffer from episodes often because medication can only do so much 😊 thank you!
hi stephen! i have gone on and off with therapy because it takes a very large toll on me and it is difficult since I go to school. I am lucky to be surrounded by friends at school who understand and are willing to listen though, and that has been so immensely helpful. Thank you for your kind words!
Be strong Estee. I know what it feels like. Work on it. Never give up. You're worth it. Don't worry, everything's going to be alright. We love you all.
I find it so impressive to see the strengths you show recentering yourself, the steps taken to show kindness and acceptance in order to heal. It reminded me to take active decisions about self care, to unclench the tightness I have in my chest and shoulders. To take care of myself. I wish you well on your journey to health and happiness
I suffer from anxiety too! I am here for you dear! You don't have to go through it alone no more! God bless you and love you so much and big hugs to you too!
Rose Lyons Well, it’s just not a good idea putting personal information online where literally anyone has access to it. You could be opening your personal email to less good-intentioned people who may be watching this video and could write to you to bother you or use your email for their personal interests. I think your sentiment is very noble but don’t expose yourself like this. It’s not just Estee who can see your email, it’s literally anyone.
I couldn't stop crying from the beginning of the video. I'm WITH you and will support you, always. You're NOT alone! Keep being who you are, because you're truly amazing! Sending love & hugs. 💙
I love this so much. I decided a few months ago that I did not want to be dependent on medication to handle my anxiety and depression, and it has been a very long adjustment. Just this past weekend something minor happened that threw off my plans and it has had me in a funk that I can’t seem to snap out of. I love seeing someone emphasize the importance of taking care of yourself and spending time doing things that might not be “productive” in the interest of healing. People who don’t suffer from these things need to understand how difficult it can be sometimes just to live a normal life. Keep up the realness please. Also Reggie is the cutest
This video saves lives! The day I watched this I had come home from work but cried the whole way home, got my dog and curled up in bed then went to TH-cam to try to just get my mind to switch lanes, and this video was up. I cried with you & totally understand your feels. Sending you all the love & laughs & dog cuddles in the world 😘😘😘
Gotta say this is my favorite video you have done in a very long time. It made you so real and down to earth just like the rest of us. I don’t mean this in the wrong way but sometimes in your videos you come out a little full of yourself. I love this video, I can relate to what you’re going through on so many levels. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share it. Sending you lots of positive vibes 💕
Estee, i am one of the silent follower that has been watching your videos for years and almost never commented. I am so so thankful that you got to share this with us. I am going through a tough time myself and thanks to recent events and stress, my anxiety spiked up and my life got a bit complicated lately. I am trying to rebalance too and it is working and i am so so happy. I wanted also to say that It breaks my heart watching this and reading that so many people are going through this because no one should feel like that. Remember that you (all) are not alone. You have the strenght to go through this inside you.
Sometimes with anxiety you just feel like will this ever end... but remember the good days to pull you through the bad days that you can get through it. Its been a struggle for me for many years and sometimes it does just creep up on you. Sending love & strength. xxx
Thank you from sharing your émotions with us, it takes a lot of courage but it’s also therapeutic. I’ve been watching your videos for years, I never commented or tried to interact but today I wanted to tell you that you aren’t alone. I’m 38 and have been struggling with depression and anxiety for 30 years; it isn’t easy but we must find and develop ways and routines that comfort us. Stay strong, you are beautiful inside and out. Don’t hesitate if you feel like chatting. Emilie, a subscriber from Switzerland
This is going to sound really stupid, but this was really reassuring and lovely to watch? I’m not the only one who cries whenever I even try to talk about anxiety. I’m not the only one who struggles with maintaining a tidy environment when I’m in a bad head space. I’m not the only one who struggles with food when I’m depressed. I am so sorry you were having a bad time, but thank you so much for sharing this with us. 💙
This is exactly what I needed, you are so strong and I’ve been a viewer for longer than I can remember! I always always always look up to you 😭 you are so wonderful thank you for showing empathy and vulnerability
You're an inspiration sweetie 💕 You have helped alot of people with this video.When someone finds out, that it's not just them, but many others that can feel this way,it helps. If you're struggling with unhappiness, seek help from someone in your community , no one should suffer in silence.
you are so RAW. not a lot of people share this part of their lives, but we viewers want to see this part too, because we know noone is perfect. For a person who struggles with depression it is so hard to keep positive and try not to spread negativity around you and act like everything is okay. I felt so much better watching this and knowing that I'm alone and that a lot of people have their downs. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Much love, Estee! My teens and 20s were riddled with depression and anxiety. It felt like the deepest pit of despair that I would never be able to climb out of. I was a young mom and wife in my 20s and I fought through it just as much for them as I did for myself. My 30s have been amazing. I'm now 33 and feel better than I can ever remember. Keep fighting for the woman you are becoming. She is so worth it!! The start of this blog was so painful to watch. I'm an empathetic and watching someone fighting through what i know all too well was so painful. Thank you for sharing and encouraging others. I think depression and anxiety are so much more prevalent than we realize. I hope you have a lovely week!
The past 12 months have been a big transition for you in life. Thank you for sharing, so important to speak out loud and share the moment or share the hard on the head days. 🐕🇨🇦💄😋 I see Mary and I hear "oh hi babes" 😘
I've been watching your videos for what feels like forever. Year and a half ago I've been diagnosed with T1D that caused a severe depression I've been dealing with for months.Watching your videos has been a thing that always lifted me up and brought me strenth to move forward. I strongly believe that you are a fighter and I thank you for that. Love you with all my heart❤
Excellent example of checking in on yourself, being gentle with yourself, and taking time to recenter through self care. Loved it. I will definitely use this with my clients to show how what we talk about in therapy looks in real life! Thanks Estee!
Love you, Estee. I’m sending peaceful vibes across the pond from Tx to you. You are not alone in this and thank you for posting such a real blog. It’s hard to let people in to see our lowest moments. All women are sisters, and this Southern sister is here for you! You are a strong, intelligent wonderful woman and I really admire you for showing your struggles. “It can’t rain all the time.” Whenever I’m down I look down at that quote from the movie, The Crow, which I had tattooed on the inside of my forearm. It is a great reminder that the sun will come out at some point, and that the gloomy grayness will indeed pass. Love you!
Cried whilst you were crying cause I just GET it. Thanks so much for posting this - just seeing others be in the same scenario makes you feel so much less isolated and I think this video will help so many people. So glad you’re feeling more positive and sending all the positive vibes your way
Right after watching this video, I had a wonderful chat with my mom in the car about anxiety and depression because we both have been clinically diagnosed with it. She said the same thing you did, depression is REAL. And medicine is helpful and it’s something that some people really don’t believe it or think it’s self induced and it’s really not. I told my mom “people always ask me how I can be depressed when I’m always so happy all the time, and I have to respond with it’s easier pretending than to have to explain why I’m sad because I genuinely don’t know. I just AM. I just am sad sometimes and I can’t help it.” And she said she couldn’t agree more. It’s exhausting but knowing we aren’t going through things alone is very refreshing and I’m so grateful that I have someone who I not only enjoy watching on TH-cam but also believes in medicine and also therapeutic and spiritual remedies too. Thank you for this.
So grateful for this video. Currently experiencing the worst pit of my anxiety and feeling very helpless, but seeing others deal with the same feelings is so comforting. Sending hope and healing your way. We got this!!!
I had this issue for my entire life, but it is almost 75% under control when I do not eat sugar (including things that turn into sugar, including bread). The rest is all yoga, walking, dog snuggles and time with friends and family. Not posting to be judgemental, because what works for one person may not work for another, but good mental health begins in the gut. Eat to nourish the body and mind. I hope you are feeling better xx
I fucking love you, and we all need this realness right now. I've suffered from anxiety and depression for YEARS, and I've always seen you as this incredible woman. Which I still do. But I couldn't imagine that you felt this way, even more than occasionally, even when you alluded to mental health stuff. Probably because so often, when it comes to TH-camrs, "influencers", etc., we don't "see" it. And that makes sense, of course. You deserve privacy and a private life and you are entitled to share or not share exactly as much as you want.. But I'm so grateful you shared this. Because you crying on that screen is my reality a lot of the time, and the fact that I've seen how you live on your other vlogs, and what you're able to do when you push through it, and all of those things...is frankly more inspiring to me than probably anything has been since I first picked up a Cheryl Strayed book. Sorry for rambling, but thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable for those of us who can really, really see this and not only see how you really struggle, but look at that and all of the other parts of you and see what we too can do in the face of these really hard things.
So many of the people who talk about mental health on this platform and others do so looking perfectly polished and it's a little hard to relate to when you're really going through it in the moment. Seeing it, from someone I admire this much, is so powerful. I hope you keep this up, because I know this will help me be strong on days I can and bring me comfort on those I have a harder time.
I would say this video helps bridge the gap between a viewer and an influencer, everyone has bad days and its good to know its okay to have them. Life is not 'Instagram' friendly all the time, thank you to Estee for showing this.
Please see a Therapist. No stigma - just someone to talk to with no judgement that is not part of your everyday life. It will help. I realize you can talk to friends/mom - but a professional will help with some strategies.
Hi Estée, this was me yesterday, crying at work all day and I couldn’t help it, it just happens and you don’t know what to do and then you start feeling worst, I have never see you so vulnerable on a video but you can do this, girl. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for putting yourself out there for us to see. I also suffer from depression and anxiety for 20 years now. Sometimes it hard to show people what’s going on inside you, but you are not alone. We love you and hope this video helped you as much as it helped us.
Estee always have a heeling power to me. Back when she was button, I was in a depression/anxiety state and her video always calm me. I cannot feel it for a while but now this feeling comes back!
I can see the pain and discomfort in your eyes. Thanks for posting this and being strong. There are so many people on you tube that will post similar videos for the views but I can see 100% this is you and your pain. You are not alone as many of us often feel. And by the way, how are you still beautiful and glowing, girl my ugly cry is full on UGLY! Keep strong lady, you are major strength goals xx
My favorite video of yours ever. Authentic and real. I struggle with anxiety and depression and seeing people talk about it in a real way is refreshing. Thanks for sharing.
Estee, I can definitely relate. Sometimes I feel like I'm made of glass, fragile and exposed. I'm very guilty of doing the complete opposite of what I should do to care for myself. Watching you go through your routines and healing processes reminded me of how I should be caring for myself, about how much those small kindnesses towards ourselves go such a long way. I wish you peace and health and all good things. Thank you for sharing this with the world xx
Aww darling. Anxiety is Soo common. I realized even more when all of my participants to the yoga retreat mentioned in their application that they were struggling with it. I send you a lot of love and if you are looking for a wellness week, I'd love to have you join the group 💟 Yoga is not just about keeping up with the flow. It's about listening to your body and you did just that 🎆🙏
Oooh girl I’ve been coming back to your channel recently and updated myself on what’s been going on since I’ve been gone. And you have me crying on the couch slow hot tears. I grew up with you and I truly hurt for you. Good will come your way and peace will come. Much love. Stay true to yourself
I never comment on videos and I know you probably won't get this message but... thank you so so so much for bravely sharing this video. As someone who has been struggling with severe anxiety combined with feelings of alienation and loneliness, I can't express how helpful this video is. You have made me realise that I am not the only one and that perhaps there are people out there that understand. I enjoyed seeing your self care routine and I'm very glad you were feeling better by the end. It was a great reminder of the importance of taking time out for ourselves. Sending my love to you, Estee 💕
This was so relatable..I’m in the same boat with anxiety/ depression. I feel like my anxiety started when the whole social media took over and everything became so “perfect” it’s a weird coincidence. It’s so hard sometimes I have good days and I have very bad emotional and just overall down days..
Holy shit.....anxiety don't care about good looks! 😔 And I was ugly lol but...I didn't know all the gorgeous women who suffer so badly from their issues....but you know. I'm proof you can dig yourself out of the hole successfully....it's tough as hell yes. But it can be done...x
even though I know for sure there must be people who experience anxiety and depression,I tend to forget when I´m in that moment and I just feel like I´m all alone in this. But I´m not. So thank you for reminding me that and for the tips to cheer myself up :) I love your content so much.
You wonderful brave woman 🙏🏻 You have no idea how inspiring you are.... You are not alone with your anxiety and depression... There are so many of us out there...just follow your path and continue your spiritual journey.... and never forget: Univers has your back 🙏🏻❤️ Yoga is a life philosophy.... it’s an inside journey.... it’s not about flexibility.... one day you will rock that warrior and the next day you will barely be able to stand on your feet... Darling, it’s OK! I’m teaching yoga and I keep repeating this in my classes over and over again... Remember that God or Universe (whatever resonates with you) will never give you a lesson you can’t handle... you’ve got this girl! Straight roads never lead to a beautiful destination.... sending you loads of love ❤️ , Željka
Estée you're such a lovely human being! Thank you for showing this side of your life. It helps others to know they're not alone. My one word of advice (which I know you receive many), I truly believe everyone needs to see a therapist at some point in time in their life. Whether you're feeling you're highest of highs or lowest of lows it helps to talk to a non-judgemental professional in a very safe space. I encourage everyone to try to find a therapist and to try to find one that fits with you! Sending lots of love and hugs!
I was crying from anxiety and opened the video, just to see you in the exact same situation and feeling. It made me feel less alone in this, like you said. So thank you
Right anxiety not only makes me stress myself out but I cry a lot even at family events.
Same
I know when a bad day is coming on and my room is getting messier and messier and the laundry pile gets bigger and bigger and at some point I stop. I make my bed. I get up and organize the piles. I take out the trash and start the laundry. I clean everything spotlessly. I eat my favorite meal. I take a shower or a bath. I put on a face mask. I eat some Ben & Jerry's and drink some hot tea while I watch my favorite movie. These are the things that get me back. I can totally identify with this struggle of losing your grip and grappling with your surroundings, tugging at anything to bring you back. What a journey.
Catherine Leimberg me today. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. Hopefully it will be cooler tomorrow so I can sort my room.
Liv Herdman I have been attempting all day long. I got some laundry done yesterday and took out the trash. Now I'm laying on a freshly made bed . And feeling a little better. On to the little piles.
Catherine Leimberg one step at a time
I never thought about that or even noticed it, but i am acting the same! Its crazy, perhaps it will help me :)
Same!!! To a T.
You are so brave for sharing this. Been going through the same thing and its indeed really hard. Stay strong Estee! You can do it. Sending you hugs. Love you!
Raych Ramos me too! This was amazing timing!
i totally get it- and i shared on my channel about my struggle too and it is so draining- i applaud you
Look how much you have grown in these five years. How much stronger you became and how beautiful you looked at bathing, and that became the foundation of your business now. Watching yourself in the water for self-healing. Water becomes a mirror to see your own reflection... with love from Halifax Xx
This is my favourite video you have ever made Estee.. it hurts to see you cry, but it makes me feel so much more normal when I have these anxious and depressed moments. How you work through it and how real and honest you are… it’s so inspiring. Thank you Estee!
This was just SO refreshing to watch babe. At home vlogs are my favourite to watch but sometimes I struggle watching people who look like they constantly have their shit together and it ends up making me feel bad instead of what the opposite of TH-cam should be doing (making you feel less alone and inspired). This made me feel both of those things so deeply, I hope you feel less alone by these words because you are such an inspiration to me and I hope you have a better week next week! You are amazing and I adore you and your strength! Love you Estee xxx
Ash Owens omg I feel the exact same way!
YES! This.
Feel same way❤️
Anxiety and depression are real, its nice to see real people crying, I know Im not the only one feeling bad.
Aw estee the thumbnail broke my heart! You are so strong, and such a beautiful human inside and out! I struggle with anxiety too, I just focus on putting one foot in front of the other and being happy over small accomplishments.
I'm crying with you, just thought I'd let you know. When I see others going through similar things that I go through it really hurts me and touches my soul and makes me feel I'm not alone. Thank you so much for doing this, you are so strong and brave for showing a vulnerable and raw side to yourself. ❤❤❤
Hi Estee,
this video has touched my heart in so many levels...
I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks since i'm 16 (25 now) and i've been through some dark times where I really felt alone and that no one understood what I was going through. I'm happy that you posted this video because it's good to know that we are not alone and that living with anxiety is possible and you just need to find out what works for you and what makes you feel better. there are good days and bad days where your head can take you to places you've never imagined, but it's important to remember that it WILL pass, you WILL get through this hard period and it doesn't last forever. My dog and I send you lots of love, keep up with the good work
Girl, please read this. As someone whose anxiety also affects my eating, when you said you'd lost weight I wondered if it had to do with all the big and scary changes in your life recently. If that's the case, please please please don't let the positive feedback about how your body has changed persuade you that not eating is good. I went through a breakup once, stopped eating and reached a low weight and everyone thought it was great, complimented me and such and it reinforced a belief that weight loss even through disordered and restrictive eating was good and okay, and that eventually snowballed into a full-blown eating disorder. Weight loss is not always good, or connected to positive events. I know you've been feeling yourself, and I'm so glad to see anyone loving their body, but please don't ever ever think that you shouldn't eat or that not eating is a healthy coping mechanism. I get that sometimes it's not conscious and you're just not hungry or too anxious to eat, but for a lot of people that's how it starts, and they end up using that to restrict. It's such a slippery slope. Don't forget your self worth exists regardless of your weight, size, diet or eating habits. You deserve to eat. I love you and I hope this isn't too preachy. Hang in there, and don't forget that in so very many ways, you're absolutely killing it. xoxo
THIS! So so true and very well said. A friend of mine went through almost the same thing as you did and she's currently in therapy to treat her eating disorder and anxiety after a break up, I think this is something that's way more common than we think. Hope that you are feeling better now, Patty!
Totally, and thanks girl, I am doing really well now
I have been watching you since the very beginning. I have loved your realness and strength in your videos these last few months. I truly believe mental health is so important to discuss for so many reasons. Thank you so much for sharing your heart because it helps many know they are not alone. ❤️
This has been so comforting to watch, I want to thank you. Because I felt alone feeling so uncomfortable and stressed most of the time
After a breakup ....I had the worst anxiety...depression and generally felt tormented by my thoughts. Hang in Estee....it will get better. I cried in my car a lunch for 6 months....a real shit show let me tell you!! I threw myself into reformer Pilates and never looked back. Rose quartz and black tourmaline help too. Wore them in my bra. You will be just fine....give yourself time and grace.
Tiffanie Tyler same i was in serious depression for almost two years
Tiffanie Tyler wow you are amazing🙌. It's hard to strip down an issue for what it is and you have great tips!!!!!!
Thank you , thank you, really,
thank you....
thank you for telling me I'm not the only one
thank you for being brave to upload this video
just
thank you
not being able to get a grip, feeling fearful for no apparent reason, crying, panicking; it does make you feel like you’re going mad, I have been going through similar crapola and think it a positive thing to share your experience for exactly the reasons you said, so everyone going through similar experiences know they aren’t alone - it’s made me feel better!! Much love 💛
Everyone deals with this. Not many are willing to talk about it. You have just helped so many people by reminding them that they are not alone ❤
"Vulnerability is the best measure of courage" Brene Brown wisely said once.
Estee, you're amazing for doing this. Thank you for sharing what's real and helping others feel relatable and like they're not alone... Big big hug. We're all in this together.
It’s really refreshing to see her be open and vulnerable. It’s very relatable. We all need to know we are not alone in the struggle. I’m glad she is helping remove the stigma of mental health by talking about it. I’ve never seen this human side of her and it draws me to her.
Megan R Oh exactly « relatable » is the word I was searching! That’s exactly what makes this video so fragile and positive
Estee, healing is not linear, so there are moments, days or weeks spent in the trenches. But these waves of grief, loneliness, and fear subside. As you continue your self care, there will be so much more light and love. Sharing your journey and steps to healing helps me in my healing, so thank you!
Self care is #1 in my life, when it comes to my anxiety. I have a husband and 2 kids and it’s a crazy wonderful life, but also so draining and overwhelming at times. I have struggled all my life with anxiety and depression. People need to talk about the “sides we don’t show” more often. I have learned that you can be surrounded by people and feel more alone then you ever thought possible. It is so important to me when I start to feel down or withdrawn to try a little something just for me. It redirects my thoughts of loneliness or “not good enough” to “you are enough” and makes me want to intentionally involved with the people around me. Keep up the great work of sharing and promoting self love 💕
I think it's a good moment to share one of my favourite quotes with you: "HAVING A SOFT HEART IN A CRUEL WORLD IS COURAGE, NOT WEAKNESS". These words helped me accept my sadness and believe I'm strong, even though I am sad. 🎀🌹💓
Kinga N.K. 💕💕
This quote spoke to my soul! I was scrolling the comments and I’m so glad I saw this one.
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for this, I've watched you for years and used to comment on every video - life has gotten busier but it's SO unbelievably nice to come back to your videos and have it feel like 'home' again. I watched this vlog and felt so welcome and so at home! Thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments, it truly does make such a difference! x
Very well said Meg! You are such a sweetheart. Looking forward to your next video!
I love seeing my favourite TH-camrs supporting each other!! Well said, Meg x
oh my heart. Seeing you cry makes me cry because this all hits home for me. You are so brave and such a badass! Thank you for sharing and never forget you are strong and courageous!
Thank you for sharing something so personal 💙 I have dealt with chronic depression and anxiety for so many years. It’s so nice to see something so real and vulnerable on social media, where we mostly see a person’s highlight reel. Sending you love!
So many people on social media only show the good parts, so the ones who are depressed or getting depressed think so many of those people are 100% happy. This makes life so much more real! I know this will help me and anyone else. Thanks for sharing.
Estée!! :) :) I've been watching you for at least 4 years and so in a weirdly wonderful way, you feel like a good friend of mine. Seeing you open up, cry and be vulnerable and honest with us, it touched my heart! Thank you for sharing this video. It's so important and beautiful. Sending love your way :)
I agree with this. I definitely feel like we are friends even though she has no idea about me in any way! Weird, right?
Julia miss Goolia yeah it’s weird for sure haha!! Glad I’m not alone ;)
Estée, you've been my favorite youtuber to watch for years- like way, way back to when you were originally growing out your blonde hair like 5 or 6 years ago. But this is the most honest and open I feel you've been publicly and I am so proud of you. I am in my last year of medical school and I'm studying to be a psychiatrist. Things like this and the changing stigma of mental health make me so excited and happy to soon be part of helping people feel better and grow. Thank you so much for being brave and sharing.
This made me cry so hard. Estee, you are strong. You are so complex and fierce and sensitive. I have had really awful anxiety from leaving an abusive place in Sept 2017 and it's been almost a year and somedays I can't even leave my apt or leave my couch in my apt. I totally feel for you. Love Reggie, yoga, your crystals (!), love your job, love music, love tea, love your friends and family. Keep rooted in those things when you feel so down you can't move. I love playing calm music really really loud and sitting around in my face PJs after some nice 'me time' to make me feel better. Sending good vibes to you ❤️ Shamiana
I came back to watch this video while having a panic attack and it helped SO much to calm me. I just wanted you to know that you had such a helpful and positive impact on someone today. Thanks for sharing your true self and helping others babe. xo
I spent 10 years trying to cope with undiagnosed anxiety & depression - I just thought I was overreacting all the time to life. Finally got a diagnosis and treatment and my life has completely changed.
Taking medication, seeing a psychologist, changing up my diet, excercising and having a wonderful support system of family and friends was what helped me. A wholistic approach.
I haven't experienced a panic attack in over a year now. Watching this brought back so many memories, and I can totally relate. It does get better. Hugs xx
ESTEE....Im 52, you have saved me! Yoga with Adrienne as per your recommendation has truly helped me open up mentally and physically.I too suffer with anxiety/depression, but yoga is helping me. Thank you for being you x
Sun Flower I'm 53 and the last three years have been torture. First the anxiety and then the depression. The depression is aweful, feeling like you are going to cry at the drop of a hat...afraid to go out....it's devastating.
Chee C - I feel your pain I really do. Have you entered the menopause as all these ups and down with the hormones dont help our thoughts and feelings? I personally dont take any medications or see a therapist so it can be tough and lonely at times. These past 21 days I commenced yoga with Adrienne and its really helping me physically and mentally to slow down. I've stopped all my other more intense forms of aerobic exercise and focusing totally coming to my yoga mat every morning. Do you do yoga? If not, maybe give it a try.
Sun Flower Hi, I entered menopause at 51. I try to use only natural supplements. Hormones certainly are tricky! Every minute of everyday is a mood swing. It's exhausting. My head is just all over the place...forgetfulness, crying, anger..... 😓
GIRL. I love you.
Melanie Murphy love Mary too ❤️
You've gained my upmost respect for showing your vulnerable side. I can totally relate as a sufferer of anxiety and depression . Got so bad I had to go on antidepressants a couple of times . Self care is key . You're doing all the right things . Love and light to you ...Claire x
such an honest reminder that we're not alone in feeling how we feel, that anxiety and depression can be in the lives of any person - thanks for sharing such a vulnerable side
Honestly? I know a lot of people also have anxiety and depression and as much as I don't wish it on anyone, it's really comforting to watch videos like that. I feel less crazy. Especially considering you're a woman having most (hehe) of your life together that we can look up to. Feels like I'm not totally a lost case ♡ So thank you. Sending a hug and positivity your way ♡
I hate to see anyone cry and without sounding awful, I honestly feel like the old Estee is back but in a great way. It looks like you've really found yourself recently and when you changed up your channel a few years ago I didn't enjoy the content anymore, but recently I've been coming back more and more. You seem so 'you' again! Plus your TAN and hair looks incredible! 👍😍
I can’t even explain how much this video means to me. I wish there were more TH-camrs who show these parts of their lives. That’s why I also started making videos about my eating disorder and Lyme. It’s SO hard to find relatable people on social media and Estee, we’re all rooting for you.❤️ Please share more of these kind of videos.
What’s beautiful about this: Honesty and humility. We often feel pressured to hide or masque our emotions because of an industry or stigmas. I’ve had panic anxiety for over 8 years and when I was going through it the worst I had no one that could relate. What helped me was Yoga also. It connects you to something so much higher than the thought of anxiety. You can do anything and I thank you for being honest and showing us that we aren’t alone too. Sending you hugs from busy New York ♥️
You are so strong. Being upset and showing it is not something you ashamed. Your video will help too many people having anxiety or depression like me. Thank you to share your feelings.
Anxiety and Depression: It feels like you're suffocating and trying to swim at the same time. You aren't alone and I know it feels like you, I think everyone who has Anxiety or Depression or both feels that way sometimes, but you aren't and things like this reminds me that I am not alone and I am so grateful that you put yourself out there likes this. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, because it reminds me I am not alone and neither are you!
The more depression and anxiety is discussed by brave souls like yourself the less of a stigma this disease will have. I have my little tricks to prevent or reduce feeling anxious or whatever and self care is huge! It’s a form of self love when we often don’t feel it. I’m into the Korean many many steps routines, it’s a calming ritual I’m constantly researching, developing and using western products too. This has helped me find a real creative hobby. There’s so much research on the use of scent so I bought a humidifier ( great for the skin) and key essential oils, this works for me. I’m learning to beat my pre frontal cortex, it’s fucking hard but I know learning these small new habits, reading Tolle and others, writing in my gratitude journal every morning whether I’m thankful or not is progress. You talking to us I’m grateful for.
Ianthe Oates anxiety isnt a disease
I didn’t even get into a full minute of this video before liking it. Sweetie, first off, never apologize for expressing your emotions, words can’t describe how proud I am that you posted this, I’ve recently been diagnosed with mild to moderate depression, and I have had severe anxiety most of my life at least for as long as I can comprehend. We are never alone, and we should never be ashamed to express. I, as I’m sure along with many others, take mental health very seriously, it’s real, it’s there, it’s an issue, and we need to talk about it. And I find it great that you’re giving tips and advice on how you deal with it, and hopefully it will help others :). Anyways dear, each day is a step forward, no matter what our day consists of, remember this. I hope we all find inner peace, and become stronger each day in controlling and dealing with this! And hello to Reggie! 🐾💕
Mental health is so important. These are nice short term tips, but have you ever considered therapy? Or do you have a therapist?
Julia S This ☝️
💯. I’m a therapist and people often put of seeking someone because they think it’s means they’re “crazy”, but talking with a professional helps put things into perspective and you realize you’re anything but crazy. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 all the hearts for being so real.
I agree. Masks and hot beverages are nice, but when I'm having an anxiety attack, they do diddly squat. Talking to a professional about tried and true methods of healing and coping is ESSENTIAL!
She talks more about her journey in one of her podcasts called strong
Diana Alvarez I got in touch with a therapist but put it off cause I know I'm not super bad at the moment and didn't want to talk over some of the things that caused it. Still undecided! Comments on here are tempting me.
Estée, I am here with you for several years, and it feels like I know you somehow. And during this time I went through the main stages of your life with you. Seing you cry makes me cry, it really makes me emotional. You are not alone. And you ARE such an amazing and inspiring young woman! Please, hold on. Hold on. Huuuge warm hugs from all of my heart.
I read the chapter in Bloom about your depression and anxiety literally the same morning I had FINALLY gotten my booty to a psychologist and got on some much needed medication. I've turned my life around, and you played a part in my story. I felt so much shame getting help, but reading that you had been there helped me so, so much. You have been such a light in my life, and I've looked to you countless times for that extra dose of strength when I need it (especially since I've just moved to the U.K. from the U.S. with my British husband, and suffering major homesickness). I know it's tough to share these parts of your life, but thank you. It's your strength, not your weakness. I hope this can uplift you a bit and give you some of that connection that you've given to so many yourself. Sending all my love!
by taking meds your only hiding the problem instead of finding the cause of it
I'm so glad you decided to post this. So many people, younger people especially, don't realize how common these feelings are. That it happens to us all. That they are not alone. I went through a period of depression and remember being angry at myself, for not being able to "get it together", feeling like I was crazy or something was wrong with me. So thank you. Sending light your way!
You are preaching to the choir here girl. I'm right there with you. I've been in the trenches for the last few months. It's tough and I understand. I had to bury my husband 6 yrs ago Aug 2nd. Loneliness is my best friend. I'm so sorry to see you crying. Just know that you have a lot going for you. And it will be ok. Getting out doing things. Anything. Helps so much. Sending love and good thoughts your way❤️
Kymberli Shea i'm so sorry for your loss, i hope you're doing okay these days! 🙌
Writing this reply while crying. I cant share my personal marital issue im dealing rn but i wish i could hug you! loneliness seem to be my bestfriend as well. sending you love from Indonesia ❤️
Kymberli Shea 💙
Meta H. ❤️ right back to you
Minerva Li ❤️❤️
I am 19 and i have suffered from severe anxiety and depression my whole life too! I'm constantly convincing myself I will never make it into the "real" adult world and wont be able to have success or keep a job or function on my own. Seeing you be vulnerable and thrive and have so much success makes me realize I'm wrong and that I will survive. You are so many people's older sister on here, thank you for posting this. Thank you thank you thank you!! i love you so much!
Katie Gisondi Hi Katie, have you ever thought about taking medication for your anxiety and depression? It has changed my life.
Hey Katie, your an amazing woman and you can do it!! If you don’t or haven’t maybe consider talking to someone about how your feeling never feel you cannot talk about how you feel :)
andrea summers hi andrea! i have been taking medication for a very long time! it has made things extremely better, but i still suffer from episodes often because medication can only do so much 😊 thank you!
hi stephen! i have gone on and off with therapy because it takes a very large toll on me and it is difficult since I go to school. I am lucky to be surrounded by friends at school who understand and are willing to listen though, and that has been so immensely helpful. Thank you for your kind words!
Be strong Estee. I know what it feels like. Work on it. Never give up. You're worth it. Don't worry, everything's going to be alright. We love you all.
I find it so impressive to see the strengths you show recentering yourself, the steps taken to show kindness and acceptance in order to heal. It reminded me to take active decisions about self care, to unclench the tightness I have in my chest and shoulders. To take care of myself. I wish you well on your journey to health and happiness
I suffer from anxiety too! I am here for you dear! You don't have to go through it alone no more! God bless you and love you so much and big hugs to you too!
Rose Lyons This is very sweet of you, but don’t post your email online, it’s not safe.
Gabriela Villanueva What do you mean by that this is not safe?
Rose Lyons Well, it’s just not a good idea putting personal information online where literally anyone has access to it. You could be opening your personal email to less good-intentioned people who may be watching this video and could write to you to bother you or use your email for their personal interests. I think your sentiment is very noble but don’t expose yourself like this. It’s not just Estee who can see your email, it’s literally anyone.
Gabriela Villanueva Thank you very much for letting me know that one can I take it off of here?
Gabriela Villanueva I got it thanks again for letting me know about this one dear!
Thank you
I couldn't stop crying from the beginning of the video. I'm WITH you and will support you, always. You're NOT alone! Keep being who you are, because you're truly amazing! Sending love & hugs. 💙
I love this so much. I decided a few months ago that I did not want to be dependent on medication to handle my anxiety and depression, and it has been a very long adjustment. Just this past weekend something minor happened that threw off my plans and it has had me in a funk that I can’t seem to snap out of. I love seeing someone emphasize the importance of taking care of yourself and spending time doing things that might not be “productive” in the interest of healing. People who don’t suffer from these things need to understand how difficult it can be sometimes just to live a normal life. Keep up the realness please.
Also Reggie is the cutest
This video saves lives! The day I watched this I had come home from work but cried the whole way home, got my dog and curled up in bed then went to TH-cam to try to just get my mind to switch lanes, and this video was up. I cried with you & totally understand your feels. Sending you all the love & laughs & dog cuddles in the world 😘😘😘
Gotta say this is my favorite video you have done in a very long time. It made you so real and down to earth just like the rest of us. I don’t mean this in the wrong way but sometimes in your videos you come out a little full of yourself. I love this video, I can relate to what you’re going through on so many levels. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share it. Sending you lots of positive vibes 💕
Thank you for uploading this. I appreciate you sharing, I suffer from Anxiety and Depression too. I think others can get a peek into how we feel
Estee, i am one of the silent follower that has been watching your videos for years and almost never commented. I am so so thankful that you got to share this with us. I am going through a tough time myself and thanks to recent events and stress, my anxiety spiked up and my life got a bit complicated lately. I am trying to rebalance too and it is working and i am so so happy. I wanted also to say that It breaks my heart watching this and reading that so many people are going through this because no one should feel like that. Remember that you (all) are not alone. You have the strenght to go through this inside you.
Sometimes with anxiety you just feel like will this ever end... but remember the good days to pull you through the bad days that you can get through it. Its been a struggle for me for many years and sometimes it does just creep up on you. Sending love & strength. xxx
Thank you from sharing your émotions with us, it takes a lot of courage but it’s also therapeutic. I’ve been watching your videos for years, I never commented or tried to interact but today I wanted to tell you that you aren’t alone. I’m 38 and have been struggling with depression and anxiety for 30 years; it isn’t easy but we must find and develop ways and routines that comfort us. Stay strong, you are beautiful inside and out. Don’t hesitate if you feel like chatting. Emilie, a subscriber from Switzerland
This is going to sound really stupid, but this was really reassuring and lovely to watch? I’m not the only one who cries whenever I even try to talk about anxiety. I’m not the only one who struggles with maintaining a tidy environment when I’m in a bad head space. I’m not the only one who struggles with food when I’m depressed.
I am so sorry you were having a bad time, but thank you so much for sharing this with us. 💙
This is exactly what I needed, you are so strong and I’ve been a viewer for longer than I can remember! I always always always look up to you 😭 you are so wonderful thank you for showing empathy and vulnerability
You're an inspiration sweetie 💕
You have helped alot of people with this video.When someone finds out, that it's not just them, but many others that can feel this way,it helps. If you're struggling with unhappiness, seek help from someone in your community , no one should suffer in silence.
you are so RAW. not a lot of people share this part of their lives, but we viewers want to see this part too, because we know noone is perfect. For a person who struggles with depression it is so hard to keep positive and try not to spread negativity around you and act like everything is okay. I felt so much better watching this and knowing that I'm alone and that a lot of people have their downs. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Much love, Estee! My teens and 20s were riddled with depression and anxiety. It felt like the deepest pit of despair that I would never be able to climb out of. I was a young mom and wife in my 20s and I fought through it just as much for them as I did for myself. My 30s have been amazing. I'm now 33 and feel better than I can ever remember. Keep fighting for the woman you are becoming. She is so worth it!! The start of this blog was so painful to watch. I'm an empathetic and watching someone fighting through what i know all too well was so painful. Thank you for sharing and encouraging others. I think depression and anxiety are so much more prevalent than we realize. I hope you have a lovely week!
The past 12 months have been a big transition for you in life. Thank you for sharing, so important to speak out loud and share the moment or share the hard on the head days. 🐕🇨🇦💄😋 I see Mary and I hear "oh hi babes" 😘
Lots of love darling Xx
Charlotte Tilbury you’re such a class act ❤️
Charlotte Tilbury you are very kind.
Oh how I want to hug you. Sending so much love. I know you are feeling better this weekend but still sending all the love.
I've been watching your videos for what feels like forever. Year and a half ago I've been diagnosed with T1D that caused a severe depression I've been dealing with for months.Watching your videos has been a thing that always lifted me up and brought me strenth to move forward. I strongly believe that you are a fighter and I thank you for that. Love you with all my heart❤
Excellent example of checking in on yourself, being gentle with yourself, and taking time to recenter through self care. Loved it. I will definitely use this with my clients to show how what we talk about in therapy looks in real life! Thanks Estee!
Love you, Estee. I’m sending peaceful vibes across the pond from Tx to you. You are not alone in this and thank you for posting such a real blog. It’s hard to let people in to see our lowest moments. All women are sisters, and this Southern sister is here for you! You are a strong, intelligent wonderful woman and I really admire you for showing your struggles. “It can’t rain all the time.” Whenever I’m down I look down at that quote from the movie, The Crow, which I had tattooed on the inside of my forearm. It is a great reminder that the sun will come out at some point, and that the gloomy grayness will indeed pass. Love you!
Cried whilst you were crying cause I just GET it. Thanks so much for posting this - just seeing others be in the same scenario makes you feel so much less isolated and I think this video will help so many people. So glad you’re feeling more positive and sending all the positive vibes your way
You probably saved a life with this video
she did
Right after watching this video, I had a wonderful chat with my mom in the car about anxiety and depression because we both have been clinically diagnosed with it. She said the same thing you did, depression is REAL. And medicine is helpful and it’s something that some people really don’t believe it or think it’s self induced and it’s really not. I told my mom “people always ask me how I can be depressed when I’m always so happy all the time, and I have to respond with it’s easier pretending than to have to explain why I’m sad because I genuinely don’t know. I just AM. I just am sad sometimes and I can’t help it.” And she said she couldn’t agree more. It’s exhausting but knowing we aren’t going through things alone is very refreshing and I’m so grateful that I have someone who I not only enjoy watching on TH-cam but also believes in medicine and also therapeutic and spiritual remedies too. Thank you for this.
So grateful for this video. Currently experiencing the worst pit of my anxiety and feeling very helpless, but seeing others deal with the same feelings is so comforting. Sending hope and healing your way. We got this!!!
Thank you for sharing this Estée. You are definitely not alone, I’ve been having a really hard time lately as well. Sending you love and light 💛✨💗
I had this issue for my entire life, but it is almost 75% under control when I do not eat sugar (including things that turn into sugar, including bread). The rest is all yoga, walking, dog snuggles and time with friends and family. Not posting to be judgemental, because what works for one person may not work for another, but good mental health begins in the gut. Eat to nourish the body and mind. I hope you are feeling better xx
You re amazing....yeah mine was the worst case of social anxiety . ..
I fucking love you, and we all need this realness right now. I've suffered from anxiety and depression for YEARS, and I've always seen you as this incredible woman. Which I still do. But I couldn't imagine that you felt this way, even more than occasionally, even when you alluded to mental health stuff. Probably because so often, when it comes to TH-camrs, "influencers", etc., we don't "see" it. And that makes sense, of course. You deserve privacy and a private life and you are entitled to share or not share exactly as much as you want.. But I'm so grateful you shared this. Because you crying on that screen is my reality a lot of the time, and the fact that I've seen how you live on your other vlogs, and what you're able to do when you push through it, and all of those things...is frankly more inspiring to me than probably anything has been since I first picked up a Cheryl Strayed book. Sorry for rambling, but thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable for those of us who can really, really see this and not only see how you really struggle, but look at that and all of the other parts of you and see what we too can do in the face of these really hard things.
So many of the people who talk about mental health on this platform and others do so looking perfectly polished and it's a little hard to relate to when you're really going through it in the moment. Seeing it, from someone I admire this much, is so powerful. I hope you keep this up, because I know this will help me be strong on days I can and bring me comfort on those I have a harder time.
I would say this video helps bridge the gap between a viewer and an influencer, everyone has bad days and its good to know its okay to have them. Life is not 'Instagram' friendly all the time, thank you to Estee for showing this.
Thank you Estee. Im feeling less alone because of people like you that bring depression and anxiety out in the light.
Please see a Therapist. No stigma - just someone to talk to with no judgement that is not part of your everyday life. It will help. I realize you can talk to friends/mom - but a professional will help with some strategies.
Fiona Frazer YESSS
Mind your own.
I really appreciate this. I suffer OCD and that caused me anxiety and depression and to me it's amazing that you put this out. XO 😘
Hi Estée, this was me yesterday, crying at work all day and I couldn’t help it, it just happens and you don’t know what to do and then you start feeling worst, I have never see you so vulnerable on a video but you can do this, girl. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Natalie Garduño hi
Thank you for putting yourself out there for us to see. I also suffer from depression and anxiety for 20 years now. Sometimes it hard to show people what’s going on inside you, but you are not alone. We love you and hope this video helped you as much as it helped us.
Estee always have a heeling power to me. Back when she was button, I was in a depression/anxiety state and her video always calm me. I cannot feel it for a while but now this feeling comes back!
I don't think I've ever seen you more beautiful than in this video. Thank you for being so raw & transparent! It means the world ❤️
It’s so easy to feel like star TH-camrs are perfect people with perfect lives. But really we’re all the same. 💕
Thank you. It’s honest and real. It’s also refreshing to see the real you in true life. Hang in there.......it gets better.
I can see the pain and discomfort in your eyes. Thanks for posting this and being strong. There are so many people on you tube that will post similar videos for the views but I can see 100% this is you and your pain. You are not alone as many of us often feel. And by the way, how are you still beautiful and glowing, girl my ugly cry is full on UGLY! Keep strong lady, you are major strength goals xx
My favorite video of yours ever. Authentic and real. I struggle with anxiety and depression and seeing people talk about it in a real way is refreshing. Thanks for sharing.
Was just having anxiety attack and suddenly see your video in my recommended videos. Keep strong, girl. Love you and your videos ❤❤
Estee, I can definitely relate. Sometimes I feel like I'm made of glass, fragile and exposed. I'm very guilty of doing the complete opposite of what I should do to care for myself. Watching you go through your routines and healing processes reminded me of how I should be caring for myself, about how much those small kindnesses towards ourselves go such a long way. I wish you peace and health and all good things. Thank you for sharing this with the world xx
Aww darling. Anxiety is Soo common. I realized even more when all of my participants to the yoga retreat mentioned in their application that they were struggling with it. I send you a lot of love and if you are looking for a wellness week, I'd love to have you join the group 💟 Yoga is not just about keeping up with the flow. It's about listening to your body and you did just that 🎆🙏
Oooh girl I’ve been coming back to your channel recently and updated myself on what’s been going on since I’ve been gone. And you have me crying on the couch slow hot tears. I grew up with you and I truly hurt for you. Good will come your way and peace will come. Much love. Stay true to yourself
I never comment on videos and I know you probably won't get this message but... thank you so so so much for bravely sharing this video. As someone who has been struggling with severe anxiety combined with feelings of alienation and loneliness, I can't express how helpful this video is. You have made me realise that I am not the only one and that perhaps there are people out there that understand. I enjoyed seeing your self care routine and I'm very glad you were feeling better by the end. It was a great reminder of the importance of taking time out for ourselves. Sending my love to you, Estee 💕
This was so relatable..I’m in the same boat with anxiety/ depression. I feel like my anxiety started when the whole social media took over and everything became so “perfect” it’s a weird coincidence. It’s so hard sometimes I have good days and I have very bad emotional and just overall down days..
Holy shit.....anxiety don't care about good looks! 😔 And I was ugly lol but...I didn't know all the gorgeous women who suffer so badly from their issues....but you know. I'm proof you can dig yourself out of the hole successfully....it's tough as hell yes. But it can be done...x
finally!! someone else who puts a mask over her eyebrows! Thank you for making me feel a little less odd!
even though I know for sure there must be people who experience anxiety and depression,I tend to forget when I´m in that moment and I just feel like I´m all alone in this. But I´m not.
So thank you for reminding me that and for the tips to cheer myself up :) I love your content so much.
You wonderful brave woman 🙏🏻 You have no idea how inspiring you are.... You are not alone with your anxiety and depression... There are so many of us out there...just follow your path and continue your spiritual journey.... and never forget: Univers has your back 🙏🏻❤️ Yoga is a life philosophy.... it’s an inside journey.... it’s not about flexibility.... one day you will rock that warrior and the next day you will barely be able to stand on your feet... Darling, it’s OK! I’m teaching yoga and I keep repeating this in my classes over and over again... Remember that God or Universe (whatever resonates with you) will never give you a lesson you can’t handle... you’ve got this girl! Straight roads never lead to a beautiful destination.... sending you loads of love ❤️ , Željka
Estée you're such a lovely human being! Thank you for showing this side of your life. It helps others to know they're not alone. My one word of advice (which I know you receive many), I truly believe everyone needs to see a therapist at some point in time in their life. Whether you're feeling you're highest of highs or lowest of lows it helps to talk to a non-judgemental professional in a very safe space. I encourage everyone to try to find a therapist and to try to find one that fits with you! Sending lots of love and hugs!