I love my inner child. She is so sweet and angelic. She had a tantrum just the other day, but I was right by her side to hold her space and let her feel the abandonment that is so familiar to her. I just let her know I'm here. I'm steady, and I can handle her feelings. She's so small. She must let these bad feelings out! She deserves to get them out because they are not her.
I get triggered by my child's negative emotions, particularly when she just cries inconsolably. I feel so frustrated and feel like shouting and getting angry (obviously a bad idea). This perfectly reflects my childhood and being punished in anger for my own negative emotions. Obviously I want to heal this part of me because I want to do better for her.
BunnaySango it’s such a bad trigger for me. I want to learn more about this part of myself and not be so quick to be upset but it’s hard when you’re wanting to teach your kids to “obey” or are conditioned to dismiss their feelings. I wasn’t shown that mine mattered.
I go through this too, it is very normal. Don't shame yourself, bring awareness and you can always repair the rupture by apologizing. Humans make mistakes, it is a beautiful thing to teach them that we can reflect on our mistakes & try to do better next time.
you are astonishing. about 7 videos into your channel and i have realised so much. i have to pause and rewind a lot, so much wisdom my brain cannot keep up! thank you thank you
Watching my mom deal with my son’s tantrums is insane. She’ll tell him to be quiet, and then say ok go ahead and have a tantrum, and then when he starts letting it out she snaps “OH STOP”. I’m going crazy knowing how damaging it is but I’m stuck in this house.
Dear Candace, thank you so much. This video totally shifted my perspective and I am so grateful! I have lived my life overshadowed by not feeling enough and in my attempt to shift this I have been trying to ”improve" myself. In your video you say that by doing this I subconsciously tell my self that I authentically isn’t enough. Of course, it makes so much sense. What a relief!
Wow, this is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen to help me. I never felt comfortable in my own skin and didn’t fully awaken to my healing journey until 2 years ago. Ive been threatened and shamed by my mother and others my entire life so it’s been a very difficult journey. In middle school a girl wrote in my yearbook “why are you you?” That always stuck with me. Literally this evening I felt myself get irritated and want to release my anger, because I’m used to it feeling empowering etc, but I didn’t go through with it this time. I observed it, allowed myself to see that I wanted to yell and scream but it passed.
"Don't Really Need To Say Anything Else, (Well I Do, But Don't Want To Muddy What I Really Want To Say), "and that is, "You're Truelt A Wonderful, & Glowing Person, "And My Wish Is That, (You Set Aside 10, Or 100% As Much Support As You Give Us) ! 💖 ! 💖 ! 💖 ! 💖 ! 🤩 🥰 🤩 🥰 🤩 🥰
I am so glad I found your channel. I love your energy - you feel like a cool sister or friend. I am currently binging on a shit ton of your videos and am going to show a couple to my husband. Thanks for putting these videos out there. ♥️
That's what you all are living for is thumbs up or a plate timer to back up what you feel is right that's what we live for correct for our own desire to be chosen to be the one that means the most in life. But we all know that is the wrong way to think it is not about yourself it's about others because would you want to live in this world by yourself course not so why would you think of yourself first think about that
Hello Candace! 😊 I wanted to ask you about a subject. 🌱 I have been a people pleaser during a huge period of my life without paying attention to my inner self. Now im totally the opposite healing myself inside and viewing life according to inner self -> exterior world. How do we keep a balance or what do you think is the correct way? Send you a lot of good vibes thank you very much for your videos! 🌱💚🌼🌲
When I was people pleasing, I was really trying to please my immature inner child. Trying to get the validation my mother couldn't give me. When I changed that, I was born. It felt selfish at first, but you were always supposed to be your #1. Many of us will never fulfill our purpose here because we're too busy handling other's lives for them. So busy we don't know ourselves, let alone know our purpose! Hope this helps...
Candace, I think for people who use iPhone as the primary for watching videos don’t have to “join” button. I think you have to talk to the help center/customer service for TH-cam to fix the issue. I’ve seen it happen with other TH-cam channels just an FYI for you. I don’t see the join option and I use an iPhone! Thanks!
I am sad I only just saw this video 3 weeks after you posted it. I am in Australia and would love to attend the online classes for codependency and narcissist abuse. Are there any available? How can I find the details for these classes? 🙏🏼
"Get REAL about how you FEEL so you can HEAL". ~~Candace val Dell
I love my inner child. She is so sweet and angelic. She had a tantrum just the other day, but I was right by her side to hold her space and let her feel the abandonment that is so familiar to her. I just let her know I'm here. I'm steady, and I can handle her feelings. She's so small. She must let these bad feelings out! She deserves to get them out because they are not her.
I get triggered by my child's negative emotions, particularly when she just cries inconsolably. I feel so frustrated and feel like shouting and getting angry (obviously a bad idea). This perfectly reflects my childhood and being punished in anger for my own negative emotions. Obviously I want to heal this part of me because I want to do better for her.
I also feel like getting angry and have wondered why.
BunnaySango it’s such a bad trigger for me. I want to learn more about this part of myself and not be so quick to be upset but it’s hard when you’re wanting to teach your kids to “obey” or are conditioned to dismiss their feelings. I wasn’t shown that mine mattered.
I go through this too, it is very normal. Don't shame yourself, bring awareness and you can always repair the rupture by apologizing. Humans make mistakes, it is a beautiful thing to teach them that we can reflect on our mistakes & try to do better next time.
you are astonishing. about 7 videos into your channel and i have realised so much. i have to pause and rewind a lot, so much wisdom my brain cannot keep up! thank you thank you
I was always afraid of the idea of reparenting, but if it starts with being present and observing, I can do at least that much.
Watching my mom deal with my son’s tantrums is insane. She’ll tell him to be quiet, and then say ok go ahead and have a tantrum, and then when he starts letting it out she snaps “OH STOP”. I’m going crazy knowing how damaging it is but I’m stuck in this house.
Dear Candace, thank you so much. This video totally shifted my perspective and I am so grateful!
I have lived my life overshadowed by not feeling enough and in my attempt to shift this I have been trying to ”improve" myself. In your video you say that by doing this I subconsciously tell my self that I authentically isn’t enough. Of course, it makes so much sense. What a relief!
Incredible woman...Ive never heard this explained so fundamentally and yet so simply in a matter of minutes.
Wow, this is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen to help me. I never felt comfortable in my own skin and didn’t fully awaken to my healing journey until 2 years ago. Ive been threatened and shamed by my mother and others my entire life so it’s been a very difficult journey. In middle school a girl wrote in my yearbook “why are you you?” That always stuck with me. Literally this evening I felt myself get irritated and want to release my anger, because I’m used to it feeling empowering etc, but I didn’t go through with it this time. I observed it, allowed myself to see that I wanted to yell and scream but it passed.
So many years of programming plus a brain injury.... it's taking me a lot of time. Thank you for your vids 🙏 they're spot on 🙏
Thank you🤗❤️🙏your Video got to me in a perfect moment😊much love❤️
"Don't Really Need To Say Anything Else, (Well I Do, But Don't Want To Muddy What I Really Want To Say), "and that is, "You're Truelt A Wonderful, & Glowing Person, "And My Wish Is That, (You Set Aside 10, Or 100% As Much Support As You Give Us) ! 💖 ! 💖 ! 💖 ! 💖 !
🤩 🥰 🤩 🥰 🤩 🥰
I am so glad I found your channel. I love your energy - you feel like a cool sister or friend.
I am currently binging on a shit ton of your videos and am going to show a couple to my husband.
Thanks for putting these videos out there. ♥️
This video is incredibly helpful
I love u , please talk about how to be financially independent
Happy new year my teacher you is fantastic lady I to see constantely week. hugs I lik you. the brasil studing new vision emotion the life.
Really fabulous Candace!
That's what you all are living for is thumbs up or a plate timer to back up what you feel is right that's what we live for correct for our own desire to be chosen to be the one that means the most in life. But we all know that is the wrong way to think it is not about yourself it's about others because would you want to live in this world by yourself course not so why would you think of yourself first think about that
Hello Candace! 😊
I wanted to ask you about a subject. 🌱 I have been a people pleaser during a huge period of my life without paying attention to my inner self. Now im totally the opposite healing myself inside and viewing life according to inner self -> exterior world. How do we keep a balance or what do you think is the correct way?
Send you a lot of good vibes thank you very much for your videos! 🌱💚🌼🌲
When I was people pleasing, I was really trying to please my immature inner child. Trying to get the validation my mother couldn't give me. When I changed that, I was born. It felt selfish at first, but you were always supposed to be your #1.
Many of us will never fulfill our purpose here because we're too busy handling other's lives for them. So busy we don't know ourselves, let alone know our purpose! Hope this helps...
Candace, I think for people who use iPhone as the primary for watching videos don’t have to “join” button. I think you have to talk to the help center/customer service for TH-cam to fix the issue. I’ve seen it happen with other TH-cam channels just an FYI for you. I don’t see the join option and I use an iPhone! Thanks!
Sooo good!
It's called Emotophobia (not to be confused with Emetophobia)!
What brands of vitamins and minerals are you consuming? please make a vid on that :)
I am sad I only just saw this video 3 weeks after you posted it. I am in Australia and would love to attend the online classes for codependency and narcissist abuse. Are there any available? How can I find the details for these classes? 🙏🏼
Amanda Alley well it’s perfect timing because we just opened for summer enrollment. Here is the link emotionalrehab.candacevandell.com
Amanda Alley or inner work www.candacevandell.com/inner-work/
Candace van Dell thank you! I felt dumb immediately after as I saw you posted all the links super clearly under your video 🤦🏼♀️ thank you 🙏🏼
Resa Louise Berger
Looking for my Lighterworker tribe!
❤