Hi all, this is Melinda! 👋🏻 Your generous, supportive comments have been incredible to read. It's been so healing to see that many of you related to my story 💗 Also, in case you needed to hear this today... I know you might be sitting there watching this, feeling like you WANT to want real love and connection, but it just doesn't feel realistic or worth your effort. You might feel like connecting with others isn’t worth giving up your peace. It's not worth the racing heart and the panic attacks and the never-ending mental roller coaster that keeps you up all night. It's not worth putting yourself out there, only to feel constantly talked over and misunderstood. But I know there's another part of you deep down that knows you deserve to experience real love and connection. And in your moments of strength and optimism (even if they're few and far between), the first step is to start loving and trusting YOURSELF first. Everything starts from there. I never would have been able to do this challenge if I hadn't decided 6 years ago that I deserved better than the shitty ways I was treating myself. If you show yourself love (even if it feels fake for a while) and you take small steps to heal at your own pace, one day you'll wake up stunned to realize that you're not faking it anymore. You WILL feel that love for both yourself and others. You WILL be able to see real progress. And even though I know it might not seem like it right now, it IS worth it - and the fear becomes a dance partner instead of a demon. Sending you all so much love. Take care of yourselves ❤
Congratulations on getting out of it! It's really inspiring that you not only exposed yourself to all the people who took part in the challenge but all of us as well.
seriously i was thinking the samething, i dont think i'd be vulnerable enough to let my family and friends watch me struggle with something everyone thinks is "easy". The sliver of pride i have in myself is hanging on the idea that my friends and family think i'm a functional human being who is veragely confident. EVEN with the way my finances are right now i'm not sure my social anxiety would take a backseat if someone like mark offered me tthis kinda money to do fun activities on camera lool.
How to Overcome Anxiety 1. Desensitization (get outside, talk to strangers, realize the awkwardness won’t kill you) 2. Curiosity (when you train yourself to be curious about others/new activities, you remove the constant focus away from yourself) 3. Humor (You’ll stop worrying what other ppl think of you when you realize how seldom they do) 4. Vulnerability (the going 1st principle) 5. Authenticity
I would add mindfulness. That's a big one. The book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels has good mindfulness practices I've enjoyed. Retraining the brain and its automatic reactions is important.
Diet actually cured all my phsyical anxiety weirdly enough, I no longer "feel" anxious, I can have anxious thoughts (although much less) but no longer feel it in my body.
I can tell Mark approached this whole project from a place of love and empathy over anything else. All her challenges were approachable and usually fun and even funny. This is why Mark's work is so attractive to me. Breakthroughs are fun now, and they even have naughty words. Thanks for making this your life's work!
The breakthroughs hit a great zone of being simple approachable, interesting, and having real depth to them as opposed to other self-help advice, like that admiral who insists that making your bed in the morning will solve all your problems. I've found them really significant and applicable to my own life.
Anyone else tearing up from watching this? Way to go Melinda, that was badass. Love the video, Mark. Seeing these principles shown in a practical sense was a very powerful way to portray it. 👏 To anyone else out there facing similar things. You got this.
As a former boy scout master, so many of the things I saw in this video are things that we worked through with scouts younger, many of whom have gravitated to scouting because of their own fears and anxieties, often at their parent's bidding ("maybe scouting can get him out of his shell..."). Success in front of their peers, overcoming failure through effort and systematic work, learning to put the group ahead of your own comfort, realizing that a little failure is good for you and no one hates you because of it but succeeding is so much sweeter, learning to lead... it is all so related to self confidence and social maturity.
Mark is better than any psychiatric doctor I have ever met. Instead of BS appointments and medication Mark helped this young lady via exposure therapy and “commiserating together”. He was an “active participant” in hear treatment and I can’t even imagine how much better she feels. Both of you did great. Looking forward to watching more of these videos.
While I have nothing against psychiatric meds and traditional therapy, you're dead on when it comes to exposure therapy and commiserating. When it comes to conquering your fears, the only way out is trough.
@@cornocmaybe the whole idea of "1 hour in an office setting" is what's wrong. It's a very rigid structure to help with something that's so different for every person walking into it.
I like that unlike a lot of "self help" authors, you seem willing to actually go out and prove that what you say/do can help regular people. I look forward to the rest of this series for sure.
do hypnotherapy its the cure for social anxiety/any anxiety IMO because you actually go back mentally/emotionally to the origin of the anxiety and resolve it its what i did and i feel so much better and different its kinda crazy didnt realize humans could change this fast until now
It's so refreshing to see the action behind the "self-development" stuff. This feels so real and raw, amazing Marc love the direction. Great job Melinda.
I went through that journey on my own, forcing myself to speak to strangers, dealing with their rejection etc, it was so powerful and all along people said I was a weirdo for challenging myself, but I became so much stronger for it. Well done on helping this lady Mark, and to anyone out their who is struggling, just take it one step at a time, in your own time, but push forward, moving outside your comfort zone makes your comfort zone rapidly expand
hmm rejection/abandonment has been a big thing for me XD Logically i know differently n i am better than i used to be, but its been a trigger since i was 4 -37yrs ago XD How did u go about it? I dont have a social anxiety im happy to chat to randoms, cos they 'mean nothing' as theres no emotional investment
@@kimwarburton8490 I'm in no way qualified to give advice so bare that in mind. But I had a very similar situation as in "I dont care about strangers cos they mean nothing" but I think that is one of the worst mindsets to approach the situation with. As Mark pointed out through this video, the best way to overcome your anxiety isn't courage, it's curiosity. How can you be curious if the person "means nothing" to you, maybe reframe your belief to be something more along the lines of "If this situation doesn't go well I don't need to see this stranger again." this will open up the potential to be curious whilst keeping the freedom of not being overly invested into whether the conversation/exchange goes well or poorly.
@@BradM This is an excellent response! :D Problem is, if i like someone enough to BE curious about them, historically, a trauma pattern of fawning or freeze-mode* ensues. Esp if i am romantically interested, i go into freeze, potential friends i have historically 'fawned' XD I have had no social life since 2014 due to ill-health, so when im fully recovered and start making friends again, things likely to be different. Currently, i have very limited empirical evidence that i have changed/healed enough mentally/behaviourally/socially/confidence/boundries etc etc, so these fears of repeating past experiences live on. (*where my brain and body cease to function and i am unable to communicate. Not in the cute comedy film way, but in a i literally only hear noise, not words because my brain shuts down kinda freeze mode. I can only apologise and blame/explain ME/CFS diagnosis, but it is also rejection trauma from when i was 4/5/6) I think what i need to do most is get out of my own head, stop analysing and fearing 'x', worry less about whether im 'good enough/worthy enough' to be included by them and more about IF i genuinely like THEM in the first place. I have also rushed into friendships that were ... not good. I intend to be choosier about who i let into my life -no toxics etc Does that resonate?
This is like an awesome Mr. Beast/Self-Help/Psychology mashup. Love the direction this channel is taking. Feels like a genuine and natural progression of your writing and course work. Nice job, Mark!
It would be fantastic to see a follow up in 6 months! You rock, Mark. It's inspiring to see Melinda find more of her courage and curiosity. She's set an example for all of us who live within our heads rather than the world.
That was really beautiful. This video made me cry. I’ve suffered from social anxiety my whole life and it’s nice to see others making strides to overcome it. I just assumed life would always be this way. This gives me hope which I lost a long time ago. I’m even terrified to post this comment but I’ll do it.
Yay, you did the going first thing 😊 I struggle more some days and less others, I’ve learnt about my self that I have a limit on how many hours I can interact with people before I’m topped out. Respecting my own needs helps me trust myself. And I find that people are a lot nicer than I have expected them to be, I’m learning to expect kindness and friendliness more, and building trust to look after myself when they aren’t. 😊😊
Saw Mark in a normal human space for the first time. Idk In his TH-cam videos he seems to me like someone who would just ignore you in the crowd with a weird looking face, but he seems genuine caring person in this video. Well done, Mark, you'll always be the big difference in Melinda's life
As someone who actively works on their own social anxiety and pushes himself to improve on a daily basis, I appreciate this video. Thanks for everything you do mark!
Its so emotional to see Milinda improve through this process, nd I'm watching her improving, and in stage 5 when all invited her with claps - surprise.... Literally i got emotional by seeing how confidently she was speaking, and sharing learnings... ❤️Its just so powerful..!!!
Crazy how the 10K cheque incentive probably didn't matter. Getting rid of anxiety is priceless. Btw, thank you Mark for writing Models. I'm reading it at the moment and applying everything I've learned from it to my actual social life. It helps me a lot. Wish I did it sooner, but better late than never!
@@NicoPinilla97You're right in that 10k probably did initially incentivize her to do the uncomfortable things, but after doing all the stages having no social anxiety is worth way more than that
I suffered from social anxiety all my life and i never knew what it was called until my mid 20s. growing up in a Hispanic household in the 90s, anxiety was never spoken of mainly because there wasn’t any knowledge about it but now as an adult i understand what causes my anxiety and i can find resources to help myself. i needed to watch this. thank you for everything you do Mark!
Wow, that was fucking beautiful, I cried my ass off during her speech. All the unfolding of her person in so little time, overcoming something (we) think is stuck with us for our entire lives. When you overcome things like anxiety in your life, you know how liberating it feels. It brought me back to my moments of liberation, but also how beautiful it is to see other humans free themselves. Bravo to Melinda!
This actually made me cry at the end. The only way to cure anxiety is to face it head on and this video is an example of that. As an anxious person myself it's so important to remember the suffering comes from our perspective and that by changing our perspective we can change the way we see life. Well done to mark for changing her life that's something that money can't buy
It would be amazing to see Melinda and how she's doing in 6 months or even a year. Seeing the long term effects of this experiment would be really interesting!
Man I am seeing your content for almost three years. Read your books in 2018. But hands down I can say this is the best thing you have ever done. Love you mark . Keep changing lifes ❤
She is one of the most adorable people I’ve seen and Mark you’re goddamn superhero. Finally through your recent videos I can see a small beam of light in these so dark and depressing times.
Sweet Melinda sounds like an HSP, her light sure shines like one. Exquisitely sensitive nervous system, walking antenna picking up everyone else's energy, the feelings are so loud that it's hard to hear your own thoughts. Spend a lifetime trying to decipher your feelings from everyone else's and learn how to manage this gift, substances are a common way of coping. Finding that piece to my puzzle has changed my life. Love the video, all very helpful info. ❤
It's not about getting rid of your anxiety but learning to play with it, it's all about changing your perspective! damn I watched this twice lol I've struggled with anxiety over the tiniest things and thought it would never go away but this really give me hope
Hi Sohee I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? 🌺Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹
I was moved to tears as I went on this journey with Melinda.Mark, you are an incredible human with a huge heart and I am so glad I crossed your path. Thank you for all you do for everyone ... those who make themselves visible to you, but mostly ... on behalf of those who are silent. xo
😍 *Your COURAGE to 1, embark on this journey for yourself & 2, share it, is such a GIFT to yourself and those of us who witness it. Thank you, Melinda. 💚 There's so much power & healing in VULNERABILITY.* 🙏🏾
I love this direction you're taking the channel, Mark! As someone who has struggled with anxiety on and off over my life and finally is in a place where I feel great and comfortable and even energized around people, especially new people, this video literally brought tears to my eyes. Keep up what you're doing!
This is the kind of social experiment that could change people’s lives what a creative and altruistic project I loved how much she transformed with every task i feel like she even looks different towards the end!
What a great change for a already great woman. Her giggly laughter and wide smile makes me happy! I wish you the best! Thank you for sharing this happy story.
Good on you, Mark. For ALSO trying something new and braving this direction. Life doesn't come with cheat codes or walk throughs - so we cope - and many of us disappear along the way. Life is good, when you can figure out what is holding you back. A lot of us are being held back and we don't know why or how to get away from it. We all need help, love and understanding.
Thank you Mark and Melinda for sharing your hearts and wisdom. This video speaks volumes. I also suffer with a degree of social anxiety and have felt disconnected from others since being a teenager until today, ( I 'm in my thirties). After almost twenty years of therapy and medication, I'm still struggling, so it feels good to know there's hope and much more people going through the same..For all of you I send love and encouragement. It's not an easy world but if we take a tiny step every day, things will change ( at least I hope so!)
awe I has the genuine feels for this. I don't know her but I'm incredibly proud of her. I think anxiety is something you probably never "get over" but just learn to dance with and befriend. Cheers to her success going forward and hugs to anyone who deals with this on a daily basis.
Such a beautiful video. I suffered from social anxiety my whole life. Seeing Melinda go through these challenges and coming out the other side with a new perspective on life feels so inspiring
Same here, this video made me smile. Seeing how she made it through each challenge. I watched the video, but was scared to write a comment until I saw this 😂
I straightaway teared up towards the end of this video, Mark. What a brilliant way to help someone deal with their anxiety, and help people grow in their lives. As someone who has struggled from anxiety and depression from a long time due to various past traumas, I would definately do something like this even if there was no reward, no money at the end. Keep doing this Mark, it always makes me happy to watch such videos and how you make a difference in people's lives. Thank you.
As someone who suffers from social anxiety too, I was able to relate to Melinda a lottt. This was super inspirational and imma try those tips because I want to change too. Thanks Mark and Melinda for having the courage to do this! 💗💗
This video had a big impact on me. Especially since that song you played was once something I listened to every day when I was a depressed teenager/young adult.
I can't believe I'm about to write this, but I've been dealing with the exact same struggle as she has my entire life (tho I have no one special to change for), I realized I have been doing some of these stages in the past 1-2 weeks (out of order tho) and I feel like my own subconcious and universe has been trying to tell me to keep at it, not to regress back into my shell. I just went out for the first time in months having an amazing time and not reacting to everything as a defence mechanism (as I usually do), It's the most motivated I've been to finally let myself be ME and not care what others thing. I come back, open TH-cam and this is the first video I see. I'm a logical man of science, but I really hope this is destiny! Thank you Mark, only found this channel because my dad recommended it to me the other month.
This came at a right time because I’ve been eager to talk to a new student in my grade but my social anxiety has been keeping me away from that opportunity. I’m just grateful that I now have a completely new perspective on socializing, rather than seeing it as a test
This is beyond inspiring! To be vulnerable enough to even be brave enough to do this to begin with has inspired me! The fact you’re out there supporting people directly as well as creating content is why I think you’re my favourite TH-cam creator.
Hey Mark! I'm a huge fan of your work, and your book has genuinely impacted my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. I've been religiously following your TH-cam videos and absolutely love the content you bring forth. Quick audio tip for you: Try standing a bit further from the mic, cutting the low end at 100kHz, and adding some compression. This could really boost your sound quality.
Love this! Getting into a career in sales was my personal opportunity to put these principles into action by being forced to call and connect with strangers! It definitely helped me build authentic confidence and I’m committed to helping more people use a career in sales to break through their own glass ceilings, become more self expressed, and make meaningful connections and a lot of money along the way!
Hi Mark! I loved this video thoroughly! I can't thank you enough for the work you do, I am ever so indebted. I feel she (Melinda) is so fortunate to go through this challenge with you in person. I have read a little bit about you and a few books you published. They are all awesome. I am on a journey to read every book you've ever written, but above all I would love to meet you in person as soon as I can. Listening to you, reading your books feels like being saved from drowning into the sea of anxiety, depression, and mental trauma. Thank you once again for being there, being a beacon lamp, being such a nice and noble person 🙏💗😇
Cheers ✨🥂 Melinda and Mark!!! As a person who’s always suffered w/ anxiety - this brought tears to my eyes! Didn’t think I could love you or your work any more than I already do, Mark - but I was wrong!!! Bravo 👏🏽 ✨🥳. Just incredible
This video is awesome and yet again proves “ in vivo therapy” ie just go and do it in real life is the best way. If she sat around and intellectualized /spoke abstractly about her anxiety she would never make this progress.
A beautiful and touching story! Great lessons to help people who deal with anxiety, whether big or small. Thanks for sharing this, Mark! This is a very original way to help and educate people at the same time with your usual humor and insightful philosophy. Can't wait to watch the next one!
This was AMAZING!!! So genuine you weren’t kidding when you said you were going to do something big, different, totally real. Melinda beautiful to watch you blossom. So many elements of my life here…. Thank you for blazing the way. PS :I went to high school in Saskatoon … nice city full of really really nice real people!!!
This was so beautifully wholesome Mark. You truly are making the world a much better place. Thank you for the smiles, the wisdom, and as always, the authenticity. Cheers🎉
Man I feel like we all need to go through these uncomfortable things to realize things aren’t as scary as we make them out to be. Absolutely loved seeing the journey she went through and I’m so happy to see how she changed by just forcing herself to go through some challenges.
Great direction for the channel. Awesomeness! One tip: for the story telling voice over, try to replace all past tense verbs to present tense. So instead of "As we talked in the car afterward, Melinda's entire demeanor had changed" say "As we talk in the car, notice that Melinda's demeanor is very different." Or, instead of "Something incredible happened," say "What happens next is incredible." It helps the viewer to feel like it's happening now, which is far more interesting than something that happened already. Ya know what I'm saying? It commands a higher level of attention. Almost as if to say "don't blink or you will miss this!" Looking forward to new videos!
hmm yeah but i think this is good, it will become more like other youtubers content like pranks and vlogs stuff. his past tense verbs feels more like smthin serious business lol but kinda suits this genre
Sometimes the biggest thing standing in our way is ourselves. Melinda, I feel so much joy seeing you conquer your fears. You're inspiring many of us to do the same. You are doing amazing work, Mark!
When it is just you behind a desk in front of a camera, you seem a little jaded, but when you are actually with people - you have such an easy going way about you.
She has the sweetest laugh ❤ .. And that laugh has a lot of stories and lessons to tell. Keep it up Mark! I've been waiting for this video to be release. I hope one day I can be a part of your videos/channel. Thank you.
It’s a great idea to help people and show on practices what to do. Reading a book it’s just a small step to understand what to do. I like your approach to help people. It’s very inspiring. 👏
Hi Anna I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? 🌺Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹
18:06 Felt really cute when Melinda was talking about that we can't do anything in life without the help of others and at that time the camera showed two girls holding hands. And wow what a way she told us a story that it made me feeling a sense of connection with Melinda as I also face social anxiety.
WOW😮....I would, but I'm waaay worse than her...I'd be the biggest pain in ya'lls ass. That was so wonderful for her😄🎉It was really great, thank you!!!
This gives me so many memories and feelings of when I had social anxiety where I would pretend to do other things to get other people's approval. After being deployed, my friends told me that I needed to ask more questions while doing training since I was quiet/introverted letting life play itself whether I succeeded or not. I learned a lot after coming back knowing living life to the fullest knowing it can end at any moment. It doesn't matter what happens as long as you do it with the kindness of your heart and be vulnerable about it giving to the world. I thought I'd share this.
For someone who has social anxiety she seems incredibly comfortable in front of a camera. I can't even speak to a freaking answer machine let alone talk into a camera that comfortably.
Go for walks outside in more crowded areas, think about it like a video game and you are improving your social skills points, obviously you won’t go fight a dragon when you start out, you go for smaller enemies and build your way up, in this case its maybe just going for a walk outside and then improving when you get more comfortable. It won’t be easy
What a beautiful video, as a person fighting from social anxiety as well this gives me some more hope/motivation to get better. One of the best videos i've seen in a long time
Mr Manson, you have excelled yourself with this wonderful challenge. One of the best things I've seen in a very long time. It was so lovely watching Melinda smash it.👏👏👏👏
I have been suffering with Anxiety and Fear my entire life. I am finally trying to break free from these chains. This video literally brought me to tears. The isolation we create in ourselves keeps us from seeing the real reason we live. This was unbelievably mind opening. I have these thoughts in my mind of moving out to the country so I can isolate myself from others. This gives me this sense of comfort, like I will finally be happy all alone. I see now the my very problem, are the things I am trying to avoid. Thank you Mark, this was such a wonderful thing to see. What you did for that woman will change her life and all of the lives that surround her life. I am in such a bad place in my mind right now and I am struggling really hard. This was exactly what I needed to see today.
I'm happy for her that the whole process has helped her to overcome anxiety (at least to some extend), but I highly doubt whether it works in real life. There are at least two critical external factors that make the whole process work in her healing journey: 1. This two weeks of life is unordinary. People are more likely to act in a different way in such environement, simply because "nobody knows me here, and even if I screwed up I could just go away without any consequences"; 2. People were all really nice & willing to help her. However in reality there might be someone who is 1) jealous of you; 2) going to use you whenever there is a chance; 3) gossiping all the time etc. Of course we should assume everyone is nice in the first place, but we have to admit malicious people are definately there. Showing up vulnerability, for example, will only make the situation worse as they will use this information to attack us.
Probably one of the best social experiment videos on TH-cam. If anyone's interested, My dad used to beat me when I was a little kid, I hated school and left with no qualifications, discovered i'm dyslexic in my 40s and more. But for some strange reason curiosity has always been at the front. Maybe this has led me to not want to change a thing. I was and am the person who wants to know your life story, because everyone has one. Including my violent father who is now totally forgiven. Now in my 60s I've travelled, am a very successful photographer and trainer, wouldn't swap my dyslexia for all the tea in china because even though I struggle with an email, dyslexia allows me to do things others struggle with. I'm privileged to have learned through authentic conversations with people from the homeless to the deputy ruler of Sharjah in the United Arab Emirates, have received awards and more. EXCELLENT WORK MR MANSON. You rock.
Thanks for this video, Mark. I've had anxiety and a bit of depression on the side since my teenage years. I'm very conflicted about my own self-esteem and self-growth. I feel as though I'm lacking a lot. I need to go ahead and take measures somehow.
Amazing!👏 ❤ Very proud of you! It really resonated with me when you said you would think of yourself in all the social interactions throughout your life and how you were perceived instead of going into it curious about other people and what they have to say. I recently read "The 6 Habits of Growth" by Brendon Burchard and he said, instead of thinking 'here I am', think 'there you are' when being in a social interaction and it really stuck with me. Thanks for being so brave because it helps many! Great work Mark! You're awesome! 😊
melinda.. you did it! and so much more! I clapped like mad for you and cried like a baby. There are so many of us right where you were and wanting to be right where you are headed. Thank you for your bravery!
I learned the significance of "going first" principle when I was working in the Daycare center with children. I work part-time so I do different daycare centers each week and therefore have to learn to bond with kids very quickly. I observed that I felt more comfortable around those kids who deliberately came to me to tell something about what they did/happened recently or what they would do. For example: "I'm going to theatre after daycare", "My Dad will pick me up", "I went swimming yesterday", "I found a bug" etc. I think this can be applied to teenagers and adults as well, to just learn to go first about sharing something to your friends. You can then use this skill to start talking about things you would have been afraid of previously.
This isn’t what “getting over anxiety looks like.” It’s what dealing with anxiety looks like. We’re pretty damn good pretending. Addicts, anxious, depressed, name it. No one changes with two weeks of immersion or aversion. I think you may have even said that. I do hope the best for her, though. 💞💃💐🤷♀️
The more you are exposed to something you're afraid of the more you realize it's not scary. Talking to people in social situations won't hurt you, it's just your mind that makes you believe it will. I used to be way worse than her and I can talk to pretty much anyone now without anxiety. I actually...love people now🤗
Better said that I would say, certainly more polite. A couple of these tasks were borderline manipulative or abusive. Forcing someone to divulge personal information to a stranger isn't therapy. It's bullying.
@FernandoVazquez-ro1nw this isn't exposure therapy. Also wtf, are people not allowed to face their fears voluntarily unless a therapist is involved? Jesus Christ grow up.
This is so beautiful, I'm crying. It really hit me when she said that It feels like every social interaction is a test - this is exacly how I feel, the fear of judgement is terrifying. But I feel this video will influence my life too. Thanks, Mark!
Hi all, this is Melinda! 👋🏻 Your generous, supportive comments have been incredible to read. It's been so healing to see that many of you related to my story 💗
Also, in case you needed to hear this today... I know you might be sitting there watching this, feeling like you WANT to want real love and connection, but it just doesn't feel realistic or worth your effort. You might feel like connecting with others isn’t worth giving up your peace. It's not worth the racing heart and the panic attacks and the never-ending mental roller coaster that keeps you up all night. It's not worth putting yourself out there, only to feel constantly talked over and misunderstood.
But I know there's another part of you deep down that knows you deserve to experience real love and connection. And in your moments of strength and optimism (even if they're few and far between), the first step is to start loving and trusting YOURSELF first. Everything starts from there. I never would have been able to do this challenge if I hadn't decided 6 years ago that I deserved better than the shitty ways I was treating myself.
If you show yourself love (even if it feels fake for a while) and you take small steps to heal at your own pace, one day you'll wake up stunned to realize that you're not faking it anymore. You WILL feel that love for both yourself and others. You WILL be able to see real progress. And even though I know it might not seem like it right now, it IS worth it - and the fear becomes a dance partner instead of a demon.
Sending you all so much love. Take care of yourselves ❤
God bless you Melinda, very inspiring!
@@Julianrocker200 thank you so much! ❤️
Congratulations on getting out of it! It's really inspiring that you not only exposed yourself to all the people who took part in the challenge but all of us as well.
@@magicianwizard4294thank you so much! ❤ It’s getting easier all the time 😊
Good for you, it's great to see were not alone in this. This challenge has inspired me. Thank you.
melinda was already kind of a boss to want to do this ON CAMERA. This is actually the nightmare worst case scenario for anyone with social anxiety
Yea she's kind like goals already for a lot of anxious folks like me 😅
It takes on many different flavors. Some may be ok on camera, not face to face. Some just struggle with presentations but can chat at parties, etc
I mean its 10k who wouldn't do that
That's why offering the money makes this entire thing bogus and isn't healing at all.
seriously i was thinking the samething, i dont think i'd be vulnerable enough to let my family and friends watch me struggle with something everyone thinks is "easy". The sliver of pride i have in myself is hanging on the idea that my friends and family think i'm a functional human being who is veragely confident. EVEN with the way my finances are right now i'm not sure my social anxiety would take a backseat if someone like mark offered me tthis kinda money to do fun activities on camera lool.
How to Overcome Anxiety
1. Desensitization (get outside, talk to strangers, realize the awkwardness won’t kill you)
2. Curiosity (when you train yourself to be curious about others/new activities, you remove the constant focus away from yourself)
3. Humor (You’ll stop worrying what other ppl think of you when you realize how seldom they do)
4. Vulnerability (the going 1st principle)
5. Authenticity
Yoga, prayer and meditation worked for me.
Awesome, I have nontypical anxiety 🙃
I would add mindfulness. That's a big one. The book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels has good mindfulness practices I've enjoyed. Retraining the brain and its automatic reactions is important.
Diet actually cured all my phsyical anxiety weirdly enough, I no longer "feel" anxious, I can have anxious thoughts (although much less) but no longer feel it in my body.
@@TNTobin ppl do that on all videos. Are you new to TH-cam?
I can tell Mark approached this whole project from a place of love and empathy over anything else. All her challenges were approachable and usually fun and even funny. This is why Mark's work is so attractive to me. Breakthroughs are fun now, and they even have naughty words. Thanks for making this your life's work!
The breakthroughs hit a great zone of being simple approachable, interesting, and having real depth to them as opposed to other self-help advice, like that admiral who insists that making your bed in the morning will solve all your problems. I've found them really significant and applicable to my own life.
I feel like approaching anything we do from a place of love makes everything better
Anyone else tearing up from watching this?
Way to go Melinda, that was badass.
Love the video, Mark. Seeing these principles shown in a practical sense was a very powerful way to portray it. 👏
To anyone else out there facing similar things.
You got this.
I didn't tear up, I had something in my eye....***sniff,sniff***
Tear up? I cried my heart out at the end. Well done Mark, if there were only more people like you in the world.
+1
I teared up a lot- to get to live without this anxiety and enjoy being close to others would be such an amazing gift
As a former boy scout master, so many of the things I saw in this video are things that we worked through with scouts younger, many of whom have gravitated to scouting because of their own fears and anxieties, often at their parent's bidding ("maybe scouting can get him out of his shell..."). Success in front of their peers, overcoming failure through effort and systematic work, learning to put the group ahead of your own comfort, realizing that a little failure is good for you and no one hates you because of it but succeeding is so much sweeter, learning to lead... it is all so related to self confidence and social maturity.
Mark is better than any psychiatric doctor I have ever met. Instead of BS appointments and medication Mark helped this young lady via exposure therapy and “commiserating together”. He was an “active participant” in hear treatment and I can’t even imagine how much better she feels. Both of you did great. Looking forward to watching more of these videos.
While I have nothing against psychiatric meds and traditional therapy, you're dead on when it comes to exposure therapy and commiserating. When it comes to conquering your fears, the only way out is trough.
i agree but realistically a psychiatrist gets 1 hour with you per week, in an office setting. there's only so much they can do in that context.
And she won money! We just bleed money to the therapists...
@@cornocmaybe the whole idea of "1 hour in an office setting" is what's wrong. It's a very rigid structure to help with something that's so different for every person walking into it.
He is such a great mentor because he himself has LIVED through all these phases. Not like "professionals" that just learn theory and get a degree.
I like that unlike a lot of "self help" authors, you seem willing to actually go out and prove that what you say/do can help regular people. I look forward to the rest of this series for sure.
I'm a 19 year old guy and I cried through the whole video. To everyone suffering anxiety, you are heard, you are seen, and you are loved.
That's great bro, now go out and push yourself to overcome it
same. we'll get there too.
do hypnotherapy its the cure for social anxiety/any anxiety IMO
because you actually go back mentally/emotionally to the origin of the anxiety and resolve it
its what i did and i feel so much better and different its kinda crazy didnt realize humans could change this fast until now
You too!
i know, i sadly AM seen
It's so refreshing to see the action behind the "self-development" stuff.
This feels so real and raw, amazing Marc love the direction.
Great job Melinda.
Really good point, sometimes it can feel like self development is a hamster wheel, but stuff like this shows you how real change is possible.
Couldn't agree more, great point
The coolest thing about these videos is seeing how well someone I associate with writing transitiion over and succeed in a TH-cam content format
the coolest thing must be seeing one of my fav past youtubers comment on one of my fav current youtubers’ videos
I feel the same way! Mark is awesome
had a stroke reading this
the smithplays!
I didn't expect to find a former Zombies TH-camr here! Especially one that looked pretty social.
I went through that journey on my own, forcing myself to speak to strangers, dealing with their rejection etc, it was so powerful and all along people said I was a weirdo for challenging myself, but I became so much stronger for it. Well done on helping this lady Mark, and to anyone out their who is struggling, just take it one step at a time, in your own time, but push forward, moving outside your comfort zone makes your comfort zone rapidly expand
hmm rejection/abandonment has been a big thing for me XD Logically i know differently n i am better than i used to be, but its been a trigger since i was 4 -37yrs ago XD
How did u go about it?
I dont have a social anxiety im happy to chat to randoms, cos they 'mean nothing' as theres no emotional investment
@@kimwarburton8490 I'm in no way qualified to give advice so bare that in mind. But I had a very similar situation as in "I dont care about strangers cos they mean nothing" but I think that is one of the worst mindsets to approach the situation with. As Mark pointed out through this video, the best way to overcome your anxiety isn't courage, it's curiosity. How can you be curious if the person "means nothing" to you, maybe reframe your belief to be something more along the lines of "If this situation doesn't go well I don't need to see this stranger again." this will open up the potential to be curious whilst keeping the freedom of not being overly invested into whether the conversation/exchange goes well or poorly.
@@BradM This is an excellent response! :D
Problem is, if i like someone enough to BE curious about them, historically, a trauma pattern of fawning or freeze-mode* ensues.
Esp if i am romantically interested, i go into freeze, potential friends i have historically 'fawned' XD
I have had no social life since 2014 due to ill-health, so when im fully recovered and start making friends again, things likely to be different. Currently, i have very limited empirical evidence that i have changed/healed enough mentally/behaviourally/socially/confidence/boundries etc etc, so these fears of repeating past experiences live on.
(*where my brain and body cease to function and i am unable to communicate.
Not in the cute comedy film way, but in a i literally only hear noise, not words because my brain shuts down kinda freeze mode.
I can only apologise and blame/explain ME/CFS diagnosis, but it is also rejection trauma from when i was 4/5/6)
I think what i need to do most is get out of my own head, stop analysing and fearing 'x', worry less about whether im 'good enough/worthy enough' to be included by them and more about IF i genuinely like THEM in the first place. I have also rushed into friendships that were ... not good. I intend to be choosier about who i let into my life -no toxics etc
Does that resonate?
This is like an awesome Mr. Beast/Self-Help/Psychology mashup. Love the direction this channel is taking. Feels like a genuine and natural progression of your writing and course work. Nice job, Mark!
It would be fantastic to see a follow up in 6 months!
You rock, Mark. It's inspiring to see Melinda find more of her courage and curiosity. She's set an example for all of us who live within our heads rather than the world.
Agreed , would love to see a follow up. Was hoping it would be at the end of the video
as someone who has anxiety this would do nothing
The fact that she laughs when she’s anxious is actually kind of adorable and makes her come across very warm and friendly.
You're making the world a better place one step at a time, well done!
Yes yes yes 🙌
Agree with this! Thank you for the inspiration and spreading awareness regarding social anxiety.
No he’s not, he’s making it worse. Mark sucks
That was really beautiful. This video made me cry. I’ve suffered from social anxiety my whole life and it’s nice to see others making strides to overcome it. I just assumed life would always be this way. This gives me hope which I lost a long time ago. I’m even terrified to post this comment but I’ll do it.
Yay, you did the going first thing 😊 I struggle more some days and less others, I’ve learnt about my self that I have a limit on how many hours I can interact with people before I’m topped out. Respecting my own needs helps me trust myself. And I find that people are a lot nicer than I have expected them to be, I’m learning to expect kindness and friendliness more, and building trust to look after myself when they aren’t. 😊😊
This was deeply moving. Melinda, thank you for sharing your vulnerability and Mark, thank you being the catalyst.
Saw Mark in a normal human space for the first time. Idk In his TH-cam videos he seems to me like someone who would just ignore you in the crowd with a weird looking face, but he seems genuine caring person in this video. Well done, Mark, you'll always be the big difference in Melinda's life
As someone who actively works on their own social anxiety and pushes himself to improve on a daily basis, I appreciate this video. Thanks for everything you do mark!
Its so emotional to see Milinda improve through this process, nd I'm watching her improving, and in stage 5 when all invited her with claps - surprise.... Literally i got emotional by seeing how confidently she was speaking, and sharing learnings... ❤️Its just so powerful..!!!
Crazy how the 10K cheque incentive probably didn't matter. Getting rid of anxiety is priceless.
Btw, thank you Mark for writing Models. I'm reading it at the moment and applying everything I've learned from it to my actual social life. It helps me a lot. Wish I did it sooner, but better late than never!
You gotta be joking with that first sentence lol
@@NicoPinilla97You're right in that 10k probably did initially incentivize her to do the uncomfortable things, but after doing all the stages having no social anxiety is worth way more than that
I suffered from social anxiety all my life and i never knew what it was called until my mid 20s. growing up in a Hispanic household in the 90s, anxiety was never spoken of mainly because there wasn’t any knowledge about it but now as an adult i understand what causes my anxiety and i can find resources to help myself. i needed to watch this. thank you for everything you do Mark!
Wow, that was fucking beautiful, I cried my ass off during her speech. All the unfolding of her person in so little time, overcoming something (we) think is stuck with us for our entire lives. When you overcome things like anxiety in your life, you know how liberating it feels. It brought me back to my moments of liberation, but also how beautiful it is to see other humans free themselves. Bravo to Melinda!
This actually made me cry at the end. The only way to cure anxiety is to face it head on and this video is an example of that. As an anxious person myself it's so important to remember the suffering comes from our perspective and that by changing our perspective we can change the way we see life. Well done to mark for changing her life that's something that money can't buy
Imagine healing someone's anxiety. It's going to open a whole new aspect of life for her. Well done Mark! You have my respect.
It would be amazing to see Melinda and how she's doing in 6 months or even a year. Seeing the long term effects of this experiment would be really interesting!
Man I am seeing your content for almost three years. Read your books in 2018.
But hands down I can say this is the best thing you have ever done. Love you mark . Keep changing lifes ❤
She is one of the most adorable people I’ve seen and Mark you’re goddamn superhero. Finally through your recent videos I can see a small beam of light in these so dark and depressing times.
FINALLY MY Wait Is Now Ended ❤❤❤
Sweet Melinda sounds like an HSP, her light sure shines like one. Exquisitely sensitive nervous system, walking antenna picking up everyone else's energy, the feelings are so loud that it's hard to hear your own thoughts. Spend a lifetime trying to decipher your feelings from everyone else's and learn how to manage this gift, substances are a common way of coping. Finding that piece to my puzzle has changed my life. Love the video, all very helpful info. ❤
It's not about getting rid of your anxiety but learning to play with it, it's all about changing your perspective! damn I watched this twice lol I've struggled with anxiety over the tiniest things and thought it would never go away but this really give me hope
Hi Sohee I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? 🌺Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹
I was moved to tears as I went on this journey with Melinda.Mark, you are an incredible human with a huge heart and I am so glad I crossed your path. Thank you for all you do for everyone ... those who make themselves visible to you, but mostly ... on behalf of those who are silent. xo
😍 *Your COURAGE to 1, embark on this journey for yourself & 2, share it, is such a GIFT to yourself and those of us who witness it. Thank you, Melinda. 💚 There's so much power & healing in VULNERABILITY.* 🙏🏾
I love this direction you're taking the channel, Mark! As someone who has struggled with anxiety on and off over my life and finally is in a place where I feel great and comfortable and even energized around people, especially new people, this video literally brought tears to my eyes. Keep up what you're doing!
This is the kind of social experiment that could change people’s lives what a creative and altruistic project I loved how much she transformed with every task i feel like she even looks different towards the end!
What a great change for a already great woman. Her giggly laughter and wide smile makes me happy! I wish you the best! Thank you for sharing this happy story.
Good on you, Mark. For ALSO trying something new and braving this direction.
Life doesn't come with cheat codes or walk throughs - so we cope - and many of us disappear along the way.
Life is good, when you can figure out what is holding you back. A lot of us are being held back and we don't know why or how to get away from it. We all need help, love and understanding.
Thank you Mark and Melinda for sharing your hearts and wisdom. This video speaks volumes. I also suffer with a degree of social anxiety and have felt disconnected from others since being a teenager until today, ( I 'm in my thirties). After almost twenty years of therapy and medication, I'm still struggling, so it feels good to know there's hope and much more people going through the same..For all of you I send love and encouragement. It's not an easy world but if we take a tiny step every day, things will change ( at least I hope so!)
awe I has the genuine feels for this. I don't know her but I'm incredibly proud of her. I think anxiety is something you probably never "get over" but just learn to dance with and befriend. Cheers to her success going forward and hugs to anyone who deals with this on a daily basis.
Such a beautiful video. I suffered from social anxiety my whole life. Seeing Melinda go through these challenges and coming out the other side with a new perspective on life feels so inspiring
Yes it was inspiring hope you are dealing with your anxiety better as well
Writing this comment is hard because of my social anxiety but less with videos like that. So helping and genuine, thanks Mark !
Same here, this video made me smile. Seeing how she made it through each challenge. I watched the video, but was scared to write a comment until I saw this 😂
I straightaway teared up towards the end of this video, Mark. What a brilliant way to help someone deal with their anxiety, and help people grow in their lives. As someone who has struggled from anxiety and depression from a long time due to various past traumas, I would definately do something like this even if there was no reward, no money at the end.
Keep doing this Mark, it always makes me happy to watch such videos and how you make a difference in people's lives. Thank you.
As someone who suffers from social anxiety too, I was able to relate to Melinda a lottt. This was super inspirational and imma try those tips because I want to change too. Thanks Mark and Melinda for having the courage to do this! 💗💗
What will you try first?
@@JeeYaoKuneDo probably desensitization, like just being more social and talking to strangers
@@pepethefrog2 Nice! Best of luck 👏
You can do it! I did it. The first thing you'll be surprised to learn is that a lot of people are just as scared as you.
❤
This video had a big impact on me. Especially since that song you played was once something I listened to every day when I was a depressed teenager/young adult.
😍 Bravo storytelling! I completely forgot about the $10,000 prize at the end bc I was so invested in seeing her growth. Props to the editor.
So proud of both of you. Inspiring as f. It's nice to see a selfhelp going out in the field and really helping people. Can't wait to see more
I love how creative you are with helping people solve their problems.
You’re the most interesting writer I know!
This was AWESOME! She seemed so much more grounded throughout the process. Good job Melinda and Marc :)
I can't believe I'm about to write this, but I've been dealing with the exact same struggle as she has my entire life (tho I have no one special to change for), I realized I have been doing some of these stages in the past 1-2 weeks (out of order tho) and I feel like my own subconcious and universe has been trying to tell me to keep at it, not to regress back into my shell.
I just went out for the first time in months having an amazing time and not reacting to everything as a defence mechanism (as I usually do), It's the most motivated I've been to finally let myself be ME and not care what others thing.
I come back, open TH-cam and this is the first video I see.
I'm a logical man of science, but I really hope this is destiny!
Thank you Mark, only found this channel because my dad recommended it to me the other month.
Her laughs are so intense and full of life and joy! I know this series is going to be awesome and wholesome. Love from Iran!
Love from Iran
This came at a right time because I’ve been eager to talk to a new student in my grade but my social anxiety has been keeping me away from that opportunity. I’m just grateful that I now have a completely new perspective on socializing, rather than seeing it as a test
Best tip I ever got is to start with a compliment😊 Works every time
This is beyond inspiring! To be vulnerable enough to even be brave enough to do this to begin with has inspired me!
The fact you’re out there supporting people directly as well as creating content is why I think you’re my favourite TH-cam creator.
Hey Mark! I'm a huge fan of your work, and your book has genuinely impacted my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. I've been religiously following your TH-cam videos and absolutely love the content you bring forth.
Quick audio tip for you: Try standing a bit further from the mic, cutting the low end at 100kHz, and adding some compression. This could really boost your sound quality.
100kHz? I don't think that's anywhere near the low end, lol
@@Bazzguitwhoops 100Hz
Love this! Getting into a career in sales was my personal opportunity to put these principles into action by being forced to call and connect with strangers! It definitely helped me build authentic confidence and I’m committed to helping more people use a career in sales to break through their own glass ceilings, become more self expressed, and make meaningful connections and a lot of money along the way!
Hi Mark! I loved this video thoroughly! I can't thank you enough for the work you do, I am ever so indebted. I feel she (Melinda) is so fortunate to go through this challenge with you in person. I have read a little bit about you and a few books you published. They are all awesome. I am on a journey to read every book you've ever written, but above all I would love to meet you in person as soon as I can. Listening to you, reading your books feels like being saved from drowning into the sea of anxiety, depression, and mental trauma. Thank you once again for being there, being a beacon lamp, being such a nice and noble person 🙏💗😇
Wooh man, I didn't expect I would cry watching this. I relate to Melinda in so many levels. She's so brave and inspiring. ❤
Cheers ✨🥂 Melinda and Mark!!! As a person who’s always suffered w/ anxiety - this brought tears to my eyes! Didn’t think I could love you or your work any more than I already do, Mark - but I was wrong!!! Bravo 👏🏽 ✨🥳. Just incredible
I loved every single second of this video.Thank you for taking this route, Mark. You continue being an inspiration for so many people.
This video is awesome and yet again proves “ in vivo therapy” ie just go and do it in real life is the best way. If she sat around and intellectualized /spoke abstractly about her anxiety she would never make this progress.
A beautiful and touching story! Great lessons to help people who deal with anxiety, whether big or small.
Thanks for sharing this, Mark! This is a very original way to help and educate people at the same time with your usual humor and insightful philosophy. Can't wait to watch the next one!
This was AMAZING!!! So genuine you weren’t kidding when you said you were going to do something big, different, totally real.
Melinda beautiful to watch you blossom.
So many elements of my life here…. Thank you for blazing the way.
PS :I went to high school in Saskatoon … nice city full of really really nice real people!!!
This was so beautifully wholesome Mark. You truly are making the world a much better place. Thank you for the smiles, the wisdom, and as always, the authenticity. Cheers🎉
Man I feel like we all need to go through these uncomfortable things to realize things aren’t as scary as we make them out to be. Absolutely loved seeing the journey she went through and I’m so happy to see how she changed by just forcing herself to go through some challenges.
This is absolutely gold for anyone with social anxiety. Will make you save like 3 years of faulty tactics and methods. And avoid sooo much suffering
Great direction for the channel. Awesomeness!
One tip: for the story telling voice over, try to replace all past tense verbs to present tense. So instead of "As we talked in the car afterward, Melinda's entire demeanor had changed" say "As we talk in the car, notice that Melinda's demeanor is very different." Or, instead of "Something incredible happened," say "What happens next is incredible." It helps the viewer to feel like it's happening now, which is far more interesting than something that happened already. Ya know what I'm saying? It commands a higher level of attention. Almost as if to say "don't blink or you will miss this!"
Looking forward to new videos!
Thank you for sharing this tip.
hmm yeah but i think this is good, it will become more like other youtubers content like pranks and vlogs stuff. his past tense verbs feels more like smthin serious business lol but kinda suits this genre
Holy shit, you're getting comments from the Microsoft Word paperclip!
Doesn't sound great.
@@leedsmanc HIS NAME IS CLIPPY!
Sometimes the biggest thing standing in our way is ourselves.
Melinda, I feel so much joy seeing you conquer your fears. You're inspiring many of us to do the same.
You are doing amazing work, Mark!
This is internet gold! The production is A1! Well, done Mark!
When it is just you behind a desk in front of a camera, you seem a little jaded, but when you are actually with people - you have such an easy going way about you.
Incredible journey to watch. Continue changing the life of millions. Thanks mark❤❤
She has the sweetest laugh ❤ .. And that laugh has a lot of stories and lessons to tell.
Keep it up Mark! I've been waiting for this video to be release. I hope one day I can be a part of your videos/channel.
Thank you.
You rock Mark!
This show feels like the most sincere and real on TH-cam.
Mark is going to redefine what it means to me to be a good author, can't wait to see more live getting improved, gotta read the book again I guess
Incredible video. I would love to see an update in 6 months to see how Melinda is getting along. What a terrific idea! More videos like this please!
It’s a great idea to help people and show on practices what to do. Reading a book it’s just a small step to understand what to do. I like your approach to help people. It’s very inspiring. 👏
Hi Anna I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? 🌺Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹
18:06 Felt really cute when Melinda was talking about that we can't do anything in life without the help of others and at that time the camera showed two girls holding hands. And wow what a way she told us a story that it made me feeling a sense of connection with Melinda as I also face social anxiety.
If you're interested in participating in a video like this, fill out the form here: mrk.mn/youtube
She's so cute though. Why would she be nervous?
WOW😮....I would, but I'm waaay worse than her...I'd be the biggest pain in ya'lls ass. That was so wonderful for her😄🎉It was really great, thank you!!!
i would, but im in another contry :(
You should actually take what you are doing with this Idea of helping people and make it a TV series on main stream TV.
Ty, but honestly I am so tired. I don't have, even a passport.
This gives me so many memories and feelings of when I had social anxiety where I would pretend to do other things to get other people's approval.
After being deployed, my friends told me that I needed to ask more questions while doing training since I was quiet/introverted letting life play itself whether I succeeded or not.
I learned a lot after coming back knowing living life to the fullest knowing it can end at any moment. It doesn't matter what happens as long as you do it with the kindness of your heart and be vulnerable about it giving to the world.
I thought I'd share this.
For someone who has social anxiety she seems incredibly comfortable in front of a camera. I can't even speak to a freaking answer machine let alone talk into a camera that comfortably.
be quiet your not special you just spend too much time online and dont talk to people
Go for walks outside in more crowded areas, think about it like a video game and you are improving your social skills points, obviously you won’t go fight a dragon when you start out, you go for smaller enemies and build your way up, in this case its maybe just going for a walk outside and then improving when you get more comfortable.
It won’t be easy
Yes, exactly. Maybe it's fake, idk
What a beautiful video, as a person fighting from social anxiety as well this gives me some more hope/motivation to get better. One of the best videos i've seen in a long time
That's beautiful and amazing what you did for her, Mark!
Mr Manson, you have excelled yourself with this wonderful challenge. One of the best things I've seen in a very long time. It was so lovely watching Melinda smash it.👏👏👏👏
Thank you Mark for improving the World... Also by sharing the journey of someone transformed to a new himself/herself
wdym himself lol
This is the most genius topic I have ever seen on TH-cam, great job Mark and Melinda!
Thanks Mark, for being inspiring for us. I've learned a lot from you ❤
I have been suffering with Anxiety and Fear my entire life. I am finally trying to break free from these chains. This video literally brought me to tears. The isolation we create in ourselves keeps us from seeing the real reason we live. This was unbelievably mind opening. I have these thoughts in my mind of moving out to the country so I can isolate myself from others. This gives me this sense of comfort, like I will finally be happy all alone. I see now the my very problem, are the things I am trying to avoid. Thank you Mark, this was such a wonderful thing to see. What you did for that woman will change her life and all of the lives that surround her life. I am in such a bad place in my mind right now and I am struggling really hard. This was exactly what I needed to see today.
I'm happy for her that the whole process has helped her to overcome anxiety (at least to some extend), but I highly doubt whether it works in real life.
There are at least two critical external factors that make the whole process work in her healing journey:
1. This two weeks of life is unordinary. People are more likely to act in a different way in such environement, simply because "nobody knows me here, and even if I screwed up I could just go away without any consequences";
2. People were all really nice & willing to help her. However in reality there might be someone who is 1) jealous of you; 2) going to use you whenever there is a chance; 3) gossiping all the time etc. Of course we should assume everyone is nice in the first place, but we have to admit malicious people are definately there. Showing up vulnerability, for example, will only make the situation worse as they will use this information to attack us.
She gained confidence that can take her further... Also most daily situations are not as challenging as these ones.
Probably one of the best social experiment videos on TH-cam. If anyone's interested, My dad used to beat me when I was a little kid, I hated school and left with no qualifications, discovered i'm dyslexic in my 40s and more. But for some strange reason curiosity has always been at the front. Maybe this has led me to not want to change a thing. I was and am the person who wants to know your life story, because everyone has one. Including my violent father who is now totally forgiven. Now in my 60s I've travelled, am a very successful photographer and trainer, wouldn't swap my dyslexia for all the tea in china because even though I struggle with an email, dyslexia allows me to do things others struggle with. I'm privileged to have learned through authentic conversations with people from the homeless to the deputy ruler of Sharjah in the United Arab Emirates, have received awards and more. EXCELLENT WORK MR MANSON. You rock.
Thanks for this video, Mark. I've had anxiety and a bit of depression on the side since my teenage years. I'm very conflicted about my own self-esteem and self-growth. I feel as though I'm lacking a lot. I need to go ahead and take measures somehow.
you will get through it.
You nailed it again Mark, everything you do is genious. You are becoming a legend for so many people. Cheers from Colombia.
You rock Mark ❣️
We're all rooting for you so hard, Melinda! Way to go!
Amazing Video!
Amazing!👏 ❤ Very proud of you! It really resonated with me when you said you would think of yourself in all the social interactions throughout your life and how you were perceived instead of going into it curious about other people and what they have to say. I recently read "The 6 Habits of Growth" by Brendon Burchard and he said, instead of thinking 'here I am', think 'there you are' when being in a social interaction and it really stuck with me. Thanks for being so brave because it helps many! Great work Mark! You're awesome! 😊
Loved it. Made me cry and laugh. Thank you for this. ❤🥦
melinda.. you did it! and so much more! I clapped like mad for you and cried like a baby. There are so many of us right where you were and wanting to be right where you are headed. Thank you for your bravery!
I absolutely love melenda's laugh😂😂
I learned the significance of "going first" principle when I was working in the Daycare center with children. I work part-time so I do different daycare centers each week and therefore have to learn to bond with kids very quickly. I observed that I felt more comfortable around those kids who deliberately came to me to tell something about what they did/happened recently or what they would do. For example: "I'm going to theatre after daycare", "My Dad will pick me up", "I went swimming yesterday", "I found a bug" etc. I think this can be applied to teenagers and adults as well, to just learn to go first about sharing something to your friends. You can then use this skill to start talking about things you would have been afraid of previously.
This isn’t what “getting over anxiety looks like.” It’s what dealing with anxiety looks like. We’re pretty damn good pretending. Addicts, anxious, depressed, name it. No one changes with two weeks of immersion or aversion. I think you may have even said that. I do hope the best for her, though. 💞💃💐🤷♀️
The more you are exposed to something you're afraid of the more you realize it's not scary. Talking to people in social situations won't hurt you, it's just your mind that makes you believe it will. I used to be way worse than her and I can talk to pretty much anyone now without anxiety. I actually...love people now🤗
I'm afraid you are right
Exposure therapy is supposed to be done by a qualified licensed therapist
Better said that I would say, certainly more polite. A couple of these tasks were borderline manipulative or abusive. Forcing someone to divulge personal information to a stranger isn't therapy. It's bullying.
@FernandoVazquez-ro1nw this isn't exposure therapy. Also wtf, are people not allowed to face their fears voluntarily unless a therapist is involved? Jesus Christ grow up.
This is so beautiful, I'm crying. It really hit me when she said that It feels like every social interaction is a test - this is exacly how I feel, the fear of judgement is terrifying. But I feel this video will influence my life too. Thanks, Mark!