SP33DY! I have a great idea! There isn't much room in the tree house, so I was thinking that maybe you could build a ladder tunnel down the trunk of the tree house and have a little storage room in the root area. Like this so he can see! (even though I have no clue if that works with the new comment system...)
BDubs is not going to be part of the Crew, and is not joining the server. He simply was on this episode because KYR is friends with Bdubs and wanted him to build a treehouse.
Speedy i love you but i have started to notice that you have been taking off your clothes a lot more in all the crew videos and you have might have some issues, i am sorry i think you need help
speedy you're gonna want to use your majestic sheep farm to make carpet and put carpet down in the treehouse and you definitely need an extension on the house to be able to jump down straight into the water
they're all all awesome. once i get my youtube career starting im waiting for the moment sp33dy sais "today we have a special guest, Dealerkiller (my nickname)".
10,000 like! I would like to thank my dog for taking the time to go outside and poop instead of on my tablet, and my fish, for not evolving into a mermaid and killing me when I forget to feed it. I would like to thank my sister, for doing absolutely nothing, and not bugging me while I'm wasting my life on the internet. And I would also like to thank all the little people out there, like ants, and Barbies, for letting me call them people. THANK YOU WORLD
Since sidearms is always with sp33dy and never leaves his side when bdouble0100 is talking to sp33dy all buddy buddy you can tell the way sidearms talks he is either jealous or just doesn't like bdoube0100, don't worry i can help just skype me :D P,S Sp33dy you're are just the funniest TH-camr ever!!!
WORLD WAR Z The Abridged Script FADE IN: A NEWS MONTAGE hints at the coming ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE while also introducing the soundtrack by MUSE, painstakingly crafted by playing the final track of the 2ND LAW album over and over and over again. INT. BRAD PITT'S HOUSE BRAD prepares for his normal, routine day with his wife MIREILLE ENOS. BRAD PITT Wait a sec... so the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened yet? Isn't the whole book set AFTER the... MIREILLE ENOS It is. But the guys adapting it got stuck on the front cover, so congrats, you're starring in a summer blockbuster based on a title. BRAD PITT And I see we have two adorable little escort missions, er I mean, daughters. Can't wait to holler your names through panicked crowds later. (thinks) Any reason there couldn't just be one of you? BRAD'S DAUGHTERS Nope. EXT. CITY STREET The BRADMILY is stuck in traffic. BRAD PITT I swear, if is this is another one of those make-work construction projects I'm gonna... POLICEMAN (running wildly) AW GAWD ZOMBIES EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIVES!!!! BRAD PITT That's a relief. Looks like we're getting straight to the action! Buckle up kids, this is gonna be zombie carnage on a scale never seen before. We're talking GLOBAL amounts of gore and evisceration that... MIREILLE ENOS Er, don't forget that this movie is, itself, ALSO single-mindedly bent on achieving worldwide saturation. BRAD PITT Huh? Why would that matter... The ZOMBIE HORDE arrives!! LIMBS and SEVERED HEADS and BLOOD and ENTRAILS fly in all directions as There is lots of censor-friendly SCREAMING and RUNNING AROUND in a SUITABLE FOR MASS MARKET fashion! BRAD PITT I see your point. Well, an undead plague sanitized for international consumption is still an undead plague, I guess. Let's go!! The BRADMILY makes a run for it! BRAD uses his SOUND MIXING powers to focus in on ONE SPECIFIC VICTIM. BRAD PITT Based on a sample size of that one guy, I now know for a fact that it takes exactly 12 seconds to become a zombie. Although since he started convulsing and howling after about two seconds, I could probably mark that down under "right away". They corral an RV and make a GETAWAY, but one of the DAUGHTERS turns out to have been BITTEN, forcing BRAD to make an unthinkable choice while raising the emotional stakes to intense heights of has an ASTHMA ATTACK! They park outside a PHARMACY. INT. PHARMACY BRAD finds the HELPFUL GUN-TOTING PHARMACIST section and gets the asthma meds! Unfortunately MIREILLE takes a wrong turn into the SEXUAL ASSAULT AISLE requiring another DRAMATIC ESCAPE! BRAD PITT Aw fuck those fucking cockfucking cuntfuckers stole our fucking Dangit, the RV's been stolen, with all our gear! MIREILLE ENOS At least I found us some flares during the ten seconds I wasn't busy fighting off gang rapists. BRAD PITT Seriously?! Wow, you're every bit as cool-headed and resourceful as me, if not more. Too bad that was your last positive contribution to this entire story. They duck into an APARTMENT BUILDING and are taken in by a HISPANIC FAMILY. BRAD PITT I feel a strange paternal instinct towards this child from another culture. Remember kid, movement is life. Staying put is death. HISPANIC KID You mean like the scientists at the end who go nowhere and are fine? Or the soldiers in Korea who are fine until they try to help you go somewhere? BRAD PITT No more lines for you. INT. APARTMENT TOWER - THE NEXT MORNING BRAD PITT We need to get to the roof. I called my U.N. buddy Fana Mokoena and he's sending a helicopter to come get us. MIREILLE ENOS Are you sure we should risk it? What if they don't make it, or aren't really coming at all, and we get trapped up there? We'd be doomed. BRAD PITT (grimly) There's no other choice. It's a huge gamble but we have to take a leap of faith, which will also ratchet up the suspense as... CUT TO: INT. HELICOPTER CHOPPER PILOT WOO-HOO BRAD RESCUE IS UNDERWAAAY!! CHOPPER GUNNER Suspense element targeted, locked and destroyed!! OO-RAH!! CUT TO: INT. APARTMENTS BRAD PITT ...oh. Everyone heads up the STAIRS but then ZOMBIES AIIEEEE STAIRS RUSH ARRRGH BRAD DAUGHTER RUN ENOS LOOK OUT FLARE MIREILLE RAAAARRRGH SCREAM CRASH KEEP GOING HISPANIC AIIEEEE PITT ZOMBIES NOOOO FIGHT CHOMP ARRRRGH EXT. ROOFTOP The BRADMILY arrives on the roof! MIREILLE ENOS Holy fuck cow what just happened?! BRAD PITT I think I maybe got bit by a zombie. Or we might have made a baby, it was really unclear. (pause) Anyway I'll use the 12-second rule to make sure I won't turn, starting now, even though way more than 12 seconds have already passed. Just then the HELICOPTER arrives in the FOREGROUND in 3D! CHOPPER PILOT Quick, even though you could all easily be infected, please pile aboard our chopper! BRAD PITT (squinting) Hey, you're Matthew Fox. Why are you Matthew Fox? MATTHEW FOX (pause) No reason. EXT. AMERICAN NAVAL FLEET The HELICOPTER hovers in the FOREGROUND in 3D as the BRADMILY is greeted by FANA MOKOENA. BRAD PITT Fana, I'm so happy we got out, let me rush towards you and plant my mouth on your head, surely the smartest thing to do when surrounded by armed soliders freaking out about zombies! FANA MOKOENA Oh that's okay, after all, the incubation time is different for different people so you could still turn any second now. BRAD PITT Really? FANA MOKOENA Yeah, we realized that if everyone followed the 12-second rule there was no way in hell the virus could get across the ocean, and we'd have no movie. BRAD PITT Well, I will continue to use the 12-second rule, and because I am the star it will always be right. FANA MOKOENA (shrugs) It's not like we're going to take any precautions anyway. So as you've perhaps guessed, the zombies are everywhere on Earth and the human race is in danger of extinction. Civilization as we know it has ended. Did you want to pause and react in any way to this devastating news? BRAD PITT Not really. I figure I'll save my big emotional moment for when somebody the audience cares about gets zombified... (checks script) Huh, that never happens. So what's the plan? FANA MOKOENA We need you to go to South Korea, because we found an email there that mentioned zombies and it is the only email in existence to ever do that. Then, since we threw away the original story, you'll be going to a variety of global locations until imminent catastrophe forces you to rush to the plane taking off just in the nick of time, which gets you to the next location, and so on... basically "2012" except with zombies instead of natural disasters. "Z01Z", if you will. BRAD PITT Fine, whatever. (pause) What if I told you I'd rather stay here to protect my family, surrounded by battleships and soldiers, rather than go help thwart the zombie plague and save humanity, which includes my family? FANA MOKOENA (chuckling) Right, like you'd agree to play a lead character so selfish and cowardly. That's a good one! Now let's get you a fresh scarf. INT. PLANE The PLANE HOVERS in the FOREGROUND in 3D as it takes BRAD, a SCIENTIST, and some UN SOLDIERS to KOREA. SCIENTIST I believe the zombie plague came from natural causes. But there's a thing about Nature. (actual line) Sometimes, what you think is its greatest strength, is ACTUALLY its greatest weakness. BRAD PITT Which in this case means what? We'll turn its astonishing virulence, exponential rate of growth, and near-invulnerability against it? SCIENTIST Well no, what we'll really do is exploit a secondary characteristic to our advantage. BRAD PITT (nodding) "It's not a bug, it's a feature." SCIENTIST Exactly. But when you eventually figure it out, be sure to use my "strength/weakness" line, it sounds more impressive that way. EXT. LANDING STRIP - KOREA The PLANE LANDS in the FOREGROUND in 3D but ZOMBIES attack! The SCIENTIST trips and TOTALLY BLOWS HIS OWN BRAINS OUT IN A SPLATTER OF BLOODY SKULL it is STRONGLY IMPLIED that something VERY BAD HAPPENS TO HIM! BRAD and the UN SOLDIERS reach the US BASE. US SOLDIERS OOO-RAH!! WE FUCK UP ZEKES WHO WANNA FUCK US UP, WE FUCK THEM RIGHT IN THE ZOMBIE TWAT Golly, welcome aboard, Brad! We sure hope we can be helpful. BRAD PITT Me too, since the one guy who knew anything is now dead. SOLDIER Oh. Then we've got nothing. BRAD PITT Nothing at all? SOLDIER Nope. BRAD PITT Really? SOLDIER (sighs) Okay, we have one CIA dude who says he has critical information about the zombies. But THAT'S IT. They take him to see DAVID MORSE who has gone CRAY CRAY. DAVID MORSE (conspiratorially) So two years ago, Jerusalem built a giant honkin wall around itself that is visible from space. BRAD PITT Oh my God, that is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would never be noticed by every news channel and government on Earth, and I could only learn from a deranged spy!! This must be crucially important, I've gotta get back to my plane. SOLDIER All right. Since the Zekes are drawn by sound, we'll use creaky old bicycles to take a path ten times as long as we took before. BRAD PITT This is the best possible time to leave my phone on! Sure enough the phone RINGS halfway there! ZOMBIES attack, but BRAD and a DIFFERENT SOLDIER make it to the plane and TAKE OFF! BRAD PITT (on phone) Mireille, was that you calling me just now? MIREILLE ENOS Yeah, I got bored with being written out of the movie. Thought we could chat. BRAD PITT Well since I'm busy being dropped into various zombie-infested locations, how about from now on DO NOT CALL ME I WILL CALL YOU. EXT. JERUSALEM A HELICOPTER hovers in the FOREGROUND in 3D as BRAD lands and meets Israeli soldier DANIELLA KERTESZ. DANIELLA KERTESZ Welcome. As you see, we built an enormous anti-zombie wall all the way around the city, with a nice smooth top just in case they ever reach it. BRAD PITT And all the time you've had this, it never struck you to add spikes or barbed wire to the top, or to have guards there, or use any of the other hundreds-of-years-old techniques that exist to stop people from going over walls? DANIELLA KERTESZ Nope. But we DO have mesh tunnels to let tons more humans inside, because we have limitless food and water and space. However somebody sets up a LOUDSPEAKER which suddenly makes the CITY CRAMMED WITH HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE just that extra little bit TOO NOISY!! BRAD PITT Yoiks, the zombies are cresting the wall! But you must have a fallback position, or a Plan B, or something, right? DANIELLA KERTESZ Nope, we are now completely monkeyfucked in a spot of bother. BRAD PITT I guess it's run-to-the-plane time again! They RUN but DANIELLA gets bit in the hand! BRAD PITT Don't worry, I saw this on Walking Dead! BRAD TOTALLY CHOPS OFF DANIELLA'S HAND AND THE EXPOSED STUMP SPRAYS BLOOD EVERYWHERE makes a THWACKING SOUND and now DANIELLA'S HAND is missing! DANIELLA KERTESZ AIEEEE! I know it's tradition for zombie-movie characters to shrug off severed limbs like paper cuts, but I think I'll buck tradition and actually go into shock for a while. BRAD PITT Can't you grow a new hand or shoot guns with your feet or something? DANIELLA KERTESZ Look, Sandler's "Zohan" movie was not entirely accurate, okay? Let's get to your plane and... ARMY PILOT (taking off) FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Sorry, can't wait. Best of luck though! Instead BRAD and DANIELLA get to a PASSENGER JET which has been patiently waiting to be allowed to taxi out of the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. As they TAKE OFF, BRAD uses his MONTAGE POWERS to come to an IMPORTANT REALIZATION! He calls MIREILLE. BRAD PITT Mireille, quick, put Fana on before you accidentally participate in this scene! FANA MOKOENA (on phone) Okay, I'm here. What's going on? BRAD PITT Listen to me there's NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! NONE AT ALL!! Okay in that time I could have said "the zombies ignore fatally diseased people" but THERE'S NO TIME!! TELL THE PILOT WHERE THE CLOSEST W.H.O. BASE IS and I could have told you my theory a second time by now! FANA MOKOENA (on phone) Okay, that's taken care of. So what's the theory about saving everyone and hello? Hello? They FLY in the FOREGROUND in 3D for a while. BRAD PITT (frowns) Thought I heard something... hm, it sounds like screaming and panic on the other side of that curtain. I wonder what it could possibly be. Let's have a look. (looks) SHIT FUCK Oh geez guys, there's zombies on the plane! Quick, stack some luggage here, that way when the zombies burst through you can be pinned down by zombies AND luggage! The luggage plan EPIC FAILS just about as spectacularly as you'd expect. Luckily BRAD'S CARRY-ON LUGGAGE is a GRENADE and he uses it to BLOW THE PLANE IN HALF! EXT. IRELAND - IN A TREE BRAD PITT (regaining consciousness) Hrnn... I'm alive! But arrgh, my left arm is a mangled pulp of exposed sinew and I have the obligatory nonlethal Shrapnel-Through-The-Torso.™ I sure hope Daniella is miraculously okay. DANIELLA KERTESZ Yup! BRAD uses his INTERNAL GPS POWERS to find the WHO LAB but the effort causes him to PASS OUT. INT. WHO LABORATORIES BRAD wakes up strapped to a TABLE and surrounded by suspicious doctors PETER CAPALDI, PIERFRANCESCO FAVINO, and RUTH NEGGA who is a living testament to the importance of proofreading. PETER CAPALDI Hee hee, we're all credited as "WHO Doctor", which is like Doctor Who backwards. Hee hee. RUTH NEGGA Quiet, Peter. We have to be hugely suspicious of Brad, even though his companion is awake and should have explained everything to us already. PIERFRANCESCO FAVINO Yes, we suspect you, Brad! Witness my cold glare of suspicion! BRAD PITT Shut up and give me my phone! (dials) Mireille? Hello? FANA MOKOENA (on phone) Uh no, it's me. I made the crazy decision that if you could call only one person, it should be the guy who sent you to retrieve information crucial to the survival of all humans. I've moved your family to a secure location in Nova Scotia. BRAD PITT Secure? You don't think Nova Scotia is an island do you? Because it's not, although it IS right next to Newfoundland and Prince Edward ISLAND, which guess what, are ISLANDS. Anyway with the last ounce of battery please tell these guys who I am, instead of me telling you my theory to save everyone. PIERFRANCESCO FAVINO And the phone's dead. So what is this goddamn theory? BRAD PITT If we give ourselves deadly diseases, the zombies will avoid us. It'll be... camouflage. That's a brand new word I just made up. RUTH NEGGA Good idea. Thing is, the way to our deadly-virus room is full of zombies. We should figure out a way to broadcast this idea so that another WHO lab can... BRAD PITT NO NO NO ONLY WE MUST TEST THIS THEORY!!! We have to distract the audience from realizing that this whole trek around the globe didn't mean squat, and I could have solved everything by watching assorted surveillance footage from the safety of the original fleet! RUTH NEGGA Okay, geez. Have a crowbar. They HEAD OUT, but ZOMBIES appear and EVERYONE WHO'S NOT BRAD TOTALLY BAILS. BRAD swings his CROWBAR which CAVES IN A ZOMBIE'S SKULL makes a LOUD THUMP and a ZOMBIE falls down! ANOTHER ZOMBIE approaches him but the CROWBAR is CAUGHT IN AN EYESOCKET AND GRINDING THE ZOMBIE EYE TO JELLY AS BRAD FRANTICALLY PULLS AT IT mysteriously stuck on something out of frame! But it comes FREE just in time for BRAD to BRUTALLY DEMOLISH THE ZOMBIE'S FACE LIKE SO MUCH MOLDY RASPBERRY CHEESECAKE shame it into submission with a disapproving glare! BRAD PITT Dear God, this has to be the least bloody undead movie since The Omega Man. (is old) BRAD uses his MAP SENSE +10 to find the VIRUS ROOM, which is locked with a KEYPAD. A nearby WALL-MOUNTED PHONE rings, confusing the hell out of everyone in the audience under 20. RUTH NEGGA (on phone) Brad, it's me, I can see you on the security camera. The code is COCKBALLS 262522557. BRAD PITT Thanks. Hm, there's no possible way to press these tiny buttons one-by-one AND hold a crowbar, I mean I'm not MADE of hands. Better put the crowbar down. (enters code) And it's clearly beyond the limits of human endurance and ingenuity to take the crowbar inside the room with me, better leave it outside. (does so) INT. BACK AT THE MONITOR ROOM A HELICOPTER FLIES PAST in the FOREGROUND in 3D as the SCIENTISTS intently watch the monitors in the cramped monitor room. DANIELLA KERTESZ Yay, Brad found the viruses! But oh crap, a zombie is outside the door now! He's trapped! RUTH NEGGA He's going to have to inject himself to escape, but he doesn't know which viruses we have cures for. How will he... PIERFRANCISCO FAVINO Wait, look! He found a pen and paper, and he's spotted the camera! Now I bet he's going to send us a message like "Ring the phone once for yes, twice for no" and start holding up vials... PETER CAPALDI No, he'll tell us to waggle the camera up/down or side/side. RUTH NEGGA Or by turning the camera on and off, we can make the red power light flash, and send messages that way! Maybe even do Morse code! Ooh, which one is he gonna pick... he's about to hold up the paper... aw fuck, oh look, "TELL MY FAMILY I LOVE THEM"?!? Seriously?!!??! What kind of lame-ass bullshit is that!!. How touching! PIERFRANCISCO FAVINO Way to go, DOUCHEBAG! It's just so noble. PETER CAPALDI My GOD what a fucking idiot is this guy!! I'm touched. RUTH NEGGA Now I hope he picks the fucking ebola virus. Or at least something that makes him shit himself. Fucking assclown. Truly he is the best of us. BRAD injects a DEADLY VIRUS into his arm, which successfully fools the ZOMBIE and makes JENNIFER ANISTON wonder if maybe those post-hypnotic suggestions worked after all. INT. HALLWAY BRAD PITT Phew, I've avoided horrible zombie death. Time for a refreshing Pepsi! (drinks crisp, ice-cold Pepsi) Pepsi, it's the choice of a NEW civilization. In fact, everyone have some delicious Pepsi! ZOMBIE HORDE (rushing past) ARRRRGH THE ONLY THING WE LOVE MORE THAN BRAINSSS IS PEPSSSSSI DANIELLA KERTESZ Good job, Brad. I'd ask how the fuck we get out of here, but we only have twenty seconds left to end the movie. So you chose the right vial and I go home and you get to Nova Scotia where your family is safe but Mireille is fucking Matthew Fox now, remember him? and everything's fine the fight goes on hope survives etcetera etcetera the end. BRAD PITT Hooray! Wait, what? END
you know what really would have been cool??? A TNT lift up to the top of the tree to look around at this new place of yours also so sidearms could have some fun:D
why was everyone acting so different when bdubs was there? you guys wernt acting the same as normal, and speedy you totally ditched side arms for bdubs and made him completely jealous
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Article. I. Section. 1. All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives. Section. 2. The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature. No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen. Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three. When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies. The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment. Section. 3. The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote. Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies. No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen. The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided. The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States. The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present. Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law. Section. 4. The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators. The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day. Section. 5. Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide. Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member. Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal. Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting. Section. 6. The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place. No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office. Section. 7. All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills. Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States: If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law. Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill. Section. 8. The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States; To borrow Money on the credit of the United States; To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes; To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States; To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures; To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States; To establish Post Offices and post Roads; To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries; To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court; To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations; To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water; To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years; To provide and maintain a Navy; To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces; To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions; To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress; To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;--And To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof. Section. 9. The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person. The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it. No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed. No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or enumeration herein before directed to be taken. No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State. No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another; nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another. No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time. No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State. Section. 10. No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility. No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress. No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay. Article. II. Section. 1. The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows: Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector. The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President. The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States. No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States. In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the Same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected. The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them. Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." Section. 2. The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment. He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments. The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session. Section. 3. He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States. Section. 4. The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors. Article III. Section. 1. The judicial Power of the United States shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office. Section. 2. The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;--to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;--to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;--to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;--to Controversies between two or more States;-- between a State and Citizens of another State,--between Citizens of different States,--between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects. In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make. The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed. Section. 3. Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court. The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted. Article. IV. Section. 1. Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof. Section. 2. The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime. No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due. Section. 3. New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress. The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State. Section. 4. The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened), against domestic Violence.
And that treehouse never been used again
SP33DY! I have a great idea! There isn't much room in the tree house, so I was thinking that maybe you could build a ladder tunnel down the trunk of the tree house and have a little storage room in the root area. Like this so he can see! (even though I have no clue if that works with the new comment system...)
Don't you mean he could get G18 to build it
Fariko Blindfire WHOOPS, Did he just say that outloud?!
Pretty sure this guy got half his likes from what he said about the comments...
LOL, "the newest member of the crew." Couldn't be any more true 2 years later
fgrhuhrg right??
their kid should be named speedyarms if u catch my drift
That's more suitable for G18's kid....
Little did the crew know, two years later they would be wearing capes.
BDubs is not going to be part of the Crew, and is not joining the server. He simply was on this episode because KYR is friends with Bdubs and wanted him to build a treehouse.
Speedy i love you but i have started to notice that you have been taking off your clothes a lot more in all the crew videos and you have might have some issues, i am sorry i think you need help
KYR: Let's make the sheep have sexies
Millbee:FAPFAPFAPFAP
speedy you're gonna want to use your majestic sheep farm to make carpet and put carpet down in the treehouse and you definitely need an extension on the house to be able to jump down straight into the water
Hello there handsome.
Lucas3334 You made me laugh
:)
I fucking love sidearms
they're all all awesome. once i get my youtube career starting im waiting for the moment sp33dy sais "today we have a special guest, Dealerkiller (my nickname)".
Bdouble has a really nice mic.
Speedy I thought up some cool names for jahovas new fishing shack!
~ hovas hooks
~ puffer place
~ sea shack
~ the crews catch
~ the fishing hole
RT and FAV is you're re-watching crewcraft
B dubs needs to have guest appearances more often. That guy is hilarious!!!
I like when you do vids with bdubs
"And I'll just side on the sidelines =/" that was so funny. Sp33dy had no idea he was trying to hint he wanted to join them lol
RIP tree that helped start the tree farm
More episodes with b dubs please
10,000 like! I would like to thank my dog for taking the time to go outside and poop instead of on my tablet, and my fish, for not evolving into a mermaid and killing me when I forget to feed it. I would like to thank my sister, for doing absolutely nothing, and not bugging me while I'm wasting my life on the internet. And I would also like to thank all the little people out there, like ants, and Barbies, for letting me call them people. THANK YOU WORLD
Were you born on a toilet? Lol
Khaotic Filming almost, missed the toilet and fell on the floor :(
I love how g18 says in text TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT and no one cared
Wait.... how is Bdubs on the sever? Did you spawn him in?
Are you serious? or are just kidding
PhlpxWslf hes kidding. hes just joking cause everybody thought they were spawning grass blocks in and such
Oh ok for a sec I thought he was messed in the head
KornColonel72 finally someone understands
I agree sp33dy and bdubs are ny favorite people bring so much joy to my life lol
Since sidearms is always with sp33dy and never leaves his side when bdouble0100 is talking to sp33dy all buddy buddy you can tell the way sidearms talks he is either jealous or just doesn't like bdoube0100, don't worry i can help just skype me :D
P,S
Sp33dy you're are just the funniest TH-camr ever!!!
Funny vid. Love the series. Nobodyepic: I don't know if I like sidearms having that much power
sidearms is so adorable omg
*****
ok that's just creepy
ok it's all good then.
9:14 - 9:18 Bdouble0100 can sing only about treehouses
finally made the rap battle stage on season 3
you guys should let BdoubleO be part of the crew
mindcrack vs crew. Imagine?
4:36 is my favourite because bdouble says "callerpitter" LOL
Hey speedy where's your cousin at?!
Love it when boo is on the sever
BdoubleO is so cloud to E-doubleO
E-dubble is awsm
ItsLemonZ Damn, 3 years later. E-doubleO past away
speedy said."We wanted you to have the biggest fish SERVER on the FARM" Lmao
WORLD WAR Z
The Abridged Script
FADE IN:
A NEWS MONTAGE hints at the coming ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE while also introducing the soundtrack by MUSE, painstakingly crafted by playing the final track of the 2ND LAW album over and over and over again.
INT. BRAD PITT'S HOUSE
BRAD prepares for his normal, routine day with his wife MIREILLE ENOS.
BRAD PITT
Wait a sec... so the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened yet? Isn't the whole book set AFTER the...
MIREILLE ENOS
It is. But the guys adapting it got stuck on the front cover, so congrats, you're starring in a summer blockbuster based on a title.
BRAD PITT
And I see we have two adorable little escort missions, er I mean, daughters. Can't wait to holler your names through panicked crowds later.
(thinks)
Any reason there couldn't just be one of you?
BRAD'S DAUGHTERS
Nope.
EXT. CITY STREET
The BRADMILY is stuck in traffic.
BRAD PITT
I swear, if is this is another one of those make-work construction projects I'm gonna...
POLICEMAN
(running wildly)
AW GAWD ZOMBIES EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIVES!!!!
BRAD PITT
That's a relief. Looks like we're getting straight to the action! Buckle up kids, this is gonna be zombie carnage on a scale never seen before. We're talking GLOBAL amounts of gore and evisceration that...
MIREILLE ENOS
Er, don't forget that this movie is, itself, ALSO single-mindedly bent on achieving worldwide saturation.
BRAD PITT
Huh? Why would that matter...
The ZOMBIE HORDE arrives!! LIMBS and SEVERED HEADS and BLOOD and ENTRAILS fly in all directions as There is lots of censor-friendly SCREAMING and RUNNING AROUND in a SUITABLE FOR MASS MARKET fashion!
BRAD PITT
I see your point. Well, an undead plague sanitized for international consumption is still an undead plague, I guess. Let's go!!
The BRADMILY makes a run for it! BRAD uses his SOUND MIXING powers to focus in on ONE SPECIFIC VICTIM.
BRAD PITT
Based on a sample size of that one guy, I now know for a fact that it takes exactly 12 seconds to become a zombie. Although since he started convulsing and howling after about two seconds, I could probably mark that down under "right away".
They corral an RV and make a GETAWAY, but one of the DAUGHTERS turns out to have been BITTEN, forcing BRAD to make an unthinkable choice while raising the emotional stakes to intense heights of has an ASTHMA ATTACK! They park outside a PHARMACY.
INT. PHARMACY
BRAD finds the HELPFUL GUN-TOTING PHARMACIST section and gets the asthma meds! Unfortunately MIREILLE takes a wrong turn into the SEXUAL ASSAULT AISLE requiring another DRAMATIC ESCAPE!
BRAD PITT
Aw fuck those fucking cockfucking cuntfuckers stole our fucking Dangit, the RV's been stolen, with all our gear!
MIREILLE ENOS
At least I found us some flares during the ten seconds I wasn't busy fighting off gang rapists.
BRAD PITT
Seriously?! Wow, you're every bit as cool-headed and resourceful as me, if not more. Too bad that was your last positive contribution to this entire story.
They duck into an APARTMENT BUILDING and are taken in by a HISPANIC FAMILY.
BRAD PITT
I feel a strange paternal instinct towards this child from another culture. Remember kid, movement is life. Staying put is death.
HISPANIC KID
You mean like the scientists at the end who go nowhere and are fine? Or the soldiers in Korea who are fine until they try to help you go somewhere?
BRAD PITT
No more lines for you.
INT. APARTMENT TOWER - THE NEXT MORNING
BRAD PITT
We need to get to the roof. I called my U.N. buddy Fana Mokoena and he's sending a helicopter to come get us.
MIREILLE ENOS
Are you sure we should risk it? What if they don't make it, or aren't really coming at all, and we get trapped up there? We'd be doomed.
BRAD PITT
(grimly)
There's no other choice. It's a huge gamble but we have to take a leap of faith, which will also ratchet up the suspense as...
CUT TO:
INT. HELICOPTER
CHOPPER PILOT
WOO-HOO BRAD RESCUE IS UNDERWAAAY!!
CHOPPER GUNNER
Suspense element targeted, locked and destroyed!! OO-RAH!!
CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENTS
BRAD PITT
...oh.
Everyone heads up the STAIRS but then ZOMBIES AIIEEEE STAIRS RUSH ARRRGH BRAD DAUGHTER RUN ENOS LOOK OUT FLARE MIREILLE RAAAARRRGH SCREAM CRASH KEEP GOING HISPANIC AIIEEEE PITT ZOMBIES NOOOO FIGHT CHOMP ARRRRGH
EXT. ROOFTOP
The BRADMILY arrives on the roof!
MIREILLE ENOS
Holy fuck cow what just happened?!
BRAD PITT
I think I maybe got bit by a zombie. Or we might have made a baby, it was really unclear.
(pause)
Anyway I'll use the 12-second rule to make sure I won't turn, starting now, even though way more than 12 seconds have already passed.
Just then the HELICOPTER arrives in the FOREGROUND in 3D!
CHOPPER PILOT
Quick, even though you could all easily be infected, please pile aboard our chopper!
BRAD PITT
(squinting)
Hey, you're Matthew Fox. Why are you Matthew Fox?
MATTHEW FOX
(pause)
No reason.
EXT. AMERICAN NAVAL FLEET
The HELICOPTER hovers in the FOREGROUND in 3D as the BRADMILY is greeted by FANA MOKOENA.
BRAD PITT
Fana, I'm so happy we got out, let me rush towards you and plant my mouth on your head, surely the smartest thing to do when surrounded by armed soliders freaking out about zombies!
FANA MOKOENA
Oh that's okay, after all, the incubation time is different for different people so you could still turn any second now.
BRAD PITT
Really?
FANA MOKOENA
Yeah, we realized that if everyone followed the 12-second rule there was no way in hell the virus could get across the ocean, and we'd have no movie.
BRAD PITT
Well, I will continue to use the 12-second rule, and because I am the star it will always be right.
FANA MOKOENA
(shrugs)
It's not like we're going to take any precautions anyway. So as you've perhaps guessed, the zombies are everywhere on Earth and the human race is in danger of extinction. Civilization as we know it has ended. Did you want to pause and react in any way to this devastating news?
BRAD PITT
Not really. I figure I'll save my big emotional moment for when somebody the audience cares about gets zombified...
(checks script)
Huh, that never happens. So what's the plan?
FANA MOKOENA
We need you to go to South Korea, because we found an email there that mentioned zombies and it is the only email in existence to ever do that. Then, since we threw away the original story, you'll be going to a variety of global locations until imminent catastrophe forces you to rush to the plane taking off just in the nick of time, which gets you to the next location, and so on... basically "2012" except with zombies instead of natural disasters. "Z01Z", if you will.
BRAD PITT
Fine, whatever.
(pause)
What if I told you I'd rather stay here to protect my family, surrounded by battleships and soldiers, rather than go help thwart the zombie plague and save humanity, which includes my family?
FANA MOKOENA
(chuckling)
Right, like you'd agree to play a lead character so selfish and cowardly. That's a good one! Now let's get you a fresh scarf.
INT. PLANE
The PLANE HOVERS in the FOREGROUND in 3D as it takes BRAD, a SCIENTIST, and some UN SOLDIERS to KOREA.
SCIENTIST
I believe the zombie plague came from natural causes. But there's a thing about Nature.
(actual line)
Sometimes, what you think is its greatest strength, is ACTUALLY its greatest weakness.
BRAD PITT
Which in this case means what? We'll turn its astonishing virulence, exponential rate of growth, and near-invulnerability against it?
SCIENTIST
Well no, what we'll really do is exploit a secondary characteristic to our advantage.
BRAD PITT
(nodding)
"It's not a bug, it's a feature."
SCIENTIST
Exactly. But when you eventually figure it out, be sure to use my "strength/weakness" line, it sounds more impressive that way.
EXT. LANDING STRIP - KOREA
The PLANE LANDS in the FOREGROUND in 3D but ZOMBIES attack! The SCIENTIST trips and TOTALLY BLOWS HIS OWN BRAINS OUT IN A SPLATTER OF BLOODY SKULL it is STRONGLY IMPLIED that something VERY BAD HAPPENS TO HIM! BRAD and the UN SOLDIERS reach the US BASE.
US SOLDIERS
OOO-RAH!! WE FUCK UP ZEKES WHO WANNA FUCK US UP, WE FUCK THEM RIGHT IN THE ZOMBIE TWAT Golly, welcome aboard, Brad! We sure hope we can be helpful.
BRAD PITT
Me too, since the one guy who knew anything is now dead.
SOLDIER
Oh. Then we've got nothing.
BRAD PITT
Nothing at all?
SOLDIER
Nope.
BRAD PITT
Really?
SOLDIER
(sighs)
Okay, we have one CIA dude who says he has critical information about the zombies. But THAT'S IT.
They take him to see DAVID MORSE who has gone CRAY CRAY.
DAVID MORSE
(conspiratorially)
So two years ago, Jerusalem built a giant honkin wall around itself that is visible from space.
BRAD PITT
Oh my God, that is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would never be noticed by every news channel and government on Earth, and I could only learn from a deranged spy!! This must be crucially important, I've gotta get back to my plane.
SOLDIER
All right. Since the Zekes are drawn by sound, we'll use creaky old bicycles to take a path ten times as long as we took before.
BRAD PITT
This is the best possible time to leave my phone on!
Sure enough the phone RINGS halfway there! ZOMBIES attack, but BRAD and a DIFFERENT SOLDIER make it to the plane and TAKE OFF!
BRAD PITT
(on phone)
Mireille, was that you calling me just now?
MIREILLE ENOS
Yeah, I got bored with being written out of the movie. Thought we could chat.
BRAD PITT
Well since I'm busy being dropped into various zombie-infested locations, how about from now on DO NOT CALL ME I WILL CALL YOU.
EXT. JERUSALEM
A HELICOPTER hovers in the FOREGROUND in 3D as BRAD lands and meets Israeli soldier DANIELLA KERTESZ.
DANIELLA KERTESZ
Welcome. As you see, we built an enormous anti-zombie wall all the way around the city, with a nice smooth top just in case they ever reach it.
BRAD PITT
And all the time you've had this, it never struck you to add spikes or barbed wire to the top, or to have guards there, or use any of the other hundreds-of-years-old techniques that exist to stop people from going over walls?
DANIELLA KERTESZ
Nope. But we DO have mesh tunnels to let tons more humans inside, because we have limitless food and water and space.
However somebody sets up a LOUDSPEAKER which suddenly makes the CITY CRAMMED WITH HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE just that extra little bit TOO NOISY!!
BRAD PITT
Yoiks, the zombies are cresting the wall! But you must have a fallback position, or a Plan B, or something, right?
DANIELLA KERTESZ
Nope, we are now completely monkeyfucked in a spot of bother.
BRAD PITT
I guess it's run-to-the-plane time again!
They RUN but DANIELLA gets bit in the hand!
BRAD PITT
Don't worry, I saw this on Walking Dead!
BRAD TOTALLY CHOPS OFF DANIELLA'S HAND AND THE EXPOSED STUMP SPRAYS BLOOD EVERYWHERE makes a THWACKING SOUND and now DANIELLA'S HAND is missing!
DANIELLA KERTESZ
AIEEEE! I know it's tradition for zombie-movie characters to shrug off severed limbs like paper cuts, but I think I'll buck tradition and actually go into shock for a while.
BRAD PITT
Can't you grow a new hand or shoot guns with your feet or something?
DANIELLA KERTESZ
Look, Sandler's "Zohan" movie was not entirely accurate, okay? Let's get to your plane and...
ARMY PILOT
(taking off)
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Sorry, can't wait. Best of luck though!
Instead BRAD and DANIELLA get to a PASSENGER JET which has been patiently waiting to be allowed to taxi out of the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. As they TAKE OFF, BRAD uses his MONTAGE POWERS to come to an IMPORTANT REALIZATION! He calls MIREILLE.
BRAD PITT
Mireille, quick, put Fana on before you accidentally participate in this scene!
FANA MOKOENA
(on phone)
Okay, I'm here. What's going on?
BRAD PITT
Listen to me there's NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! NONE AT ALL!! Okay in that time I could have said "the zombies ignore fatally diseased people" but THERE'S NO TIME!! TELL THE PILOT WHERE THE CLOSEST W.H.O. BASE IS and I could have told you my theory a second time by now!
FANA MOKOENA
(on phone)
Okay, that's taken care of. So what's the theory about saving everyone and hello? Hello?
They FLY in the FOREGROUND in 3D for a while.
BRAD PITT
(frowns)
Thought I heard something... hm, it sounds like screaming and panic on the other side of that curtain. I wonder what it could possibly be. Let's have a look.
(looks)
SHIT FUCK Oh geez guys, there's zombies on the plane! Quick, stack some luggage here, that way when the zombies burst through you can be pinned down by zombies AND luggage!
The luggage plan EPIC FAILS just about as spectacularly as you'd expect. Luckily BRAD'S CARRY-ON LUGGAGE is a GRENADE and he uses it to BLOW THE PLANE IN HALF!
EXT. IRELAND - IN A TREE
BRAD PITT
(regaining consciousness)
Hrnn... I'm alive! But arrgh, my left arm is a mangled pulp of exposed sinew and I have the obligatory nonlethal Shrapnel-Through-The-Torso.™ I sure hope Daniella is miraculously okay.
DANIELLA KERTESZ
Yup!
BRAD uses his INTERNAL GPS POWERS to find the WHO LAB but the effort causes him to PASS OUT.
INT. WHO LABORATORIES
BRAD wakes up strapped to a TABLE and surrounded by suspicious doctors PETER CAPALDI, PIERFRANCESCO FAVINO, and RUTH NEGGA who is a living testament to the importance of proofreading.
PETER CAPALDI
Hee hee, we're all credited as "WHO Doctor", which is like Doctor Who backwards. Hee hee.
RUTH NEGGA
Quiet, Peter. We have to be hugely suspicious of Brad, even though his companion is awake and should have explained everything to us already.
PIERFRANCESCO FAVINO
Yes, we suspect you, Brad! Witness my cold glare of suspicion!
BRAD PITT
Shut up and give me my phone!
(dials)
Mireille? Hello?
FANA MOKOENA
(on phone)
Uh no, it's me. I made the crazy decision that if you could call only one person, it should be the guy who sent you to retrieve information crucial to the survival of all humans. I've moved your family to a secure location in Nova Scotia.
BRAD PITT
Secure? You don't think Nova Scotia is an island do you? Because it's not, although it IS right next to Newfoundland and Prince Edward ISLAND, which guess what, are ISLANDS. Anyway with the last ounce of battery please tell these guys who I am, instead of me telling you my theory to save everyone.
PIERFRANCESCO FAVINO
And the phone's dead. So what is this goddamn theory?
BRAD PITT
If we give ourselves deadly diseases, the zombies will avoid us. It'll be... camouflage. That's a brand new word I just made up.
RUTH NEGGA
Good idea. Thing is, the way to our deadly-virus room is full of zombies. We should figure out a way to broadcast this idea so that another WHO lab can...
BRAD PITT
NO NO NO ONLY WE MUST TEST THIS THEORY!!! We have to distract the audience from realizing that this whole trek around the globe didn't mean squat, and I could have solved everything by watching assorted surveillance footage from the safety of the original fleet!
RUTH NEGGA
Okay, geez. Have a crowbar.
They HEAD OUT, but ZOMBIES appear and EVERYONE WHO'S NOT BRAD TOTALLY BAILS. BRAD swings his CROWBAR which CAVES IN A ZOMBIE'S SKULL makes a LOUD THUMP and a ZOMBIE falls down! ANOTHER ZOMBIE approaches him but the CROWBAR is CAUGHT IN AN EYESOCKET AND GRINDING THE ZOMBIE EYE TO JELLY AS BRAD FRANTICALLY PULLS AT IT mysteriously stuck on something out of frame! But it comes FREE just in time for BRAD to BRUTALLY DEMOLISH THE ZOMBIE'S FACE LIKE SO MUCH MOLDY RASPBERRY CHEESECAKE shame it into submission with a disapproving glare!
BRAD PITT
Dear God, this has to be the least bloody undead movie since The Omega Man.
(is old)
BRAD uses his MAP SENSE +10 to find the VIRUS ROOM, which is locked with a KEYPAD. A nearby WALL-MOUNTED PHONE rings, confusing the hell out of everyone in the audience under 20.
RUTH NEGGA
(on phone)
Brad, it's me, I can see you on the security camera. The code is COCKBALLS 262522557.
BRAD PITT
Thanks. Hm, there's no possible way to press these tiny buttons one-by-one AND hold a crowbar, I mean I'm not MADE of hands. Better put the crowbar down.
(enters code)
And it's clearly beyond the limits of human endurance and ingenuity to take the crowbar inside the room with me, better leave it outside.
(does so)
INT. BACK AT THE MONITOR ROOM
A HELICOPTER FLIES PAST in the FOREGROUND in 3D as the SCIENTISTS intently watch the monitors in the cramped monitor room.
DANIELLA KERTESZ
Yay, Brad found the viruses! But oh crap, a zombie is outside the door now! He's trapped!
RUTH NEGGA
He's going to have to inject himself to escape, but he doesn't know which viruses we have cures for. How will he...
PIERFRANCISCO FAVINO
Wait, look! He found a pen and paper, and he's spotted the camera! Now I bet he's going to send us a message like "Ring the phone once for yes, twice for no" and start holding up vials...
PETER CAPALDI
No, he'll tell us to waggle the camera up/down or side/side.
RUTH NEGGA
Or by turning the camera on and off, we can make the red power light flash, and send messages that way! Maybe even do Morse code! Ooh, which one is he gonna pick... he's about to hold up the paper... aw fuck, oh look, "TELL MY FAMILY I LOVE THEM"?!? Seriously?!!??! What kind of lame-ass bullshit is that!!. How touching!
PIERFRANCISCO FAVINO
Way to go, DOUCHEBAG! It's just so noble.
PETER CAPALDI
My GOD what a fucking idiot is this guy!! I'm touched.
RUTH NEGGA
Now I hope he picks the fucking ebola virus. Or at least something that makes him shit himself. Fucking assclown. Truly he is the best of us.
BRAD injects a DEADLY VIRUS into his arm, which successfully fools the ZOMBIE and makes JENNIFER ANISTON wonder if maybe those post-hypnotic suggestions worked after all.
INT. HALLWAY
BRAD PITT
Phew, I've avoided horrible zombie death. Time for a refreshing Pepsi!
(drinks crisp, ice-cold Pepsi)
Pepsi, it's the choice of a NEW civilization. In fact, everyone have some delicious Pepsi!
ZOMBIE HORDE
(rushing past)
ARRRRGH THE ONLY THING WE LOVE MORE THAN BRAINSSS IS PEPSSSSSI
DANIELLA KERTESZ
Good job, Brad. I'd ask how the fuck we get out of here, but we only have twenty seconds left to end the movie. So you chose the right vial and I go home and you get to Nova Scotia where your family is safe but Mireille is fucking Matthew Fox now, remember him? and everything's fine the fight goes on hope survives etcetera etcetera the end.
BRAD PITT
Hooray! Wait, what?
END
what the fuck man
Why the heck would you spend your time to make this?
fuck off
lol dis is funny
I love Sp33dy's descriptions!
SPEEDY! Please play with BDUBS on COD Ghosts!!!!!!
5:14 Who left the sheep out?
"Maah, Mah, Mah, Mah
Who left the sheep out
CREWCRAFT VS MINDCRACK XD
too outnumbered...
you know what really would have been cool???
A TNT lift up to the top of the tree to look around at this new place of yours
also so sidearms could have some fun:D
why was everyone acting so different when bdubs was there? you guys wernt acting the same as normal, and speedy you totally ditched side arms for bdubs and made him completely jealous
what are you? 8 years old?
mark ybanez uhm i'm pretty sure my grammar was right dumb troll
CREW INITIATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R they getting xbox ones
AirsoftLoadout Seriously? THEY ARE GETTING BOTH. IT HAS BEEN SAID THOUSANDS OF times.
No they got both.
Bdubs: You will make beautiful children up there
Sid: yeah...
yeaaaaaaah Bdouble O *_*
Bdouble is the new deluxe!
SideSp33d4KYReason
CREW PODCAST LIKE PKA!! Also Crew VS Mindcrack! That would be awesome like a minigame battle like Hermitcraft vs mindcrack
What happened to your cousin?
It sounds like he running his internet through a Pringles can lol.
YEESSSS!!!!! BDOUBLEO!!!!!
why is D20 never in the crewcraft server nor online on xbox?!
What happened to Str8Mario?
He doesn't have the time to play with the crew look at his video
Bdoubles sound is hilarious
I would love to
Play with them
Yea... wat he sed
love the collaborations with you and Bdubs.
RAP BATTLE RAP BATTLE RAP BATTLE
DoubleBo was happy to see speedy at the end.xD
Bdouble0100 IS FUCKING AWESOME!!
Speedy I got some name suggestions for jahovas fish shack
~ hovas hooks
~the crews catch
~ puffer palace
~ sea shack
You should name the baby kyarms4sp33son
thats genius
And it will be magnificent.
That's the best name ever I'm changing my name
Let him be part of the crew guys! He is f****** hilarious
#BlameDeluxe
"Chew with your damn mouth closed." Lol probably the best thing said in the video. haha
bdubs! :D
Two of my favourite things :
Mindcrack and The Crew
:'D
Everyone shoutout to etho for speedy without permition!!
"Nicest fish server on the farm" -KYRSP33DY 2013 lol!
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Article. I.
Section. 1.
All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.
Section. 2.
The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.
No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.
Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.
When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.
The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.
Section. 3.
The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.
Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.
No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.
The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.
The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.
The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.
Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.
Section. 4.
The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.
The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.
Section. 5.
Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.
Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.
Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.
Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.
Section. 6.
The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.
No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.
Section. 7.
All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.
Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States: If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.
Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.
Section. 8.
The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;
To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;
To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;
To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;
To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;
To establish Post Offices and post Roads;
To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;
To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;
To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;
To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;
To provide and maintain a Navy;
To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;
To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;
To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;
To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;--And
To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.
Section. 9.
The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.
The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.
No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.
No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or enumeration herein before directed to be taken.
No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.
No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another; nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.
No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.
No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.
Section. 10.
No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.
No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.
No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.
Article. II.
Section. 1.
The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows:
Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.
The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President.
The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.
No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.
In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the Same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.
The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.
Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Section. 2.
The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.
He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.
The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.
Section. 3.
He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.
Section. 4.
The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Article III.
Section. 1.
The judicial Power of the United States shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.
Section. 2.
The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;--to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;--to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;--to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;--to Controversies between two or more States;-- between a State and Citizens of another State,--between Citizens of different States,--between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.
In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.
The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.
Section. 3.
Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.
The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.
Article. IV.
Section. 1.
Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.
Section. 2.
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.
No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.
Section. 3.
New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.
The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.
Section. 4.
The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened), against domestic Violence.
CANADA 4 THE WIN
He's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now.
im the hero Canada deserves but not the one it needs
stonebreaker101 no just no
Yes just yes
BDUBS GOT THE MOST AWSOME VOCIE EVURRRRRRR!!!!
First ?
I laughed more than I should of " I completely agree Optimus Prime" xD
someone make a soundboard of jahova opening a can of Monster
Two of my fav youtubers.
Great Episode! The Crew should have B Dubs more often!
28:45 - KYR SP33DY's voice cracks. xD
Tell Jahova to team his koosh business with Shadow's SEWE. Shadow can make the rods and Jahova can supply his koosh as bait/koosh
Speedy: you know how to make shears?
Side: two iron right?
Side: lol
SideArms know something about minecraft!!!
Finally a long vid
when you fall asleep next to sidearms, you'll wake up with him inside you
Gotta love Bdubs
"Sp-thirty-three-dy." xD I like how that sounds so much better than, "Speedy."
Finally they have a longer video
Now the treehouse only needs a lot of torches to make it beautiful!
I get home every day from school thinking what a shit day. So i get on my i phone and see new mc by KYR SP33DY and get happy again.:-)
He said "we wanted you to have the best fish server on the farm,"
he also said "i purposely said that wrong!!"
Bring Bdubs into a Ghosts game with the crew! :D
he had me weak cuz of the way he said damn at 11:57
This place is so much cooler than the village so far
Crew VS Mindcrackers
factions*
I would actually be really happy if BdoubleO became a part of the crew
Sidearms doesn't like tnt...he likes water buckets
Nobody epic preordered his ps4 on the best day of the year
Sidearms! You're favorite thing is lapiz lazuli!
Please jahova don't drink so many rock stars at one time
You might get a heart attack
"What the hell you feeding this guy.," lmaoooo
Uhh speedy.. When you go nack to the village will you do the pirate ship? Like finish it and have a war like u said??
Haha meant back* my phones retarded
3:22 bdubs is looking at speedys honkers lol
bdouble is officially in the crew
i actually subbed to bdubs, hes really cool, found him because of you speedy :)