We love our Wong Fu ladies and their insightful stories and opinions. Let us know about a moment YOU felt empowered by being single! We'd love to hear it 😊
I think it´s great that you´re raising this topic. Especially when most Wong Fu vids are about relationships, which could contribute to the relationship pressure for some people. As someone who was single (but dating here and there) for all of her 20s, it often feels like the whole world sees being single as being a bit of a loser/being too picky/not having achieved something. I wish the world would put more focus on the pros of being single, that being single does not mean you´re failing at dating, etc (dating = meeting a ton of people who aren´t right/who treat you badly/who ghost you. It really is a full time job and it´s definitely like looking for a needle in a haystack). We need more shows and films about single life, because there are so many gems in single life, too, and there are so many issues about it that people in relationships don´t get (in fact, people who have always been in relationships often contribute to the bad feelings around singleness - they make you think you´re not doing enough, being too picky, etc.).
Standards are important, but I think it’s important to be flexible and realistic because here is really no perfect person. Makes me think of a line in 500 days of summer (great movie about love and relationships) where a character says, “I think technically the ‘girl of my dreams’ would probably have like a really bodacious rack, you know; maybe different hair; she’d probably be a little more into sports… But truthfully, Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real”
Before getting in a relationship with my now-husband, I was single for 5 years. I LOVED taking me-dates: eating at my favorite restaurant, watching a movie in the theater, going to the park, etc all by myself. At first it was a little awkward, but it really gave me a lot of self-confidence and autonomy not to lean on my friends to go do something I want to when I wanted.
Absolutely! It wasn’t until I lived alone in a new city while going to school/work that I truly fell in love MORE with my me-time. I miss getting dolled up, exploring the city, finding food spots, and spending hours being present in that moment with just myself. 🥰
True I do me dates when my mom looks after the kids and my husband out of town working. Like a refresh new hair cut, a little shopping not food or something I want to eat not what everyone else decided on and get eat it myself without someone staring me down or even a movie I been wanting to see but not for kids and not hubby thing.. 😆
Its funny that most Asian parents told us not to be in a relationship when you're in school, but as soon as you graduate, they expect us to be married and have kid =.=
Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, is getting married really considered "leveling up"? Doesn't make sense. If you are happy with your own life and achievements and goals, that's leveling up, even more so than married people who do nothing useful.
Turned 27 this year and I definitely can relate to the fact that I'm fine with being by myself but at times can feel lonely when you don't have that one person you can always go to for just about anything. Definitely felt the pressure of looking for someone to get married to and having kids with as my peers do, especially when the the single ones feel like it's the next thing on the list.
i never understood why people "craved" to be in a relationship so much, or that they should always be liking someone, or be with someone. being single gives you so much room for growth, for independence, and it makes you realize that the greatest love you can ever receive comes from yourself ♡
That's true but how much more independent can you get if you're one of those people who have never been in a relationship? People get lonely, they start to crave being in a relationship a lot. You want to cuddle, you want to hold hands, you want someone to kiss, you want someone to hug, someone to be there for you and vice versa. You want to feel loved and needed. Being single is great if it's your choice to be single. For others it's the reality that feels like it will never change. It can cause extreme loneliness and depression.
I love being single. The more times I got involved with men, the more stress it gave me lol! Definitely don’t take advantage of being alone. Getting involved with someone else just means new responsibilities and make sure you’re ready for it. We’re too focused on finding the right one when all we need to do is be the right one to ourselves.
"The idea of love seemed an invasion. I had thoughts to think, a craft to learn, a self to discover. Solitude was a gift. A world was waiting to welcome me if I was willing to enter it alone” - Vivian Gornick
Thank you for making this episode! I just turned 33 and it feels like the clock is ticking on finding the right relationship for me. In my 20s, I was definitely more focused on my career, and I still am. But in my 20s, even though there were times that I was lonely, I wanted to focus on myself. In my 30s, I want to focus on myself but I also want to share my life with someone. I feel the pressure, both internal and external, to find a partner, but it also feels like there’s no time to dedicate to a relationship! AAAAHHHH!!! Life is complicated, isn’t it?
I was a care tech at a hospital in the south and this little old lady called me "so sweet!" "Not married, but still sweet!". But I also meet people in their 40s and up who accept that being single is not a value judgement or accomplishment, so its more a generational belief. I think theres a growing number of people who accept that you don't have to be married to be "somebody".
It doesn't give people time to be a fully-formed human, on their own, an identity that is not dependent on a partner. That's why I feel breakups for couples who have spent so much time together, that they've formed a version within a relationship, and lost who they are before, as an independent creature, why it is so disorientating I feel. You never know who you are when you are on your own. To be alone with your thoughts and feelings, and trauma and figure them out. Even more so as a woman
I was catching up with some old classmates once, and they asked me in a *hushed tone* "wait, are you single?" I thought it was funny and low-key grossed out that they said it that way! YES I'M SINGLEEEEEEEEEEE. I'LL SAY IT LOUDER FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK I!!!
😆 I am not single let's say it's a matter of choice you don't feel like caring for other doesn't mean your a bad person you just want look after yourself first which is also important.
Haha, noticed Jenn’s phone case with Matcha characteristics. She must be a huge fan for it! Syncing the idea “Its good to have someone, but I don’t mind being single”. That’s such a mature mindset:)
Being single during the pandemic has been absolutely dreadful. Online dates aren't too bad but not going out to meet people is rough. Thank god for vaccines. I didn't want to risk getting my family sick so I mostly stayed home all year but man it's been lonely af. Excited for this to be over.
Up until recently, I was single for 27 years so I could relate to so many things in this video. I’m glad for the time that I was single because it helped me grow as a person and know my worth. So when you put in the effort to date (2 years on-and-off dating apps for me ugh) it’s easier to know when that person is right for you or not. Just remember to have fun, be safe, be yourself and take a break when you need to. It may take a while but it’ll be worth it in the end.
i love this!!! wish we can have more lunchbreaks or a side show with just the female cast of wongfu! there is honestly nothing wrong with being single, sometimes things are just like that and i have various friends around my age (mid 20s) who are single our whole lives who are doing just fine! live your life and do whatever works for you and makes you happy! here’s one to all my girls out there!!
i'm 32. i thought i would be married at 25 and have 2 kids by now. hilarious. came out a year ago and very single, but i'm loving it. self love/discovery takes time. don't rush and don't settle.
Thank you ladies, such a great Lunch Break! I pandini'd single and everytime I started to feel sorry for myself I thought about the people who were quaratining with a partner they discovered was not a good fit but were stuck with it.
first lunch break i've seen in a long time and I thoroughly enjoyed the company and conversation as 29 year old who has been single for a quite a long time now
Love this! I’ve been slowly getting more comfortable with being single because I was in relationships from 15-27 and I got out of a 4 year relationship 4 months ago. I was always able to let go of people in the past and move on to the next relationship but with me being at my age I don’t want to jump into anything super quick. Im also not over my ex. I am usually over an ex after a few months tops but this was the longest I’ve ever been with anyone and it’s hard to go from being best friends for 4 years to not even being able to say hi. Now that I lost that best friend I have to do things on my own. I’ve gotten so far personally in the past 4 months and I’m really proud of myself but I still want to share that with them. It’s tough but seeing you ladies today gives me hope that I’ll get through it.
The convo from about the 6-7 minute mark, exactly, that's what I want! Not necessarily a romantic partner, but someone with whom we're each other's number one. (QPRs!)
this was such a good convo! i'm honestly having fun just dating myself and not putting pressure on myself to date anyone yet. especially since we're still in a panorama.
I am not Asian...I am not in my twenties....more early 30's....and I can still relate😊. This topic cut across race, age, geography, culture...thanks ladies for your vulnerability💪💪, thanks Wong Fu for continued great content👏👏
I think it´s great that you´re raising this topic. Especially when most Wong Fu vids are about relationships, which could contribute to the relationship pressure for some people. As someone who was single (but dating here and there) for all of her 20s, it often feels like the whole world sees being single as being a bit of a loser/being too picky/not having achieved something. I wish the world would put more focus on the pros of being single, that being single does not mean you´re failing at dating, etc (dating = meeting a ton of people who aren´t right/who treat you badly/who ghost you. It really is a full time job and it´s definitely like looking for a needle in a haystack). We need more shows and films about single life, because there are so many gems in single life, too, and there are so many issues about it that people in relationships don´t get (in fact, people who have always been in relationships often contribute to the bad feelings around singleness - they make you think you´re not doing enough, being too picky, etc.).
What a perfect timing. So relatable. My eldest sister got married two years ago and my second sister got married just last month, and now every time I meet friends, relatives, or colleagues, everybody is like, "When's your turn? Do you have someone already?" Gosh, even the word "marriage," "wedding," and anything related to those can give me anxiety. Can't I have some peace to take care of myself first? 🤧 I mean, I can't even cook properly, and driving by myself is scary! I want to be able to stand up for myself first. I don't want to impose everything on my significant other. If there were a guy, I would us to take care of each other, not only him taking care of me or vice versa. 🙊 Oops. Sorry for ranting. Guess I've kept this one bottled up for some time.
don't apologize! your feelings and experiences are valid. thank you for sharing ❤️ yes, i feel the wanting to feel more self confident & basically loving yourself part. don't try to find a partner to make yourself feel whole & take it at your own pace, you're doing great :)
Moved across the world to Korea by myself, got a full time job, paid off my loans, helped out my parents, and many other milestones as a single in my twenties. I could relate with a lot of what you guys shared here. For me, I didn’t want to date in high school as I felt it was too young. But I’ve felt “ready” to date for awhile now it’s just that nothing has ever worked out. I am a bit picky in the sense that Michele mentioned. I don’t want to date someone just to have someone or just anyone. I want to be with someone who is a good person, supports me, we get along, etc. Never been interested in playing around. But the other aspect is just that the guys who (I think) might have been interested in me I was not interested in back and vice versa. Just having someone you like like you back is amazing to me. Also agree with the idea that going on tons of dates and using dating apps still feels really awkward to me and I’m not there yet. But, yeah, I’m living my life to the fullest and hoping someday soon things will work out for me to find a partner.
i just turned 20, and I kind of feel this! like a lot of friends are starting to date whereas I’m less interested in that and more interested in developing myself - the pandemic definitely doesn’t help
You've got your whole life ahead of you and the rest of your 20s (and 30s and beyond...) to worry about that love! I remember turning 20 and thinking there was something wrong with me because I was single, but then I realised that I can do so much more with my life when I'm only having to "worry" about myself (having another person to care about can definitely be stressful 😂). Of course, it's nice to have a partner to go through life with and share your burdens with, but right now you should focus on developing yourself, figuring out your likes and dislikes, and growing in your friendships. Friendships will be there when relationships break down - don't forget that 🤭 Don't feel pressured into dating if you don't feel ready and especially if you don't want to 👍🏾 People will always have something to say, even when you get into a relationship 🙄 Your adult life has only just begun and there are bigger things for you to be concerned with than finding a partner (for the next few months, years or forever) 🤗
I'm 31 this year and super single. Had my heart broken last year and I'm just done for now, man. It'll happen when it happens and when I meet someone who actually WANTS to be with me (so rare with our hookup generation). Imma focus on my career and other areas of my life.
Loved this episode! Thank you so much for being an inspiration to young ladies who are not in a relationship. You help normalize such a stigmatized topic by having these conversations. It's okay to be in your 20's without a partner. If a family is something you want, wait for the right partner to come in creating a family together. In the meantime, enjoy your independence and freedom without responsibilities and dependents to look after
I recently turned 20 and as a Mexican male being single means something not so good.😂 but honestly I’m over it. Feeling pressured or less than Cz I “don’t have my woman”. If my partner isn’t on the same wavelength it’s better to let bygones be bygones. Standards are placed for a reason and honesty trust and loyalty isn’t in every single pretty face we meet.
I felt most empowered being single each time I don't condemn a flaw I believe I have, and instead drill down as to why I feel that way and make an effort to learn and grow.
I am confident and comfortable being single in my mid-twenties. But I also always wanted to have kids and experience as much as I can with my future Mr. Right. So for me it's more a time crunch thing. Like oh it takes roughly a couple years to get to know eachother, you wanna travel together, live together and experience everything together before raising kids. I'm just scared of not being healthy enough anymore when I'm over 30.
i really enjoyed hearing everyone's thoughts on this topic!! i related to a lot of the things mentioned (e.g., michelle not really having that maternal instinct for kids, jenn being the eldest daughter and her perspective on dating apps, etc.) it dawned on me that my mom had me when she was 22 (then got married to my dad 2 months after i was born) meanwhile i turn 22 later this year and have never been in anything close to a romantic relationship so i can't even imagine having a whole kid at this point in my life lol
As a woman, no matter what path you choose, single or not, will be criticized in some way. I'm not single but I still get criticized about aspects of my relationship form society. People can say "why are you still single" or "you've been together so long how come you guys aren't married yet?"
As a human being, no matter what path you choose, woman or man, will be criticized in thousands of different way. It is called life and we all have to deal with it.
Advice from someone who’s been happily married for 2 years. Not doing it again, it’s hella work! No one ever talks about how stressful a marriage is and when shit hits the fan. I thought my job was stressful, but at least I get paid to get stressed. Enjoy being single
Gosh I loveeeeee you guys for doing this episode because it echos so much of my thoughts and just hugs for all of you! Even if you never find someone, you have people that love you all and support you in your career and life and thanks for being Asian Americans and speaking up with these experiences!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Finding what we love to do and live is always gonna be the best thing to go for, of course fingers crossed for all of you when you wanna meet that special someone along the way of your life and career
When I was single, I hated the dating and getting to know people phrase. People are always putting a front, and I have no patience to unravel it. I’m guilty of it too. I put my best foot forward but I was just so tired of not being myself. As much as I liked being single I’m much happier now with my best friend/boyfriend. I like doing my own thing the majority of the time but it’s so nice to have a go-to person who I can trust 100%.
I've never resonated so hard with a video. Thank you for such a candid discussion - it made me feel like I'm not weird and validated a lot that I feel and am going through with at this time!
So proud of hearing this from you ladies, and it's important to know that you are NOT alone. It's also important to remember that the freedom (social, professional, and financial) you have to be having this conversation and generally not "settling" or being forced into a relationship for protection (again social, financial, or physical) is a result of generations of women breaking barriers and paving the way us. I am a huge proponent of family, but not just to check that box. And as you said, if you really desired they type of a relationship over everything else you would take the actions to move in that direction, it is still an option.
I think for me was that time I traveled alone in another country I've never been before. I discovered more about myself and being able to do that and coming back alive was really empowering for me. It broke a lot of apprehensions and boundaries.
I really enjoyed this episode! Moments I felt empowered to be flying solo is being able to make travel plans without having to consult anyone and the traveling itself 🛫 Thanks!
Im not in any rush to get into a relationship and honestly a majority of the pressure is from my parents. They want grandchildren really badly and Im just like IM JUST 24, IM NOT GUNNA POP OUT A BABY ANYTIME SOON lol
I never saw going on a lot of dates often as a bad thing. Nothing wrong with being picky (never settle!) but I liked to go on more dates to offset the amount of ppl that brought red flags. With alot of self reflection, they're each a good learning experience and if it doesn't work out, at least you met a new person. Met my SO at the beginning of the Pandemic, doing good!
And when you feel ready no one comes up and we go back to the ok not ready yet and loose that window of opportunity. Also transitioning from the working on myself not ready stage to the im ready stage is a whole different thing from actually STARTING finding someone and making that decision of "ok this is happening im going forward with this person", breaking that routine is not easy since we always come back to the reasosn why not. At the end, i believe we'll find someone when we have to, and when it does happen we'll be 100% on board. It would be interesting to hear you talk about what happens behind the curtains of being single at the age were everyone around is dating, how to deal with loneliness (cus it does happen) etc.
I really appreciate this episode. I am so proud of these ladies. I have seen so much growth and confidence coming out of each ladies. Keep on keeping on ladies....💪😄
I've went to watch movies by myself plenty of times. Nothing wrong with it, and don't have to worry about being with someone asking questions during the movie.
I was single my whole life and I barely dated around at all. I went thru college, uni and started work without any dates. And suddenly now I'm attached to my boyfriend who I know I'm going to marry. Life works in funny ways. Not only do you have to give others a chance, you need to give *yourself* a chance to be happy with someone. I used to self sabotage so much as well. But I got tired and sad of denying myself all that time just because that is what I was used to. And I'm so glad I reached that point. Good luck ladies. Whatever it be, be happy and don't regret whatever you do choose to have or be!
Great video! Feeling the same too, with all the several thoughts you've shared concerning being single in this age. Also going to the movies by myself is fun tbh. I've done that a few times.
This was a nice episode especially it being an all girl episode and them showing it is important to be happy with yourself and being happy with yourself doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship. Just gotta work on yourself and what happens just happens. Even though I am a dude it is kind of more empowering to me hearing women say it
I enjoyed the reference at the beginning to “the girls’ room!” Haha. Also enjoyed the rest of the video as well! It was interesting hearing their thoughts
Echoing Jessica, go see a movie alone!! If being alone is a concern, maybe you could try a daytime showing at a theater in an area you're really comfortable?
There's nothing wrong with being single! If that's how you enjoy life keep on! At every stage of life there will always be opinions and FOMO. Make the right choice for yourself. And making babies for the sake of giving parents grand kids not really sure that's the best reason for kids.
Growing up, I've always been a daydreamer and romanticist. I would say I didn't have as many struggles growing up, so it gave me time to yearn and dream about falling in love with the one. As I've become an adult, there have been many difficult things thrown at me, aka 'life', and it made me realise how much precious stuff there is to the world other than love. I've been going through a year-long battle of a range of health issues, I really just don't have time to find or place importance upon love when I'm really trying to heal my body and become healthy again. It's interesting how perspective changes as we go through our own struggles!
I'm twenty-eight and a lot (with a few exceptions) of the relationships that I know of that I would want to be like that ended in marriage were with people who were high school sweethearts or they knew each other and reconnected. I don't have anyone like that and I have come across guys who got flirty with me, but no one to really start anything with. I had family drama and then unnecessary drama in my friend group (with some of it still around) for the longest time and the pandemic doesn't make dating that safe, so I think I'll definitely have to wait until like thirty-five-thirty-eight to be married. Luckily, my parents don't pressure me for kids, although I have expressed I want the idea of raising kids. I want to adopt, but it might not happen. Sometimes raising kids scares me too, because I think of all the drama I went through with friends and I don't want to do it again. I always wanted to be a mom though, so sometimes I wish my cousins or sister would get kids and I could at least be an aunt. Maybe, I'll get with someone who is already an uncle.
It's strange cause I know that in my life and recovery, I don't want ever in my life to be in a romantic relationship or children (and hate it when people say that that will change as you grow and transition into new stages in life). Having bipolar disorder, and a lot of trauma that has been built up, I feel like relationships would screw up all of the progress I've made working through my trauma and manifestations of manic depression when alone. I have the tendency to be very dependent on others (Borderline Personality Disorder), and I honestly think that if I don't learn to meet my own developmental needs now, it's not a good direction. I'm not going to but $10,000+ of counselling, psychiatry, and psychotherapy go down the drain just for a person. It would consume all of my time, which is so necessary in putting my mental wellness as priority. I've had so much resentment toward my mother who never worked through any of her abandonment issues, or lack of stability that was in her youth and impulsively got pregnant and had me (and keeps on reminding me that I screwed up her life), and has a history of mental illness. My genes are defective, and bipolar disorder is very hereditary and it's so hard to manage, as me -why the heck do I want an offspring to also be stuck with it. Relational trauma is made so evident and destructive when you're in a romantic relationship (already see it so much in my frienships), my parent's divorced, my best friend got divorced (I've seen how ugly the fallout is), my other best friend is now realising her childhood abuse shaped how she relates to her husband and just recently began therapy- eight years after my initial diagnosis, I'm pretty resolute that any complications will cause my life to unravel. Mental illness shapes a whole shift in expectations. (I just celebrated my 24th birthday)
In terms of prioritizing what to focus on, whether it be career or love, I have always been told by mentors and elders like, "don't look for a partner, life will bring you those things", so I tend to prioritize keeping my job and leveling up. But my concern is like, I'll meet interesting and attractive people, but how will I know that it's the right person?
oooh that's a good mantra to live by! it's very over said, but when you meet and get to know the right person, I think your heart just knows. It also depends on your definition of right person but the butterflies-in-stomach feelings are usually an indication to guide you. Usually the person you like to be around, feel like you can be unapologetically yourself with, and most importantly, RESPECTS you :)
It is the right person when they share the same values in life as you. For me it was going to church together, same culture/language, appreciating the simple life we have and also being able fo enstill same values in our future children.
While there is more openness towards the “working woman,” the truth is that job industries and society expects women to be both: the nurturer, submissive type and the ambitious, career progressive type. And there are systems in place that make it challenging for a woman to do both (e.g. unaccommodating maternity leave, wage gaps, etc) ON TOP OF looking fit, having flawless skin, etc. etc. WOMEN, JUST KNOW THAT Y’ALL ARE QUEENS 👸🏻 I feel like in the process and efforts to become successful in this world, I sacrificed my health and well-being and I wouldn’t have been able to make it without my strong, supportive female single friends. We were in it together. And while most of us are now in relationships, we are who we are together because of the women in our lives.
Dont feel bad for being older and single ladies there are guys that are also out there that career focused just like you are. Im 24 and still am working on perfecting myself for myself to have the perfect wife for me. Tbh i think that alot of people have a hard finding a person to be with because they are not open minded like dating outside of race or even financial status. These things cause especially relationships to be harder because if the woman makes more money the man is seen as weak or non alpha. But really society has a big deal with the success of a person. Like for me my family has a very mid to low income background so technically i am the one in my family that my parents expects to be rich and bring them out of poverty and so that pressure causes alot of men to work on making more money than their girlfriend instead of actually having the guts to talk to a woman that actually makes more money or status no matter what society has to say.
We love our Wong Fu ladies and their insightful stories and opinions. Let us know about a moment YOU felt empowered by being single! We'd love to hear it 😊
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I think it´s great that you´re raising this topic. Especially when most Wong Fu vids are about relationships, which could contribute to the relationship pressure for some people. As someone who was single (but dating here and there) for all of her 20s, it often feels like the whole world sees being single as being a bit of a loser/being too picky/not having achieved something. I wish the world would put more focus on the pros of being single, that being single does not mean you´re failing at dating, etc (dating = meeting a ton of people who aren´t right/who treat you badly/who ghost you. It really is a full time job and it´s definitely like looking for a needle in a haystack). We need more shows and films about single life, because there are so many gems in single life, too, and there are so many issues about it that people in relationships don´t get (in fact, people who have always been in relationships often contribute to the bad feelings around singleness - they make you think you´re not doing enough, being too picky, etc.).
I hate it when people say you're "being picky." Nah, you've got standards. Don't settle! You deserve to find someone who rises to your standards!
yeh!!! 😤
I'D RATHER NOT WASTE MY TIME FAM
@@shelbyhigh7904 SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
Standards are important, but I think it’s important to be flexible and realistic because here is really no perfect person. Makes me think of a line in 500 days of summer (great movie about love and relationships) where a character says, “I think technically the ‘girl of my dreams’ would probably have like a really bodacious rack, you know; maybe different hair; she’d probably be a little more into sports… But truthfully, Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real”
for my ladiessssssss ❤️
Lol and J. minh? 😎🙃
Before getting in a relationship with my now-husband, I was single for 5 years. I LOVED taking me-dates: eating at my favorite restaurant, watching a movie in the theater, going to the park, etc all by myself. At first it was a little awkward, but it really gave me a lot of self-confidence and autonomy not to lean on my friends to go do something I want to when I wanted.
yeeesss me-dates are so great and kind of empowering! i totally relate to the feeling autonomous when not leaning on friends❤️
Absolutely! It wasn’t until I lived alone in a new city while going to school/work that I truly fell in love MORE with my me-time. I miss getting dolled up, exploring the city, finding food spots, and spending hours being present in that moment with just myself. 🥰
True I do me dates when my mom looks after the kids and my husband out of town working. Like a refresh new hair cut, a little shopping not food or something I want to eat not what everyone else decided on and get eat it myself without someone staring me down or even a movie I been wanting to see but not for kids and not hubby thing.. 😆
Its funny that most Asian parents told us not to be in a relationship when you're in school, but as soon as you graduate, they expect us to be married and have kid =.=
In life you are able to choose to be single .give u much fredoom to do what u want to do with your life
“Why am I stuck here while other people are leveling up through life?” OHH FELTTTT
Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, is getting married really considered "leveling up"? Doesn't make sense. If you are happy with your own life and achievements and goals, that's leveling up, even more so than married people who do nothing useful.
From the viewpoint of a guy, you girls should definitely feel very proud of yourselves for being able to be independent. It's a big deal. Respect.
How are people suppose to have a relationship when people can't even have friendships these days? smh
Truth
Facts
Your not missing out on much
their waterbottles, powerpuff girls!
WHOAAAAA each powerpuff matches us perfectly too 😳
omg we didn't even notice!!
OMG, yes! I guess WF girls are officially Power Puff Girls now! ❤️💙💚
Where did jessica got her water bottle? It is kinda cute. 😊
@@heymantisamae it looks like the animal crossing new horizons water bottle!
Turned 27 this year and I definitely can relate to the fact that I'm fine with being by myself but at times can feel lonely when you don't have that one person you can always go to for just about anything.
Definitely felt the pressure of looking for someone to get married to and having kids with as my peers do, especially when the the single ones feel like it's the next thing on the list.
i never understood why people "craved" to be in a relationship so much, or that they should always be liking someone, or be with someone.
being single gives you so much room for growth, for independence, and it makes you realize that the greatest love you can ever receive comes from yourself ♡
That's true but how much more independent can you get if you're one of those people who have never been in a relationship? People get lonely, they start to crave being in a relationship a lot. You want to cuddle, you want to hold hands, you want someone to kiss, you want someone to hug, someone to be there for you and vice versa. You want to feel loved and needed. Being single is great if it's your choice to be single. For others it's the reality that feels like it will never change. It can cause extreme loneliness and depression.
As a fellow single gal in her mid-twenties, these are the kind of women I want to be friends with ❤️
wow, super honored :')
I love being single. The more times I got involved with men, the more stress it gave me lol! Definitely don’t take advantage of being alone. Getting involved with someone else just means new responsibilities and make sure you’re ready for it. We’re too focused on finding the right one when all we need to do is be the right one to ourselves.
"The idea of love seemed an invasion. I had thoughts to think, a craft to learn, a self to discover. Solitude was a gift. A world was waiting to welcome me if I was willing to enter it alone” - Vivian Gornick
Thank you for making this episode! I just turned 33 and it feels like the clock is ticking on finding the right relationship for me. In my 20s, I was definitely more focused on my career, and I still am. But in my 20s, even though there were times that I was lonely, I wanted to focus on myself. In my 30s, I want to focus on myself but I also want to share my life with someone. I feel the pressure, both internal and external, to find a partner, but it also feels like there’s no time to dedicate to a relationship! AAAAHHHH!!! Life is complicated, isn’t it?
glad it resonated!!
There's pressure on everyone, but especially on women. It's so frustrating, as if I'm not a real person unless I'm married to a man.
i feel that T_T but let's keep proving society wrong
This
I was a care tech at a hospital in the south and this little old lady called me "so sweet!" "Not married, but still sweet!". But I also meet people in their 40s and up who accept that being single is not a value judgement or accomplishment, so its more a generational belief. I think theres a growing number of people who accept that you don't have to be married to be "somebody".
Ehh why enjoy the freedom the ones bother you about it probably not happy and wish could join them 😆
It doesn't give people time to be a fully-formed human, on their own, an identity that is not dependent on a partner. That's why I feel breakups for couples who have spent so much time together, that they've formed a version within a relationship, and lost who they are before, as an independent creature, why it is so disorientating I feel. You never know who you are when you are on your own. To be alone with your thoughts and feelings, and trauma and figure them out. Even more so as a woman
I’m in my 30s and still single... and I love being single.🥰
Let’s go on a date 🥺
Yes bois I’m simping she won’t see this anyway 😂
I was catching up with some old classmates once, and they asked me in a *hushed tone* "wait, are you single?" I thought it was funny and low-key grossed out that they said it that way! YES I'M SINGLEEEEEEEEEEE. I'LL SAY IT LOUDER FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK I!!!
HAHAHA HELL YEAH GIRL!!!!!
POP OFFFF!!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
😆 I am not single let's say it's a matter of choice you don't feel like caring for other doesn't mean your a bad person you just want look after yourself first which is also important.
Haha, noticed Jenn’s phone case with Matcha characteristics. She must be a huge fan for it!
Syncing the idea “Its good to have someone, but I don’t mind being single”. That’s such a mature mindset:)
just trying to find my right matcha made in heaven yaknow 🍵
Being single during the pandemic has been absolutely dreadful. Online dates aren't too bad but not going out to meet people is rough. Thank god for vaccines. I didn't want to risk getting my family sick so I mostly stayed home all year but man it's been lonely af. Excited for this to be over.
Yea, I've spent way more time with my roommate than I ever expected.
Up until recently, I was single for 27 years so I could relate to so many things in this video. I’m glad for the time that I was single because it helped me grow as a person and know my worth. So when you put in the effort to date (2 years on-and-off dating apps for me ugh) it’s easier to know when that person is right for you or not. Just remember to have fun, be safe, be yourself and take a break when you need to. It may take a while but it’ll be worth it in the end.
i love this!!! wish we can have more lunchbreaks or a side show with just the female cast of wongfu!
there is honestly nothing wrong with being single, sometimes things are just like that and i have various friends around my age (mid 20s) who are single our whole lives who are doing just fine! live your life and do whatever works for you and makes you happy! here’s one to all my girls out there!!
i'm 32. i thought i would be married at 25 and have 2 kids by now. hilarious. came out a year ago and very single, but i'm loving it. self love/discovery takes time. don't rush and don't settle.
Thank you ladies, such a great Lunch Break! I pandini'd single and everytime I started to feel sorry for myself I thought about the people who were quaratining with a partner they discovered was not a good fit but were stuck with it.
YASSS, AN ALL GIRLS EP!
first lunch break i've seen in a long time and I thoroughly enjoyed the company and conversation as 29 year old who has been single for a quite a long time now
Love this! I’ve been slowly getting more comfortable with being single because I was in relationships from 15-27 and I got out of a 4 year relationship 4 months ago. I was always able to let go of people in the past and move on to the next relationship but with me being at my age I don’t want to jump into anything super quick. Im also not over my ex. I am usually over an ex after a few months tops but this was the longest I’ve ever been with anyone and it’s hard to go from being best friends for 4 years to not even being able to say hi. Now that I lost that best friend I have to do things on my own. I’ve gotten so far personally in the past 4 months and I’m really proud of myself but I still want to share that with them. It’s tough but seeing you ladies today gives me hope that I’ll get through it.
The convo from about the 6-7 minute mark, exactly, that's what I want! Not necessarily a romantic partner, but someone with whom we're each other's number one. (QPRs!)
this was such a good convo! i'm honestly having fun just dating myself and not putting pressure on myself to date anyone yet. especially since we're still in a panorama.
🤣 in a panorama, what a beautiful place to be
I am not Asian...I am not in my twenties....more early 30's....and I can still relate😊. This topic cut across race, age, geography, culture...thanks ladies for your vulnerability💪💪, thanks Wong Fu for continued great content👏👏
It was very validating to hear about the girls' opinion and takes on being single in 20s.
I think it´s great that you´re raising this topic. Especially when most Wong Fu vids are about relationships, which could contribute to the relationship pressure for some people. As someone who was single (but dating here and there) for all of her 20s, it often feels like the whole world sees being single as being a bit of a loser/being too picky/not having achieved something. I wish the world would put more focus on the pros of being single, that being single does not mean you´re failing at dating, etc (dating = meeting a ton of people who aren´t right/who treat you badly/who ghost you. It really is a full time job and it´s definitely like looking for a needle in a haystack). We need more shows and films about single life, because there are so many gems in single life, too, and there are so many issues about it that people in relationships don´t get (in fact, people who have always been in relationships often contribute to the bad feelings around singleness - they make you think you´re not doing enough, being too picky, etc.).
I love this! Thanks for making this. I have felt the pressure myself and I’m glad I’m not alone.
What a perfect timing. So relatable. My eldest sister got married two years ago and my second sister got married just last month, and now every time I meet friends, relatives, or colleagues, everybody is like, "When's your turn? Do you have someone already?" Gosh, even the word "marriage," "wedding," and anything related to those can give me anxiety. Can't I have some peace to take care of myself first? 🤧
I mean, I can't even cook properly, and driving by myself is scary! I want to be able to stand up for myself first. I don't want to impose everything on my significant other. If there were a guy, I would us to take care of each other, not only him taking care of me or vice versa. 🙊
Oops. Sorry for ranting. Guess I've kept this one bottled up for some time.
don't apologize! your feelings and experiences are valid. thank you for sharing ❤️ yes, i feel the wanting to feel more self confident & basically loving yourself part. don't try to find a partner to make yourself feel whole & take it at your own pace, you're doing great :)
@@michellehsieh246 Thank you very much for the comforting words, Michelle. ❤
Another single lady in her mid (and approaching late) 20's here 😭. This episode was so relatable. Thanks for this episode!
Moved across the world to Korea by myself, got a full time job, paid off my loans, helped out my parents, and many other milestones as a single in my twenties. I could relate with a lot of what you guys shared here.
For me, I didn’t want to date in high school as I felt it was too young. But I’ve felt “ready” to date for awhile now it’s just that nothing has ever worked out. I am a bit picky in the sense that Michele mentioned. I don’t want to date someone just to have someone or just anyone. I want to be with someone who is a good person, supports me, we get along, etc. Never been interested in playing around. But the other aspect is just that the guys who (I think) might have been interested in me I was not interested in back and vice versa. Just having someone you like like you back is amazing to me. Also agree with the idea that going on tons of dates and using dating apps still feels really awkward to me and I’m not there yet.
But, yeah, I’m living my life to the fullest and hoping someday soon things will work out for me to find a partner.
You go girl! 파이팅!
i just turned 20, and I kind of feel this! like a lot of friends are starting to date whereas I’m less interested in that and more interested in developing myself - the pandemic definitely doesn’t help
You've got your whole life ahead of you and the rest of your 20s (and 30s and beyond...) to worry about that love! I remember turning 20 and thinking there was something wrong with me because I was single, but then I realised that I can do so much more with my life when I'm only having to "worry" about myself (having another person to care about can definitely be stressful 😂). Of course, it's nice to have a partner to go through life with and share your burdens with, but right now you should focus on developing yourself, figuring out your likes and dislikes, and growing in your friendships. Friendships will be there when relationships break down - don't forget that 🤭
Don't feel pressured into dating if you don't feel ready and especially if you don't want to 👍🏾 People will always have something to say, even when you get into a relationship 🙄
Your adult life has only just begun and there are bigger things for you to be concerned with than finding a partner (for the next few months, years or forever) 🤗
I'm 31 this year and super single. Had my heart broken last year and I'm just done for now, man. It'll happen when it happens and when I meet someone who actually WANTS to be with me (so rare with our hookup generation). Imma focus on my career and other areas of my life.
My favorite episode. I really related to this being single and 25. Thanks for being so open & honestly girls! 🥰
yaaay glad you enjoyed! 💛
aww thank youu! we love sharing our stories so many other women like us can relate 😊
Loved this episode! Thank you so much for being an inspiration to young ladies who are not in a relationship. You help normalize such a stigmatized topic by having these conversations. It's okay to be in your 20's without a partner. If a family is something you want, wait for the right partner to come in creating a family together. In the meantime, enjoy your independence and freedom without responsibilities and dependents to look after
It’s about time for a girls episode!
I recently turned 20 and as a Mexican male being single means something not so good.😂 but honestly I’m over it. Feeling pressured or less than Cz I “don’t have my woman”. If my partner isn’t on the same wavelength it’s better to let bygones be bygones. Standards are placed for a reason and honesty trust and loyalty isn’t in every single pretty face we meet.
"my husband could've been at that birthday party" lmaooo 😂😂
a girl can dream
I felt most empowered being single each time I don't condemn a flaw I believe I have, and instead drill down as to why I feel that way and make an effort to learn and grow.
This whole conversation is so relatable and mature! Definitely felt the “everyone is levelling up” while I’m stuck here 😭
As a fellow single lady in her mid-twenties, this was so validating and relatable.
I am confident and comfortable being single in my mid-twenties. But I also always wanted to have kids and experience as much as I can with my future Mr. Right. So for me it's more a time crunch thing. Like oh it takes roughly a couple years to get to know eachother, you wanna travel together, live together and experience everything together before raising kids. I'm just scared of not being healthy enough anymore when I'm over 30.
As I was typing this they started talking about the timeline😂 I really felt the "I should've met him yesterday" lol🤣
yessssss ITS SO REAL!
i really enjoyed hearing everyone's thoughts on this topic!! i related to a lot of the things mentioned (e.g., michelle not really having that maternal instinct for kids, jenn being the eldest daughter and her perspective on dating apps, etc.)
it dawned on me that my mom had me when she was 22 (then got married to my dad 2 months after i was born) meanwhile i turn 22 later this year and have never been in anything close to a romantic relationship so i can't even imagine having a whole kid at this point in my life lol
how can I have a baby when I'm a baby............. 🥴
As a woman, no matter what path you choose, single or not, will be criticized in some way. I'm not single but I still get criticized about aspects of my relationship form society. People can say "why are you still single" or "you've been together so long how come you guys aren't married yet?"
As a human being, no matter what path you choose, woman or man, will be criticized in thousands of different way. It is called life and we all have to deal with it.
Advice from someone who’s been happily married for 2 years. Not doing it again, it’s hella work! No one ever talks about how stressful a marriage is and when shit hits the fan. I thought my job was stressful, but at least I get paid to get stressed. Enjoy being single
That was the most beautiful “Lunnnch Break!” I’ve ever heard
The episode feels like big sisters giving relationship/life advice
The way you see life changes so much in your college year, 20s, 30s. I feel old at 32
Gosh I loveeeeee you guys for doing this episode because it echos so much of my thoughts and just hugs for all of you! Even if you never find someone, you have people that love you all and support you in your career and life and thanks for being Asian Americans and speaking up with these experiences!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Finding what we love to do and live is always gonna be the best thing to go for, of course fingers crossed for all of you when you wanna meet that special someone along the way of your life and career
When I was single, I hated the dating and getting to know people phrase. People are always putting a front, and I have no patience to unravel it. I’m guilty of it too. I put my best foot forward but I was just so tired of not being myself. As much as I liked being single I’m much happier now with my best friend/boyfriend. I like doing my own thing the majority of the time but it’s so nice to have a go-to person who I can trust 100%.
I've never resonated so hard with a video. Thank you for such a candid discussion - it made me feel like I'm not weird and validated a lot that I feel and am going through with at this time!
Oh my god this is so relatable. This episode makes me feel so relieved and understood. Thank you for this conversation!
So proud of hearing this from you ladies, and it's important to know that you are NOT alone. It's also important to remember that the freedom (social, professional, and financial) you have to be having this conversation and generally not "settling" or being forced into a relationship for protection (again social, financial, or physical) is a result of generations of women breaking barriers and paving the way us. I am a huge proponent of family, but not just to check that box. And as you said, if you really desired they type of a relationship over everything else you would take the actions to move in that direction, it is still an option.
I think for me was that time I traveled alone in another country I've never been before. I discovered more about myself and being able to do that and coming back alive was really empowering for me. It broke a lot of apprehensions and boundaries.
this conversation made me really happy. thanks peeps! :D
I really enjoyed this episode! Moments I felt empowered to be flying solo is being able to make travel plans without having to consult anyone and the traveling itself 🛫 Thanks!
i LOVEEEEE Jessica's new hair!! AND GOSH I RLY NEEDED THIS EPISODE
Im not in any rush to get into a relationship and honestly a majority of the pressure is from my parents. They want grandchildren really badly and Im just like IM JUST 24, IM NOT GUNNA POP OUT A BABY ANYTIME SOON lol
Love it how they're like "don't even look at a man" until you turn 22 and then they're like "when are you going to get married and have babies?"
@@SirAgravaine YESSS!! Exactly that!!!
@@SirAgravaine And they wonder why the divorce rate in America is so high.
Yaaaay!! Definitely such a relatable topic, I can’t wait to watch my faves 🥰
I never saw going on a lot of dates often as a bad thing. Nothing wrong with being picky (never settle!) but I liked to go on more dates to offset the amount of ppl that brought red flags. With alot of self reflection, they're each a good learning experience and if it doesn't work out, at least you met a new person.
Met my SO at the beginning of the Pandemic, doing good!
maybe it's just being affected by casual dating stigma 😔 glad things are working out for you! hehe ❤️
And when you feel ready no one comes up and we go back to the ok not ready yet and loose that window of opportunity. Also transitioning from the working on myself not ready stage to the im ready stage is a whole different thing from actually STARTING finding someone and making that decision of "ok this is happening im going forward with this person", breaking that routine is not easy since we always come back to the reasosn why not. At the end, i believe we'll find someone when we have to, and when it does happen we'll be 100% on board.
It would be interesting to hear you talk about what happens behind the curtains of being single at the age were everyone around is dating, how to deal with loneliness (cus it does happen) etc.
Yoooo these three need a Wong Fu skit. Just these 3. That'll be super.
haha the period skit was basically a dramatization of our convos... close enough 🤪
I really appreciate this episode. I am so proud of these ladies. I have seen so much growth and confidence coming out of each ladies. Keep on keeping on ladies....💪😄
never heard of the bechdel test! how interesting, thanks for sharing jessica!
a v much needed all girls ep! thank you for being our older sisters and empowering asian boss girls of wong fu💞
aw 🥺💗💗💗
I've went to watch movies by myself plenty of times. Nothing wrong with it, and don't have to worry about being with someone asking questions during the movie.
I was single my whole life and I barely dated around at all. I went thru college, uni and started work without any dates. And suddenly now I'm attached to my boyfriend who I know I'm going to marry. Life works in funny ways. Not only do you have to give others a chance, you need to give *yourself* a chance to be happy with someone. I used to self sabotage so much as well. But I got tired and sad of denying myself all that time just because that is what I was used to. And I'm so glad I reached that point. Good luck ladies. Whatever it be, be happy and don't regret whatever you do choose to have or be!
Great video! Feeling the same too, with all the several thoughts you've shared concerning being single in this age.
Also going to the movies by myself is fun tbh. I've done that a few times.
Loved this lunch break!
Enjoyed hearing the female perspective on this. Keep up the great content!
This was a nice episode especially it being an all girl episode and them showing it is important to be happy with yourself and being happy with yourself doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship. Just gotta work on yourself and what happens just happens.
Even though I am a dude it is kind of more empowering to me hearing women say it
thanks for sharing!! glad to hear it resonated! 😄
this is my new fav lunch break ep, i feel safe here😌
I enjoyed the reference at the beginning to “the girls’ room!” Haha. Also enjoyed the rest of the video as well! It was interesting hearing their thoughts
Jess with bangs is such a vibe???
LOOKIN LIKE A BAD B 🔥
❤️❤️❤️
I was just having this thought just yesterday. Thank you for making a video about this, it makes me feel better about myself! :)
the timing!! we're all going through it together 💛
This was so lovely to watch, thank you for sharing. (:
Echoing Jessica, go see a movie alone!! If being alone is a concern, maybe you could try a daytime showing at a theater in an area you're really comfortable?
RELATABLE AF LOVE WONG FU GALS 🥺❤️
Great and fun discussion ladies. 👏
I totally feel this on a spiritual state. Everything mentioned in the video just hit me hard bc I relate.
There's nothing wrong with being single! If that's how you enjoy life keep on! At every stage of life there will always be opinions and FOMO. Make the right choice for yourself. And making babies for the sake of giving parents grand kids not really sure that's the best reason for kids.
Growing up, I've always been a daydreamer and romanticist. I would say I didn't have as many struggles growing up, so it gave me time to yearn and dream about falling in love with the one. As I've become an adult, there have been many difficult things thrown at me, aka 'life', and it made me realise how much precious stuff there is to the world other than love. I've been going through a year-long battle of a range of health issues, I really just don't have time to find or place importance upon love when I'm really trying to heal my body and become healthy again. It's interesting how perspective changes as we go through our own struggles!
Can't believe how relateable this is loved this!
wow...tough topic takes courage hats off to thr ladies
There's 4 water bottles in this episode
u right
Where? I’ve looked through the whole episode 😭
Especially CNY ! Every year the same question will pop up. Sigh
I'm twenty-eight and a lot (with a few exceptions) of the relationships that I know of that I would want to be like that ended in marriage were with people who were high school sweethearts or they knew each other and reconnected. I don't have anyone like that and I have come across guys who got flirty with me, but no one to really start anything with.
I had family drama and then unnecessary drama in my friend group (with some of it still around) for the longest time and the pandemic doesn't make dating that safe, so I think I'll definitely have to wait until like thirty-five-thirty-eight to be married. Luckily, my parents don't pressure me for kids, although I have expressed I want the idea of raising kids.
I want to adopt, but it might not happen. Sometimes raising kids scares me too, because I think of all the drama I went through with friends and I don't want to do it again. I always wanted to be a mom though, so sometimes I wish my cousins or sister would get kids and I could at least be an aunt. Maybe, I'll get with someone who is already an uncle.
It's strange cause I know that in my life and recovery, I don't want ever in my life to be in a romantic relationship or children (and hate it when people say that that will change as you grow and transition into new stages in life).
Having bipolar disorder, and a lot of trauma that has been built up, I feel like relationships would screw up all of the progress I've made working through my trauma and manifestations of manic depression when alone. I have the tendency to be very dependent on others (Borderline Personality Disorder), and I honestly think that if I don't learn to meet my own developmental needs now, it's not a good direction. I'm not going to but $10,000+ of counselling, psychiatry, and psychotherapy go down the drain just for a person. It would consume all of my time, which is so necessary in putting my mental wellness as priority. I've had so much resentment toward my mother who never worked through any of her abandonment issues, or lack of stability that was in her youth and impulsively got pregnant and had me (and keeps on reminding me that I screwed up her life), and has a history of mental illness. My genes are defective, and bipolar disorder is very hereditary and it's so hard to manage, as me -why the heck do I want an offspring to also be stuck with it.
Relational trauma is made so evident and destructive when you're in a romantic relationship (already see it so much in my frienships), my parent's divorced, my best friend got divorced (I've seen how ugly the fallout is), my other best friend is now realising her childhood abuse shaped how she relates to her husband and just recently began therapy- eight years after my initial diagnosis, I'm pretty resolute that any complications will cause my life to unravel.
Mental illness shapes a whole shift in expectations.
(I just celebrated my 24th birthday)
In terms of prioritizing what to focus on, whether it be career or love, I have always been told by mentors and elders like, "don't look for a partner, life will bring you those things", so I tend to prioritize keeping my job and leveling up. But my concern is like, I'll meet interesting and attractive people, but how will I know that it's the right person?
oooh that's a good mantra to live by! it's very over said, but when you meet and get to know the right person, I think your heart just knows. It also depends on your definition of right person but the butterflies-in-stomach feelings are usually an indication to guide you. Usually the person you like to be around, feel like you can be unapologetically yourself with, and most importantly, RESPECTS you :)
It is the right person when they share the same values in life as you. For me it was going to church together, same culture/language, appreciating the simple life we have and also being able fo enstill same values in our future children.
love this conversation! insightful and fun to watch :) also POKE!!!
GG. I'm in my 30's and still single. #foreveralone
I love this girl talk!
While there is more openness towards the “working woman,” the truth is that job industries and society expects women to be both: the nurturer, submissive type and the ambitious, career progressive type. And there are systems in place that make it challenging for a woman to do both (e.g. unaccommodating maternity leave, wage gaps, etc) ON TOP OF looking fit, having flawless skin, etc. etc. WOMEN, JUST KNOW THAT Y’ALL ARE QUEENS 👸🏻 I feel like in the process and efforts to become successful in this world, I sacrificed my health and well-being and I wouldn’t have been able to make it without my strong, supportive female single friends. We were in it together. And while most of us are now in relationships, we are who we are together because of the women in our lives.
Dont feel bad for being older and single ladies there are guys that are also out there that career focused just like you are. Im 24 and still am working on perfecting myself for myself to have the perfect wife for me. Tbh i think that alot of people have a hard finding a person to be with because they are not open minded like dating outside of race or even financial status. These things cause especially relationships to be harder because if the woman makes more money the man is seen as weak or non alpha. But really society has a big deal with the success of a person. Like for me my family has a very mid to low income background so technically i am the one in my family that my parents expects to be rich and bring them out of poverty and so that pressure causes alot of men to work on making more money than their girlfriend instead of actually having the guts to talk to a woman that actually makes more money or status no matter what society has to say.
I feel like everything said/discussed, v. relatable