My first husband was from a Valley in Kashmir and I am born in the UK. He told me women were the same as dirt on your shoe. It was a lonely marriage for me and I had the courage to divorce him. Wasted of 10 years of my life caused by forced arranged marriage. Glad you bought this up Taz. I moved to the UAE and here the guys collect women like trophies, At least 50% are married and have side chicks. Double standards prevail, it’s ok for the men to have as many women as they wish, the wives suffer in silence.
People on here are saying that their partner is so respectful and accepting. I get it is not all muslim men. But this isnt about you and your partner. This about the culture as a whole. Thank you tazz that you spoke up about this. We need muslim men and women to speak up about it this. It might take hundreds of years to get up to date with the rest of the world.
It certaintly is a cultural thing. But it is often thrown on religion. But some seem to be more liberal with it. Kurds or other groups muslims who have opened to a more open way of life seems to fit in the western world just fine. While conservative Berbers or other North African cultures don't exactly have a good reputation in Western Europe. Of course, this also depends on personal values. But like I said, it is often put on religion. My co-worker is from Somalia, and an open minded muslim. She was shocked how Berber muslims thought it was totally normal to be shitty towards women. Local Social work has entire branches meant to help muslim women out of abusive relationships. Often these women are from poor Moroccan families in an arranged marriage with a man who is already considered toxic in his own community. No "modern" muslim woman would want him. So an arranged marriage it is. Honor killing or being disowned by family is also still happening even in Europe. If their son turns out to be gay, or their daughter wants to stop practicing Islam and marry a non muslim.
Tbh a woman talking about this won't do anything, we need men to speak up, but they don't because then the worst thing ever might happen to them, their masculinity might be questioned, the horror!
@@Fuzz82 I was surprised by your comment until I understood you were talking about Morocco, cause in Algeria it's the opposite, Berbers are the most open minded group. I'm generalising of course, people from cities will always be more open minded than people in rural areas, living on the coast is also a big factor. Then there are inexplicable cases, I have a cousin who's an anomaly in our family, his dad, brother, uncles ate super liberal and he's the opposite
Tazzy is the Muslim youtuber we all needed! I'm so proud and happy that you spoke up about this. You're so laid back and manage to convey your point with such articulacy. I'm soo glad to have a female Muslim youtuber I can relate to. Love youuu
TRUE Muslims are awesome people, but I live in a Muslim country and the sheer amount of open hypocrisy by (mostly) men is unreal and, honestly, creates an extremely unsafe and paranoid environment for women, at least in my city. If they actually followed Islam, respected one another, and feared Allah, it would be completely different. I could write a book on the things I've seen, I swear.
‘’Our obsession with not trying to offend people, our difficulty in navigating these conversations because we have other people watching us and using those things against us prohibits us from being honest and tackling these issues. Because the truth of the matter is, these are real issues’’ THIS. is so important Tasneem. Thank you so much for the amazing content lately this is exactly what the community needs whether some like it or not. The truth is bitter sometimes but this is needed to reach awareness and change. May Allah bless you.
If you were to die today, are you a 100% sure you will go to heaven? If no, here is what the bible says, (1) Romans 3:23 KJV [23] For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. Q1. Do you know what Sin is? Sin is anything bad that we have done. Q2. Have you sinned before? Yes or No? (2) Revelation 21:8 KJV [8] But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. Because they have sinned, and God does not allow Sin into Heaven, the punishment is burning hell. What is the way to reconcile our peace and relationship with God? Q3. Do you know the Story of Jesus? (3) Romans 5:8 KJV [8] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Jesus = God who lived up in Heaven, but he came down on earth and became a man like us, he lived for 33.5 years without committing any sin. Then there were certain people who were jealous and therefore framed him on phony charges, and crucified him. Then he was buried and resurrected on the third day; Now he lives in HEAVEN. Q4. Do you know why Jesus went through all this bloody mess for us? A4. As mentioned, our sin is the reason why we can’t go to heaven, and the only thing that can wash away our sin is the Blood of Jesus. (4) Romans 5:9 KJV [9] Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. According to the bible, the only way for us to reconcile with God is through Christ Jesus’s blood, and not through any works that we do or merits we accumulate, such as water baptism, attending church, or any good thing that we do. The following verses clearly support this. (5) Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV [8] For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast. (6) 2 Corinthians 7:10 KJV [10] For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. In order to get saved, repentance of one’s sin is needed to get saved, we need to be sorry, and repent, with conviction, that we are a wretched sinner. (7) Romans 10:9 KJV [9] That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. If you truly do believe in everything you have heard in the gospel, ,I strongly suggest you to make a proclamation to GOD! You can say it to God in less than 15 seconds !Repeat after this simple prayer, to make sure you truly get saved. Remember repeating this prayer doesn't save you, it's you telling God you BELIEVE THE GOSPEL. Ok, here is the prayer : ‘Dear GOD, I know I am a sinner, as I repent, I put my faith, that Jesus is GOD, and that he died, buried and resurrected, so that his blood, can wash away my Sins. I put my faith in that alone to save me, not my good works. In Jesus’s holy name, I pray. Amen! ‘Congratulations ! Now you are a child of God. Download /Buy a KJV bible (I highly suggest getting a hard copy bible , as one day, it will be illegal to buy, own or even have an online version of the bible) and search for youtube channels like Truthunedited, REAL Bible Believers , The Bible Project, AoC Network, Robert Clancy, Spencer Smith to help you grow , study dispensationalism to understand the bible (I recommend the dispensationalism video from Genesis to Revelations by Dr. Gene Kim, th-cam.com/video/GI4CteEFxOk/w-d-xo.html) , join a bible believing church. God bless you brother/ sister ☺. See you in heaven one day! Please help share the gospel, feeel free to copy and paste this
One thing I really don't appreciate-Quran does have regulations for men and women both but why men act like they are responsible to make sure that women strictly follow it? Many men are not so religious in my country but it's important that they mandate their wives in terms of religion. This is so hypocrite while women here don't really bother to do the same with men, it always comes down to "men will be men" and even they do try to instruct men they will literally start barking at those women I have seen it many times.
i aint a muslim and i noticed that too, always confused me beyond belief at how entitled men can be and over a religion that they themsleves are meant to follow….like??? they act like they are some kind of god themselves
I think what scares me the most is that how people in these communities and individuals have this thinking process that people especially women wearing certain clothes is bad or sinful but then when it comes to the abuse, control, and blatant misogyny, nothing’s said at all and half the people don’t even think it’s bad or sinful or anything.
This is why islam needs to be taught to children from a young age. Why instilling adab is important, the fear of Allah is important. Bc if those things are present there is no way a person abuses another. It's a lack of knowledge of deen is the reason why it happens. People are bought up following their cultures and not Islam. Theres no taqwa of Allah Like for example islam states again and again how much of a blessing a daughter is. That to be upset at the birth of a daughter is an ignorant action and a sinful one. But there are some Muslim families who get upset when a girl is born
@@HassanAli-rb5hq Yes, I agree, in real Islam, everyone is taught. Men and women are both taught to control their lust and respect the opposite gender and all are taught that sexual assault and rape are big sins, even if a women sexually assaults someone it’s still a sin
@@princess_selfimprovement like in the ideal world, islam would be paramount in all Muslims lives but the reality is that it unfortunately isn't. Cultures dominante, and these cultures r deep rooted in misogyny. Some of them worse then others. When islam says certain things, its to protect people. The dress code of both genders, no free mixing, don't spread rumours, the gender roles too and rights within a marriage. If you both know islam and know ur obligations towards that other person, I don't see how abuse can arise. Like if you know arguing, lying, swearing, getting angry are all forbidden or strongly discouraged. Obviously it's more complex than that but Allah created us and he set down rules for us, sometimes we might not like them or understand them yet but if you think about them, it is truly for the better This is a great podcast I think th-cam.com/video/ELwvnd2b-Zs/w-d-xo.html Or it was this one th-cam.com/video/RLMkafu77is/w-d-xo.html
Great video, so happy that you addressed the real problem that exists in Muslim communities and is more prominent problem in Muslim countries like Egypt where both men and women have really messed up notions and behaviours and beliefs especially about foreigners and foreign women. They basically think all non Egyptian women are having sex even though they are not and are virgins and hold similar family values. Disgusting behaviour that has hurt so many people and turned them into monsters of their own making.
Spriritual leaders failing realy is a very big issue across alot of religions. You r right it is the worst and most twisted. Society focuses on controlling women instead helping men change.
In my experience of hanging out with “liberal” Muslim guys and non-Muslim guys from Muslim-majority countries, there is a type of cultural toxic masculinity that often hides behind Islam in an attempt to validate itself. However even non-Muslim people in said cultures adopt these perspectives because it’s not necessarily Islamic; it’s just a manifestation of sexism/patriarchal systems within a certain cultural context that is then passed down. But it’s not unique to one group. It affects everyone globally and manifests itself in different ways depending on the cultural context.
Well the bible contains plenty of misogyny as well. I believe we should start unbrainwashing people from this dogma, it’s only makes life more complicated and goes against scientific evidence. So, sadly cultures kinda were shaped by religious beliefs.
totally! every religion, culture, country, all have a way of validating men’s bad behaviour in a way that makes it seem normal. the fact men dont have these kind of conversations on sexisim is telling of how sexism and toxic masculinity is look at as normal. the classic “boys will be boys”
The problem is that these "manifestations" of sexism and open misogyny thrive in Muslim-majority countries which begs the question what's in islam or muslim culture that makes it that way
@@legendlegend1621 islam is not from God period ! It's from men that's why, this is coming from a man that grew up Muslim but was touched by the grace of God two years ago. Islam is an eretical religion created by unrefined men and probably assisted by demonic spirit. All i Can Say now is Jesus Christ is Lord and savior, and Christianity is the ultimate truth, the Trinity is true, you should take Time in your life to read the bible, the Holly spirit in you will confirm that what you're reading is the absolute truth, you should start with the New testament, and then the old testament
That 90 Day Finance episode where the Muslim guy wants to marry a woman who drinks and dresses in sleeveless clothes, why wouldn’t he find someone with his values? They are going to drive each other crazy. I have a Muslim friend who only calls me to ask me culture questions about his Mexican girlfriend. Things like, “why does she keep drinking?” and “why does her ex husband always show up?” and “I think she is secretly eating pork and has all these male friends”. This girl has no plans to adopt his values in her life, but he won’t look for someone with his values.
Exactly, we should not approach to people with a mindset " they will change they have potential" like WTH the other person doesn't even changed for his or her self why would they will change for You
If you were to die today, are you a 100% sure you will go to heaven? If no, here is what the bible says, (1) Romans 3:23 KJV [23] For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. Q1. Do you know what Sin is? Sin is anything bad that we have done. Q2. Have you sinned before? Yes or No? (2) Revelation 21:8 KJV [8] But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. Because they have sinned, and God does not allow Sin into Heaven, the punishment is burning hell. What is the way to reconcile our peace and relationship with God? Q3. Do you know the Story of Jesus? (3) Romans 5:8 KJV [8] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Jesus = God who lived up in Heaven, but he came down on earth and became a man like us, he lived for 33.5 years without committing any sin. Then there were certain people who were jealous and therefore framed him on phony charges, and crucified him. Then he was buried and resurrected on the third day; Now he lives in HEAVEN. Q4. Do you know why Jesus went through all this bloody mess for us? A4. As mentioned, our sin is the reason why we can’t go to heaven, and the only thing that can wash away our sin is the Blood of Jesus. (4) Romans 5:9 KJV [9] Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. According to the bible, the only way for us to reconcile with God is through Christ Jesus’s blood, and not through any works that we do or merits we accumulate, such as water baptism, attending church, or any good thing that we do. The following verses clearly support this. (5) Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV [8] For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast. (6) 2 Corinthians 7:10 KJV [10] For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. In order to get saved, repentance of one’s sin is needed to get saved, we need to be sorry, and repent, with conviction, that we are a wretched sinner. (7) Romans 10:9 KJV [9] That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. If you truly do believe in everything you have heard in the gospel, ,I strongly suggest you to make a proclamation to GOD! You can say it to God in less than 15 seconds !Repeat after this simple prayer, to make sure you truly get saved. Remember repeating this prayer doesn't save you, it's you telling God you BELIEVE THE GOSPEL. Ok, here is the prayer : ‘Dear GOD, I know I am a sinner, as I repent, I put my faith, that Jesus is GOD, and that he died, buried and resurrected, so that his blood, can wash away my Sins. I put my faith in that alone to save me, not my good works. In Jesus’s holy name, I pray. Amen! ‘Congratulations ! Now you are a child of God. Download /Buy a KJV bible (I highly suggest getting a hard copy bible , as one day, it will be illegal to buy, own or even have an online version of the bible) and search for youtube channels like Truthunedited, REAL Bible Believers , The Bible Project, AoC Network, Robert Clancy, Spencer Smith to help you grow , study dispensationalism to understand the bible (I recommend the dispensationalism video from Genesis to Revelations by Dr. Gene Kim, th-cam.com/video/GI4CteEFxOk/w-d-xo.html) , join a bible believing church. God bless you brother/ sister ☺. See you in heaven one day! Please help share the gospel, feeel free to copy and paste this
This was really well-spoken! However, I'm a bit tired of women (and it's almost always women) having these conversations. If men aren't doing the work, nothing we do will change anything.
@@AC-mp7cx Don't know what your issue is but I've seen you comment everywhere on this video's comments suggesting that men aren't bad and women are worse, you sound like a status quo apologist for the patriarchy. Not sure why you need to one-up men against women for every case or situation that people see. I've seen the other comments that you've left on Tazzy's other videos, and you don't seem to like women having any agency or power. Frightening, honestly. You're definitely part of the problem that Tazzy's talking about. No wonder you feel like you have to step in and negate any comment that speaks for women, because you probably feel called out.
@@saltandpeppers8788 I didnt say that women are worse by nature lol. Islam puts a man at the head of the household, Islam believes in strong masculine, male leaders who protect and provide for their wives. That is a patriarchy. I feel called out in this feminist, man hating, perverse society. Are you muslim
@@AC-mp7cx You do sound like you hate muslim women though I’ve seen your other comments too and the way you commented it, it sounds like you love that muslim men being “superior” or can “abuse” or “overpower” muslim women while in fact Allah said in the Quran that men has the Higher responsibility not a higher status that should not have ever to be misused
Tazzy you have to acknowledge that in the Quran, Surah an-Nisa (chapter 4) verse 34 clearly states that "men are in charge of women" and beating a wife or daughter is permissible if they disobey the orders of the wali (male guardian such as a husband, father, brother or uncle). Mothers are never designated as guardians eventhough they are responsible for caring for the children. Also when if comes to Shariah Law, one male witness is equivalent to two females. Additionally female Muslims can only marry a Muslim man but a Muslim man can marry a Christian or a Jew. I agree that no woman should be subjected to physical and/or psychological abuse but how do you counter the BS that is codified in the Quran? Continue the good work in MAUSA.
A very important topic indeed. Lots of people choose to live in denial. The question about what a woman did to deserve physical abuse shows that we have no problem with the abuse happening. No matter what the cause is, it’s never enough to warrant abuse.
I'm so glad you talked about this topic. Muslim society has a big problem when it comes to toxic men and the kind of things they can get away with. But I think it all starts when they're young. Desi culture is really bad with this because from a young age boys are treated like they're born to a king, they have no responsibilities, they just do whatever the hell they want and the excuse is oh that's how boys are. Basically from a young age they're always served, and this is all culture. It's instilled in their brains that you will be served by women at all stages of your life and you're expected to just sit and enjoy. Obviously a child with such morals won't grow up to be kind and caring towards women but rather look down upon them.I dunno how this idea creeped into Muslim society but it needs to stop! Ppl need to raise better sons now rather than pestering their daughters over every little thing. I feel like desi society borderline worships men which is why they're so arrogant and shitty. When it comes to abuse, it's a cycle, boys that see their fathers abusing their mothers end up doing the same to their wife. Desi religious leaders hardly discuss the problems with men but rather directly and indirectly spread the msg that men need to "control" their women. So when ppl that should be guiding Muslims towards Islam talk such filth what do you expect. I don't think all Muslim men are abusive and crazy however a good chunk of them are because of the reasons I talked about.
@S K I absolutely agree with you, men hardly do any of the "tarbiyat" because they think it's the women's job but guess what it's not!!! Both parents need to be parents not just the mom. Desi men think their job ends just at earning money and that's it. They act like guests in their own homes. But at the same time women need to stop serving their little boys, make them get up get their own food and make them put their own dishes away regardless of what their husband does. When they start doing things in their own homes maybe when they grow up they'll be more involved with their kids and home. I think it's going to take generations for this shit mentality to change but we need to start somewhere.
Your right sister 👏👏 The muslim sheik and muftis only give women advice on how to be a good woman, how to be the ideal musl i m wife, how the serve your man, how to teach your children deen and many more thing. They would talk about women using make up woman wearing tight clothed women working or using perfume outside... woman woman woman. No men? 🤔
If you were to die today, are you a 100% sure you will go to heaven? If no, here is what the bible says, (1) Romans 3:23 KJV [23] For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. Q1. Do you know what Sin is? Sin is anything bad that we have done. Q2. Have you sinned before? Yes or No? (2) Revelation 21:8 KJV [8] But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. Because they have sinned, and God does not allow Sin into Heaven, the punishment is burning hell. What is the way to reconcile our peace and relationship with God? Q3. Do you know the Story of Jesus? (3) Romans 5:8 KJV [8] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Jesus = God who lived up in Heaven, but he came down on earth and became a man like us, he lived for 33.5 years without committing any sin. Then there were certain people who were jealous and therefore framed him on phony charges, and crucified him. Then he was buried and resurrected on the third day; Now he lives in HEAVEN. Q4. Do you know why Jesus went through all this bloody mess for us? A4. As mentioned, our sin is the reason why we can’t go to heaven, and the only thing that can wash away our sin is the Blood of Jesus. (4) Romans 5:9 KJV [9] Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. According to the bible, the only way for us to reconcile with God is through Christ Jesus’s blood, and not through any works that we do or merits we accumulate, such as water baptism, attending church, or any good thing that we do. The following verses clearly support this. (5) Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV [8] For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast. (6) 2 Corinthians 7:10 KJV [10] For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. In order to get saved, repentance of one’s sin is needed to get saved, we need to be sorry, and repent, with conviction, that we are a wretched sinner. (7) Romans 10:9 KJV [9] That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. If you truly do believe in everything you have heard in the gospel, ,I strongly suggest you to make a proclamation to GOD! You can say it to God in less than 15 seconds !Repeat after this simple prayer, to make sure you truly get saved. Remember repeating this prayer doesn't save you, it's you telling God you BELIEVE THE GOSPEL. Ok, here is the prayer : ‘Dear GOD, I know I am a sinner, as I repent, I put my faith, that Jesus is GOD, and that he died, buried and resurrected, so that his blood, can wash away my Sins. I put my faith in that alone to save me, not my good works. In Jesus’s holy name, I pray. Amen! ‘Congratulations ! Now you are a child of God. Download /Buy a KJV bible (I highly suggest getting a hard copy bible , as one day, it will be illegal to buy, own or even have an online version of the bible) and search for youtube channels like Truthunedited, REAL Bible Believers , The Bible Project, AoC Network, Robert Clancy, Spencer Smith to help you grow , study dispensationalism to understand the bible (I recommend the dispensationalism video from Genesis to Revelations by Dr. Gene Kim, th-cam.com/video/GI4CteEFxOk/w-d-xo.html) , join a bible believing church. God bless you brother/ sister ☺. See you in heaven one day! Please help share the gospel, feeel free to copy and paste this
I love the fact that you’re problematic or at least to some people 😂 these types of videos are exactly why I’m subscribed to you, you’re a unique Muslim TH-camr.
I met and married a Nigerian Muslim. He stayed making sure that I was offering my prayers, following the Muslim rules, and going to Jummah. I was very new to Islam until it was overwhelming. I felt a lot of pressure but I continued to try and keep up only to learn soon after that he started cheating on me and married another female being my back and left me. I begged him to come back home but he said that I had to agree to his new terms which were to accept this other marriage. Mind you it was his third marriage in one year. Finally I got over him. But he is a womanizer and marry women to have sex with them religiously. He broke my heart terribly and has me contemplating on continuing on this Muslim path
Sister your Muslim path should only be about your belief in Allah. Your ex was/is a terrible man he will definitely get punished for his actions. You are going through a lot i can understand why u are contemplating about your religious path but please put your trust in Allah who knows this might be your trial? For every pain we go through Allah has promised to compensate with a reward for it.
as a desi and born into a Muslim family I definitely feel there's a lack of accountability on the part of m e n and the society just feeding into the narrative, it usually takes intense incidents for possible allies to even see women's plight and that's terrifying, even on minuscule level or subtle moments there's this feeling of a burden put on women to act and behave a certain way and if you step out of the mould you become troublesome to deal with, it's exhausting and frustrating but I don't see this changing because I haven't seen people around me, my age raising kids better either, I have no idea when the change will come x.x
thank u for this video. I think rather than just muslim men, i think this is the main issue with South Asians and our culture. Regardless of religion/caste/language/ethnic background, misogyny and toxic masculinity is rife. Do we have to watch more women die in the hands of these men for mothers & fathers to finally realise the harm they’re doing their sons? Do we tell our daughters to stand up for themselves, and go against what women were taught to do all their lives? It’s an intricately woven seam of idiocy in our lives that we can get rid off, only if people choose to. We have to stand up for change, and I’ve grown up seeing generations of women in my family being abused, and we’re not even muslim. It’s a sad sight to see.
I kind of disagree. Almost every female tourist I know whose been to Egypt and some even to Lebanon have been horrified by the experience. It's a lot worse than some South Asian countries. It's not a South Asian cultural problem. It's a patriarchal problem.
@@aamnahere6250 Patriarchy is not necessarily a bad thing and its actually ingrained in Islam. Men leading isn't bad, because leaders arent superior in value. In Islam, in various hadiths, men are the *leaders* ie the head of the household.
Patriarchy is there in all cultures. But all cultures are not equally patriarchal. Especially cultures affected by patriarchal religion. th-cam.com/video/iIFi_Rgm-T8/w-d-xo.html
Can you not lump our Sri Lankan Christian and Buddhist men with all of that horseshit. They're pretty awesome. We can dress however we want and marry whomever we want. Just keep your comments to Muslims maybe Indian hindu ones. It's getting tiring hearing about stupid Muslim and hindu girls saying all South Asian men are terrible when their men are the only ones acting like shit.
Uuuurg Why is Tazzy not more popular in terms of subscribership! She is so brilliant and this new format is amazing...tacking tough issues which are not talked about enough! Love her and her content so much. May she continue to flourish Insha'Allah
This is so timely! So many of the Muslim men I know grew up in households where them and their mothers were abused by their fathers. (Don’t have many female Muslim friends so not sure what their experience has been.) Violence was their model for manhood and masculinity. Alhumdullilah many are doing the healing work but others not so much. May all victims and survivors of domestic violence find true safety, healing, justice and peace. 💜
I am an Orthodox Eastern European woman married with a devoted Muslim man who has lived all his life in Northern Africa, in a Muslim country. I've never met a more inclusive and accepting person in my life. My husband has never been aggressive with me, and I tend to be a quite aggressive woman, has never told me what to wear, or who should I talk to. My in laws have accepted me from the beginning. It hurts me to see the way people talk about Islam and Muslims in general, especially about men.
Ur experience has been great, Alhumdolilah and ur man is a good Muslim as well as his family. But it is not the norm. The norm is reflected in generational cultural norms that raised Muslim men which is misogynistic in majority and nothing to do with Islam. However, Muslim men r largely from South Asia and the Middle East which over a long time concentrate negative attributes in Muslim men who r a part of that society.
@Maysoun Beate U dodged a bullet sis 🙌 Alhumdolilah. Narcissism is the furthest thing from Islam. Also, ur right, some Muftis on yt have also pointed out that Muslim men treat non Muslim women with more respect or they only interact with them in public spaces like college and work. I think it's becuz they feel insecure abt their identity as a Muslim when they see Muslim women and thus fear judgement becuz it reminds them of their religion. That as I said makes them insecure and thus avoid them. Which is just stupid.
it is true. My muslim always makes me feel like im worth nothing. every day I feel like trash. My energie is finished and empty. Im never good enough. no matter what
@@nirazarazara7634 Saying this as a Muslim, Islam gave women so many rights. Learn them and if you are not treated in an Islamic way walk away. Do not accept cultural traditions as religion, this is used to keep women from asking for respect which was bestowed upon us by Allah SWT.
I know of people who faced domestic violence. I do get scared of getting married in the future if this can happen. But I know not all men are like this
I'v been watching your content for like a year now and I still can not understand why you havn't become viral or grown a lot yet. Like your content is of high quality and is similar to other big channels, like what is going on with youtube?
I met my Muslim husband when I was a single mother, he was so frightened to tell his family about me. The second year we was together we had our first child together he didn't tell hid father until the day she was born. His did was so happy and he shouted at my husband for not telling him 😂 all my life I've had to struggle, but when my Muslim husband came along he really saved me. He taught me more about Islam and he never wanted me to wear a hijab last year in lockdown I knew it was time for me to wear a hijab and he burst into tears. We also love watching 90 day fiance 😄
“Society hates women”- wow! I agree, that statement really got me thinking. Thank you for all your videos, it’s so insightful, and it raises conversations that need to be talked about.
@@afrozzz5634 mahscimo is basically toxic masculinity still. Machismo is the sense of being "manly" and self-reliant, the concept associated with "a strong sense of masculine pride: an exaggerated masculinity". It is associated with "a man's responsibility to provide for, protect, and defend his family". That’s how these muslim men (thats being talked in this video) think as well.
I’m Mexican too and I’ve known a wide variety of muslim men from different countries, both in the Middle East and North Africa. I tell you: Generalising and entire ethnicity of men based on stereotypes mostly perpetrated by Western channels will keep you ignorant, and indeed it is deceiving and not to mention xenophobic. If I was going to draw a conclusion based on my personal experience dealing with Muslims in general and specifically Muslim men I would tell you that they are amongst the most respectful men I’ve ever met even surpassing Latin Americans in many occasions, however of course I wont deny that toxic masculinity also exists in those groups as well as it also it is present across Latin American countries. I think the point here is that you should not generalise based on stereotypes and instead keep an open mind because you could be missing out in some very interesting cultural exchanges. Xenophobia is never the way to go.
Great video! I feel like the “men are trash” trope is really reductive and prohibitive to real conversations about the problems we all face, as women and men. I cringe a little when I hear it cause it serves no purpose except as a joke, in my opinion
It reminds me of the movie cats vs dogs tehehehe. She might as well call her dad and husband trash and start w them. She must be feminist she surly speaks like one. My opinion I would never marry one they are toxicccc haha
i think its relevant, men are not inherently nice people they have a long history of all kinds of abuse over women, the statement dosnt mean anything its just somthing to say when men are being sexist and refuse to acknowledge it. men hate women . ill say that before men are trash any day
Ah yes, joke about the literal abuse we went through. Joke about the fact that my own father always made me feel like he wished I was not his son and no matter what I did I could never get his approval. Joke about the fact that I have been called a "son of a b**ch" but both of my parents throughout my entire adolescence and have thought of it as a nickname. Joke about the fact that my father lied to me about his his freiond's son got into some elite school so that I would compete with him and when I failed to get in he left a scar on my body. Joke about the fact that my own father tried to suffocate me to death. Yes joke about us being trash because it serves a purpose as a joke for your amusement. 🙄
@@blackraven6049 It terrible that you went through all of that, but being a victim doesn't give you the right to dump your frustrations out on millions of men who had nothing to do with your abuse. There are plenty of men I know who were severely abused by their wives and mothers, and yet you would still get upset if you heard any of them claim that women are trash just because of the experiences they had. Sexism is wrong, period.
Masha'Allah she handled this topic like a pro. May Allah keep Tazi's and all of our intentions pure. May we be the change we want to see in the world and may Allah prevent us from being among the hypocrites and the ignorant. Ameen
Quote of the day: "Everybody is guilty until proven innocent." So true! In my family and our desi family friends circles, this was especially true if you were a female.
Wow the title alone is triggering. Too men never want be told how to improve or hear what is wrong with Muslim men and brown cultures. They will interpret it as disrespect or feminine anger
Their fault fault for interpretation it that way. They're being too sensitive if that's wt they're offended over while she's talking abt literal abuse and rape.
I am sorry for what you have gone through. I just want you to know that there are many muslim men who want to change this highhandedness of men, eventhough in a minority. This is unfortunate of what you have gone through.
There are several points I want to make 1. I kind of disagree with you when you say that there is no direct link between toxic masculinity and violence against women. As you said, toxic masculinity is the harmful masculine traits that man are forced to embody by society (like dominance, aggression etc). It also perpetuates the myth that men are "sex driven, aggressive, physically active, emotionless creatures", which is not true. Therefore, men are told to bottle up their emotions, which leads to EXTREMELY unhealthy and toxic ways of releasing all this pent up stress. Like the WHO pdf, so many external factors affect men (especially men of marginalized societies), and they don't know of a healthier method to express themselves. 2. I completely understand when you say that your community is so wary of external scrutiny that it cannot openly address the problems it faces. This is the similar argument hindu communities make when our messed up stuff is called out (that people who call out the problems in our communities are anti-hindu/anti-nationalist and want to frame us as bad). 3. A question: this is completely unrelated, but what do you think about polygamous relationships? Mostly the ones with a straight man and multiple women (who may or may not be into each other). I'm asking this because many Islamophobic people in India always use this argument against muslim people, and although I have no problem with polygamy (where everyone is in a relationship with each other) I just want to know if you think its ok or not. Anyways, great video!
as a lesbian i always wondered if any lesbians have gone into those relationships for the chance to have some kind of relationship with another woman without outing yourself. because you can walk about like “this is my wife” and have some kind of gay identity if that makes sense? since being gay isnt seen as “normal”
@@MK-gm2mq i have, i was in the er waiting and three women where cuddled up waiting next to us, the gf in the middle was sick or somthing. it was whatever, people kept giving them looks but they diddnt care so good on them.
Soooo refreshing to hear such a neat analysis!! Like I'm so done with blindly opinionated, close mided, self righteous bickering (on all sides). But this was like the opposite. Good job tazzy. Keep it upp
If I had a nickel for every time I got asked out by a muslim guy and then would go on dates only for him to express how promiscuous he's been and how he'd want the same in our relationship even though I expressed that I do not do physical intimacy when dating, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Right?
There’s an interesting book called “No visible bruises” it’s about intimate partner violence/domestic abuse/domestic terrorism. It explored a lot of questions include why? Can violent men stop being violent? And how can we create infrastructure for survivors? The second question is very interesting and related to what you’re saying about toxic masculinity. The thing is toxic masculinity as a phrase is new so it might seem like it exists in a vacuum, however the behaviors that it describes are not new. In answering the question “can men stop perpetuating violence” there is group in California that focuses on dissecting every aspect of the violent situation with their partner. They identify each aspect as manifestations of toxic masculinity. I.e. not calling their partners by their birth name, choking, being dismissive and downplaying the severity of their actions, using the children as leverage, etc. I think toxic masculinity speaks to the patriarchal structure of our society. Violence, power, coercion yields favorable results. And men have historically used those tactics. Even men who would never do that to a women in some way may participate in those behaviors. It’s the society that we live in. So are all men toxic? Of course that’s unfair to say. But do all men feel like women and men should be regarded equally. No. That’s just not true and that is a result of toxic masculinity. This rant kind of took a turn for feminism but toxic masculinity creates a lot of problems that feminism stands against. So my point is we all participate in one way or another because of how our world is structured
The term toxic masculinity is I think, inadequate because it boils it down to an individual problem. The issue is patriarchy which is a system that has a dual function of oppressing both women and men albeit in different ways. Historically and today most Muslim societies have been and are patriarchal and this causes much of the behavior we see in men and causes the oppression of women.
Using the term “Muslim men” automatically assumes that misogyny is related to the religion. It’s so much more a cultural thing that, no matter what the religion, many men cling on to, even if their religion is opposed to it.
No, that would have to be Islamic men. Muslim doesn't signify that a person is speaking from a religious standpoint. People like you say you're not against criticism of male toxicity in patriarchal Muslim cultures but are the first ones to tell women to be quiet because Islamophobes will perceive the misogyny of Muslim men to be inspired by Islam. To be honest, a lot of Muslim men use religion to oppress Muslim women. However, I acknowledge completely that it's not an Islamic problematic. That being said, men need to stop telling women how to phrase their condemnations. It's condescending.
What I've learned is that muslim men is just a shortcut for middle eastern men, as an algerian even tho like 90% of our population is muslim, we (along side other countries from the arabic west, Morocco, Tunis...) aren't put in mind when people address issues within the muslim community. Sorry for bad english and all that
It is very much your religion. If you holy book allow for the dehumanization and beating of women, then yes your religion and the men who follow it are very much the problem. You can accuse culture all you want but you know it's not just your culture that continues to treat women as second class citizen.
@@abir547 It is very much your Islamophobia mister know it all. You cannot speak on a holy book you either haven't read completely with full context nor If you're unable to understand the language. It makes you sound as ridiculous as any non English speaker critiquing Shakespeare. Also Muslim women like myself do not need Islamophobes like you to speak up on our behalf. You only substantiate those who're upholding the patriarchal discrimination by proving that Islamophobes do not care about Muslim women at all except when they can exploit us as props to peddle their bigotry .You don't get to speak on our behalf. Muslim women are strong enough to deal with misogynists in our own community as well as pathetic Islamophobes like yourself who conveniently ignore that all traditional patriarchal societies have had issues pertaining to women's rights not just Muslim ones.
I find it in only about 10% of Europeans or Americans but toxic masculinity is very high like 70-80% in Indian and Pak men. Especially in India where I'm from, such people are everywhere. Even if some are not exactly yet displaying toxic masculinity they have a belief system/culture which can make them so. There is a certain older generation which has it(NOT the very old grandpa ones) and surprisingly a lot of the younger generation has it. Earlier I mentioned "belief system" by which I probably meant like sexist attitudes, conservative views on gender roles, behaviour etc. And these *are not limited to men* but women as well. The society is structured in a way that people grow up with these belief systems. Friends, relatives irrespective of gender influence our behaviors, media, films enforce it and people just carry on with life blindly without stopping to ponder and explore... ps: not at all a religious matter bcoz there are mostly Hindus in India.
i am not of your faith but as i respect it i like to know about it & any questions i ask are to women. for some reason they answer more honestly without any macho shite, BTW i come from a Muslim majority area .
Yep, not really an issue of men from a certain religion, this is a worldwide issue. Women being treated as less than, rather than equals. It is good to push for change. Really enjoy these videos Tazzy, keep it up. Also thought your last sentence was interesting 'Society hates women'... are we talking about men here? even if a woman is unconsciously putting down another woman, why would this happen in the first place? possibly the way we have been influenced by men in the first place. It's a weird cycle. Obviously 'not all men' but we can't deny that this issue is due to a majority of men.
For myself I could see a toxic male from a distance so I would never date or associate with them let alone marry one. Sexual harassment was just a way of life in the work force, women are taught to just deal with it and not complain. So glad things have changed and men are more aware of what harassment means and more is being done to protect women today. So yeah, the stories of Muslim men and the strict religion would have kept me from dating or marrying one.
Yes, not only that a lot of men think they can do whatever they want( i know a lot of Muslim countries are men are on top, no accountability so whatever, even in religious base).
Chivalry forced men to compete for and woo women, whereas in more primitively patriarchal social structures, men are valorized as the superior sex, so therefore they don’t have to put in the effort, and thus become entitled, undeveloped man children I think hypergamy also plays a role as in cultures where women are allowed to be autonomous, they end up selecting more favorable and charming men, which inversely encourages men to work on themselves and internalize the female perspective more in hopes of being chosen. This is precisely why a lot of Muslim men are threatened by Feminism and bury this misogynistic fear under the guise of being Anti-Western
Hi tazzy I love each and every one of your videos from the beginning, however I just wish that in this video which talks about a very sensitive subject, that it'd mention how it is against the Quran and Sunnah to abuse and oppress women just so people are reminded of where we should always come back to as Muslims
It is in the Quran at 4:34 - Sahih International: Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
@@hereweare9096 you don't know the context , you don't know how it is explained, every single ayat had a explanation in the Hadiths. No one can command you and stop you from something which is your right. Like parents are like ohh you have to obey us (written in Quran) soo you would marry whomever we tell you, but young people are given right to choose the spouse(in Islam). we study Quran as a whole not just use and study a single ayat and give judgement. Some people use Quran to justify there wrong doings. Allah will ask them. We can not here in the comment section make others to understand Quran. Everyone has to study and give time to it.
@@emaanemaan5540 I agree, I was told that everyone should derive meaning and interpretation from the Quran and Hadith only with a teacher over them, so that people don't manipulate the Deen to their own convenience
*I Need an Advice:* If a girl worker at my work place talks to me at work whenever she feels like doing so and avoids me whenever she feels like doing so plus if she completely ignores me and avoids me outside of work place after we sign out at the end of our shift then please tell me what exactly she is trying to do and what message is she trying to give me? Should I also start avoiding her?
It could be that she considers you as a colleague or co-worker nothing more. I think you should treat people the way they treat you. I would suggest you ask her if you're close to her just to clear things up.
she is using and manipulating you , just cut her of completely from ur personal life ..in the office if she needs favors from u ,only use a “give and take” policy
I agree with a lot of points in this video, however, I couldn't help but think that some of these things stem directly from desi/other culture and not Islam, it's especially apparent when they contradict Islam.
The biggest problems here are desi men, and I'll maintain that as a British Pakistani woman. I love Pakistan, but as far as treatment of women goes...often these men aren't too far from the bad rep they get.
As a Pakistani man sorry because we’re always responsible for all of the bad things in the world just because we’re A) Pakistani B) man. I guess I’ll just go kill myself
My first husband was from a Valley in Kashmir and I am born in the UK. He told me women were the same as dirt on your shoe. It was a lonely marriage for me and I had the courage to divorce him. Wasted of 10 years of my life caused by forced arranged marriage. Glad you bought this up Taz. I moved to the UAE and here the guys collect women like trophies, At least 50% are married and have side chicks. Double standards prevail, it’s ok for the men to have as many women as they wish, the wives suffer in silence.
@K K Muslim men are most toxic than Sikh men.. it’s in islam to put down women
@K K making up hindu bs
if you want it to change you need reform your religion
@harrisn3693 don't worry. Denial is the first stage
Sorry to hear that and much love to you ❤.Unfortunately a lot of Muslim men don’t actually follow Islam properly themselves.
People on here are saying that their partner is so respectful and accepting. I get it is not all muslim men. But this isnt about you and your partner. This about the culture as a whole. Thank you tazz that you spoke up about this. We need muslim men and women to speak up about it this. It might take hundreds of years to get up to date with the rest of the world.
Yeah you’re right ! But hopefully it won’t take hundreds of years, I doubt it will because many communities our progressing at a rapid pace.
Stockholm syndrome
It certaintly is a cultural thing. But it is often thrown on religion. But some seem to be more liberal with it. Kurds or other groups muslims who have opened to a more open way of life seems to fit in the western world just fine. While conservative Berbers or other North African cultures don't exactly have a good reputation in Western Europe. Of course, this also depends on personal values. But like I said, it is often put on religion. My co-worker is from Somalia, and an open minded muslim. She was shocked how Berber muslims thought it was totally normal to be shitty towards women.
Local Social work has entire branches meant to help muslim women out of abusive relationships. Often these women are from poor Moroccan families in an arranged marriage with a man who is already considered toxic in his own community. No "modern" muslim woman would want him. So an arranged marriage it is.
Honor killing or being disowned by family is also still happening even in Europe. If their son turns out to be gay, or their daughter wants to stop practicing Islam and marry a non muslim.
Tbh a woman talking about this won't do anything, we need men to speak up, but they don't because then the worst thing ever might happen to them, their masculinity might be questioned, the horror!
@@Fuzz82 I was surprised by your comment until I understood you were talking about Morocco, cause in Algeria it's the opposite, Berbers are the most open minded group. I'm generalising of course, people from cities will always be more open minded than people in rural areas, living on the coast is also a big factor. Then there are inexplicable cases, I have a cousin who's an anomaly in our family, his dad, brother, uncles ate super liberal and he's the opposite
Tazzy is the Muslim youtuber we all needed! I'm so proud and happy that you spoke up about this. You're so laid back and manage to convey your point with such articulacy. I'm soo glad to have a female Muslim youtuber I can relate to. Love youuu
its just more western liberal philsophy tbh
@@AC-mp7cx since when basic human rights are limited to westerns?
@@user-gm3lg8gp3m That's what I'm wondering. why do we always use liberal talking points
TRUE Muslims are awesome people, but I live in a Muslim country and the sheer amount of open hypocrisy by (mostly) men is unreal and, honestly, creates an extremely unsafe and paranoid environment for women, at least in my city. If they actually followed Islam, respected one another, and feared Allah, it would be completely different. I could write a book on the things I've seen, I swear.
What country do you live in? Just to understand the context.
@@MetaMess.X I would rather not say....but that should also help you narrow it down 😅
Well said. ❤️
Probably Dagestan
@@mimim-va5099 that's what I guessed it too.
‘’Our obsession with not trying to offend people, our difficulty in navigating these conversations because we have other people watching us and using those things against us prohibits us from being honest and tackling these issues. Because the truth of the matter is, these are real issues’’ THIS. is so important Tasneem. Thank you so much for the amazing content lately this is exactly what the community needs whether some like it or not. The truth is bitter sometimes but this is needed to reach awareness and change. May Allah bless you.
YES. This was my favourite thing she said. It's so true
If you were to die today, are you a 100% sure you will go to heaven?
If no, here is what the bible says,
(1) Romans 3:23 KJV [23] For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
Q1. Do you know what Sin is?
Sin is anything bad that we have done.
Q2. Have you sinned before?
Yes or No?
(2) Revelation 21:8 KJV [8] But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Because they have sinned, and God does not allow Sin into Heaven, the punishment is burning hell.
What is the way to reconcile our peace and relationship with God?
Q3. Do you know the Story of Jesus?
(3) Romans 5:8 KJV [8] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Jesus = God who lived up in Heaven, but he came down on earth and became a man like us, he lived for 33.5 years without committing any sin. Then there were certain people who were jealous and therefore framed him on phony charges, and crucified him. Then he was buried and resurrected on the third day; Now he lives in HEAVEN.
Q4. Do you know why Jesus went through all this bloody mess for us?
A4. As mentioned, our sin is the reason why we can’t go to heaven, and the only thing that can wash away our sin is the Blood of Jesus.
(4) Romans 5:9 KJV [9] Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
According to the bible, the only way for us to reconcile with God is through Christ Jesus’s blood, and not through any works that we do or merits we accumulate, such as water baptism, attending church, or any good thing that we do. The following verses clearly support this.
(5) Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV [8] For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
(6) 2 Corinthians 7:10 KJV [10] For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
In order to get saved, repentance of one’s sin is needed to get saved, we need to be sorry, and repent, with conviction, that we are a wretched sinner.
(7) Romans 10:9 KJV [9] That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
If you truly do believe in everything you have heard in the gospel, ,I strongly suggest you to make a proclamation to GOD! You can say it to God in less than 15 seconds !Repeat after this simple prayer, to make sure you truly get saved. Remember repeating this prayer doesn't save you, it's you telling God you BELIEVE THE GOSPEL. Ok, here is the prayer :
‘Dear GOD,
I know I am a sinner, as I repent, I put my faith, that Jesus is GOD, and that he died, buried and resurrected, so that his blood, can wash away my Sins. I put my faith in that alone to save me, not my good works. In Jesus’s holy name, I pray. Amen!
‘Congratulations ! Now you are a child of God. Download /Buy a KJV bible (I highly suggest getting a hard copy bible , as one day, it will be illegal to buy, own or even have an online version of the bible) and search for youtube channels like Truthunedited, REAL Bible Believers , The Bible Project, AoC Network, Robert Clancy, Spencer Smith to help you grow , study dispensationalism to understand the bible (I recommend the dispensationalism video from Genesis to Revelations by Dr. Gene Kim, th-cam.com/video/GI4CteEFxOk/w-d-xo.html) , join a bible believing church. God bless you brother/ sister ☺. See you in heaven one day!
Please help share the gospel, feeel free to copy and paste this
One thing I really don't appreciate-Quran does have regulations for men and women both but why men act like they are responsible to make sure that women strictly follow it? Many men are not so religious in my country but it's important that they mandate their wives in terms of religion. This is so hypocrite while women here don't really bother to do the same with men, it always comes down to "men will be men" and even they do try to instruct men they will literally start barking at those women I have seen it many times.
This is true sister, as a man I will not do this
@@eatinsomtin9984masha Allah , Allahumma barik glad to know that you are different my brother.
i aint a muslim and i noticed that too, always confused me beyond belief at how entitled men can be and over a religion that they themsleves are meant to follow….like??? they act like they are some kind of god themselves
physical power, that's it
They use religion to control. That's all. It's an excuse
I think what scares me the most is that how people in these communities and individuals have this thinking process that people especially women wearing certain clothes is bad or sinful but then when it comes to the abuse, control, and blatant misogyny, nothing’s said at all and half the people don’t even think it’s bad or sinful or anything.
This is why islam needs to be taught to children from a young age. Why instilling adab is important, the fear of Allah is important. Bc if those things are present there is no way a person abuses another.
It's a lack of knowledge of deen is the reason why it happens. People are bought up following their cultures and not Islam. Theres no taqwa of Allah
Like for example islam states again and again how much of a blessing a daughter is. That to be upset at the birth of a daughter is an ignorant action and a sinful one. But there are some Muslim families who get upset when a girl is born
@@HassanAli-rb5hq Yes, I agree, in real Islam, everyone is taught. Men and women are both taught to control their lust and respect the opposite gender and all are taught that sexual assault and rape are big sins, even if a women sexually assaults someone it’s still a sin
@@princess_selfimprovement like in the ideal world, islam would be paramount in all Muslims lives but the reality is that it unfortunately isn't. Cultures dominante, and these cultures r deep rooted in misogyny. Some of them worse then others.
When islam says certain things, its to protect people. The dress code of both genders, no free mixing, don't spread rumours, the gender roles too and rights within a marriage. If you both know islam and know ur obligations towards that other person, I don't see how abuse can arise. Like if you know arguing, lying, swearing, getting angry are all forbidden or strongly discouraged. Obviously it's more complex than that but Allah created us and he set down rules for us, sometimes we might not like them or understand them yet but if you think about them, it is truly for the better
This is a great podcast I think
th-cam.com/video/ELwvnd2b-Zs/w-d-xo.html
Or it was this one
th-cam.com/video/RLMkafu77is/w-d-xo.html
@@HassanAli-rb5hq Many people just use religion for power if they were really trying to follow Islam there wouldn’t be problems.
@@princess_selfimprovement Mohammed did the same *
Great video, so happy that you addressed the real problem that exists in Muslim communities and is more prominent problem in Muslim countries like Egypt where both men and women have really messed up notions and behaviours and beliefs especially about foreigners and foreign women. They basically think all non Egyptian women are having sex even though they are not and are virgins and hold similar family values. Disgusting behaviour that has hurt so many people and turned them into monsters of their own making.
90% of Egyptian w were said to be "circumcised", is that still true?
Spriritual leaders failing realy is a very big issue across alot of religions. You r right it is the worst and most twisted. Society focuses on controlling women instead helping men change.
In my experience of hanging out with “liberal” Muslim guys and non-Muslim guys from Muslim-majority countries, there is a type of cultural toxic masculinity that often hides behind Islam in an attempt to validate itself. However even non-Muslim people in said cultures adopt these perspectives because it’s not necessarily Islamic; it’s just a manifestation of sexism/patriarchal systems within a certain cultural context that is then passed down. But it’s not unique to one group. It affects everyone globally and manifests itself in different ways depending on the cultural context.
Exactly it depends on many things like where you grow up, where you’re born, your family, your community, etc.
Well the bible contains plenty of misogyny as well. I believe we should start unbrainwashing people from this dogma, it’s only makes life more complicated and goes against scientific evidence.
So, sadly cultures kinda were shaped by religious beliefs.
totally! every religion, culture, country, all have a way of validating men’s bad behaviour in a way that makes it seem normal. the fact men dont have these kind of conversations on sexisim is telling of how sexism and toxic masculinity is look at as normal. the classic “boys will be boys”
The problem is that these "manifestations" of sexism and open misogyny thrive in Muslim-majority countries which begs the question what's in islam or muslim culture that makes it that way
@@legendlegend1621 islam is not from God period ! It's from men that's why, this is coming from a man that grew up Muslim but was touched by the grace of God two years ago. Islam is an eretical religion created by unrefined men and probably assisted by demonic spirit. All i Can Say now is Jesus Christ is Lord and savior, and Christianity is the ultimate truth, the Trinity is true, you should take Time in your life to read the bible, the Holly spirit in you will confirm that what you're reading is the absolute truth, you should start with the New testament, and then the old testament
That 90 Day Finance episode where the Muslim guy wants to marry a woman who drinks and dresses in sleeveless clothes, why wouldn’t he find someone with his values? They are going to drive each other crazy. I have a Muslim friend who only calls me to ask me culture questions about his Mexican girlfriend. Things like, “why does she keep drinking?” and “why does her ex husband always show up?” and “I think she is secretly eating pork and has all these male friends”. This girl has no plans to adopt his values in her life, but he won’t look for someone with his values.
Are you talking about the Jordanian guy? Ironically he was also very non practicing, but he put on an act in front of his parents and the audience.
Exactly, I don’t know why people feel the need to change people
Exactly, we should not approach to people with a mindset " they will change they have potential" like WTH the other person doesn't even changed for his or her self why would they will change for You
If you were to die today, are you a 100% sure you will go to heaven?
If no, here is what the bible says,
(1) Romans 3:23 KJV [23] For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
Q1. Do you know what Sin is?
Sin is anything bad that we have done.
Q2. Have you sinned before?
Yes or No?
(2) Revelation 21:8 KJV [8] But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Because they have sinned, and God does not allow Sin into Heaven, the punishment is burning hell.
What is the way to reconcile our peace and relationship with God?
Q3. Do you know the Story of Jesus?
(3) Romans 5:8 KJV [8] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Jesus = God who lived up in Heaven, but he came down on earth and became a man like us, he lived for 33.5 years without committing any sin. Then there were certain people who were jealous and therefore framed him on phony charges, and crucified him. Then he was buried and resurrected on the third day; Now he lives in HEAVEN.
Q4. Do you know why Jesus went through all this bloody mess for us?
A4. As mentioned, our sin is the reason why we can’t go to heaven, and the only thing that can wash away our sin is the Blood of Jesus.
(4) Romans 5:9 KJV [9] Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
According to the bible, the only way for us to reconcile with God is through Christ Jesus’s blood, and not through any works that we do or merits we accumulate, such as water baptism, attending church, or any good thing that we do. The following verses clearly support this.
(5) Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV [8] For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
(6) 2 Corinthians 7:10 KJV [10] For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
In order to get saved, repentance of one’s sin is needed to get saved, we need to be sorry, and repent, with conviction, that we are a wretched sinner.
(7) Romans 10:9 KJV [9] That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
If you truly do believe in everything you have heard in the gospel, ,I strongly suggest you to make a proclamation to GOD! You can say it to God in less than 15 seconds !Repeat after this simple prayer, to make sure you truly get saved. Remember repeating this prayer doesn't save you, it's you telling God you BELIEVE THE GOSPEL. Ok, here is the prayer :
‘Dear GOD,
I know I am a sinner, as I repent, I put my faith, that Jesus is GOD, and that he died, buried and resurrected, so that his blood, can wash away my Sins. I put my faith in that alone to save me, not my good works. In Jesus’s holy name, I pray. Amen!
‘Congratulations ! Now you are a child of God. Download /Buy a KJV bible (I highly suggest getting a hard copy bible , as one day, it will be illegal to buy, own or even have an online version of the bible) and search for youtube channels like Truthunedited, REAL Bible Believers , The Bible Project, AoC Network, Robert Clancy, Spencer Smith to help you grow , study dispensationalism to understand the bible (I recommend the dispensationalism video from Genesis to Revelations by Dr. Gene Kim, th-cam.com/video/GI4CteEFxOk/w-d-xo.html) , join a bible believing church. God bless you brother/ sister ☺. See you in heaven one day!
Please help share the gospel, feeel free to copy and paste this
There's nothing wrong with eating pork. It's just food
This was really well-spoken! However, I'm a bit tired of women (and it's almost always women) having these conversations. If men aren't doing the work, nothing we do will change anything.
Men are busy being demonised and being told that feminism is the answer
I've been a woman in conversational spaces. This is my first time hearing this being discussed.
@@AC-mp7cx Don't know what your issue is but I've seen you comment everywhere on this video's comments suggesting that men aren't bad and women are worse, you sound like a status quo apologist for the patriarchy. Not sure why you need to one-up men against women for every case or situation that people see. I've seen the other comments that you've left on Tazzy's other videos, and you don't seem to like women having any agency or power. Frightening, honestly. You're definitely part of the problem that Tazzy's talking about. No wonder you feel like you have to step in and negate any comment that speaks for women, because you probably feel called out.
@@saltandpeppers8788 I didnt say that women are worse by nature lol. Islam puts a man at the head of the household, Islam believes in strong masculine, male leaders who protect and provide for their wives. That is a patriarchy. I feel called out in this feminist, man hating, perverse society. Are you muslim
@@AC-mp7cx You do sound like you hate muslim women though I’ve seen your other comments too and the way you commented it, it sounds like you love that muslim men being “superior” or can “abuse” or “overpower” muslim women while in fact Allah said in the Quran that men has the Higher responsibility not a higher status that should not have ever to be misused
Tazzy you have to acknowledge that in the Quran, Surah an-Nisa (chapter 4) verse 34 clearly states that "men are in charge of women" and beating a wife or daughter is permissible if they disobey the orders of the wali (male guardian such as a husband, father, brother or uncle). Mothers are never designated as guardians eventhough they are responsible for caring for the children. Also when if comes to Shariah Law, one male witness is equivalent to two females. Additionally female Muslims can only marry a Muslim man but a Muslim man can marry a Christian or a Jew. I agree that no woman should be subjected to physical and/or psychological abuse but how do you counter the BS that is codified in the Quran? Continue the good work in MAUSA.
This title defo gonna trigger some men I can already tell Oop - here for it tho hahah
A very important topic indeed. Lots of people choose to live in denial. The question about what a woman did to deserve physical abuse shows that we have no problem with the abuse happening. No matter what the cause is, it’s never enough to warrant abuse.
agree! men have been taking advantage of women since the beginning of time, women are not the problem here.
I'm so glad you talked about this topic. Muslim society has a big problem when it comes to toxic men and the kind of things they can get away with. But I think it all starts when they're young. Desi culture is really bad with this because from a young age boys are treated like they're born to a king, they have no responsibilities, they just do whatever the hell they want and the excuse is oh that's how boys are. Basically from a young age they're always served, and this is all culture. It's instilled in their brains that you will be served by women at all stages of your life and you're expected to just sit and enjoy. Obviously a child with such morals won't grow up to be kind and caring towards women but rather look down upon them.I dunno how this idea creeped into Muslim society but it needs to stop! Ppl need to raise better sons now rather than pestering their daughters over every little thing. I feel like desi society borderline worships men which is why they're so arrogant and shitty. When it comes to abuse, it's a cycle, boys that see their fathers abusing their mothers end up doing the same to their wife. Desi religious leaders hardly discuss the problems with men but rather directly and indirectly spread the msg that men need to "control" their women. So when ppl that should be guiding Muslims towards Islam talk such filth what do you expect. I don't think all Muslim men are abusive and crazy however a good chunk of them are because of the reasons I talked about.
@S K I absolutely agree with you, men hardly do any of the "tarbiyat" because they think it's the women's job but guess what it's not!!! Both parents need to be parents not just the mom. Desi men think their job ends just at earning money and that's it. They act like guests in their own homes. But at the same time women need to stop serving their little boys, make them get up get their own food and make them put their own dishes away regardless of what their husband does. When they start doing things in their own homes maybe when they grow up they'll be more involved with their kids and home. I think it's going to take generations for this shit mentality to change but we need to start somewhere.
@@66mskhan40 lots of waffle right there
Your right sister 👏👏 The muslim sheik and muftis only give women advice on how to be a good woman, how to be the ideal musl i m wife, how the serve your man, how to teach your children deen and many more thing. They would talk about women using make up woman wearing tight clothed women working or using perfume outside... woman woman woman. No men? 🤔
@@shakeelurrahman5057 lots of facts here 👊🏼🤨
If you were to die today, are you a 100% sure you will go to heaven?
If no, here is what the bible says,
(1) Romans 3:23 KJV [23] For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
Q1. Do you know what Sin is?
Sin is anything bad that we have done.
Q2. Have you sinned before?
Yes or No?
(2) Revelation 21:8 KJV [8] But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Because they have sinned, and God does not allow Sin into Heaven, the punishment is burning hell.
What is the way to reconcile our peace and relationship with God?
Q3. Do you know the Story of Jesus?
(3) Romans 5:8 KJV [8] But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Jesus = God who lived up in Heaven, but he came down on earth and became a man like us, he lived for 33.5 years without committing any sin. Then there were certain people who were jealous and therefore framed him on phony charges, and crucified him. Then he was buried and resurrected on the third day; Now he lives in HEAVEN.
Q4. Do you know why Jesus went through all this bloody mess for us?
A4. As mentioned, our sin is the reason why we can’t go to heaven, and the only thing that can wash away our sin is the Blood of Jesus.
(4) Romans 5:9 KJV [9] Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
According to the bible, the only way for us to reconcile with God is through Christ Jesus’s blood, and not through any works that we do or merits we accumulate, such as water baptism, attending church, or any good thing that we do. The following verses clearly support this.
(5) Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV [8] For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
(6) 2 Corinthians 7:10 KJV [10] For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
In order to get saved, repentance of one’s sin is needed to get saved, we need to be sorry, and repent, with conviction, that we are a wretched sinner.
(7) Romans 10:9 KJV [9] That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
If you truly do believe in everything you have heard in the gospel, ,I strongly suggest you to make a proclamation to GOD! You can say it to God in less than 15 seconds !Repeat after this simple prayer, to make sure you truly get saved. Remember repeating this prayer doesn't save you, it's you telling God you BELIEVE THE GOSPEL. Ok, here is the prayer :
‘Dear GOD,
I know I am a sinner, as I repent, I put my faith, that Jesus is GOD, and that he died, buried and resurrected, so that his blood, can wash away my Sins. I put my faith in that alone to save me, not my good works. In Jesus’s holy name, I pray. Amen!
‘Congratulations ! Now you are a child of God. Download /Buy a KJV bible (I highly suggest getting a hard copy bible , as one day, it will be illegal to buy, own or even have an online version of the bible) and search for youtube channels like Truthunedited, REAL Bible Believers , The Bible Project, AoC Network, Robert Clancy, Spencer Smith to help you grow , study dispensationalism to understand the bible (I recommend the dispensationalism video from Genesis to Revelations by Dr. Gene Kim, th-cam.com/video/GI4CteEFxOk/w-d-xo.html) , join a bible believing church. God bless you brother/ sister ☺. See you in heaven one day!
Please help share the gospel, feeel free to copy and paste this
I love the fact that you’re problematic or at least to some people 😂 these types of videos are exactly why I’m subscribed to you, you’re a unique Muslim TH-camr.
I met and married a Nigerian Muslim. He stayed making sure that I was offering my prayers, following the Muslim rules, and going to Jummah. I was very new to Islam until it was overwhelming. I felt a lot of pressure but I continued to try and keep up only to learn soon after that he started cheating on me and married another female being my back and left me. I begged him to come back home but he said that I had to agree to his new terms which were to accept this other marriage. Mind you it was his third marriage in one year. Finally I got over him. But he is a womanizer and marry women to have sex with them religiously. He broke my heart terribly and has me contemplating on continuing on this Muslim path
Have you ever read the bible ?
Sister your Muslim path should only be about your belief in Allah.
Your ex was/is a terrible man he will definitely get punished for his actions. You are going through a lot i can understand why u are contemplating about your religious path but please put your trust in Allah who knows this might be your trial? For every pain we go through Allah has promised to compensate with a reward for it.
al salaam alaikum, please stay close to quran. yes some people have no fear of Allah.
Leave that cult and chase your own happiness
just marry a new muslim nigerian man
as a desi and born into a Muslim family I definitely feel there's a lack of accountability on the part of m e n and the society just feeding into the narrative, it usually takes intense incidents for possible allies to even see women's plight and that's terrifying, even on minuscule level or subtle moments there's this feeling of a burden put on women to act and behave a certain way and if you step out of the mould you become troublesome to deal with, it's exhausting and frustrating but I don't see this changing because I haven't seen people around me, my age raising kids better either, I have no idea when the change will come x.x
Proof or you just a blatant feminist who worship white Christian’s.
thank u for this video. I think rather than just muslim men, i think this is the main issue with South Asians and our culture. Regardless of religion/caste/language/ethnic background, misogyny and toxic masculinity is rife. Do we have to watch more women die in the hands of these men for mothers & fathers to finally realise the harm they’re doing their sons? Do we tell our daughters to stand up for themselves, and go against what women were taught to do all their lives? It’s an intricately woven seam of idiocy in our lives that we can get rid off, only if people choose to. We have to stand up for change, and I’ve grown up seeing generations of women in my family being abused, and we’re not even muslim. It’s a sad sight to see.
I kind of disagree. Almost every female tourist I know whose been to Egypt and some even to Lebanon have been horrified by the experience. It's a lot worse than some South Asian countries. It's not a South Asian cultural problem. It's a patriarchal problem.
@@aamnahere6250 Patriarchy is not necessarily a bad thing and its actually ingrained in Islam. Men leading isn't bad, because leaders arent superior in value. In Islam, in various hadiths, men are the *leaders* ie the head of the household.
@@AC-mp7cx have you ever been to Egypt? Have you seen the amount of horndogs there.
Patriarchy is there in all cultures. But all cultures are not equally patriarchal. Especially cultures affected by patriarchal religion.
th-cam.com/video/iIFi_Rgm-T8/w-d-xo.html
Can you not lump our Sri Lankan Christian and Buddhist men with all of that horseshit. They're pretty awesome. We can dress however we want and marry whomever we want. Just keep your comments to Muslims maybe Indian hindu ones. It's getting tiring hearing about stupid Muslim and hindu girls saying all South Asian men are terrible when their men are the only ones acting like shit.
Great content sister.
The best among you is he who treats his family the best ( a paraphrase of the Prophet pbuh)
@S K I can appreciate that, but in the essentials, it’s sahih
Uuuurg Why is Tazzy not more popular in terms of subscribership! She is so brilliant and this new format is amazing...tacking tough issues which are not talked about enough! Love her and her content so much. May she continue to flourish Insha'Allah
This is so timely! So many of the Muslim men I know grew up in households where them and their mothers were abused by their fathers. (Don’t have many female Muslim friends so not sure what their experience has been.) Violence was their model for manhood and masculinity. Alhumdullilah many are doing the healing work but others not so much. May all victims and survivors of domestic violence find true safety, healing, justice and peace. 💜
I've seen actually more, Muslim father being emotionally abused by their wives
@@AC-mp7cx Yes that is definitely an issue too! Domestic violence as a whole needs to be addressed from whichever angle or gender it is perpetrated
@@bootsmade4walking especially within religion too, men love to manipulate religion to gain power especially over women
@@AC-mp7cxchild just stop. you in every comment blaming women for all societal ills.
noo@@shairafaiza7261
“Does consuming equal promoting?” I ask myself that all the time.
I am an Orthodox Eastern European woman married with a devoted Muslim man who has lived all his life in Northern Africa, in a Muslim country. I've never met a more inclusive and accepting person in my life. My husband has never been aggressive with me, and I tend to be a quite aggressive woman, has never told me what to wear, or who should I talk to. My in laws have accepted me from the beginning.
It hurts me to see the way people talk about Islam and Muslims in general, especially about men.
Ur experience has been great, Alhumdolilah and ur man is a good Muslim as well as his family.
But it is not the norm. The norm is reflected in generational cultural norms that raised Muslim men which is misogynistic in majority and nothing to do with Islam. However, Muslim men r largely from South Asia and the Middle East which over a long time concentrate negative attributes in Muslim men who r a part of that society.
Oh I am glad for you
@Maysoun Beate lol
@Maysoun Beate U dodged a bullet sis 🙌 Alhumdolilah. Narcissism is the furthest thing from Islam.
Also, ur right, some Muftis on yt have also pointed out that Muslim men treat non Muslim women with more respect or they only interact with them in public spaces like college and work. I think it's becuz they feel insecure abt their identity as a Muslim when they see Muslim women and thus fear judgement becuz it reminds them of their religion. That as I said makes them insecure and thus avoid them. Which is just stupid.
True. Alhamdollillah.
The amal center for women in montreal does great work on the subject of domestic violence! A small women-run center!
it is true. My muslim always makes me feel like im worth nothing. every day I feel like trash. My energie is finished and empty. Im never good enough. no matter what
Get out, leave. This is not Islam, anyone practising islam knows how to treat women respectfully
@@SA-wo9lv I can't speak on your religion. But there definitely a cultures that sees woman less then man.
@@nirazarazara7634 Saying this as a Muslim, Islam gave women so many rights. Learn them and if you are not treated in an Islamic way walk away. Do not accept cultural traditions as religion, this is used to keep women from asking for respect which was bestowed upon us by Allah SWT.
@@SA-wo9lv oh really? Forcing to put that sh*t on your head isn't respect mate, it's oppression
I know of people who faced domestic violence.
I do get scared of getting married in the future if this can happen. But I know not all men are like this
I'v been watching your content for like a year now and I still can not understand why you havn't become viral or grown a lot yet. Like your content is of high quality and is similar to other big channels, like what is going on with youtube?
I met my Muslim husband when I was a single mother, he was so frightened to tell his family about me. The second year we was together we had our first child together he didn't tell hid father until the day she was born. His did was so happy and he shouted at my husband for not telling him 😂 all my life I've had to struggle, but when my Muslim husband came along he really saved me. He taught me more about Islam and he never wanted me to wear a hijab last year in lockdown I knew it was time for me to wear a hijab and he burst into tears. We also love watching 90 day fiance 😄
Omg mashallah yall are so cute😭🤍
You guys sound amazing. Wishing you all the best with your beautiful family.
lfmo
Well that’s new. I’ve almost never heard of a Muslim man who will marry a single mom. I’m happy it worked out for you.
I 'liked' this video even before i watched it because I knew it was truth we all needed to hear.
I think that toxic masculinity affects not only women. It really affect men themselves.
Ooop that part 👆🏾
“Society hates women”- wow! I agree, that statement really got me thinking. Thank you for all your videos, it’s so insightful, and it raises conversations that need to be talked about.
not society but men. ‘all men hate women’
societyalsoHATESdivorcedMUSLIMwomen,theyHATESINGLEMOTHERSANDTHOSEWHOAREABLETOHOLDTHEIROWN,SOOOOMUCHHATEONWOMENWHOAREABLETOBEBADONTHEYOWN,
I had my female cousin tell me to listen and obey my partner so he doesnt hit me.
Surah 4 34.
😂😂😂😂
I'm Mexican and my mom used to tell me never to marry/date a muslim or arab man because she said they are all sexist :/
That’s kinda hilarious because Mexican culture has machismo. No offence though 😊
@@afrozzz5634 mahscimo is basically toxic masculinity still.
Machismo is the sense of being "manly" and self-reliant, the concept associated with "a strong sense of masculine pride: an exaggerated masculinity". It is associated with "a man's responsibility to provide for, protect, and defend his family".
That’s how these muslim men (thats being talked in this video) think as well.
@@afrozzz5634 Disguised Islamophobia
@@saltandpeppers8788 I know right.
I’m Mexican too and I’ve known a wide variety of muslim men from different countries, both in the Middle East and North Africa. I tell you: Generalising and entire ethnicity of men based on stereotypes mostly perpetrated by Western channels will keep you ignorant, and indeed it is deceiving and not to mention xenophobic. If I was going to draw a conclusion based on my personal experience dealing with Muslims in general and specifically Muslim men I would tell you that they are amongst the most respectful men I’ve ever met even surpassing Latin Americans in many occasions, however of course I wont deny that toxic masculinity also exists in those groups as well as it also it is present across Latin American countries. I think the point here is that you should not generalise based on stereotypes and instead keep an open mind because you could be missing out in some very interesting cultural exchanges. Xenophobia is never the way to go.
Great video! I feel like the “men are trash” trope is really reductive and prohibitive to real conversations about the problems we all face, as women and men. I cringe a little when I hear it cause it serves no purpose except as a joke, in my opinion
Even as a joke, it reveals the character of people who say it.
It reminds me of the movie cats vs dogs tehehehe. She might as well call her dad and husband trash and start w them. She must be feminist she surly speaks like one. My opinion I would never marry one they are toxicccc haha
i think its relevant, men are not inherently nice people they have a long history of all kinds of abuse over women, the statement dosnt mean anything its just somthing to say when men are being sexist and refuse to acknowledge it.
men hate women . ill say that before men are trash any day
Ah yes, joke about the literal abuse we went through. Joke about the fact that my own father always made me feel like he wished I was not his son and no matter what I did I could never get his approval. Joke about the fact that I have been called a "son of a b**ch" but both of my parents throughout my entire adolescence and have thought of it as a nickname. Joke about the fact that my father lied to me about his his freiond's son got into some elite school so that I would compete with him and when I failed to get in he left a scar on my body. Joke about the fact that my own father tried to suffocate me to death.
Yes joke about us being trash because it serves a purpose as a joke for your amusement. 🙄
@@blackraven6049 It terrible that you went through all of that, but being a victim doesn't give you the right to dump your frustrations out on millions of men who had nothing to do with your abuse. There are plenty of men I know who were severely abused by their wives and mothers, and yet you would still get upset if you heard any of them claim that women are trash just because of the experiences they had. Sexism is wrong, period.
Masha'Allah she handled this topic like a pro. May Allah keep Tazi's and all of our intentions pure. May we be the change we want to see in the world and may Allah prevent us from being among the hypocrites and the ignorant. Ameen
Ameen
Ameen!
Culture to culture, men being “trash” can look very different. Always love your videos
Quote of the day: "Everybody is guilty until proven innocent." So true! In my family and our desi family friends circles, this was especially true if you were a female.
beautiful, Thank you for taking a stand
That's Pakistani culture. Not all Muslims
Middle eastern have same misogynistic culture towards women
Spill sis! On institutions: we need to build our own to help work toward our causes.
Ma'am, how dare you insult trash?😠
Ngl 90 day fiance is trash but entertaining 🤣
Wow the title alone is triggering. Too men never want be told how to improve or hear what is wrong with Muslim men and brown cultures. They will interpret it as disrespect or feminine anger
Their fault fault for interpretation it that way. They're being too sensitive if that's wt they're offended over while she's talking abt literal abuse and rape.
Girl! You are strong to say this alI! i love you.
A hard topic nicely discussed. Appreciate your efforts. Keep doing!
I have experienced verbal assaults and spiritual abuse
I am sorry for what you have gone through. I just want you to know that there are many muslim men who want to change this highhandedness of men, eventhough in a minority. This is unfortunate of what you have gone through.
There are several points I want to make
1. I kind of disagree with you when you say that there is no direct link between toxic masculinity and violence against women. As you said, toxic masculinity is the harmful masculine traits that man are forced to embody by society (like dominance, aggression etc). It also perpetuates the myth that men are "sex driven, aggressive, physically active, emotionless creatures", which is not true. Therefore, men are told to bottle up their emotions, which leads to EXTREMELY unhealthy and toxic ways of releasing all this pent up stress. Like the WHO pdf, so many external factors affect men (especially men of marginalized societies), and they don't know of a healthier method to express themselves.
2. I completely understand when you say that your community is so wary of external scrutiny that it cannot openly address the problems it faces. This is the similar argument hindu communities make when our messed up stuff is called out (that people who call out the problems in our communities are anti-hindu/anti-nationalist and want to frame us as bad).
3. A question: this is completely unrelated, but what do you think about polygamous relationships? Mostly the ones with a straight man and multiple women (who may or may not be into each other). I'm asking this because many Islamophobic people in India always use this argument against muslim people, and although I have no problem with polygamy (where everyone is in a relationship with each other) I just want to know if you think its ok or not.
Anyways, great video!
The Quran is explicitly clear that men can marry multiple women in theory, in practice, it would happen rarely. But yes, its permissible.
Honestly I have never seen a real case of polygamy my entire life
as a lesbian i always wondered if any lesbians have gone into those relationships for the chance to have some kind of relationship with another woman without outing yourself. because you can walk about like “this is my wife” and have some kind of gay identity if that makes sense? since being gay isnt seen as “normal”
@@MK-gm2mq i have, i was in the er waiting and three women where cuddled up waiting next to us, the gf in the middle was sick or somthing. it was whatever, people kept giving them looks but they diddnt care so good on them.
I think this was a really good discussion. You brought forward many important points. Thank you for that.
If a non Muslim say what you saying y'all call him Islamophobe
Yeah you clearly are one, move on 😗
This video is very much needed. Jazak'Allah for sharing sis.
You won yourself a subscriber. I would like to add that the Ideal man is Prophet Mohammad and he treated women with so much patience and appreciation.
Awesome video 💖 Side note: Your make up looks so pretty. So dewy and glowy ✨
Just recently subbed. Your videos are so related omg, would love to see more on your experiences with your desi family and your struggles with it.
I love you Tazzy!
Soooo refreshing to hear such a neat analysis!! Like I'm so done with blindly opinionated, close mided, self righteous bickering (on all sides). But this was like the opposite. Good job tazzy. Keep it upp
This was a very well made video!! JAZAK
Thank you!
“I guess that makes me problematic thank y for watching” lmaoooo I love you tazzy 😂
I love this :) want more.
Yes, of course they are. The women too!
If I had a nickel for every time I got asked out by a muslim guy and then would go on dates only for him to express how promiscuous he's been and how he'd want the same in our relationship even though I expressed that I do not do physical intimacy when dating, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Right?
There’s an interesting book called “No visible bruises” it’s about intimate partner violence/domestic abuse/domestic terrorism. It explored a lot of questions include why? Can violent men stop being violent? And how can we create infrastructure for survivors? The second question is very interesting and related to what you’re saying about toxic masculinity.
The thing is toxic masculinity as a phrase is new so it might seem like it exists in a vacuum, however the behaviors that it describes are not new. In answering the question “can men stop perpetuating violence” there is group in California that focuses on dissecting every aspect of the violent situation with their partner. They identify each aspect as manifestations of toxic masculinity. I.e. not calling their partners by their birth name, choking, being dismissive and downplaying the severity of their actions, using the children as leverage, etc.
I think toxic masculinity speaks to the patriarchal structure of our society. Violence, power, coercion yields favorable results. And men have historically used those tactics. Even men who would never do that to a women in some way may participate in those behaviors. It’s the society that we live in. So are all men toxic? Of course that’s unfair to say. But do all men feel like women and men should be regarded equally. No. That’s just not true and that is a result of toxic masculinity. This rant kind of took a turn for feminism but toxic masculinity creates a lot of problems that feminism stands against. So my point is we all participate in one way or another because of how our world is structured
You inspire me 🥰 found your channel today and immediately subscribed
Lot of Muslim countries are poor and underdeveloped and all negative things are associated with that such as misogyny, racism and homophobia
PLEASE KEEP THESE VIDEOS COMING!!!!!!!!
The term toxic masculinity is I think, inadequate because it boils it down to an individual problem. The issue is patriarchy which is a system that has a dual function of oppressing both women and men albeit in different ways. Historically and today most Muslim societies have been and are patriarchal and this causes much of the behavior we see in men and causes the oppression of women.
It's not limited to muslim men for sure but the one I dated and did have children with was just a nightmare.
Using the term “Muslim men” automatically assumes that misogyny is related to the religion. It’s so much more a cultural thing that, no matter what the religion, many men cling on to, even if their religion is opposed to it.
No, that would have to be Islamic men. Muslim doesn't signify that a person is speaking from a religious standpoint. People like you say you're not against criticism of male toxicity in patriarchal Muslim cultures but are the first ones to tell women to be quiet because Islamophobes will perceive the misogyny of Muslim men to be inspired by Islam. To be honest, a lot of Muslim men use religion to oppress Muslim women. However, I acknowledge completely that it's not an Islamic problematic. That being said, men need to stop telling women how to phrase their condemnations. It's condescending.
What I've learned is that muslim men is just a shortcut for middle eastern men, as an algerian even tho like 90% of our population is muslim, we (along side other countries from the arabic west, Morocco, Tunis...) aren't put in mind when people address issues within the muslim community.
Sorry for bad english and all that
It is very much your religion. If you holy book allow for the dehumanization and beating of women, then yes your religion and the men who follow it are very much the problem. You can accuse culture all you want but you know it's not just your culture that continues to treat women as second class citizen.
@@abir547 It is very much your Islamophobia mister know it all. You cannot speak on a holy book you either haven't read completely with full context nor If you're unable to understand the language. It makes you sound as ridiculous as any non English speaker critiquing Shakespeare. Also Muslim women like myself do not need Islamophobes like you to speak up on our behalf. You only substantiate those who're upholding the patriarchal discrimination by proving that Islamophobes do not care about Muslim women at all except when they can exploit us as props to peddle their bigotry .You don't get to speak on our behalf. Muslim women are strong enough to deal with misogynists in our own community as well as pathetic Islamophobes like yourself who conveniently ignore that all traditional patriarchal societies have had issues pertaining to women's rights not just Muslim ones.
@@aamnahere6250 Also mister? 🤣 do you not know my name is an Arabic one that is given to girls and women? Quite sad gonna go cry about it 😢 brb
Thanks for talking about that topic sister.
Love listening to you
I find it in only about 10% of Europeans or Americans but toxic masculinity is very high like 70-80% in Indian and Pak men. Especially in India where I'm from, such people are everywhere. Even if some are not exactly yet displaying toxic masculinity they have a belief system/culture which can make them so. There is a certain older generation which has it(NOT the very old grandpa ones) and surprisingly a lot of the younger generation has it.
Earlier I mentioned "belief system" by which I probably meant like sexist attitudes, conservative views on gender roles, behaviour etc. And these *are not limited to men* but women as well.
The society is structured in a way that people grow up with these belief systems. Friends, relatives irrespective of gender influence our behaviors, media, films enforce it and people just carry on with life blindly without stopping to ponder and explore...
ps: not at all a religious matter bcoz there are mostly Hindus in India.
Yea, sure, reroute the conversation to focus on "bad Hindu men" and unburden yourself. Good strategy.
SIS SPEAKING FACTSSSS
thank you for this conversation.
Thank you!
i am not of your faith but as i respect it i like to know about it & any questions i ask are to women. for some reason they answer more honestly without any macho shite, BTW i come from a Muslim majority area .
Yep, not really an issue of men from a certain religion, this is a worldwide issue. Women being treated as less than, rather than equals. It is good to push for change. Really enjoy these videos Tazzy, keep it up. Also thought your last sentence was interesting 'Society hates women'... are we talking about men here? even if a woman is unconsciously putting down another woman, why would this happen in the first place? possibly the way we have been influenced by men in the first place. It's a weird cycle. Obviously 'not all men' but we can't deny that this issue is due to a majority of men.
Some are some aren't. Just like any other group of people
For myself I could see a toxic male from a distance so I would never date or associate with them let alone marry one. Sexual harassment was just a way of life in the work force, women are taught to just deal with it and not complain. So glad things have changed and men are more aware of what harassment means and more is being done to protect women today. So yeah, the stories of Muslim men and the strict religion would have kept me from dating or marrying one.
Yes, not only that a lot of men think they can do whatever they want( i know a lot of Muslim countries are men are on top, no accountability so whatever, even in religious base).
Exactly and they’re led to believe that they can commit sins because they’re men so it will be excused and that everything women do is sinful.
Chivalry forced men to compete for and woo women, whereas in more primitively patriarchal social structures, men are valorized as the superior sex, so therefore they don’t have to put in the effort, and thus become entitled, undeveloped man children
I think hypergamy also plays a role as in cultures where women are allowed to be autonomous, they end up selecting more favorable and charming men, which inversely encourages men to work on themselves and internalize the female perspective more in hopes of being chosen. This is precisely why a lot of Muslim men are threatened by Feminism and bury this misogynistic fear under the guise of being Anti-Western
At times and the reversal as well yeah
kindly share the link to the data. Great talk.
Hi tazzy I love each and every one of your videos from the beginning, however I just wish that in this video which talks about a very sensitive subject, that it'd mention how it is against the Quran and Sunnah to abuse and oppress women just so people are reminded of where we should always come back to as Muslims
This has nothing to do with Islam tbh. Ur right. But she's talking abt accepted abuse in cultures.
It is in the Quran at 4:34 - Sahih International: Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
@@hereweare9096 you don't know the context , you don't know how it is explained, every single ayat had a explanation in the Hadiths. No one can command you and stop you from something which is your right. Like parents are like ohh you have to obey us (written in Quran) soo you would marry whomever we tell you, but young people are given right to choose the spouse(in Islam). we study Quran as a whole not just use and study a single ayat and give judgement. Some people use Quran to justify there wrong doings. Allah will ask them. We can not here in the comment section make others to understand Quran. Everyone has to study and give time to it.
@@emaanemaan5540 I agree, I was told that everyone should derive meaning and interpretation from the Quran and Hadith only with a teacher over them, so that people don't manipulate the Deen to their own convenience
@@hereweare9096 so what are you trying to say?
Men are less likely to seek therapy and counselling
I love this channel, you actually never miss and always gimme some food for thought. Great content sis keep it up
*I Need an Advice:*
If a girl worker at my work place talks to me at work whenever she feels like doing so and avoids me whenever she feels like doing so plus if she completely ignores me and avoids me outside of work place after we sign out at the end of our shift then please tell me what exactly she is trying to do and what message is she trying to give me? Should I also start avoiding her?
It could be that she considers you as a colleague or co-worker nothing more. I think you should treat people the way they treat you. I would suggest you ask her if you're close to her just to clear things up.
@@leena__saeed Thanks so much for the reply, and I will try to follow your advice.
she is using and manipulating you , just cut her of completely from ur personal life ..in the office if she needs favors from u ,only use a “give and take” policy
I agree with a lot of points in this video, however, I couldn't help but think that some of these things stem directly from desi/other culture and not Islam, it's especially apparent when they contradict Islam.
Love your videos! ❤️
I wish i had a friend like you 🥲 mashaalah💕
Another great video.
Its sad we don't talk about with our own family. You will never know until the last moment. You were always told it shame to talk about this.
Love this topic!
Notification gang 💃🏻
This lady is so cool
The biggest problems here are desi men, and I'll maintain that as a British Pakistani woman. I love Pakistan, but as far as treatment of women goes...often these men aren't too far from the bad rep they get.
As a Pakistani man sorry because we’re always responsible for all of the bad things in the world just because we’re A) Pakistani B) man. I guess I’ll just go kill myself
i am a girl myself, may ALLAH help everyone. INSHAALLAH we all will meet in heavens.
Yes. Have a great day
Is it normal for some girls to be boy-crazy, and for some guys to be girl-crazy?
In the quran having feelings towards the opposite gender is normal,but you need to lowerd your gaze.
Love these topics. Keep em coming.