Stephan. A lot of men don't actually verbalise that they need space, they just go silent and go missing expecting the woman to be a mind reader. The lack of clarity actually comes from the man not having the skills to articulate what they need.
Unfortunately, I was told that after 2 months of utter chaos, after being caught lying and juggling 3 other women. He proposed to me after a solid friendship of 22 years. I found out he owed one woman 160k on a mortgage on his island, and had another so-called ex paying the mortgage & taxes & living in his US property. He allegedly attempted suicide, I immediately came to his aid, and he got diagnosed as a Covert Narcissist. On the FINAL DAY, he asked for space and I pressed him to where SOMEONE should have years ago. He blocked me and I exposed him publicly. I’m thrilled that he is no longer my concern. No more lies and games. I gave him the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT for 2 months, but SKELETONS kept falling out of his closet 🤷🏽♀️ 4 days after finding out about the 160k loan I was DONE. I feel I dodged a bullet and I miss him at times, but I can’t incur over 300k of his debt at my age. My children are adults and doing well and I’m not starting over with debt. He was the one who changed the relationship dynamic and wanted monogamy and marriage 🤷🏽♀️ I didn’t have any more time to allow him to extricate himself from the web of lies he created. Time is relative- the so-called ex has been in his life for 37 years, and she’s been waiting for something. Ladies be careful it gets harder to get out the longer you stay in. Stephan, I appreciate you and respect your opinions in most other regards. This guy was wonderful to me for years and the Summer of 2022 was AMAZING with us, but I found out between Sept 18-Nov 18 that he was living multiple lives that I was unaware of.
EVEN IF HE HAS BEEN A GOOD MAN. NOOOO. THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON WITH HIM. NOW YESSSS I THANK HIM FOR BEING HONEST UPFRONT . SO NOW GO GO GET THE HELP YOU NEED AND TAKE THE TIME HE NEEDS AND WHEN HE FEELS HE IS READY " AND IM NOT TAKEN" ILL GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. BUT I REALLY BELIEVE IS NOT FAIR TO MAKE A WOMAN BELIEVE (THAT SHE SHOULD UNDERSTAND AND SIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT FOR HIM)😢😢😢😢😢
lol girl I just left ATL cause my husband was mad with my hormones because I’m pregnant so he ghosted me & went to his moms so I drive 40 hours with my 4 kids back to Seattle he gone message me when this bby come & im not gone gaf
Never knew what ghosting was until I stepped back into the dating world. I got ghosted and was left so confused. Unfortunately, I let this ghost come back into my life. I am working on breaking away from this person.
If a man says he needs a break. That means "break-up". He's just not ready. I would let him take a break. He Call me when he's ready. If I am available when he calls, then we can talk. There are women who have options just like there are men with options.
When a Dude says he needs space, let him explain but don't wait to chase waterfalls ..move forward He can take all the break he needs in the world ..Just don't expect the woman to wait, I think that's a bit of a lie and holding the woman to ransom, not a fair exchange ..Listen to him but keep on moving Forward keep it simple and uncomplicated
Yes. “Break” is a way of a man trying to break things off but slow roll it so u can possibly come back & not hurt yr feelings by telling u he not that into u. If a man tells me he needs space I move on. Most all of them come back, but the type of person who needs space usually isn’t in the mind frame to be a loving partner. Unless it’s some specific situation like he lost his job or a parent etc
It’s just tough when he’s taken space and didn’t have the decency to say he needed it. All we can do is move on and enjoy our lives and learn what we need to from it.
I needed to hear this! My bf and I are still in our relationship, still together. He told me he needed space bc he has stress from work, he’s mental health, and his feet are going under surgery and all that is over whelming and him trying to keep the relationship a flow on his end it’s all closing in on him. It’s frustrating for me bc I’m very communicative and caring and just want to communicate and care and show I’m here but I know it can hurt situation bc I’m suffocating him. He told me it’s not my fault just his mental health and work and physical health. Which leads to him needing to clear his headspace and balance himself so we can be better as a team and a couple. If him and I can be good that’s one less thing to worry about. I pray my bf feels better and comes around.. 😢
This is why enjoying singlehood is sooooo important. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy being free, unattached, and doing whatever you want BEFORE dating let alone seeking a relationship/marriage.
Ladies, if you have a good, honest, reliable man, keep him... That's my honest advice as a guy. I have seen too many women leaving or divorcing a good man and regretting it afterward. Because of really bad experiences with other men later on in their life. You only know what you have lost, when you actually lost it. That good, reliable ex guy/man will be taken bye another woman. No way back. There are a lot of men out there not willing to commit anymore and only want their fun. Just trust me. Good luck.
Give him space. At the end of the day you can’t force anyone to do anything. Depending on what his reasoning is for needing space and how well he communicates with me, we wouldn’t be able to pick up where we left off. I just had this conversation with someone I was dating. I told him I needed space to work out my own issues mentally and from previous relationships so I could be a better mate to him, but he swore it was because I wanted to be with someone else.
The guy I’m dating just said that same thing to me but it’s bc he lost his job and now has a lower paying position, which made him depressed. I took it hard but I told him I understood. He felt like I was hurt, which I was, and then about a week later he said I don’t want to see you hurt. We can continue to talk, but take it slow, bc he loves me and doesn’t want to loose me. I felt bad bc I never want to hinder his growth and I was upset bc we broke up but I understood. But now I feel some type of way bc we don’t talk as much or see each other as much and I’m trying to be understanding but it’s confusing. We do talk everyday and he still does stuff more me like work on my car. But it’s frustrating cause I’m like are you working on yourself or pulling away?!?! Ughhh
@@SmileyRN06 A decrease in a man’s finances is a major blow to him. If this is the only issue you two have had, I say be patient, supportive, encouraging and uplift him. Some men refuse to be a financial burden on their significant other, and to me that says a lot. Give it to God, he’ll guide you through it.
@@naimam3976 I know girl you are 100% correct. And I told him I want you to focus on yourself and I’ll do the same. We still talk. And honestly it has made us closer in some ways. Thanks ❤️
I need space from my husband so much! When we were dating 15 years ago, he ghosted me, when we saw each other we broke up, he needed his space I gave it to him, he cameback committed after a month, eventually we married, now I need my space so bad! And he won’t give it to me.
I have been watching your videos since my previous partner said he needed a break. I have looked for something like this in the past; thank you for creating this content for those that need it. During that time, I did start therapy with Betterhelp. It truly made all the difference. Better help and your videos allowed me to realize there was (and still are) something(s) I needed to work through and heal within myself. However, my previous partner is still struggling today with his healing journey and has now been diagnosed with a severe mental illness: It's been a rollercoaster, to sum it up. We can not jump to conclusions and instead look within and understand that life is more complex than ego. Thank you again! -Ritza 🐢
The worst is when they don't even have the decency to tell you and just start slowly disappearing... like just tell me... don't pull that kid move plse.. just leaves you hangin' on sidelines.. ladies know to check out, you deserve clear communication and men.. 😘❤️❤️
Exactly. Noticed and confronted him, had even told him before to feel free to tell me to €$% off versus ghosting/silence. He couldn't bother to respond. I won't be available if he returns
@ksref Exactly- just tell me.. I'm a big girl I can handle it.. and the ghosting is so cowardly, if someone chooses that route.. stay beautiful and classy always luv ❤️
This came right on time! The guy I'm dating just said that same thing to me but it's bc he lost his job and now has a lower paying position, which made him depressed. I took it hard but I told him I understood. He felt like I was hurt, which I was, and then about a week later he said I don't want to see you hurt. We can continue to talk, but take it slow, be he loves me and doesn't want to loose me. I felt bad be I never want to hinder his growth and I was upset be we broke up but I understood. But now I feel some type of way be we don't talk as much or see each other as much and I'm trying to be understanding but it's confusing. We do talk everyday and he still does stuff more me like work on my car. But it's frustrating cause I'm like are you working on yourself or pulling away?!?!
I DONT BELIEVE IN BREAKS 😢😢😢. THE MESSAGE IS CONFUSING 😢😢 SO IF IM MARRIED AND I AS A WOMAN NEED A BREAK FROM FROM MY HUSBAND ??? I DONT THINK SO. ITS CALLED COMMUNICATION AND GET COUNSELING IF NEEDED. IF WE BELIEVE IN GOD I THINK ITS THE BEST WAY
This is really hard to watch. We broke up a year ago and been on and off. I kept myself away from him until recently and he reached out. He said he was sorry for everything he did. He wrote me everything that he felt through text and of course me who still has some type of feelings for him, decided to tell him that I still loved him. However, I never said I wanted us back, but I said I missed him and it’s been tough for me individually going through these motions. When I called him the last time I told him it was really unfair for him to reach out to me because I still feel a certain way about him. Now he doesn’t even answer my text and hasn’t called me. So I’m really confused. I’m really sad because there’s a lot of going back-and-forth and I feel like I’m not allowed to move on and I’m also not allowed to figure out what we are because he won’t communicate with me. I don’t know what else to do but I’m really torn and I’m glad you talked about the unfairness because that’s where I’m at right now.
Hon we’ve all been there but please for your own sake, go ahead & block him & move on. You’re not in love with the real him, but an idea of what “could be.” It hurts, but we gotta accept reality. If he wants to change & get in touch later, he will, but nobody ever changes from us trying to force it. Let go & let God/ the Universe, is really timeless wisdom. Think of it as a mental vacation. The goal is to get an “emotional cleanse” from him. Maybe it sounds silly, but if you try it for at least 30 days where u don’t talk to him don’t check is socials don’t even talk ABOUT him to yr friends… you will feel much better. Good luck & God bless ❤
Stephan, is there ever any hope when a man acts distant? I just feel like when it happens, it’s a reflection that he doesn’t take you seriously enough to want to overcome those obstacles and hurdles, or make the necessary sacrifice to get with you. It pains me to see how easy it is for him to just switch off and not communicate with me, despite how well we get along and how close we get. I don’t understand why he tried to water down our connection whenever it gets stronger or whenever we reach a milestone in our relationship. It just feels so sad and so unfair, especially because I had waited so long for him to come back. This is such a difficult time for me 🥺
Most are involved with other pe! Don't be juggled around or his option!! Everyone isn't confused about what they want. Especially older men or women. Not serious and not a candidate for a commitment
If his intentions are true and pure then he won't allow any chance to loose you even though he has requested for a space...sometimes in not trying to hold it we get it
Relationships in itself "can" be hard, especially these days and times. But I do believe that there is someone foe everyone..communication, understanding and discernment is the absolute key in any situation/ relationship...May God allow us all to experience the love and understanding we deserve in life!❤❤🙏🙏 Peace & Blessings to us all!😊
My husband said that after 14 years and 4 children and 2 days after Valentine's Day later. When I put him through school and held things down. Just went to the front door with a few bags and said that he needed a break. 6 months later he has not once even called to check on our children and when they call him he doesn't even answer. So Stephan please explain this one! When we went he wouldn't say anything. When the therapy asked him what he wanted to say, all that he said was "nothing everything she said was true". And didn't say anything else.
Maybe he wasn't being himself all this time and couldn't keep up the facade anymore. I'm so sorry you and your baby's are going through this. I'll be praying for you. 🫶🏾
You hit the nail on the head with this one Huni. Difference is I was the one who needed space and he wasn’t understanding the situation and everything that you have said is so true. I even explained why I needed space and he wasn’t excepting it and thought I was pushing him away which wasn’t even the case. so as the women being the one needing space all the things you said about how the man feels I was feeling. So he took it upon himself to end it 😔
@@scarletsletter4466 Yes Huni these men be acting real funny. who knows the reason but I feel like if that is the person for you God will put them back in your life at the right time. that’s all we can hope for.
I appreciate this video! I was just told he needs space with no clarity a few months ago after a year of being together. My head was going wild! He had his space and we are still friends at this point. Clarity and talking is the best remedy but sometimes there is a time and place for it. Patience and knowledge to navigate the situation is hard. We also need Stephan to explain better ways to react and move forward 😂. Thank you!
Thank you, my guy has aging parents, 2 jobs, depression etc. He def just needs to be alone sometimes. I wish he could verbalize it more easily but this is helpful
Its hard because we are so intertwined with our families. He said he is keeping to himself right now and is putting everything into perspective in a larger scheme. He said I do love you, very much but all of this is wearing him very thin. (He is going through a rough patch and ive been a little selfish with my needs).No clear boundaries have been set and we were planning on marriage and a family.
This is such a good word! And a TIMELY WORD! I'm not in this situation but In the event that it happens I know better how to handle it. THANKYOU! YOUR WISDOM IS AMAZING!!
A break and WITH NO TIME WHEN WE GET BACK TOGETHER????😢😢😢😢😢 OHHHH HECK NO. 😂 HE IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN A SHELF AND PICK ME UP WHEN HES READY??? THAT'S NOT FAIR TO THE WOMAN. WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSE TO DO IN THE MEAN TIME??? WAIT ✋️ ✋️ ✋️ ✋️ OHHHH HECK NO. SORRY 😊
Currently going through this 7 years married 39 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child. He told me he needed space I found out he’s been talking to women behind my back I’ve never had trust issues before. I confronted him about it and he stated she’s just a friend. He’s said he wants to work on himself and I should as well . I find it very hard to take everything happening around in being pregnant is physically and mentally draining having to deal with this has really sparked anger and anxiety for me. He stated to me I’m not the same and he can’t talk to me about how he feels. I feel very hurt because of the time frame. I’m not sure whether to stay and be understanding or file for divorce I’m also on maternity leave for 3 months ..
my boyfriend said he needed space, and i told him ok and i was worried about him and i would be there for him if he needed me. but im very sad and lonely. i hope he comes back soon...
I really wish I knew this a couple years ago. I really could have used this counsel instead of being in my feelings. That ship has likely sailed but still this is timely for the next man I establish a connection with. (Looking on the upside🙏🏽)
My boyfriend of 14 years told me he needed some time and space due to pressure from work and family issues. It broke my heart and as much as it hurt me I respected it, and told him I understood. I’m in so much pain right now but I want to respect his needs. He said he knew he wasn’t giving the relationship the attention and love it deserves 😭
As a person that have already needed space in my relationship I can say that this doesn’t mean necessarily that the person who needs space doesn’t like you. Maybe you are just a bit too kingly.
Then get someone else. You can't just go in there and expect people not to need what they need. Say that up front, see if they can do something to fix it, if they can't, it's their genuine need and you are unable to fulfill it. So just leave.
Stephan always gets me😂...no matter how serious the subject is...His bouts of laughter during certain points always lightens the topic at hand. " Just tell him - whatever it is, be honest with me...he's gon' think it's a trap😂" 16:50
My friend told me let’s take a break, he lives in Nc & im in Ct, I feel if need a break & your already far away, I don’t do emotional roller coaster & he said don’t call me I’ll call you, he has checked out he won’t answer my calls or text, there is no checkup when he has checked out, im mindful of my heart..so I’m moving on , I’ll save myself the headache & heartache
This was very informative What about long friendships. No commitment? Sometimes defection but never a commitment. What or should I say when is it too far and it’s beginning to feel like a situation-ship. One person has feeling and the other - says we are friends?!? 😊
Thank you so much. I recently had this happen to me and honestly In the start I freaked out but after this im feeling a lot better about backing up and still going and trusting in my sprits ❤
Well my ex boyfriend of a short term relationship told me he needed space and now he is dating his ex girlfriend again their relationship is toxic because they always breaking up and making up. I should have listen to people when they told me that him and ex girlfriend always breaking up and making up they deserve each other. I have moved on don't have time for games. 🤔
You need space? Take all the space that you need....Im out. Nobody has time for emotional gymnastics. Women go through stuff and manage to work through it while in the relationship ...SO we are either in or out. Men are too complicated. Sort yourself out before looking for a mate.
A lot of this helped me except for the God part since im athiest. I came here because my bf recently distanced himself from me out of the blue, and i needed some validation and advice on the way i SHOULD be feeling and how to handle it. Thank you for your words.
I met a guy a month ago and we had the vibes and would talk almost everyday and then a week ago I realized he ignored me the whole time for two days after we had a discussion about love languages and we disagreed a little. I decided to ask him why won’t he communicate those two days and he said “ I need space sometimes”! So I said okay I understand you and I will give you space but I just thought I did something wrong to you. Then he went quiet and it’s been 4 days now I’ve given him space. He’s not my boyfriend we were in the talking stages and we both said we are who we are looking for in a relationship. I’m confused! What is he thinking? Is it possible he’s not interested anymore? He’s very vocal, if that’s the case why doesn’t he just say he’s not that interested? We have not even met, is the communication overwhelming to him?
On the topic of time frame, i literally asked for a day to myself and girl has already paragraph texted me and called me more than 5 times. This is after having spent the last 3 days with her back to back. I just wanted to spend time with me alone but damn...
@@MeetStephanSpeaks l am trying so hard to be free l am so happy being single but l get lonely sometimes but l will not settle, l have been following you for over a year l appreciate your advice best
Oh wow this was a good idea ! You always hit it on the nose because I’m going the this now. It’s been two weeks since we’ve spoken until on my birthday two days ago he texted me happy birthday but that’s all he said wished me a happy birthday but didn’t say anything else after that so it’s hard to really know but I’m assuming he doesn’t really care to continue to speak to me so I’m not sure which direction to go so I’m letting go and letting god and letting god lead me. I’m not chasing a man especially a Sagittarius at that because I’m respecting what he told me when he asked me for space
Gave him 2 weekends of space saw him one weekend then he wanted 4 day weekend alone Valentine’s Day. I had to tell him I want to pick up my stuff we’re done … it’s very hurtful & that’s bullshit.
Four years relationship, 3 years long distance, now my boyfriend said he wants a two weeks break. I didn't take it well. Should i forget about him and heal my broken heart?
Oh wow this was a good idea ! You always hit it on the nose because I’m going the this now. It’s been two weeks since we’ve spoken until on my birthday two days ago he texted me happy birthday but that’s all he said wished me a happy birthday but didn’t say anything else after that so it’s hard to really know but I’m assuming he doesn’t really care to continue to speak to me so I’m not sure which direction to go so I’m letting go and letting god and letting god lead me. I’m not chasing a man especially a Sagittarius at that because I’m respecting what he told me
Same as let me get my head together & u was once feeling me us now u not feeling anything that's what's messed up how u switch ur feelings off like a light switch now that's sone mind playing mess
What when one doesn't get or perceive God's will in a situation, due to inhabitude ort insufficient God-contact/practise/know-how, stress, lack of sleep, energy and safety?
What should you do if you mention some red flag issues and he retreats. He’s a texter and he is avoiding the conversation. I’m trying to be patient and wait for him to come to me l. He’s sending brief communication but there is clear avoidance to having a conversation. How can someone say I love you but your actions do not align.
Nah I don't think so and that about because of past relationships I don't think so because people that have been through it they already know what the outcome is going to be and another thing is if a woman or a man is feeling some type of way like I said they already know the signs let a man tell me they need space they can have all the space in the world ain't no coming back from
Thank you. You are just an option cause nobody would want to risk losing what they truly love. In the long run you will always feel like you need to prove your worth for the rest of your relationship. Tell yourself the truth.
Is him saying "please leave me alone" the same as asking for space? For context we have known each other for like 10 years and have been on and off again but never in an actual relationship.
He said he didn’t need space anymore and everything was fine and one day mid conversation he completely disappeared but continued watching My social media . It went from one day to a weak now. I just want an explanation. I’ve known him for 12 years plus , I’m so hurt . I blocked him n everything bc u disappeared but want access to see what I’m doing
What u mean he disappeared? He watch yr stories but don’t reply if u msg him directly? I’ve had them do that before. Sometimes maybe he is going thru something bad or busy at work but usually it means they’re just “not that into” us but don’t wanna hurt our feelings by telling us what’s up. But watch, he will come back trying to hookup eventually. Most of these men are 🤡
Stephan. A lot of men don't actually verbalise that they need space, they just go silent and go missing expecting the woman to be a mind reader. The lack of clarity actually comes from the man not having the skills to articulate what they need.
THIS!!! ^^
💯
I wish i understood why this happens
I agreee. This is what happened to me. Till i asked whats wrong?
Happened to me.. I let him go and am hurt 😢
Once a man says he needs a break, I immediately fall back. I’ve been through the emotional limbo and won’t go through it again.
Give him space and move on with your life
Thank you for your feedback I appreciate that.
Unfortunately, I was told that after 2 months of utter chaos, after being caught lying and juggling 3 other women. He proposed to me after a solid friendship of 22 years. I found out he owed one woman 160k on a mortgage on his island, and had another so-called ex paying the mortgage & taxes & living in his US property. He allegedly attempted suicide, I immediately came to his aid, and he got diagnosed as a Covert Narcissist. On the FINAL DAY, he asked for space and I pressed him to where SOMEONE should have years ago. He blocked me and I exposed him publicly. I’m thrilled that he is no longer my concern. No more lies and games. I gave him the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT for 2 months, but SKELETONS kept falling out of his closet 🤷🏽♀️ 4 days after finding out about the 160k loan I was DONE. I feel I dodged a bullet and I miss him at times, but I can’t incur over 300k of his debt at my age. My children are adults and doing well and I’m not starting over with debt. He was the one who changed the relationship dynamic and wanted monogamy and marriage 🤷🏽♀️ I didn’t have any more time to allow him to extricate himself from the web of lies he created. Time is relative- the so-called ex has been in his life for 37 years, and she’s been waiting for something. Ladies be careful it gets harder to get out the longer you stay in. Stephan, I appreciate you and respect your opinions in most other regards. This guy was wonderful to me for years and the Summer of 2022 was AMAZING with us, but I found out between Sept 18-Nov 18 that he was living multiple lives that I was unaware of.
Yep...tell him bye! He can have space for the rest of his life! 😊
@@patriciamccraig1772 EXACTLY! HE GOT IT!! 😂😂
Amen that's what I did I gave him all the space he needed and keep on moving.
EVEN IF HE HAS BEEN A GOOD MAN. NOOOO. THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON WITH HIM. NOW YESSSS I THANK HIM FOR BEING HONEST UPFRONT . SO NOW GO GO GET THE HELP YOU NEED AND TAKE THE TIME HE NEEDS AND WHEN HE FEELS HE IS READY " AND IM NOT TAKEN" ILL GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. BUT I REALLY BELIEVE IS NOT FAIR TO MAKE A WOMAN BELIEVE (THAT SHE SHOULD UNDERSTAND AND SIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT FOR HIM)😢😢😢😢😢
The last man that told me we need a break..I packed up and moved to Atlanta.I have been here since 93
lol girl I just left ATL cause my husband was mad with my hormones because I’m pregnant so he ghosted me & went to his moms so I drive 40 hours with my 4 kids back to Seattle he gone message me when this bby come & im not gone gaf
@@ThatblessedfamilyOMG! Girl are you serious?? Does he know what comes along with a pregnancy??!.You just take care of yourself and your little ones❤
Needing space is one thing but ghosting is another. A lot of men choose the latter. 💯
It definitely isn't an easy situation but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Never knew what ghosting was until I stepped back into the dating world. I got ghosted and was left so confused. Unfortunately, I let this ghost come back into my life. I am working on breaking away from this person.
@@sheryllynrivera6391 Good for you because you deserve better. I wish you the best.
@@CJizzy819 Thank you 🙏
@@sheryllynrivera6391 you’re welcome.
When he asks for space, give that ninja🥷🏿the damn GALAXY. BuhBye!!!
When a man says to me I need space ..I will give him the space forever!
Ya give him the universe
😂😂
@@lorawhite1017😂😂
Forever
If a man says he needs a break. That means "break-up". He's just not ready. I would let him take a break. He Call me when he's ready. If I am available when he calls, then we can talk. There are women who have options just like there are men with options.
When they needed space I’ll gave to them, they ALWAYS comeback!
It’s crazy. All promises and now no more.
After they’ve slept around yes. I don’t want that back
When a Dude says he needs space, let him explain but don't wait to chase waterfalls ..move forward He can take all the break he needs in the world ..Just don't expect the woman to wait, I think that's a bit of a lie and holding the woman to ransom, not a fair exchange ..Listen to him but keep on moving Forward keep it simple and uncomplicated
Yes. “Break” is a way of a man trying to break things off but slow roll it so u can possibly come back & not hurt yr feelings by telling u he not that into u. If a man tells me he needs space I move on. Most all of them come back, but the type of person who needs space usually isn’t in the mind frame to be a loving partner. Unless it’s some specific situation like he lost his job or a parent etc
It’s just tough when he’s taken space and didn’t have the decency to say he needed it. All we can do is move on and enjoy our lives and learn what we need to from it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
👍🏼
Same. That should be part of your regular communication.
If he told tou he need space, it means he did have the decency to tell you lol
Happened to me
I needed to hear this! My bf and I are still in our relationship, still together. He told me he needed space bc he has stress from work, he’s mental health, and his feet are going under surgery and all that is over whelming and him trying to keep the relationship a flow on his end it’s all closing in on him. It’s frustrating for me bc I’m very communicative and caring and just want to communicate and care and show I’m here but I know it can hurt situation bc I’m suffocating him. He told me it’s not my fault just his mental health and work and physical health. Which leads to him needing to clear his headspace and balance himself so we can be better as a team and a couple. If him and I can be good that’s one less thing to worry about. I pray my bf feels better and comes around.. 😢
Just move on. That’s just excuses
What happened?
This is why enjoying singlehood is sooooo important. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy being free, unattached, and doing whatever you want BEFORE dating let alone seeking a relationship/marriage.
🎯
So true.
Yesss!!!
Ladies, if you have a good, honest, reliable man, keep him... That's my honest advice as a guy. I have seen too many women leaving or divorcing a good man and regretting it afterward. Because of really bad experiences with other men later on in their life. You only know what you have lost, when you actually lost it. That good, reliable ex guy/man will be taken bye another woman. No way back. There are a lot of men out there not willing to commit anymore and only want their fun. Just trust me. Good luck.
Just give a sincere advice. Cut this trying to create a competition "other women would take him" crap. It's annoying.
Give him space. At the end of the day you can’t force anyone to do anything.
Depending on what his reasoning is for needing space and how well he communicates with me, we wouldn’t be able to pick up where we left off.
I just had this conversation with someone I was dating. I told him I needed space to work out my own issues mentally and from previous relationships so I could be a better mate to him, but he swore it was because I wanted to be with someone else.
The guy I’m dating just said that same thing to me but it’s bc he lost his job and now has a lower paying position, which made him depressed. I took it hard but I told him I understood. He felt like I was hurt, which I was, and then about a week later he said I don’t want to see you hurt. We can continue to talk, but take it slow, bc he loves me and doesn’t want to loose me. I felt bad bc I never want to hinder his growth and I was upset bc we broke up but I understood. But now I feel some type of way bc we don’t talk as much or see each other as much and I’m trying to be understanding but it’s confusing. We do talk everyday and he still does stuff more me like work on my car. But it’s frustrating cause I’m like are you working on yourself or pulling away?!?! Ughhh
@@SmileyRN06 A decrease in a man’s finances is a major blow to him. If this is the only issue you two have had, I say be patient, supportive, encouraging and uplift him. Some men refuse to be a financial burden on their significant other, and to me that says a lot. Give it to God, he’ll guide you through it.
@@SmileyRN06girl, sometimes its better to focus on yourself and let these men go mentally and physically distant ourselves from them.
@@naimam3976 I know girl you are 100% correct. And I told him I want you to focus on yourself and I’ll do the same. We still talk. And honestly it has made us closer in some ways. Thanks ❤️
I need space from my husband so much! When we were dating 15 years ago, he ghosted me, when we saw each other we broke up, he needed his space I gave it to him, he cameback committed after a month, eventually we married, now I need my space so bad! And he won’t give it to me.
I have been watching your videos since my previous partner said he needed a break. I have looked for something like this in the past; thank you for creating this content for those that need it. During that time, I did start therapy with Betterhelp. It truly made all the difference. Better help and your videos allowed me to realize there was (and still are) something(s) I needed to work through and heal within myself. However, my previous partner is still struggling today with his healing journey and has now been diagnosed with a severe mental illness: It's been a rollercoaster, to sum it up. We can not jump to conclusions and instead look within and understand that life is more complex than ego. Thank you again! -Ritza 🐢
Give him so much space you forget he's alive lol
😂😂😂😂😂
The worst is when they don't even have the decency to tell you and just start slowly disappearing... like just tell me... don't pull that kid move plse.. just leaves you hangin' on sidelines.. ladies know to check out, you deserve clear communication and men.. 😘❤️❤️
Exactly. Noticed and confronted him, had even told him before to feel free to tell me to €$% off versus ghosting/silence. He couldn't bother to respond. I won't be available if he returns
@ksref Exactly- just tell me.. I'm a big girl I can handle it.. and the ghosting is so cowardly, if someone chooses that route.. stay beautiful and classy always luv ❤️
When he says he needs space, you go out with your other dude, duuuh. 🤷🏾♀️😂💅🏾
😂😂😂😂😂
💯ha! Time & place of the party ,😅
What a way to slide out !
You go girl.. that was just too funny 🤣🤣
Yasssssss hunty🤞🏾
Where are the seven things? This video is too long and time-consuming for me to listen to all the explanation.
This came right on time!
The guy I'm dating just said that same thing to me but it's bc he lost his job and now has a lower paying position, which made him depressed. I took it hard but I told him I understood. He felt like I was hurt, which I was, and then about a week later he said I don't want to see you hurt.
We can continue to talk, but take it slow, be he loves me and doesn't want to loose me. I felt bad be I never want to hinder his growth and I was upset be we broke up but I understood. But now I feel some type of way be we don't talk as much or see each other as much and I'm trying to be understanding but it's confusing. We do talk everyday and he still does stuff more me like work on my car. But it's frustrating cause I'm like are you working on yourself or pulling away?!?!
I DONT BELIEVE IN BREAKS 😢😢😢. THE MESSAGE IS CONFUSING 😢😢 SO IF IM MARRIED AND I AS A WOMAN NEED A BREAK FROM FROM MY HUSBAND ??? I DONT THINK SO. ITS CALLED COMMUNICATION AND GET COUNSELING IF NEEDED. IF WE BELIEVE IN GOD I THINK ITS THE BEST WAY
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
This is really hard to watch. We broke up a year ago and been on and off. I kept myself away from him until recently and he reached out. He said he was sorry for everything he did. He wrote me everything that he felt through text and of course me who still has some type of feelings for him, decided to tell him that I still loved him. However, I never said I wanted us back, but I said I missed him and it’s been tough for me individually going through these motions. When I called him the last time I told him it was really unfair for him to reach out to me because I still feel a certain way about him. Now he doesn’t even answer my text and hasn’t called me. So I’m really confused. I’m really sad because there’s a lot of going back-and-forth and I feel like I’m not allowed to move on and I’m also not allowed to figure out what we are because he won’t communicate with me. I don’t know what else to do but I’m really torn and I’m glad you talked about the unfairness because that’s where I’m at right now.
Hon we’ve all been there but please for your own sake, go ahead & block him & move on. You’re not in love with the real him, but an idea of what “could be.” It hurts, but we gotta accept reality. If he wants to change & get in touch later, he will, but nobody ever changes from us trying to force it. Let go & let God/ the Universe, is really timeless wisdom.
Think of it as a mental vacation. The goal is to get an “emotional cleanse” from him. Maybe it sounds silly, but if you try it for at least 30 days where u don’t talk to him don’t check is socials don’t even talk ABOUT him to yr friends… you will feel much better.
Good luck & God bless ❤
Stephan, is there ever any hope when a man acts distant? I just feel like when it happens, it’s a reflection that he doesn’t take you seriously enough to want to overcome those obstacles and hurdles, or make the necessary sacrifice to get with you. It pains me to see how easy it is for him to just switch off and not communicate with me, despite how well we get along and how close we get. I don’t understand why he tried to water down our connection whenever it gets stronger or whenever we reach a milestone in our relationship. It just feels so sad and so unfair, especially because I had waited so long for him to come back. This is such a difficult time for me 🥺
This just recently happened to me. I blocked him. I'm too old to be playing around.
Most are involved with other pe! Don't be juggled around or his option!! Everyone isn't confused about what they want. Especially older men or women. Not serious and not a candidate for a commitment
If his intentions are true and pure then he won't allow any chance to loose you even though he has requested for a space...sometimes in not trying to hold it we get it
Relationships in itself "can" be hard, especially these days and times. But I do believe that there is someone foe everyone..communication, understanding and discernment is the absolute key in any situation/ relationship...May God allow us all to experience the love and understanding we deserve in life!❤❤🙏🙏 Peace & Blessings to us all!😊
My husband said that after 14 years and 4 children and 2 days after Valentine's Day later. When I put him through school and held things down. Just went to the front door with a few bags and said that he needed a break. 6 months later he has not once even called to check on our children and when they call him he doesn't even answer. So Stephan please explain this one!
When we went he wouldn't say anything. When the therapy asked him what he wanted to say, all that he said was "nothing everything she said was true". And didn't say anything else.
The way I am angry and crying at this post. Bless u love🫂
He living a new life sis. It’s time to look at divorce. As a man who has children and a marriage behaves like this he definitely has someone else
Maybe he wasn't being himself all this time and couldn't keep up the facade anymore. I'm so sorry you and your baby's are going through this. I'll be praying for you. 🫶🏾
Karma is a you know what. He'll get what's coming to him, no worries.
Wow. I am so sorry this happened to you. At least you have beautiful children. ❤
You hit the nail on the head with this one Huni. Difference is I was the one who needed space and he wasn’t understanding the situation and everything that you have said is so true. I even explained why I needed space and he wasn’t excepting it and thought I was pushing him away which wasn’t even the case. so as the women being the one needing space all the things you said about how the man feels I was feeling. So he took it upon himself to end it 😔
Same thing happened to me & I just wanted space bc work was bad. These males are suspicious tho 😢
@@scarletsletter4466 Yes Huni these men be acting real funny. who knows the reason but I feel like if that is the person for you God will put them back in your life at the right time. that’s all we can hope for.
If someone wants you they do if they don't move on life to short it happens everyday
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I appreciate this video! I was just told he needs space with no clarity a few months ago after a year of being together. My head was going wild! He had his space and we are still friends at this point. Clarity and talking is the best remedy but sometimes there is a time and place for it. Patience and knowledge to navigate the situation is hard. We also need Stephan to explain better ways to react and move forward 😂. Thank you!
Are you all still together?
Respond don't React. Always act in your best interest.
Thank you, my guy has aging parents, 2 jobs, depression etc. He def just needs to be alone sometimes. I wish he could verbalize it more easily but this is helpful
Its hard because we are so intertwined with our families. He said he is keeping to himself right now and is putting everything into perspective in a larger scheme. He said I do love you, very much but all of this is wearing him very thin. (He is going through a rough patch and ive been a little selfish with my needs).No clear boundaries have been set and we were planning on marriage and a family.
This is such a good word! And a TIMELY WORD! I'm not in this situation but In the event that it happens I know better how to handle it. THANKYOU! YOUR WISDOM IS AMAZING!!
A break and WITH NO TIME WHEN WE GET BACK TOGETHER????😢😢😢😢😢 OHHHH HECK NO. 😂 HE IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN A SHELF AND PICK ME UP WHEN HES READY??? THAT'S NOT FAIR TO THE WOMAN. WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSE TO DO IN THE MEAN TIME??? WAIT ✋️ ✋️ ✋️ ✋️ OHHHH HECK NO. SORRY 😊
Currently going through this 7 years married 39 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child. He told me he needed space I found out he’s been talking to women behind my back I’ve never had trust issues before. I confronted him about it and he stated she’s just a friend. He’s said he wants to work on himself and I should as well . I find it very hard to take everything happening around in being pregnant is physically and mentally draining having to deal with this has really sparked anger and anxiety for me. He stated to me I’m not the same and he can’t talk to me about how he feels. I feel very hurt because of the time frame. I’m not sure whether to stay and be understanding or file for divorce I’m also on maternity leave for 3 months ..
Give him space forever
I need a break is not the same as I need space
Yeah
my boyfriend said he needed space, and i told him ok and i was worried about him and i would be there for him if he needed me. but im very sad and lonely. i hope he comes back soon...
Update? Did he come back?
I LOVE Better Help. My school paid for my sessions. Very effective when take seriously. 💯
Thank you for sharing your experience hopefully it will help others learn from it!
Amen proper communication love & respect is the key in relationships
This is so true. Sometimes you can’t speak with friends or family.
I really wish I knew this a couple years ago. I really could have used this counsel instead of being in my feelings. That ship has likely sailed but still this is timely for the next man I establish a connection with. (Looking on the upside🙏🏽)
My boyfriend of 14 years told me he needed some time and space due to pressure from work and family issues. It broke my heart and as much as it hurt me I respected it, and told him I understood.
I’m in so much pain right now but I want to respect his needs. He said he knew he wasn’t giving the relationship the attention and love it deserves 😭
Right ! Trust God, not yourself!
Every time this has happened to me it was always bad. So now I just stay out of serious relationships and just have fun dating when I can
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks It's all good. Doesn't help to stay hurt.
But thank you. 🤗
The friends part had me rolling 🤣
I literally have Ross’ voice in my head “WE WERE ON A BREAAAK!”
As a person that have already needed space in my relationship I can say that this doesn’t mean necessarily that the person who needs space doesn’t like you. Maybe you are just a bit too kingly.
Clingly*
Then get someone else. You can't just go in there and expect people not to need what they need.
Say that up front, see if they can do something to fix it, if they can't, it's their genuine need and you are unable to fulfill it. So just leave.
So crazy how this popped up I am going through this right now
That example you gave of the man that hasn't been single completely hit home.
❤️ Thank you for watching! For books, coaching, events and MORE go to 👉 www.stephanspeaksshop.com
Stephan always gets me😂...no matter how serious the subject is...His bouts of laughter during certain points always lightens the topic at hand.
" Just tell him - whatever it is, be honest with me...he's gon' think it's a trap😂" 16:50
My friend told me let’s take a break, he lives in Nc & im in Ct, I feel if need a break & your already far away, I don’t do emotional roller coaster & he said don’t call me I’ll call you, he has checked out he won’t answer my calls or text, there is no checkup when he has checked out, im mindful of my heart..so I’m moving on , I’ll save myself the headache & heartache
This was very informative
What about long friendships. No commitment? Sometimes defection but never a commitment. What or should I say when is it too far and it’s beginning to feel like a situation-ship. One person has feeling and the other - says we are friends?!? 😊
I'm dealing with this now
Thank you so much. I recently had this happen to me and honestly In the start I freaked out but after this im feeling a lot better about backing up and still going and trusting in my sprits ❤
Give him permanent space......
Well my ex boyfriend of a short term relationship told me he needed space and now he is dating his ex girlfriend again their relationship is toxic because they always breaking up and making up. I should have listen to people when they told me that him and ex girlfriend always breaking up and making up they deserve each other. I have moved on don't have time for games. 🤔
This happened to me... And then they got married and had 2 kids.
@@chocodeluxe oh wow! We just have to love ourselves and move on better will come one day just put your trust in God. 🙏🙌
Happened to me!
You need space? Take all the space that you need....Im out. Nobody has time for emotional gymnastics. Women go through stuff and manage to work through it while in the relationship ...SO we are either in or out. Men are too complicated. Sort yourself out before looking for a mate.
A lot of this helped me except for the God part since im athiest. I came here because my bf recently distanced himself from me out of the blue, and i needed some validation and advice on the way i SHOULD be feeling and how to handle it. Thank you for your words.
I know life sometimes can be difficult but i know who God said im to be with but they may not chose me but i did write him a letter
I met a guy a month ago and we had the vibes and would talk almost everyday and then a week ago I realized he ignored me the whole time for two days after we had a discussion about love languages and we disagreed a little. I decided to ask him why won’t he communicate those two days and he said “ I need space sometimes”! So I said okay I understand you and I will give you space but I just thought I did something wrong to you. Then he went quiet and it’s been 4 days now I’ve given him space. He’s not my boyfriend we were in the talking stages and we both said we are who we are looking for in a relationship. I’m confused! What is he thinking? Is it possible he’s not interested anymore? He’s very vocal, if that’s the case why doesn’t he just say he’s not that interested? We have not even met, is the communication overwhelming to him?
I have peace with whatever happens because of God.
On the topic of time frame, i literally asked for a day to myself and girl has already paragraph texted me and called me more than 5 times. This is after having spent the last 3 days with her back to back. I just wanted to spend time with me alone but damn...
Oh no thats too much on EVERY planet and Im a female..#somebodyhelpplease😮
This is why I love Stephan!
I am not ready for this new dating game l am 56 years old l have been in therapy for 12 years, it's unfair for a partner not to be clear
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks l am trying so hard to be free l am so happy being single but l get lonely sometimes but l will not settle, l have been following you for over a year l appreciate your advice best
Oh wow this was a good idea ! You always hit it on the nose because I’m going the this now. It’s been two weeks since we’ve spoken until on my birthday two days ago he texted me happy birthday but that’s all he said wished me a happy birthday but didn’t say anything else after that so it’s hard to really know but I’m assuming he doesn’t really care to continue to speak to me so I’m not sure which direction to go so I’m letting go and letting god and letting god lead me. I’m not chasing a man especially a Sagittarius at that because I’m respecting what he told me when he asked me for space
Currently on the same and he is a scorpio
Always have a spare😂
You took the word right out my mouth 😂🤣🤣🤣
Like a spare tire in this piece. 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 fr fr
Getting his head together same thang as this to me
Thank you for this im struggling with no contact even though hes made it clear the more i cry and beh the longer it with take to resolve
😂😂😂 not with where we are now mentally… he can also go on sabbatical leave…
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate hearing from you 🙏
I’m not doing 7 anything when a man pull away imma let him go fk all that
Gave him 2 weekends of space saw him one weekend then he wanted 4 day weekend alone Valentine’s Day. I had to tell him I want to pick up my stuff we’re done … it’s very hurtful & that’s bullshit.
Exactly what am going through now
OKAAYY sponsorship...! 👏🏾
Very sound advice. Thank you. 🙏
Four years relationship, 3 years long distance, now my boyfriend said he wants a two weeks break. I didn't take it well. Should i forget about him and heal my broken heart?
I'm gonna understand that you need space but don't call me for shit because we're on a break and you needed space
Thank you for sharing your thoughts ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks lol you've taught me a lot thank you
Ok I was on board until the I dont know if Im done being single. HE SHOULD HAVE MADE SURE HE WAS DONE WITH THAT BEFORE HE GOT WITH ME!!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Hope I wasn't mean lol
Absolutely
Best advice ever…thank you💕
Getting his head together same as taking a break at least thats the way I felt it meant
Im giving him the chance ❤
Profound, thanks!
My pleasure ❤️
Its just like being separated in marriage.... YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!!
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Correck with a K....why do people make excuses about this. GET A DIVORCE. #theend
Yes it is time to move on I realize that now.
Thank you, I think the example you have chosen might have been for me ❤
Brilliant, thank you so much, really clearly set out and very helpful❤
Thank you for this video 🙏💕💕🙏
My pleasure ❤️
what would you tell a person if they want to continue extending the break or gets on an unhealthy ongoing pattern to get on breaks on a regular basis?
@STEPHANSPEAKS GOOD POINT
Oh wow this was a good idea ! You always hit it on the nose because I’m going the this now. It’s been two weeks since we’ve spoken until on my birthday two days ago he texted me happy birthday but that’s all he said wished me a happy birthday but didn’t say anything else after that so it’s hard to really know but I’m assuming he doesn’t really care to continue to speak to me so I’m not sure which direction to go so I’m letting go and letting god and letting god lead me. I’m not chasing a man especially a Sagittarius at that because I’m respecting what he told me
Same as let me get my head together & u was once feeling me us now u not feeling anything that's what's messed up how u switch ur feelings off like a light switch now that's sone mind playing mess
Thank you, I needed that video ❤
My pleasure ❤️
What when one doesn't get or perceive God's will in a situation, due to inhabitude ort insufficient God-contact/practise/know-how, stress, lack of sleep, energy and safety?
If he's pulling away, let him go! Because he's already gone 😢
Ya not sure what to do!! Your left in limbo etc yes
What if you say.. I wish you well? After he says he needs space?
Omg I needed this video!!
What should you do if you mention some red flag issues and he retreats. He’s a texter and he is avoiding the conversation. I’m trying to be patient and wait for him to come to me l. He’s sending brief communication but there is clear avoidance to having a conversation. How can someone say I love you but your actions do not align.
Walk. Away.
I would explain and be ready to walk away. He isn't willing to do the mature work if a relationship.
His words need to align with his actions. If they don’t then it’s your decision to stay or leave.
Go by their actions and not their words. Love is a verb. He should be showing you he loves you and not just telling you.
He can love you... but not In a romantic way
Nah I don't think so and that about because of past relationships I don't think so because people that have been through it they already know what the outcome is going to be and another thing is if a woman or a man is feeling some type of way like I said they already know the signs let a man tell me they need space they can have all the space in the world ain't no coming back from
What the hell is SPACE?
Thank you. You are just an option cause nobody would want to risk losing what they truly love. In the long run you will always feel like you need to prove your worth for the rest of your relationship. Tell yourself the truth.
Is him saying "please leave me alone" the same as asking for space? For context we have known each other for like 10 years and have been on and off again but never in an actual relationship.
He said he didn’t need space anymore and everything was fine and one day mid conversation he completely disappeared but continued watching
My social media . It went from one day to a weak now. I just want an explanation. I’ve known him for 12 years plus , I’m so hurt . I blocked him n everything bc u disappeared but want access to see what I’m doing
What u mean he disappeared? He watch yr stories but don’t reply if u msg him directly? I’ve had them do that before. Sometimes maybe he is going thru something bad or busy at work but usually it means they’re just “not that into” us but don’t wanna hurt our feelings by telling us what’s up. But watch, he will come back trying to hookup eventually. Most of these men are 🤡