Listen to this message. Every part is true. Fight as if it were for your life. Even though you are exhausted and want for nothing but it to end, you must fight. I wrote a letter to my future self. It said, "remember me. Remember all I have been through. Don't forget what I suffered, and don't forgive what was done to me. Fight for me. Win for me." Don't you dare let them beat you down here at the end. Fight with all you have and know they won't be reasonable at all.
I'm in tears right now because i feel exactly this way i want so badly to protect my baby and time and time again this man has shown he is not in this for the best interest of our child nor does he Care and the judge does not see through this. I'm so tired, I've developed chronic pain in my body, went through various tests and treatment nothing is working. I'm so ready to give up...
@@myeshawhitmore609 They really don't mind if hurting you means also hurting the child. Expect to see it. Realize that getting you out of the picture will hurt the child more - as well as the child within you! You need each other and you can't let the narc take that away. They will go scorched earth. Get a good lawyer and take all the help you can get. Be very careful what you do and keep your act straight. Any missteps will be used against you. But I am proof you can do this. Each victory builds strength and each battle builds your power.
@@JR-nm2zu @J R you're right about that. I didn't realize what was going on until i started researching things and found so many videos like this 1! I'm working on getting help for myself and for this battle. Thank you for the encouraging words!
Great video! I was exhausted a few days ago. My court date is approaching. I snapped out of my malaise yesterday and a calmness came over me. This video was affirming. I am at peace and standing for principles. The outcome is less important. We have to stand up against the monster. Tip #1 is Anti-Fear. Do not be afraid.
In my experience, the biggest problem is that the court system is very easily manipulated to enable a narcissist to continue their ridiculousness and abuse. It actually supports them to do so , at a great cost, and huge waste of time. It is an extremely unintelligent system.
I agree. If only they could develop a safety net screening for victims. It will never happen so the answer is to concentrate on your healing and flip the script
1. Emotional stability 2. Don't diagnose directly that he is narcissistic 3. Have no mercy 4. Don't make eye contact with narcissistic 5. Don't accept any deal outside of court from him
You've saved my life with this video... today I was about to end it and give up.... Thank you Mel 😊 💓 truly thank you. You have given me hope my abuse has been on going for 23 yrs ... I left him 9 yrs ago and he's still abusing me via the courts... I will never give up I will go within and I'm doing the 3 keys 🔑 with you all on Friday... I've no money nothing he took it all and is now trying to take my babies.... the free help is very very special to me and I truly owe you my life ♥ ❤ my sister from another xxx
Hi. Sorry to hear your troubles, reminded me of myself, 23 years in, left him 7 years ago, now in court, took all the money, I'm going into debt to pay lawyer, I have to or he will eat me.
@@kathrynwhite2213 you know in an odd way - they helped me. I learned how to fight, how to stand up for myself, to have boundaries, and most of all I am closer to Jesus Christ, the Father and the awesome, and most beautiful Holy Spirit than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Jesus said he would manifest himself to us so I took him at his word and he did. Through all the hell they put me through (still do) I uncovered the abuse the psychos that raised me put me through. NOW I know the truth and now I am free. I am hurt beyond what these mere words can say but I am free. I still Iove and I love more deeply than ever so their narc games failed because I have love. That is the one thing they will never have ...... now I pity them.
I wish I had seen this a month ago, what a horrible experience I went through, I had no idea how far the narcissist will go to terrorize someone in court
I just had a court hearing this Monday!! Not the first and you are probably correct in saying not the last!! Practice that tough poker face in the mirror!! I smile when I am nervous. “Toughen the hell up! “ Love it!! Go in there and kick some arse!!!! Luckily, right now my court is holding telephonic hearings. And you have to mute when the other person is speaking. Thank goodness!! I was laughing so dang hard!! He accused me of stealing ROCKS from his property AND WALKING PAST HIS GOUSE 7-10 times per day! I actually was laughing when I spoke to the judge and said “your honor, I wish I could walk that much!! I would be nice and skinny by now!” He was CRYING to the judge BEGGING for the restraining order! 😂 yes! Practice your statement in front of the mirror. Before I gave my statement, I asked the judge if there was anyone I. The room with him. He only said yes so I assumed his sister was there. I gave a blow by blow of the events that occurred leading up to the order that he asked for against me. We had make up sex! Don’t do that ladies!! He was probably seeing his next victim while we were intimate!! Guess who else was In The room!! HER!! His next victim!!! So now she knows the blow by blow truth!! Of what happened when he was probably intimate with her too!! Yes, get legal help anytime you get a legal order against you, if you have a lawyer already. The lawyer may take 10 minutes in the phone coaching you and not charge you if you already have a rapport with him/her. You do need a will, etc. and possibly a divorce, etc. so better to get a personal lawyer sooner than later anyway. You really don’t have to work too hard ladies besides toughen the hell up and practice the poker face in the mirror and speak your truth, because the narcissist usually throws himself under the bus like a professional!! The judge could hear how crazy and untruthful he was!! Nothing gets a narcissist angry more than losing a fight he tried to start!! Here is your day to shine ladies!! 🌟 💃💫 🎉Keep the faith!! The judge dropped the restraining order. Iw!! Final word to the wise!! Do NOT try to make up and talk it out maturely! They are constitutionally incapable! They will continue to manipulate and lie to you and use and abuse you! And your best supporters will not want to help you get out of the next jam you get i with this guys, which I can tell you is guaranteed! We made a pact to not get the law involved and he went straight to court while we were being intimate! Huh?! Yeah! Crazy! Insanity!! He lives right behind me!! Is the worst part with his sister/co-conspirator living next door to him! I will no longer walk in the park not even to go get my mail!! I think he is obsessed with me and I can’t trust him..so I will have to watch my back for God only knows how long! Hang in there. Be strong and good will overcome evil! Thank you Melanie for this very important topic! And fir letting me share my story.
Well, dear hjf2bme. I just came back from court today and it was horrible and horrific and everything nasty that one could imagine that could take place in court dealing with a narcissist. I have to admit that I was not completely prepared even though I thought I was. Wow, they sure can get nasty and I feel very bad for you but there are better days coming for all of us. Please continue listening to Melanie because her words are of such a great benefit for all of us. I sincerely hope that the next time you have to face this creature that things will be better for you! 🙏🙏🙏⚖️
Wow, thank you so much for this video. I had a court experience for custody for my 3yrl little girl. At that time I had very bad advice from my lawyer and made the mistake of being to nice and accept deals with the narcissist father. Now I’m almost done with narp program and changed lawyer. I feel so much prepared and yes it is a war, I know my enemy and I am almost looking forward to go to court and speak loud and calm and show the narcissist that I know the truth and what a lioness I became thanks to you Melanie and Narp programm that was such a big help on this crazy journey of battles. I feel confident and have faith in divine justice. I made a pact with myself and will never leave my inner being again. Peace out to all and thanks again Melanie 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🥰🥰🥰
You're advice is valuable. You're so amazing! I love your delivery! I love yoyr attitude! Fantastic questions Great comebacks! Motivates and pumps me up! I needed this. I am so guilty of feeling sorry for the narc and start believing he wasn't that bad and I'm not perfect too. There's 2 sides to a story....NO! He was and still is an insidious monster. I hate this animosity and all the negativey he brews. It's insanity! Thank you for all of the advice, strength, and the encouragement . After 22 years of receiving every possible kind of abuse imaginable. It stops now! I got out. But he trapped my kids. I'm ready to represent myself with dignity, courage and inner strength for my kids and myself.
It was already torture enough being married to a psychopath narcissist But going through the divorce was a nightmare. He showed no mercy . He showed his true colors with his diabolical sadistic vengeance And I learned to never trust any negotiations with a trap at the end There was zero reasoning cooperation or logical negotiations with him I would show him grace and understanding and he would retaliate with malice and spite He would invent his delusional conspiracy theories and pathological lies I would have to constantly address and defend with him intentionally prolonging and running up the legal fees of the divorce He went as low as demanding that I pay him for my college loan from 35 years prior that I paid the majority of it off myself with the income from my career Before I met him He fought to take away a timeshare money pit he never wanted to start with And hated that we had it He was only fighting to get it away from me because it had sentimental value to me as it was my deceased parents And he fought to get my son and I out of my home when there was absolutely no reason to do it other than his evil vindictiveness And hurting my son having to move out of the neighborhood and friends he grew up with and his school nearby I never truly realized until going through the divorce that I married my worst enemy, truly my worst nightmare that came true
New sub here! I want to thank you for this video and let you know how much this helped me with my win in court today. I was truly a diving intervention. You got me all the way together and I was fully prepared to slay that demon. The no eye contact was VITAL to dismantle him and protect me from intimidation. I’ve been talking about you all day. May you continue to be blessed and thrive. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dear Melanie. It was very good to listen to you this evening. I just came back from a horrific time at a court deposition with my soon to be ex narcissistic partner. She did everything but start up a bus to throw me under. 🚍 She smeared me, she berated me, she belittled me, she accused me of things that were not true, she was nasty, she lied and the entire thing was just awful. I thought I was prepared but I wasn’t prepared enough. there are more sessions in court coming up.I hope I can be better balanced and able to be more within rather than having painful gut wrenching feelings. What you spoke of today is what I need to work on and become stronger. I will share this tonight with some of the people from NARP.. thank you so much for this tonight and also for your program which is so good and helpful. ❤️🙏🕊⚖️🦋❤️🦋❤️
@Andre Noble thank you for all your thoughts and good advice. I am in the throes of some of the nastiest stuff I’ve ever been through in my life with my soon to be ex marital partner who is a full-blown narcissist. Melanie has been very helpful and I’ve been taking her courses for sometime and it is helping me to reestablish my innergyroscope which has been out of kilter for way too long. Thank you for your thoughts. I wish you the very best in all future endeavors!
@@peterknyk1942 - I see you in your journey. I will soon pick up on Melanie's course as I head towards trial (currently on hold due to costs and Covid: the double C's!) in an effort to relocate to my home country with my only child (who was born here in the U.S). My Narc used an online smear campaign (months long, shared hundreds of times across social, inviting judgements from strangers saying how horrendous I am as a mother, that I should be murdered, among much such slur) using my name and false claims I had kidnapped our child when we were visiting my home country last year. He'd signed an affidavit allowing that travel. Pre-purchased/round-trip flights were booked. I had the audacity to email him asking if he would mediate to discuss a future for our daughter in my home country (better, safer, more prosperous, etc than the U.S South) which he claimed was proof of international kidnapping. Heck, he won't even allow her to have dual citizenship (which gives so much to her and takes nothing from him). He obtained an emergency order whyile we were still (legally) traveling by repeatedly lying under Oath. We've been through the depositions. The extensive Discoveries. I've paid all I can to get to this point and am in a holding pattern, figuring out finances to return. Peter: I SEE YOU and feel confident that with the support of this program and community - we will win. You are certainly not alone!
@@TwixTheKat hello! The dilemma that you’re in does not sound good! It’s always so sad to hear the things that others are going through with these narcissistic creatures. I am very thankful that we have each other to commiserate with and that we are able to give each other support. Tonight I am still reeling from yesterday. It was so difficult to listen to her slandering me and not really caring at all that what she’s saying could be really harmful to another. It’s pretty deflating! I feel like I really wasted a portion of my life with her but in reality I think I am a better human being as a result of it. That’s the best approach that I can take and when I use that approach I feel better. And that’s important after feeling horrible for so long. I so wish you resolution. It sounds like what you’re going through is hell and I feel very bad for you. Thank you so much for writing to me. I really appreciate it! Take care of yourself and if you want to talk anymore I’m always here! ❤️🙏🏻🕊❤️
@@peterknyk1942 it's extremely deflating. You're in there: taking punches. I call learning about this personality type (and how to manage ourselves when we are forced to endure them): 'aggressive self care'. Learn in here: then practice. It takes great strength and discipline. You are still likely in a little shock so be kind to your body and soul! Again: I see you and wish you the best in your 'recovery'.
Excellent advice! This reminds me of something a very good friend of mine told me, by the way he was older than me. His definition of a real man. A real man is fair Yet firm, gentle Yet strong, and a real man is Ruthless! Not because he's cruel or sadistic but because his enemies are Ruthless! All that mercy compassion empathy goes right out the window! But without being hateful or fearful BUT BY BEING CALM like nothing is happening even though something is happening That's where real strength comes from by being CALM! Great video! THANKS MTE!!!👍👍👍
Thank you so much. I’ve just left the narc 4 weeks ago after years of extensive sexual physical financial abuse and control. Immediately after I left him he took out an AVO on me and a court order against me for damaging property etc. I have no idea what I’ve done and I’m already bombarded by the police. I live in fear of reporting the abuse and I live in fear of being arrested for something I didn’t do. Trying to work up the courage to even file something to recover the million dollars he’s borrowed from me …
Thank you for this video, Melanie! After being divorced 3 1/2 years, my ex filed a request for order to "set aside" or "amend" the judgment of dissolution. All spousal support has been suspended, though the government enforcement program is still taking funds from him and holding it - but I haven't received any of it since August. I'm in the U.S. and have been watching the election craziness on the alternate news media stations. I'm loving Sydney Powell and Lin Wood - very calm, well-prepared. The Rocky analogy is perfect! Let the narcissist throw himself under the bus!. My ex has already said a few absolutely crazy things in our case reviews - and his submitted statement to back up his request for order is absolutely full of lies. I am a compassionate person - but none of it is going to him any more! He was okay to cut off my income cold turkey - so I'm rolling up my sleeves and going in to win! I'm going to watch this video again on court day.
Thanks all for these comments, I'm in family court in 3 weeks, I have to be ruthless, calm but ruthless. Luckily I'm past the intense fear now. This man psychologically, sexually and physically abused me but I'm strong, he won't beat me. I will destroy him with the truth .
There is hope ❤ 3 years of court abuse is almost over. one more hoop to jump through. bizzare that's they've been allowed to drag this torture of not knowing out so long, kids haven't seen their dad for years because he won't comply, but the court keeps giving him chances. But just one more and I just keep standing up for my children, their normalcy, their risk of being traumatized and he will dig his own hole. it's all gonna be okay. if youre out there and you're feeling terrified like me, scared of your abuser still. take a deep breath, call a therapist as soon as you can, and remember things CAN and WILL go well! Best wishes to you, wipe those tears, hydrate, and get some good rest even if its just a cat nap 💕
Awesome advice and timely for me I was wondering why my narcissist wanted to waste so much money and refuse to accept a generous offer. You explain it so well. So empowering. Thankyou
My younger sister is a narcissist, blaming me for things I have not done as I'm a kind nature person I know now how I'm a target, but when you said a narcissist has a dark soul, I believe this is exactly so, as she tried her best to destroy my marriage as my wife doesn't like her, but 20 + years and two kids later we are good!
My God you have no idea what me and my child have been through for 11 years and finally we have a court date dealing with cluster B. Npd, bpd, bps, antisocial, psychopath...
What I need is to change my personality since I was raised by one. The good news is that I stopped to have any contact with him about 10 years prior to his death and I did not go at his funerals and this, without knowing that he was a narcissist but he certainly was.
Not change your personality, just your conditioning. Try the narp program. It’s working for me in unbelievable ways. I have finally found my self, not the people pleaser desperately looking for safety.
This is exactly my life and everything that has and is happening to me. It’s a shame I wasn’t too tough the last 2 years and I would of been much better off.
My Narcissist posted she was going to ruin me emotionally, financially, and professionally ... over two years ago. And she continues posting her lies. She actually riled enough people up one threatened to shoot me! I complained about that post and Farcebook took that whole thread down. She is reposting, more than a year later..... she was stupid enough to post that she was unlawfully in my house. She took it down, but hey, screenshots and Onedrive ... and phoning my bosses. She is off her rocker. Is posting something like this just feeding her? She is obviously ghosting me.
Hi Elizabeth. Thank you for reaching out sweetheart. This article can help to clarify this and answer your question. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/clarifying-no-contact-the-common-pitfalls-that-keep-us-hooked/ Going No Contact with a narcissist is as much about our emotional states and attachments as it is 'physical'. Please come into my free healing webinar melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar if you feel drawn to to understand more and how you can heal to release the traumas that keep you susceptible. I hope this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
Thank goodness for screenshots, eh @ElizabethJames? I have several he removed from social media which will ultimately bury him at trial. Oh, and those text messages proving (repeatedly) that he lied under oath. Good for you.
Thank you so much for your responses. I dropped by the site to take my comment down if there were no response. I never would have thought people were like the extreme and overt narcissist, until I had the misfortune - or fortune? - to run into one. It has lead to awful experiences and "awe" - ful experiences. And even a few weirdly funny and ironic ones. I have found over time that I am nowhere near as emotionally involved. I at least like to think I observe rather than absorb. I feel it is wise to observe somewhat, do find it frustrating, more so in the past, when people would believe everything they hear. It seemed. Unfortunately with my job it is emphasized by the governing body to get ANYTHING remotely negative off social media, yet they do not offer legal support! So, whatever. Initially with the last posting, which I expected earlier, I felt dissociated, then shamed then thought, "whadda pack of lies! Oh well. Whatever." And I was really surprised she was still publically clinging to it. I heard on one podcast a prediction there would be more negative poking with boredom from the pandemic. I was somewhat curious if this would actually happen. Almost like betting on a horse race if it would or not in this case. I did what I could do in the past in other areas, including legal. The final lawyer involved got very very frustrated with the narc and ended up blurting out that the woman had no respect for the law! It could have been worse and I count my blessings. The phrase "My Narcissist" reminds me of the old "my little pony" commercials when ppl say "my Narc," lol, because it seems to me it can be rather "our little pony" as it seems to me the Narc often has more than his or her "little target" (never mistake a target for a victim). And sometimes they seem like one trick ponies. Oh well, to each her own. Set the herd free. Anyway, excellent advice. I think it is important to at least for a short time honour the pain, confusion, grief, and maybe? old feelings of believing it is all my fault and how could this have happened, how could I have been so blind and stupid, ?groomed, then pray and set it free. I have encountered positive people, including a few who just go along his or her business and do not give the sick person credence.
Hi Mel. I've just enrolled in NARP. I'm Australian living in the U.S. When home last year with my child for 2 months staying with my extended, loving family (after losing my job and house in the U.S ) I realised the Aus had so much more to offer for my child than the struggle in the U.S (in a poor, Southern state with no family and few job prospects). I emailed my ex (shared custody because I didn't seek more in divorce because I was weak, then) to ask for mediation to discuss a future in Aus. He said "no" of course, but then launched a GoFundMe campaign using my name, accusing me of kidnapping. I was traveling on return flights: legally. I had a signed/stamped affidavit allowing the trip. He knew our location and contacts. He lied under oath in our absence and obtained an emergency order. He spread his online smear campaign across several social platforms inviting opinion/vitriol from what I call "subscribers" (flying monkeys) to his message. One saying I should be murdered. All with judgements of what an horrendous mother I am. Covid and cost has halted proceeding to court for my formal application to relocate. I'm all-in to give me the inspiration to re-direct, gather myself and find funds and get back to trial. And come home. Thank you for this video.
Dearest Mel I wish I had been able to know this 30 years ago when I took a doctor to court for damaging my body with a lippes loop pushed through into the stomach lining where I lost a baby I did not know I was carrying. I attracted a lawyer who was hopeless and a gynaecologist who was on the board of the lippes loop manufacture. The doctor in question had 12 doctors in his defence from all over the country to support him. My lawyer backed out another barrister took over who was helpful but by this time it was too late. 8 days in court humiliation after humiliation and I lost. Yes the gynaecologist was blacklisted by my barrister but I was deeply humiliated and traumatised. Having done NARP for the last two and half years I understand that I was looking at my within in that courtroom all the lies, betrayal and lack of support came from the family I was raised in and only now after much searching and healing has it come down to truly healing myself. Thank you my love for bringing this to me, to us all. Much strength and courage and love to you always. Reena xxx
Aww Reena, that is so heartbreaking and such a painful ordeal to have been through. I'm so pleased that NARP has helped you to heal this. Love to you dear Soul xoxox
Thanku mam.after listening to last point i decide to quit the case bcz i have wasted 2 yrs thinking someday he will give away d alimony one day which was a trick.u made made a survivor 5 yrs back 🙏🙏
Love this video... Love the "false self" video Melaine that got me through so many dark times... Totally shredded the narcissist, so much passion. You're a rockstar and its so true. So ya... I submitted a 128pg document to the children's Aid prelude to the custody battle ... It was a summary of our relationship and HER upbringing, definitions and basically a total retro spec of my recovery process complete with my own therapeutic validation from my therapist i reached out too ... So we have a motion in place to get these documents from the Children's Aid into the custody court proceedings... I will never say the word Narcissist in court... Maybe cluster B... SHE has a severe Traumatic Brain Injury that's is just another nail in her coffin. So ya... I set the dinner table, no deals, it's about my girl 1yr 10mth old who apparently calls my ex's new boyfriend "Dad", which by the way, SHE posted on social media 2 wks after leaving me with a domestic violence charge she was in a relationship with him... As if, how stupid is that. My day in court is going to be satisfying. That's narc injury to the max.
I didn’t say the word narcissist in court either. 128 pages makes me feel better! I was beating myself up for not being concise!! We have to tell the judge every graphic detail possible! Remember to keep a journal of dates and incidents and what was said. Keep your camera on photo and or record when you HAVE to be near the narc!!
@@hjf2bme anything less than 50/50 custody is just going to be me battling parental alienation with my child, Pick and drop is at the local police detachment... Here's hoping thats the jump off point when said and done. 50/50 is just what's left on the bone which I'm going to gobble up giving my child unconditional love and education that she my daughter has choice in life. I'll pick that bone clean in the years to come.
This my experience which is still unraveling. You can fight differently in the future. Your children are worth it. You be carthatic until you're ready to flush that toilet. Message me if you want a copy. I made 7... I'm going to my Members of Parliament if i don't like the outcome. You never stop fighting.... EVER. Especially if you don't want your children to have the same sentence that you lived with your ex. Its your responsibility as a parent to protect your childs empathic abilities and their self sustaining future free from the co-DEPENCY of your ex that as we speak. My kid is almost 2 and she still can't talk. Ive seen her 3 hours in the last 11 months through supervised access... That's one crazy narc I'm dealing with.
@@philsee1287 when I called for divorce my ex became the father of the year. They’ve seen the real truth over the years, tho. If you have good stuff against him, I would fight for sole custody with supervised visits! I just read in another post that a father told his 7 year old daughter he is dieing!
@@hjf2bme I'm a he... I'm Philip. My ex is a she. I'm the youngest from a wonderful family. I want to be you when my daughter is 7 yrs old. Good on you just being a good mom! I'll bet you don't even recognize yourself today, compared to pre divorce i mean. I feel your power in your words. I'm proud of you. Keep given'r cause there's nothing else to do.
Your tips are very helpful I've realized just how high conflict he truly is and will stoop to any level to have the upper hand it has come to my attention in the past in court I'm fixing for trail. Any advice for how to prepare for divorce proceedings the custody is stuck in shared for now It's not good tho. I've blocked him I've gone no contact after threats of custody and unfortunately more lies I blocked him and the gf It's for the best. They don't play fair I know that they have no remorse for their actions. There's no negotiations glad my lawyer finally saw the light after months and months of nothing signed I knew I was going to trail. I want what's best by these kids It's war I am exhausted. Make no eye contact a good tip I hope he hangs himself in court. Their trying to manipulate the system and disarm you never let your guard down. Mine said he wanted to co parent bs mean time smear campaign to kids and his gf and family and trying to steal the furniture I'm like Nope your not. She should talk about parrarell parenting.
Here's an update I'm going to court against him actually his lawyer only showed on zoom and I requested a postponement no lawyer still I need one that understands abuse and I'm right to have an attorney I also have the documents that the judge asked for didn't have it there I've organized myself I go back Friday meeting with a new lawyer today. Long story his Sleeze lawyer went as far to say I was abusive for asking for another postponement there's documents never filed for me to get divorced against this posiopath he's all of the above anyways first judge told off his lawyer he was trying to pick fights towards myself. I'm going to have to brace myself his lawyer also lied about his client going through the communication workshop I went through it ,but I'm the victim of abuse so there's no contact or co parenting I spoke out about being a victim. He was trying to do something illegal the lawyer only giving 10 days without myself or the children without a lawyer the judge was like you can't do that and he kept interrupting the judge she called him on his bs and lies even his lawyer is lying they will both purjy themselves I need to brace myself not react ,but it shows they only care about the money not the kids at all I knew they didn't and now the court sees it. His lawyer also tried to intimidate and bully me because I have no lawyer he's the worst lawyer I've ever seen unprofessional and unethical I wouldn't hire someone like that. Their not going to win I just need to keep calm it's a personal attack on myself when I go to trail I'm pressing charges and hopefully my lawyer will contact the bar against him you'll blankly lie for client that's illegal I don't know much about law ,but I know that wasn't right 😔. I'm glad the 2 woman judges figured what he was doing towards myself wish me luck on Friday going to see the judge at 9 and have the documents she asked for the truth will come out that he's not what he says. I never lied I told the truth about everything as best to my knowledge.
Update I have a new lawyer long story about dealings 4 yrs plus no child support manipulating the system our poor kids nothing signed there's no playing fair I'm going before a judge to finalize my divorce and the fact he's straight has lied it is war I'm exhausted I'm close I've got my boxing gloves on I want to move forward after this. I ignored his lawyer out bursts last time I had no lawyer was on time waiting in person the other party was on zoom and his client didn't show up last 3 times so many games nothing signed they won't negotiate so many games I trust nothing I changed my number 3 times I won't give out my number again not ever. I only want what's best by our children this isn't it. He's trying to go for full custody he's doing a bunch of things he shouldn't be doing its unbelievable what he's getting away with with. Thanks again for your tips watch your vids often enough
It feels so different when i am going thru this with my family for custody of my dementia dad for conservatorship. I continue to NARP & ESC. 1 siblings husband has contested my dads will. It is confusing but i believe as long as i teach my other siblings the principles of energy thru prayer and christian interpretation by scriptures the truth of what is. So within so without
Agree when we go to court I turn my back will not look at him. Pray we have trail Dec 9th judge is trying to wrap up my case finally after 16 months. Hope to get him out if our lives hope judge keeps supervised visitation
I need advice I'm going to trail against him I can prove hes lying my only problem is I don't well with bullying and intimidation,but I have been fighting back hes saying I made up false allegations against him I never did I spoke the truth I can prove I bought most of the furniture myself before the marriage. I can prove his actions don't match his words I'm afraid of him turning the court room into a circus. I wish I could have counselor in court I'm the victim of abuse It's very difficult I'm very drained by this I know what he is I haven't diagnosed his personality. I can prove he's a pathological liar. I wish u could go with me to court. I don't feel sorry for him I feel sorry for the next victim not him I won't let my guard down I have texts between him and myself and his gf against me threatened custody were stuck in shared for now. She's right there's no playing fair I see that after all this time. How many yrs do I need against him is my question. No eye contact I'll try my best ignore interesting speak directly to the judge. I need him to hang himself in court I might have enough nothing outside of court. She's right my lawyer wanted to negotiate and yeah no they didn't play fair I'm going to trail. Your so right about many things I'm going through at the moment thank u so much for the advice 💜
Hi Massimo, these resources might interest you: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-to-do-when-youre-alienated-from-your-child/ facebook.com/MelToniaEvans/photos/if-you-are-alienated-from-your-child-andor-their-children-my-heart-goes-out-to-y/10156012757712252/ Love and blessings xoxox
I go to court next month, I’ve been to court twice in the past month & I have had to look at the opposing counsel while testifying because his placement is directly in front of me- why is it bad to look at them when speaking?
I am just about to have a lawyer hearing about custody of my children ,she is working off the books( so really no taxed income) how can I win this I've got a job (chef)
Hi Mel, I’ve been working on Narp diligently. I thought that my healing and me moving on and focusing on myself would repell him but it’s actually made him angry and thrown more poop at more. Is this common ? Do I just keep healing and sooner or later he will give up? Thx
My goes out to you sweetheart I know how difficult this can be...The modules are where your true freedom lies hun, keeping turning inwards and releasing the trauma, as once there is nothing for the narcissist to feed off of, he will leave. Are you apart of the NARP forum hun? Love and blessings to you. xoxox
DON'T be manipulated! It doesn't matter what she thinks and says - that's only to control you. It's what YOU think and say and feel about you that counts. xoxox
Listen to this message. Every part is true. Fight as if it were for your life. Even though you are exhausted and want for nothing but it to end, you must fight. I wrote a letter to my future self. It said, "remember me. Remember all I have been through. Don't forget what I suffered, and don't forgive what was done to me. Fight for me. Win for me." Don't you dare let them beat you down here at the end. Fight with all you have and know they won't be reasonable at all.
😩😩😩😩😩THIS!!
Made me smile. You know that smile you get when you know victory is close.
I'm in tears right now because i feel exactly this way i want so badly to protect my baby and time and time again this man has shown he is not in this for the best interest of our child nor does he Care and the judge does not see through this. I'm so tired, I've developed chronic pain in my body, went through various tests and treatment nothing is working. I'm so ready to give up...
@@myeshawhitmore609 They really don't mind if hurting you means also hurting the child. Expect to see it. Realize that getting you out of the picture will hurt the child more - as well as the child within you! You need each other and you can't let the narc take that away. They will go scorched earth. Get a good lawyer and take all the help you can get. Be very careful what you do and keep your act straight. Any missteps will be used against you. But I am proof you can do this. Each victory builds strength and each battle builds your power.
@@JR-nm2zu @J R you're right about that. I didn't realize what was going on until i started researching things and found so many videos like this 1! I'm working on getting help for myself and for this battle. Thank you for the encouraging words!
Great video! I was exhausted a few days ago. My court date is approaching. I snapped out of my malaise yesterday and a calmness came over me. This video was affirming. I am at peace and standing for principles. The outcome is less important. We have to stand up against the monster. Tip #1 is Anti-Fear. Do not be afraid.
In my experience, the biggest problem is that the court system is very easily manipulated to enable a narcissist to continue their ridiculousness and abuse. It actually supports them to do so , at a great cost, and huge waste of time. It is an extremely unintelligent system.
I agree. If only they could develop a safety net screening for victims. It will never happen so the answer is to concentrate on your healing and flip the script
Courts should receive formal training in recognition of narcissistic behaviour and how to deal with it.
1. Emotional stability
2. Don't diagnose directly that he is narcissistic
3. Have no mercy
4. Don't make eye contact with narcissistic
5. Don't accept any deal outside of court from him
6. I would add (when in court): Don´t underestimate them, both when it comes to viciousness and mercilessness.
Im going to family court this morning with my narc wife and this has helped me 1000%
You've saved my life with this video... today I was about to end it and give up.... Thank you Mel 😊 💓 truly thank you. You have given me hope my abuse has been on going for 23 yrs ... I left him 9 yrs ago and he's still abusing me via the courts... I will never give up I will go within and I'm doing the 3 keys 🔑 with you all on Friday... I've no money nothing he took it all and is now trying to take my babies.... the free help is very very special to me and I truly owe you my life ♥ ❤ my sister from another xxx
Hi. Sorry to hear your troubles, reminded me of myself, 23 years in, left him 7 years ago, now in court, took all the money, I'm going into debt to pay lawyer, I have to or he will eat me.
@@musicandeye keep strong my friend. Try to focus on healing ✨ yourself its the only way xxx
My heart goes out to all of you.
It’s a nightmare
@@marylinn My heart goes out to anyone who is being subjected to a narcissist.
@@kathrynwhite2213 you know in an odd way - they helped me. I learned how to fight, how to stand up for myself, to have boundaries, and most of all I am closer to Jesus Christ, the Father and the awesome, and most beautiful Holy Spirit than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Jesus said he would manifest himself to us so I took him at his word and he did. Through all the hell they put me through (still do) I uncovered the abuse the psychos that raised me put me through. NOW I know the truth and now I am free. I am hurt beyond what these mere words can say but I am free. I still Iove and I love more deeply than ever so their narc games failed because I have love. That is the one thing they will never have ...... now I pity them.
@@marylinn That's wonderful. Narcissists are all around us. Please stay with God, and The Power of Love, and I will, too. ❤️
@@peterknyk1942 💗💗💗💗
I wish I had seen this a month ago, what a horrible experience I went through, I had no idea how far the narcissist will go to terrorize someone in court
Big hugs Zoon - it is awful xoxo
I just had a court hearing this Monday!! Not the first and you are probably correct in saying not the last!! Practice that tough poker face in the mirror!! I smile when I am nervous. “Toughen the hell up! “ Love it!! Go in there and kick some arse!!!! Luckily, right now my court is holding telephonic hearings. And you have to mute when the other person is speaking. Thank goodness!! I was laughing so dang hard!! He accused me of stealing ROCKS from his property AND WALKING PAST HIS GOUSE 7-10 times per day! I actually was laughing when I spoke to the judge and said “your honor, I wish I could walk that much!! I would be nice and skinny by now!” He was CRYING to the judge BEGGING for the restraining order! 😂 yes! Practice your statement in front of the mirror. Before I gave my statement, I asked the judge if there was anyone I. The room with him. He only said yes so I assumed his sister was there. I gave a blow by blow of the events that occurred leading up to the order that he asked for against me. We had make up sex! Don’t do that ladies!! He was probably seeing his next victim while we were intimate!! Guess who else was In The room!! HER!! His next victim!!! So now she knows the blow by blow truth!! Of what happened when he was probably intimate with her too!! Yes, get legal help anytime you get a legal order against you, if you have a lawyer already. The lawyer may take 10 minutes in the phone coaching you and not charge you if you already have a rapport with him/her. You do need a will, etc. and possibly a divorce, etc. so better to get a personal lawyer sooner than later anyway. You really don’t have to work too hard ladies besides toughen the hell up and practice the poker face in the mirror and speak your truth, because the narcissist usually throws himself under the bus like a professional!! The judge could hear how crazy and untruthful he was!! Nothing gets a narcissist angry more than losing a fight he tried to start!! Here is your day to shine ladies!! 🌟 💃💫 🎉Keep the faith!! The judge dropped the restraining order. Iw!! Final word to the wise!! Do NOT try to make up and talk it out maturely! They are constitutionally incapable! They will continue to manipulate and lie to you and use and abuse you! And your best supporters will not want to help you get out of the next jam you get i with this guys, which I can tell you is guaranteed! We made a pact to not get the law involved and he went straight to court while we were being intimate! Huh?! Yeah! Crazy! Insanity!! He lives right behind me!! Is the worst part with his sister/co-conspirator living next door to him! I will no longer walk in the park not even to go get my mail!! I think he is obsessed with me and I can’t trust him..so I will have to watch my back for God only knows how long! Hang in there. Be strong and good will overcome evil! Thank you Melanie for this very important topic! And fir letting me share my story.
Well, dear hjf2bme. I just came back from court today and it was horrible and horrific and everything nasty that one could imagine that could take place in court dealing with a narcissist. I have to admit that I was not completely prepared even though I thought I was. Wow, they sure can get nasty and I feel very bad for you but there are better days coming for all of us. Please continue listening to Melanie because her words are of such a great benefit for all of us. I sincerely hope that the next time you have to face this creature that things will be better for you! 🙏🙏🙏⚖️
Wow, thank you so much for this video. I had a court experience for custody for my 3yrl little girl. At that time I had very bad advice from my lawyer and made the mistake of being to nice and accept deals with the narcissist father. Now I’m almost done with narp program and changed lawyer. I feel so much prepared and yes it is a war, I know my enemy and I am almost looking forward to go to court and speak loud and calm and show the narcissist that I know the truth and what a lioness I became thanks to you Melanie and Narp programm that was such a big help on this crazy journey of battles. I feel confident and have faith in divine justice. I made a pact with myself and will never leave my inner being again. Peace out to all and thanks again Melanie 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🥰🥰🥰
You're advice is valuable. You're so amazing!
I love your delivery! I love yoyr attitude!
Fantastic questions
Great comebacks!
Motivates and pumps me up! I needed this.
I am so guilty of feeling sorry for the narc and start believing he wasn't that bad and I'm not perfect too. There's 2 sides to a story....NO!
He was and still is an insidious monster.
I hate this animosity and all the negativey he brews.
It's insanity!
Thank you for all of the advice, strength, and the encouragement .
After 22 years of receiving every possible kind of abuse imaginable.
It stops now!
I got out. But he trapped my kids.
I'm ready to represent myself with dignity, courage and inner strength for my kids and myself.
It was already torture enough being married to a psychopath narcissist
But going through the divorce was a nightmare. He showed no mercy .
He showed his true colors with his diabolical sadistic vengeance
And I learned to never trust any negotiations with a trap at the end
There was zero reasoning cooperation or logical negotiations with him
I would show him grace and understanding and he would retaliate with malice and spite
He would invent his delusional conspiracy theories and pathological lies
I would have to constantly address and defend with him intentionally prolonging and running up the legal fees of the divorce
He went as low as demanding that I pay him for my college loan from 35 years prior that I paid the majority of it off myself with the income from my career Before I met him
He fought to take away a timeshare money pit he never wanted to start with
And hated that we had it
He was only fighting to get it away from me because it had sentimental value to me as it was my deceased parents
And he fought to get my son and I out of my home when there was absolutely no reason to do it other than his evil vindictiveness
And hurting my son having to move out of the neighborhood and friends he grew up with and his school nearby
I never truly realized until going through the divorce that I married my worst enemy, truly my worst nightmare that came true
So true. They trick you into marriage.
New sub here! I want to thank you for this video and let you know how much this helped me with my win in court today. I was truly a diving intervention. You got me all the way together and I was fully prepared to slay that demon. The no eye contact was VITAL to dismantle him and protect me from intimidation. I’ve been talking about you all day. May you continue to be blessed and thrive. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dear Melanie. It was very good to listen to you this evening. I just came back from a horrific time at a court deposition with my soon to be ex narcissistic partner. She did everything but start up a bus to throw me under. 🚍 She smeared me, she berated me, she belittled me, she accused me of things that were not true, she was nasty, she lied and the entire thing was just awful. I thought I was prepared but I wasn’t prepared enough. there are more sessions in court coming up.I hope I can be better balanced and able to be more within rather than having painful gut wrenching feelings. What you spoke of today is what I need to work on and become stronger. I will share this tonight with some of the people from NARP..
thank you so much for this tonight and also for your program which is so good and helpful. ❤️🙏🕊⚖️🦋❤️🦋❤️
@Andre Noble I wish I would’ve known that years ago because I would never have certainly chosen her to be my marital partner. I was warned!
@Andre Noble thank you for all your thoughts and good advice. I am in the throes of some of the nastiest stuff I’ve ever been through in my life with my soon to be ex marital partner who is a full-blown narcissist. Melanie has been very helpful and I’ve been taking her courses for sometime and it is helping me to reestablish my innergyroscope which has been out of kilter for way too long. Thank you for your thoughts. I wish you the very best in all future endeavors!
@@peterknyk1942 - I see you in your journey. I will soon pick up on Melanie's course as I head towards trial (currently on hold due to costs and Covid: the double C's!) in an effort to relocate to my home country with my only child (who was born here in the U.S). My Narc used an online smear campaign (months long, shared hundreds of times across social, inviting judgements from strangers saying how horrendous I am as a mother, that I should be murdered, among much such slur) using my name and false claims I had kidnapped our child when we were visiting my home country last year. He'd signed an affidavit allowing that travel. Pre-purchased/round-trip flights were booked. I had the audacity to email him asking if he would mediate to discuss a future for our daughter in my home country (better, safer, more prosperous, etc than the U.S South) which he claimed was proof of international kidnapping. Heck, he won't even allow her to have dual citizenship (which gives so much to her and takes nothing from him). He obtained an emergency order whyile we were still (legally) traveling by repeatedly lying under Oath. We've been through the depositions. The extensive Discoveries. I've paid all I can to get to this point and am in a holding pattern, figuring out finances to return. Peter: I SEE YOU and feel confident that with the support of this program and community - we will win. You are certainly not alone!
@@TwixTheKat hello! The dilemma that you’re in does not sound good! It’s always so sad to hear the things that others are going through with these narcissistic creatures.
I am very thankful that we have each other to commiserate with and that we are able to give each other support.
Tonight I am still reeling from yesterday. It was so difficult to listen to her slandering me and not really caring at all that what she’s saying could be really harmful to another. It’s pretty deflating! I feel like I really wasted a portion of my life with her but in reality I think I am a better human being as a result of it. That’s the best approach that I can take and when I use that approach I feel better. And that’s important after feeling horrible for so long.
I so wish you resolution. It sounds like what you’re going through is hell and I feel very bad for you. Thank you so much for writing to me. I really appreciate it! Take care of yourself and if you want to talk anymore I’m always here! ❤️🙏🏻🕊❤️
@@peterknyk1942 it's extremely deflating. You're in there: taking punches. I call learning about this personality type (and how to manage ourselves when we are forced to endure them): 'aggressive self care'. Learn in here: then practice. It takes great strength and discipline. You are still likely in a little shock so be kind to your body and soul! Again: I see you and wish you the best in your 'recovery'.
Excellent advice! This reminds me of something a very good friend of mine told me, by the way he was older than me. His definition of a real man. A real man is fair Yet firm, gentle Yet strong, and a real man is Ruthless! Not because he's cruel or sadistic but because his enemies are Ruthless! All that mercy compassion empathy goes right out the window! But without being hateful or fearful BUT BY BEING CALM like nothing is happening even though something is happening That's where real strength comes from by being CALM! Great video! THANKS MTE!!!👍👍👍
Thank you so much. I’ve just left the narc 4 weeks ago after years of extensive sexual physical financial abuse and control. Immediately after I left him he took out an AVO on me and a court order against me for damaging property etc. I have no idea what I’ve done and I’m already bombarded by the police. I live in fear of reporting the abuse and I live in fear of being arrested for something I didn’t do. Trying to work up the courage to even file something to recover the million dollars he’s borrowed from me …
I SOooo needed to hear this. I am fighting to protect my grandbaby.
Thank you! Going through it now. Court down the road!🙏❤️
Thank you for this video, Melanie! After being divorced 3 1/2 years, my ex filed a request for order to "set aside" or "amend" the judgment of dissolution. All spousal support has been suspended, though the government enforcement program is still taking funds from him and holding it - but I haven't received any of it since August. I'm in the U.S. and have been watching the election craziness on the alternate news media stations. I'm loving Sydney Powell and Lin Wood - very calm, well-prepared. The Rocky analogy is perfect! Let the narcissist throw himself under the bus!. My ex has already said a few absolutely crazy things in our case reviews - and his submitted statement to back up his request for order is absolutely full of lies. I am a compassionate person - but none of it is going to him any more! He was okay to cut off my income cold turkey - so I'm rolling up my sleeves and going in to win!
I'm going to watch this video again on court day.
Brilliant Annie - well done! xoxox
Thanks all for these comments, I'm in family court in 3 weeks, I have to be ruthless, calm but ruthless. Luckily I'm past the intense fear now. This man psychologically, sexually and physically abused me but I'm strong, he won't beat me. I will destroy him with the truth .
There is hope ❤ 3 years of court abuse is almost over. one more hoop to jump through. bizzare that's they've been allowed to drag this torture of not knowing out so long, kids haven't seen their dad for years because he won't comply, but the court keeps giving him chances. But just one more and I just keep standing up for my children, their normalcy, their risk of being traumatized and he will dig his own hole. it's all gonna be okay.
if youre out there and you're feeling terrified like me, scared of your abuser still. take a deep breath, call a therapist as soon as you can, and remember things CAN and WILL go well! Best wishes to you, wipe those tears, hydrate, and get some good rest even if its just a cat nap 💕
These videos are a life line. I am heading towards this battle. I am doing the work. I am going to succeed. Bless you. Bless you all. Thank you.
Awesome advice and timely for me
I was wondering why my narcissist wanted to waste so much money and refuse to accept a generous offer. You explain it so well. So empowering. Thankyou
You are so welcome! xoxox
My younger sister is a narcissist, blaming me for things I have not done as I'm a kind nature person I know now how I'm a target, but when you said a narcissist has a dark soul, I believe this is exactly so, as she tried her best to destroy my marriage as my wife doesn't like her, but 20 + years and two kids later we are good!
Thank you. This is what I needed to hear. 10 years of war so far.
You are so welcome hun. Love and blessings xoxox
My God you have no idea what me and my child have been through for 11 years and finally we have a court date dealing with cluster B. Npd, bpd, bps, antisocial, psychopath...
What I need is to change my personality since I was raised by one. The good news is that I stopped to have any contact with him about 10 years prior to his death and I did not go at his funerals and this, without knowing that he was a narcissist but he certainly was.
Not change your personality, just your conditioning.
Try the narp program. It’s working for me in unbelievable ways. I have finally found my self, not the people pleaser desperately looking for safety.
@@wolfebaby6054 I'm a big girl, I know what I'm talking about but thanks anyway.
@@Chercheure_Indépendante
God bless and all the best ❤️
Thank you for sharing! Super Helpful!💛💛💛
These videos are literally saving my life. You and Rebbecca Zung are my heroes ❤
Thank you for all your knowledge and experiences. You’ve helped me in some of my darkest times. Thank you
It's sad narcissist don't know how to let bygones be bygones. They don't even know the phrase it's not in their vocabulary. 😂
This is exactly my life and everything that has and is happening to me. It’s a shame I wasn’t too tough the last 2 years and I would of been much better off.
My Narcissist posted she was going to ruin me emotionally, financially, and professionally ... over two years ago. And she continues posting her lies. She actually riled enough people up one threatened to shoot me! I complained about that post and Farcebook took that whole thread down. She is reposting, more than a year later..... she was stupid enough to post that she was unlawfully in my house. She took it down, but hey, screenshots and Onedrive ... and phoning my bosses. She is off her rocker.
Is posting something like this just feeding her? She is obviously ghosting me.
Hi Elizabeth. Thank you for reaching out sweetheart. This article can help to clarify this and answer your question. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/clarifying-no-contact-the-common-pitfalls-that-keep-us-hooked/ Going No Contact with a narcissist is as much about our emotional states and attachments as it is 'physical'. Please come into my free healing webinar melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar if you feel drawn to to understand more and how you can heal to release the traumas that keep you susceptible. I hope this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
Thank goodness for screenshots, eh @ElizabethJames? I have several he removed from social media which will ultimately bury him at trial. Oh, and those text messages proving (repeatedly) that he lied under oath. Good for you.
Thank you so much for your responses. I dropped by the site to take my comment down if there were no response.
I never would have thought people were like the extreme and overt narcissist, until I had the misfortune - or fortune? - to run into one. It has lead to awful experiences and "awe" - ful experiences. And even a few weirdly funny and ironic ones.
I have found over time that I am nowhere near as emotionally involved. I at least like to think I observe rather than absorb. I feel it is wise to observe somewhat, do find it frustrating, more so in the past, when people would believe everything they hear. It seemed. Unfortunately with my job it is emphasized by the governing body to get ANYTHING remotely negative off social media, yet they do not offer legal support! So, whatever.
Initially with the last posting, which I expected earlier, I felt dissociated, then shamed then thought, "whadda pack of lies! Oh well. Whatever." And I was really surprised she was still publically clinging to it. I heard on one podcast a prediction there would be more negative poking with boredom from the pandemic. I was somewhat curious if this would actually happen. Almost like betting on a horse race if it would or not in this case.
I did what I could do in the past in other areas, including legal. The final lawyer involved got very very frustrated with the narc and ended up blurting out that the woman had no respect for the law!
It could have been worse and I count my blessings.
The phrase "My Narcissist" reminds me of the old "my little pony" commercials when ppl say "my Narc," lol, because it seems to me it can be rather "our little pony" as it seems to me the Narc often has more than his or her "little target" (never mistake a target for a victim). And sometimes they seem like one trick ponies. Oh well, to each her own. Set the herd free.
Anyway, excellent advice. I think it is important to at least for a short time honour the pain, confusion, grief, and maybe? old feelings of believing it is all my fault and how could this have happened, how could I have been so blind and stupid, ?groomed, then pray and set it free. I have encountered positive people, including a few who just go along his or her business and do not give the sick person credence.
Hi Mel. I've just enrolled in NARP. I'm Australian living in the U.S. When home last year with my child for 2 months staying with my extended, loving family (after losing my job and house in the U.S ) I realised the Aus had so much more to offer for my child than the struggle in the U.S (in a poor, Southern state with no family and few job prospects). I emailed my ex (shared custody because I didn't seek more in divorce because I was weak, then) to ask for mediation to discuss a future in Aus. He said "no" of course, but then launched a GoFundMe campaign using my name, accusing me of kidnapping. I was traveling on return flights: legally. I had a signed/stamped affidavit allowing the trip. He knew our location and contacts. He lied under oath in our absence and obtained an emergency order. He spread his online smear campaign across several social platforms inviting opinion/vitriol from what I call "subscribers" (flying monkeys) to his message. One saying I should be murdered. All with judgements of what an horrendous mother I am. Covid and cost has halted proceeding to court for my formal application to relocate. I'm all-in to give me the inspiration to re-direct, gather myself and find funds and get back to trial. And come home. Thank you for this video.
YESSSSS!! I need this today! Thanks Melanie!
I needed to hear this. Thank you 😊
Dearest Mel I wish I had been able to know this 30 years ago when I took a doctor to court for damaging my body with a lippes loop pushed through into the stomach lining where I lost a baby I did not know I was carrying. I attracted a lawyer who was hopeless and a gynaecologist who was on the board of the lippes loop manufacture. The doctor in question had 12 doctors in his defence from all over the country to support him. My lawyer backed out another barrister took over who was helpful but by this time it was too late. 8 days in court humiliation after humiliation and I lost. Yes the gynaecologist was blacklisted by my barrister but I was deeply humiliated and traumatised. Having done NARP for the last two and half years I understand that I was looking at my within in that courtroom all the lies, betrayal and lack of support came from the family I was raised in and only now after much searching and healing has it come down to truly healing myself. Thank you my love for bringing this to me, to us all. Much strength and courage and love to you always. Reena xxx
Aww Reena, that is so heartbreaking and such a painful ordeal to have been through. I'm so pleased that NARP has helped you to heal this. Love to you dear Soul xoxox
I am so grateful. I am being forced to take my ex back to court he tortures me through my kids and it’s been 11 years. I am going to do your program.
Thanku mam.after listening to last point i decide to quit the case bcz i have wasted 2 yrs thinking someday he will give away d alimony one day which was a trick.u made made a survivor 5 yrs back 🙏🙏
Love this video... Love the "false self" video Melaine that got me through so many dark times... Totally shredded the narcissist, so much passion. You're a rockstar and its so true.
So ya... I submitted a 128pg document to the children's Aid prelude to the custody battle ... It was a summary of our relationship and HER upbringing, definitions and basically a total retro spec of my recovery process complete with my own therapeutic validation from my therapist i reached out too ... So we have a motion in place to get these documents from the Children's Aid into the custody court proceedings... I will never say the word Narcissist in court... Maybe cluster B... SHE has a severe Traumatic Brain Injury that's is just another nail in her coffin. So ya... I set the dinner table, no deals, it's about my girl 1yr 10mth old who apparently calls my ex's new boyfriend "Dad", which by the way, SHE posted on social media 2 wks after leaving me with a domestic violence charge she was in a relationship with him... As if, how stupid is that.
My day in court is going to be satisfying. That's narc injury to the max.
I didn’t say the word narcissist in court either. 128 pages makes me feel better! I was beating myself up for not being concise!! We have to tell the judge every graphic detail possible! Remember to keep a journal of dates and incidents and what was said. Keep your camera on photo and or record when you HAVE to be near the narc!!
@@hjf2bme anything less than 50/50 custody is just going to be me battling parental alienation with my child, Pick and drop is at the local police detachment... Here's hoping thats the jump off point when said and done.
50/50 is just what's left on the bone which I'm going to gobble up giving my child unconditional love and education that she my daughter has choice in life. I'll pick that bone clean in the years to come.
This my experience which is still unraveling. You can fight differently in the future. Your children are worth it. You be carthatic until you're ready to flush that toilet.
Message me if you want a copy. I made 7... I'm going to my Members of Parliament if i don't like the outcome.
You never stop fighting.... EVER. Especially if you don't want your children to have the same sentence that you lived with your ex.
Its your responsibility as a parent to protect your childs empathic abilities and their self sustaining future free from the co-DEPENCY of your ex that as we speak. My kid is almost 2 and she still can't talk. Ive seen her 3 hours in the last 11 months through supervised access... That's one crazy narc I'm dealing with.
@@philsee1287 when I called for divorce my ex became the father of the year. They’ve seen the real truth over the years, tho. If you have good stuff against him, I would fight for sole custody with supervised visits! I just read in another post that a father told his 7 year old daughter he is dieing!
@@hjf2bme I'm a he... I'm Philip. My ex is a she. I'm the youngest from a wonderful family.
I want to be you when my daughter is 7 yrs old. Good on you just being a good mom! I'll bet you don't even recognize yourself today, compared to pre divorce i mean. I feel your power in your words. I'm proud of you.
Keep given'r cause there's nothing else to do.
This is why I waited 🙏
8:00 so true✔️✔️🙏💐
Your tips are very helpful I've realized just how high conflict he truly is and will stoop to any level to have the upper hand it has come to my attention in the past in court I'm fixing for trail. Any advice for how to prepare for divorce proceedings the custody is stuck in shared for now It's not good tho. I've blocked him I've gone no contact after threats of custody and unfortunately more lies I blocked him and the gf It's for the best. They don't play fair I know that they have no remorse for their actions. There's no negotiations glad my lawyer finally saw the light after months and months of nothing signed I knew I was going to trail. I want what's best by these kids It's war I am exhausted. Make no eye contact a good tip I hope he hangs himself in court. Their trying to manipulate the system and disarm you never let your guard down. Mine said he wanted to co parent bs mean time smear campaign to kids and his gf and family and trying to steal the furniture I'm like Nope your not. She should talk about parrarell parenting.
Hun, this resource has some great tips and workbooks as well: th-cam.com/video/oR6CXn63mdo/w-d-xo.html I hope this can help! Love and blessings xoxoxo
Here's an update I'm going to court against him actually his lawyer only showed on zoom and I requested a postponement no lawyer still I need one that understands abuse and I'm right to have an attorney I also have the documents that the judge asked for didn't have it there I've organized myself I go back Friday meeting with a new lawyer today. Long story his Sleeze lawyer went as far to say I was abusive for asking for another postponement there's documents never filed for me to get divorced against this posiopath he's all of the above anyways first judge told off his lawyer he was trying to pick fights towards myself. I'm going to have to brace myself his lawyer also lied about his client going through the communication workshop I went through it ,but I'm the victim of abuse so there's no contact or co parenting I spoke out about being a victim. He was trying to do something illegal the lawyer only giving 10 days without myself or the children without a lawyer the judge was like you can't do that and he kept interrupting the judge she called him on his bs and lies even his lawyer is lying they will both purjy themselves I need to brace myself not react ,but it shows they only care about the money not the kids at all I knew they didn't and now the court sees it. His lawyer also tried to intimidate and bully me because I have no lawyer he's the worst lawyer I've ever seen unprofessional and unethical I wouldn't hire someone like that. Their not going to win I just need to keep calm it's a personal attack on myself when I go to trail I'm pressing charges and hopefully my lawyer will contact the bar against him you'll blankly lie for client that's illegal I don't know much about law ,but I know that wasn't right 😔. I'm glad the 2 woman judges figured what he was doing towards myself wish me luck on Friday going to see the judge at 9 and have the documents she asked for the truth will come out that he's not what he says. I never lied I told the truth about everything as best to my knowledge.
Update I have a new lawyer long story about dealings 4 yrs plus no child support manipulating the system our poor kids nothing signed there's no playing fair I'm going before a judge to finalize my divorce and the fact he's straight has lied it is war I'm exhausted I'm close I've got my boxing gloves on I want to move forward after this. I ignored his lawyer out bursts last time I had no lawyer was on time waiting in person the other party was on zoom and his client didn't show up last 3 times so many games nothing signed they won't negotiate so many games I trust nothing I changed my number 3 times I won't give out my number again not ever. I only want what's best by our children this isn't it. He's trying to go for full custody he's doing a bunch of things he shouldn't be doing its unbelievable what he's getting away with with. Thanks again for your tips watch your vids often enough
It feels so different when i am going thru this with my family for custody of my dementia dad for conservatorship. I continue to NARP & ESC. 1 siblings husband has contested my dads will. It is confusing but i believe as long as i teach my other siblings the principles of energy thru prayer and christian interpretation by scriptures the truth of what is. So within so without
Agree when we go to court I turn my back will not look at him.
Pray we have trail Dec 9th judge is trying to wrap up my case finally after 16 months. Hope to get him out if our lives hope judge keeps supervised visitation
Must be a real court jester circus for the narcissist to play.
This was a GOOD one here ❤️
Thank you so much for this 🙏
Wow I love this video, such great advice.
I need advice I'm going to trail against him I can prove hes lying my only problem is I don't well with bullying and intimidation,but I have been fighting back hes saying I made up false allegations against him I never did I spoke the truth I can prove I bought most of the furniture myself before the marriage. I can prove his actions don't match his words I'm afraid of him turning the court room into a circus. I wish I could have counselor in court I'm the victim of abuse It's very difficult I'm very drained by this I know what he is I haven't diagnosed his personality. I can prove he's a pathological liar. I wish u could go with me to court. I don't feel sorry for him I feel sorry for the next victim not him I won't let my guard down I have texts between him and myself and his gf against me threatened custody were stuck in shared for now. She's right there's no playing fair I see that after all this time. How many yrs do I need against him is my question. No eye contact I'll try my best ignore interesting speak directly to the judge. I need him to hang himself in court I might have enough nothing outside of court. She's right my lawyer wanted to negotiate and yeah no they didn't play fair I'm going to trail. Your so right about many things I'm going through at the moment thank u so much for the advice 💜
I lost my daughter in court last year, I have spent all last years cutting ALL NARC CORDS forever
Wonderful information
Got rid of the arsewipe over 6yrs ago, he ran off and remarried, I am at peace.
Oh shyte, got court in a few days.... gotta get my St Joan of Arc spirit on 👊🇦🇺
Thankyou Mel
❤️❤️❤️❤️
TOPIC... when a narcissist alienates your child.
Hi Massimo, these resources might interest you: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-to-do-when-youre-alienated-from-your-child/
facebook.com/MelToniaEvans/photos/if-you-are-alienated-from-your-child-andor-their-children-my-heart-goes-out-to-y/10156012757712252/
Love and blessings xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans another Topic... how to expose a narcissist in court?
Thankyou so much.
THANK YOU MELANIE.🌹
It's my pleasure Gail xoxo
I go to court next month, I’ve been to court twice in the past month & I have had to look at the opposing counsel while testifying because his placement is directly in front of me- why is it bad to look at them when speaking?
sanks, very appropriate
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
This is awesome and dead on!
I am just about to have a lawyer hearing about custody of my children ,she is working off the books( so really no taxed income) how can I win this I've got a job (chef)
Hi Mel, I’ve been working on Narp diligently. I thought that my healing and me moving on and focusing on myself would repell him but it’s actually made him angry and thrown more poop at more. Is this common ? Do I just keep healing and sooner or later he will give up? Thx
My goes out to you sweetheart I know how difficult this can be...The modules are where your true freedom lies hun, keeping turning inwards and releasing the trauma, as once there is nothing for the narcissist to feed off of, he will leave. Are you apart of the NARP forum hun? Love and blessings to you. xoxox
Sounds a lot t like the law of attraction glad I watched this as I'm in court this Tuesday against my ex
The one I know says not looking at her during one of her rages proves that I am a liar. What do you make of that?
DON'T be manipulated! It doesn't matter what she thinks and says - that's only to control you. It's what YOU think and say and feel about you that counts. xoxox
Is it good to have ur wife and kids taking a psychological and drug test evaluation?
Drop this crap channel and go watch Sam Vaknin.