You really hit the nail on the head here. This is us EGG-ZACKLY! He is 9w1, I am 5w4. We sit side by side in our recliners, watching completely different movies on our tablets, happy to be in each other’s orbit. We each have a private room with a door. If he ignores problems too long I draw on my 4 wing and get pretty darned dramatic-enough to come to some sort of resolution. I asked him to watch this video with me and we both enjoyed it and laughed out loud.
So glad to hear it! And thanks for sharing your perspective + some personal experiences as a 5-9 couple. Always great to get a real life glimpse into how these concepts play out in real life ;)
I'm very much a Type 5, following the characteristics typically associated with this type almost to the letter. A few months ago I went through a breakup and, although I haven't read enough about the enneagram to be able to precisely pinpoint what type my ex-girlfriend is, I'm like 80% confident she is a Type 9. Watching this video, I can say you hit the nail on the head. The "Conflict" segment starting at 7:02, specifically, perfectly encapsulates what we went through and how it slowly deteriorated our relationship, leading to its eventual end. Not once during the 16 months it lasted did we have a heated argument or direct conflict - not even in the breakup itself -, as we strived to try and fix things as rationally as possible, but in the end, it just didn't seem to work out. It's now been about six months, and I still haven't healed from it. I just wish I could have watched this video before, especially the advice about the importance of "fighting". If I had known back then what I've since come to appreciate about myself and others using the Enneagram, maybe - just maybe - things could have been different.
I really appreciate you sharing this heartfelt reflection on your past relationship struggles. I'm sure it will help/resonate with many others in a similar situation. Best wishes on the continued healing journey 🙏
Lol, I'm cracking up so hard - husband's a 5, I'm a 9 - we read all the time, completely different books... And we have multiple libraries, not just one. The only reason we don't have a fireplace is because we live in a tropical country
Loved reading this, thanks so much for sharing! And I guess I gotta come up with a more geographically appropriate symbol than just a fireplace... what would be the tropical equivalent? 🌴
ha... I just started a relationship with a 5, and this already feels pretty true to us! He's so observant and perceptive, and as a more intellectual 9 I feel like I have someone on my level to nerd out with. We're both avid hikers and backpackers so that's pretty reassuring when it comes to a shared hobby that includes a lot of quality time together :) definitely going to need to think through the conflict part a bit more though.
As a 9, I've been really enjoying this recent series of yours! (Also the fact that 9s come first for once - usually we're last because people start at 1.) I'm wondering if you're also going to do the relationship for two type 9s (or two of any of the same time) in a relationship together - I think that would be really fascinating, and "relationship with someone of the same type" doesn't tend to get covered very much for some reason.
Had to give some love to the 9s :) And I decided to skip the dual type combos because my first section is "shared traits" and that'd be redundant, plus I made the Relationship Overview series which I hoped would help dual couples understand their "core themes" if you will. Maybe someday I'll get to the dual types tho!
i'm 5w6 and with a 9w1... we never had conflict. 😅Thanks for trying to put a spotlight on the relationship. Your last statement describes us... big space, doing our own thing but within each other. hahahaha
Thank you for making this video :) I can't agree more on the quality time part. I'm 5w6 and my bf is type 9. Always feel so confused with that unstructured time spent together basically doing nothing and chill. 🤔 And I really love his warmth which make me feel so secure and safe ahaha
I hope you make a video on all the possible combinations! Looking for 5 with every number to understand my relationships better. Also... if you created these including instinctual subtypes (I know it would be a lot...) but that would be cool & interesting! I am counter 5 so I am looking for specific counter 5 compatibility hypotheses.
I'm cranking away on them as fast as I can! They take a ton of time to finish - but my goal is to have them all done by the end of the year. Thanks for being patient!
@@YouveGotaType Congratulations! Enjoy the new bundle of joy in your life! Take all the pressure off yourself, the content will flow again when the timing is right. Until then, enjoy this incredible stage in your life.
I’m a 5. My ex husband is a 9. That conflict thing is so true. I was a stay at home mom. He started working from home in 2020 after COVID. We got divorced this year. I would rather be alone is so true.
Love your content! I’m a 9w1 currently dating a 5w6 and found a lot of similarities with our relationship. What are the best ways to encourage physical activity with your 5 loved one? I work out and do things on my own, but he doesn’t seem to be too interested for himself.
That's a tough one, as 5s are notoriously stubborn so trying to "motivate" or "encourage" them can be tricky. All you can really do is make an honest, direct request for them to participate in a physical activity you enjoy. Then it becomes a question of how much they're willing to sacrifice their own comfort to love you the way you'd like them to...
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You really hit the nail on the head here. This is us EGG-ZACKLY! He is 9w1, I am 5w4. We sit side by side in our recliners, watching completely different movies on our tablets, happy to be in each other’s orbit. We each have a private room with a door. If he ignores problems too long I draw on my 4 wing and get pretty darned dramatic-enough to come to some sort of resolution. I asked him to watch this video with me and we both enjoyed it and laughed out loud.
So glad to hear it! And thanks for sharing your perspective + some personal experiences as a 5-9 couple. Always great to get a real life glimpse into how these concepts play out in real life ;)
I'm a 5 and my wife is a 9. Yes, we spend a lot of time reading. It's bliss.
Sounds lovely :)
I'm very much a Type 5, following the characteristics typically associated with this type almost to the letter. A few months ago I went through a breakup and, although I haven't read enough about the enneagram to be able to precisely pinpoint what type my ex-girlfriend is, I'm like 80% confident she is a Type 9.
Watching this video, I can say you hit the nail on the head. The "Conflict" segment starting at 7:02, specifically, perfectly encapsulates what we went through and how it slowly deteriorated our relationship, leading to its eventual end. Not once during the 16 months it lasted did we have a heated argument or direct conflict - not even in the breakup itself -, as we strived to try and fix things as rationally as possible, but in the end, it just didn't seem to work out.
It's now been about six months, and I still haven't healed from it. I just wish I could have watched this video before, especially the advice about the importance of "fighting". If I had known back then what I've since come to appreciate about myself and others using the Enneagram, maybe - just maybe - things could have been different.
I really appreciate you sharing this heartfelt reflection on your past relationship struggles. I'm sure it will help/resonate with many others in a similar situation. Best wishes on the continued healing journey 🙏
Lol, I'm cracking up so hard - husband's a 5, I'm a 9 - we read all the time, completely different books... And we have multiple libraries, not just one. The only reason we don't have a fireplace is because we live in a tropical country
Loved reading this, thanks so much for sharing! And I guess I gotta come up with a more geographically appropriate symbol than just a fireplace... what would be the tropical equivalent? 🌴
@@YouveGotaType lol, just the sun 😎 But I'm tempted to get a fireplace. For reasons. Coziness-related reasons 😂
This is unbelievably accurate.
🙌
ha... I just started a relationship with a 5, and this already feels pretty true to us! He's so observant and perceptive, and as a more intellectual 9 I feel like I have someone on my level to nerd out with. We're both avid hikers and backpackers so that's pretty reassuring when it comes to a shared hobby that includes a lot of quality time together :) definitely going to need to think through the conflict part a bit more though.
Oh my husband and I fight. Lol...(9w8 with a 5w4)... but it only took 16 years to get there. 😂
haha better late than never!
So interesting. I'm interested in a 5 and 7 video.
It's coming soon :)
why those types? and same - 5w4
As a 9, I've been really enjoying this recent series of yours! (Also the fact that 9s come first for once - usually we're last because people start at 1.) I'm wondering if you're also going to do the relationship for two type 9s (or two of any of the same time) in a relationship together - I think that would be really fascinating, and "relationship with someone of the same type" doesn't tend to get covered very much for some reason.
Had to give some love to the 9s :) And I decided to skip the dual type combos because my first section is "shared traits" and that'd be redundant, plus I made the Relationship Overview series which I hoped would help dual couples understand their "core themes" if you will. Maybe someday I'll get to the dual types tho!
Really enjoying this series. Great idea. Now I need to find go find a 9.
Glad to hear it! Best of luck on the search ;)
Applying this to my sibling instead of couple stuff when they're a 5w6 and I'm a 9w8, it's accurate
Glad to hear it ;)
I am a 9c starting a relationship wirh a 5. Thanks for this video!
Best wishes on the new relationship! Hope this helps :)
This had me rolling with how accurate it is 😂 my wife and I are 5/9 and this couldn’t have hit the nail more squarely on the head 😂
Glad to hear it resonated!
Need to see 5s and 8s
It'll be here soon
i'm 5w6 and with a 9w1... we never had conflict. 😅Thanks for trying to put a spotlight on the relationship. Your last statement describes us... big space, doing our own thing but within each other. hahahaha
Sounds about right ;) Thanks for watching!
This is the funniest, most helpful video I've ever watch.
Love to hear it!
Thank you for making this video :) I can't agree more on the quality time part. I'm 5w6 and my bf is type 9. Always feel so confused with that unstructured time spent together basically doing nothing and chill. 🤔 And I really love his warmth which make me feel so secure and safe ahaha
Great information! Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure! Glad you enjoyed it :)
I hope you make a video on all the possible combinations! Looking for 5 with every number to understand my relationships better. Also... if you created these including instinctual subtypes (I know it would be a lot...) but that would be cool & interesting! I am counter 5 so I am looking for specific counter 5 compatibility hypotheses.
I'm cranking away on them as fast as I can! They take a ton of time to finish - but my goal is to have them all done by the end of the year. Thanks for being patient!
painfully accurate
🎯
We do have a library! And also a bunch of tech stuff. It’s a good time 😊to
Sounds like it ;)
Hey, what's wrong with a home library? 😅(says the 5)
Nothing at all!! If I could design my own home, I'd definitely have one.
How far out is the 5 & 1 in relationship video on the road map? Really looking forward to that video. Keep up the great work! Thank you.
Thanks! I wish I had an explicit timeline, just had a baby so my free time for content creation has been drastically reduced. Sometime this year tho!
@@YouveGotaType Congratulations! Enjoy the new bundle of joy in your life! Take all the pressure off yourself, the content will flow again when the timing is right. Until then, enjoy this incredible stage in your life.
@@stevenhaver Thank you so much for the kind words 🙌
I’m a 5. My ex husband is a 9. That conflict thing is so true. I was a stay at home mom. He started working from home in 2020 after COVID. We got divorced this year. I would rather be alone is so true.
Oof I'm sorry to hear that but thank you for sharing a real life example of how these patterns can play out.
Love your content! I’m a 9w1 currently dating a 5w6 and found a lot of similarities with our relationship. What are the best ways to encourage physical activity with your 5 loved one? I work out and do things on my own, but he doesn’t seem to be too interested for himself.
That's a tough one, as 5s are notoriously stubborn so trying to "motivate" or "encourage" them can be tricky. All you can really do is make an honest, direct request for them to participate in a physical activity you enjoy. Then it becomes a question of how much they're willing to sacrifice their own comfort to love you the way you'd like them to...
My sis and bro in law are 9 and 5, ISFJ/INTP
That was good. Thanks.
My pleasure, glad you enjoyed it!
I’m a 9, and definitely do not subscribe to casually spending a whole day with someone. I need time estimates too, always!
Type 4 and Type 6 please and thank you. great channel
Comin up soon, so stay tuned! And thank you 🙏
um excuse me, libraries ARE fun x)
I ❤️ libraries :) I used to live in them in grad school...
great video
thanks!
Waiting for my type 5 and type 7
Hopefully you're the 5 so that the waiting comes more naturally ;)
You're a GD wizard...
🧙♂️